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Quix's Random Bullshit Thread (Comments Welcome)

Malicious Lullaby said:
15er1o.jpg
<3 <3 <3 <3

Oh, come on Mali, just admit it:

[video=youtube]http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FqErhZyylU[/video]
 
what-you-talkin-bout-willis.jpg%3Fw%3D549


That song of yours is 1991!

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In other news, I hereby present Australia's latest nominee for a Darwin Award!

Teen Boy Tries To Impress A Girl, Jumps Into Crocodile-Filled Water[/color]]

Link:

An 18-year-old in Australia wanted to win a date with a girl, so he did something few others would try: he jumped into a crocodile-infested river.

According to 9 News, Lee De Paauw had been drinking with British tourist Sophie Paterson when he was dared by friends to jump into the Johnstone River to win a date with Paterson.

De Paauw believed that native Australians, rather than tourists, were less likely to be eaten by crocodiles, so he confidently took the plunge.

As it turns out, his theory was wrong and his friends and Paterson watched as a 10 foot crocodile grabbed him by the arm and dragged him 6 meters away.

Luckily, De Paauw was able to use his free arm to punch the reptile in the eye and escape alive.

Paterson spoke about the attack, saying:

““It all happened very fast, pretty much as soon as he jumped in, there was splashing and screaming…..I’ve never heard a guy scream like that. There was a lot of blood, a lot of bone.”

Despite needing to recover in the hospital for broken bones and gouge marks, De Paauw does not regret what he did because he won his date. He said:

“It was all worth it. She’s beautiful, caring and kind.”

 
It was the first result that came up in my google search, which must mean it's a classic that's passed the test of time! Unlike that Bieber most people had probably already forgotten!

And what a brilliant brain, it must be, xD

In other news, no he didn't, she changed her mind, so not only did he (almost) lose an arm, he lost a date as well.

PS: You win this round, because I couldn't think of an appropriate image/song to respond with, but don't let victory go to your head!


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And some more of the awesome Tim Minchin as Trump in a parody of 'When I Grow Up' from the stage version of Roald Dahl's Matilda, for which he wrote the score.

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYS1IgLGMVU[/video]

And what would a post of Tim Minchin be without also including some thoughts on religion!


[video=youtube]http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7NL48kRH3A[/video]
 
Sorry Sync, although that is a favourite of mine, you're a litle too late because now that Mali's won, as the legendary Australian Band - whose every song sounds pretty much exactly the same as their next - Air Supply, sings :

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBMYow46LxQ[/video]

Not that I'm a sore loser or anything!
 
Pfft.

You only lose if you stop fighting:

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGVZOLV9SPo[/video]
 
Just replace the Mickey, with Mali, and that song would be perfect, xD

Another of my favourite lades of the the 80', with a song that a few on here can likely identify with!


[video=youtube]http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rH8hcfhG1Jo[/video]

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Another post I'm quite proud of, more for the fact that it contains in-jokes to myself than anything else. I always love having the opportunity to mock religion, although I honestly do see threats of hell as a form of child abuse. In fact, I see the indoctrination of children into any aspects of religion before they reach the age of being able to reason and think critically for themselves, as abuse.

I'm just lucky to have a great partner who seems to still enjoy my posts, even when they're a touch self indulgent, xD In regards to the Wizard of Oz, ever since I first saw that movie as a kid, I've always made that connection between the Wizard and God, with the latter being nothing but an egotistical bully who'd go to water the second anyone stood up to him. If he existed!



Face pale with terror, Adam's shaky hand moved to switch on the bedside lamp. Images of Fire and Brimstone, and writhing figures, - men, women and children all - screaming in pain as flames consumed their bodies, flowed through his mind. Eyeballs exploded, and liquefied flesh oozed into fiery lava pits, leaving nothing but a collapsed pile of charred bones on the ground before moments later the victim's human form was resurrected in its entirety, and subjected to the same agonising fate again. Over and over, ad infinitum.

