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Some Kind of Paradise (butterfly0408/gray)

Roland tried to imagine what she might be feeling at this moment, in order to cause such a reaction from her,and he realized that perhaps he had unsettled her a bit. When she asked for something to do, his initial response was to tell her to simply rest, to give her time to think. However, biting back that response, he wondered if perhaps that would be unwise. She seemed to need to be doing something, and allowed himself to concede that action usually helped keep your mind off these things. For he thought her distress came from the bringing up of painful memories, and not anything personnel happening to her right now.

In any case, he nodded once slowly, inclining his head as he spoke. "Even so, the fact that you've accepted it doesn't make any less horrible." Pausing for a moment, he let the matter drop at that. "In any case, I say you should just get some rest, however.. If you would like, your free to help out Garr in the kitchen, he can always use an extra pair of hands." Smiling briefly here, recalling earlier events, he added, "I don't think it should be a problem, he's a bit less.. imaginative then a certain other." Sighing, he wondered once again what he was going to do with Isabella.

((Forgive me if I misspelled her name.))
 
Eden nodded and went to reach for her clothing. She was after all still wearing only a corset and underskirt. The dress was in poor condition by now, but would have to do until the seamstress brought her other dresses for her. "Thank you master," she said as she quickly dressed and left the room, her gaze not meeting his again as she fled.

It was a cowardly thing to do, but so be it. She could not help herself. She simply had to get away from him right now.

Finding her way to the kitchen, Eden introduced herself to Garr and told him that Master Roland bid her to come help him. Garr gave her instructions to cut vegetables for the evening meal as well as other prep work for Roland's dinner. He'd do all the actual cooking.

Eden lost herself in the tasks given to her. Trying her best to focus on making master's dinner perfect. But her emotions were always haunting her in the back of mind.
 
Watching her go, letting a small smile grace his face, he waited till she was off down the hall to relax, letting out a deep sigh and sinking down down against the wall, letting a hand run through his hair as he tried to give himself a moment to think. What had he been doing? How had he misinterpreted what he felt so foolishly? Now he knew, knew what it was that drew him to Eden, why he was ever trying to think of ways to help her. Yet the thought scarred him, and not for the implication it threw upon his class. Yes, he was a noble, and falling for a slave would be considered a little odd, but that was not his main concern. Sitting there on the stone floor, he recalled the events years before, finding they wouldn't leave him alone this time. It was different, he told himself, this time, she had not found him, but he her, it couldn't happen again, not this time.

It was a weak though however, and Roland, for the first time in what seemed like ages now, felt afraid. How had she done this? No one else before now had been able to move him so much before, to make him feel in such a way. It had snuck up on him he supposed.

Taking a small series of deep breathes, he collected his wits, and stood, once more becoming Lord Roland, master of house Deschaine. Striding out from the room, he went to attend to some small matters he though would be best to get out of the way while dinner was made ready. A few papers to sign, servants to send off with payment to various places and businesses. Finally, he made his way to his chambers, notifying that he would be taking dinner up there tonight if it wasn't to much trouble. Reclining in his chair, he watched as the sun set upon the hills to the west.
 
Just before the sun set below the hills, there was a knock at the door. A moment later, Garr opened the door, and Eden walked in holding the tray with his dinner upon it. Garr came in behind her holding a cup and bottle of wine. Eden put the tray down upon the table in his room while Garr put the cup down and filled it. It was Garr that spoke first, Eden by his side, her head bowed down, eyes from his. "If there anything more we can do for you milord?"
 
Watching them with his lip bit, he gave a quite thank you to the both of them as they set out his dinner. Looking at it, he had to admit it looked quite wonderful, yet he found he wasn't as hungry as he would have thought from the days activities. Pausing a moment as Garr asked him this question, he finally turned his gaze to the pair, seeing Eden's face down turned. Releasing his lip from his teeth he spoke at last, surprised by the calmness and normality of his tone, but glad for it none the less.

"No that should be all, thank you Garr..." Pausing, he frowned lightly and gave a light breathe that might have been a small laugh. "Although, I suppose if you wouldn't mind having to forfeit an assistant for cleaning up, I'd like Eden to stay, I don't have much of an appetite tonight it seems, and I'd appreciate a dinning companion." Smilingly lightly, he motioned to an empty chair by the table, deciding he should at least try and apologize for bringing up her past earlier, thinking she was still a little troubled by it
 
"Of course milord," said Garr with a bow as he left the room, closing the door behind him, leaving them alone.

Eden would have rather avoiding him for the rest of the night. And possibly the next day as well. If it was only going to be sex, it would not be so bad, but she could tell that there was more to what he wanted to do tonight then just sex. Sex was mindless. She could handle being mindless. It was talking that frightened her.

But she could not say no to him. He was still her master after all. Walking to the empty chair, she sat herself down and was quiet. Hands in her lap. Waiting for him to make the first move.
 
For a long time, he was quite, knowing it couldn't hurt either of them to take some time to process the situation, and so he sat down across from her, dishing out the food in equal amounts, eating lightly, not really hungry but recalling that having food in you was good for both the body and mind.

Finally however, he paused, chewing down a piece of bread, and sipping on a glass of wine, not enough to have any real effect on him.

"I'd like to apologize for earlier. I didn't mean to bring up any unpleasant memories." The words hardly did justice to what he felt he needed to say, yet it was all he could manage right now idly twirling his fork in his hand, staring at the reflection in it's metal before look up to her, looking honestly concerned for how she was doing. He knew he should say more, but for the time could not think of anything else he might begin with, and so he waited, wondering if she would speak, or if something would come to him.
 
He was dishing her food, but she was not really eating any of it. She felt sick from this whole thing. And then suddenly there it was. Bringing it all up again. She sighed and closed her eyes as she listened to all he had to say. Why did he have to bring it up again? If he kept doing this, she'd be unable to keep her emotions contained forever. As it was, she could feel herself wanting to break. Wanting to, but she'd not allow it.

"There is no need to apologize. As I said before. There is nothing to be sorry for." She shook her head slightly, "What is, is. It's a fact of a slaves life. I told you before. I accept it. And it will be much easier for us both if you do as well."
 
Nodding his head lightly as she spoke, he knew she was right, but he still felt he'd needed to apologize. "I know, but regardless of whether it's accepted or not, it wasn't polite of me to bring it up, for that I'm sorry." Shrugging lightly, as if he couldn't help it, which, in truth, he really couldn't. Taking another moment of silence, he looked out the window, once more glad for the wonderful view it afforded.

Looking back to her, he felt a surge of that affection he had recently found was there in bulk, and was hard pressed to contain it, hardly able to believe he had missed such an overwhelming feeling. "In any case, you seem... a little put out recently. Are you alright?" Tilting his head lightly as he asked, his inner turmoil was replaced by concern. She said she was alright with everything, yet it seemed as if she were troubled by something else as well.
 
Was he catching on to it? To her feelings? Would he laugh at her? Surely he wouldn't. Then again, she hardly knew him. He could laugh. She could tell him. Not yet. Not ever! And so she covered herself as best she could, "It's just that I am not use to this kind of... situation. You are not like any other master I have ever had or even heard of before. I don't know how to please you. I've never been unable to keep my master pleased before. It's very.... frustrating." She quickly shut her mouth. How stupid she was to speak up like that! Stupid!
 
Hearing her words, he wondered if that was really all there was too it. Regardless, he gave a weak sort of smile, looking out the window once more before tilting his head in her direction, thinking how to best answer such a statement. Truthfully, he supposed, as was becoming his policy with her.

"..It's not really that hard..." Pausing for a moment, he gave another small smile, amazed by how often he seemed to do this in her presence. "You've done more then I could ask already, but if you must know... Just attempt to be happy." Shrugging, he went on to explain. "I know not all people think such, but for myself, the greatest security comes from knowing those close to you are content and happy, if they are, you need not worry about... lots of things." These last words, spoken after a pause, seemed almost rushed, as if he'd almost said something else. Which was true. Shaking his head and chuckling, he shrugged again. "In any case. I enjoy your company."
 
"I... I enjoy... yourcompanytoo..." she started off slow and stumbling over her words, but by the time she got to the last few words, she was blurting the words out quickly. What was hard about confessing such a thing? For a normal girl, nothing, but for a slave. It was one of the most difficult things she had ever admitted.

After that, there was an uneasy silence in the room. "So... what do we do now?" she asked in a voice almost like a whisper.
 
The gratitude of hearing those words, the truth he herd behind them, forced a warm and content smile to his face. thankful she had been able to overcome her compulsions as a slave enough to say such a thing truthfully. In any case, he saw that this was likely difficult for her, and knew asking any more of her tonight would be cruel.

"We don't have to do anything really... It's been a long day, for both of us I think, and pacing oneself as important, or so I'm told." Trying to make his words light and goodhearted.
 
((No worries, it happens.))

Shrugging, he lifted his glass, taking another sip from his wine, eying the last ray of the sun as it finally fully set over the hills, casting the sunset in a rather interesting view. "I'll leave that up to you, if your tired thats fine, or if you'd like to stay, that would be alright as well." He honestly meant this, not wanting to put any pressure on her right now, knowing it might be unwise. And, if truth be told, he was fearful of furthering the matter himself, still trying to fight that lingering voice that had risen ever since he'd realized his attraction to her was more then physical.

In any case, he rose from his seat, taking a small box of matches and lighting the lanterns depending from the walls around the room, casting it in a warm glow as he went about, more to give himself something to do then to actually provide light to the darkening chambers.
 
Her heart wanted her to stay. Her heart wanted to spend the night in his arms and let him take away the pain she felt inside.

But her head told her that was a stupid thing to want when he would just give her away in time. "If that is the case then... I bid you good night master..." she said as she rose and bowed her head to him before started to depart the room to return to her own.
 
Admittedly, as he saw her rise and begin to leave, Roland was a little sad to see her go, but a moment thought told him he needn't be so silly, he'd see her later of course, so he had nothing to worry about. Still, it was with regret that he replied. "Very well then. Sleep well." Keeping his tone light still, not wanting to trouble her.

