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lait said:
Mr Quixotic said:Glad I could give you a giggle
Sometimes I think it's just me, and that how I'd interpret the question is different than how others do. I ask it quite often when someone approaches me, to try to gauge if we have similar tastes, but rarely get the type of response I'm looking for.
For intance, and this is common, when I asked someone the else the other day to give me an idea of what they liked to write about, they came back with 'Science Fiction and Fantasy'.
The way I think of it, if someone asks what the movie, Bladerunner is about, and I respond with 'Science Fiction' I'm not really telling them much. I could give the same response for 2001: A Space Odyssey, or a thousand other movies, yet they'd all be completely different films, with differing themes, and 'about' different things.
-shrugs-
Rudolph Quin said:Mr Quixotic said:Glad I could give you a giggle
Sometimes I think it's just me, and that how I'd interpret the question is different than how others do. I ask it quite often when someone approaches me, to try to gauge if we have similar tastes, but rarely get the type of response I'm looking for.
For intance, and this is common, when I asked someone the else the other day to give me an idea of what they liked to write about, they came back with 'Science Fiction and Fantasy'.
The way I think of it, if someone asks what the movie, Bladerunner is about, and I respond with 'Science Fiction' I'm not really telling them much. I could give the same response for 2001: A Space Odyssey, or a thousand other movies, yet they'd all be completely different films, with differing themes, and 'about' different things.
-shrugs-
Def a good baseline inquiry, particularly since it forces them to sort of articulate an interest that you can gauge your own style and themes with. One question though that constantly trips me up is "what kinks do you have?" Don't get me wrong, I'm a big plot guy, I like the occasional oneshot but for the most part, I'm in it for the epic journey, the character interaction/development and growth. But I have a short attention span and get sexually excited in a way that I like to blow off steam using the story setting and characters. There as to be sex often. Not so much that it disturbs the narrative but in the way that if we were to take the thing and market it as a book, there'd be no way we could get away from labeling it within the erotica genre.
But thing is, I'm pansexual/gray asexual and I'm not particularly interested in the whole rigamarole of BDSM with contracts and training and the like. My kinks aren't vanilla though. More I like drama revolving around sex, sometimes noncon used as a plot device and a way to shoehorn violent dominance and sadism without the strict guidelines of BDSM. But... noncon isn't required for a plotline. That's the feeling I get a lot of times that when you start listing off kinks you have, instead of seeing possibilities, people see a list of requirements. Because why would I put on the list something that I'm not interested in or desiring at this moment?
For instance, the book I am writing with heartlesskitten that started as an rp here, it starts off with a sort of noncon situation but more in the "extortion" vein rather than abusive or violently overpowering someone. And the sex scenes in the beginning of the book are motivated by this pressure of will upon another person but the sex itself is actually mutually beneficial as far as pleasure, my character basically seducing hers to elicit enjoyment from her to better the experience for them both. However, a bit later in the book, my character does end up raping hers in that violent way, while in a drug-induced haze. But it's one scene and it happens several chapters into the book. It's not something I asked for right off the bat and it's not something I said needed to happen for my enjoyment of the story. It was decided upon together, after the story and character interaction was established as something "hey, this should happen".
How do you bring this up to someone as something you're okay with and even like without that becoming the focus of the story because it's not necessarily a kink you favor above all others? I don't know, it's just a question that I always dread, preferring to focus on what my partner would like to happen and catering to that because it's simply easier, especially if a lot of the things they enjoy overlap with my internal list.
Since I am so focused on story, the actual "what do you like to write about?" question seems like an easier one to answer and get a response to.
Sorry to intrude, just saw the interaction and thought I'd join in....
Mr Quixotic said:No worries Rudolph, the comment is appreciated. A lot of it comes down to my having a global thinking brain, rather than a sequential one, which means that I require the big picture first - in this case the 'about', or overarching theme - before the details can fall into place. I also like to ask open questions as I require reflection, and to have people express thoughts in their own words, in order to be able to fully 'get' if we're coming from the same place, and to know if I've been understood. "I agree with you", or "I like what you like" type replies hinder more than they help, and lead to frustration.
In regards to what you've said about your story, and kinks, I see where you're coming from. Whilst I like sexually based stories, I very rarely derive sexual energy from them, and most of my 'kinks' are contextual ones; such as exhibitionism, infidelity, voyeurism, betrayal, and the like; rather than ones which directly relate to the physical act itself. It's how they occur, and the context in which they occur, rather than the occurrence itself that I like to write about.
I've a current roleplay going that included a violent rape in the initial post, which is there solely as plot device, and to provide a logical basis for the rest of the story, and another which reached a point of where my partner and I needed to decide, 'Okay which way do we go, force, or forced pleasure', in a scenario that just came about as we were writing, rather than it being pre-determined.
