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100 Year War (Farcry/Risi

"You were Ivan, why would I think you were a woman?" Caval said in his defense with a slight grin and a shrug. "Perhaps something was wrong with ... it doesn't matter. You were an odd man but yes, I didn't know. I, wish I had."

The veteran was at wits end over this peculiar situation. It just hardly made sense. Finally he did step up closer to her. "Ivy, you are going to have to remain Ivan for the rest of the men. Some, many will not understand and would not be willing to fight with a girl. I am sorry, but... you can have my tent from now on, so that you will not need to share. I'll try to arrange so that you can bathe in private, though that explains why you were so far from Leveque's keep that night." Caval began thinking about the practical needs and decisions of having a woman in the military. "We will make sure your family gets what it needs, do not worry about them."

Then he looked to her with concern. "But what do you need. ..." He could not bring himself to mention what had just happened to her. Of course only she knew what it was that transpired, he only came in after she had been gone for hours. Who knows what all they had done, what she experienced. His face was etched with his worry for her. "Ivy... I am sorry we could not get there sooner. We could not move freely during the day. I'm sorry."
 
"Stay as Ivan?" she incredulously asked. A bit of her broke inside as he said this, she had come so far, didn't she deserve to be herself, despite her gender? She understood that some wouldn't fight beside her and they needed all the help they could get, but she still had to put up her charade. They had all faught beside her before, when she was pretending to be a man, she couldn't understand how they couldn't now.

Mentioning her needs, Ivy simply shook her head. The only thing she needed was time to heal, something she couldn't really have in the wartime situation. "There's nothing you did wrong. You saved me, even when I thought no one was coming." She shrugged and turned her face towards the horses, almost embaressed at her problems. Though she was attempting to regain her status as an equal, the pain was a reminder that she was not.

"We should head back," she said suddenly, wanting to aviod talking about the events of the earlier day. She stood, wavering slightly with her footing, then once she regained her composure, she headed to the stolen mare.
 
She made it known she was upset having to remain posing as Ivan, but it wasn't just the other soldiers, the commanders, the nobility wouldn't allow her to fight. Yes, she had proven herself once but it would take more for her to be accepted for who she was. Caval felt dreadful for Ivy but still he felt there was a gulf between him and her which he was unsure how to overcome.

As she stumbled though Caval finally reached out to steady her. It was an automatic response yet it felt right to finally comfort her. Not only was it something he imagined that she needed, it was something he needed to do as well. Caval held her up for a moment, not letting go for perhaps a bit longer than he truly needed to. Looking at the young woman he said, "I am still sorry." In fact a number of issues past and present were hitting him as he helped the former brother in arms towards her horse. This time he'd be sure to help her get on the horse. Subconsciously this had something to do with being able to touch her shapely legs as she mounted the mare to return to camp.

Finally he returned to his own stolen horse and mounted up. "We should move in a zig-zag pattern, Ivy." He tried out saying her name again. "Perhaps I can talk to the commanders and see if they would lift their restriction on allowing women to serve." Uncertain why she wanted to serve as a woman outside of maybe comfort issues he could see that it was an issue still. Turning his horse he spurred it into action starting their way back to the French military bastion.
 
Ivy moved into action with her horse, falling behind Caval. He was going to help her, or at least said he would, and that made her a little less wary. Though the ride back to the base alotted her time to think of the time spent talking with him. She couldn't help but wonder if he always was such a gentleman or if it was because she was hurt. She was sure he had a kind nature, but she didn't know the depth of it within his personallity. The pondering continued as she kicked herself in the ass, mentally, for stumbling. It had made her look weak, and that wasn't something she needed to portray at the time being. Even if she was.

Though, Caval's touches and comfort had made her feel better. And had she of not been so weak, she mighn't have recieved them. Even if he had lingered like a man who hadn't touched a woman in a while, she understood and somewhat enjoied the new attention. Then next thought that jumped to the front of her brain was how she was going to appear as a man in camp once again, considering she had left everything but what she was currently wearing and her sword in the British cell block. Including the bandages that had made her manly.


