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Love and Drama at Barnstable High. (MsBloom x CasualVelociraptor)

MsBloom

MsBloom

Moonchild
Joined
Jul 24, 2020
Location
Northern Europe
Friday, March 4th, 2005

"Ok ... I mean I get it ... sort of," Jake said as he opened the door to the Barnstable High's drama club, letting his friend Hayden pass into the red brick building ahead of him.
"But like still though ... while you mostly fit the part of a Moor, whatever that is, Othello was a man and ..."
He hesitated, not knowing how to tell Hayden what they probably already knew themselves.
"Y'know ... you may look the part for that as well, especially with that bulge in your jeans ... but I mean you don't exactly have a male anatomy," he said looking his friend over a if trying to find one detail, however minor, in how they looked at that moment to at least hint at the problem. But in dark grey baggy jeans with a subtle but definitely noticeable hint of a bulge in their crotch a red knitted turtle neck sweater that didn't much hint at covering anything but a flat chest. Jake knew that Hayden sometimes wrapped their breasts and assumed that was the reason there was no outline of them through the shirt, he couldn't really find one. Their short hair, neatly combed to the side, completed what was to the outside world perhaps a illusion but to Hayden a truer identity than the one Jake was suggesting might be an issue in being cast as the lead role of Shakespeare's Othello.

Hayden turned to look at their friend. They knew that their friend accepted them for who they were but also that he struggled to understand exactly what that meant.
"I mean it's not like It's a nude part now is it, not like I'll be running around the stage in my birthday suit. Don't worry. It'll be fine."
They turned again and walked down the short corridor to the rehearsal stage with long confident strides.
"And besides back in the day all female roles were played by young men in drag anyhow so why can't we do the opposite four centuries later?"

They opened the door to the rehearsal stage, stepped through it and looked around at the rest of the drama club sitting in a circle with the script in front of them, some even had books on the play at the ready. What was in favour of them actually getting the leading role was that there was not a sight of dark skin anywhere else in the group of teenagers chatting silently amongst themselves. They walked up to the whiteboard where all the roles were written down and where the members of the club could sign up for the role they were interested in and even though there was already two names signed to Othello, two male names, they added their own as a third. Jake also signed his name to the board. His first hand choice was to play Iago but he also signed his name to play Cassio.
 
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Friday, March 4th, 2005

"C'mon, girl," Danny Hidayat, Annika Frederikke Nilssen's best friend, pleaded with her just across from the door to the drama club. "Don't dawdle, or they'll kick you out of the audition pool for being late!"

They'd met when Danny decided to ditch his jock friends on the swim team and sat with her at lunch, and Annika had wondered if he was another plant her father had paid off to hang out with her.

Yet, they'd quickly bonded over both being new arrivals to the US- she from Sweden in 2002 when her father decided to start his company, he from Indonesia with his family just after the tsunamis in December 2004. Both had therefore started in the middle of the 2005 school year in Barnstable, Massachusetts. Then their bond deepened by playing Burnout Legends for the PSP in ad-hoc multiplayer at the launch of the system, and via a mutual love of acting, to a wave of snickers behind both their backs for different reasons.

Annika acted the part of a calm, ordinary, put-together girl every day by silencing her body's impulses, and had allowed herself to let loose only through acting in her village's shadow plays of famous Norse myths, but had never acted with a script or much direction. Meanwhile, Danny acted the part of a boy always comfortable with the social scene here who always knew how to navigate social tangles when her acting failed, and a man who never failed to be perceived as masculine despite his love of the theater and video games.

But Annika still had her misgivings with all of this. "I can barely keep up the one identity. How am I supposed to play Desdemona when I just finished reading the book last night?" And even then, she had to have the modern English translation notes next to her. She had studied English extensively since grammar school, and yet shared the confusion of many native English speakers in the US at Shakespeare's English.

"How did you inhabit Thor, or Freyja, or Loki?" Daniel asked. "How did I, an Indonesian kid who's never been anywhere near Venice, pull off a convincing Shylock? You give a piece of yourself that most closely relates to who the character is, and let the character do the rest. That's what I shall do for Iago!" he declared, cocking his head back with the great pompousness that the character was known for.

Maybe, he thought, playing new people, with new people, will get her out of her shell. When they see how talented she is...

The director soon grouped everyone by the characters they were supposed to audition for. One of the other Desdemonas, a conventionally pretty Stepford blonde with long hair, was giving her best bubbly smile to a redhead whose freckles were flaring with laughter. Meanwhile, though, Annika was staring in profound awe at the group of Othellos. But not because of the two men, who Annika was just puzzled to see were white men when clearly Moorish people were at least a deep shade of tan.

Since she was a young girl, Annika had always preferred the company and the aesthetic of the fairer sex. She could detect that feminine mystique emanating from the third Othello. But there was also such strength...such aloofness...such solitary majesty from that woman (Annika thought). She knew women could be strong, could be defiantly themselves, could be protective, and she had exerted those traits plenty herself when hunting deer with her father, flying helicopters, or standing up to bullies back in Övre Sopporo. But who was this would-be Othello, who could exude such a technicolor aura? And why was she suddenly really wanting to play Desdemona beside "her" (again, so Annika thought)?

