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Ever had a partner who got mad at you because a plot didn't work?

InitiateInspiration

InitiateInspiration

Super-Earth
Joined
Jul 14, 2016
Have you ever had a partner who got really mad when a plot didn't work out because the plot was YOUR IDEA? LOL That shit is so crazy to me.
 
actually, yes! i've also had someone get extremely upset with me for adding my own ideas / thoughts to a roleplay which apparently made the roleplay not go the way they wanted?? like they wanted my character to react a certain way and for the roleplay to go a certain way i was like..please..just write a book. 😭
 
Once or twice. I'm not perfect and I do make mistakes, so it has happened. Best thing to do is try and give them some space then either try and talk about ways to fix things, or find a new partner if they are unwilling.
 
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As Nadia said, just try to give them space and then approach them about remedying the situation.

I've had it happen to me a few times a while back, if it's any consolation.
 
I can understand being maybe a little upset or approaching someone like "hey, this thing isn't working out".

But getting mad about it? I don't think I've had it happen to me, but I feel like it'd be a major red flag if that were to happen.
 
Not yet, no, but I reckon I will at some point or another. I've found people to be pretty reasonable here, with the very, very rare occasion of butting heads with someone or not seeing eye to eye.

I know it's easier said than done, but don't let it get to you too much. As a dear friend consoled me earlier (you know who you are!) It's just as likely that it's a "them" problem.
 
I think there's a palpable difference between 'Hey this idea ain't working and I'm not jiving with it. Can we change things/end the RP?' and well... Being told to fuck yourself over a plot twist in the RP. I'd more than happily work with the former. The latter would have me end contact with that user immediately.
 
I just got surprised when I told a partner that I wasn’t enjoying the RP and their response was a nastier version of, “Well it was your idea!”

Like, I get it. But just because I present the idea isn’t a guarantee that it’s going to work. And sometimes, the other person isn’t the right partner for the idea.
 
Honestly,

Sometimes I've learned to see the warning signs of plots that are too specific in the request thread.

I'm not saying this is you, but I've been roleplaying for many many years, and I've learned to navigate clear of request threads that should really be something that the requester turns into an erotic story because they have very specific ideas in their head and it would inevitably be better (for them) if they just wrote a prose short story or novella and got their ideas out the way they want them.

Like I say, I'm not saying this is you... but I definitely lean toward more general request threads, and I also make sure we're on the same page of what the expectations are via OOC before I dive in.
 
Spacer1999 said:
Honestly,

Sometimes I've learned to see the warning signs of plots that are too specific in the request thread.

I'm not saying this is you, but I've been roleplaying for many many years, and I've learned to navigate clear of request threads that should really be something that the requester turns into an erotic story because they have very specific ideas in their head and it would inevitably be better (for them) if they just wrote a prose short story or novella and got their ideas out the way they want them.

Like I say, I'm not saying this is you... but I definitely lean toward more general request threads, and I also make sure we're on the same page of what the expectations are via OOC before I dive in.
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For sure. I definitely try not to give too many deep details about a plot beforehand. Usually it’s pretty general ideas. I prefer collaborating on ideas. But even if it’s a vague pairing, because it’s something I suggested they get hurt and upset when it doesn’t work out. Even something as vague as just teacher/student. lol

It’s all just very silly but wanted to see what others have experienced in regards to this.
 
Spacer1999 said:
I'm not saying this is you, but I've been roleplaying for many many years, and I've learned to navigate clear of request threads that should really be something that the requester turns into an erotic story because they have very specific ideas in their head and it would inevitably be better (for them) if they just wrote a prose short story or novella and got their ideas out the way they want them.
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Agreed. I learned this the hard way--twice.

A story a couple partners and I did was less something we built together and moreso doing things exactly how they wanted them to be done, to the point they should've just wrote a solo story. I'm happy to help bring fantasies to life but I would also like to contribute my own thoughts and ideas to them. And those ladies weren't having it. Everything had to go a certain way. Zero flexibility.

