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Fixers (Beautiful_Disgrace and I)

"Because you act like it's normal," Luce muttered. "Look, whatever you can do isn't your fault. Not about magic, but acting like that everyone should know what you're talking about? That's creepy, and nobody likes knowing that you can just dig into their brains and pull out memories people want to forget. Nobody wants someone nosing in on their shit."
 
"But I can't dig into peoples brains. I only know what the spirits tell me. I don't really ask for them to talk to me, but they do. I don't like it sometimes, but I can't turn it off even though I wish I could...like right now. I try to ignore it but it's hard sometimes." Rayna spoke softly, even though it felt like her words would be drowned out. The spirit that Luce had around her was particularly loud, and disgusting...and it told her more things that she would rather not hear. But she tried her best to ignore it.
 
"Spirits, huh?" Luce snorted. "I probably have two graveyards worth trailing after me, then...look, it's not like I can't hear them either...just in a different way." she murmured. "...Everyone has them, Rayna. Everyone remembers them, hears them...sometimes even sees them. But they can't make them go away."
 
For a moment the mage was quiet as she looked out the window, attempting to drown out the yelling. Then she looked back at Luce. "They do go away sometimes...but that's only when the person let's them go." She was getting dangerously close to a subject she felt like everyone would reject, but..she couldn't help herself. It was a topic of conversation so...she'd talk about it.
 
Luce glanced at her a moment, fingers tight on the steering wheel before she sighed heavily. "Fuck me..." she muttered, pulling off to the side of the road. She was somewhere between wanting to gut the stupid bitch and...actually...ugh.

"Come on, out with it," Luce muttered, waving her hand. "I'm probably not going to get any goddamn peace anyway, just...ask me whatever you actually want to ask me."
 
When they stopped, Rayna was confused. But she heard her next words. She did have questions but...she wasn't sure if she should ask. Even if she said it was okay. "I don't want to hurt you again. I also am scared to ask, too." She confessed. She might have still liked Luce, but her arm was a painful reminder of why she should watch her words around the woman.
 
"Smart choice, but you keep eyeballing me like you want to ask," Luce muttered, fingers tapping on the wheel before glancing to her. "So ask me, what the fuck are you trying to dig for?"
 
All she could hear was the spirit firing off question after question for her to ask. It was about him, he wanted her to ask about him. Normally she wouldn't listen, but he wouldn't shut up. "Who is Carmello?" She asked after a few minutes, though her face looked pained and her heart started to race. She could only pray Luce wouldn't react violently.
 
Luce's expression darkened, and her fingers tightened so hard around the steering wheel that she actually broke the top half from her grip alone before it relaxed.

"...Carmello." she said, her voice as neutral as it was calm. "You want to know about Carmello."

Tiny daggers, thousands of cuts, screaming, begging, pleading to stop, the rush of pleasure and pain, the gleeful cackle in his voice, the smell of cum and blood and sweat...stop, please stop, stop the pain, stop it all. Stop. It'd start again. They'd always start over, new body, new pain, new experiments. More pain, more crying. Stop. Little Dolls did not cry, they were played with and with a smile. Always had to smile. Smile.Smile.Smile.
 
Rayna shuddered, suddenly going pale as she heard the feint words. Carmello was laughing, though his lips were not moving. Who's thoughts were those? She wasn't sure. She didn't have much experience with ghosts that haunted others because she rarely ever spoke to people or got close to them.

"Is he the one that makes you angry?" She asked after a bit of silence. That broken searing wheel...if she wasn't careful that wold be her neck. But still...she wanted to know.
 
"Yes," Luce said, and that was all she said as her eyes took a distant, hollow look. "He's the one who deserves everything he got...I only wish I could have kept him alive longer to make him suffer more."

Gurgling. Slow, steady. The heavy exhaustion of breath, the pitiful whimpers of a pig who got gutted. No more pain, no more hurt, peace. serenity. silence. freedom. Then nightmares, twisting thoughts. Blood. Pain. Pleasure. Fear. Men like demons, eyes filled with wicked thoughts. Terror. Running. Screaming. Pleasure again. Pain, pleasure and pain. Scrambling, laughing...something sharp. Red. So much red. Their screaming...more pleasure. Good pleasure.
 
This was Luce. Those were the thoughts that kept this man chained to her. She looked into her eyes, ignoring the spirit for a second. She seemed almost possessed by her hatred. Rayna reached out to attempt to hold her hand in a comforting gesture. If she said any words, she risked setting her off. Though this...was also a risk. She had to do..something.
 
Luce stared at her a moment, almost as if she thought she was crazy before her expression settled into something more neutral, hand over hers. "And I thought I was fucking out of my mind," Luce muttered. "You happy now, Princess? Do you feel better because you did a good thing that means absolutely nothing?"