I think many people are here to write out certain fantasies, and a lot of the stories seem to be created from a shopping list of kinks. There's a multitude of things I'd be willing, and actually like to, include in a roleplay - even a Dom/Sub, Master/Slave dynamic, of which I'm certain my dislike is well documented - as part of the bigger picture, however mentioning that one particular thing means it can quickly be turned into, or assumed to be, the sole focus.
Congratulations on the book by the way, I've read a little of the roleplay with Heartless Kitten, and look forward to the book when it's published.
Edit: And, of course, me being me, I went back and changed the wording of my intitial post because I didn't like it, after you'd already quoted the original
Rudolph Quin said:Mr Quixotic said:No worries Rudolph, the comment is appreciated. A lot of it comes down to my having a global thinking brain, rather than a sequential one, which means that I require the big picture first - in this case the 'about', or overarching theme - before the details can fall into place. I also like to ask open questions as I require reflection, and to have people express thoughts in their own words, in order to be able to fully 'get' if we're coming from the same place, and to know if I've been understood. "I agree with you", or "I like what you like" type replies hinder more than they help, and lead to frustration.
In regards to what you've said about your story, and kinks, I see where you're coming from. Whilst I like sexually based stories, I very rarely derive sexual energy from them, and most of my 'kinks' are contextual ones; such as exhibitionism, infidelity, voyeurism, betrayal, and the like; rather than ones which directly relate to the physical act itself. It's how they occur, and the context in which they occur, rather than the occurrence itself that I like to write about.
I've a current roleplay going that included a violent rape in the initial post, which is there solely as plot device, and to provide a logical basis for the rest of the story, and another which reached a point of where my partner and I needed to decide, 'Okay which way do we go, force, or forced pleasure', in a scenario that just came about as we were writing, rather than it being pre-determined.
I think many people are here to write out certain fantasies, and a lot of the stories seem to be created from a shopping list of kinks. There's a multitude of things I'd be willing, and actually like to, include in a roleplay - even a Dom/Sub, Master/Slave dynamic, of which I'm certain my dislike is well documented - as part of the bigger picture, however mentioning that one particular thing means it can quickly be turned into, or assumed to be, the sole focus.
Congratulations on the book by the way, I've read a little of the roleplay with Heartless Kitten, and look forward to the book when it's published.
Edit: And, of course, me being me, I went back and changed the wording of my intitial post because I didn't like it, after you'd already quoted the original
I totally get what you mean and I feel like I handle things in much the same way. I used to do a lot of seat of my pants type rping where my partner and I would try to surprise each other with posts and direction. Although fun, in a way, and challenging, reading back over those rps... it feels like two people cock sword fighting, or the egos like in an old cartoon jerking the spotlight over themselves at every opportunity. It never really went anywhere, not in a coherent or balanced way. I remember while chasing some targets, we had on the agents side, everybody in a car ride forever. No, literally, just talking back and forth, little dramas and overrevealing info that wasn't relevant, just to constantly make our character the center of each post we made. So, definitely, at least a theme, a vague goal to start with, something to kind of aim for, and a clear starting relationship, some sort of feeling or interaction to start off with(usually a toxic or problematic one because I love that as a hook and I love taking bad characters and trying to set them on a course to be molded into better people; not always a clear cut journey or progression of events, because like humans, they'll fail sometimes, but that's the kind of story I enjoy reading and being a part of).
Also, I don't really know how to classify my sexual energy while rping. It's almost like it is something else because it's not like I beat off while posting and never feel the urge to(reading back over those scenes though, during editing, I have discovered that they are very stimulating ^^; ). But yeah, like you said, from an intellectual standppoint, it's exciting to dramatize things and gives me a non-physical hardon.
For instance, with the kinks vs themes thing, I love the aggressive male archetype. Masculine, arrogant, violent temper, sex appeal, snarky, clever. I get this "turned on" sensation that isn't physical, when he pushes people around, when he's abusive either verbally or physically. I like to put him in situations where almost voyeuristically, he is forced to confront others for bad behavior, particularly if it's taboo, and be shamed and usually have him react defensively or smugly to that attempt at shaming him. I like to see him brought down a few notches, either getting his ass kicked by someone stronger or through pegging, having to struggle with a homosexual implication in the desires of his body(he's usually not enlightened enough, at first, to realize that getting fucked up the ass and liking it =/= gay; I love it though, I love making that masculine, aggressive hot shot of a man worry about the desires of his body betraying him). However, like I said, rape is not a must needs insert, abuse is not, voyeur sex is not, and pegging is not. It's very situation specific, very character reaction and interaction specific.
I feel like in that way, context versus occurrence, we're on the same page. Thanks for he conversation! And yes, definitely will let everyone know about the book when it's on the market. At the moment, I'm kind of impatient with my volunteer editors, but I would sort of like someone to be able to go through and help me figure out where problem areas and the like are. It's a big project and I feel a little overwhelmed at times. ^^;
Mr Quixotic said:
Rudolph Quin said:
Malicious Lullaby said:
Malicious Lullaby said:
