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Pirate Epic (Kolath/butterfly0408)

Amelia lay, shaking like a leave on the bed, gag still over her mouth for a few moments after he had let her go. The shock, pain, but most of all humiliation of what had just happened flooding her. Slowly, she moved to sit up on the bed, pulling the gag from her mouth, still shaking as she looked to where he had hidden himself once more. For a moment, she thought to set the pillows a blaze and kill the bastard that had just taken from her the gift she had wanted so much to give to Connor. But... she decided against it. She would likely burn the whole ship up and cause a riot. She feared him before, but now it was ten fold. He held something horrible and humiliating over her. He held the threat to kill her and her friend and her love if she told. But then what would she tell Connor. Here was no doubt that her virginity was indeed gone. The pain was still lingering and as she moved to stand, she felt the soreness and the warm blood trickle down her leg. Instincts seemed to sink in again as she moved to use the gag to clear what had happened up and threw the cloth out the open window to hid the evidence. Looking at herself in the mirror, she rushed to fix her hair again since it had become messed in the scuffle with Jim. Her eyes were horribly puffy, but nothing could hide that.

A knock came at the door and Thea's voice to boot, "Amelia, is everything alright?"

She looked to the place were Jim hide. It just took a word. One word and what he had done would be known. But instead.... Amelia crossed to the door, hiding the cringe of pain she felt between her legs as she opened it, "Just... fixing my face again."

Thea gasped seeing the alarming look on Amelia's face, "My God! Are you alright? You're crying!"

Amelia forced a smile though her eyes were still horribly sad, "Tears of joy..." was the only thing she said as she pushed past Thea and made her way above deck for the wedding, trying to think something up in her head to explain to Connor when he discovered her lack of a maidenhead tonight.
 
Conner couldnâ??t help but be happy smiling and taking Ameliaâ??s hand in his as she came on deck. He brushed his hand over her cheek and leaned in kissing her forehead lightly. â??You look beautiful Amelia.â? Even through what he assumed were tears of joy her beauty shone through. The marriage ceremony was short and tasteless, and many times Ralph of Conner had to keep Callar from making some lewd comment about what was going to happen to Amelia tonight. Finally the ceremony was over and the partying began.

Conner slowly led Amelia away from the party after an hour of having something to eat and a little to drink. He only wanted to be with her but he had put on the show he needed too, he needed to have his own crew soon. he slowly walked with her hand in hand toward their house. He didnâ??t know what to say just staying quiet as they made their way toward their married life.
 
Amelia felt even more utterly humiliated. She did not know what the lewd things Callar was saying meant but knew at least the nature of them from the way that everyone seemed to laugh at her. And it hurt since.... it had already happened in such a horrible way. Amelia said nothing. Literally nothing from the time she said "I do" until now as they headed back to the house. Her time was running short and she did not know yet what she would tell him as they left the party. Finally she spoke up, "Connor, you should stay at the party. The men seem to want to drink with you more..."
 
Conner smiled and turned ot face her taking both her hands and looking into her eyes. â??You expect me to leave my wife alone after I have waited so long to have you.â? It had only been about a month since they met but he was deeply in love with her in such a short time. He slowly stepped back holding her hands and leading her toward their home pushing the door open with his boot. â??No my love, tonight I am yours and yours alone.â? He gently drew her close to his body looking into her eyes, â??As you are mine.â?
 
Could he tell by holding her? Would a kiss tell him the truth of her current and quite altered state? So naive she simply did not know if he could or could not. Fearful, she gently pushed his chest away and turned her face, "I need to change out of this dress. And I'd like to wash up a bit." Get rid of any last trace that she could.
 
Conner blinked wondering if he was pushing too hard. He nodded and stepped back, â??Of course Amelia, take your timeâ?¦if you want I could sleep down here in the kitchen tonight. I know that all this has been a bit rushed and I donâ??t want to push you into anything you donâ??t want.â? He walked over to the stove setting a pot of water on to heat so she could clean up.
 
"No," she said trying to fake that smile once again. Shaking her head she repeated, "No, it's alright. I just... I need a little time." She didn't even wait for him to fully heat the water before she came and took it from him, "This will do. I just, I am going to wash up then lay down for a bit. Why don't you go back to the party. I don't want you just sitting here waiting for me." It was her way to try and stall him. If she could get him out she could pretend she was asleep when he returned and buy herself one more day to think things though.
 
Conner just watched her as she hurried through things. Something was bothering her and he could tell. He slowly stepped over to her his hands resting on her sides lightly. â??Amelia, please donâ??t try and hide your fear from meâ?¦ I know that what has happened here is something that is scary, I donâ??t want you to be scared of me.â? He slowly steps away from her before pulling out a blanket and pillow from the closet laying them on the floor of the kitchen. â??I will be here my love, when you are ready for me to be your friend again, maybe even your husband.â?
 
She shook her head and put the pot of water down, letting it splashed a bit with the force of it hitting the table, "No.... don't do that. Don't..." she didn't know what she was telling him not to do. Crossing to him she took the blanket and pillow from him, putting them back. "I... I want you to come to bed tonight. Just, let me clean up and then I'll call you to come to bed alright?" Not even waiting for him to reply, knowing he would do it somewhere inside her she went back to the water and took it to the room they would now share. She worked quickly to clean herself up. Taking off the dress she never wanted to see it again as she discarded it in the corner of the room. She threw on a night dress that she had gotten. Going to the door, she opened it again and called to him, "You can come in now," before rushing to get in the bed.
 
