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Conflicting Desires (Javorcek x ClearSight)

“You ordered....stuff.” Sasha blinked. She hadn’t expected there to be more things. Now she wanted to know what naughty things Bellamy had been getting into since their last pleasant encounter. She must have done research...maybe even had watched some porn to see how certain toys were used. “What kind of stuff? Wait - no, never mind. Don’t tell me. You’re going to show me everything you ordered.” Even though curiosity was bubbling up inside of her, she couldn’t resist embarrassing Bellamy further by having her show every single thing that had been delivered.

When Bellamy hid her face after confessing she wanted to be collared, Sasha gently took her hands and brought them away. She kissed the tip of her date’s nose and gave a reassuring smile, “I’d love to put it on you, right after you answer my first question.” Bellamy collected herself, then made her agree to not freak out about the answer...which of course made Sasha panic just a little bit. Anything preceded with ‘promise not to freak out’ of course made that person freak out. But Sasha still nodded in agreement, she’d do her best to not let wild emotions get the better of her.

Pure rage stormed over Sasha’s features as Bellamy recounted what had happened to her. Jared had assaulted her?!?! He had hurt her so bad he had actually left marks?!? Sasha wasn’t a violent person, but she was going to find him and castrate him, see how many people he assaults ever again without his balls!! She was so busy fantasizing about all the ways she was going to destroy Jared Weston that she hadn’t said anything for a bit, and judging by the way Bellamy was looking at her, it was making her nervous. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. After what she had been through, Bellamy didn’t need her flying off the handle right now, especially when none of it was her fault.

“Thank you for telling me. I’m glad you’re okay.” Sasha still looked like she’d go on a murderous rampage once they got down from this mountain, but her voice was sincere. She really was glad Bellamy was honest with her, even about something as hard to talk about as this. “You could have told me right away though, Bell...I would’ve taken care of you.” She was surprised that Bellamy hadn’t thought to do that first, having known that Sasha’s mom had been disowned by her family. If she hadn’t had anywhere else safe to go, even Alex would have let the girl stay. But she supposed Bellamy didn’t want her to see her as this broken, wounded thing. Nobody wanted pity.

She wrapped her girlfriend up into a protective embrace and gave her a little squeeze. They were quiet for a little bit, Sasha still mulling over what had been said, “So...you kept that necklace, huh?” She brought up after a little while, knowing the necklace that Jared must have found. The camp they had gone to had had any activity one could think of: from ritzy things like horseback riding and sailing, to more summer campy things like bonfires and hikes. There had been a music teacher there so that kids didn’t shirk their lessons for the 8 weeks they were at camp, and Sasha always brought her guitar every year. One summer she had taught Bellamy how to play a few chords. Later she took the pick she had used to do so to brought it to Arts&Crafts, learning how to punch a hole, engrave, and make it into a simple leather necklace then. They must have been...14 or 15 then? A year or two before their fateful kiss. Bellamy had kept it this entire time, and even more surprising, she actually wore it.

Sasha pulled back just a little bit, this talk of necklaces reminded her of the collar she had put to the side. She picked the piece of leather back up and motioned to Bellamy’s neck. “Can I put this on you?” Only when she received an affirmative did she move to brush a few errant strands of hair away from Bellamy’s regal neck and place the collar around the pale flesh. She buckled it so that it wasn’t too snug, using two fingers to double check, just like one would a dog. “What a pretty puppy I have.” Sasha smiled brightly, the collar did look really nice on Bellamy, to the point she was second guessing her ‘no sex’ boundary.

“Collars are really useful...it’s a great way to let me know you want to play, or maybe that you just want puppy pets and snuggles instead of regular ones. But just remember that you’re my girlfriend first and that you are the one who is in charge of the collar. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to.” Sasha had been in two BDSM relationships before, both lasting about a year, and both had gotten very, very twisted up towards the end. Her girlfriends had slowly stopped being girlfriends and had just been compliant subs. It had been hard to break up when there was nothing ‘wrong’. She knew some Dommes were into that, but Sasha wasn’t one of those. She enjoyed having a balance of intense, kinky sex and vanilla lovemaking. Also, she didn’t really like having a sub with few boundaries who always told her ‘yes’, it wasn’t fun for her if they didn’t play a little bit of a game. “I like being a Mistress, but not all the time. It can be...exhausting, for me at least. Sometimes I like to just be Sasha, do you think you’ll be okay with that?”
 
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As much as Bellamy wanted to focus on the things she bought, and there was a lot, she couldn't. After she started Telling Sasha what happened, she could see the anger in her eyes, though she knew it wasn't directed at her. Still, it made keeping the various toys she purchased on her mind difficult. Even if the fact that she bought some rope, cuffs, a blindfold, and a few other odds and ends spoke volumes towards how much she liked some of the things they did together. Some of the things Sasha introduced her to.

There would be time for that, as long as Bellamy's truth-telling didn't completely infuriate Sasha. At least it all fell back on Jared in the end, Sasha appearing ready to castrate the subhuman piece of garbage. Bellamy wouldn't mind if she did, though it was probably better if she didn't. Jared was scum, and he would do anything he could to get her tangled up if Sasha approached him for revenge.

"I'm okay, Sasha. Thank you for being worried about me, and I know that you would have taken care of me... I just... I didn't want that to be the reason you took another look at me..." She could barely say it out loud, but it was the truth. Nobody wanted pity, especially Bellamy. However, to her, the idea that Sasha may have just forgiven her because she got attacked... She didn't want that. Bellamy wanted what happened between them to come from something real, not temporary. That was the real reason she could tell her today, honesty or not. Because now, she knew that Sasha was giving her another chance because... she loved her, even if she couldn't say it out loud.

"Yeah... I've been wearing it since you gave it to me." Bellamy leaned her head against Sasha, smiling gently. Unless the outfit wouldn't allow it, Bellamy always wore it. Even back in school, during the days Sasha thought she was ignoring her, the necklace stayed close to Bellamy's heart. It wasn't a bluff when she said she had loved her since they were kids. Even if she ran from it then, not every part of her had. There was always that part of her that knew, that kept the things that Sasha had given her and thought back on those days with fondness. It was also the reason she fell into something so intense the moment she met Sasha again... Why she stayed silent the moment she realized who it was at the masquerade. That night, she thought she could have what she always wanted, so how could she ruin it? Well, she almost had in the end, but still.