"DO YOU DESERVE TO BURN?"


The Pastor stared at him and Eve, feverish gaze darting between the children seated in the front row next to their Uniformed father and oh-so-sweet-acting Mary, pointing the Crucifix at each in turn.

"DO YOU?"


The question screamed at one child, then the other.

"OR DO YOU DESERVE TO BE SAVED?"

"Hell for you, boy." David twisted his arm, and painfully pinched the sensitive flesh above Adam's elbow, the previous day's misdemeanour neither forgotten nor forgiven, but the boy knew not to protest. Or, even worse, to plead to his Step-Mother for assistance.

Father O'Malley, a friend of David's and Police Chaplain, approached from the pulpit.

"REPENT YOUR SINS AND LOVE AND OBEY THY FATHER, OR YOU SHALL BE TORTURED FOR ETERNITY."

The Man of God frothed at the mouth and screamed at Adam and Eve in front of the entire Parish, continuing even as the boy cried and cowered away in abject terror. A man who was meant to be loving, and care for his flock. A man who.....................

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Adam's head struck the wall of the trailer with a harsh thump, eliciting a grunt of pain, but at least it brought an end to the memories before the howl of denial escaped his lips, further scaring Eve, and allowed him to avoid having to think about what the same Priest had later done after David had offered Adam up as an altar boy on his fifteenth birthday. Where the phrase, In Service of The Holy Father, assumed an entirely new meaning, and no amount of soap had been able to cleanse the vile taste from his mouth.

Panting and puffing, he returned to reality, and wrapped his arms tightly around Eve, as always feeling guilt that she endured the same nightmarish memories as he. For as much pain and abuse as he'd suffered, it was his little sister's that most pierced his heart, and encouraged the relentless mental demons to never rest. Not only what he knew, but the depravities Eve couldn't bring herself to fully reveal after they'd reunited. Maybe if they'd unconditionally loved David, as he'd demanded, things would have been different, but then how can you love and respect one on command who has done naught to earn either?

If there really were such a thing as Angels, why didn't Eve have wings? Adam clasped a hand over hers, and ran a palm lovingly up and down her back, admonishing himself to remain strong for his sister. "Too much power, we can't let him." He repeated her words, and flicked his gaze back to the television, fearful that the channels might have changed by themselves when he'd looked away, and David would be there on the screen shaking his head in mocking contempt at Adam and Eve. Then her next comment penetrated his consciousness and the expression on his face when he returned focus to her was one of disbelief, as if she were crazy. "Kill him?" Thunder cracked outside, and Adam jumped a foot in the air, expecting the ceiling to cave in and crush them to pieces where they lay.

However, it didn't, and as Eve crawled up his body and his touch drifted down her skin, the spark in her eyes ignited a confidence in her elder brother. "Murder him, eviscerate him, cut God's fucking head off and feed it to the dogs." Excitement and glee lit up Adam's features, mostly in surprise that he'd actually uttered the words aloud, before his countenance sobered. "Do you think we could, but how? He has his army, and would turn us to dust before we even got near. Unless." Adam's brows furrowed in concentration, the last word barely audible.

Leaning forward, he tugged on Eve's arm, bringing her closer, and peered into her deep-brown eyes. "Do you recall that movie we watched one time, Evie? The Wizard of Oz." Whispering, he cupped her chin and caressed her cheek. "Sometimes when I have a good dream, that's what I dream about." A light smile caused the corners of his lips to curl upwards as he recalled one of the few pleasurable events from childhood. "That God is like the Wizard, all booming voice and scary threats, but once you get close, you discover he's actually nothing but a pathetic little man, terrified of his own shadow."