Especially when she knew that Desdemona's love for Othello ultimately destroyed her?
 
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The last two to arrive was a pair as odd as they and Jake were, an Asian guy with a clearly muscular body, Hayden would guess swimmer from the shape and size of his upper body or possibly a Greco-Roman wrestler, it was the girl at his side though that caught her eye, a pale brunette with a moderate chest (yes that was where their eyes first went) and glasses that covered most of the middle of her face but which fit her looks very well. Both of them were more or less unknown to Hayden and they figured they must have transferred schools mid-term.

They nudged Jake and nodded in the direction of the new arrivals and he smiled.
"Oh he's cute," he said and leaned in close to Hayden.
"And so is she," he whispered.
Hayden could only nod to confirm his assumption that they agreed with him and as they too smiled they hoped that this girl would audition for and get the role of Desdemona. Not because there was much physical intimacy as such between the married couple in the play but the very idea of playing the girl's husband was enough to give them a warm fuzzy feeling.

"Alright group," said the drama teacher, a rather petite dark-haired woman in her mid-forties, who would also be directing the play.
"Now that you have all been sorted by which role you have applied for I think it is only fair to start with those of you having applied for the leads and with that we will start with the three auditioning for the title role. Brett Daly, Jordan Miller and Hayden Wright."
She looked away from the sign up board at the group of Othellos, tilted her head too the side. To her eye there were three problems with the group. Two of them were not dark-skinned, a common issue with the role that even Shakespeare had faced back in his time. This could of course be fixed with thick layers of make up on the face and hands as it often was in such situations. The third was indeed dark-skinned but beneath the short hair and the clearly masculine presentation there was something feminine about this applicant.
"How about we start with you Hayden," she said and gave the androgynous teen a nod.

Hayden had prepared Othello's speech from act 5 scene 2, just before he smothers Desdemona with a pillow, convinced that she has been unfaithful to him with his Lieutenant Cassio and with confident strides, no script in hand they took the stage, took a moment to prepare mentally and get into character, their head lowered and eyes closed.
"It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul. Let me not name it to you, you chaste stars," they began with a deep voice as they raised their head up, eyes open and looked straight at the brunette who, as they had hoped, had applied to audition for the role of Desdemona.
 
This woman's voice was very deep, commanding, arresting even. Annika was spellbound looking into "her" hazel eyes. This WAS Othello, as if sprung to life right on the stage of the Globe Theatre from the mind of Will Shakespeare himself! And Annika felt a swelling in her heart as all the neurodivergent nerves of her mind lit up and hyperfixated on the idea of becoming Desdemona. Of crying her heart out for her husband.

So, without the director's call to recite any specific lines, that's exactly what she did once the speech was over. "Who's there? Othello?" she asked in a small voice, from memory, and with an added yawn since Desdemona was waking up in that scene.

It turned out that reading the book had in fact stuck with her in the same way that facts about the history of the entire world, or the proper caliber of rifle round to use to shoot a reindeer in the heart, or the proper speed to break free of a helicopter's ground effect and get properly airborne would.
 
The thing that had led Hayden to join the drama club, or rather had allowed themselves to be convinced to do so by Jake, was that for as long as they could remember they had had a tendency to actually take on the persona of certain characters from literature after having read about them. This was to many around them, their mother included, often annoying, but it was part of their neurodivergent brain absorbed information. The same way they seemed to memorise music after having heard a piece only once, the way they memorised traps, tricks and minute details in videogames. The former was something their father, who was a jazz drummer based in New Orleans, was convinced they had inherited from him, the latter had earned them the moniker Queen of Nerds, along with their ability to absorb all and any kind of information, regardless of how useless in the modern world.

Othello's speech while deciding to kill his, presumed, unfaithful wife over a lost handkerchief was no different. It flowed from them with easy and naturally, as if it was Othello himself and not they who spoke the words. The deep voice with which they delivered the speech was also Othello's not theirs, not their natural voice at least, nor even a rehearsed voice but one that came naturally with assuming the role.
"So sweet was ne'er so fatal. I must weep. But they are cruel tears. This sorrow's heavenly. It strikes where it doth love. She wakes."
They concluded the speech and turned to look behind them where they imagined the bed on which Desdemona slept would be.
"Who's there? Othello?" a small, almost fragile, voice then came from below the stage and perhaps it should surprise them, cause them to turn back around and ask: "What?"
Instead, without missing a beat they took a step closer to the imaginary bed and the imaginary Desdemona, whose voice they were sure, even without looking, came from the brunette they hoped to play against.
"Ay, Desdemona." they replied and squatted down as if to place themselves on level with the one who had spoken but still remained in profile to the audience.