Bellamy felt warm just thinking about their past together. Even if it ended poorly, those were happy days. She really hoped their future days together were the same.

"Yes. Please do." Bellamy lifted her head from Sasha's shoulder and lifted her chin, giving Sasha full access to her neck. As the leather wrapped around her neck, her body shivered, delight surging through her. She smiled brightly, tempted to nuzzle at Sasha, though she resisted in the end. She was enjoying the moment, so she didn't start acting any differently, just returning her head to Sasha's shoulder and snuggling up against her again.

"Yeah. I don't want to be a puppy all the time, either. Most of the time, I just want to be by your side as Bellamy..." she whispered, not tired but very content. Her voice was soft as she turned her head slightly and said, "Besides, I never thought of myself as a submissive. I never even thought of myself as someone who enjoys sex. The only reason I like it to begin with is because of you, Sasha. So, how could I forget that you're Sasha, first and foremost, when you're the only reason I care about the kink world at all?"

Bellamy smiled and kissed Sasha's cheek, her long arms wrapping around the smaller girl, holding her in a firm hug. "I love my Bambi."
 
“Mmmm. Well we can try lots of things if you want...especially if you’ve never thought of yourself as a submissive before. “You can try topping me too if you don’t think you’re just a sub. I have a lot of limits though as a bottom so I don’t make for the best of subs,” Sasha chuckled because that was an understatement. If she had to be a bottom, she was the bossiest and the mouthiest one, doing everything in her restrained power to either take control of the scene back or sabotage the whole thing. “But we can try if you want, so you can see what it’s like on my end....or we can try if you want a little role play where I have to struggle against you and you get lots of punishment at the end for stealing control.” Sasha talked about scenes as one would talk about the weather. For her, BDSM was just another hobby, and so she didn’t mind talking about it as such with likeminded people.

Finding out that she was the reason Bellamy enjoyed sex and the kinkier aspects of it made her puff up with pride. And it was a major relief to hear that she didn’t want to be ‘Puppy’ all the time. Sasha liked her adorable little whimpering Puppy... but she was in love with her sweet and charming Bellamy.

She was content to sit there and enjoy the snuggles and the beautiful mountain landscape...but then Bellamy called her ‘Bambi’ and the old nickname riled her up, sure as anything. Sasha had expanded her exercise routine since high school....and she had finally grown breasts (they weren’t huge, but it was still better than high school); she didn’t look like a Bambi anymore! She used to only run and had been a scrawny teen back in the day. But she had gotten into nutrition, HIIT, and kickboxing as she had gotten older...so she wasn’t such a frail looking thing anymore. She may not have abs like Bellamy, but there was muscle under there and she had slight definition in her arms and legs, even more so when she flexed.

“Grrrr!” With a playful growl, she launched herself into Bellamy, showing off just how much she had changed physically. She had the other girl on her back and was victoriously perched on top of her hips in seconds. “Still wanna call me Bambi, huh?!” Sasha tickled her sides, a triumphant grin on her face as she got the other girl squirming and laughing. There had been a time where she would do this to Bellamy until she tapped out...but now that they were dating, she had a better idea.

Her fingers danced their way up Bellamy’s sides, then up to her arms where they only stopped when they found her wrists. Sasha lightly pinned them, something loose she could easily break out of. Her goal was not to restrain, it was to tease. She leaned down, pressing a kiss to Bellamy’s lips. Where every one had been rather chaste to this point, this lip lock definitely was not. Sasha actually parted her lips and coaxed Bellamy to do the same so that their tongues could play. When they needed to break for oxygen, Sasha didn’t let up, her wandering mouth working its way down Bellamy’s jawline. She dipped just a little lower, nipping and suckling gently at the soft flesh of her throat, careful not to leave a mark because they had work on Monday.
 
Bellamy's eyes lit up a bit at the prospect of trying her luck as a top. She had a feeling she wouldn't be good at it, not with Sasha, but she still wanted to try. Even if she backed down the moment that Sasha looked displeased with the exchange of power. That or she wouldn't be any good at it and get discouraged, which seemed like an even more likely scenario. Then again... she had a really strong core.

Yeah, maybe she would give it a try anyway and see if she could make Sasha feel anywhere near as good as the girl made her feel. Bellamy made up her mind with an internal nod, determined to take her shot, even if it was as a top and not the dominant partner. Even if she could see herself topping, she definitely couldn't see herself being in charge.

"I want to try a lot of things, as long as you're willing to teach me," Bellamy chirped, too happy for her own good. "I already seem to have a thing for being restrained, and maybe, just maybe... the tail was nice."

She never could talk about the kinkier stuff without blushing like a fool, but she didn't shy away from it. "So help me explore more some time?" she asked, a smile on her face as she pecked her Bambi on the cheek. Apparently, though, her words fell on deaf ears because her previous teasing had brought upon Bambi's terrifying revenge!

It wasn't just the tickling that caused her to start laughing; the very thought of Bambi's revenge was enough to cause Bellamy's sides to split. "Bambi, stop!" she laughed, her entire face lit up with a brilliant smile. How often did she get a chance to enjoy something so pure and simple?

It didn't stay pure and simple for long, though. When the tickling began moving up her body, Bellamy's eyebrow cocked up, and her smile shifted into a grin. "Naughty Bambi," she managed to say through the laughter, though her saying the name yet again caused Sasha to redouble her efforts, sending her squirming and losing it.

"Okay, okay!" Bellamy was on the verge of surrendering, but before she had a chance to, her naughty Bambi made another move, pinning her wrists loosely and leaning down for a kiss. Bellamy didn't resist at all.

Her entire body melted, and she relaxed completely, her lips parting willingly to meet her tongue. "Sasha..." she breathed out, her voice carrying her desire with it.

"Sasha... Ah!" she moaned out sharply, a jolt of pleasure spiking through her body as her Bambi started kissing and nipping at her neck.

"Hey... that's not fair..." she whined as Sasha kept going, wanting more kisses, perhaps the chance to kiss at Sasha's neck too. But she wasn't allowed to; that much was clear.

Even though Bellamy whined and whimpered, she didn't free her hands. Even if Sasha let her go, she wouldn't stop her. It felt good, despite her pleas. Though, if she knew that Sasha wouldn't do anything more, maybe she would have changed her stance on that...

---

The date had gone perfectly, or at least as close to perfect as Bellamy dared hope for. She even told Sasha she loved her again when she dropped her off at home, and she hadn't looked nervous because of it! Or, if she had, Bellamy was too absorbed in her own delirious joy to notice.

Then, after that day, things got even better. They were... a couple. Bellamy no longer had to pretend they weren't or hide things, and she could say what was on her mind. She took full advantage of that, telling Sasha how she felt and giving her little kisses in public. It wasn't like the whole world didn't already know because of her family's insanity. Plus, she was proud, happy to be with Sasha, right up until they had to go to another bar... She really hated bars. She did it for Sasha, though, and she did it with a smile. As long as she was with her Bambi.
 
“Mmm...so now you remember my name.” Sasha giggled, then gave another growl and a harder bite to draw another moan from her girlfriend. Okay, that one might have left a mark, but it was nothing that couldn’t be covered up with a little concealer! She nuzzled and gave a little more affection to Bellamy’s neck before coming back up to trade kisses. Figuring she had won their little game, Sasha released her wrists and rolled them both onto their sides so they could lazily make out under the midday sun.

After chatting and snuggling a little more, it was time to pack up and go home. Sasha had a waaayyyy easier time getting down the mountain than she had getting up it, so they ended on a high note. They held hands the whole ride home, any silence between them comfortable. When Bellamy dropped her off and declared she loved her again, Sasha just smiled and kissed her with all the tenderness she couldn’t speak.

The rest of the week went by just fine...well, for her at least, Bellamy was on Mrs. Wynn’s shit list for missing a week of work. Wynn sent her on all sorts of errands: to the courthouse to pick up records, to the prison to get depositions, even making her get coffee for the office like a gopher. Bellamy’s punishment didn’t let up until Thursday, and Sasha invited her over for dinner that night to celebrate.

Back in her apartment, she was pretty strict about Bellamy staying out of her bedroom. They snuggled on the couch together after dinner and watched TV. It was nice and Sasha would have loved for her to stay...but she didn’t trust herself to not take things further. About an hour before her bedtime, she made sure the other girl went home.

Sasha had already set a deadline for Bellamy’s ‘end of probation’...which was a month from their first date. One night stands not included, Sasha usually waited a month or two before sleeping with a new girlfriend. The lack of sex wouldn’t normally bother her...but after already knowing how good it was with Bellamy, she found herself having a difficult time not escalating situations.

So Sasha turned it into a game of slowly edging her puppy, the dominant side of her a lot more evil and patient than the rest of her.

———————-

“I truly hate these sorts of bars.” Charlotte grumbled to Bellamy as the two of them pulled up to a...tavern sort of establishment? It was on the outskirts of the city, a little off the beaten path. The sign out front read ‘The Trick Shot,’ the ‘O’ meant to look like an 8-ball...how cute. They lived in the capitol, not in the middle of nowhere, why were they always ending up at these backwards bars when there were some really nice ones downtown?!?!

Because Bellamy was an asshole, that’s why.

Well maybe not an asshole. It was clear Bellamy just wanted to go out with Sasha but Sasha did this one night out a week thing with David. Instead of just being the third wheel or patiently waiting for a more private date night, Bellamy roped Charlotte into this friendly gathering.

Charlotte made a face as she parked the car and saw the motorcycles parked in a line out front. Great. Well. She now saw why Sasha’s instructions had been to dress ‘very casually.”

———————

When Bellamy and Charlotte entered the pool hall, they’d find Sasha and David sitting next to a group of bikers at the bar. Sasha was dressed in a band t-shirt and a pair of ripped up jeans, David in a nice button down and pair of dark wash jeans. A grizzly looking biker who appeared to be quite drunk was talking to Sasha and pointing over at David with a frown on his face. “So is this suit your boyfriend, Lil’ Yavy?”

“That’s just my friend David, Bruce. He’s cool.” Sasha was smiling...David looked like he wished Sasha was about a foot taller so he could hide behind her more effectively.

Sasha noticed Bellamy and Charlotte entering and waved them over. She looped her arm through her date’s once she came close enough. “This is actually my girlfriend, Bellamy, and our friend Charlotte. This is Bruce, he owes my mom a ton of money after 25 years of bad bets.” Sasha said with a teasing smile.

The biker looked at this new addition, appraising Bellamy for a moment before seeming satisfied and then nodding, “Y’know, I almost married her mama.” Bruce drunkenly pointed behind the bar, spilling a little of the drink in his hand, at a signed picture of the band ‘After Curfew’ playing in this very bar. “That girl could play the drums like you wouldn’t believe.”

Sasha laughed, “That’s not the way mom tells it.”

“Hrrmph. Well, Yavy’s a lot stronger than she looks. Plus I didn’t wanna hurt her none...gotta respect a woman willin’ to fight fer her lady.”

“Mhmm. Well, I’m going to show these guys how to shoot some pool, it was good catching up with you, Bruce.” Sasha hopped off her barstool and gave Bellamy a little tug over towards the tables, Charlotte and David followed quickly in tow.

“Don’t you kids bet against Lil’ Yavy, whole family’s a buncha hustlers! And you tell your mom she better come back down here sometime soon to visit so I can win my money back!”

“Will do, Bruce!” Sasha chirped as she led her friends away. There were a couple of other people playing at the tables, but most of the crowd seemed to be by the bar, the bikers, and the little stage where a band was setting up to play. Sasha chose a table furthest away from it all, already seeing that David and Charlotte were nervous in this place. “Don’t mind Bruce, he’s a big teddy bear, they all are. Just ah...maybe don’t stare at Rooster.” Sasha nodded over to a serious looking man with a mohawk and a large scar that took up about half his face, but didn’t elaborate further. It was probably best they didn’t know what the man had gone to jail for. “So! You guys ready to learn?”

———————

The night went surprisingly smoothly, considering where they were. The band was good and the bikers, while rowdy, weren’t getting into any fights yet. The game itself was also going well. The rules of pool were pretty simple and once Sasha showed them how to use the markers that were around the rails, reducing pool to a giant game of geometry, Charlotte and David seemed to get it. She would make adjustments to both of them, little touches or verbal instructions about how they should angle their body in order to make more consistent shots. Being of equal beginner skill, Charlotte suggested they pair off and go head to head at another table so they didn’t get consistently trounced by Sasha.

That left Bellamy at the mercy of a very physical Sasha. When Sasha adjusted her, her hands always lingered or drifted places they probably shouldn’t. At one point the shorter girl was actually behind her, hands on her hips, feet lightly nudging Bellamy’s into a better stance, a hand coming to her back to urge her to bend over and sight the cue ball better - it was a position that was very reminiscent of when Sasha had bent her over her desk and flipped up her skirt to toy with her.
 
Bellamy seldom felt exhausted, even after difficult weeks. But the entire week after their date left her drained. It wasn't just one thing either, with the entire world seeming to be working against her.

First, her gym closed due to some stupid reason she was too frustrated to ask about. Then, at work, she became the office slave because she took a few days off. Actually, she understood why and didn't blame Mrs. Wynn, but it didn't mean she enjoyed it. Considering it took time away from her and Sasha just made matters worse. Perhaps it was for the best, though, seeing as her biggest problem wasn't the grunt work or the lack of physical release but Sasha!

Their evenings were spent together, but they never went further than fooling around, which was fine, but Sasha seemed intent on pushing her as far as she could, torturing her! It affected Bellamy far more than she expected it to. In fact, she became so frustrated that she thought about masturbating... which she rarely ever did. Unfortunately, the fact that she lived with Charlotte killed that idea. She couldn't do it, even if Charlotte left, nervous she would get caught in the act or something else equally horrible. If only she could realize that before she started watching "educational videos."

Basically, everything was working against her, most of all Sasha. Her girlfriend... was evil... and she loved her. So, love was killing her. Yep, that was about the gist of it.

Therefore, by the time Thursday arrived, Bellamy was nearing her limit, barely able to remain calm. The amount of tension in her was ridiculous, so much so that she didn't even mind the shabby looking bar, too eager to see Sasha, praying she would finally let her off the hook.

"I'm a weak person..." Bellamy groaned as she got out of the car with Charlotte, not answering when Charlotte gave her an odd look and asked what she was talking about. It didn't matter. She was weak; it was a thing.

Accepting her own weakness, Bellamy sighed and started walking towards the door, dressed as casually as she could be. Jeans, a loose t-shirt, some sneakers. She looked very similar to how she dressed at the community center, even having her hair tied back, revealing her slender, tantalizing neck and part of the necklace she wore beneath her shirt.

---

After walking into the bar, Bellamy's face lit up, a smile appearing in place of the previous depression at her own weakness. Apparently, weakness was fine as long as she had her Bambi. No, it was absolutely fine.

"Hi, I'm Bellamy," Bellamy greeted casually, nodding at the man as she walked over to the bar and wrapped her arm around a seated Sasha's waist. So she was a little protective... possessive... so what? She wasn't rude about it, just proud that it was her arm around Sasha's waist.

Bellamy barely let go of Sasha long enough for her to hop off the barstool, returning to her rightful place by Sasha's side immediately after. As clingy as she was, the grace she normally carried herself with made every action seem fluid and natural. Plus, her face showed no sign of anything being wrong. She even leaned down to kiss her cheek, whispering, "Missed you." They hadn't been separated long, but they barely saw each other at work, with Bellamy running to and fro. She was going to enjoy every minute they had.

---

Bellamy had great expectations for the night, even when she realized Sasha picked yet another game she sucked at. She was really smart and good at math, but even after learning it was centered around geometry, she couldn't get the hang of it. Perhaps she didn't even want to, though. After all, with every wrong posture or failed shot, Sasha came to "teach" her.

At some point, Bellamy began to wonder if she was a masochist. Even though she was frustrated, horny beyond belief, she never tired of Sasha's touch. And when she got bent over, even if it was innocent, she found herself shivering with delight, her body having expectations the moment wasn't going to meet.

Bellamy couldn't take it. At some point, she began pressing her ass back, grinding into Sasha as she took her shot. There was no innocence in her movements, which remained subtle due to where they were but couldn't be mistaken for anything else.

The same happened after that shot, once Sasha came to adjust her arm, one of her lingering touches getting a gentle shiver and a soft, barely audible moan.

She even took matters into her own hands as they kept playing, moving her body to bring Sasha's hands to her abs and chest... even moving her hand down at one point, though stopping before reaching the destination. She tried to make herself look innocent, trying to seem as if she weren't angling for something more.

At a certain point, the game of pool stopped being the main focus, or perhaps it had never been. At that point, though, Bellamy began "handicapping" her opponent, moving up behind her as she played and using her height to her advantage. She leaned over behind her, pressed against her back, and nibbled at her ear and neck, being far less subtle than before. She had also had a few too many fruity drinks at that point, which sent her boldness soaring.

"You've been teasing me all weak..." Bellamy said, her hot breath spilling across the tender flesh of Sasha's skin. "It's not fair, Sasha. You're mean..." she whined, then bit down, not all that gently either. She didn't exactly try to leave a mark, but the clumsy, drunk her did, and she giggled when she saw it after. "Mine."
 
Nimble fingers twitched against Bellamy’s sides, taking firmer hold of her hips as the other girl ground back against her. Sasha had to take a deep breath to steady herself, resisting the urge to grind against her girlfriend’s perfect ass. Alright. Okay. Maybe she had misjudged the level of Bellamy’s submission and inexperience. Puppy was such a good girl, sometimes it made her forget that Bellamy was a conniving brat. The innocent looks weren’t going to fool her! She knew exactly what her girlfriend was up to and Sasha was going to make sure she wasn’t the one who broke first.

Sasha was making a valiant effort ignoring Bellamy’s participation in their little game, the one that was happening while they played pool. Even when her lover managed to turn so that her fingers ran over those delicious abs, Sasha managed to hold it together and not feel her up. She was the dominant here! She was the one in control! A few drinks in herself and a flirty drunk girlfriend hanging all over her weren’t going to break her iron will!!

So when Bellamy folded herself over her when Sasha was taking her shot, when she nibbled on her neck and Sasha felt the warm breath tickling her sensitive skin, she ignored it. She put all of her focus into that cue ball and the stick in her hand, ignoring soft breasts in her back and hard muscle pressing against her ass. Right as she drew back to shoot, Bellamy bit her, resulting in Sasha releasing an embarrassing noise that was somewhere between a squeak and a moan. Her body followed through with the shot, the series of motions so engraved in her...but the surprise bite caused her to hit the edge of the ball, missing her mark entirely, sending it spiraling off to the left, into one of her solids, which in turn knocked one of Bellamy’s stripes into the side pocket.