No more. No more. Exhaustion, tiredness...heart beating slower. The only relief, temporary. Death was a lie. There was no death, only a quiet sleep. His grinning, pig face...the squeals that came from her mouth when heat sunk into her spine, when her blood boiled and her skin sizzled. Darkness. Peace. Silence. Then lights, bright and horrible...and then the memories, and the screaming, and the crying.
 
"No. I am not happy." Rayna said as her hand squeezed Luce's. "I can still hear it. I can still hear your pain..." Tears ran down her cheeks. Rayna was absolutely horrified with the faint words that echoed around her. She could see now..she could see that Luce's spirit was being constantly dug into by Carmello. He wouldn't let go over her. No...it was like he was chained to her very soul...and she didn't even realize that she was holding onto it with all her anger. "I..I didn't do anything.." She sobbed.
 
Luce watched her a moment, then sighed a little and leaned forward, pulling her into an embrace. She didn't apologize, she didn't say anything...she just held her. What could she say? That it would be okay? That she'd...just...get over it? That one day she'd just wake up and everything would be alright? She couldn't. She couldn't ever forget those feelings, she couldn't just forget all of her hatred. She was a miserable, horrible, violent bitch of a woman who barely had anyone she felt like she could trust. Aernir and Wizard were it, they skirted the lines of her paranoia.

Luce slid her fingers through her shortened hair, watching the cars go by.

"...Let me know when you're done," Luce said. That was all she could say.
 
Rayna felt awful. The voice had stopped. It seemed like Luce was too concerned about her than to keep getting lost in her own thoughts of her past. It was good and bad at the same time...but even though she wasn't hearing those thoughts anymore, they still echoed in her head. She couldn't imagine what she had been through..even though that evil spirit wanted to show her what he had done. What he was proud of. If she wanted, she could watch..she could have visions. But she didn't.

"I'm sorry...I didn't meant to cry." Rayna said after she finally composed herself. She looked into the womans eyes with a remorseful tear stained expression. "I..I'm really, really sorry Luce."
 
Luce regarded her face a moment, then sat up a little, resting her forehead against hers with a faint sigh. "...You know what I do, when I don't want to hear things that I don't like?" she stated, her eyes closing a moment.

"I tell them to fuck off," she said, opening her eyes. "...Whatever you're hearing, it's not worth this, girl. I've dealt with it long enough, I don't need someone else sobbing like a bitch for me. I don't want to know what you see with me, and I don't really care. But if that fuck Castello is on your mind, don't give him the time of day. He is dirt, less than dirt. He is the shit that makes dirt look good, don't give him the attention he thinks he needs, tell that pig to fuck off. I would sooner have him bang around my head until I die if it meant nobody else had to hear his stupid fucking mouth."
 
She sniffled and then smiled a bit. For a moment, she debated on her next words...but right now she wasn't afraid of Luce. She hugged her tightly, nuzzling her face into her neck. "I wish that you could do the same, Luce. But I know you can't. I don't mind...crying for a friend. Even if you don't see me that way...I see you as my first friend...because you saved me."
 
Luce leaned back a little in surprise, feeling her heart slam into her chest. Close. CloseCloseCloseCloseCloseCloseCloseCLOSE.. Ugh, god, she was just...all over him! Ugh, this is why she didn't like being...friendly. People got...in her space and stuff.

"Okay...okay," Luce grimaced. "Please get off me before I cut your arms off."
 
Rayna laughed a little and then released her, leaning back into her seat. She felt the clicking of the seat belt as it began to lock. She had pulled on it too much, and now she was stuck to her seat. She went to fiddle with it in attempts of taking it off. "Sorry...I couldn't help myself..." She didn't reject her claim of friendship..so that was a start, even when she threatened her.
 
"Yeah, yeah..." she sighed, helping her adjust the seatbelt. "Let's get this stupid pizza, alright?" Ugh...she knew this was a bad idea...
 
"I..forgot about the pizza." Rayna laughed a bit, and then sat back in her seat, looking straight ahead. She was sure Aernir and Wizard were either worried, agitated with hunger..or both. But it was fine. "You're a really nice person, Luce." She said after a while.
 
"...Yeah?" Luce mumbled, pulling back onto the road. "What makes you say that?" Nice? Her? Pft...maybe, maybe in another life. Maybe when she didn't think the world was some giant, fucking trash -bin that needed to be ignited to start everything over for the better.
 
"Because, even though you were in so much pain...you tried to comfort me even though I wasn't even feeling a fraction of what you go through every day. And you forgave me for those awful words I said that made you feel so angry and hurt. And you even freed me from Aernir's room so I could pee, and you saved me." Luce really was a nice person to Rayna, even if she didn't think so.
 
"...Feh," Luce muttered. "Look, don't look into that. I just know what it's like, that's all. If you're going to do this stupid thing about being a Fixer, may as well get used to your annoying ass. You're not a liability if we can help you figure shit out."
 
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