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Much Better Then a Cup of Sugar {<Crimson and JMontvale>}

Andy awoke when Jasmine got out of the bed. He opened his eyes and saw her get back in and hug Alex. Andy realized that Alex was having a nightmare. It was easy for Andy to guess what Alex's nightmare was about. Andy rolled over to stroke his big brother's back and try to offer what comfort he could. The 16 year old knew that wouldn't be much. It was Jasmine Alex was having the nightmare about. It was her he needed to hold and remind himself she wasn't gone.

Alex held his feelings in, unlike Andy. The younger teen was an open book. If anyone wanted to know what he was feeling, they could just look at his expression and posture. When he was happy, he glowed with joy like a small sun. When he was sad, a cloud hung over his every move. Alex wasn't so open with his emotions, possibly from the years he had spent struggling with and denying his bisexuality.

His joy came out slowly, like radiated heat that wasn't spectacular as with Andy, but it warmed his loved ones just as deeply. But his sadness, his worry, and his fears, Alex seemed to bury deep. He hid them to try to protect the people he cared about, but then they ate at him. Andy knew his big brother was tough and strong, but he shouldn't have to fight his fear alone.

You're not alone, bro, Andy thought as tears began to fill his blue eyes and he kissed the back of Alex's neck. We're here with you. You can open up to us. You're always there for us. Let us be here for you.

Andy knew he was the luckiest kid in the world. Not only had he found love with the two most wonderful people, he had been allowed to be the bridge that brought Alex and Jasmine back together. They had let Andy share in that love, and in their intense physical passion. He had heard that positive thinking and emotions could help a person fight illness. Andy was determined to give Jasmine and Alex as much of both as he could.

Andy also knew he was the newcomer to their love. He was the expendable one, not Jasmine. If his bone marrow, blood, or organs could help Jasmine get better, he would give them. He would gladly give his life to save hers, knowing that his lovers and their child would live on.
 
Jasmine slept clutched tightly in Alex's arms, unable to move for the next few hours as he clung to her small body. Tucked against the front of him the small young woman slept soundly, forcing herself not to dream as she softly stroked her lover's hair even in her sleep. Each time he would shift or stir Jasmine would press closer, lulling him back to sleep with a few softly mumbled words and soft caresses.

Alex slept fitfully, dreams finally fading into the background as he held Jasmine close. He didn't want to make Andy feel left out but he was almost certain that his younger brother understood just why he was so worried; he'd been in love with Jasmine for years and had managed to hide it from everyone, including himself. He'd intentionally sabotaged their relationship so that she would leave him just to prove to himself that he couldn't keep love. Now she was back. Thanks to Andy Alex had his first love back in his life. Just as things seemed perfect he was struck with the most wonderful news in the world: Jasmine was pregnant, possibly with his child, something he'd secretly dreamed of for years. At the same time he'd gotten the most heartbreaking news in the world: the woman he loved more than anything, the woman carrying his child was once again fighting cancer.

The combination of news was enough to give anyone a breakdown but he'd swallowed the pain to take care of Jasmine and Andy; if they didn't know how worried he really was then they might worry less. Even in his mind Alex knew that that wasn't true, they both knew how worried and scared he was, they just wouldn't bring it out into the open, at least not yet. They were letting him take the role of protector, just as he always did.

As he slept Alex shifted slightly each time a dream would begin again but the images would soon shatter when he felt the familiar press of Jasmine's body against his and heard her soft voice, thick with sleep mumbling soothing words. From behind he could feel Andy, feel his brother's heart beating against his back. For once it wasn't Jasmine or Andy in the middle of their group, it was Alex's turn for soft caresses and sweet words, his turn to be cared for, even if he didn't realize it. When he woke he'd justify their switched positions by simply telling himself that Jasmine had woken sometime to use the restroom and simply slid into bed beside him. He'd not acknowledge just how afraid he was until there was no hiding it.
 
Andy drifted in and out of sleep. Every time Alex stirred as if the nightmare was coming back, Andy would wake and hug his big brother, pressing his chest to him so Alex could feel his heart. The tears would return as well. Alex couldn't bring himself to cry, so his little brother cried for him.

