If it wasn't his hand wiping away her tears or rubbing her shoulder, she would have pulled away. Every time the subject of her mother came up with her grandparent's, she immediately shut down or shut herself in her room. The subject would be dismissed with a feigned smile, or an excuse to study would be made. Funny, she really did study whenever she made that excuse. Thinking back on it now, she had never really let her grandparents comfort her about the subject. And now, with her tearing up, there was an understanding that being abandoned hurt a lot more than she had thought. Still, her lips curled into the best smile she could muster as his hand reached toward her face. Upon seeing the concern painted on his face, her brave front faltered. The moment she felt his thumb wipe her tears, she felt more spill from the corner of her eyes. There was no crying, but with every bat of her eyelashes, another tear appeared for his thumb to wipe away. Hearing him speak, she was unsure what would make her cry more; the subject of her mother, or the sincerity in his concern. When he asked for confirmation, all she could do was nod with a quivering lip. If she even opened her mouth to speak, she knew she would end up sobbing.
For a long while, she allowed herself partial release of her emotions. There was no use in hiding them, not when he could see through her. Still, she wouldn't cry. Juliette concentrated on the warmth his touched gave her, or the comforting sound his hushed voice. Finally, after several tears were wiped away, she managed a half-hearted smile. Her eyes sparkling with tears, but also a silent gratitude. Despite even a hint of a smile, she could still read the worry in his eyes. Before she could assure him of anything, he spoke up. His voice was quiet, trailing off as he slipped her glasses atop of her ears and adjusted them to sit on her nose again. His anxious expression was clear to her now, and her heart ached with guilt. The sudden weight of his words took her by surprise, however. She would never want to burden him with her problems, not when he had so much on his own plate. A celebrity, world renown. He had his image to worry about, his modeling career, his schedule, not to mention his grades. He needn't worry about his girlfriend's sob story about her mother being young, stupid and love crazy. Still, as his face drew closer, and she closed her eyes, she couldn't help but pour her gratitude into their tender kiss.
Speaking of love--
Distracted, Juliette gazed at him with a content look on his face. Her mind was doing a quiet sort of reeling, contemplating how strange it felt to get at least some of her name-complex off her chest. There were also little thoughts here and there, while studying, about how lucky she was to have him. Here she was, sitting naked in a slowly-getting-chillier living room on the couch that her and her secretly dorky, Russian, celebrity of a boyfriend just made kinky love on. Playing back the scene of his comforting in her mind, she couldn't believe how cheesy it was. Cheesy in the romantic sense that it reminded her of the romance novels she had read. She would have never thought that a man would actually wipe her tears away or want to share her burdens, or make passionate love to her, and kiss her sweetly after, or tell her he loved her. Man, she sounded completely pathetic--
Wait, what?
Physically, her content face melted into a completely blank expression. Her thought process on the other hand was anything but. At first, all she heard was 'love,' which was normal given that was his pet name for her. Following that was the word 'you' and then her name, though, and that didn't make sense to have her name come right after her pet name, right? "...Huh?" She inquired not-so-intelligently and absolutely involuntarily. It was more a question she asked out loud rather than actually to him. Piecing the parts she did hear and the filling in the blanks faced on context clues, the calculating expression on her face turned into one of utter revelation. For a moment, she thought about asking him to say whatever he had said again, just so she could confirm it. But the hopeful look on his face...somehow said it all. Brown, teary eyes widened, and for a second no emotions shook her. None at all.
And then, they came all at once.
A storm of happiness, giddiness, nervousness, excitement, affection, adrenaline-- every sort of shaking emotion, hit her. Despite all of those emotions, she didn't act or move. She simply sat there. Finally, her hand moved up to her heart, squeezing the area around it as an act to pinch herself. Good, her heart hadn't literally stopped and she was awake. The confirmation started some waterworks again. Tears brimmed from her eyes and she reached back up with both hands to wipe them, her bare body shaking slightly as she held back her cries. At first, the crying threw her for a loop, scared her in fact. It wasn't actual, loud and sappy crying, but quiet cries brought on by emotion. She had read fiction upon fiction where feelings were admitted through words like 'I love you,' and even through books, her heart would flutter. But this, she never imagined such raw emotion hitting her. Maybe it was a mix of things. Like the fact her heart was still very vulnerable from the subject of her mother. It was more than that, though.
It was the realization that she loved him too that hit her so hard. And that scared her a lot. She was 18, still so young and locked away in a tower all her life. There was so much she hadn't experienced, and love was definitely one of those things. He was 20, only two years away, but in school so much farther. In life he was so much farther. Had he ever been in love before? And if so, what did it feel like for him? Juliette only knew love from words described in books, and it was always different. Reading, she had learned so much from books, but love was something she could never grasp just from simple words. She had never liked the unknown. And love was so unknown, yet...in a cheesy way she just knew--
This was her first love. He was her first love.
