The 'Laugh You Lose' Game
- Thread starter The King Of Yaoi
- Start date
Soooooo a guy is walking home from the bar and finds his girlfriend tossing all of possessions onto the ground from his bedroom. His clothes flutter around him, and his TV is already shattered on the concrete. Hurriedly he races up the stairs and stops her. "Baby," He pants, "What happened, what's the matter? Why are you throwing all my stuff out the window?"
She whirls on him and points her finger accusingly, "My friends told me you were a pedophile!!!"
He sits back, stunned. Finally he says, "Wow... That's an awfully big word for a 8 year old."
She whirls on him and points her finger accusingly, "My friends told me you were a pedophile!!!"
He sits back, stunned. Finally he says, "Wow... That's an awfully big word for a 8 year old."
Hahvoc The Decepticon
Singularity
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2009
Hahahahaha...XD I lost the game.
Kingschoolyou
Star
- Joined
- May 13, 2009
The_PG said:
Since we're telling jokes now. I have several.
There was this married couple, the husband worked as a fireman, and the wife was a stay at home wife. Well the husband came home one night and said "Honey, they've got this new system at the fire station that I think is pretty neat. When there is a fire there are three bells. Bell 1 we get our suits on and the hoses rolled up onto the trucks, bell 2 we get the dogs on the trucks and the engines started, finally bell 3 we go to put the fire out. Well from now on when I come home and yell bell 1 I want in the bedroom with me. When I yell bell 2 I want you naked and in bed with me, and when I say bell 3 we're going to town. Got that?" She nodded and smiled. The next night he yelled bell 1, they were in the bedroom, he yelled bell 2, they were naked and in bed together. He then finally yelled bell 3 and they went to town. Well while in the midst of "going to town" the wife yelled Bell 4. The man stopped for a second, and said "Honey....what the fuck is bell 4?" The wife smiled and replied "Roll out more hose, you're no where near the fire!"
There was a man walking down the street, and as he walked he saw a beautiful lady walking on the other side. He immediately ran over and greeted her with "Lady, I don't know who you are, but I've got to have you, Now." She looked at him dumbfounded, and replied "Here? Now? IN THE PUBLIC??" The man smiled and said "Ok I'll make you a deal, I'll drop $500 on the ground, and while you bend over to pick it up, I'll do everything I want." The lady thought about it, and thought about it, till she finally called her friend and asked what to do. Her friend replied "Pick up the money and run before he rolls his fireman out and does anything." The lady giggled and agreed. The next day her friend found her walking down the street like an old lady. She instantly ran up and asked "Oh my god are you ok? What happened?" The lady looked up scornfully and replied "That son of a bitch...he dropped $500 in quarters!"
that's all I want to tell for now. I will reveal more later >8U
Sir_Mister
Planetoid
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2010
LMAO--+Hahvoc Requiem+-- said:
Taken at the Superbowl.
BlisteredBlood
The Crucified Angel
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2009
- Location
- Rhode Island
Alright Raz. Since you wanna turn this into a spoof fight, allow me to throw my hat into the ring.Raziel99 said:
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Raziel99
Pulsar
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2009
I wasn't making this a spoof fight. Though, i find your two unfunny since i've seen them about a hundred times.BlisteredBlood said:
*equips his dueling gloves*
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BlisteredBlood
The Crucified Angel
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2009
- Location
- Rhode Island
Alright, muthabuzza. *puts on a set of shades as well as a set of dueling gloves of his own*Raziel99 said:
You've tempted my hand, and now I shall reveal unto you my trap card!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPGD_PzXq28[/youtube]
Mr Master
Pulsar
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2009
What, what?
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU&NR=1[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU&NR=1[/youtube]
Kingschoolyou
Star
- Joined
- May 13, 2009
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YI_4VE-chV8&feature=related[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBT5uL6Mef8&NR=1[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBT5uL6Mef8&NR=1[/youtube]
H a r r i e t
Pulsar
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2009
- Location
- Your most hated fairytale.
Mr Master said:
I'm... traumatized.
D:
Mr Master
Pulsar
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2009
Apparently, there's video of Butters from South Park doing a version of the video. It made Goaty laugh till he cried!H a r r i e t said:
cheerio_cherry
Supernova
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2010
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QURja9e_EnQ&feature=related[/youtube]
... I totally lost at that
... I totally lost at that
Kingschoolyou
Star
- Joined
- May 13, 2009
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rN4yDNj5ME&feature=related[/youtube]
Douchebag dog finally got what was coming to him >8U
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP5MvWCLjJU&NR=1[/youtube]
LOL
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFcu4gJz_6Q&feature=related[/youtube]
Douchebag dog finally got what was coming to him >8U
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP5MvWCLjJU&NR=1[/youtube]
LOL
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFcu4gJz_6Q&feature=related[/youtube]
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2009
- Location
- here
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqGLHluDoe0[/youtube]
TheDuchess
Supernova
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2009
- Location
- United states/Eastern
One
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon. She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'
Two
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?' The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'
Three
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Bob, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Bob had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Bob,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. 'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Bob is dead!'
Four
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.' 'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room. 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.' No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned! with a sandwich and a beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'
Five
A man walked into a cafe,went to the bar and ordered a beer.'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.' 'One Cent?' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?' 'A nickel,' the barman replied. 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.' The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?' The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'
Six
Jake was dying His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:'I have something I must confess..' 'There's no need to, 'his wife replied...'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace.I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!' 'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work'
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon. She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'
Two
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?' The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'
Three
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Bob, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Bob had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Bob,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. 'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Bob is dead!'
Four
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.' 'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room. 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.' No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned! with a sandwich and a beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'
Five
A man walked into a cafe,went to the bar and ordered a beer.'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.' 'One Cent?' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?' 'A nickel,' the barman replied. 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.' The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?' The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'
Six
Jake was dying His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:'I have something I must confess..' 'There's no need to, 'his wife replied...'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace.I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!' 'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work'
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2009
- Location
- here
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfaRPev8cbA[/youtube]
TheDuchess
Supernova
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2009
- Location
- United states/Eastern
Rubyliday said:
OMG I LOSE!