♥ 𝑀𝓊𝓈𝑒'𝓈 𝒥𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓃𝒶𝓁 ♥

[ImaginaryMuse]

Hello everyone,

So I do have a date scheduled. I ended up somewhat reluctantly choosing the hysterectomy, one reason largely being there weren't nearly as many reassurances if I tried the IUD. Me and my husband have also agreed that when we're able to, we'll see about getting a surrogate/adopting/something of the like to make up for giving up my ability to naturally bear children anymore. Anyone who knows me long enough knows I had always wanted to give my daughter a sibling, and this was easily one of the hardest choices I've had to make.

But I'm not going to allow this cancer any chances to get worse either, another reason why I went on and scheduled the hysterectomy.

The surgery's gonna happen on April 10th. From what I have looked up and been told via a booklet given to me from the cancer institute/doctor I'm visiting, I'll likely be in the hospital for 3-5 days even afterwards. Hopefully before that day arrives, I can keep replying on an at least semi-regular basis.

Thankfully, my term with school will be done and I should get approved for a LOA.

Thank you all to everyone for your patience and understanding.


Until next time,
Muse ♥

 

[ImaginaryMuse]

Hello everyone,

So this morning was the hysterectomy. I'm still a bit confused why they wanted me in at 5 AM when the actual surgery didn't start until 7:30, but oh well. I guess for the pre-op stuff like an EKG, but either way. It's done and over with. From what both me and my husband heard, everything went well. My doctor hinted when she called my husband that, going off what she did see in the pathology, the cancer was in low stages and may be fully gone ... which is exactly why I agreed to get this done. In hopes of hearing that become a reality.

So I'm hoping that's the verdict I end up getting.

Right now, I'm dizzy as hell. Apparently, nausea is common side effect, which is a weird sensation just because I almost never feel sick like that. So this is .... new and incredibly annoying for me.

I'm hoping some food will help, as I did have to fast before the surgery.

For the time being, I'm going to take things relatively easily. I'll reply to threads/PMs when I feel better.

Until next time,
Muse ♥

 

[ImaginaryMuse]

Hello everyone,

I'm feeling a lot better, physically and mentally. A few days after the hysterectomy, the pain started kicking in pretty hard. Not quite to a 10/10, but a 6-7/10 which was annoying enough in its own rights. I finally got the call explaining my pathology results yesterday. I've already revealed this to some people privately, but I'm putting the verdict here for anyone who has been reading along and wants to know.

So ... it came back partly as I managed to read/interpret it and also with a bit of a surprise.

The cancer was indeed found, detected, and removed during the hysterectomy. It only got to stage one, which is great. Had it been 3-4, that would have required going through chemo had it spread. And ... nope. That's precisely why I chose to get this done, to avoid chemo. I've seen how badly it can make a person suffer, and since I had the choice to nip this in the bud to avoid going through that same agony, I made that decision and, frankly, am feeling more relieved at what I had to do. Even though it was very much not at the top of my to-do list.

So here's now where it gets kinda odd.

Apparently, some atypical but benign cells were also found along the linings of my uterine walls. It's mainly because they're atypical that some more investigating needs to be done. A friend of mine suggested the possibility of uterine fibroids which, after googling what they are, is indeed a very high possibility, as I do have PCOS and just overall whacky hormones. If that is indeed what these are, I should be in the clear and cancer free.

I'm feeling hopeful though. I won't pretend it isn't a bit nerve-wracking, but more than much else, I'm actually feeling optimistic for the first time this year. That's how shitty of a start it was for me.

In addition to the pathology results, I got a new job and an email revealing that my CGPA was good enough for me to be included on the Dean's List! To say I'm ecstatic is an understatement. ♥

On the plus side, the new job doesn't begin until May 1st. However, once it does ... I will not be available to reply until late afternoons during the weekdays. Weekends, however, I will be completely free. It is 40 hours, but I'm ready to prove myself with this new job. It's through a company that specifically helps people with disabilities and gives them priorities in earning and securing jobs, so hopefully that'll allow for a much smoother ability to get and keep a job.

Until next time,
Muse ♥

 

[ImaginaryMuse]

Hello everyone,

Gonna use this page to vent real fast.

