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Seeking help with character development. Look inside for details

DancingKing2

Super-Earth
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Hello everybody.
I have many character's I need to refine and test out.
They are for the series Naruto. The DC world and Sailor Moon.
Any takes would be great. I would love to talk and toss around ideas for them.
 
*Looks inside*


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If you want to talk and toss around ideas, this is the forum for it. However, it might help if we had characters to look over. Not just universes they're based in, but actual details. What names you have, what backgrounds, what movesets, history, relations, etc. So far, there's not a whole lot anyone can do for you. There's nothing to work with yet.

Choose one of your many characters, and let's start there.
 
That idea makes sense.

First character is an uncle to Naruto. He is a red head like his mother and his summon animal(s) are ninja hamsters.
Second is a DC character who is a magic user from Krypton back from its mystical heritage. He also links to the gods of Krypton and Ellipso. He had been locked away in a moon for eons and crash lands into Earth.
Third is a demon butler for the Bat family and he is the nephew to Alfred.
 
What are you hoping to accomplish with each of these characters?

Do you want Naruto's uncle to change the story entirely, right from the beginning?
Do you want this Kryptonian to join Superman in protecting his new home, or seek to conquer it and turn it into a new Krypton?
How does Alfred Pennyworth end up becoming the uncle of a demon, and why does this demon wish to work for the Wayne Family in particular?
 
Honetly, the story and the ideas keep changing. I want to make them playable and see how they would be in the real comics.
I was going to have the uncle come in the story as Bruto is in high school, so this would be part of an AU. I am having trouble on how he gets discovered and why he was gone for so long.

At this point my character is looking to find his place and one of those types that wants to be just alone. He was used by the side of good and the side of evil and it has left him bitter to both sides.

Alfred has a brother, and he fought in WW 2. He was thought to of died in the war but was found a few years late. He would have no clue of where the missed years. The fact is he was taken by a daughter of a demon lord, and they had a child.
 
A long-lost uncle who disappeared for the entirety of the main story involving his nephew, and he returns after Naruto has, presumably, accomplished his dream of being Hokage and starting a family of his own? It sounds like this OC might be pretty old... unless, somehow, he retained his youth due to shenanigans of the jutsu variety, or the alien variety. That's something you'll need to dwell on yourself. Either he's a shinobi who lived a full life somewhere else, or he was somehow frozen in time and made his way back to reality sometime in the future. Decide on that. Either way you slice it, his place in this world is going to be an interesting arc should you want him to rediscover where his sister planted roots, and what became of the nephew he perhaps never got to meet.

The Kryptonian being a hard-neutral character is perfectly fine, especially if he's older than the mortals of Earth. Superman has a Fortress of Solitude, so he understands the importance of solitude, too. Does this character want to learn the ways of Earth and live out a simple existence, earning his own meals, building his own shelter, etc? Can anyone reach him should they have need of his assistance? Hard neutral is a neat idea, but surely there's something that might encourage him to fight again should it be necessary. Oh, and consider a pet if you want him to know SOME companionship. Dogs don't want to use you, they just want to be with you. Maybe that's something you can work with, your character being a companion for a stray instead of a tool like he's used to being.

Alfred's brother woo'd a demon lord's daughter, I assume unrelated to Trigon, but perhaps a demon LIKE Trigon. Did this child live in another dimension with his parents, or was he disguised on Earth and attempting to live as a mortal with his father? Did the mother die? Did she live as a mortal like her lover? And how is being the child of a demon and a human affecting this character's perspective on humanity as a whole, knowing that many would reject his existence? Take it from Raven. It can't be easy, knowing part of you comes from what is believed to be something so corrupt. Maybe think a little more on how he ended up with his uncle, and why being a butler is his occupation rather than anything else.
 
You have given me alot to think about, but this is good. These are the type of questions that will help me. I also need to know which mistakes to not make when adding details.

I am not sure about the uncle at this point. I never got the chance to develop him other than the basic idea. I wanted him to be a healer on the level of Tsunade. One idea that had been told was he was experimented on my Ochruime or somebody that learned his skills and took off to do his own thing. Another idea was he had been locked away in a prison and just was released or the prison was forgotten about. He was/had washed up on shore or discovered and in need of medical attention.

At this point he might want to see/read both sides and make up his own mind. For eons he had been used by both sides and wishes to be left alone. At times he would want to destroy both good and bad. I would like for him to find his own place and rebuild a community of his own. He might be able to do that on the moon. His 'pet' would be a fairy dragon. She would have an attitude as she can relate to what her 'master' has gone thought. He would already have himself a legion of crystal/mirror shard warriors. He gave them a chance at freedom once he freed them from a wizard, but they chose to serve him. The normal green kryptonite doesn't affect him like it does the other due to his heritage of mystical energy. One the other side of his tree is Eclipseo, he would have the power of the plagues. He would nephew to Morningstar himself. So..he is a powerhouse.