Thus the dialogue between the two continued and with each exchange of lines the girl came to them on stage, each line delivered naturally as if they were just having a conversation, each line building up a natural tension between them.
"But while I say one prayer!" the cute brunette spoke softly yet with a hint of resignation to her voice.
"It is too late," Hayden replied and leaned over the girl mimicking holding a pillow to smother her.

It was at that moment, when the next line was neither Othello's nor Desdemona's but Emilia's that the almost hypnotic spell under which they had acted out the scene was broken.
 
Kate O'Donnell had never seen such an astounding performance between an Othello and Desdemona in her entire life. When even Brett Daly and Jordan Miller, who had been excellent performers in past productions, were clapping their approval along with the rest of the prospects, she knew she had a star that would exhaust her ticket rolls.

Still, the brunette had cheated the other girls out of an opportunity to show their chemistry with Ms. Wright, not to mention undermined Ms. O'Donnell's own authority in front of everyone, by auditioning before being called. She couldn't let her production slide into chaos just because some teenager thought she was hot to trot.

"Everyone, please welcome Hayden Wright to the company as Othello!" she exclaimed. "But as for you...what was your name?"

"Annika Frederikke Nilssen," Annika said with a beaming smile.

"Thank you for coming out today. You're dismissed."

"B-but this is an audition. I auditioned, didn't I?!" Annika started to sniff, eyes quickly welling as emotions began to overwhelm her.

"I didn't ask you to, yet. You have talent, it's true- but if you can't even wait your turn, how are you expected to follow the choreography and stage directions? Now, if you'll excuse us..."

"THIS ISN'T FAIR!" Annika yelled, thrusting her arms down to her sides stiffly and giving a single stomp of her foot, then clapped her hands over her mouth as she recoiled in horror at her outburst.

"So, what? Cutting in front of the line is fair? And throwing a temper tantrum like a spoiled child is going to make me change my mind? If you don't leave my theater this instant, then I'll drag you to the principal's office myself by your ear."

"What a fucking spaz," the blonde Desdemona, Gwyn, snickered. At the same time, Patty made the "cuckoo" sign with her pointer finger next to her head.

"Nobody. I myself. Farewell. Commend me to my kind Lord. Oh farewell!" Annika cried once she took a moment to calm down, throwing Desdemona's last lines of the play back at Ms. O'Donnell as she turned to exit stage front, and leaving the director to stew in her own tyrannical juices.

Meanwhile, Danny walked beside Annika with a comforting arm around her trembling shoulders, staring daggers at anyone who had the gall to point and laugh at his best friend.
 
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The moment the scene was all played out as far as was possible and Ms O'Donnell welcomed them to the company announcing them as Othello Hayden smiled. It had perhaps been unexpected to them to be able to act out the entire dialogue with the Desdemona of their hopes. They were for a few brief moments absolutely certain that the next words from the drama teacher would be to announce the brunette as Desdemona but she didn't. Instead she dismissed the girl. She stood up and looked curiously, uncomprehending, at the teacher. The brunette, Annika Frederikke Nilssen, as they now learned her name was, had been absolutely brilliant in her interpretation of the poor young venetian beauty so wrongfully accused of infidelity, so cruelly betrayed by her chambermaid. They had felt the chemistry between the two of them as if they had truly been Othello the Moor and his beloved wife, both betrayed by people they trusted.

While listening to Ms O'Donnell explain her reasons for the dismissal Hayden stared at the other two who had hoped to audition for the role of Desdemona. Bot seemed to them to be the kind of girls who relied more on their looks to make it as actresses than on their wits, personality and actual acting skills. The redhead perhaps more than the blonde but it was a tied race really.
"Nobody. I myself. Farewell. Commend me to my kind Lord. Oh farewell!"

The words, Desdemona's final lines before dying, were almost perfectly delivered, just how Hayden had imagined Annika would deliver them in character. And then she quietly sobbing walked down the stairs from the stage and continued walking towards the door.
"Hey, wait!" Hayden called out and with a defiant look at the drama teacher ran down the same steps and caught up with Annika just before she reached the door.
They blocked her way but did open the door and looked up at Ms O'Donnell, still standing on stage with her arms folded under her breasts.
"Fairly auditioned or not. Those girls still have a chance at proving themselves worthy Desdemonas, as unlikely as they are to succeed. Or hast thou realised as I that they will fail. That there exists only one Desdemona in this room?"
They delivered the speech in a language similar to that of the play and for some reason in a voice similar to that in which they had spoken as Othello.
"Dismiss mine Desdemona and I, your Othello, too walk out this door, closing it behind us and thou hast seen the last of me."
They then backed theatrically out the door, all in accordance to the age old theatrical rule to never turn your back on the audience.
 
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Ms. O'Donnell glared at Hayden with the intensity that Queen Elizabeth I may have scrutinized Mr. Shakespeare's original works in her royal box. She had to give the "girl" points for originality on this one

"The only drama I need is on the stage, Ms. Wright. Get out. Now," Ms. O'Donnell grumbled while waving both the troublemakers off. She just had to hope that the two White men who had cheered for Hayden's performance would be able to give it their all, that Gwyn and Patty could act more than just jealous...and that she hadn't made a horrible mistake.