Conner waited willingly before he came into the room and stood there looking at her in bed. He knelt beside the bed looking into her eyes brushing his hand over her cheek. â??Are you just really nervous Amelia? Something seems to be bothering you and I just donâ??t want to make you uncomfortable.â? He leans in kissing her lips softly his hand still brushing her cheek lightly.
 
"Yes," she said putting on the slightly hint of a sad smile, "nervous. I'm very nervous about this. That's all. It will pass. Every young miss has the right to be nervous, doesn't she?" And doesn't a wife have the right to be nervous when her husband discovered her used goods?
 
Conner smiled and kissed Amelia softly, his hand brushing over her cheek. â??Yes she does, and it is her husbandâ??s job to help her relax.â? He pulled off his shirt and slowly moved to kneel on the bed next to her leaning down and kissing her softly his hands brushing over her cheeks and down her neck.
 
Guilt was sweeping over here like water trying to drown her. His kiss was so soft and caring. She did not deserve such a thing from him. Not when she was unable to give him the one thing he deserved in return for it. What should be relaxing her was actually making her more tense.
 
Conner could feel that something was wrong even with what he was doing but he wasnâ??t very experienced in knowing what he was doing and so thought it just might be that he wasnâ??t being very successful. He slowly moved down pushing the shoulders of her night dress down and kissing over her collarbone and shoulder. He was doing everything he could to help her get used to his touch hoping she would be able too.
 
This whole building up thing was something she had looked forward to facing for days now but now that she was getting it... god she only wanted to get it out of the way. It was like... he was building them both up to something that would turn out to not happen in there in the end. She sighed, feeling frustrated and then, "Maybe.... maybe if we get the big part out of the way... I won't be so nervous anymore?" It was a terrible suggestion she knew, but she'd rather get it out of the way and have him be mad with her without the miss leading then have him be mad with the miss leading.
 
Conner pulled back looking at her and smiling slowly. â??I understand, get the pain out of the way.â? He kissed her softly and then undressed himself the rest of the way. As he knelt next to her naked he slowly slipped her night dress off of her body. he just sat there for a long moment looking over her body. â??Mmm wowâ?¦I knew you were beautiful Amelia but I never realized just how beautiful you were.â?
 
The pain was not going to be in the act, but in his reaction to finding out her condition was... not how he expected. The way he complimented her on her beauty only hurt all the more. "Thank you," she replied as she shut her eyes and sighed, opening up her legs rather woodenly and without any kind of tender emotion. No better time to get this over with then now.
 
Had Conner known more about this act he would have stopped right here and demanded to know what was wrong. As it was he just thought she was sacred of the pain that was to come. He slowly moved between her legs gently caressing her skin. His thick tip pressed against her lips, he leaned in and kissed her softly. â??I love you Amelia.â? And saying that he pushed into her slowly, always expecting to hear her cry out in pain or to feel resistance. As he pushed in more finally pushing all of his cock into her he just knelt there looking down into her face. â??Ameliaâ?¦â? he knew something was wrong now, â??Is there something you want to tell me?â?
 
Her eyes were shut tight the whole while. She could get through this. She could maybe play dumb when he realized it. And then... her had to tell her he loved her. Even with her eyes closed, tears found a way to escape out of them still. There was still pain, an awkward pain that was more in her heart then the rest of her. She could tell the moment that he realized it and his words, in a tone where she could not tell exactly what he was feeling, only confirmed that. "I.... I'm sorry. I... I didn't know how to tell you..."
 
Conner was holding back tears of his own. He gently brushed his hand over her cheek as he whispered, â??Look at me Amelia.â? His eyes were filled with tears as he looked into her face if she didnâ??t open her eyes. â??How long ago did you give yourself to someone and do you still love him?â? he didnâ??t really mind that she wasnâ??t a virgin, it hurt a little but what really hurt was that he might not be the first man she loved.
 
She was hesitant to open her eyes, anticipating seeing the anger in his eyes. When she finally did open them, and her teary eyes meet his teary ones, she had to shut them just as quickly as she opened them. He wasn't made at her, he was heartbroken. That was way worse then she ever thought. "No, I don't love him..." was her only sad reply, ignoring his question about how long ago it happened.
 
Conner looked puzzled for a moment and then realized something. His ahnd gently brushed her cheek forcing her face to look at him if she opened her eyes. â??Ameliaâ?¦you didnâ??t love himâ?¦was it one of the pirates? Did I not keep a close enough guard on you? Did one of them rape you while I was not protecting you?â?
 
"No!" she answered and an alarmingly fast rate that gave it away as a lie. "It wasn't a pirate. I wasn't.... raped. And it's not you fault. It's mine." She still could not look at him for she knew if there was any chance left that he would believe her, she could not let him look into her eyes for they would surely give her away without a single doubt. "It's all my fault I couldn't be a proper wife to you... I'm sorry."
 
The fact she couldnâ??t look at him told him enough that it was a pirate and his ideas pinned it on one man. Though he couldnâ??t do anything as long as she said it wasnâ??t. he shook his head slowly and turned her to look at him. â??Amelia, do you love me?â?
 
She took a deep breath and gave him no verbal reply. Instead she just nodded rather rapidly in a yes response. She now feared to open her eyes that she'd loss what little control over her tears she had and end up a blubbering mess.
 
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