Having finished lighting the lanterns, he let himself turn to watch her go, not knowing what to do as she left. Perhaps he should read for awhile, after all, after this next day, he might be a bit busier then these last few days had been.
 
"Good night master," she said, trying to keep her voice neutral as she exited, closing the door behind her. Before she knew it, Eden was back in her room once again. With nothing to wear, she stripped herself naked for bed. There had been a fire lit in the fireplace so the room was free of a chill. She was about to crawl into her bed when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

She took the time to stand before it and just look at herself. She stared for a long while. Her hands running over the few scars that had strayed to her front before her hands brushed over her belly. She remembered what it felt like when her baby was inside her. Her eyes instantly filled with tears.

Never would she forget having life in her and then having it taken away before she could even hold it in her hands. Eden had lied for she thought of her baby every day. Turning quickly from her reflection in the mirror, she ran and put herself into bed, sliding under the covers and holding the tears in. She would not cry. She could NOT cry.
 
As Eden was looking at herself in the mirror, Roland was doing likewise, as chance would have it, although his mode of reflection was the window. Even with a mirror only a few feet away, he preferred this reflection, one that showed himself, with the background simply a blur of the dark scenery outside, and a few lights around the room. Raising a hand, he placed it over his own scar, feeling his heartbeat seem to skip ahead of itself, as though it had tried to rush forward from it's place.

Closing his eyes, banishing the troublesome images before him, he raised the hand from his chest to his eyes, lightly rubbing them as he sat down in upon the edge of his bed. the days events, and the day before that, passed through his head, and in truth, he found it hard to believe it had only been two days since he had brought her home with him.

Letting himself fall backward upon the bed, he realized how tired he was, straining to stay awake, but finding it an almost impossible task. though perhaps that wasn't such a bad thing.. His memories were starting to come through his weakened mental block, images of that night seeping through... and then, sweet erasing darkness, sleep overtaking him.
 
The next morning, Eden was up with the dawn, dressed and reported to the kitchen to prepare breakfast with Garr for her master. She had tried her best to block out last night and working at dawn only helped her get her mind on other things.

Soon breakfast was all ready for the master, what ever time he might awaken and ready to be served wherever he may want it served.
 
Awaking early, for he had gone to bed early as well, Roland took a few minutes to simply stare at the ceiling, letting himself fully awaken. Upon doing this, he proceeded to dress for the day, feeling a little foolish for falling asleep without disrobing his old clothes. Once fully dressed, he took another few minutes to perform a small series of stretches, working out any kinks that had formed in his muscles as he slept.

Finally, he strode from the room, mind cleared and ready to start to day. It didn't take long however, he fill his cleared thoughts. Immediately, the thought of Eden filled his head, and he knew he would have to face her today, and eventually, his own feelings for her, feeling almost a coward for not acting on them sooner. Still, as he sat down at the table withing the dinning room, he supposed he'd simply have to take things slowly, also remaining a little weary about his over zealous maid, not having seen her for a while now, which mildly troubled him.
 
"The master will take his meal in the dining room," Garr announced in the kitchen once he had seen him take his place. Eden took a deep breath to prepare herself as she went to reach for the tray and carry it to him, but before she could get her hands on it... Isabella swooped in and took up the tray. She glared at Eden a moment and gave her good warning, "You might be the whore in his bed, but I am still his servant. I have served him every day and that will not change. Why don't you go wait somewhere with your legs open..." With that last harsh comment, Isabella was out the kitchen and heading for the dining room. A smile on her face as she placed the tray before Roland.

Eden was left standing in the same place, totally shocked. Was this hurt? It had to be. With nothing left to do... she had nothing better to do but well, take Isabella's advice. She returned to her room and once again just sat and waited to be called to master's bed. She had lived this life for years. Why did it bother her this time.
 
Seeing her step through the door, he didn't know whether to laugh or groan at the coincidence. Quite the uncanny one at that as well. In any case he accepted the food with a smile and a a thank you, not quite trusting her smile. Also, he wondered if she had met with Eden again, and whether he could be concerned about her. Deciding he should check on her afterwords, he went about eating his meal, noting Isahella's lingering presence.

Finishing up his meal, he placed a napkin to his lips, cleaning them as he spoke, not looking over to her at first, keeping his voice calm and neutral. "Is there something you wanted Isabella?" He inquired, finally casting his eyes over to her. As much as he wished to check on Eden, he knew he needed to take care of this first.
 
"You don't need her you know..." she said calmly. It was the same argument as the last time they had faced off with one another, "I will gladly warm your bed for you Roland and I don't cost anything. Am I not as pretty as she? Am I know as well endowed? And I can give you a husband's rights as well. I can give you health children. You don't need to pay for any of those things with HER when I will give them to you for free."
 
Forcing back the initial sign that came to his lips, he set his napkin down and turned to face her in full. Hoping she would understand this time.

"Isabella.." Pausing, he considered his words before advancing further. "Surely you must know, sometimes, things simply don't ignite between two people, perhaps they do for you, but I don't feel any sort of connection between the two of us, at least, not on the level you seem to." Hoping he hadn't offended her, at least to overly so, he sat back and watched her expression, hoping that this time, perhaps she had understood.
 
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