Danny seemed a little hesitant upon reaching the threshold of the door that would take him from the world of the Bard and mold him once again into a typical teenager in the rest of this boring school. And so, he asked, "Would you mind terribly if I still auditioned for the part of Iago?" He hadn't signed up for any other part, while at least that entitled looking blonde boy had Cassio as a backup.

"Mind? Danny, getting into this play was as much your dream as it was mine. Feel free," Annika smiled, blinking away tears.

As soon as Danny dashed off to return to the group of eager, young aspiring thespians, Annika darted off into the girls' bathroom to cry, head held tightly in her hands to muffle her sobs until then.
 
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As his friend made their rather dramatic exit, which to some extent he didn't quite understand the reason for and yet he did, he had seen the chemistry between them and that brunette with the tongue-twisting name on stage, Jake simply lifted his eyebrows as a question mark and received the subtlest of nods in return. There was no reason for him to leave just because Hayden did. The two of them might be BFFs but they were in no way joined at the hips even if at times they might seem to be.

"Alright," Ms O'Donnell said once Hayden had closed the door behind Annika and themselves.
"Next to audition for Othello then ... Brett."
And you better do a hell of a job of it, she thought to herself knowing that the best amateur Othello she had seen in her life had just walked out the door along with what was probably the best amateur Desdemona. But rules were rules and if Hayden Wright wanted to throw away her chance at playing one of Shakespeare's more iconic leading roles and break the gender barrier doing so then that was her choice.

Brett Daly did a most competent interpretation of Othello and so did Jordan Miller, but neither of them reached the passion and expression Hayden had shown. For this reason she simply stated that she would decide who would replace her after som consideration.

Next up was the audition for Desdemona and in the eyes of Ms O'Donnell it was an even worse disaster, neither of the two girls show much talent for acting. They had not even bothered to actually learn their speeches by heart but read them from the script. As she thanked the last of them for their audition adding the same need to consider who to cast she then asked the Iagos to prepare for their auditions and excused herself saying she needed to use the bathroom.

Meanwhile Hayden had asked Annika to join them in a coffee across the street.
"It's mine and Jake's usual haunt. They are not quite as judging there as they are in some other places around Barnstable. I mean you're ok, even though you're a foreigner cause you're white and all that. Around here there might be maybe a handful people of colour other than me and my mum."
 
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"Ah, so you're friends with the one blonde that hasn't been mean to me today? Then you and I are cool, Hayden," Annika chuckles. She'd picked up a few small cues in her short time in America that could endear her to someone if she remembered to use them correctly. Laid-back sarcasm not directed at anyone in particular was one of them. "You know, it's interesting...you're the first person of color I've seen in the United States since I've moved here three years ago. Barnstable must therefore be very White. Granted, I could go over to Martha's Vineyard as I hear a lot of Black American people vacation there. But what's also interesting is that I think we may have a different definition of color in Sweden than in America...you see, one of my best school friends was is Sami.

"Her name was Diinná Lávrrahaš. The Sami people are historically not a racial minority, rather an ethnic Urgic minority within Europe most closely related to Hungarians as well as to Finns, and we usually thought more in terms of ethnicity and not 'race'....but they tend to be tanner than us walking snow folk!" Annika now joked. "Rather like the tanning cream I saw Brett Daly and Jordan Miller carry around...is that normal?"

"Anyhow, I'm learning so many interesting things about America. Like that you can give the best performance of your life from a combination of your heart and a book that speaks to you better than anything you've ever read before that has everyone on their feet for you...and you can still be disqualified because of a technicality!" Annika then fumed as they walked between the school's two athletic fields that were abandoned in the rapidly dwindling day afterschool, eyes welling with tears in frustration. Somehow, she realized that Hayden wouldn't judge her for feeling this way, for venting. For being a 17-year-old rather than a 25-year-old in a 17-year-old's body.

"I took off. From. Work!" Annika screamed into her hands. "I work after school and do all my homework on the weekends because during the week I fly helicopter tours with my father. I took off to be in this woman's silly play, and, and what do I get? Nothing! Meanwhile, he'll have to fly this 10, maybe even 12-hour day by himself and will be too tired for a whole week to keep on top of expenses and his business's books, because he still has to work at least 6 hours flying a helicopter whether I'm in school or not. And he, he said to go off and audition because he knows that acting is what I really want to do with my life!"

Now Annika just crouched down on her haunches and started to sob.
 
