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The Asset (Avengers) Moon/Lady

“It would be maybe.”TJ snickered a little before laughing. “I know. Neither can I. But I saw him playing with it earlier. Tony gave one to James’ to.”TJ smirked a little before nodding. “Okay, so maybe he wont be surfacing for awhile...or the next week...or month maybe. He’s got a super soldier to play with.”TJ snickered even as he kissed the other, simply just giving in and enjoyign the blowjob.

“hm, but you were just saying you wanted to watch. I mean, free porn.”Tony snickered drawing away from the kiss blushing as he looked up at the other, grinning. “Lunch would be amazing, even if I’m not up for sex. I’m fairly certain I’d rip open something, and that’d be unpleasant.”Tony said snickering a little moaning as he braced his hands against the wall as james washed him. “Gods, james...”He groaned, squirming a little as the other cleaned him, wanting more, but still to worried about taking advantage to be sure about it. Even if he logically knew that james was okay with sex and doing this, it still made him worried.
 
he huffed. "stupid super soldiers... the Serum has to give them super abilities to handle that kind of technology." he grumbled, shaking his head. "well. i can't really see us surfacing anytime either, so it works. and i haven't seen Johnny since he and Loki holed up in Loki's room anyway." he admitted with a snicker. "we're all worse than rabbits." he admitted before he ducked his head and gave TJ the best Blowjob he'd ever had. Clint could do wicked, wicked things with his tongue.

Steve huffed. "i said no such thing!" he protested, still blushing and looking amused. "alright, i'll make something good." Steve promised. thanking god that James had grown to trust Steve enough to make Tony's food. "i am not God." James stated simply, smiling as he stroked Tony, 'washing him' had turned into stroking Tony off. "i like it when your like this. all panting and happy and eager and wriggly." he admitted as he lowered his head, carefully washed the soap out of the way and pulled Tony's balls into his mouth and suckled on them. eager to make Tony cum, just because he liked the way Tony looked hen he did.
 
“Uh-huh. You don’t have to say it. I mean, everyone wants to watch me.”Tony snickered watching him go, snickering as he rocked his hips into the other’s hand, “Hm, you should be. You’re wicked, Jamie.”He muttered sighing softly as he shuddered, letting the other stroke him off, laughing. “Oh, you do do you?”He smirked looking down at him, smiling quietly. Looking pleased that james was enjoying this, moaning as the other took him in his mouth, whimpering quietly, groaning as he came with a moan, hands threaed in the other’s hair.
 
Steve snorted and shook his head, but didn't look back. he didn't dare. he had to remain in control of himself and his emotions. he couldn't do that if he saw Tony all lax with sex. "i am? is that a good thing?" James asked, looking a bit concerned. "yes, i do." James purred, smirking around his mouthful as Tony came, pulling away and gently washing Tony up all over again. looking quite smug and content. he helped Tony out of the shower, unwrapped him and carefully sponged the wounded areas clean before helping him get dressed. feeling happy and content, pleased that he could help Tony so much. he knew when Tony was all better he wouldn't get to do this anymore, but he would find other ways to make Tony's life easier. "Tony?... i want to play my Violin." he admitted. James only asked to play when he was feeling very good. when he was upset, angry or feeling poorly, he refused to even look at the Violin, let alone play it.
 
“Hm, very. Its no fun being good.”Tony smiled looking amused at the other’s words. Pleased that the other was happy, pleased in the utter knowledge that he’d been the one to cause it. It was a warm feeling to know that he was making the other happy. Smiling as the other finished his bath, he sighed quietly looking down at the edges pulling together, even if he couldn’t see it healing, every time he looked, it was a little more healed. “Hm?”He hummed at the sound of his name, startled at hearing it, having been spacing out for a few moments before focusing again, “Okay. Well, let’s go get lunch, Steve should be done with it by now, you can play out there if you want. Bet you could convince TJ to play to if you do. He really does need to get some practice at doing the paino again.”Tony smiled hesitating for a moment before wrapping a arm around the other’s waist, snuggling into him, leaning into him a little.
 