Maybe they wooed each other. I was going to have the demon's daughter mother be Lilith. So... powerhouse. He can come off as polished but has a dark streak and can go off the deep end at times. I never thought about Raven, good call. The idea starts out as Alfred goes to his brother funeral in England. Somebody does with him, not sure who. He ends of laying flowers at the grave a day or so later. He is caught and starts to talk....many questions are asked, and he is trying to leave. He is not supposed to let it be known he exists for his safety. He had always been told to stay away from the human worlds as it would bring up too many questions and nobody would understand him...they could hunt him down and study him.
 
Orochimaru was into some very dark and depraved stuff even before he officially defected from the Leaf; we're talking experimenting on infants and not caring if they died levels of darkness here -- and some infants did die, like 59. Unless they had a significantly strong dynamic with one another, be careful hitching your wagon to the baby-killing rogue ninja who got let go by the end of the series. I would also be extremely careful playing the "we just forgot" card. It's possible they were taken prisoner after their village was destroyed, and everyone believed your character dead, but the entire world united to defeat Obito and Madara, so what village would continue to keep this character prisoner? Keep in mind, Kishimoto tried tying every single grievance between villages up and hand-waving it away by the end of Shippuden, so I can't see any of the Kage keeping this character prisoner for over another decade until the Boruto era. You want this character to be in a specific place at a specific time, that's fair, but you need to be extremely careful with how you have him appear again after spending over two decades imprisoned, just to excuse him from never being involved with the main story until Naruto's son was born.

It might be easier to say he placed himself in a medically induced coma somewhere far away because of a progressive disease he couldn't cure at the time. Maybe the summon contract with the hamsters provided him a haven to do it, and a bunch of animals he trusted to watch over his body, but it took a long time for them to be able to cure him. And since the hamsters are reclusive, it would explain why no one knew about him, and why everyone who did know him was either dead at the time or believed him to be, unless he kept his illness a secret. Up to you.

I personally would not keep him young unless he was in another dimension where he didn't physically age, because time progressed much faster outside of him than inside it. Don't do a fountain of youth thing; even Tsunade's attempt to look young is nothing but chakra, so unless he's insecure, I'd keep him at the physical age he should be unless you really insist on him being incredibly young.



If you want this Kryptonian to be strong and not be bothered by anyone, the moon works, but only a specific set of heroes or villains could even reach him up there. And those that know about him may either respect his wishes to be left alone, or just don't have any stake in the moon to care that he's up there wanting to be left alone. To Luthor, the less Kryptonians on Earth, the better, and he can't stand Superman. There's not much more to do with this character. If he wants to ignore any call to action and wants to stick with a community that won't be easily bothered, you've got it.



Tell me why you want this character to become a butler besides the fact his uncle is one.

Alfred could go with Bruce, Dick (the first Robin/Nightwing), Jason Todd (the second Robin), Tim Drake (the third Robin), or Damian Wayne (Bruce's Son/the fourth Robin), or any combination of them if they all wish to support him through this difficult time.

I don't know if Alfred or anyone else would push it if he wanted to leave, not unless there's a resemblance that can't be denied with Alfred's own eyes. Or maybe he has a trinket that belonged to his deceased father that he's wearing, and Alfred puts it together before he leaves.

He was told to stay away from the human world and broke that rule almost immediately, which begs the question of what this person even looks like. Does he show any inhuman traits at all? Is he using magic to appear more human than demon? And was running into Alfred and whoever accompanied him really just a massive coincidence, or did he want to be noticed because he is desperate for companionship?
 
I am back, had a health issues Monday night and You gave me a lot to think about in how my characters would work in a normal version of those stories.
I will really have to take some time to rethink much of the Naruto's uncle. I am thinking the part of the hamsters slowly heal him and it just lost to time, might be the best way. For the youth idea, he could learn the ways of Tsunade. He might not be able to hold it as long as she could, for the moment. I need to really work out some ideas. I had wanted him to be a link to some of his goofiness. His love of ramen as well. Like there is a secret ramen recipe in the family. I even have art.

There is so much more I had thought of doing with him, but I will take it one step at a time. I will just need to write/type things out and see how that goes.