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As they had explained about the café and the fact that there weren't that many people of colour in Barnstable their voice had changed from the deep, almost thundering, voice of Othello to their more natural low tenor and by the time they were back out the street, listening to Annika talk about how they were the first person of colour she had met in the US, which perhaps said something about how sheltered she was, and how they might have different definitions of people of colour before talking about her Sami friend. Hayden had to admit that she had no concept of the Sami people or the Ugric for that matter but that didn't really matter. It still seemed that these people were a minority that were somehow treated differently to the walking snowmen, an expression that caused a hearty chuckle from Hayden, for the sake of being different. At least that was the impression they got from the brief information Annika gave about them.
"I think we may just have a different definition of the idea yes," they agreed with the pale brunette.
"People of colour, at least to me, is in short all non-whites be they African, Arabic, Indian, Hispanic, Asian or Native American. And by your description perhaps the Sami would fit that definition as well."
They then shrugged as if the next part was something that couldn't really be done anything about.
"As for the tanning cream I wouldn't say it is normal these days but in small white communities like this sometimes necessary I suppose. That bitch would be hard pressed to deliver a credible Othello without it or me. Even the bard himself allegedly faced similar challenges when performing the play back in his day. The first known non-white actor to assume the role onstage was Ira Aldridge back in 1825, before that, blackened faces was the norm."
They sighed at Annika's next statement which had her fuming again, like she had been back in the drama club's rehearsal stage.
"Well that's the US for you. Or rather that's entitled drama teachers for you. For what it's worth I thought your were brilliant, that's why I walked out the way I did. No way I'm wasting my Othello on an inferiour Desdemona, like those other two bitches auditioning for the role."

Then as Annika really broke down over the dismissal Hayden just stood there at first looking at her dissolving in front of them. It wasn't that they were unsure about what to to. It was more that they were usually uncomfortable with physical touch, hugs were certainly not their favourite way of greeting someone or saying goodbye. But with the right person it was different. They did let Jake hug them when they went their separate ways after all and he was certainly special to them, almost like a brother, despite his obvious paleness.
"Hey," they said softly and stepped close enough to Annika to touch her, to wrap their arms around her. They didn't yet though but rather just stood there looking into her eyes listening to her vent about her after school work, about her dad having to fill in for her and how that would affect them both. When Annika dropped to her haunches Hayden too squatted down, knees wide apart on either side of Annika's and it was then they decided to challenge themselves and give the poor girl a hug.
"Hey," they repeated softly.
"It's alright y'know. To be emotional."
Despite this reassurance there were plenty of kids on their way home or to after school activities that turned and looked with a roll of the eyes. Most of them just kept walking and some even hurried when Hayden glared at them across Annika's shoulders.
 
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The reassuring touch that Annika felt from Hayden, coupled with her kind and understanding words, served to soothe her emotions before she accrued fatal levels of embarrassment from being seen to be bawling like a toddler. "Usually, my father says- to complain is to draw too much attention. I love that man to death, but he just does not get it. You? You seem like you get it."

"A-Anyhow, why should we let this setback stop us from being Othello and Desdemona? After all, I have a feeling that she'll come crawling back to us to beg for our return, and when we are preparing to do that, we ought to behave as they would, no? To get into character, I mean."

"Maybe not the exact actions- I don't imagine being smothered by a pillow is at the top of my list of 'favorite ways to die'," Annika giggled into her hands as her face turned red for an entirely different reason. "But uh...yeah, act as a man of Othello's character would on this coffee date. Make me understand why Desdemona fell in love with him, when that ultimately turned out to be her doom. It was because, I think, her love was much too strong to ever betray Othello, even going so far as to only feebly attempt to acquit herself in order to let him be right in a world that wouldn't give him the time of day. At least, that's my interpretation. But he had to have been charming, debonair, sweet, very desirous of her...but in a restrained fashion, and above all honorable to win Desdemona's hand, no? Otherwise, why risk the social judgment of all of Venetian Cyprus?"

"Now that I think about it, it could be a very extreme type of method acting that maybe we don't do?" Annika asked, though the way she was still panting excitedly in the cold night air of the extended Barnstable winter- though with nary much snow in this area- as they approached the coffee shop, it was something she wanted to do very much.
 
"It sounds like he doesn't, no, but yes, you are right. I suppose I do get it a little better than most you'll meet here at Barnstable High."
Hayden explained that they had similar issues with both a lack of impulse control and emotional instability, though rather than breaking down in tears like Annika had done they more often got angry, as they had in the face of Ms O'Donnell's unjust dismissal. They also understood the sometimes crippling inability to read social cues. Asperger's Syndrome the doctors back in Cambridge had called it.

They helped Annika to her feet and as they continued to the café Hayden nodded as Annika spoke about staying in character as a way to explore the roles they might very well be reassigned once Ms O'Donnell realised her mistake. To take those characters outside the confines of the words written for them.
"Alas fair maiden, I've heard word that suggest drowning to be the most pleasurable manner by which to have one's life ended. Although this can perchance also be true of other forms of asphyxiation," Hayden responded, their voice now deeper once again, the way it had as they had stood on the small stage speaking the actual words of Othello.
"I fear you are right my sweetest. I also fear that was her undoing, not by her own machinations or design but through Othello's, misguided as he might have been by the treacherous Iago."