James smiled a little and nodded. He was pretty sure that being good was a good thing. everything he did was in an effort to be good for Tony. he didn't want to be bad, but somehow he didn't think Bad and Wicked where the same thing somehow. he'd have to ask Natasha, she seamed to know the answer to everything. "It's healing well." James admitted as he examined the wound, his head tilted. "I didn't know that most people could heal this fast. i thought it was a Super Soldier thing." He admitted as he gently pressed a kiss against the flesh, not touching the actual wound. ever since he'd heard the phrase 'Healing kisses' on the TV he'd kissed Tony's 'booboo' at least once a day, under the impression it would at least make Tony hurt less. "I'd like that." James agreed as he wrapped an arm around Tony and held him. "Why doesn't TJ play the Piano unless he's sick?" he asked curiously. he still didn't understand drugs or withdrawals, so for him, it was just 'sick'. "i like it when you hug me." James admitted with a smile. Tony was always fretting over silly things like that, so Jams liked to tell Tony when he liked something. he would tell Tony if he didn't like something too, but he hadn't had to do that for anything more than food yet.
 
“It is. And most people don’t. A...well its been almost a year now, I had a similar serum to the super soldier one put in, it allowed me to heal the damage from the shrapnel and get it out of my body, along with the arc reactor. Its not normal and it’s still unstable some, but it does allow me heal nearly as fast as you.”Tony smiled groaning softly as the kisses ghosted over his skin, it’d been torture to feel lips on him when he hadn’t allowed himself to want the other like this, now it was even worse to know james’ lips were anywhere near his body, cause it made him want to be healed enough to do something about it. “Because his parents have made the piano something he can’t enjoy simply because he likes playing anymore. Sort of like you and the violin....he plays when he’s sick because he forgets every reason why he doesn’t want to play.”tony smiled blushing a little as he tightened his arm around the other’s waist as they headed for the living room.”Good. Cause I like holding onto you.”
 
James cocked his head to the side, an act he did when he was focusing intently on something. usually he did this when Tony was talking seriously about something, or when he was fascinated by something. like the X-Box games Steve and Bruce played. "Shrapnel? that is what the Arc Reactor was for? to keep the Shrapnel from doing damage?" he asked, looking quite stunned. "I do not understand, even if it was a mock Serum, it should never have been temporary." he stated. "that's not how Serum's work... they bond to your DNA..." he admitted, looking confused, his brows furrowed in thought as he examined Tony's wound before he shrugged it off. Tony and Bruce where super smart, he supposed they knew that already. "they made him play against his will." James muttered. "they made it a bad thing." he muttered. "can i kill them? Art should never be made painful." he complained with a shake of his head as he paused at their rooms to get his Violin.

he wanted to play for Tony, to show him how happy he really was. he settled into his chair that he liked to sit in while he played and started prepping the Bow with Resin, taking meticulous care to apply it just right with a practiced hand, though he did not remember how, when or where he learned he did every move very carefully. mostly because the Violin was old, rather beat up, but played oh so beautifully. Steve had fetched it from the Captain America Museum, it had been Bucky's Father's Violin. Bucky's Father had taught him how to play, and Bucky had always loved showing off his skills to anyone who was willing to listen. often Bucky had played while Steve worked on sketches or paintings when they could afford the expensive paint and canvas. the Violin had seen better days, but James didn't seam to care, even if the E String was always a little flat and the G string couldn't be struck from a certain spot on the violin.
 
“Yea. A few years ago I was in a fire fight and one of my own bombs blew up. Ripped my chest apart, but the doctor who worked on me, kept it from killing me. The arc reactor, was powering a magnet to keep the metal shrapnel from tearing me apart. And it’s not temporary, it’s still working, and while your two was a instant bond, it seems Extermis hasn’t bonded completely, it’s still evolving, changing to fit me.”Tony said getting that happy excited way he did when he discussed science, even if he was talking about his almost death, it was still exciting to him, because it brought out a whole new way of doing science...though this was the most he’d talked about his feelings on extermis and afghanistan in...ever, really. While he knew the others knew about it, and bruce had to know about extermis, the billionaire genius was still reluctant to talk about it. “Yes, they did. So much so, that he wont play now.”Tony smiled a little before laughing. “No, you can’t kill them. It’d upset TJ.”he said before fidgeting, watching the other play before getting up, walking out of the living room for a moment before returning with a small case in his hands, looking nervous as he looked up at steve. Not sure how either man would take his gift, which had been a spur of the moment, I-had-to-get-it kind of gift. But Tony was aware that expensive gifts made people uncomfortable.