They were soon approching upon the bastion when Ivy sided him. "I don't have the bandages," she motioned to her stomach and then made the outline of a hourglass, unsure if he knew what they were for. She shrugged slightly and began to slow her horse down to a trot so they could draw up an idea before they reached the base.
 
Caval thought a lot about the young woman riding behind him. She was headstrong, passionate and an honest person. Yes she had lied but those were for her family. Still he was unsure how to help her or how she would react to him attempting to help her. Yet he would need to try.

When she moved up alongside him to discuss her lack of bandages he couldn't help but smile and chuckle just a little at the hourglass shape of hers that she displayed with her hand motion. She most certainly had such a figure. "Well, we will tell the guards I found a refugee while out scouting and then once inside the town we will find a house and see what we can do." Most of the houses were empty now, what civilians had remained behind most of them had left. The town was more of a military prison for those who remained, waiting to fight, to die. The British had proven a point with their surprise attack.

Caval decided to prove the point by spurring his horse forward and when the guards yelled at him, he quickly slowed down. "I found a refugee while scouting. She is wounded and needs medical attention. Besides that all is clear." His voice was loud and clear. In the stillness of night it rang out through the darkness. Turning he then motioned toward Ivy. "Come along, no one here will hurt you, here." How he wished that was true but it wasn't. This town, these forces had betrayed her once before allowing her to be taken prisoner and when the British came again it was doubtful the French would survive without some great planning.
 
She played wounded well, as she didn't have to pretend much. The guards looked at her, believing what Caval had said without question, but still scrutinizing her as she was a woman. Ivy had not missed that aspect of being female; passing a group of men and watching as they eyed her, trying not to imagine what they wanted of her.

Some how she believed him when he said she would be safe here, even in her current state of distrust for everything. She followed Caval as he wove his way through the town, unsure of where he was going to find what she needed, or even what they would go through after that with the allocation or rejection of the nobels allowing her to fight. They soon happened upon a deserted house, not very hard to find in the town, but this one was stocked.


Ivy waited for him to dismount, feeling she needed to play the part of a wounded woman, and awaited his aid to help her dismount. She did get some enjoyment from his touch and help, his strong arms helping to lift her from the horse, but she told herself she was just acting and that was the only reason for it. Ivy did appreciate his gentleness with her, now that she was sure it wasn't out of pity.
 
The world was not unlike how it was years ago, before the plague when the war was on then. When he first joined the military. Still, things were new then though it disturbed him how quickly it all became common place, much as it is now. Already the world had returned to the hell it was just a few years prior. Too many memories were returning of how the life once was and was again.

Helping the young woman down allowed him that brief opportunity to hold her again. It was pleasant yet he could only imagine that the attention of a man was not very welcome right now. Once she was down he even moved to open the door for her, helping keep up the image of her as the wounded woman. In fact he couldn't help but wonder how much was an act.

Once inside Caval helped her find some materials, some extra clothing. Thankfully this house had not yet been looted like so many others. Still it felt odd shuffling through another persons things and yet it had to be done for Ivy, for her family. "Here, please see what you can do with this." After handing off the items he had found he made his way back towards the front of the house, to stare out the front window, to give Ivy her privacy.

After a moment he said softly, hardly heard over the wind outside. "I have a daughter you know." No one knew. Caval never spoke of himself. "She is a wee thing. Lives with my sister." The life story simply came out of the void, the silence between him and Ivy. Perhaps he just thought that he knew something so personal about her, that he had witnessed soemthing he shouldn't have that had to share something of himself.
 
The comment startled her as he looked away from her, which she appreciated. But she understood what the knowledge was for, that he had her secret and now he was giving her an exchange. She didn't want to convey her surprise though, she didn't feel the need to make him feel bad. "What's her name?" she asked quietly, pulling off her shirt in the process, then beginning to wrap the cloth around her.

As she finished she pulled her hair from the ponytail and shook it out. She hoped her bruises would make her look manlier than before, rather than more feminine. She returned to his side when she finished, staying silent as she walked through the house. She wasn't sure how else to reply to that news, "Thanks. For rescuing me, helping my siblings, keeping me safe," she paused, "And telling me that."