I fucking hate how our job system works. It's so fucking stupid. I've even heard that America is one of the few countries that blatantly refuses to let their employees sit to ensure they don't break their back or something of the like. Why the fuck not? If we're doing the work, would it really kill you dumbasses to let us ensure we don't injure ourselves on the job?!

I will never understand the blatant refusal on our behalf. It's so infuriating. What's the point of having policies like the ADA [American Disabilities Act] if you're not even going to permit us to be able to use them and/or ensure we stay healthy and are able to return to the job?

Someone please make it make sense, because I don't get it.

On the plus side ... I have more time though. But yeah, no. I'm not going back, hell no. I know my worth and the price is definitely not putting my back at risk.

Until next time,
Muse ♥

 

[ImaginaryMuse]

Hello everyone,

Super fast update. Long story short … I have been exhausted. The heat isn’t helping, nor is the fact it’s supposedly normal to be worn out 6-8+ weeks after a hysterectomy. I’m only 4 weeks post operation.

To anyone I haven’t replied to, I will see about fixing that ASAP.

Thanks for your patience with me!

Until next time,
Muse ♥

 

[ImaginaryMuse]

Hello everyone,

I've been having technical difficulties. Specifically linked to my laptop. So about a week ago, my fan was making a whirring noise. Me and my husband tried taking it to Best Buy ... the woman couldn't unscrew it open to check out what was going on. Stupid, I know. Trust me, I do. Either way, we ended up taking matters into our own hands ... managed to not only get the screws out, but examined the inside. We didn't see anything else looking wrong and deduced it likely was just something off with the fan. Too dirty, maybe completely dead .... not sure. Either way, it was clear something was wrong.

So we found and bought a new fan for relatively cheap. It came in today and .... it wouldn't fit in the exact same way as the previous one. Which ... given we made damn sure it was the same model and shit? Oh yeah, I'm very frustrated.

In the end, we opted to say 'fuck it' and, for now, I'm using the laptop without a fan. We do still have both if we wanna try putting either back in. But right now, I'm just wanting to scream in sheer annoyance.

This whole fucking year has been horrible thus far.

Found out my grandfather-in-law/husband's grandfather passed. On the day of my own deceased grandfather's birthday, no less .... so if that day wasn't hard enough, it got worse when we found out. February was me finidng out about the cancer, March was learning about another friend of mine dying from their own cancer [leukemia, but still], April was the hysterectomy in question .... May I actually got so depressed I caved and tried hurting myself physically for the first time ever. And now .... fucking technical difficulties, and this laptop is only about 2-3 years old. Just in case none of that was bad enough, the wifi is barely picking up for some reason. I'm typically having 1-3 bars.

I'm mentally drained .... done. With pretty much any/everything. So if I don't get back to anyone too quick, that's a good part of why. I'm also resuming my school in 11 days. Hopefully ... assuming I can keep and maintain a decent internet connection.

Thanks for your patience with me!

Until next time,
Muse ♥

 

[ImaginaryMuse]

Hello everyone,

Blows off dust

Long time no type. So last year was indeed one of the worst years of my life. 2024 started off a bit rough. Finally, however, I do think things are beginning to turn around. As some of you may have noticed, I have revamped and resumed bumping my request threads once again. You will also have seen they're only for the offsite section for now. That's because I got a new job as a DSP and am currently undergoing training/orientation at the moment. So while I am back in a much better mental state, time is something that I don't exactly have the most of.

I'm essentially on here solely to advertise myself. I am, however, going to add another reason for this entry aside from the heads up, and it comes in the form of explaining the disclaimer included in my original search thread.

Apparently, it isn't clear enough, so let me say it here and now. Everything I put there? It still very much applies. So if you come to me wanting an original idea .... be ready to sell the hell out of it. This means giving me a setting, plot idea, keywords, potential pairings. But do not just message me and only ask me a simple question like "Do you like [insert kink/topic here]?"

Show you have actually read my whole thread. One of the biggest turn offs for me is a lack of intelligence or common sense, and the easiest way to do that is message me and show you haven't put enough thought into contacting me. Seriously though, we're supposed to be 18+ to be a member of here. Prove you wanna write with me and drag me out of my comfort zone. Otherwise, I'm gonna shake my head at the lack of trying and ignore your message.

This is the last time I'm offering this free advice. Do with it what you will, but I highly recommend heeding it if you want to persuade me to do something that's an original RP.

Until next time,
Muse ♥