Shrugging, Adam sighed, and kissed the tip of Eve's nose, then her forehead, "Maybe that's just wishful thinking, but we're not helpless children any more, and if we took out his minions first?" The very same blue-uniformed minions who, after a few too many beers at David's poker nights lured the teenage Adam down to the basement and forced him to perform acts condemned in the Bible, but apparently condoned by The Lord for certain of his Acolytes. "Weaken his defences and make him frightened of us, before we confronted him." Kissing Evie's nose again, then her mouth, Adam Magdalene lightly bumped his head against his sister's. "If it doesn't work, we're destined for Satan anyway."
 
And damn, I just received a random message from another member on here asking if I minded if they used my screen-name as the moniker for the diabolical villain in a novel they're writing. To which, of course, I said, not at all, I'd be honoured and was glad I could inspire someone to make such a connection!

DzlItem564.jpg


Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have taken it as a compliment after all! I envisaged him being more along the lines of:

rhp6ZLa.jpg
 
Late night/early morning insomniacal musings.

With the advent of the new bumping policy and my constant struggle to find compatible partners, I've finally conceded defeat and decided to turn over a new leaf and change my persona around here. No more sarcasm or hyperbole, no more venting and ranting, and no more expressing my disdain for the never-ending congo line of submissively-oriented female characters who inhabit virtually every story on both here and E.

In fact, in regards to the latter, as hard as I've tried to avoid it, the time has come where I must acknowledge and embrace my evolutionary masculine superiority, and appreciate those tropes for what they do have to offer. To anyone I've declined to write with before, if you'd be kind enough to forgive my previous ignorance and grant me a second chance, I'd be eternally grateful.

So, to all and sundry, I'll flesh the below plot bunnies out and post them to my RT with the next bump, but in the meantime, if you have:


  • An innocent daughter of a man who crossed a Mafia Don needing to be made into a slave to repay a debt
  • A dasmel in distress requiring a rugged, dominant male to rescue her from peril
  • A virginal Princess pressured into an arranged marriage to a Dominant Prince - from whom she'll learn the arts of submission and diplomacy - in an attempt to avert all out war between two Kingdoms
  • A naive, shy, innocent, never-been-touched girl needing the strict hand of an experienced older man to teach her about the birds and the bees