Better people start with a general idea and talk it out rather than them planning it start to finish without a partner's input. If people want total control they're better off working on it alone.
 
Not yet, no. People in my PMs are usually agreeable folks, and even though my ideas may not always play out in full either due to losing interest, or RL struggles, but I never make it a point to fault them because that'd be idiotic to say the least. If I feel like we may not vibe together or our methods don't mesh well, I will also be honest and say (politely) that it likely won't work out between us before the plot itself starts. Sometimes you just feel it by the way you start off a message.

I'm also not one to throw tantrums if things don't go my way. I'll make it a point to plan details before a scene starts so there is a general direction to head towards. Sometimes though, I may just want to surprise my partners, though it happens when we've been writing together for a while and there's a certain degree of familiarity between the two of us. If not, I will just picture what could have been in my head and move along. People need to be told that no means no, and while eagerness may get you at times, it's important to have set boundaries beforehand.
 
A few times yes and it is almost always because they did not pay attention to what I was saying! I am always very clear in during the discussion stage about what I like, what I want with the RP what the RP is about etc etc.

Seriously, I am a pain in the butt and I make that clear from the get go!

I even had one partner throw a hissy fit and run to her buddy the moderator and get all her posts deleted in our thread because my character kept mentioning a fetish that I was clear about wanting to explore in the prep stages of the RP! I was fucking clear!!

Had another one who got upset about an act of violence even though they actually agreed to it in the PM's. And another situation where the person thought the RP was stupid even though they contacted me.
 
Lady Irony said:
A few times yes and it is almost always because they did not pay attention to what I was saying! I am always very clear in during the discussion stage about what I like, what I want with the RP what the RP is about etc etc.

Seriously, I am a pain in the butt and I make that clear from the get go!

I even had one partner throw a hissy fit and run to her buddy the moderator and get all her posts deleted in our thread because my character kept mentioning a fetish that I was clear about wanting to explore in the prep stages of the RP! I was fucking clear!!

Had another one who got upset about an act of violence even though they actually agreed to it in the PM's. And another situation where the person thought the RP was stupid even though they contacted me.
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LMAO, the last part sounds like gold. I wonder what their creative genius had to conribute by bitching about an RP they contacted the OP about was stupid. Like what, did they think it'd earn them a cookie?

I've had the same thing sort of happening to me, where the person acted quite condescending and sarcastic about everything I proposed and talked to them about, to the point I refused to RP anymore and they threw a fit. Wasn't on Blue Moon, though.

Another time, a person said to come at them with a plot, so I followed the list of kinks and themes they had provided and they thought my idea was...lame? When I couldn't understand what exactly they meant by it since I stuck to what they liked. But I guess some people just aren't meant to be. I met one of my stable partners shortly after so it wasn't too bad at all.
 
BlooBlanket said:
LMAO, the last part sounds like gold. I wonder what their creative genius had to conribute by bitching about an RP they contacted the OP about was stupid. Like what, did they think it'd earn them a cookie?

I've had the same thing sort of happening to me, where the person acted quite condescending and sarcastic about everything I proposed and talked to them about, to the point I refused to RP anymore and they threw a fit. Wasn't on Blue Moon, though.

Another time, a person said to come at them with a plot, so I followed the list of kinks and themes they had provided and they thought my idea was...lame? When I couldn't understand what exactly they meant by it since I stuck to what they liked. But I guess some people just aren't meant to be. I met one of my stable partners shortly after so it wasn't too bad at all.
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Yeah it was weird. I told it was a slow burn kind of thing, I told them what I wanted to explore and although it was a weird theme it didn't mean that I wanted it to be obvious etc. They agreed to it all then got upset because what they really wanted was a smut fest.

I bet the person didn't even have any plot ideas of their own?
 
They were somewhat uncertain about what to include, but I only really assumed it was because their idea was quite specific. They wanted to include some taboo themes which I had dealt with in the past, so I was confident it would have worked.