The stradivari violin was a simple, beautiful violin, but simple and not something that would be obvious in just how beautiful the sound it made was. Biting his lip he looked up at TJ and Clint as the men walked in, squirming nearly uncomfortable at even more of a audience, just in case he really did fuck up.
 
He blinked and examined the scars. "I knew you where amazing." he admitted softly. "Extremist must be a slow moving Genetic adaptation." he muttered. "instead of changing your DNA, it's working with it... i think." he admitted with a smile. "very interesting." it was rare to see James showing his intelligent side, and usually he flinched and clammed up as soon as he did it. he was getting more and more comfortable in his new role though because this time he did not flinch, though he did fall silent. "they made it a job instead of a passion." he grumbled, shaking his head before he sighed and nodded at the information that it would upset TJ.

He looked up when Tony presented the small Violin case and he carefully set his down and picked up the one Tony was offering and examined it with a critical eye before he gently, carefully lifted it out of the case and stared at it, lips parted and eyes half mast with pupils wide. he looked almost aroused as he stroked the strings, applying just a touch of resin to help and took care of the Bow, applying the resin and testing the strands before lifting it to his chin and drew the first notes, a shudder running through his body as he started what had once been his favorite song. Zigunerweisen, or Gypsy Airs. "it's beautiful." Steve whispered, staring at the Violin in awe as Clint swallowed. "it's a Stradivari... one of the rarest Violin's on earth, and the most beautiful sounding. people have killed to get one of those." Clint admitted, voice filled with awe and passion. "i think, out of all the people in the world, James might be the only one truly worthy of it."
 
That’s the theory. As it is, we’re taking it as we go, since me and pepper are the only two living people who survived it, so it’s still a theory on figuring it out.”Tony shrugged a little smiling at the other, nudging the other with his shoulder, pleased that James was comfortable enough to simply be himself, the bright intelligent assassin who’d once been James Barnes, with each day Tony was seeing more parts of the man he’d once been, instead of what hydra had made him.

Tony bounced a little watching the other pick it up, looking nervous. “Hm, now if you could just get him to look at you like that, you might have sex in this century.”TJ teased snickering as he watched Tony. “Shut up Teej.”Tony growled swallowing hard as he watched James, his attention narrowing down simply to watching the other, nodding slightly. “They have. It took me forever to find someone willing to sell.”Tony muttered, not about to mention just HOW much money he’d spent to get someone to sell. He didn’t want to make james uncomfortable with the gift. Jumping a little as the piano started to play, though it wasn’t perfect match since the zigunerweisen was meant for the violin, they sounded good together.
 
he nodded. "it sounds interesting." he admitted. "...we could perform an autopsy on Pepper. i bet that would help." he admitted, looking wicked and amused. he rather hated Pepper, though he'd never lay a finger on her, if only because it would upset Tony. "Actually the reason why they haven't had sex yet is because Tony's still hurt for it." Clint pointed out with a grin as he watched Bucky play, passion and Joy etched into every movement of the man's body. there was nothing James loved ore than playing his Violin, save maybe serving and pleasing Tony. "you do know James doesn't give a shit about Money, right?" Clint asked, smiling a Tony. "you could list a price and he wouldn't know what the hell your talking about... he sees he truth of this. you got him something he loves, because you love him too. look how passionately he's playing. he's playing for you." damn, that was deep, especially considering it was coming from Clint. James himself didn't so much as twitch when the Piano started playing, though he did smile as he came to the end of the song and let TJ start up the new one, his Violin matching, keystroke for Bow-stroke they danced together in the glorious magic of music. "I like playing Music with TJ." James admitted once they had called it quits.
 