As they began crossing the street Hayden took out their Ipod from the left pocket of their jeans and began browsing the playlists on it, they elaborated further on this.
"There is this old ass fuck song I thought of that has this line in it that might have been a very fitting last words from Othello to Desdemona."
They paused briefly and something like a smile lingered briefly on their lips.
"Here it is. Warning by Aynsley Dunbar Retaliation. It's about some guy whose girl has cheated on him and left him. The chorus goes: I was warned about you baby but my feelings were a little bit to strong. Now Othello was warned about taking Desdemona to be his bride, and so was she. Mostly perhaps due to the interracial aspect."
Here they paused again as they now stood at the counter inside the café. They ordered their usual from the young man who served them a large mug of steaming hot coffee and a halved, toasted bagel dry. Whether the man knew anything about Hayden's issues with mixing food together down to the point where even a spread of unflavoured cream cheese on a toasted bagel was beyond them to eat or not was unclear though. He simply served the order with a smile.

It was not until they were seated at a table by the window, right next to the door, that they continued this thought.
"However. The twain both had feelings that were strong enough for them to ignore such warnings. In the case of Desdemona they would have meant a lifelong, unconditional, devotion to her Moorish husband. In the case of Othello though even the most minute suspicion about his wife having feelings for another man drove him to murder, simply because he could not stand to live with that suspicion, regardless how false it turned out to be. He would never have stopped suspecting his beloved of faithlessness to him."
 
"I feel like there's a...much more intimate way one might smother their lover, and in turn be smothered by them, but that my propriety as a Venetian lady prohibits me from speaking of," Annika said, then giggled lightly behind one hand, the way she imagined the senator's daughter would in an attempt to keep the happiness between them.

"I agree with your assessment about how Desdemona loved him despite all the red flags, or maybe perhaps because of them, as a way of rebelling against her parents, you know? And that song you gave me, dear Prince...reminds me of an epic ballad that explains how Desdemona would be feeling, oh, what is it...?" Annika wondered in her lilting Italian accent, as even her encyclopedic brain was struggling to keep up with the musical knowledge Hayden had brought to bear.

Instead of naming the tune, pulling it out on her PSP like she knew she wanted to, and going into depth about why it worked for Desdemona's character, Annika started singing it out in the middle of the coffee shop, putting all her concentration into trying not to belt it out in ways that she'd picked up on a few years ago. But there was no escaping the sounds of any of it in the coffee shop anyhow due to its small size.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
So much for my happy ending
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
So much for my happy ending
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Let's talk this over, it's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging in a city so dead
Held up so high on such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending
You've got your dumb friends, I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult, but so are they
But they don't know me, do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me, all the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you care
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
So much for my happy ending
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
So much for my happy ending
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh"

A couple of people in the coffee shop applauded her singing of Avril Lavigne's Happy Ending, a smash hit on all the charts from last year. Only a couple people rolled their eyes at her and gave her the old "look at this crazy girl" look and chuckle. But few people realized that Annika was really performing a (very rough) approximation of what Desdemona would likely be saying and feeling if her ghost could talk, or she had gotten just one more day to rage (to herself, in a monologue) about the troubles that she had been subjected to by Othello's hand.
 
"Indeed, something to that very effect," Hayden said as Annika stopped singing.
They did of course recognise the song which had been on every radiostation most of last summer but the way Annika sang it, softer and without the grunge guitars it came out more like a lament, not only of love lost but of a life lost to love, because of feelings that were just a little bit too strong, on both parts. There was also something to the idea that Desdemona had become Othello's bride and wife not only for the sake of a deep love but also to rebel against her parents. In those days the concept of marrying for love was an unusual one. Most marriages were more like business agreements and it was not impossible at all that Desdemonas father had intended to marry her off to a neighbouring country's prince to establish and ensure peace but instead Desdemona chose Othello. It was of course also not entirely impossible that Othello had demanded Desdemona's hand in marriage as part of a peace treaty with Venice and only later fallen maddeningly in love with her.
"Now here is a braintickler for you my noble Princess of Sweden; Desdemona," They said and very poshly sipped their coffee, tapped the paper napkin against their lips the way they had seen their maternal grandmother do.
"Would there have been a way for the innocent and lovely Desdemona to have escaped her fate and had her happy ending? Would there have been anything she could have done to still Othello's raging jealousy and convince him she was not a faithless wife?"
 
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"Not with words, clearly," Annika sighed, crossing her arms protectively over her chest, the way she used to sleep as a child, as she began to deeply empathize with Desdemona's lack of agency over her own life, inability for anyone to hear her declarations and take her statements seriously. "Once Othello became determined that his own wife should die, few counsels of men would have soothed his temper," she continued to lament, leaning over her hands that were crossed over her heart to make herself seem and feel more vulnerable.

"But perhaps, if Othello had still ignored all the proof that she was faithful, she could've proved it," Annika said. "In that natural, animal method of connecting with one's beloved, if you understand my meaning. Perhaps taken off her clothes and just leapt up to him to kiss him, beg for him to be inside her, to feel that she had not been loosened by another. That would be Desdemona’s final proof- the continued sanctity of her body. It could’ve allowed Othello to cut down on his stress by releasing some of it in her womb, and perhaps allowed them to finally understand each other through the power of makeup sex.”