Ivy wasn't sure how to go about suddenly appearing as Ivan when Caval had already brought in a wounded woman. She stayed silent, not wanting to bother him.
 
"Marie." Caval answered when asked about his daughters name. He remained with his back turned, not about to take advantage of her or the situation. "She's five. A happy young thing. My sister, her family is very good." It was clearly difficult for him to talk about his daughter and he made no mention of the mother. While he hid the pain of not living with his daughter the tension in his voice, the stiffness in his body made it all much too evident.

When Ivy spoke again he smiled slightly, he was pleased that he had been able to do this little bit for her. Yet being reminded of his child, of his secret from the world made him tense. "I could not allow the British to hold one of my soldiers. Really you should thank a young boy who told me about your abduction." Ruffling his hair Caval tried to tried to scrub away the stress of the day, the memories.

"Let's get back to the camp. Dawn is only just now breaking, very few people should be around. You will need some rest." Finally he turned towards the young woman. "Is there anything else you need?" There was such conflict with him and he couldn't figure out how to interact with Ivy.
 
She noted the stance of pain and defensiveness and decided not to make anymore conversation of the subject. She felt bad though, she knew what it was like to miss family but knew it wasn't anything compared to missing a child. Ivy continplated telling him more about her, rather than Ivan's, background but she figured it would only make his worry for her worse. And as if on cue, he asked yet again if she needed anything. But all she wanted was to get a good nights rest.

"I just want to sleep really," she paused, "But I'm not sure I'll be able to." The last part was said quietly, as if she didn't really want to admit it to herself, let alone him. She was unsure of how he could help, but she also knew that he could help her some of the worry would fade from his eyes. Or atleast she hoped so.

She didn't want to be a bother though, and half of her felt like this but the other half knew the day would haunt her far past the night in to her dreams. Ivy knew she had been strong outwardly but inside she had been a scared girl. And now, it was all beginning to hit. And had she of not been focusing on the bad, the plus of having a handsome, strong man to watch over her as she slept would have been a big plus, subconciously.
 
Caval led her silently to her tent. Due to casualties it was not hard to find her a tent for just herself. "Please, Iv-... Ivan, you need some sleep. I can not imagine what happened to you yesterday but you need to rest." Then he stiffened and in his official capacity declared, "You are assigned to the night watch." He saluted the woman hiding as a soldier. Quietly he stood there looking at her. Secretly he still wanted to give her a hug but there was no way to do that with the other soldiers getting up, having breakfast, going to the latrine, in general getting ready for the day.

"I must go check in and then will be getting sleep myself." Caval knew his day would be made up now of short naps broken up by discussions with commanders, helping the average soldier and more. It was in fact going to be a busy day for him and the idea of women in the military was probably not going to go over well. In fact he was dubious how convincing he could have been considering how exhausted he was at this point.
 
After saluting back she let her hand fall on his forearm and gave it a small squeeze. "I'm sure that you need some sleep just as much as I." Ivy attempted a slight smile and then turned to get into her tent. Last time she 'went to sleep' it had been because she was knocked unconscious, and the time before that she had awoken to a battle. Needless to say she was wary of what would happen as she slept.

Though they were like the men that had captured her, male and soldiers, she trusted them for some reason to protect her. Especially with Caval in that mix.

Caval. Her thoughts turned to him. It was hard to have him be the only one to know she was a woman. It's not that she didn't trust him, it's that she might of been attracted to him. However, before she could explore those thoughts further her mind shut down and she fell into a deep slumber.
 
The touch on his arm meant a lot. It was one of his soldiers, Ivy reassuring him, affirming that he had done the right thing that she knew what he had done, it was a simple act and yet it was a reaffirmation of who he was and why he does the things he does. As a military commander it is rare to hear a 'thank you' but he saw that and more in that moment. Caval answered it with a gentle smile and an inclination of the head. While it was true that he was exhausted since he had not slept since the attack the morning before and that he had been on high alert or in combat pretty much from that point until now the north frenchman still had things to do.