This character needs some major thinking as well. I just thought it would be great to have a person who doesn't take any crap but takes it to another level then Alfred.
He would look mostly human, maybe to ungodly handsome. His eyes would show off the demon blood, but only from a side glance. He has had years to prefect those abilities. He can be just as calm as Alfred, but does have a spiteful/dark side.
He wanted to just pay his respects and be done with it. It was to be just a quick trip with nobody knowing about it.
 
It's likely that Tsunade's age didn't really show before Kushina died, so that jutsu was probably invented much later, when she cut all ties to the Leaf Village. With that being said, it's such a non-issue that you can probably justify him having this idea and having the chakra control to perform it. Tsunade is likely not the first person to consider using chakra to constantly maintain the image of youth, she's just the only character insecure enough about aging to do it and invest time in learning how. If this character disappeared before Kushina died, Tsunade would've left the village after losing her little brother and lover, and it doesn't sound like your character tried to stick around. If she did teach him a thing or two about medical ninjutsu, it would have to be before the war, and she would've left the village some time after it; Tsunade didn't mess around with medical procedures after her lover died with his blood covering her, and the phobia set in.

This guy returning in the Boruto generation means he missed out on a lot of world-changing events. This is not the same world he would have left. The villages are at peace; the world is trying to maintain it for as long as possible... and also there are, like, aliens n' shit running around. The Kage in power when he disappeared are dead or retired, putting new faces in their place. Any other characters he knew are either dead or aged normally. Even businesses and the people that ran them are likely closed. It's going to be a shock, waking up from a comatose state to rediscover a world that moved without his presence. His sister was killed, that's never good, he's going to need to process that if he didn't before entering a comatose state. There's a lot you need to consider, yes.

Linking goofiness and a taste of food isn't inherently a bad thing, but it isn't a necessity. Naruto was a goofball because it gave him positive attention, which the entire village neglected to give him; he was extremely depressed and isolated, and turned to humor and acting out because laughing at his antics is a lot better than being afraid to talk to him. He can like ramen without inheriting a fondness for it via blood connection, too. Some family members have things in common without blood being a part of that; it's perfectly fine if both these characters enjoy ramen, and relations don't need to have anything to do with it. He became the man he is without his uncle; tying traits to him isn't a necessity, but if you believe it makes your character better in some way, that's your call. Nothing wrong with wanting to make ramen though, you can lean into creating ramen as a hobby for the character. Jiraiya wrote smut novels; Kakashi read smut novels; Ino tends to plants; Shikamaru plays Shogi; your character can cook and use that as another means of bonding with the nephew he didn't get to see grow up.



Depending on the universe, Alfred doesn't take anything from anyone either. He's meant to demonstrate professionalism and rationality. That doesn't mean he's a chump you can insult and expect to get away with it. If your character would rather maim someone than engage in a battle of wit when disrespected, that's certainly the kind of darkness you can imply.

If his eyes can easily give away his inhuman nature, does he have no illusionary abilities to conceal it? If he had years to perfect his abilities, has he perfected a disguise that wouldn't attract unwanted attention? It might be easier for him to blend in if he isn't ungodly handsome, and he diminishes his appearance on purpose to appear like the average citizen on Earth. Nothing designer. Nothing expensive on his person. He doesn't need to be a hobo, but if he's too attractive, that encourages attention. You need to decide if he can mask this in some way, or if he's going to be all, "Well, I'm too sexy for my shirt," and just walk around being hot but not wanting people to realize he's hot... which probably ain't gonna work, because hot people get attention whether they want it or not.

He wants to pay his respects and "be done with it" -- "just a quick trip". This is his father. Did he have a strong relationship with his father in life? Was his father there for him when he grew into a man? Did his father even KNOW about him, or did his mother conceal that fact from him for the remainder of his life? Does he resent his father for dying? For being human? For leaving him?

All these question aside, I still need to know how meeting Alfred and whoever accompanies him turns him into a butler. Why does the super hot magical guy meet his uncle and decide on becoming a butler, of all things? What did he aspire to before meeting Alfred? Does he love to serve people regardless of his powers? Does he want to be of use to people, and if so, why, specifically, a butler, when someone who is so powerful could help people in other ways rather than one specific family? There has to be a reason he turns to this path.

Alfred can learn to love the nephew he never knew he had without him becoming a butler, too. He can help him find a place in Gotham City if he wants a fresh start. And with Alfred's connection to Bruce, I'm sure a job referral from Bruce Wayne himself could go a long way in many industries in Gotham City. But he must prove himself, too. And if he's never held a job in the mortal world, he's going to have to explain how he's survived this long. Is he going to lie to his uncle about who he really is forever, or will he be forced to be truthful when certain details aren't adding up? Alfred's a butler, he's not an idiot; you don't butler for Batman and not sense something is amiss.

Think on it.
 
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