─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: sᴍᴀʟʟ sᴛᴏɴᴇ | ᴀᴍɪɢᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ
↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺
“Take twenty years of my life, comrade, and stand up — take more, for I do not know what I can even attempt to do with it now.”
- Erich Maria Remarque, All Quiet on the Western Front
Small stone, big river.
Long night, hard liver.
Cold sweat and shivers to sleep.
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Not many people knew that
Dr. Malveillance was a twin. Drow mythology often referred to a set of male and female twins as the sun to her moon. And after multiple children, the Malveillance family was blessed in both ways: having an eldest daughter, and having a set of twins.
Two out of the three blessings were present in Lilian’s room.
Lucian, or Luci, the eldest leaned against the couch. A cake with both of their names was placed on the living room table to celebrate their special day.
“I wanted to check in on you.” Her voice was low, her eyes focused on the dirty ashtray and the mess of clothes on the floor.
“I thought you didn’t smoke anymore.” Luci stared blankly, swirling a glass of absinthe in her hand.
“I don’t drink anymore.” Lily corrected her older sister.
“I need at least one vice every year lest I go mad.”
His name was Locke, and he was born fifteen minutes before her. Lilian was sure that if he was alive now, that his hair would be longer than hers. He would have stood a foot taller than her and never let her hear the end of it. Unlike the professor, despite his vision being better than hers, he had a scar over his right eye thanks to a childhood accident during their snake hunting competitions.
It was
his birthday today, not hers.
But what was there to celebrate anyway?
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“The rules say that you’re too young to enlist.” She told her brother nearly decades ago.
His mind was made up, though. Drow men often had the desire to die in them.
An arachnid tendency, she supposed.
“Fuck the rules. You were given an offer to be Five’s second-in-command. That's more recognition than I'll ever get in a lifetime.”
Not many people knew that Cassandra was formerly a powerful spellcaster for hire before being picked up by the Empress to give vital readings for the war. She didn’t get the same recognition due to her frequent hospital stays. Both Lilian and Cassandra had enough spellcasting prowess to destroy star systems if they wanted to.
Lily shook her head.
“That’s different. I’m turning it down… I want to stay here so there’s something left after this senseless violence comes to an end. I can’t stop the rest of our family from enlisting, but I thought you knew me enough to listen to reason.”
Locke chuckled, though it was clear that the laughter tasted bitter in his lips. He knew she made up her mind too. Drow women often needed to get the last word.
“Lily… you’re making a mistake.”
“And so are you.”
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That was their only disagreement and the last time they spoke.
She had a feeling years later that Cass
hadn’t offered her the position because she knew Lily would accept it. Instead, Lily felt perhaps the elder fairy offered her one final line of communication futilely, a unique chance to connect and travel with her brother before he parted from the world.
Lily was too young. Too stupid
and too young. What did the Lily know about divination anyway? She never had much of a natural grasp for that magical subject throughout both of her doctoral degrees. Was it supposed to be her fault for not knowing?
The drow took a drag of her cigarette as she sunk into the couch.
Sometimes she wondered how Arc was. Lily wondered if Luci did too.
You fucking idiot, Lily cursed her brother every single day for dying honourably.
Stupid fucking idiot. “For your namesake, I’d be surprised if you knew how to unlock a padlock if it spread its legs for you.” She wiped a stray tear as she stared at both of their names written on the untouched cake, with a singular candle placed just for her.
“Stay in school.” Were his last words before he joined the rest of her family.
For
what? For half of her had remained ripped away. Not only Locke, but the professor that had inspired her in the first place. Her idol, her second mother, the same woman that nagged her for eating boiled broccoli in the postgrad lounge. As if the kami were playing a cruel joke on her, another professor soon arrived offering the same lunch that made her want to vomit sometimes. Nothing could ever tear away her life from the war, it seemed.
No matter how long time had passed, her wound remained fresh and tore open every single year.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Hours Earlier.
“OH!” The sight of a tall angel towering over the rest of the walking students pointed at the familiar arena.
Rafaela was in high spirits considering she was visiting a place with bittersweet memories.
“THIS is where I used to hold training since the ceilings on the ship were so damn low. It used to be a looot less reinforced before I–”
Before Yan could cut her off, Yume spoke first, peering curiously at the ongoing events.
“It looks like class is in session.” A magical wall had sealed the entrance to the arena, though glimpses of fire could be seen from the pillars. Yume scanned the sign.
“They won’t be done for hours. It also seems too dangerous to audit for the day.”
The girls of the Midnight Cafe were mildly disappointed that a part of their tour couldn’t be accessed at the moment.
“Oh my, that’s a shame.” Yan shrugged, secretly glad that Rafaela wouldn’t make the tour any more graphic than it needed to be.
“Perhaps we should come back in an hour or two?”
With a nod, the women walked off.
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Half of Lily's class was in the colosseum. The second half was in the classroom. That was the regular setup for Lily’s foundational magic course.
Bedside believer
Lifetime achiever
Rhinestones and no one to see.
All of godʼs glory only.
All of godʼs glory only for me.