Going off he found his sergeants to find out what had transpired while he was away. The reports were mundane and yet he could not help but find everything quite important due to the nearby enemies. Still he dealt with each issue and emergency in turn before putting in a request or two himself before he finally wandered back to his tent to go get some rest. He was exhausted but he wondered about the young woman who he had only recently saved. Was there any hope of getting to know Ivy any better considering all that had transpired. Probably she currently hated men and lacked confidence in her fellow soldiers but then there was the way she touched him,

After a quick sleep he went off to discuss with the commanders the idea that women could serve in the military. The idea was met with no small amount of derision and mockery but in time he was able to get them to agree to the possibility of an all female archery unit. It wasn't what he wanted at all but it was a start, possibly. Would he be able to find enough women to create such a unit and would Ivy want to do such? Did he really want to be stuck with archers. Ugh.

Another quick nap and then he made his way over to Ivan's table after grabbing some food. It wasn't exciting but it was food. Knocking lightly on one of the support poles for the tent he asked, "Ivan, wake up. I brought you some food. Care to talk?"
 
She was back in the room. The deep dark cell. The British man was creepier and pushier now, and Ivy was unable to move, just due to fear. He was touching her now, molesting her skin. It made her sick to her stomach but within her head, she could do nothing but stand there and accept it. The pain was back, but it was a searing burning pain now, exaggerated by the dream state she was in. He was tying her to the chair once again, having his soldiers hold her down. Muted whimpers could be heard only to the slight vicinity of around her tent, but the knock woke her with a start.

She sat up straight from her bed roll, then turned to Caval's voice. Her body was shaking and she felt inhibited by fear, but she let out a very soft, "Yeah." Her tone and voice weren't that strong, conveying something had happened as she slept. Tears rolled down her cheeks slowly, but she held back her sobs. Once again she had folded in on herself but as Caval entered she moved so he could sit beside her in what little room they had. Angrily wiping the tears from her eyes and face she looked to him for assistance, though for what she was unsure of.
 
The sound of her voice, the weakness within her caused concern to increase in him. With a furrowed brow he entered the tent. For a moment there was an uncomfortable silence, unsure what was going on. Seeing her cry his heart sank. Caval put down the two plates of food off to the side, clearly the food wasn't what was important at this time. Letting out a quiet sigh he turned towards Ivy. "Please, it's okay." Gently he reached over and as soft as he could be with his rough hands he brushed away one of her tears. "Did something happen?" Caval couldn't believe this was happening to her.

Again he felt an urge to hold her, comfort her but he still wasn't sure if such was even remotely acceptable. "You don't need to cry, it will be okay." Finally he couldn't resist and reached over to put an arm around her shoulders, though he made no move to pull her close to him. He was not going to force anything especially with her being so fragile.
 
She leaned into his hand as he wiped her tears away, almost using it as a support, momentarily, for her head. With a sniffle she shook her head, "It was only a dream, but it was worse than what actually happened." His arm slipped along her shoulders and Ivy became greatful for the touch. Even the slightest word from Caval made her feel safer, he was the one who had come to her rescue, and his caring nature toward her made her feel a bit safer with each passing moment.

She thought about folding into his chest, reaching deeper for more comfort, but she was afriad of toeing the line and accidently pushing him away. Ivy wondered if he knew what had gone on in the cell, but then she realized there was no way he could have known, and now he was pretty blind to what she was undergoing mentally. An additional tear ran down her cheek, "First he started out by calling me a French whore, asking how our army could let me fight along side you. Then, he asked me of the size of the army and I couldn't tell him, so he slapped me. I kicked him in the shins and he slapped me, pulling my hair, then called in his men to put me on the contraption that was in the corner. Then they all just watched me being violated as they told me what a whore I was. Then, right before you came, the to soldiers were telling me what they were going to do to me. 'Fuck me and slit my throat'. Then you arrived." She wasn't very detailed, but she wanted to avoid thinking about it as much as possible but still informing him to the events.

