Alessandra could feel his hands exploring the fabric of her satin gown, both gentle and delicate as they began to undo the buttons that encased her natural form. The first was fast to be undone, but the rest felt as though they were taking an eternity to be unfastened. For those brief moments she was almost thankful. The small delay was enough to calm some of the anxiety the ordeal had brought upon her, though it was starting to become clearer to her that facing him completely stripped of her clothing would be inevitable and that at some point she would have to overcome this fear. She wondered if he was as nervous as she was; she could hear her heart beating violently in her ears, the thuds increasing in ferocity as her dress became looser over her. Her breaths were deep and soft as she felt his lips against the newly revealed flesh that was being exposed to him, and her eyes drifted closed as she savored the moment. All of her senses were heightened, and she could feel the small hairs on the back of her spine stand as he ran his fingers along her form. Then finally, as the last button was undone, his fingers pushed the dress off of his shoulders.
In that instant, a blush came over her cheeks, her neck and she bit down on her lip as she felt the skin there become increasingly warm. The coolness of his breath, brushing against her neck alleviated some of this discomfort, sending another shudder down her spine. She gave him a small nod of understanding, though it was more for the sake of reassuring herself that only when she was ready would she turn around. Delicately, she pulled her long raven hair to one side, brushing all the strands with it. She hadn’t known why she had done this. Perhaps it was to cause a delay, to allot more time before she had to face the God forsaken moment she had been dreading since he had originally asked her to serve as his muse. She was no model; she reminded herself every time she had stepped into his studio, and yet, he insisted that this had not mattered. It had been her natural beauty that had caught his eye, her innocence and maybe even her own sense of naivety.
At that very moment she wished she was one of those wenches, one with experience in this art, in lending their bodies without shame for the sake of humanity. Why couldn’t that be her? If given the chance she would trade her life of privilege, her collection of fine dresses and the endless parties that always seemed to harbor the same guests. She would trade it all for the ability to stand before him without a single feeling of shame or though her actions were in any way sinful, and all because of whom she was. It did not matter to her if she was doing this for the church or for God for that matter because she was still committing a thousand sins along with her purpose. Her soul was eternally damned, she could feel it, and not even God could save her from what she was about to do be no man should ever see a woman in this form out of wedlock, not even her betrothed; she might as well commit the unspeakable sin because if anyone discovered her there, they would naturally come to the conclusion that she already had.
For the long minute she stood there, she thought about saving herself; there was still time. She could easily gather herself into her dress and run, never to see him again for as long as she lived. She could save her soul from hell and continue to be the good devout Catholic her parents raised her to be, the girl of nobility and grace that deemed worthy in any suitor’s eyes. The opportunity was still there, though she knew she wouldn’t have much time. After she paused for several long moments, Alessandra came to the simple conclusion as to why she had agreed to go through with his request—because she, above all else, loved him and if this was the only connection she would ever have to him, then her soul was worth sacrificing.
Alessandra exhaled a shaky breath, her small hands trembling at her sides and her heart, beating faster than ever, thudding away at her chest. These thoughts were all the encouragement she had needed and as she had promised herself, when she was ready, she pivoted her foot so she was now standing before him in her bare, natural form.