“No, I think not.”Tony said though he looked amused though, because he knew the other meant it, but knew he wouldn’t do it. “True, but that’s not nearly as amusing to make fun of.”TJ snickered a little. “...Yea, well, people are weird about it. Even people that I wouldn’t think would be.”Ahhh, so tony wasn’t so much responding to james, but other’s who had hurt him for buying expensive toys when they didn’t understand that was the only way he understood how to say he liked them. Swallowing thickly as he jerked a little at the mention of love. “...You are such a sentimental bastard, Barton.”Tony grumbled sounding highly uncomfortable and backing away from the emotions that it brought up as he stepped into the kitchen to get his food, eating as he listened to the other’s play as he sat on the couch watching. “Good.Cause I like playing with you.”TJ grinned looking amused and pleased that they’d indeed managed to play so well together. “Want something to eat?”Tony said holding up a small plate of food and some strawberries as James sat the violin down.
 
He offered Tony a tiny little pout. James was still too wary to do a full on pout or worse, a sulk, but he did do little ones in the hopes he might get his way. it never really worked but he liked to pretend. "you mean Pepper and Steve where weird about it." Clint pointed out, smiling a little. "Tony... you completely rebuilt my entire floor to better suit me, you think i don't know how much money that must have cost? i didn't question you on it because i know you're rich as shit and the money is completely pointless to you. which means you did it because you wanted me to be happy with my living space. which meant you wanted me to stay, no matter what you said." he smiled at Tony. "for the record. my rooms are kickass and i love them." he admitted. "i am a sentimental bastard. it's Teej's fault." he stated with a snicker. "i am Glad." James stated, beaming at TJ. "we'll play again later?" he offered before his eyes brightened at the sight of the strawberries, accepting the plate and devouring the strawberries before examining the other food. it was new. oatmeal. he liked it well enough, it didn't taste too much and it had a nice feel in his mouth, not unlike mush.
 
”Yes.”Tony muttered tilting his head a little before smirking slightly. “Meh, I was rebuilding anyways. Loki you know, sorta trashed the place.”Tony shrugged even if everyone, even loki, knew that he had built them all rooms because he wanted them to stay. Even thor and loki’s rooms, had been refitted to the gods when loki arrived, to have small knicknacks and odd things the billionaire had thought the sorcerer would enjoy. “Uhhh, don’t go blaming me for that. Not my fault.”TJ snickered before grinning at James. “Definitely. We’re going to play later.”TJ smiled, not realizing that in those few minutes, the piano had slipped away from being a chore, to being something he could enjoy again. Tony smiled a little as he lounged across the couch resting his head in james’ lap, smiling slightly as he watched his friends, content and for once not wired with that manic energy that sent him to the lab, "Steve?"Tony said raising his head to look for the super soldier.
 
Clint chuckled a little and nodded. "he did. impressive that he managed to trash six floors down when the entire place was on lock down." he pointed out. "should have blamed it on the Hulk." he teased, winking at Tony. "it IS your fault TJ!" Clint whined, looking highly amused. "i was very good at being the insensitive jerk before i met you." he admitted with a grin. "now i actually say gay, girly things so people smile so you'll like me more. totally your fault." he admitted with a grin, James beamed at TJ at the promise of playing again he enjoyed his meal as Tony rested on him. it felt nice like that, safe and content and pleasant. "Here." Steve promised from Bucky's Violin Chair where he was running after care on the Violin, wiping it down and tending to both very carefully. it wasn't often that James forgot to do it, but even once could ruin a Violin completely so Steve wasn't about to take chances. "it really is a beautiful Violin." Steve admitted as he carefully settled it into it's case before tending to Bucky's first violin just as carefully. Yes. thank you Tony. i love it." James admitted softly, voice filled with emotion, smiling as he looked down at Tony, eyes suspiciously wet. as if that Violin was life itself and Tony was the one who had given it to him.
 