It was time for Andy to be strong. He knew it, but the small 16 year old doubted his strength. Alex needs me, he thought. Jasmine is fighting for her life and carrying our baby. I have to be the one who's there for Alex.

When he had slept as much as he thought he needed, Andy got out of bed. He slipped his sweatpants on. His shoes and socks were still in the room, but he couldn't find a shirt. Andy decided he was about as dressed as he needed to be anyway.

Andy reached over and gently touched Alex's big, strong shoulder. He would try to not wake Jasmine up. Andy needed to talk with Alex. He hoped and prayed for the strength to help his brother.

"Hey, big bro?" Andy whispered. "C'mon, I need to talk with you. It's kind of important."
 
Alex felt Andy wake but thought nothing of it, he simply nuzzled the back of Jasmine's neck and held her closer. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, though, he shifted in his sleep and woke slowly. Opening his eyes and letting out a soft mumble he gently untangled himself from Jasmine. When she shifted and began to wake he quickly grabbed a body pillow from the end of the bed and set it in her arms, watching her curl around it with an almost smile.

Rubbing a hand over his face Alex yawned and sat at the edge of the bed for a moment before standing and walking to his dresser, pulling on a pair of black basketball shorts as he ran fingers through his sleep tussled hair. "What'cha need," he asked, voice soft as to not wake Jasmine, even though he saw her shift out of the corner of his eye. Shaking his head slightly and ushering Andy from the room Alex yawned again looked down the hall. "Wanna talk in your room or the study," he asked softly.
 
"My room," Andy said softly. "I don't want mom and dad to hear." Andy went to his room with his big brother, closing the door once they were inside. Andy sat on his bed and patted beside him to invite Alex to sit as well. Andy hoped he could help Alex. He also hoped he didn't get his head knocked off, but the first was more important than the second.

"You know I love you, bro, and you know Jasmine loves you. You know we love you with all our hearts, right?" Andy began, his deep blue eyes seeking the cornflower eyes of his brother. "Jasmine and me, we know that we can always count on you, bro. We know that you'd fight an army, swim Paulsen's Lake, or cut out your own heart for us. But you need to know we'd do the same for you."

Andy wanted to hug Alex, but it was too soon yet. His words might anger this big brother. Anger could be a defense when a person didn't want to face their own emotions.

You're bigger and stronger than me or Jasmine. Maybe you're the strongest guy I know, but even you can only carry so much. You bottle all your feelings up to protect Jasmine and me from them, but you don't have to. You carry us in your big, strong, sexy arms, but you don't see that you can let me carry you a little. I'd say let us both carry you, but Jasmine has a pretty full plate right now. I can help though. Don't hold all that in. Let it out, bro. Let me be here for you."
 
Alex followed Andy into his room, not expecting anything too serious until his younger brother sat on the bed and patted the mattress beside him. Frowning slightly Alex walked over and sat down beside the younger teen, arms resting on his legs as he looked at his little brother. It took a minute for Andy to finally speak but Alex listened, sitting up a bit straighter before shaking his head. "There's nothing to talk about," he said calmly, looking at Andy with what should have been a familiar stubborn expression.

"I'm fine. I just need to focus on Jasmine and making sure she gets batter, and make sure you're alright. Other than that my issues can wait, you both are more important." Moving to lean against Andy's headboard Alex looked at his younger brother seriously, jaw clenched slightly. He was angry, more at himself than anything, but he wouldn't let it show more than that. The small vein at his temple stood out a bit but he made no move to let anymore anger show. As a matter of fact, the vein disappeared a minute later as he swallowed down his anger.

"It's my job to make sure that you're both safe, I know you don't like it when I don't let you know what I'm feeling, but I don't want to worry you with any of my problems. You're more important and I'm going to make sure that you're fine. I'll take care of me later."
 
"It's your job to look after us," Andy agreed. "But, it's my job to look after you and Jasmine too." Andy brushed the hair out of his face and shook his head. "When I have a problem, I come to you. There aren't any "my" problems. They're "our" problems. It's the same for you. Your problems, are my problems too."

Andy moved closer to his big brother. He put his arm around Alex's big, strong shoulders. Andy moved close enough that his chest was touching Alex's arm. He softly kissed his brother's cheek.

"You don't have to hold it in, bro. You have to let it out before it kills you." Andy gently caressed Alex's chin, softly guiding his brother to look him in the eyes. "I'm here for you. Let me be here for you, Alex. My body isn't as strong as yours, but my heart is strong. Let me be strong for you. Let go. Let it out so I can help you."
 
Alex stubbornly refused to look at his younger brother as the boy spoke, his eyes locked on the wall at the far side of the room. Just listening to his brother's plea for him to let go and let him take care of things was enough to tighten the elder teen's throat but Alex refused to let go his control enough for even a glimmer of a tear to build in his blue eyes.

Clutching his hands tightly his arms flexed against Andy's chest as he pressed close and for a moment Alex refused to even turn his head so he could see his brother's beautiful blue eyes. My body isn't as strong as yours, but my heart is strong. The words echoed through Alex's mind and he felt the first hint of a tear building. Before he could stop himself he felt a tear roll down his cheek but he shook his head slightly, wiping the salty drop angrily from his cheek.

"I can't just let go," Alex said, looking at Andy and willing his little brother to understand. "I can't let anything go, I have to be strong for you. If I break down then I'm not as strong as I need to be. If I break then I'm not strong enough to help Jasmine, or to keep her alive, to keep our baby safe."
 
"You don't have to break, bro," Andy said gently. "You can let it go before it breaks you. Let it out, bro. Bend with it so you can let it go before it gets so overwhelming that it does break you. I let my feelings out in the open, and I'm not broken. Jasmine let's her feelings out and she's not broken." Andy's eyes began to shimmer with moisture. He loved Alex so much, and knowing how much pain his big brother was in was breaking Andy's heart.

"Please, bro. Let it out. Let me be here for you, like you're always there for us. Let me show my love for you this way. If you don't, it will kill you someday and I don't think Jasmine and I could survive that. Trust me, bro. Trust me and know that I'll always love you."
 
Alex watched moisture beginning to build in his younger brother's eyes, his own eyes beginning to burn as he pulled Andy close. Setting his forehead against the younger male's Andy took a deep, slightly shaky breath. "Andy, love, you know I'm not good at bending," he said softly, giving a half smile. "I never have been. I don't want to let myself feel this because I'm afraid of how much it'll hurt to even think about loosing you, Jasmine, or that baby growing in her. I don't want to think about it."

As he spoke Alex's voice broke for a second, his bright blue eyes closing as another tea escaped. One hand clapped around the back of Andy's neck Alex kept him there, trying to keep himself from feeling the growing pain and fear that welled in his chest as his mind betrayed him, flashes of thoughts running through his mind even as he fought to block them out.
 
Andy held his big brother in his arms.

"We don't want to lose you either, bro," he said. "Let the fear out. Don't let it build up. Don't let it control you. Let me be here for you, Alex, my love. I know you don't bend much, but I know you love us. I know you want to protect your family. We want to help and protect you to. We love you, bro. Let the fear out, and let me help you."

The tears began to roll down Andy's young face. He pressed his heart to Alex's body.

"I love you, Alex. Nothing can ever change that."
 
Unable to stop himself Alex felt the first barely audible sob pull from his chest as his will broke. One moment only a few small tears escaped, the next he felt them rolling down his cheeks, soulders shaking slightly as he cried. Finally allowing himself to think about what would happen if Jasmine died the elder teen let his younger brother wrap arms round his body and hold him close as he cried.

Every emotion he'd held in came out, everything from tears of joy at the thought of Jasmine being pregnant to the tears of pain as his heart felt as if it were breaking. Alex loved Andy, he'd always love his little brother, but he admitted to himself that he loved Jasmine a little more. If Jasmine were to die and leave him Alex wasn't sure he's be able to survive it. He's always love her, and the loss of her would most likely break him, he may live but part of him would be dead without her there.

Admitting that to himself only made him cry harder and Alex wrapped strong arms around his brother, crying that much harder as he held tightly to the young teen who'd done so much to bring him and Jasmine back together. Though Alex loved Jasmine they were both too stubborn and hot tempered to be able to have a lasting relationship, Andy was the only one who could calm them both and keep a small fight from turning into a battle that could rage for days; he was the one that had paved the way for Jasmine and Alex to connect again and Alex knew that his brother was the only one who could have made him face his fears and actually allow the tears to fall.
 
Andy held his big brother and stroked his hair and back. Words weren't what was needed now, so Andy didn't speak. He just held his beloved Alex and let him feel his little brother's support and love. As much as it broke his heart for his big brother to be so afraid and anguished, Andy knew that Alex would be better off now.

Andy kissed Alex gently on the cheek and let the older teen hold him close in his strong arms. The 16 year old had never known romantic love until Jasmine had come into his life. Then, he had been given a chance to have more than brotherly love with Alex. Andy would always be grateful for the incredible love Alex and Jasmine shared with him. Now, he was grateful for this chance to help his big brother even as Alex's sobs and tears tore at his heart.

You can be more help to Jasmine now, Andy thought. He knew Alex wouldn't know that yet, but without the strain of holding so much in, Alex would have more energy for helping Jasmine. Andy knew that Alex and Jasmine shared a deeper love than they felt for him, but that didn't matter to the short teen. He felt loved more than enough, and Andy knew he would never be happy in a different relationship. We'll get through this somehow, Andy silently promised his lovers and their unborn child.
 
Alex cried even as Andy comforted him and the elder teen held tightly to his younger brother, shoulders shaking slightly with his soft sobs. It took a while but finally his sobs subsided and his tears dried but instead of letting Andy go Alex simply loosened his grip a bit, pulling his younger brother into his lap as he leaned against the headboard.

Having gone silent after the tears subsided Alex kept his head on Andy's shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around the boy's waist. Every now and again his breathing would hitch as if he were about to cry again, but he held in that last bit, unwilling to completely let go, though the tears left were more for worry and his own personal issues; those tears that everyone had left inside.

"Thank you," Alex whispered softly, keeping his mind completely blank as he softly kissed the spot on Andy's neck where he'd marked him hours before.
 
"You're welcome, bro," Andy said tenderly. He tried to hold in his groan of pleasure when Alex kissed the mark on his neck, but a little escaped. "I love you Alex." The smaller teen gently stroked his brother's strong shoulders and back. "I'm always here for you, bro. You give me so much, Alex, and I'm so happy to be able to give back a little." Andy kissed his brother's shoulder and neck. As long as I live, I'm here for you and Jasmine, the smaller teen thought.
 
Alex calmed himself slowly, pulling Andy into his lap and wrapping himself around his younger brother. For the time being he needed something, anything to hold onto to keep himself sane and the reinforce the reality of Andy and Jasmine for him. Since Jasmine was still asleep and would ask why he'd been crying, Alex held tight to Andy, softly kissing his neck again before holding him tighter.
 
Andy let himself be pulled into Alex's lap. He wrapped his arms and legs around his brother and pressed their chests together so Alex could feel his heartbeat and Andy could feel his brother's.

"I love you," Andy said again. "I'm right here, bro." Andy continued to place loving kisses on Alex's shoulder, neck and ear.
 
Holding tightly to his younger brother Alex calmed himself more and allowed his mind to drift off for a few moments. Finally calmed nearly completely he shifted his grasp on the younger teen long enough to wipe the tears from his cheeks. Capturing Andy's face between his hands Alex kissed his younger brother soft, lips lingering on the younger male's lips for a few moments before he pulled back and leaned his forehead against Andy's.

"Thank you," he said softly, giving Andy a small smile as he ran hands along his younger lover's spine. "Do you want to come with me and Jasmine while we go looking for an apartment? Since she needs a new place to live I thought I'd help her find a place so the two of you can get away from here. She'll be bringing you to visit me after I go back to school."
 