Sasha whipped around, as adorable as pouty, drunk, and possessive Bellamy was, she was in trouble! “Oh, you haven’t seen mean yet, sweetheart.” It was easy to walk the drunker girl backwards, until her back hit a nearby wall. Sasha grabbed the front of her shirt and yanked her down, kissing her roughly, giving her bottom lip a nice hard nip as a warning.

Charlotte and David had taken a break from their game to go to the bar to order some finger-foods for the group and get more drinks, leaving the two of them pretty much in their own little word. Sasha was going to make the most of their temporary privacy. Her leg slotted between Bellamy’s and she pushed forward, grinding right into her core.

“If you don’t behave yourself tonight, I’m going to extend your probation, Bell.” As she spoke, Sasha’s hands drifted under her loose shirt, coming to rest at her obliques and keep her lightly pinned to the wall. “And I’m going to start assigning homework for Puppy. I’m sure you had to look up a bunch of naughty videos to see what some of my toys were for, right? Did you happen to come upon anything about edging?”

Sasha ground her thigh again, then pulled away, looking rather smug as she caught sight of Bellamy’s flushed cheeks. “When you go home tonight, you’re going to put your collar on, you’re going to lay down in bed and practice touching yourself. But you’re not allowed to cum, got it? If you’re having trouble or need a little help, you can call me.”

There wasn’t much time for Bellamy to argue with her commands or accuse her of being unfair, Charlotte and David were coming back with food and some waters so they could all sober up before heading home.
 
Bellamy grinned in victory when Sasha made one of the cutest noises to ever grace Bellamy's ears. For an instant, she believed her assured of victory, but that only lasted a moment. After making the adorable noise and completely missing her shot, Sasha turned around, not look at all like the defeated cutie Bellamy wanted her to be. She let a small "aw" slip as she pouted her lips, though the grin soon returned to her face. Complete victory eluded her, but she forced Sasha to react, which meant a small victory! A small victory still placed as a win in her books.

"Oh?" Bellamy asked, not seeming to believe Sasha's claim. Of course, not believing her meant nothing as Sasha backed her into the closest wall and grabbed her shirt, pulling her into exactly what she wanted, a kiss. The added roughness and bite to her lip only caused the giddy Bellamy to giggle happily, returning the kiss in kind, or at least trying to.

Sasha's refusal to fall into a deep, needy kiss surprised her, causing Bellamy to blink in confusion. She jumped soon after, her entire body shivering in delight as a leg pushed between her legs and pressed against her core.

"Baaambi..." Bellamy whined in a small voice, making sure not to let anyone else hear her, knowing the results if they did. Though, she quickly clasped her lips when Sasha mentioned extending her probation, fearing Sasha's response to the already spoken word.

Remaining still took everything she managed to muster and more, and it ended poorly, with Bellamy failing to control herself. However, Sasha kept her pinned to the wall, making her failure meaningless. Even though she wanted to lean in for another kiss, Sasha refused to let her.

"Sasha..." she whined, barely hearing the bit about the videos, which she definitely watched. She managed to catch the word "edging," but it meant very little to her at that moment. Only when Sasha finished speaking did Bellamy finally respond, a nervous look on her face as she did.

"You want me to... masturbate with my collar on? At Charlotte's?" she whispered the words, color creeping up her face, turning her a rather delightful shade of red.

"I... I can call you, right?" she spoke again but not immediately, taking some time to think it through and decide. Bellamy never imagined doing such a thing, having failed to successfully masturbate at Charlotte's, much less slowly edge herself with her collar on. Still, she brightened up at the idea of doing so under Sasha's guidance, a small untapped part of her quivering in utter ecstasy at the idea.

---

After they returned home, Charlotte went straight to bed. Bellamy, nervous about what the night held in store for her, showered first. After showering, she returned to her room, locked the door with trembling fingers, and walked to her closet. Her nerves caused her heart to beat rapidly, but her trembling came from excitement, which ran through her with such intensity that she barely managed to calm down enough to get things set up.

A few minutes later, and Bellamy finished her intricate setup, which included a secret weapon.

Bellamy refused to give in so easily, preparing a sight for Sasha's eyes, planning to fight fire with fire. Her intoxicated brain seemed to think it made sense to keep pushing back, even if her previous actions led to such unfortunate circumstances.

Therefore, instead of just calling Sasha, she set her phone against a small box on the nightstand and called her using FaceTime. With the camera pointed at her, she laid on the bed, not only wearing her collar but sporting ears, a tail that proved troublesome to get in on her own... and a white chiffon button down sleep shirt. Despite all of it, Bellamy thought of the shirt as her secret weapon, the thin, slightly see-through fabric and the few undone buttons drawing the eyes. Plus, her abs weren't hidden, not even a bit. All of that, all for Sasha to see. She knew how much Sasha liked her body, and she wanted to tempt her... just to see that she could if nothing else.
 
“You can always call, and you can always say ‘red.’” Sasha was softer as she reassured the other girl. One day she’d be more unyielding, but with Bellamy being a new sub, she wanted to keep reminding her that she always had final say in everything they did. She was obviously excited by the prospect of hearing her Puppy’s hushed moans while she tried to be a good guest in a friend’s house, but wouldn’t be totally put off if the other girl chickened out.

——————

When Sasha got home, she waited a little while for Bellamy’s call, but it didn’t come. She figured her silly drunkard had either passed out or had lost the nerve to call. Ah well. She’d ask about it when Bellamy came over tomorrow for lunch and grocery shopping. For now, she brushed her teeth and changed into her pajamas, then grabbed her laptop and snuggled up in her comfy bed. Usually she never brought her computer to bed with her, preferring to read from her Kindle before she went to sleep instead. But tonight she was busy typing up a list of kinks and limits while the thought was still fresh in her mind. Asking Bellamy to edge herself tonight reminded Sasha that she really didn’t know what her sub was interested in, so she thought a list of popular fetishes would help.