“Yea, well, Loki’s a impressive kind of guy. The fact that he’s screwing Johnny still and haven’t come up for air, is impressive.” “Do you think about anything but sex?” “Not really. Well come on, I mean you haven’t thought about it? There’s a jotun frost giant in there with a guy who literally can go up in fire. It’s a impressive mental image.”Tony snickered. Before smirking at Clint. “You always said gay girly things.”He pointed out relaxing at steve’s promise, ever since atlanta his need to know exactly where everyone he cared for was-even pepper still- was bordering slightly on the paranoid manic side of things, but he’d ease back with time. It was just...he needed to know everyone was safe. “It is. I know more about violins and what the Stradivarius look like now, then what I ever wanted to know.”Tony muttered, so that’s what he’d been doing for the last week in bed. Finding not just a Stradivari violin, but the perfect one. Looking up at James he startled a little, a light blush ghosting across the bridge of his nose, smiling quietly up at him. “You’re welcome.”He muttered leaning up to kiss the other, resting his forehead against james’, for tony it was a oddly private intimate moment, letting his shields drop in public. “I want you to play more...because you’re happy. I know you only play when you are.”He muttered to low for any but super soldier hearing to hear, tony just as eager to please and make james want to stay with him, as james was to please him.
 
Clint snorted. "i know right? makes me wonder if they didn't die in the throes of passion and we just haven't noticed the smell yet. there's other things to think about?" Clint asked, blinking innocently at TJ. "So... Sex isn't what makes the entire world work and isn't my reason for existence?" "...Actually, that does sound really interesting." Steve admitted, flushing brightly. "i mean, according to Legend Loki is the God of Fire..." he pointed out, looking quite sheepish about it too. "i do not!" Clint protested even if he knew it was true. "how dare you insult my masculinity!?" "what masculinity?" James asked before his breath hitched, his eyes widened in panic and slapped a hand over his mouth. he hadn't meant to say that, Panic was rising up inside of him but eased off when he realized that, while shocked, none of the people in the room appeared to be mad at him. in fact, Clint and Steve where both howling with laughter now. "you researched Violins all week?" Clint asked, sounding mightily impressed. James smiled as he leaned down so Tony could kiss him, resting his forehead against Tony's simply because it felt right. "I like to play, but when i'm sad, the notes are sad too, and i don't like that." he admitted with a smile. "you make me happy. i love you Tony." he admitted.
 
“...Jarvis?” “They’re alive sir.”the AI reassured. “And yes, there’s other things, like blow jobs and food and oh, food to be used in sex...”TJ said looking thoughtful before laughing stealing a kiss in amusement at the other’s question. “...You’re right. He is. I kinda wanna ask him about it now.”Tony said looking thoughtful as he considered the legends compared to them. TJ opened his mouth to reply, before his head whipped around to stare at James, before starting to howl with laughter, “Oh, that’s great. Even James knows you’re such a girl.”TJ gasped beteween laughter. “You’re okay.”Tony muttered gently squeezing James’ arm in reassurance before flushing avoiding looking at the others. “Hm, maybe. I mean, there wasn’t alot of other things I could do.”he muttered smiling happily as he looked up at James, before utter panic crossed his face at the other’s words, staring up at him before scrambling up and rushing for the door, for once not aware of how his actions were going to upset james, to panicked at hearing the words to think as he headed down for his lab before pausing, realizing that they’d look for him there, instead taking a detour to johnny’s rooms, knowing the flamethrower was in loki’s. Trusting jarvis to tell them he was safe, but not in who’s rooms he was hiding out in

"...what happened?"Natasha said pausing in the living room door watching them all as she heard teh elevator doors closing behind tony.
 
Clint rolled his eyes. "as if Loki could die Tony. he took a full on beating from the Hulk and wasn't even broken from the efforts. as i understand it, Loki just had the breath knocked out of him." Clint turned to smirk at TJ. "don't blowjobs and food count as sex? you have to eat to keep your energy up to have sex after all." he pointed out with a wiggle of his eyebrows, playful as ever. "we should totally ask him about it." he agreed with a laugh and a shake of his head. they all knew Clint would never be the one to ask. he was still entirely too timid around Loki. "...okay." James mumbled, relaxing a little more at the reassurance that he hadn't done anything wrong. "...Tony?" James asked, sounding lost and confused. "...Sir?" he asked, standing up just when the door slammed shut and he paused there, uncertain what he had done wrong, trembling with terror that Tony was going to punish him. what had he done wrong? why had Tony gotten mad? he didn't understand...