"You're welcome, bro," Andy said tenderly. His hands stroked and massaged Alex's strong shoulders and back. "I'm glad I can help." Andy smiled happily. "I'd love to go with you and Jasmine to find her an apartment." The younger teen chuckled and caressed his brother's strong chest playfully. "A place for us to have some privacy would be great... and getting to visit you. I love you both, and it will be sweet to get to see more of both of you."
 
Alex smiled and playfully nipped Andy's lower lip but paused when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Leaning forward to kiss Andy quickly Alex stood up from the bed just as he heard their mother's soft knock, though the woman didn't wait long to open the door.

"There are my boys," she smiled, smoothing her blond hair back into place with a small hand. "Your father and I are planning a barbecue for tonight. He needs to know what you two want to eat." Giving them her usual bright, shiny smile she just watched them, waiting for them to answer.

"I'm not going to be here for dinner," Alex said simply, looking at Andy. "I was actually planning on taking Jasmine and Andy out for dinner tonight since they promised to help me find a few things before I go back to school."

At the mention of Jasmine their mother's smile faded and a tightness started around her eyes, but a second later her smile was back to its usual shine. "Well then, bring Jasmine with you," she said simply, turning and walking from the room even as Alex's eyes narrowed.

In reality Alex didn't want to spend time with his parents, he knew that they'd hated Jasmine from their first meeting, and the idea of her having to spend over an hour dealing with their father's harsh stair and their mother's biting questions wouldn't be ideal.
 
Andy's eyes went as wide as saucers when he heard their mother at the door. Alex sat him on the bed and stood before he could think of anything to say or do. Then, mom was in the room. She was smiling, and Andy reminded himself that there was nothing unusual about the two brothers being in each others rooms. Andy had certainly been in Alex's room a lot, giving him massages after sports mainly, but also just to talk or goof off.

Andy smiled up at his mother and listened to her talk of a barbecue. He frowned slightly and let Alex give the answer for both of them. He was surprised to see the unpleasant reaction mom had to the news, and wondered why. Andy hadn't known that Jasmine and Alex had been lovers, and he didn't know their parents disapproved of Jasmine. But another, more urgent thought came to the short teen. Once mom was safely out of the room, Andy whispered to his big brother.

"Jasmine is in my room! Mom and dad might freak if they find out! We need to sneak Jasmine out!" Andy thought for a moment. "If I distract mom and dad, can you sneak Jasmine out okay, bro?" he asked. "Dad'll be getting the grill out and setting up in the back yard. Mom'll prob'ly be in the kitchen gettin' stuff from the fridge. I'll go in the kitchen and... tell mom 'bout my A on that test you and Jasmine helped me study for? That will maybe get mom happy enough to call dad in, and you and Jasmine can slip out the front door?"
 
Alex broke off glaring at the door as their mother left when he heard Andy's voice. Cursing softly Alex headed for the door just as it opened again and Jasmine walked in. As Alex let out a relieved sigh he noticed that her usually happy green eyes had darkened slightly and her small hands were fisted at her sides.

"The next time your father calls me a whore I swear I'm going to hit him," Jasmine hissed, practically shaking with rage. Wrapping small arms around herself she hugged her stomach, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before giving up the fight to stay calm and wrapping herself around Alex, who'd come up to her the moment she'd walked into the room. Holding an arm out for Andy the small woman buried her face against Alex's neck.

"Don't worry, I'll have a talk with him," Alex practically growled as he held onto Jasmine tightly, careful of her tattoo, though he pressed her against the front of his body. "We're getting out of here soon, I don't want to be stuck in the house with them while you're here. Things are going to get ugly fast."
 
Andy was shocked to learn what his father had called Jasmine. He hugged his two lovers close, kissing Jasmine softly on the cheek and ear. How could dad say such a thing? he wondered painfully.