Thinking back, it's funny how incredibly strange their relationship started. But, the foundation it began with made sense. They started...well backwards. Traditionally, dating and getting to know each other came first, and then sex. But, they weren't exactly normal people. Not just in the sense he was a celebrity and she was a normal bookworm. The alcohol helped out a bit, but in the end, their intimacy was built around some sort of connection and mutual understanding. Two people that couldn't be real around anyone were able to be themselves in the eyes of the other. Before she knew it, he had excavated and unearthed parts of her she didn't even know existed. He had found pieces of what must be her true self hidden under a quiet and reserved exterior; a loquacious, sassy, and incredibly naughty young lady. And she had found the qualities that truly made him a treasure. Her treasure. She had come to treasure him so. She treasured the feelings he gave her, the fluttering in her stomach, the nonstop beating of her heart, the consideration and concern, the showering of affection. And she found herself always hoping to return it.
After calming herself down, she sniffled and found herself beaming a true, brilliant smile. Eyes sparkling as she chuckled, her thumb brushing the corner of his lips. "At least smile when you say it." She crooned, opening her mouth to return those powerful words, but nothing came out. For a moment, she panicked. All her life she had been so eloquent with words. These were words that she could have written so easily, but here she was with her mouth open and probably looking like some sort of idiot (for the second time today.) Blushing hard, she closed her mouth, desperately hoping he didn't think she was reluctant to say it, or worse; didn't think she reciprocated. Before she could try again, he seemed to get right into his own past.
Letting him speak, her mouth slowly closed, and she allowed herself to calm down. It didn't last long, because then came her heart's turn to ache. His face and voice were so far away, just like when he had talked about his stay at the hospital. The entire time, she kept complete silent, her dainty hand resting atop of his and laying her in between his own. Whenever it seemed like his voice and eyes grew farther away, she gave his hand a squeeze to bring him back, letting him know she was there. It seemed they had family issues in common too, although their situations were just a bit different. Strangely enough, she found his situation made her angrier and much more sadder than her own. Her parents had never been there for her, in fact, she didn't even physically know where they were on the continent of North America. Who knows, maybe her mother returned to the Philippines, or her father went home to be the drunk he was in Ireland. Mike's parents were alive and healthy. He knew they were there. And yet, they were never actually there for him. His mother threw him into a world he didn't exactly choose. Juliette was at least glad he had grown to enjoy some aspects of celebrity life. For the most part it just seemed to leave him exhausted.
The sound of his American accent had her scowling. "Promise me, you will never use that accent around me, ever." she smirked in hopes of lightening the mood, if only a little. It reminded her of the horrid and unfortunate first encounter she had with him. "The American version of Mike Romanov and I didn't get off to a great start." She snickered and pecked his cheek before allowing him to go on. Immediately, she grew tense when the subject of Alexandra came up. The moment he trailed off...she knew exactly where he was going. As much as she hated to say it, she figured that was the case. It sorta made her wary for a while, even before they started actually dating. The idea she was having sex with him and then Alexandra doing the same made her blood boil. "...I sorta knew." she whispered carefully, praying he wouldn't get mad for her assumptions. After swallowing her jealous emotions, she explained herself. "It was after we-- ahem- slept together for the first time... Girls would look at me different, probably jealous of our date." She cringed remember how uncomfortable going to class and working at the library was with the looks she received. "I heard them make legitimate comments of how cute you and and Alexandra looked together. How much of a 'power couple' you would be. A lot of people ship you two." She stared down at their hands rather than looking him in the eyes. She couldn't, not because she was angry or jealous (although she sorta was,) but because she felt inadequate.
Alexandra was graceful, slender, tall, mature-- a woman in every single sense of the word. Juliette found she compared herself to a lot of girls. But she found comparing herself to Alexandra brought the self-loathing she had done before to a whole new level. Short, chubby, chatty and a klutz who had her nose stuck in books and loved Disney. She was the equivalent of a middle school girl physically, in her opinion. "There were articles, which obviously didn't have much base to them. I knew, though, that there was no way you could just know how to be good in bed. So I connected two and two..." Her voice was a whisper. She could never compare to Alexandra, not in physique or maturity. A woman Juliette knew she wasn't, but she wished she could be. Despite the flaring anger and jealously, she couldn't be that angry. There was something in his voice that was genuine. After all, she had seen through the first act he ever pulled on her (their first meeting) in a matter of minutes. If he was telling her this, it meant that he must be serious about this relationship they had going. Finally, she took a deep breath and turned to him, a half smile pulling at one side of her lips. "I'm glad you thought to tell me, at least. It really does mean a lot."She whispered, lifting her head just as his lips found her own once again.