"...James told Tony he loved him and Tony freaked out." Clint explained to Natasha, his voice barely loud enough to be called a whisper. wary of James hearing him and thinking he had been wrong to tell Tony. James looked around at all of them, confusion etched onto his face. you could literally see him retreating from all the painful, bad emotions. back into his Winter Soldier shell and he turned away from them, striding away with a calm purpose to the Elevator. most would think he was going to check on Tony, after all that's what normal people did. James wasn't normal though, he was excessive trained by Hydra, and not in a good way. as far as James knew, the only way to please his Handler was to punish himself. so he went down to his and Tony's shared room, found an appropriate tool, a flogger, took off his shirt, knelt on the ground and picked up the leather implement. by the time Jarvis was able to warn anyone, James had already whipped bloody strips across his back thanks o the strength of his metal arm.
 
“I was more worried about the human side of that relationship, Legolas. Johnny’s still human, no matter how weird he is.”Tony grumbled. “..Oh, good point. Okay, all life is sex.”TJ snickered a little before nodding. He was definitely asking the god next time he saw him. ”...Tony has issues.”Natasha muttered looking worried, watching James worried.TJ went quiet, staring after Tony, not sure what to do, and James was gone before he could get his head together enough to think, pausing to look at steve. “Which one do you want to talk to?Tony or James?”He asked willing to let steve talk to which one he wanted before cursing as Jarvis warned them about James, realizing they were going to have to shelf Tony’s emotional issues for the moment, “Jarvis, Get tony. Tell him to get to his rooms, and I don’t care what issues he’s having.”TJ growled, for a moment sounding as in charge and demanding as his twin did. Heading down to Tony’s room he knew that steve was right behind him, and well, probably most of everyone else even as he scampered across the room, knowing for the moment he was going to be in danger, but well, looking at James’ bloody back, he was willing to let himself get injured for a bit. Stepping into the line of fire for the last strike his breath hissed between his teeth as he got ahold of the man’s wrist, knowing he couldn’t stop him, needing steve to do that, or tony, but he might startle him.”James, don’t.”He begged.

“James!Stop. Now.”Tony’s voice sounded like a whipcrack, just as sharp and edged as it had been telling him not to eat the strawberries, though there was still panic and tears until that, he was still upset, and this wasnt making it any easier to deal as guilt him like a punch, shoulders curling defensively in, as if waiting for a blow, and he was, expecting steve to be utterly pissed that he'd finally fucked up
 
Clint nodded. "a lot of issues, on top of James issues, this is going to get messy." he muttered, not quite realizing that James had left. "...i better talk to James." Steve admitted, looking concerned. "if James turns violent i might be the only one who can stop him without seriously injuring one or both of us." he admitted before jumping as Jarvis spoke, true panic overtaking his facial expression. "Fuck!" he gasped, horrified as he realized James was mutilating himself. James couldn't react in time to stop the leather from biting into TJ's back, though he did freeze there. without the up-draw, there was no tearing, TJ would have some nasty welts, but no blood had been drawn. James knew that if he hurt TJ Tony was going to be even more pissed with him so he froze, conflicted. what was more important, punishing himself or not hurting TJ? as soon as he heard Tony's whip-crack command the conflict was over and he dropped the Flogger, blood splattering across the floor as he turned and stared at Tony, lip trembling because he couldn't hold the emotions in. "I am sorry i displeased you. please punish me as you see fit..." he whispered, not because he thought being quiet would save him from the pain of punishment, but because he just couldn't physically bring himself to speak any louder. he knelt in front of Tony, prostrating himself, leaving himself open to almost any kind of attack. a kick o the face, a lashing to the back, a strike to the ribs, he waited for it. "Tony... you have to tell him your not mad at him." Steve instructed. "get him up and onto the bed, Bruce is already on his way up." there was no anger in Steve's voice, no blame, just guilt and worry, as if he was blaming himself for what James had done to himself.
 