Keeping up with their traffic light system, she put her limits in a red column and labeled them as hers specifically - things like extreme bondage and humiliation. She wouldn’t mind doing them to Bellamy, she just didn’t want them done to her. Anything that really limited her freedom to the point she wouldn’t be able to escape in seconds made her panic...and she was more sensitive than she’d like to admit; being on the receiving end of humiliation or name calling bothered her, even in play. In the green column was everything they had done so far: the pet play, anal play, strap-on, etc. Then in the yellow column came the looooonnnnggggg list of things she liked to do or would want to try, with a little asterisk by the ones she personally liked already. She figured they could further sort out the middle list together. Bellamy could decide if she wanted to immediately put items in the limits column or they could experiment and put them in the green column if they liked them.

She was about halfway through the things she wanted to put in the yellow list when her phone went off. She was surprised, seeing that Bellamy wanted to FaceTime instead of just calling her. For a moment she wondered if her drunk girlfriend had hit the wrong button, but once the video booted up, she saw that it was all very much on purpose. “Holy shit,” Sasha gaped, eyes round as saucers at the pristine toy that was in need of debauchment on her phone screen. Freshly showered and looking like a nervous puppy that wanted to play, Sasha was seriously contemplating getting into her car right and speeding away to her girlfriend.

Usually she had a little more self control...but the fact that Bellamy was dressed this way, specifically for her, made everything in her brain short circuit. The sheer fabric, the collar, the cute little ears, the naughty tail... “I should’ve been the one to put the tail in!!!” She let out a whine, actually pouting because she liked to be the one to prepare her pet!!! Bellamy should have been draped over her knees and whimpering like the cute little puppy she was as Sasha eased the plug into her. That was her ass! She had claimed it first and she was the only one who was supposed to play with it!

She needed to pull herself together. She couldn’t behave like this; whining and looking pitiful just because her sub got to do what she couldn’t, it was unbecoming of a Domme! Sasha had a carefully crafted plan and she needed to see it through, even if it pained her to do so. Even if her hands ached to touch her lover’s toned stomach and her mouth watered at the thought of her taste...it would be worth it if she could just be the strong one here. She knew she had to date Bellamy like a normal person so their relationship could grow properly. She knew she couldn’t just rush through to all the good parts...there were so many lost years between them, they needed to date, needed to rediscover each other so Sasha could be sure that she could profess her love and really mean it. And she knew if she broke, knew that if she just rushed over there and fucked Bellamy again, that that’s all they would do for months and months until they fizzled out.

With a deep breath, she forced herself to refocus. She had a goal in mind and she was going to see it through. “You look beautiful tonight, Puppy,” Sasha’s voice grew softer, coated in a seductive purr. She set her laptop to the side and propped her phone up against it, then laid down on her side so that she could watch. Her hands were free but she didn’t make a move as though she were going to touch herself. If anything it appeared that 100% of her focus would be on Bellamy for the rest of the night. “I miss you...I wish I could be there to give you lots of pets. Why don’t you give yourself some for me? Go ahead and run your fingers up and down your abs, then lift that shirt up a little bit higher so I can see you play with your breasts.”

“Hmmm...I never play with your breasts or tummy enough, I always get so impatient. I just love how wet you get for me and all the cute noises you make... I wish I could touch you right now... Dip your fingers lower sweetheart and remind me what it feels like.”
 
Bellamy wanted nothing more than to impress Sasha. Fortunately for her, the other girl looked stunned when she first answered the call, her eyes wide and glued to the screen. The first part of Bellamy's plan succeeded, and she smiled as she tried to look as pretty as possible. She felt a little clumsy, a little giddy, but she managed to pull off absurdly sexy quite well, enough to make her girlfriend whine out in protest. She pouted! She actually pouted!

"So adorable," Bellamy whispered as she thought about how cute her Bambi acted from time to time. She tried to hide it and act tough, but Sasha definitely contained a cute, soft center.

A bit of disappointment appeared in Bellamy's eyes when Sasha recovered quickly, rather liking that she unsettled her girlfriend. Still, even if it only lasted a moment, she managed to do it, so she took pride in yet another small victory for the night. She just hoped her small victory led to something different than a major defeat like her previous one. Bellamy paled at the idea of getting herself into worse trouble, even if a tiny part of her grew curious about the details.

"Thanks... I wanted to see if I could shock you..." Bellamy admitted in a shy voice, blushing as the alcohol made her far more honest than normal. However, Bellamy spoke without a care, shy but not sorry about her intentions in the least. She put in the effort! She failed to expect Sasha's response, though. After the initial burst of shock, her girlfriend calmed down, remaining level-headed as she looked at her through the screen.

Bellamy wondered whether she planned on touching herself or if she only wanted to watch with rapt attention. It seemed like the latter, appearing as if Sasha intended to watch her, direct her, and remain calm and attentive the entire time. The thought sent a shiver through Bellamy, her submissive side bouncing around excitedly.

"Miss you too..." Bellamy finally responded, managing to pull herself from the excited daze as she slowly moved her right hand, tracing it down her body and across her abs, shivering at the feeling of her own fingers. They felt oddly sensual, making her think that Sasha's command changed everything. She felt like, even if only a little, Sasha controlled her actions, and the very thought aroused her enough for her cheeks to flush.

"Mistress..." The flavor of the word tasted good on Bellamy's tongue, enough that she paused for a moment after saying it, only continuing on after a moment. "I'm doing as you asked."

At that point, Bellamy lifted her shirt up, revealing her defined abs, then kept going until her perky breasts appeared in the open air, her fingers beginning to tease them immediately.

While Bellamy never filmed anything, having no taste for the life of an actress, she managed to display a great deal of awareness, making sure every action suited the camera... and the viewer. She wanted Sasha to see everything, and she complied instinctually when the next order came.

Bellamy began to chew on her lip as her fingers approached her core, slowly tracing her way down, giving Sasha a show as she came closer and closer to doing the thing she never managed to do previously — masturbate at Charlotte's place.

"You're such a... bad influence," Bellamy moaned softly as her fingers reached her slick folds, making sure to only tease herself as she waited for Sasha to push her forward, almost unable to do so herself.

"Make me... do these things... alone." She kept going, her eyes looking into the camera, a very cute, very flushed look on her face. She appeared to be incredibly embarrassed, but the excitement in her eyes eclipsed everything else, further driven home by her vocal reaction as she kept going. Everything felt intensified, every sensation magnified.

"Making me do all of this... at my friend's house... like some kind of... pervert," Bellamy whined, seeming humiliated by her own label. She definitely felt like one, getting all excited... and not wanting to stop. Guh, a definite pervert!
 
