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Finding Acceptance (Skyro & darkangel76)

Vivianne just smiled as she took a big bite out of her apple. “It’s wonderful, trust me.” And it truly was. She chewed the fruit slowly, letting the juices and taste coat her tongue before swallowing it down her throat.

The view from the oak tree that Vivianne and Matthew sat under was beautiful. She was almost able to forget the situation she was in. The fact that she’d run away from home, her life, her family… marrying a man she hated. And that she was now actually the hostage of a criminal whose crimes she still did not know, though could guess.

The slight softness in Matthew’s demeanor made it easier for Vivianne though. Made her feel better and much more comfortable. She wasn’t sure why he was changing, whether it was for her or because he figured it would only make his escape that much easier. The biggest puzzle for her, however, was that he’d decided not to use her for ransom. She wondered why. He had no ties to her, her life was of no importance to him. And she knew her family and Lord Fielding would pay a great sum for her return. Matthew would be set, probably even granted a pardon.

Vivianne wondered what Matthew was thinking. He stayed silent most of the time, every so often glancing her way when he thought she wouldn’t notice. She wondered if he was rethinking his decision to just take her like he’d initially tried to do when he first captured her. He could easily force himself upon her if he’d wanted to. But now… he wasn’t. He was just quiet.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Vivianne finally said, breaking the silence. She was staring out across the field, taking in the pretty view. But she’d noticed Matthew’s glance. She turned to face him and smiled. “May I ask you something?” she then asked. “What are you thinking? You’re so quiet most of the time. So what is that you’re thinking about?”
 
Dime stopped looing at Vivianne after a while, he felt like a helpless puppy. Unable to resist her. Still, he found little intersting in the things aroud him and while he felt that, sure, the view was pretty cool, nothing in like was beautiful. Expect her of course. He mumbled in response to her question and took another bite of the sweet apple, letting the taste settle before swallowing it down.

He restlessly looked around him, the clouds moved slowly and lazily in the sky and the sun shone down upon them, as if God has chosen a ray of light to sit on them in particular. Dime often pondered the wonders of the world, was there a God? He was one of the first men to doubt it. A God wouldn't treat him in this way, yet he had been gifted a second chance, and accompinied by Vivianne. Prehaps the was a God after all?

He twiddled the grass between his fingers and rested his head in his hands. Vivianne asked him what he was thinking after a short pause, he didn't quite know what to tell her. That he wanted to kiss her there and then on the lips and carress her and hold her? He snorted. A woman like this would never want him. That's why, for years he had always taken what he wanted. He paused before answer the question, "you." He answered, he had no idea what she'd make of this, and for the second time, worry crept amongst his strong, cold emotions.
 
Vivianne blinked. Had she heard Matthew correctly? He’d said he was thinking about her. But why? And what about her? She found herself wondering if he was indeed contemplating taking her, almost immediately it made her heart race with fear. But then, she figured if that were the case, he’d have done it by now. She then wondered if he suddenly thought it best to be rid of her. That perhaps it would be in his best interest to either kill her so that his escape would no longer be burdened by her slowness or to ask for some sort of ransom for her safe return. The money could help him start a new life and he could even maybe get a pardon, granting him true freedom. Her mind reeled at the possibilities.

A little afraid that Matthew was having second thoughts about what to do with her, Vivianne shifted her position on the ground. She moved closer to him and took his hand in hers.

“You’re thinking of me?” Vivianne whispered, though her question was a rhetorical one. “Please tell me you’re not thinking of sending me back. I know I’m a burden to you but…” her voice trailed. Pausing, she could feel the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “Please, I’d rather you just kill me.” She looked into Matthew’s eyes just then, but the look she saw perplexed her.

Vivianne felt her breath catch and she bit down on her lip. “You aren’t thinking about that. Are you?” Still holding onto Matthew’s hand, she placed her palm against his, inspecting how much larger his hand was compared to her own. She smiled and sniffled. “And what exactly then are you thinking about me, if not about that?” For some reason, she needed to know, she needed to hear it. She had no idea why, but something inside her was desperate for his answer.
 