“This class is so useless… the war is over. Why do we even need to learn this stuff?” She couldn’t remember who said it, and she didn’t care. It wasn’t exactly an uncommon sentiment in her classes. It was a boyish voice though, possibly a demon or a vampire. It was followed by an echo of raucous laughter, which irked the professor the most.
A ring of fire sealed the classroom, shooting balls of flame at random intervals. Students were supposed to learn how to act on impulse and put each flame out in as many different ways they could think of.
“Hey, be careful!” Mina leapt to deal with the jumping flames about to swallow their classmate. The boy, sensing his opportunity, casted magic of his own in the magi’s direction. Before Aiden could do anything about their classmate, the entire class was about to see only a
glimpse of her power.
“ENOUGH.” Lily teleported in front of his fist, stopping the mana dead in its tracks with her glowing hands.
“Sabotaging your classmates is not tolerated in this class, I didn’t come here to teach a group of lawless mercenaries.” Lily scolded.
“If you’re looking to do that, take an espionage class.”
The drow cracked her knuckles, swearing she could feel a vein pop in her forehead as she provided her last lecture of the day.
“There is a reason evocation studies are a mandatory requirement for many magical majors. That reason is my fuel for continuing to teach this class time and time again.”
“I want you all to protect yourselves from tyrants that threaten to tear the galaxy apart again. I want you to be able to protect those that can’t protect themselves. For those that the devastation left behind. You are LUCKY to be sitting in this very arena and be able to complain about learning how to protect yourself. There are people that cannot feel anything at all. There are professors here teaching the children of dead soldiers. There is a professor here that died for all of you, who taught her students until her last breath. And until the lunar goddess pries my soul from my cold dead hands, I will do the same.”
Lily thought of her idol and old friend,
Nagi. She was thinking about her as she continued her impassioned speech.
“The history of this institution is built atop a foundation of blood and pain for those that don’t bleed. Many of us have lost family, and have seen the war firsthand. Some of us are still alive. And trust me, it is not the privilege or celebration that you’d think it is. A ring of practice fire is nothing compared to goddesses that could swallow entire planets or terrorists that can rewrite vast swaths of memories or your very perception of self. What would those heroes say if they saw you behaving without a semblance of honour?"
"Do you think they’d be proud of you?”
Snap.
The silence after her impassioned speech was deafening, allowing her magic to echo throughout the room. The flames around them began to die down. Without the ring of fire, it looked like an auditorium again.
Around them, the surroundings reminded them that their star-system was infamous in the worst ways.
Everything from the green grass to the marble and glass that built their auditorium was imported from now-peaceful nations. Rubble and blood had been cleaned from the former barren wasteland decades ago. If someone born yesterday stumbled across the prestigious campus, other than the
memorial statue of Professor Hoshino, they would have never known the carnage and tragedy that took place here.
“Have respect for the rules. If not, I beseech you to follow at least some moral code.” She slammed her spellbook closed.
“Class dismissed.” Lily dropped the magical barrier that protected the arena.
Unlike every other lecture, she left promptly, removing any option for students to ask any other questions.
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“Do you want me to leave, Lily?” Luci said, unable to stop the flow of tears that flooded her younger sister’s face.
“Was I… too tough on them, Locke?” Lily dipped her head onto her tear-stained couch cushion.
“Gods… they’re only children. How horrible was it for me to yell…” Her lower back was aching from another day of pushing her body to her limits. All she wanted to do was sink into a hole. It was too bad her own stubbornness prevented her from giving up when there were future generations depending on her to lead by example.
Luci stepped out with a sad look, closing the door quietly behind her.
“Look, I’m going to check in on you later tonight. I’ll be here for the entire week if you need it.” Seeing her sister lose herself to grief on her own birthday was not a new phenomenon. Drow women often had to be their own catalysts to change. No one else, even their fellow moon sisters could pull them out of their spiral.
Nighttime deceiver
Heartache and fever
Deadlines with nowhere to be.
As her sister left, Lily glanced for a second at the half-finished bottle of absinthe. It was tempting… to lose herself as she once did long ago, even at the expense of her own family’s concern.
Fuck, I’m pathetic.
Lily picked up her phone and its old cracked screen and dialled
his number.
“Azazel.” The drow spoke his name once he answered on the first ring, doing her best not to crack as she spoke.
“It’s me… Lilian.” His voice was low but in high spirits, calming her down through her phone’s speakers.
Lily chewed her lip, her heart suddenly racing when he picked up. The drow prayed he couldn’t hear her voice shake. She let out a small exhale when he told her a joke.
“Me? No, for the last time, it’d be inappropriate to address you openly that way.” Her hand reached to her cheek, hating how warm her face was getting.
“Do you have some time you could block off from your calendar tonight? Right now…?” Lily chewed on her lip. It wasn't like her to make plans last-minute. She looked around at the mess surrounding her living room table and sighed. The drow supposed she could easily toss some of the mess behind her apartment if she was desperate enough.
“Yes… you can come in anytime, actually. I can show you where the spare keys are when you arrive."
"I shall see you then.”
“...Zel.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Tell me the story of lonely and Iʼll show you the pain of getting clean.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
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