TJ winced, groaning softly as the flogger slapped into his back, it was a good thing he didn’t mind some pain, though it was usually tossed in with the sex, not just a smack, but saving James from one more self inflicted hit was worth whatever his back was going to look like. Tony stared at the other man, looking upset and so guilty, anger and hate twisting his features, but even at a glance you could tell it wasn’t aimed at James, his anger and hate aimed at himself. Even james, would probably be able to tell that. Looking at the man kneeling in front of him, a tear streaked down his cheek dropping into messy black hair as tony looked down at the man in front of him, trembling himself as he raised a hand, but instead of the slap james was expecting it was a gentle hand to his hair, gently smoothing the tangled strands away from his face, for the moment at a loss for words, not having them to beg for forgiveness for being such a fuckup. Startling though at steve’s words he looked up at the other, eyes wide and tearful, looking so very young as he played with james’ hair, nodding at steve’s words, strangely quiet for a man who was normally so talkitive. “I’m not angry, Jamie.I’m not.”He muttered, smiling sadly and heartbreakingly sad as he gently got the other to the bed and making him lay down, pacing the edge of the bed as they waited for bruce, looking like a huge caged cat that was trapped, anxiety and need to be punished himself tangling him up as he looked at steve, sensing the emotions. “This isn’t your fault Rogers. Even if I did warn you I was a fuck up.”Tony muttered.
 
James wasn't looking at Tony though, he was too scared to. he didn't want to see anger, or worse, hate, twisting those beautiful perfect features. he didn't want to know that he was as disgusting as he knew he was. as everyone had always told him he was. he didn't want to see Tony looking at him the way all of his other handlers, save one, had. he flinched at the touch to his hair, that wasn't what he was expecting. wasn't what he wanted. he deserved to be punished, but Tony wasn't punishing him and he didn't understand why. he supposed if Tony wasn't going to punish him, then he didn't deserve punishing, logically he understood that but emotionally... that was an entirely different matter. "I Don't understand." James whispered. "i upset you... i did wrong." James whispered, trembling as he was urged to his feet and settled onto the bed. "i did wrong... i Don't understand..." James muttered, because he wanted clarification, he wanted to know why Tony had left, why Tony wasn't punishing him, Why Tony sounded like all his favorite people had died. "It's not your fault either Tony. you didn't know this was going to happen." Steve promised Tony. "no one is to blame here. you have your emotional issues too, just like me and Jamie does." he admitted. "there's going to be mess ups. big ones because James has been... programmed to react this way. we just have to make sure he understands that it is not okay for him to punish himself or hurt himself. we can get through this, and he didn't hurt himself too bad. it looks like it's all superficial." Steve admitted. "i should have stopped him when he left... i thought..." he shook his head. "i should have known better..."
 
Tony flinched hard as the man flinched at the touch to his hair, dropping his hand, the anxiety and self hate tightening his features looking utterly painful. Sighing quietly as he got the other into bed, he swallowed hard, forcing himself to stop pacing, twitchy as he sat down on the edge of the bed, twitching with the need to touch the other, but not able to. Not when the James had flinched away, even if he knew logically why he had, it still hurt and messed him up. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. You weren’t aware that I don’t do well hearing ‘I love you’.Or emotional things or...well, really any of this.”Tony muttered before looking up at steve, frowning at him. “No, but-”He swallowed the words, knowing that steve would just deny what he was going to say. ‘that he’d known he was a fuck up, that he should have known better then to get involved in this. “Jamie?You can’t punish yourself like this, not without explicitly asking me first.”Tony said because he knew he’d never give permission for it, so making the other seek permission first was a safeguard to make sure it didn’t happen. “...Cap, if I can’t take the blame for being emotionally screwed, you don’t get to take the blame for this. You didn’t know he would. Now. Do you need anything?”Tony said, directing the last down at the brunette on the bed, twitching anxiously, resisting the urge to climb in and snuggle against him, not wanting to hurt him.
 
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