She was playing with his hand, her small one interlaced with his large, rough hand. He saw the tears begin to fall and her pleading tone, as she cried that she didn't want to return to that dreaded place, as she called it. She looked into his big, grey eyes and was surprised when this changed her tone. She was now curious, questioning, but the worry still had not gone away completely.

He turned her hand and tightened his grip on it, he had no idea how to be loving. How to act in such a situtation. He paused and looked back down into her wide eyes, tear filled. "I will not hurt you," he said, his voice was ligher than usual, it no longer carried that vendictive tone that he had been so used to doing for years. "And I won't send you back if you do not wish to return," he finished. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to pull her close, his head resting on hers.

He made a promise not to hurt her or send her back, he would make sure this stayed true.
 
Vivianne smiled and let out a small sigh of relief at Matthew’s words. “Thank you,” she said in response to his promises. His eyes truly showed her that he meant it and the tone in his voice… it was so different. Feeling appreciative and thankful, she laced her fingers in between his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

Feeling a little daring and hoping to come to some sort of understanding with Matthew, Vivianne shifted onto her knees and smiled at him. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

“You have no idea how much hearing such a thing means to me,” Vivianne said in Matthew’s ear. “Thank you, Matthew.” She pulled away and gave him a kiss on the cheek before she sat back down on the ground once more. “So what is to happen once we reach the village?” she suddenly asked. The tone of her voice was nervous. She had no idea of life outside of court, didn’t know what to do or what to expect. She found that she was afraid to be left alone to fend for herself. And she almost felt foolish for thinking that she could successfully run away on her own without any help from anyone. She wondered if Matthew would help her if she asked.

Vivianne bit down on her lip. “Are you just going to leave me there? Alone?” she asked. It was so strange that she found herself wanting to stay in Matthew’s company. He was so frightening, so quiet. But he’d shown her mercy, had softened a little over the past few days. She thought that perhaps deep down there was something good within him. Something beautiful. Perhaps, with some more time with him, she could see that beauty… if he’d let her.
 
Matthew was taken aback when Vivianne wrapped his hands around her neck, he wanted this, he was sure of that. But it felt strange, alien, new to him. He gave her a weak smile before she leaned in and pecked him across the cheek. He didn't know how to react, his face went blank, his eyes searching for the joke Vivianne was playing on him. Someone compassionate to him? This was a new experience.

She asked the question he had been thinking for a long time what happend once they were at the village, could he simply leave her? He didn't doubt that she could simply sleep with a man and have him care for her. But she felt taht she didn't do that sort of thing. He looked at her, searching his face for whatever emotions she was displaying.

He looked into her eyes, her hand in his, "I will leave you only when you are ready," he said quietly and slowly.
 
Vivianne’s eyes widened as the words that Matthew had said to her began to process in her mind. She looked over at him, a small smile slowly creeping over her lips. “Really?” she asked him, still not believing it.

Matthew turned to look at Vivianne. She stared deeply into his eyes, searching to see if he truly meant it. From what she could tell, he did. There was a softness about his eyes. Something warm almost, inviting.

Vivianne took Matthew’s hand in hers once again. “Thank you.” Then, not know why she did it, she brought his large hand up to her lips and kissed it. Feeling embarrassed when she realized what she’d done, she let go of his hand. “I’m sorry, I…” her voice stammered and stuttered over the right words. Her cheeks turning red and the pink flush of her skin going all the way down her neck and chest, she whispered. “Thank you. I don’t want you to leave me just yet.”
 
Dime looked at her as she spoke, she was afraid, but he knew his words had comforted her. Her hands were stilled laced in his and she rose it to her lips, giving them a light kiss. He was surprised and a smile crept across his lips. Then he did the unthinkable...

He leant forward and pushed his lips to hers, withdewing quickly... "I'm sorry," he said quickly, looking away.
 
Vivianne’s eyes widened when Matthew stole a kiss from her. She hadn’t expected it, then again, his actions weren’t all that surprising. He’d wanted her from the moment he’d taken her hostage, nearly had. And forcefully. But in the end, something had held him back. Eventually, he had given her his word and he’d held true to it. Now, when he’d taken a simple kiss from her, he was actually apologizing. To Vivianne, that meant quite a lot. It showed her that his intent indeed was no longer to frighten her, to hurt her. And the way he looked away, as if ashamed. She could see that he was struggling.

