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You're a mischievous burglar, what do you do?

J

Jericho Z. Barrons

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Oct 12, 2017
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If their clothes are sorted in the dresser, I'd rearrange them so that everything is mixed together. Replace all the underwear with underwear that is one size smaller.
 
Mismatch all of their socks and move everything a few inches to the left or right.
 
File their taxes badly so they get audited.

Cut off two buttons from their shirts.

Clog their drains.

Stuff a soft cheese in their air vents.

I'm sure I could come up with more.
 
Put mayonnaise in their shampoo bottle and shampoo in their mayonnaise jar.
 
Log out of everything. Take their chargers.
 
Oh my, this looks fun! Your threads are always great Hrairoo.
  1. Clip the corners of their socks.
  2. Undo every doorknob and hinge
  3. Superglue the refrigerator (after making a sandwich o'course)
  4. Uhh, caulk their windows shut
  5. Replace their cat with the neighbors' dog (if acceptable...)
  6. Replace their good cereal with like... raisin brand (ew!!)
  7. Make a chain by bending all their forks and spoons
  8. install them a fog machine or rig a fire extinguisher to go off (the finally)
BONUS: Arrange all their phone contact numbers around.
 
Empty all of their milk bottles and cereal boxes and put them back where I took them...see how they like being annoyed at their SO for doing it yet again when they were away. Chaotic Evil at its' finest.
 
BlooBlanket said:
Empty all of their milk bottles and cereal boxes and put them back where I took them...see how they like being annoyed at their SO for doing it yet again when they were away. Chaotic Evil at its' finest.
Click to expand...

This one hits way too close to home, lol.

What next? Load the dishwasher wrong? Where does it stop??
 
Reverse all the ceiling fans, unwrap the vegetable/soup cans, release a box of crickets and itching powder in every left shoe.
 
Hide something important in plain sight, and make them go on a treasure hunt with dozens of post-it notes.
 
Lets say I am also a stalker. I break into their home and have a dinner prepared for them for when they arrive.
 
The screws that hold the toilet seats in place.

The center button on every dress shirt.
 
Oh I have some ideas~

1. Unplug EVERYTHING, if the cords are detachable, hide them
2. Music, game and movie Disks. Place them all in the wrong boxes and scratch the shit out of them. If a music CD fits in a movie box or game box and vice versa, even better.
3. Get any and all remotes. Tuck them in really obscure places.
4. Dump any Lego I may find on the floor. Break any models, excluding anything complicated or expensive (e.g a spaceship or an extremely detailed helmet.). Scramble the pieces.
5. Take anything fragile, place them in really bad spots, like behind doors. Nowhere anyone could get seriously hurt like under a pillow.
6. Re-arrange any laundry they have in their cupboard.
7. Turn random objects upside down. Any and all
8. Scramble the placement of chairs. Place a recliner at the dining table, and a stool in the living room.
9. Alter the languages on any and all electronic devices. If they left device unlocked, change the password to keyboard smash including random capitalisation and symbols and then encrypt it using a one-time pad.
10. Turn on all the lights in every room, all the fans, AC, etc.
11. If I have access, crank Kids Bop on loop and hide the controls.
12. Take one sock from each pair and hide them elsewhere in the house.
13. Feed any pets they may have. Nothing malicious here, just making sure they’re taken care of.
14. Shit in their sink/pillowcase/bed
15. Hide a replica horse head in the bed/s, slosh some fake blood over that to really sell it.
16. Dump flour on the ground.
17. Dump syrup on the ground.
18. Dump feathers on the ground.
19. Turn a wall into a Jackson Polluck painting.
20. Put those little poppers under the toilet seats.

I have more but this is already over three hundred words, so I think I’ve made my point.
 
Take their car for a spin. Run a few of those speeding cameras at high speed and rake up a few tickets. Then hit the highway and say fuck a few tolls, too.

When you get back from joy riding around, wrap their house with a few dozen rolls of polyethylene. But not before...

Hire a busload of auto mechanics that can unassemble and reassemble their vehicles in their living room, kitchen, or utility closet (if it's one of those goofy little dainty cracker-box cars).
 
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