I also remembered another instance : someone who wanted to RP with an OC that was practically invincible and invulnerable to magic (while being human in a High Fantasy setting, mind you) and wouldn't have wanted our characters to co-operate, no matter what.

They also insinuated that "someone of their level" wouldn't have gotten any enjoyment out of RPing a combat scene due to our skill gap. Big yikes in general.
 
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All the time. You just have to understand it is probably them. Review what you have, try to be mature about the situation and move on.
 
Not since I was an adolescent writing fanfics and RPs with other adolescents. These days I'm pretty selective about my partners and go with my gut. It cuts down on creepiness and this sort of absurd drama 1000%.
 
Shiver said:
Not since I was an adolescent writing fanfics and RPs with other adolescents. These days I'm pretty selective about my partners and go with my gut. It cuts down on creepiness and this sort of absurd drama 1000%.
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Yeah, I try to be more selective over who I write with as well. I tend to go with my gut, and if someone doesn't strike me as the right partner while brainstorming, I will typically end things before they really start.
 
Lady Irony said:
A few times yes and it is almost always because they did not pay attention to what I was saying! I am always very clear in during the discussion stage about what I like, what I want with the RP what the RP is about etc etc.

Seriously, I am a pain in the butt and I make that clear from the get go!

I even had one partner throw a hissy fit and run to her buddy the moderator and get all her posts deleted in our thread because my character kept mentioning a fetish that I was clear about wanting to explore in the prep stages of the RP! I was fucking clear!!

Had another one who got upset about an act of violence even though they actually agreed to it in the PM's. And another situation where the person thought the RP was stupid even though they contacted me.
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That happens a lot. You try to be clear about what you're looking for, but people don't always listen. Or sometimes they don't remember what you discussed.

Running to the moderator seems slightly excessive and unnecessary.
 
InitiateInspiration said:
That happens a lot. You try to be clear about what you're looking for, but people don't always listen. Or sometimes they don't remember what you discussed.

Running to the moderator seems slightly excessive and unnecessary.
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Yep that is definitely the case of people not paying attention or remembering although it was a major aspect of the RP.

It was very childish and caught me off guard. I ended up getting banned somehow over it. Very cliquey and stupid. I have been very cautious about these forums ever since and will never donate to any of them.
 
I had a partner who got upset with me because my limits changed while the rp was ongoing. Mostly because he went in directions I wouldn't have imagined a primarily sexual rp to go, and discovered in real time that I wasn't into it. I have also had a partner who got upset that my character reacted realistically to theirs, instead of bending over backwards to accommodate his porn logic plot. I have come to learn that, just because I share interests in come kinks with many people on here, our approaches and expectations can still be very different.
 
Xanaphia said:
I had a partner who got upset with me because my limits changed while the rp was ongoing. Mostly because he went in directions I wouldn't have imagined a primarily sexual rp to go, and discovered in real time that I wasn't into it. I have also had a partner who got upset that my character reacted realistically to theirs, instead of bending over backwards to accommodate his porn logic plot. I have come to learn that, just because I share interests in come kinks with many people on here, our approaches and expectations can still be very different.
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I think that if you discuss kinks and limits beforehand, and they change during the RP, that's fine. You have to be honest and communicate. I can see why someone would be surprised if your character just reacts in a way that is counter to previous discussions, as opposed to having an OOC conversation about the change though. But if you communicate, and are honest, then there should be no reason for someone to get mad.
 
A partner has gotten like psycho furious because I wouldn't play an entire 'community' of characters around his. Then, he wasn't playing any NPCs for me, and even made me run a NPC that tortured MC. I guess his 'plot' idea was that I was GMing the world for him while phrasing it as "we'll have a large group of NPCs".

On the flip side, I have gotten annoyed at partners who didn't follow a concept or theme. I don't propose plot-in-the-boxes, but there are definitely some archetypes and themes that are core to what we agree on. Like when they agree to a really gruff alpha in an A/O story, then their alpha is really gentle and romantic and my O ends up topping... Yeah, I'm allowed to be unhappy with them not adhering to the agreement we had that I invested in.
 
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