Unsure of what to do or say, Vivianne took Matthew’s hand back in her own and held it up to her cheek. She gave it a kiss and leaned her face gently against his palm. She wondered if Matthew had ever been shown kindness, compassion… love.

“It was nice,” Vivianne said as she kissed Matthew’s palm once again, showing him the kindness she felt he needed so desperately to feel. She was sure that underneath everything, there was a man with a beautiful soul. It was just a matter of finding him buried beneath the blackness.
 
Matthew looked away, curling up inside himself. "No," he said, getting to his feet. He pulled away from Vivianne, not forcefully but, hard enough to make him question if he was hurting her feelings.

He picked up the bags from next to him and hoisted them over his shoulder, without speaking he began to walk in the direction of the village. He had noticed a path not far up ahead, hopefully they could soon get back the the village and he could sort his emtions once and for all. He walked of without another word to Vivianne, only occasionally glancing over his shoulder to make sure she was following.. and was safe.
 
Vivianne winced as Matthew pulled away from her. “No,” he said, his voice gruff once more.

Vivianne felt her heart race, a surge of adrenaline course through her body. She hadn’t expected Matthew to react in such a way. He’d been showing her glimpses of another side. One not so frightening. “I… I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Matthew just ignored Vivianne. He got up and hoisted the bags up onto his shoulders and began walking away from her. Fearful that he’d leave her now, she immediately got up to follow him. His pace was fast and it was giving her trouble. Keeping up was more than difficult.

Vivianne saw Matthew glance over his shoulder at her every so often. But it did little comfort her. He could see she was having problems, but he stayed at his pace anyway. Her feet were beginning to hurt since her shoes were not the sort to wear when walking for too long. Despite the pain, she refused to complain, to anger him further. Her earlier gesture of kindness did enough damage.

As they walked, Vivianne could feel that blisters had formed on her feet. They stung badly, each and every step making it worse. Her eyes teared a little from the pain, but she wouldn’t speak up. And as they pressed onward, it got harder and harder for her to hide what she was going through, to conceal her pain from Matthew. She began to limp a little, her pace slowing down bit by bit. She tried her hardest, but it was no use. She hoped that it didn’t upset Matthew as that was the last thing she wanted to do to him.
 
Different thoughts shot through the mind of Dime, then thoughts shot through the mind of Matthew. For the longest time, he had convinced himself that love didn't exsist, it was merely two people coming together to share each other's body. He never thought about sharing their souls. He walked on, looking at the ground in front of him, not really concentrating to what was going on around him. Each step was just another thought about love, life and Vivianne.

She was beginning to lag behind, where anger would have bubbled to the surface for Dime, Matthew felt pity. She was clearly in pain, he could see her face wincing with each step she took. She had been sheltered for so long, she had never walked this sort of distance before without first mounting a horse. He slowed his pace slightly, almost unvoluntarily. Dime felt that everything Matthew felt was wrong, bad, dirty somehow. Matthew felt light, he wanted nothing more than to turn around and pull her close, his lips lingering on her's. His tongue carrsessing her mouth...

Dime and Matthew argued within his head, overtime it caused him to slow, until he was hardly walking at all. Matthew was winning the fight and compassion was replacing pity as he stood and waited for Vivianne to catch up, looking into her deep eyes and nodding his head gently. "I apol.." he said slowly, the words were hard coming, "I'msorry" he said quickly, turning to face her, looking his eyes on hers. "I'm..So..Sorry," he said much slower this time.
 
Vivianne stopped walking and stared at Matthew. Unsure of what to say for fear of setting him off again, she just smiled. “I know,” she said softly. “I am too. I didn’t mean to upset you earlier.” She wondered what exactly she’d done that made him react so strongly. Perhaps it was that he wasn’t used to someone treating him kindly.

Slowly, Vivianne walked up to Matthew. His silence made her worry, so she felt the need to say more. “So please know, Matthew, that I fully accept your apology. Please, I hope you’ll accept mine.”

Matthew just looked at Vivianne, remaining ever silent. Though his eyes were soft, making her feel at ease once again. Smiling, she gave him a nod.