She took a deep breath and looked into Caval's eyes, then found that over the course of her telling him what had happened she had wandered into his arms, tightly against him now. She was content, as he didn't seem to mind and didn't look violated or shut down. Her eyes had yet to stop watering, especially after telling him. But she continued, "In my dream, it was worse. His fingers trailed all over my skin and the pain was worse than anything I had ever felt before," she shook her head, as if trying to shake the dream from her head all together. Her body was shivering, either from cold or fear, but she knew he could feel it and tried to suppress it, but was unsuccessful.

Thinking of happy things could make her feel better, right? She hoped so as she ran through good memories with the whole family, then the ones with her comrads here in camp. Then her mind found its way, once again, to Caval. Pushing the thoughts away, telling herself it was because she was one of his soldiers and she needed help that he protected her and cared for her as he had. His large hands, able to cradle her face in one palm, his strength, the capablility to lead thousands of men, his gentleness with her... the list continued. As she thought of those things, the tears began to fall less often and soon not at all, aided by not only the thoughts, but Caval himself.
 
The feel of the young woman against his hand, the ability to comfort her warmed his heart. It was in part that that she was amongst other things a soldier under his command. She was someone who needed guidance and protection. Yet there was more, as well the warmth of a woman's skin against his palm gave him a moment to feel like a man, to experience being a human connecting physically with another one.

It had been a long time since he'd been physical with a woman, too long, still she was a recent victim and one of his soldiers. Still he was curious about what had transpired as he decided that it was the only issue which could have caused her to cry like this. Still he didn't expect it to explain what had happened. It was... he could not believe it.

In some ways he had imagined worse, that she had been raped by one or more of those British dogs and that weird chair was certainly something else that could not be natural. Caval could not think of what sitting on that thing must have done to Ivy. That they called her such hateful names to, threatened to kill her, it put in him a burning desire to return back to the English camp and burn it all down, to gut those vile soldiers. Yet all he could do now was encircle Ivy within his arms, to let her know she was safe for now and hope that she would not associate him with those enemy soldiers.

That her dream was worse, coming closer to the events he imagined had happened was distressing. Quietly he shook his head, feeling awful for the young woman. Again he found himself gritting his teeth desiring to cause harm to those bastards. How could people do this? He'd seen men, even his men rape after finding victory in an enemy town but capturing and torturing like Ivy described was something else. It was inhuman.

"I will not let that happen, Ivy. I am sorry it took me so long..." He repeated his apology from before but what could he say. There had to be some way for him to take away the pain or at least help her feel secure. Lightly he bit his lower lip then added, "I, don't know what to do for you. I should have the answers but I don't. Just let me know if I ... can help... how..."
 
Placing a finger over his lips, she shushed him sufficiently. "I am just glad you arrived. And for that I am in debt to you, not the other way around." The guilt that was housed in his eyes bothered her. It wasn't his fault that the disgusting men happened to grab her and did what they did. "And I think the only thing I need right now is just some kind attention. Someone to hold me when I get like this," a lingering sniffle inturrpted her, "And perhaps someone to watch over me when I sleep. I don't care who, but I don't want to be stuck in that night terror more then I have to. I just need someone to wake me when I get restless." She didn't want him to feel like he was stuck with her, so she used 'someone' rather than 'you'.

Ivy had moved on from her crying stage of acceptance, and on to the coping. And though she was less experienced and younger than Caval, it was almost like they were caring for each other in an odd way. His guilt kept him close to her, she thought, and her pain and fear kept her close to him, each attempting to comfort the other in a cycle. She reached out shakily for the slice of bread on one of the plates, but made sure to stay in contact with him as she did, she pulled the crust off and ate it slowly. "I don't expect you to have the answers either," she added, watching his body language closely, "I don't expect anything from you. But I'm glad you're here."
 
Caval's brow and lips twitched as he was shushed by a finger. He couldn't think when was the last time that happened to him. No... he could and the memory darkened his soul. The new somber thought was hidden behind his already thick veil of concern for the woman Ivy, his soldier Ivan who had such atrocities committed upon her. Silently he bit the inside of his cheek as he listened to her requests and in time he did nod, understanding that this is what she needed. Gently he kept his arms about her, the very act of sniffling was like being stabbed by a knife that penetrated him in reminding him of how he had failed. If even he had noticed Ivy was a woman she could have been dismissed from the military and none of this would have ever transpired.

