Whoa. I just happened to glance at this journal, and...
I don't know if anyone's said this to you, but, it was a brave thing to share this story. You definitely have had a fairly awful series of events happen to you.
Sure, as you say, your material needs are pretty well met, but emotional needs are just as valid and important too, and you've been dealt an exceptionally shitty hand in that regard. To have a family that adopted you for self-righteous brownie points but never really loved you, and abandoned you as soon as you stepped out of their neat little box...to having a lover who seemed to care about you and then
also abandoned you seemingly out of the blue...yeesh, that's enough to really fuck a person's head up. No good person could blame you for feeling the way you do.
It always fascinates me to see people sharing personal stories of this nature in a place like this. It seems counterintuitive at first, given that we're
all horny kinky perverts here, but...it seems like that is the very reason people feel safe sharing things like that in an erotic-roleplaying forum. (almost) Anything goes in terms of kinks, but interactions are regulated enough to ensure people aren't harassed or judged for liking what they like. It also strikes me just how many people use erotic roleplay writing as a safe and healthy outlet/coping mechanism for sexual traumas or traumas related to their orientation they've suffered, be them physical or emotional (or both). In any case, while many such personal stories are indeed not happy ones, I have always felt that stories like this are important to read about. Everyone has their own struggles, their own personal wars to fight. Some "bigger", some "smaller", but all valid and important.
Sometimes I feel like I hyper-obsess and ruin things
And this sounds like, I would guess either an RP gone sour or a partner ghosted you, and yeah, while those are just an inevitable part of online roleplaying with people who are initially strangers, those are also still pretty sucky things to happen.
In any case, I do wish you the best in finding any kind of fulfillment somewhere, be it here or elsewhere. And that you can still look for and find some good personal connections with worthwhile people in the future, after the unfortunate situations you've been through.
-----
Now, on a more pleasant note, mmmmm, there's some good stuff in this thread.
Some of my favorites are
the pic from the first post,
this one from "Random Girls",
and -
these -
four -
pieces from "worse treated". Some yummy stuff indeed~
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