Vivianne took a step and winced. Her feet hurt so very badly. Her shoes were not the sort to be worn for such travel. And it didn’t help that she wasn’t used to it either. Embarrassed, she flushed a deep shade of red. “I’m holding you back,” she said as she stopped and sat down. She needed to rest for a moment. Carefully she took off her shoes. She could see the blood on her stockings, though she said nothing at the sight of it. Instead, she tried to pay it no mind and act like everything was fine.
 
Dime looked at Vivianne, surveying her carefully. She acted as though there was nothing wrong with her but Matthew could infact see the blood seeping through her stockings. She must have been in a fair bit of pain Matthew decided. But they could not stop and camp here.

Matthew estimated that the village was about two miles away; another hour and they would probably be there. Then this horrible mess could finally come to an end. He looked Vivianne up an down once more as she stood without her shoes on. She was very small compared to Matthew and he smiled at the thought of his giant body standing over hers like this. It would quite the sight for an onlookers.

"Vivianne, climb upon my back," he said finally, "I'll carry you for some way until you feel ready to walk again." He felt sorry for the girl, she was trying to keep up and in his haste to move, he had given her sweet little feet no time to recover. "We'll be there within the hour."
 
Vivianne was grateful for Matthew’s offer to carry her on his back. She knew she’d be a heavy addition to the load he was already carrying, so she appreciated the gesture all the more. It showed her that underneath his cold exterior, lingered a kindness, a compassion. She also found it endearing that he chose to show her a sort of concern for her well-being. She wondered if he’d ever shown such a thing to anyone before this moment.

“Thank you,” Vivianne said softly with a smile as she looked up into Matthew’s concerned face. Carefully, she climbed onto his back, trying to situate herself in such a way that he could still carry the bags he’d been lugging since they left the little house. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and held on as she buried her face against the back of his neck.

Vivianne was astounded at how well Matthew was able to move with the load he was carrying. She knew it couldn’t be easy, though he made it seem effortless. He had to be strong, she thought to herself. Much stronger than she realized. It amazed her and only added to the admiration she was starting to feel about him.

Suddenly, Matthew stopped. Vivianne lifted her head from his neck and whispered into his ear. “Are we there now?” she asked.
 
She got onto his back and he could feel the extra weight bearing down on him. But with little else to do for the last few months but work out, he had become a very strong man indeed. He carried her, without much trouble for some way. It just over an hour before the village suddenly rose over the hill and into site. It was only small, probably one hundred people lived there, if that. So, the chances of guards waiting there for him were slim.

Vivianne looked up suddenly, questioning Matthew to their whereabout. "Yes," he said calmly, trying to show some compassion to her, sorry for the way he had acted earlier, "we're here."

He felt her climb down to walk the remaining hundred metres on foot and he was grateful for the release of weight. "Once we are there," he paused and looked at her carefully, "we can decide how best to move forward." It was at that moment he realised his hand was in hers and he had no idea how it had come to be there. It felt natrual, like it was meant to be. She didn't seem to notice and he resisted the temptation to pull away.
 
As Vivianne and Matthew slowly walked the rest of the way toward the small village, she realized that her hand was somehow still in his. Strangely, she found it to be rather nice, comforting even. Despite all the fear he’d made her feel over the past few days, she found herself slowly starting to feel at ease around him. Especially when he showed her his kinder and more compassionate side. ‘Slowly,’ she thought to herself. ‘Slowly I will find the beautiful man that I know is buried beneath this wall of hate and anger.’

Vivianne glanced over at Matthew as they walked together hand in hand, as they finally entered the village. She wondered if he too realized that his hand was still holding hers. And if he did, what he thought about it. She felt herself blush a little as she began to think about how they must look to those who saw them pass by. They probably thought them to be lovers, running away from who knows what so that they could live the rest of their lives together in each others arms.

Suddenly, Vivianne’s skin felt hot. Again she looked over at Matthew. He was so large, so foreboding in his appearance. Yet, she found herself liking that in a strange way. It was as if two polar opposites were somehow coming together, having no choice but to succumb to the attraction that flowed between them. She then wondered what it truly would be like to be in his arms. Would he be tender? Gentle? Could he be?