Finally he spoke after swallowing and wetting his lips as his mouth had gone dry, "I will do this, though, I can not hold you in front of the other troops." His eyes looked deep into her own. "You are my responsibility and it would be my honor to do this for you." Again he failed to mention that along with the honor came a hope that in time she might see him as a man who had growing feelings for her and not just as a commander or fellow soldier as she currently did. He was relieved, happy even to see her eat yet noticed how timidity which was unsurprising. "Though we may have to move into one of the abandoned houses so that I can help watch over you when you sleep, m'lady." Yes she was one of his soldiers and he was not going to take that away but he could also not take away her gender. Since rescuing Ivy his muscles had remained tense and his movements lacked the fluidity seen when he is in combat or just during the care free weeks of training which seem much further than the half week ago that they were.
 
Her face softend, close to a smile, "I know you can't hold me infront of them." A quite laught bubbled from her lips at the thought, she shook her head, "Of course not." She stretched against him, pressing her arms upward and yawning. It was not a move to have him let go, but it could have easily been taken that way. He didn't let go though, he held her close and kept up his gentle demeanor. With a sigh she sunk back into his arms, placing her head comfortably on his chest now, closing her eyes for just a moment. The British Commander flashed on the inside of her eyelids, making her open her eyes quickly, but she didn't inform Caval of this, knowing how guilty he felt for it already.

A few silent moments passed, pensive moments for each to be in their own thoughts. But Ivy, once again, broke the silence. "A home then?" she asked, attempting to lighten the somber mood. "We'll have to make sure that it is empty and close enough to the middle of the camp, but far enough away for intruding eyes." She rolled her eyes at herself, Ivy had no idea what she was talking about, but she just wanted to let him see that she wasn't all tears and fear. That she was capable of other emotions, happy ones.

After a bit longer within the tent and finishing the food Caval had brought, they left the tent to wander through the town in search of a place to inhabit. Some how Ivy had come back across the small place they had found the make-shift bandages for her. Besides being in a pretty good location, it had nessities which they could utilize, a kitchen, and a bed. Ivy couldn't with hold the excitement that had creeped upon her face. Knowing Caval would be looking out for her let the worry of recapture dull into the background.

She bounced about hapily, or so it seemed, through the house. Though she felt safe, Ivy made sure to turn her happiness up a bit higher, in hopes that it would infect Caval a bit. And though the previous day lingered in the back of her mind, she attempted to push it away. To forget about it and focus on the new. Focus on the future. Focus on that day.

Focus on Caval. She tilted her head at him, "Did you get any sleep after you left at dawn? And do you need to go and do your commander duties? If not, I think you should get some more sleep." She touched fingertip to his cheek, under his eye, carefully. Her smooth skin pointing out the dark bags under his eyes. "Just go relax. I'll keep watch as Ivan, and if anyone needs you I'll wake you." She tried a pursasive smile with him, hoping he already aggreed with what she was saying and she wouldn't have to guilt trip him into slumber.
 
While Caval wasn't trying to be funny he was pleased that he had caused Ivy to laugh. That she could laugh and enjoy a moment even after waking up from such a nightmare put him slightly at ease. As she then stretched her body and while part of him reminded him that the decent thing to do would be take the hint and let go of her the rest of him would not consider that action for a moment and held onto her. When she leaned into him, resting upon his chest he considered resting his cheek upon her head and just holding her there, showing her some intimacy within that simple hug, yet he knew he had already well overstepped the boundaries of officer and a female soldier, even if there were no rules for such yet.

The idea of looking for a house was strong and made Caval smile. After all some of the other commanders had requisitioned some of the houses, and a subset of those had taken female companions from the towns population to keep them company. So if Caval took a house and had a soldier stay with him, it would look like favoritism and that would be odd. Still the occupation of this town probably wouldn't last much longer as the French were already looking for places to fall back to. A disgraceful yet necessary action. "I don't want the other men to think I am doing this out of favoritism, but they will understand for a while since you were captured and all..." He couldn't bring himself to say it.