Her entire being felt light and airy, and her heart felt heavy as his words had her dreamy. Automatically, she leaned her head into his hand, reaching up and keeping his hand there while their foreheads touched. If he called her Juliette, she wouldn't mind. Hearing him keep saying her entire name had her both blushing and chuckling. The only time she heard her full name was when she was in trouble or too busy reading at home. It was almost too much to bear, hearing him say something as simple as her name with so much inflection. She opened her mouth again to finally answer him when his voice, once again, stopped her.
Mikhael Angelo V. Romanov.
She wasn't sure why his true name was a surprise to her, but it was. Her dark brown orbs grew larger as she took it in. It suited him perfectly. A name befitting someone so royal and handsome. Not that he was a prince, but he was spoiled like one, as well as almost unrealistically good-looking as one. Of course his real name wasn't Mike if he was born in Moscow. She let out a quiet laugh. It was their secret, her secret. His wonderful name that not any one of his fans knew. She would store that piece of information in her heart forever. Mikhael Angelo V. Romanov... "My middle name Divina. It's Spanish, oddly enough." After a long pause of searching his awaiting eyes, she took a deep breath. Pulling her hand back, she cupped both his cheeks, planting a ghost of a kiss on his lips before pulling back with a brightest of grins on her face.
"...I love you, Mikhael Angelo Vladimir Romanov." There was a pause between each part of his name. Juliette loved it, the sound of his real name rolling of her lips. She could say it over and over again if she could. Maybe she would, sometime. "Iniibig kita." Which she learned from her Lola, when she was little, was how to say 'I love you' to someone quote 'you were going to marry.' Maybe not married, but in the sense of romantic love, she was right. "Mikhael Angelo Vladimir Romanov." She couldn't help but whisper it again before kissing him again. "I much rather call you Mikhael than Mike...may I?" she inquired, blushing bashfully at both admitting her love and asking such a silly question. "I-If that's okay?" Suddenly, she felt frigidity and nervous. Did she convey it to him correctly? Was their even a correct way to even say 'I love you' for the first time? Before she could make a bigger fool of herself, her phone rang. She shot up from where they sat a bit too quickly, her legs like jello as she fell to the floor. "Oh gosh." She hissed. Her legs were really sore. Of all times to be a klutz, did she have to choose such an intimate moment? And here she thought she actually looked pretty mature for once. With a loud sigh, she reached for her phone on the table and composed herself before answering.
The call was quick, luckily, and her Lolo was only calling to remind her to order tickets for their Christmas trip to the Philippines....The realization had her growing eager to get off the phone, and once she said her goodbyes, she shot up from the floor. The painful soreness had her sitting on the couch as quick as possible. "First, don't say a word." She glared, the blush from before darkening at the possible jokes he would make about how her legs became sore in the first place. "Second, my grandparents take a trip to the Philippines for Christmas every year. I'm not much for traveling far distances," she ran her sentences off incredibly fast, excitement had her speaking a mile a minute. It wasn't that she was much for traveling, quite honestly, she was actually terrified of flying. The first time she traveled to another state she passed out before they even took off. It was so embarrassing that she would never tell anyone, well ever. "So I'm free for Christmas Eve...and the rest of Christmas break..." Her voice trailed off, and she searched his eyes expectantly for her hints to click in his mind. When they did, the plan was set.
--
Christmas Eve couldn't come fast enough. Time moved slower when waiting for something. Usually Juliette didn't have much to be excited for, especially on Christmas since she usually spent it in her room watching Christmas movies by herself.
This year was different.
Not only did she have Christmas to be excited for, she had the excitement of buying people gifts. Mike being the number 1 person on her list. Maria was on their, too. Even Gerard and Alexandra were going to get a little something from her. Saving up money was pretty easy, after all she didn't buy many cute clothes. She bought a lot of books, but recently she hadn't much time for reading. Most books could be read online, but she always loved the feeling of having a book and pages between her fingertips.
Between the last time she was at Mike's (which she was still completely awestruck over) and today, she hadn't seen him other than two tutoring sessions. Even then, she left right away. There was too much going on near holiday breaks in college. Exams, homework, extracurricular. It was hectic and mentally exhausting. Plus, she had to worry about working and how much money she had to spend on Christmas gifts. This was the first time the idea of 'giving' on Christmas really had her antsy for Christmas to arrive. In the past, she always drew her Grandparent's Christmas cards, or got up early and made them breakfast, or helped with dinner. The tradition for them to start traveling back to see their family started when she got into high school, so after that, Christmas was...extremely lonely. It was funny how much things changed since then. Uncanny, actually. She was going to go from completely alone to staying at her boyfriend's penthouse for more than a week! Minus working and going home to clean. Hopefully the neighbors wouldn't notice.
Before break ended, she was able to distribute her gifts to her classmates. Maria got a gift card to her favorite clothing store, and necklace from a boutique near the bookstore Juliette frequented, and a Beyoncé CD (her absolute idol and quote Maria, 'Goddess') and of course, a homemade card. Gerard got a Starbucks gift card, a regular homemade card and a CD with Various Broadway tracks. Alexandra would get a pair of elegant hoop earrings with a choker to match. It wasn't crazy expensive, but was still quality and suited her.
Then their came what to get Mike.
She spent countless nights racking her brain. It wasn't that she didn't know what he liked, it was just giving him something special. At one point, she finally got a few ideas. First, she asked him what his favorite color was. If he inquired why she asked, she would only pretend to zip her lips and feign ignorance. After learning that simple, little fact, she went straight to craft store and pulled a few all-nighters. His first gift, was a crocheted scarf in said color, for when he went home to Moscow in the cold. After the craft store, she ran to the bookstore and picked him up a book on how to bake a bunch of different sweets. Lord knows they both could make some use out of that one. The music shop was next, there she picked up the two CD's for Gerard and Maria, and a CD with classical piano music for him. A few of the tracks on their were her favorites. Maybe one day she would get him the sheet music for those pieces. The last thing...Maria actually suggested.
Maria was able to see right through Juliette's denial of dating Mike. In fact, she saw right through the denial of sleeping with him, too. 'They say a girl starts to look more like a woman after they sleep with a guy. Or something like that. There's just been something about the way you carry yourself, that and you've been on cloud nine since Mike got out of the hospital.' Were her exact words. Juliette guessed they were friends for a reason. After practice one day, Maria literally dragged her to Victoria's Secret of all places. The minute they walked in, Juliette made a beeline for the exit. It was one thing for her to shop in a lingerie store in the first place, but with Maria?! Maria prompted her to relax. Apparently girlfriends did stuff like this all the time. The entire trip consisted of Juliette blushing at every suggestion Maria made and then forcing her to try it on-- only to barge into the changing room and critique her. One suggestion was actually Santa Claus lingerie, which Juliette drew the line at right away. Some things were meant to be sacred. Santa was one of those things. At the end of the day, Juliette found herself laughing about it. It was refreshing to think that she actually had a friend to laugh like that with. The two of them after an hours of Juliette feeling self conscious, agreed to a very frilly, yet classy pair of lingerie in, of course, Mike's favorite color.
Christmas Eve finally arrived after an agonizingly long time. She had packed a bag for the first two days at his house, and decided she would come home to straighten up the house afterwards. Juilette made sure to pack everything, check, double check and then triple check. She had her shampoo, toothbrush, deodorant, perfume, giant makeup bag, change of clothes, books (plural, of course,) DS for at night, just in case, shoes, headbands, and finally her cell phone. In a cute snowman bag with white tissue paper was his gift. As instructed by Maria, she wore her final 'gift' for Mike under a dress Maria gave her to borrow for the festive evening. It was a red, casual cocktail dress. The sleeves were sheer, and the dress clung to her curves, making her feel even more so wary of her body then she already was. The skirt came down just at her knee, and on her feet she sported a pair of subtle black kitten-heels. Her curly locks of dark hair were pulled into a sort of half up, half down style, allowing her to show off her one double pierced ear with diamond studs. Surprisingly her grandparents had allowed that for her 18th birthday. If she had asked for a tattoo, she would have been burned at the stake. After twirling in the mirror about ten times, she eagerly headed over to Mike's penthouse.
As always, the moment he answered the door, she was bouncing in her place. Before she could even get in the doorway, she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him. "Merry Christmas." She whispered, enjoying the moment as the realization that she was actually with someone on Christmas washed over her. She was sure the sensation would hit her randomly the entire night. She pulled back from the embrace, taking her bag and carefully bringing it inside before turning to him with his present. Suddenly, a shy spell hit her, anxiety coming soon after. What if he didn't like it? What if he absolutely hated it, actually. What if he didn't like the shade of the scarf's color? What if he had the piano CD already? Her worrying trait began to act up, but she swallowed her fear, the eagerness to actually give him a Christmas present much stronger than her anxiety about it. So, pulling it from behind her back, she presented it to him with both hands. "Do you think...you can open it now?" She inquired, batting her eyelashes hopefully. It wasn't exactly Christmas yet, but she just couldn't wait. "I was never much for waiting to open presents on Christmas day." she admitted, embarrassed. As a kid, getting new books on Christmas was literally heaven on Earth for her. This year, she wanted to watch someone else experience the same excitement.
Your support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)