Finally, they came upon a small inn located near the center of the village. Everyone stared at them and smiled at them as if they knew something. Vivianne just held onto Matthew’s hand, moving closer to his side as the people watched them.

“Are we going to stay here?” Vivianne asked. “I should very much like to rest a little.”
 
Matthew looked around him. The eyes were pinpricks on the back of his neck. These people weren't watching him like a criminal as he was so used to. They were watching his as a friend, a lover to the girl he held hands with. This very thought caused a sly smile to cross his face. He felt somehow different from the way he usually felt. He felt lighter, happier and oddly stronger, than ever before.

"Yes," he replied in his deep but smooth voice, "we'll rest here and I'll ensure you're safe before we part." He didn't want to part with her, but he knew deep down that he wasn't good enough for a woman of her status. In fact, she wasn't even a woman yet. He was sure she was still a virgin, he doubted she had had any sort of sexual experience in her life before. He nodded his head slowly, only to himself. He was sad that he would eventually have to part with this angel on earth with her beautiful eyes, angellic voice and lustful body.

"I could do with a rest also," he said, looking around the inn's main foyer of sorts for someone to serve them. "Hello?" he called into the empty room, his voice echoing off the walls. He guessed they didn't get many visitors round here.
 
Matthew looked around him. The eyes were pinpricks on the back of his neck. These people weren't watching him like a criminal as he was so used to. They were watching his as a friend, a lover to the girl he held hands with. This very thought caused a sly smile to cross his face. He felt somehow different from the way he usually felt. He felt lighter, happier and oddly stronger, than ever before.

"Yes," he replied in his deep but smooth voice, "we'll rest here and I'll ensure you're safe before we part." He didn't want to part with her, but he knew deep down that he wasn't good enough for a woman of her status. In fact, she wasn't even a woman yet. He was sure she was still a virgin, he doubted she had had any sort of sexual experience in her life before. He nodded his head slowly, only to himself. He was sad that he would eventually have to part with this angel on earth with her beautiful eyes, angellic voice and lustful body.

"I could do with a rest also," he said, looking around the inn's main foyer of sorts for someone to serve them. "Hello?" he called into the empty room, his voice echoing off the walls. He guessed they didn't get many visitors round here.
 
Vivianne smiled as she and Matthew entered the tiny inn. She was rather weary from the restless nights of sleeping out in the cold and all the traveling they’d done. She was sure that Matthew had to be as well.

“Hello?” Matthew called out. The room was empty, as if no one was around.

Suddenly, a short little man ran out to greet them.

“Ah yes, visitors, How wonderful,” the little man said with a grin. “I take it that the two of you would like to stay here at the inn?”

Vivianne and Matthew just nodded. This apparently made the little innkeeper rather happy. He clapped his hands together, his smile becoming broader.

“Wonderful!” the innkeeper shouted as he handed Matthew a key. “I’m sure you’ll find your room to be quite satisfactory. But, if there are any problems, please do not hesitated to talk with me. My name is Charles Worthington and I own the establishment.”

Vivianne looked over at Matthew and smiled. “I guess we can go to our room then. A rest sounds wonderful. I think we both could use one.”

Matthew just nodded as he led the way to their room. Vivianne wondered what it would be like to share such a small space with the man. She hoped that she wouldn’t bother him too terribly much. As they walked away from the innkeeper, she could feel his eyes staring after them. She was fairly certain of what he thought and she found that she really didn’t mind that at all. Again, she looked up at Matthew, her cheeks reddening as she thought on what it would be like to be held by him.
 
When the short man appeared, Matthew was first convinced it must be a leprocorn. But after a few seconds he came to realise it was just infact, a really short man. He could be no taller than 5' but was a nice enough chap. Even if his cheery attitude was not one that Matthew liked. He was too loud and too excited at everything for his liking. A few months ago, he probably would have knock him out by this point and just robbed the place, but being in the presence of a lady, one that he actually respected, he felt it best not to do such a vulgar act.

Instead, he just snorted and followed the little man up to their room. It was a small affair with a single double bed in the middle and a small cabinet with what appeared to be some alcohol in it. This was chained up though and could only be accessed for an extra few Matthew reckoned. He lay the bags down by the door and spoke to the little man, "how much is it going to cost me?" he said with a grunt, the little man replied with a response he had not expected. "As much as you can afford kind sir." King sir? Who did he think Matthew was? None the less, Matthew pulled a silver plated bowl from his bag of loot and handed it to the small man. "Will this do?"

After the man had left, bowl in hand, Matthew sat on the bed while Vivianne looked around the room. "Vivianne," he said it slowly, almost chruning the words before he spoke them, "Please sit with me." He patted the bed next to him and gave a soft smile.
 
Vivianne glanced around the room. It was small, just as she suspected it would be. But it seemed nice enough, very clean, very cozy. Matthew sat on the single double bed that was in the room. She smiled as she watched him take in his surroundings. He was so large while everything around him seemed small. He looked out of place, but she found it to be rather sweet.

“Vivianne,” Matthew suddenly said, breaking Vivianne’s thoughts. “Please sit with me.” He patted the bed and gave her a smile.

Vivianne could feel her heart racing. She’d never shared her room with anyone before, let alone a man. And the fact that there was a single double bed made her wonder as to what the sleeping arrangements would be. A part of her wanted to share the bed with Matthew, to see what it was like to be in his arms. Another part was terrified of the unknown, so very unsure.

Slowly, Vivianne walked over to the bed and sat down next to Matthew. She gave him a smile and her cheeks reddened a little. She could feel the warmth radiating off his body as she sat close to him. It was nice. She liked the way it felt to be next to him and again wondered what it would be like for him to touch her tenderly. If he was even capable of such a thing. Her heart hoped so, had seen glimpses of the man she felt sure was there deep inside. But she still just didn’t know.

“Yes?” Vivianne asked, her voice soft, her skin flushed a deep shade of pink.
 
Matthew allowed his hand to find Vivianne's as she gently sat herself beside him. "I've enjoyed your company.." he paused, "and I'm a bad person." He was saying useless things, things that meant nothing. Obvious things. "But I don't want you to leave me," the bombshell had been dropped. He looked into her eyes for a long second, before leaning in in an attempt to kiss her tenderly.

His eyes were different from ever before. His look was light, loving, caring. They said, "I'm sorry, forgive me, I have done wrong," in hundred different languages.
 
Vivianne sat still as Matthew spoke, though she could feel her heart begin to race as he took her hand within his own. His hand was massive compared to her delicate one. He could crush every bone if he’d wanted to. But he didn’t. Instead, he held it tenderly and she could feel the warmth of his skin on her own.

“I’ve enjoyed your company,” Matthew said, pausing a moment. “And I’m a bad person.”

Vivianne felt her heart melt at Matthew’s words. She could see how difficult it was for him to say such things about himself out loud. To her. There was a look in his eyes, a way about his face.

“But I don’t want you to leave me,” Matthew then added.

Vivianne felt her violet eyes go wide, but not out of fear or shock. It was something else, something she couldn’t explain. She looked deeply into Matthew’s eyes. They were so sincere. And his voice had lost all the gruffness and harshness it had shown her over the past few days.

Just then, Matthew leaned closer to Vivianne. At first, she wasn’t sure what he was doing. Then, she felt her skin get hot, her cheeks tinge pink. He wanted to kiss her. But not like he did those few days ago. No. It was different now. There was something tender about his mannerisms, something almost loving.

As Matthew leaned closer, Vivianne remained unmoved. When his lips touched hers ever so gently, she focused on how they felt. They were softer than she’d expected and they caressed hers as if she were made of fragile porcelain. Something to be cherished.

Vivianne reached her free hand up and touched Matthew’s cheek as he gently kissed her. When he pulled away she smiled at him. “I won’t leave you, Matthew,” she said. “Don’t you leave me.”
 
Matthew only nodded in response to her words as the tender kiss still lingered on his lips. He had never been like this with a woman before, but he liked it. Liked it far more than when he had forced girls to do his bidding.

He leaned forward again, slowly allowing Vivianne to fall back so she lay back on the bed. Matthew carressed her face as he carefully placed another kiss on her tender lips leaning over her. "I won't leave you." He said quietly, as he lost himself in her lips and eyes.

He felt more alive at that moment, than ever before in his life.
 
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