As they ate Caval finally brought up the other topic, yet something else he didn't really want to discuss, "The other commanders decided to try having women in the military." He decided to start with the good news. "But only as a separate unit of archers and at least twenty would have to be found before starting. They said archers since that way they can be behind the lines, as they are worried how the male soldiers would act when they see women die." Of course being a veteran of many battles Caval had seen how women react to men dying when they rush onto a battlefield after it is done, or yesterday when the fighting happened in town and some came out swinging makeshift weapons to try and defend the menfolk of the town and army. Honestly he wasn't sure there was a difference to how civilians react but the question was about trained soldiers. As if any of these soldiers were truly trained and ready for what they were doing.

He was glad to go looking for a house and it had already struck him that given the criteria Ivy had listed that the one they had used just earlier that day would be acceptable. Still they looked at a few others until finding themselves back at that same house. Seeing her drop the Ivan act and instead bounce around with exuberance made Caval chuckle. Of course she was playing up her reaction to ease his concerns and he tried to do the same with his warm smile. If he allowed himself to be honest, the idea of find a home with Ivy, while not dressed as her deceased brother had an appeal that made his heart ache. But such thoughts could not be afforded at a time and place like this.

"I have slept." Caval tried to reassure her. Sure it had been only a few hours here and there, nothing substantial or all that he needed given the constant activity of the day before but his statement was true even so. He looked into her eyes as she touched his skin. "I do have a lot to do and Ivan has guard duty in two hours." Having her so close, attempting to take care of him, something no one has done in too many years to count, knowing what he did about her and having then shared something private of his, Caval's heart pounded a deafening beat within his chest. "I ... should go." A reassuring smile went hand in hand with his statement not that either of them were as strong as he usually was.
 
The idea that she could possibly be within the ranks of the men and and get to be herself Ivy clung to very quickly and was part of the reason for her happiness. She had yet to ponder that she would have to find other women willing to be with her, then possibly have to share Caval with them. Or even worse, she would not get to fight beside him, she would only stand behind the lines and fire, and though that would do wonders for her guilt, what would she do if something happened to him? These thoughts would appear later when she began her shift as a guard.

His smile seemed to put himself at ease, but there looked to be so many things going on in his mind that he couldn't rest. Ivy shook her head at his statement, placing her hands on her hips and herself in front of the door, "You haven't slept enough. Sleep for two hours and then we'll both leave when I have to go for guard duties?" It ended in a question, but for Ivy it was not one. She would not have him awake and filled with worry for her. Then, her light bubble of happiness was burst, telling her he needed to go. Ivy faded back, dropping her arms, her smile no longer present. It was a reminder that she had no right to tell him what to do. It was the other way around.

She cared too much, that was all. She had gotten her place mixed up after he held her and agreed to protect her within the confines of a house. A house, not a home. She had been wrong, confused maybe, with his kindness. Something she hadn't seen in awhile, so it was logical. Beginning to retreat into the bedroom, the only room with a door, she just said, "Um, okay." And with that she turned and walked away, closing the door behind her. She didn't cry or pout, just began to look throught the boubles and items within the room; hoping for something that was useful.
 
Caval didn't want to leave her, there was nothing else he'd rather do than to stay there with her and it was with slow begrudging steps that he finally left the house. Once outside he stopped and sighed. He'd seen how Ivy had moved towards the bedroom and closed the door. The message was clear, she was upset with him and while he thought he knew the reason there was always the possibility that it was worse.

War made a pessimist out of everyone who actually had to deal with combat. It was only king's and courtly officials who could retain all their optimism about war. Caval was naturally a glass half-empty sort of person anyways but war had too many variables of what could go wrong.

Was romance any different?

What foolish thinking that was, that he could find romance in war or that Ivy's reactions were anything more than being thankful for the person who helped rescue her. Caval tried to expunge the thoughts from his head. So he went about his work, checking on soldiers, meetings, further drills. It was his duty and one he took seriously. Even so after a few hours had passed, observant people might have noticed that Caval stayed up too late and more often than other patrols would swing by where Ivan was stationed to make sure everything was fine. Since he was on guard duty with three other men the commander was quite business like but he did ask for Ivan to be ready to report about the commanders decision on a new unit structure when his shift was done.