“Mmm, I’m the bad influence?” Sasha hummed, chuckling softly. “I’m not the one who got all bitey at the bar...or the one who got all dressed up to tease...” she grinned, eyes dancing with playfulness as she watched Bellamy start to touch herself in earnest.

“Spread your legs wider and start rubbing your clit, Puppy....but not too fast. Remember, I don’t want you to cum tonight....”

“I take it you don’t play with yourself when your at your friend’s house, hmm? What would she think if she heard you? What would she think if she saw you with your little puppy ears and puppy tail? My little depraved pervert... I only asked for a collar, -you’re- the naughty one who put on the ears on...and that tail. I bet you had to tease yourself quite a bit in the shower to get yourself ready to take the plug, didn’t you Puppy?”

It wasn’t long before Bellamy was getting lost to her pleasure and Sasha had to rope her back in. “No more Puppy, be a good girl and close up your legs. You can hold yourself for a little bit to help cool down but I don’t want you touching your clit anymore.”

Bellamy would have to go to bed that night wet and wanting. But Sasha was nice and stayed on the phone with her a little while longer, giving lots of praise and gentle words until her Puppy calmed down and the lateness of the night finally started to affect her.

——————

Sasha chose not to bring up what had happened between Mistress and Puppy the next day. Even though the list of kinks was burning a hole in her pocket, she decided to hold off on giving it to her girlfriend. Instead they were just Sasha and Bellamy, doing lame domestic girlfriend things on a Saturday together. Sasha made them lunch and then they added foods and snacks to her grocery list that Bellamy would like, for when she’d inevitably come over throughout the week.

After errands were done, they went for a walk through the park that afternoon and then had dinner at a nice Indian place downtown. It wasn’t anything as delicious as something from New York City, and Sasha hinted she’d like to take Bellamy out in her hometown sometime.

——————

On Monday, Sasha was out of the office because she was shadowing Mr. Perth in the courtroom all week. She stopped by just to grab her notes and made a detour to Bellamy’s office fo leave a sealed envelope on her desk.

‘Puppy,

When you have time, please take a look at the enclosed list.

We don’t have to do everything on the list, but I want you to circle or add some things you’d like to try.

Also, feel free to add anything to the limits column. Most of mine are already there and should help give you an idea of what I’d like and what I want to avoid when you take up my offer of topping.

See you at dinner tonight,

~Mistress Bambi’




——————-

On Wednesday, Sasha had to rush to the estate after work to have dinner with her parents and grandparents. Her moms were flying back to New York the next day so it was just a quiet little dinner to say goodbye. That meant Bellamy was actually home that evening with Charlotte. They ordered delivery from a really nice Italian place, Charlotte liked to cook but was usually wiped out after a long day at the office so ordered out more than she’d like to admit. Mr. Stubs seemed to understand the fanciness of their dinner and of course perched himself on the table, making attempts to steal Bellamy’s protein whenever he thought she wasn’t looking.

“You are the rudest feral gremlin.” Charlotte grumbled at Mr. Stubs, but pat his head and gave him an unbreaded piece of chicken parmigiana. He darted away with his prize, taking it under the couch to eat at his leisure. “So, I was thinking... How would you feel about going to Flex this Saturday? It’s that gay bar downtown. They’re nicer than the others ones, have karaoke and a drag show. I already talked to David about it and he was onboard, Sasha’s been out of the office all week though so I haven’t gotten a chance to ask her yet.” Drunk Charlotte looovveeedd karaoke. She couldn’t find a note to save her life, but after a few drinks she liked to sing. In college she had often dragged Bellamy up with her to stumble through a duet.

Besides her love of karaoke, she also wanted to show Bellamy some support. Sure she had opened up her home to her old friend, but they hadn’t talked much about any of the big changes since then. Bellamy never brought Sasha around the house; whether it was because she was trying to be a polite guest or because she was ashamed, Charlotte didn’t know. She figured that a fun night out at a gay bar would show Bellamy that her new love life didn’t make her uncomfortable.
 
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When Bellamy recalled everything that happened the next morning, her head swirled, and she blushed furiously. Sasha's voice still ran by her ear, each and every command sending a tingle up her spine. Just thinking about it caused her to chew at her lower lip, so very tempted to finish what started the night before. However, another part of her restrained her impatience, reminding her of her place, a place she very much liked. Even if she truly believed Sasha to be the bad influence... Bellamy knew her own actions remained just as damning.

Bellamy pushed Sasha, she teased her, and she got her just deserts. More than that, she loved it. Even the morning after, when she felt the need to orgasm more than ever, she regretted nothing. After all, she got to show off, and drunk or not, Bellamy liked displaying those sides of herself to Sasha. She wanted her girlfriend to see her as cute, as sexy, and hopefully, as irresistible. She still needed to push a bit harder for that last one, though, as Sasha managed to resist thus far.

Evil! But she loved her... especially the part that spoke to her after and waited for her to start falling asleep before wishing her a good night's sleep and ending the call.

---

Of course, that morning, Bellamy thought about the night before for the last time. While she went out to meet Sasha, neither of them brought up the scene. Even if Bellamy wanted to, her embarrassment made it difficult. Furthermore, sexy or not, Bellamy just wanted to spend some time with Sasha... the girlfriend. Just as they agreed previously, their time as Mistress and Puppy remained in its own space, and for the day, they remained as Sasha and Bellamy.

What being themselves entailed was a day of absolute normalcy. At least, it should have been. Only, while going to the store and that sort of thing seemed mundane to Sasha, Bellamy experienced something different.

While Bellamy's sheltered life left her ignorant of many "normal" things, she still understood grocery shopping and the like. After all, she needed to live, and she gained a good deal of street smarts during her travels, secret hobbies, and work at the legal clinic and community center. Still, she never experienced anything like domestication. Even at Charlotte's, they mainly ordered in or relaxed after long days at the firm. So, she enjoyed her time, enough to not even think about sex... much. Fortunately, thoughts of visiting the big city with Sasha helped distract her.

---

Once they returned to work, Bellamy struggled with two things. The first of which proved a stubborn problem. Just like the week before, Bellamy struggled against her own desires, lacking an outlet to vent. However, she preferred that problem to the other.

Bellamy seemed to constantly fight with herself that week, becoming a tad insecure about her relationship with Sasha. She knew things needed to go slow for both of them, but every time she said "I love you" and didn't hear anything back, she felt crushed. It got to the point that she questioned whether she should keep saying it, wondering if avoiding the words altogether would make Sasha feel more comfortable. Bellamy started to believe it would be more comfortable for herself, or at least make her feel less vulnerable.