Annika tried to be very clinically humorous when describing what was going on, but was now starting to get herself flushed. Why, she wasn’t sure, since she definitely didn’t like men…
 
"Certainly not with words. Mere words would not be able to penetrate Othello's jealous madness or his rage against her alleged infidelity towards him. In many ways a typically male attitude, then as now."
Hayden shrugged and turned to look at their reflection in the window, contemplating their own masculinity, which of course must be different to that of someone born male. Gender identity was quite confusing to them and had been since even before puberty. They'd always been viewed as a tomboy, preferring boys over girls for friends and vice versa for crushes. Nothing wrong with that their mum and dad both had told them. Since that talk when they were 11 they had decided they were lesbian, but lately, the last few years they had begun to re-evaluate that decision. It didn't feel quite right. It was something else, something that didn't only have to do with attraction but also with not feeling entirely like a girl but also not entirely like a boy. They had had that feeling as long as they could remember but they hadn't thought too much about it before late one night Jake had made a comment about them being more of a guy than he was. It had probably been a joke based on a burping contest or some such silliness.

They pondered Annika's suggested alternate ending, how Desdemona saved herself through sex, proving to her husband that no other man had been inside her. They were reasonably sure that it would not have been a gentle act of making love. Othello would have prodded her insides roughly with his member, taking possession of Desdemona's soft warm vagina as it willingly allowed him to do exactly that, at it and the rest of Desdemona submitted to him, to his love.

"I wonder how differently the story would have unfolded had it been set in the present time," they said and turned back to look at Annika, seeing the frailty of her pose, looking just like the innocently judged Desdemona.
"A man like Othello living today would not be at all implausible of course. There are probably more men like him in the world than there are those different from him, who see their wives as theirs, as possessions. But ..."
They took a sip from their coffee and having noticed the change in Annika, seeing her face redden ever so slightly from the alternate ending she had described.
"Think about it what if Othello was not all male ego but had a feminine side as well. He might then actually take in the protests of innocence from his betrayed wife and forgiven her for the indiscretions she had not committed. Perhaps instead of Desdemona throwing herself at him to prove her innocence through sexual submission he would perhaps have gon down on her and pleasured her orally. It would of course, from a strictly dramatic perspective, have been a rather boring end and the play probably wouldn't have survived 400 years and some."
 
"Well, at least typically male for the United States," Annika pointed out. "I'm sure it exists in Sweden too, but I didn't see enough of that country to say for sure how it is over here by comparison." She was nervous to be seen as a know-it-all like she had been accused of, but something told her that Hayden was the kind of woman (or so she thought) who could hold her own in a conversation without feeling attacked.

Still, there was another reason that Annika hadn't known what male jealousy felt like- because she didn't associate with them much and hadn't considered any of them close friends until Danny. Thankfully, most of the girls had been willing to at least be her acquaintance back in her hometown despite her unusual affect and vastly different hobbies of riding in helicopters shooting deer one moment and being part of a play the next. In fact, contrary to what the lifestyle was here in the posh Barnstable suburb, most of the women assisted their fathers and mothers with at least some more manual labor than the average American, while many of the young men cooked, cleaned, and etc.- it all depended on what the person wanted to do. Still, Annika always felt guilty when she wanted to hug her dearest friends just a little longer, maybe got a little too excited in her voice to see them or was worried that she wasn't at least trying to make her long-suffering old man happy by showing some interest in the few boys that did come calling, if only to eventually give him grandchildren. Then Diinná's smooth, tanned curves put a fork in her heart when it came to men...

...and Hayden now reminded her of why, with talk of Othello going down on Desdemona making her cross her legs- tight. One of her first ever fantasies in puberty had been of Diinná doing the same thing to her in the woods, how nature had intended. She absolutely loved the idea, could not get enough. The vulnerability that she'd feel and yet the power trip of being serviced in such a manner, in addition to or even instead of being finger blasted to orgasm by a considerate partner had made lesbian cunnilingus an obsession in her nightly porn watch. She initially thought about joking about that, but since she couldn't tell if Hayden was straight or not due to being inexperienced in these things, she held off. All this second-guessing had been why she had been a virgin for so long.

Instead, she deflected. "Well, whether he had a 'feminine' side or not, the biggest difference would be that Othello would probably have asked her to share her location at almost all times." Creepy, but it was in character for what she knew of Othello. "So, therefore, Iago would never have been able to deceive him. Either that or Desdemona could've easily texted him whatever it was she was really doing at the time. So, yeah...not an enduring play, but perhaps a more satisfying ending all around. Perhaps with couples counseling in Act VI."
 