Andy pressed his body to his lovers, and held them both close. He didn't have a violent nature, but Andy suddenly felt that he could hit his own father for hurting Jasmine like he had. But Andy didn't think that would help much. Instead, he put his mind to preventing his parents from hurting Jasmine any more. At least for that day.

"I can still go distract mom and dad," Andy said. "You two can leave while I'm keepin' the 'rents busy in the kitchen, and I can come out and meet you at the car." He kissed both of his lovers in turn. "I'm sorry, Jasmine. But I don't care what they think. I love you, and I'm not gonna stop lovin' you."

Andy reluctantly broke from the hug and went to put his shoes on. Then, he went downstairs and tried to smile as he walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, mom," he said. "I forgot to tell you and dad that I got an A on that test."
 
Jasmine just nodded from her position held between her lovers, but she turned just enough in Alex's embrase to kiss Andy's cheek. "Thank you," she said softly, sighing as she idly rubbed her cheek against the warm chest before her. "We'll be down in a few minutes, don't let them talk you into staying," she warned, snuggling closer to Alex as he tightened his hold.

Once Andy left the room Alex kissed the top of Jasmine's head, reluctantly letting her go as she pulled away. "We're going to have to tell him why they hate me eventually, I don't want him to think we're keeping it from him," she sighed, running fingers through her hair before massaging her temples.

"We can tell him later, first I want to get you the hell out of here. I swear I'll hit him if he says anything like that again," Alex growled, tilting Jasmine's head up with fingers beneath her chin before kissing her quickly. "C'mon, you need to get more clothes on an'd I do, too. Grab some stuff for Andy while you're in here," Alex said over his shoulder before returning to his own room.

Nodding slightly Jasmine quickly pulled on a pair of the jeans she'd stored in Andy's bottom drawer, happy to see that he hadn't moved them, though she did find a small note in his handwriting announcing that they were her clothes. Smiling to herself the petite woman grabbed a cutoff tank-top that bared her midrift, and the black and white checkered jacket she'd bought for Andy a few weeks earlier. Taking the time to pull her hair up into a high ponytail Jasmine quickly packed a small bag for Andy, making certain to grab an extra change of clothes since she had no intention of bringing him back to the house for a few days.

Just as she slipped on her Converse Jasmine heard the door open and looked up to see Alex. Smiling she stood and gave him a quick kiss as he took the bag from her, adding her clothes from his room to Andyâ??s. As he headed out the door Jasmine followed behind, unable to help a small giggle as he slapped her ass on her way down the stairs.

â??Weâ??re leaving,â? Alex called from the front hall just as Jasmine opened the door. Before he could hear any complaints Alex gave Jasmine a small nudge and nodded to the car, turning quickly to call for Andy. â??We brought a change of clothes for you, bro, tell them â??byeâ??, we gotta go,â? Alex called, seemingly impatient as Jasmine started her car and slid into the center seat, leaving space for her boys on either side of her.
 
Mom and dad seemed very happy about Andy's test score. The even seemed to forget about Jasmine for a short time as they congratulated their younger son on his improvement. Then, Alex called from the living room to let the 'rents know they were leaving. Andy watched his parents as their expressions darkened.

"You can stay here for supper if you want," his mom said. "We're grilling tonight. I know how much you love grilled corn on the cob."

"I need to go," Andy answered, though he couldn't manage a smile any longer. "Alex and Jasmine are waiting for me."

"You don't need to go," his dad said. "You don't have to do whatever that whore tells you."

"Don't you say that!" Andy shouted before he could stop himself. "Don't you say that about Jasmine ever again! She's sweet and good and... and if she hadn't helped me study, I never woulda done so good on that test! You... you just don't know her!" Andy was crying when he ran out of the kitchen, through the house and to the car.

He was crying because of what his parents had said about Jasmine and he was crying because he had seen how his outburst had upset his parents. Andy couldn't stop loving Jasmine, not even if he had wanted to, but he couldn't stop loving his parents either. The teenager's heart felt like it was tearing apart, and he felt like he had let Jasmine and his parents down by not knowing how to make his parents see how wonderful Jasmine really was.
 
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