  • Either an Investigative Journalist or a Cop to undertake a secret mission to infiltrate a Biker Bar/S&M Club only to, in the second post, have her intrepid plans foiled by an evil villain who'll turn the once 'strong' (obviously, evidenced by her profession!) woman into a submissive little fuck-toy to be used and abused for the member's amusement
  • A young daughter to be fantasised over by Daddy, who can't restrain any longer his need to teach her a lesson
  • An impressionable student to be taken advantage of by her handsome Literature Professor, who'll threaten to fail her and treat her like shit before she grows to love it and together they sail off into the happily-ever-after sunset.
  • A frigid bitch to be turned into a cock-craving submissive slut
  • A teen to be forced into prostitution who, instead of trying to escape, finds it arousing, leading to her happily spreading her legs for as many men as humanly possible whilst falling romantically for her woman-beating pimp
  • A Vampire whose inhuman strength and extraordinary abilities are made redundant in the context of the story due to the plot requirement, usually executed around three posts in, that regardless of how great they are, she must still submit to either a Lycan or Vampire-Hunter
  • A woman lost in the woods happening upon a lone man living in a cabin who, desiring nothing but solitude and to be left the fuck alone, - hence why he forwent his Calvin Klein underwear modelling contract for an isolated cabin in the woods - randomly finds himself wanting to seduce her when she knocks upon his door in the middle of the night, and will not allow the buxom beauty to leave until she succumbs to his roguish, masculine charm.
  • A lone hitchhiker whose car breaks down in the middle of nowhere where the first people who happen to drive past unfortunately turn out to be a bunch of vile, but extremely good-looking, rapists, rather than the more statistically probable neutrals or Good Samaritans. Or even ugly rapists.
  • A big-titted, sexy female adventurer in a fantasy world, which I GM portraying a wide variety of male beasts who have no purpose to their existence other than to wait for big-titted, sexy female adventurers to pass by so that they can fuck them as viciously and savagely as possible. (Fortunately, if you're not already aware, all big-titted, sexy female adventurers are secretly into that, and no matter even if some of the beasts possess three-pronged, twenty-foot long barbed phallus's emitting more voltage than a swarm of enraged electric eels, no permanent harm will befall her, nor will our big-titted, sexy adventurer ever fail to reach a screaming climax.)
  • An 'independent' woman reluctantly entering a BDSM club for the very first time only to experience an epiphany, three-and-a-half seconds after meeting the steely gaze of a man she's never before laid eyes on, where she realises that being a sub is her true calling in life and she's just found her Dom
  • A happy-go-lucky, minding her own business Elf to be fucked by an Gigantic Orc who with a realistic application of the laws of physics would crush her to death, but in our fantasy story simply pseudo-rapes her to multiple orgasms
  • A younger sister to play opposite an older brother who has nothing else on his mind than his desire to ravage and dominate her; no matter what. But, don't worry, she'll like it.
  • A sexless woman to be corrupted and transformed into a brainless bimbo who can never get enough cock
  • A human girl who attracts the attention of a Demon intent on turning her into his pet. (For something extra unique, she could accidentally summon him by innocently reciting a spell from a dusty old book she just happened to stumble across in an attic.)
  • A woman to be mentally, physically and sexually abused by a man she eventually falls in love with, because:
    a) Stockholm Syndrome
    b) He was doing it out of love, lust and desire and to show her what it was she truly needed; isn't that fucking romantic?
    c) Just because
    d) All of the above
  • A naughty schoolgirl or workmate to be discovered showing off her boobies by a peer/colleague and subsequently blackmailed into becoming the biggest, most depraved cock-hungry worthless whore in the history of the Universe. Because, well, that consequence is better than going to the Police and risking a slap over the wrists from her parents or boss.
  • A succubus who, in an amazingly novel twist, belies the very nature of her kind and Succubi the world over by possessing zero sexual agency and seducing absolutely no-one before being utterly dominated by a vengeful Paladin

  • An Anastasia Steele for my Christian Grey

Or any such similar rare gem of a proposal, from this moment on please feel free to approach me to write it with you!
 
Malicious Lullaby said:
I think he's having an aneurysm...Quix snap out of it!

No, no, Mali, I'm fine. Was just a little knock over the head that made me finally come to my senses.
 
Oh Quix, I have an idea for a teenage school girl who meets with a psychiatrist to overcome some previous trauma, and instead of helping her, he just trains her to love cock and be submissive!
 
xanaphia said:
Oh Quix, I have an idea for a teenage school girl who meets with a psychiatrist to overcome some previous trauma, and instead of helping her, he just trains her to love cock and be submissive!

Hmm, I do like the broad concept, Xana, it's unique. However, instead of her needing to meet with him to overcome trauma could we give her a little less agency and instead just have the respected Psychologist, whose entire life's ambition is to train a teenage girl to love cock and be submissive, randomly snatch her off the street?
 
Mr Quixotic said:
Malicious Lullaby said:
I think he's having an aneurysm...Quix snap out of it!

No, no, Mali, I'm fine. Was just a little knock over the head that made me finally come to my senses.


But...You were already at your senses! And now you have plots that just cater to smut? What happened to the other day when you said it's better if the smut isn't so often and once in a while but that there's more plot to keep things going and interesting? Does this mean you're no longer going to enjoy our play because sky isn't submissive?
 
Malicious Lullaby said:
You've really disappointed me Quix...I don't know what this will mean for our future as role play partners. -sigh-

I'm not sure, either, Mail, especially since those new plot bunnies garnered more approaches in one day than I've received in total over the past three years. I probably won't even need to bump again until next April Fools.
 
Well Quix, if you play lowest common denominator, you get more responses. Just much less interesting ones. It's a fine line to walk.
 
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