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Hayden smiled widely at the thought of Othello and Desdemona sitting at opposite ends of a therapist's couch doing couple's counselling. It was not an entirely undramatic idea even if of course back in the early1600s it was a non-existent idea so no fault could befall Shakespeare for not having had he idea, though they were reasonably sure that even if he had he would not have explored it. His world was after all a world in which men were Men (whatever that meant) and women mere objects of their desire and obsession.
"So, Othello, tell your wife how it made you feel when you were told that she had been unfaithful to you," Hayden said, mimicking the kind of neutral, soft, voice a couple's counsellor might have used.
"To be honest," they then added in the voice they had used for their audition.
"I felt betrayed. In fact I was so engulfed with a jealous rage that I wanted to kill her for her indiscretion, her faithless betrayal of the most holy vows of marriage."
They chuckled and rolled their eyes.
"Yea that would have gone over well. I wonder what Desdemona's reaction to such a brutal but entirely honest statement from her husband would have been."

They had of course noticed the shift in Annika's pose, noticed how she struggled not to rub her thighs together with one leg over the other, a most efficient and usually quite subtle way of feminine masturbation as they knew very well from having tried it a few times. The problem was not hiding the actual act of masturbation but the ensuing orgasm. Hayden had always been one to have quite intense orgasms ever since they first started experimenting with masturbation. They had no other experience with sex than that. In fact, and this was not something they ever really talked about with anyone, they had never even been kissed, not in that way, not in the way that was supposed to make toes curl and excite the body. They might have mentioned it to Jake late one night during the Christmas holidays when they were watching the stars from the back porch of Hayden's house, high on marijuana brownies, after having been up all night playing World of Warcraft. Jake had played as a female Dwarf paladin and they had played as a male Gnome rogue and had been playing almost obsessively since the game was released about a month earlier.
 
“At least you’re being honest with me now, instead of hiding how you’re feeling?” Annika mock winced as Desdemona responding to Othello’s fake therapy admission. “And please, honey, be more vulnerable with me…I want to regain your trust, without frothing a murderous rage within your soul next time there’s an untruth said about me.” As she said this, Annika reached her pale hand over to gently clasp Hayden’s earthen toned one.

And then Annika got a text on her flip phone from one of the few numbers allowed on it. “It’s my dad. He says dinner’s ready, so I gotta go,” Annika now sighed, looking at Hayden wistfully out of the corner of her eye, having never wanted their little unofficial production of Othello and Desdemona Go to Counseling from ending.
 
Hayden closed their fingers around Annika's hand as she reached for them and smiled, then chuckled at what was both a silly idea of having Othello and Desdemona seek couple's counselling but also a very serious attempt at understanding the characters. The moment, brief as it probably was in real time, when their hands met seemed to last much longer as Hayden's dark brown eyes looked into Annika's pale blue.
"A vulnerable Othello, open to showing and sharing his thoughts and emotions with his, despite all, beloved wife," they said and both intensified and broke the spell by first dragging their thumb over Annika's hand before letting go of it.
"Now there is a thought indeed. Perhaps, had they had access to some serious couples counselling they might have had their happily ever after."

They finished their coffee and stood up as Annika announced that their date was over, except it wasn't a date was it, not really, just two newly found friends having coffee together.
"Where do you live?" they asked and offered to walk them home although they couldn't have explained why had Annika asked.
They simply wanted to cling on to the moment they had shared to last as long as possible.
 
Annika smiled up at her thespian companion for this evening, who she was truly sad to have to part with, in a way she hadn't been when just getting pizza with Danny with their limited off-campus privileges at the shopping center. She couldn't really put her finger on why, but she eagerly took a napkin from the Starbucks and wrote down her home address and phone number. "There! Now you'll never forget," Annika beamed as she almost skipped out of her chair.
 
Hayden looked at the address and nodded. It was quite a bit out of their way but it didn't matter. They were fully intent on seeing Annika safely home, not that there were indications at all that she was in any sort of danger but still. It would mean more time spent in her company. They took out their Motorola Razr v3 and added the number on the napkin to their contact list, stick it back into their back pocket and in an act of chivalry offered the Swedish beauty their arm.
"My car is in the parking lot," they said and began to walk in the direction of the school's parking lot.
"I'll drive you home. Don't want you to be late for dinner, right?"
 
“How charitable and gracious of you to offer safe passage in your horseless carriage, good sir,” Annika chuckled as she took the proffered crook of Hayden’s elbow, then clasped her hands together just above her groin to keep down the impulse to snake one of them towards Hayden’s.

“So…uh…where do you live, exactly? I hope I’m not too far out of your way,” Annika then asked. “I’m more towards the docks, by…” She tried not to giggle too hard. “Spanky’s Clam Shack.”
 
Hayden chuckled, amused by Annika's roundabout and very Shakespearean reference to a car. They also smiled from ear to ear when she called them good sir. Perhaps it was simply a play on the roles they had auditioned for and played around with the last half hour or so but it still felt good to be recognised as male.

"Don't worry about it being out of my way. I live up between Middle Pond and Hamblin Pond but with the speed and comfort of my horseless carriage it is not much of a delay even though we do seem to reside in different parts of this little town."
They took out the key and clicked it which caused the lights to blink on her bright yellow Porsche Carrera S as it unlocked.

In a moment of inspired chivalry they walked around and opened the passenger door for Annika.
"Milady," they said and bowed lightly at the waist holding Annika's hand as she got in.
 
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