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homura (DarkMudkip/Jikkah)

Though her tears blurred her vision too much to see his face, the gentleness in his voice came through loud and clear. “But you’re going to die..!” She almost didn’t recognize the man before her, with such worry in his tone- was it because the two of them were alone? She heard him take a step closer, saw his blurry form get bigger. “What am I gonna do if you die too?”
 
She was taken aback by the sudden tenderness, something she thought she would never get from him again, and it only made her cry more, "I'm not gonna die, Sanemi...!" She argued weakly, "I can't die, no one else knows how to make ohagi how you like it...!" She had hoped the light joke would be enough to ease a bit more tension, especially with him being so vulnerable with her right now.
 
“I’m serious, Yuko.” Sanemi said, but his tone was still soft. “You’re putting yourself in unnecessary danger- you’re a kakushi, but you refuse to act like one.” He clenched his fists and glared at the ground. “You still think you can fight, but one hit to your leg and you’re on the ground. Just stop. You won’t be helping anyone by being demon bate- so put down your damn sword already.”
 
"I can't." She said softly, "I'll be ok! I've survived this long! And I'm training myself to protect my weak point!" She looked up at him and frowned, "I'll retire for real when you do...so we can grow old together...and if we both die then I'll find you in the next life, and we'll get married and not have to worry about such things anymore...! I know you don't like the idea, but I thought...I thought what we shared meant something...even a small bit.."
 
“You know… You know I can’t do that..” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I can’t just stop- I can’t until they’re all dead.” He would cast his gaze to the dirt.
 
"Then I'll keep fighting...until I can't anymore...and I promise you, Sanemi, I won't be reckless." She told him before she moved closer, hesitating before taking his hand gently, "Please trust me...I would never let myself die knowing it would hurt you so much.."
 
“People in this line of work don’t get to choose their own death, you know that much..” He didn’t pull his hand away, didn’t smack her hand away, let her hold it. He lightly placed his thumb against her hand, gently rubbing her hand.
 
"Well, I want to be the first..." She said softly, watching his small token of affection, "I won't cause you grief like that...I want to be there beside you when all the demons are gone."
 
Sanemi felt uncomfortable in his own feelings, hating how Yuko made him feel, but at the same time loving it. It was like he couldn’t get enough, no matter how much it hurt him, how much it scared him.
 
She looked up at him when he didn't say anything and gave a sad smile, "Would you like to stay with me until morning? I could make you something to eat before you leave tomorrow. Just..." Come on, Mitsuri would want you to try, "just be together...like we used to..."
 
He didn’t say anything for what felt like a long time, before he finally gave a nod. “Just the night.. I have more jobs to do..” He offered, giving her hand a small squeeze.
 
Sanemi still looked a bit uncomfortable, but followed her without arguing or resisting, watching her as she led him away.
 
It was a bittersweet feeling in his chest, walking with her like this, painfully aware of her limp. But it was almost like nothing had changed, like she was still learning under him, happy to go out and fight with him. They made it into the city after a bit and she took him into the inn she was staying at. The desk clerk took one look at Sanemi and said absolutely nothing, not daring to oppose the new company Yuko had with her as she took him down the hall. She slid open her door and let him in first, "You must be hungry, hm? Who knows how long you had been chasing that thing.." It made his chest ache, hearing her still tend to him like she used to. She moved inside and shut the door gently, "I bought food earlier, for when I finished my exercises. We can share."
 
Sanemi felt a bit ashamed, and a little uncomfortable, being fussed over like he was a child or an invalid. “I don’t need you to feed me, Yuko..” There he went again, actually calling her by her name rather than just calling her ‘kakushi’. He stood in the room, looking around briefly, rubbing the back of his neck. He would need to get his own food and lodgings soon.
 
"Damare." She said firmly and turned to hold out a simple bento with rice, grilled fish, and assorted spring vegetables, "It isn't like I can't go and get more. Ah," she set it down and turned away again before holding out an ohagi to him, "maybe this is more to your liking? It isn't like anything you make, but..." She blushed, "I didn't have the time to make any and a vendor had some. So I spoiled myself a little and bought two. You can have one."
 
He looked at the food in her hand before reaching out to take it, mumbling a soft thanks of gratitude. She could see he was still struggling to let himself be vulnerable, still holding onto the raggedness he used as a defense to keep others at a distance. Sanemi ate in silence, occasionally stealing glances at Yuko.
 
She picked at the bento, making sure to leave half for Sanemi. She was used to the long silences, found comfort in them when they broke from training. She just liked being near him. This wasn't like their old breaks, however, and it was awkward and unsettling. She knew he was struggling, trying to keep himself closed off to any potential pain or heartache. But she could see he wanted her to know that he still cared.
"Daisuki..." She muttered, keeping her eyes on her food, "you don't have to say it back...but I don't know when I'll see you again...so I just wanted to tell you...in the off chance that we...don't..."
 
Sanemi quietly sat beside her, still eating his ohagi slowly. The words stuck in the back of his throat- when was the last time he had even said such words? Probably before his mother had died.
He stared at the last bite in his hand- he couldn’t say it, he just couldn’t force those words from his throat yet. “We will.” He said softly. “We will see each other again.”
 
She exhaled quietly, knowing deep down that he wasn't ready for such feelings yet, but she wanted to try. She nodded to show she had heard him, "Yeah..." She muttered, "You're right...I'm such an idiot, thinking we won't..."
 
It was the best he could do, but he still knew it killed Yuko he couldn’t say it back. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t say those simple words, for if he did, it would cement that he did hold such feelings. It would make things all too real and would be another thing he would have to grieve if he lost.
 
"There's an extra bed, let me get it," she closed the bento and stood, moving to the closet to get the bedding out, "You can sleep as far away as you want, make leaving in the morning as easy on you as possible." She was trying so hard to not cry, she told him he didn't have to return her feelings, but part of her wanted him to. She knew, though, he wouldn't. Not now. She had to be ok with that. It was just the work they did that got in the way, the mission they had to complete. Why couldn't she get lucky like Mitsuri and Iguro?
"If you leave before I wake up, promise me you'll be careful out there. I'll promise, too. So we can see each other again." She smiled softly at him as she set the bedding down, "I'll handmake the ohagi for you next time."
 
Yuko hadn’t even heard him move, or maybe he hadn’t made any sound when he had, but she felt his hand cover hers as she set out the bedding, gently enclosing her hand despite how rough and calloused they were. “I’d rather share.” His words were soft, standing just at her back. “I can sleep alone on my mission.”
 
Her whole face turned dark red, any and all sound catching in her throat as she stared down at his hand over hers. She hesitated before she nodded quickly, her fingers hesitantly lacing with his. "Wh...Whatever you want, Sanemi..." She muttered shyly.
 
He didn’t move away from her, but also didn’t move closer. “What do you want?” He asked softly, holding her hand.
 
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