After a few hours though Caval stopped dropping by as the late hour and exhaustion took it's toll. He returned to the house and while the bed in the bedroom looked inviting he could not deny Ivy that comfort, so pulling in his bedroll and blankets he set up an area to sleep in the common room in the front of the house. He did start a small fire to provide a little warmth to the small abode. Again he found his thoughts drifting towards those of Ivy before sleep took hold.
 
After sulking for a few hours, she reported to her post. There were a few other men with her, but she said nothing to them as they talked among themselves. She wasn't in the mood anymore, not for soldiers talking of the women they had or wanted to. It began to make her think they were all alike, men, and she hated it.

Caval was on her mind, thinking of the possiblities with the archery unit. Though, did she want to let other women feel the guilt of war? Even as she performed the acts of a soldier, she knew that she still thought women stayed at home. It was a step in the right direction though, and she knew better not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or a rescue, she retorted internally. And that was when Caval appeared, checking up on everything, as usual. After a few times, he finally had thought of a reason to talk to her specifically. The archery unit. She gave him a distant "Yes, Sir," and he had left, and not returned after that.

When her shift was over, Ivy was some what awake. She had gotten a full dose of sleep earlier that day, bad dream or not, and the time she spent being a guard had only alloted her time to think, which she had needed. When she arrived to the house, she found the fire roaring and Caval sleeping on the floor. She shook her head, then decided if it would be best to allow him to sleep and not bother him by waking him, or to wake him and make him take the bed.

A few minutes of internal conflict later, she kneeled beside him, saying his name softly and squeezing his shoulder calmly, not wanting him to wake thinking there was a problem. When he opened his eyes slightly, she told him to go sleep in the bed. "If it bothers you that much," she said when he began to protest, "I'll sleep in there with you."

She left him to decide, knowing she couldn't force him into comfort. And as he was still laying there she removed her shirt as she headed to the bedroom, then began with her cloth wrappings. Then, she contimplated just sleeping in a long shirt she had found earlier that day or if she needed pants. Figuring Caval wasn't coming, she pulled her pants from her legs and pushed her head through the long shirt. Though as it fell on her, she found it wasn't as long as she had thought earlier. It fell just about half-way on her thighs, but she didn't care. Climbing into the bed, she found the tiredness had hit her again, and snuggled under the blanket. She wasn't sure, but she thought she might have heard footsteps, but then again, she was nearly asleep and it could have been wishful thinking.
 
Huh? Caval blinked with an incoherent moan as he tried to figure out what was going on. It wasn't another attack, it was Ivy. Was he dreaming? Did she just ask him to share the bed with her? It didn't make sense. In his sleep he said 'he couldn't, there was no way'. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he propped himself up on one elbow to look over his shoulder at Ivan as he started to transform back into Ivy. Yet looking at her he continued to be unsure what was going on. Should he take her up on the offer or just let he enjoy the bed to herself. In some way he knew he should just let her sleep and yet he couldn't help but think about the possibilities.

Once the door was shut Caval got up and straightened up his bedroll as he considered what was going on. Well he couldn't go in wearing the next to nothing that he had on. Pulling on a shirt again he went and poured himself a mug of water. In fact he kept finding small things to do, to straighten up to avoid making the final decision to enter the bedroom. In time his desire to be closer to Ivy won out and with a light knocking he finally entered into the room. Tenatively stepping in he came close to the bed. "Are you sure about this?" Wait, he still wasn't sure she asked what she did. "You want me to sleep here, with you? I... You are my soldier and I haven't slept next to a woman in a long time and I don't mean to do anything but I'm worried that I might and..." Caval finally cut off his rambling excuse unsure of himself and the situation he was finding himself in.

He didn't want to be unsure. He wanted to have taken her from the guard duty that she was on back to this house, to this bed even. Here he would undress her, hold and kiss her before lying in bed with her. Yet the situation made him feel ham stringed and unable to act on his desires.
 
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