Sasha's absence made things more difficult, leaving Bellamy to her own thoughts. They still spent some time together that week. However, Bellamy found herself alone often enough. Even the note about kinks did little to cheer her up, though she did delve into it the moment she arrived home.

---

By the end of the week, Bellamy looked exhausted. She managed to keep herself going, but she needed a distraction from her own desires and everything else seeming to drain her. Charlotte's suggestion hit the nail on the head, causing Bellamy to grow excited. In all honesty, Charlotte's support no longer surprised her. While her family seemed unable to accept her, something sure to be true of many others in her social circle as well, Charlotte stood strong. From the very first day, Charlotte stayed with her. Even when she displayed her affection publically, or on the rare occasions she shared her feelings, Charlotte took it in stride and proved herself a worthy best friend.

"That sounds fun. Perhaps it will be different from the dive bars Sasha and David seem to like so much." Bellamy loved spending time with Sasha, but she felt about the same way as Charlotte about the choice in establishments.

For a moment, Bellamy considered asking Charlotte if she were sure about going, but she stopped herself, not wanting to question her good intentions. She knew Charlotte meant it, so she smiled and ran off after dinner, so caught up in her happiness that she forgot just how tone-deaf her friend was.

---

When the time finally came, Bellamy made quite the effort to get ready. The truth was, she didn't even know whether she was gay. While she didn't find men appealing, her time as "straight" being less about attraction and more about what was "normal," she never thought about finding women attractive. In fact, she rarely thought about attraction or sex at all, never having been impressed with it, not until Sasha.

If anything, Bellamy honestly thought she wouldn't need sex or love if not for Sasha. As crazy as it sounded, she never met someone before or after the other girl that caused her to act like such an idiot. She never grew nervous or shy, and while she had been with a few people, nobody pulled her into their orbit like Sasha. Even from behind a mask, the girl seemed special. Honestly, she felt lucky her desperation drove her to look for any way out that night at the masquerade. She got another chance to be with the only person that ever moved her heart.

Being so smitten meant a few things, among which was Bellamy's desire to show off, planning to display her crazy love for Sasha and show how proud she was at having such an amazing girlfriend. What did that mean to her? It meant dressing to impress.

The jeans she wore didn't matter, though she did make sure they made her ass look perfect. After that, it came down to sneakers and a t-shirt, followed by a zip-up hoodie and a few rather fashionable accessories. Charlotte had helped her pick out some clothes when she first arrived, and they all suited a night out at a bar better than anything Bellamy would have picked out for herself. She looked eye-catching and very sexy, and it didn't end there either.

Displayed front and center, taking the place of the guitar pick that usually hung around her neck, was her collar! She acted like things were normal, even as Charlotte gawked and began telling her how bad of an idea it was. Even when they got to the club, she walked in with confidence, looking absolutely stunning... and collared... and oblivious. And she didn't even wait for David and Sasha to order a fruity beverage.
 
This week felt like it would never end. Usually work didn’t make her tired...it was just the work with no breaks + night at the estate + trying to find time to spend with her girlfriend + trying to find time for herself that wiped her out. Saturday was here though and she planned on having lots of fun with no responsibilities. She has looked up the bar before hand and it seemed pretty cool: the downstairs had a stage and tables for events like karaoke and drag shows, and the upstairs was a dance floor split between an indoor and outdoor area.

Dressing for a gay bar was always a bit of a balancing act for Sasha. She was small and cute...a fact that made her work extra hard to appear tough. If she dressed very feminine she always got pegged for a bottom and hit on by bigger butchier lesbians that were hard to politely get rid of. The only attention she wanted tonight was Bellamy’s, so she settled on a tomboyish outfit of a white button down that had the sleeves rolled up, a skinny black tie, and jeans that hugged her hips and rear to keep the whole thing from being too formal.

After a long week, she was ready to cut loose and probably drink too much, so she took an Uber Black instead of driving herself. When she got to the club it was still kind of early, but the downstairs was starting to get packed because of karaoke. She found her friends already at the bar and drinking, David having gotten here a little bit before her. She snuck up behind Bellamy and wrapped her arms around her, giving her a tight hug. “I missed you,” she coaxed her into turning around so that she could kiss her, but something about Bellamy’s outfit gave her pause.

Sasha didn’t know whether to laugh or be worried.

“I told you not to wear it.” Charlotte couldn’t hold back her ‘I told you so’ once she saw Sasha’s surprised face, then took another sip of her drink.

True, the collar had probably earned Bellamy a lot of strange looks and gossipy whispers. David was one of those people who looked like his brain was going to explode as he tried to figure out their dynamic....she knew they probably appeared to be an odd pairing: a tall muscular Bellamy dominated by a cute little thing like her. And yeah, it was a little different for her, having usually dated girls her height or shorter. But she had the most adorable Puppy on the planet and sexiest girlfriend in the world, she wouldn’t change Bellamy at all!

Her hands came up to cup Bellamy’s jaw as she stood on tiptoes and kissed her, a bright smile on her lips for a good half of it. “I love you so much you big silly doof.” She hadn’t planned on saying it like this, wanting such a declaration to be said in a more romantic place. But she was just so happy; Bellamy made her so happy she couldn’t hold it back anymore. Her fingers drifted down, coming around to the clasp of the collar to remove it. “I love you and you won’t need this to show you’re mine, I plan on being very close to you all night.”

——————-

“Bellamy, sing with meeeeeee!” an hour into their evening, Charlotte was already drunk. That meant drunk karaoke with her best friend! The performers had been split pretty evenly between people who couldn’t sing to save their lives and people who could. David, it turned out, had landed in the ‘could’ pile. He had been a theatre minor in college and could really sing; and he had been a different person on stage! Handsome and smooth instead of quiet and nerdy, Charlotte had spent his entire performance of ‘Walking in Memphis’ wanting to pounce on him.

So of course, in Charlotte’s sloshed mind, she would show off to David by singing! She was terrible, she knew that, but she was pretty good at amping up a crowd in this state...she just needed Bellamy to help her because her friend didn’t sound nearly as bad as she did.

——————-

Sasha was going to die up here.

She was going to die and then she was going to use her ghost to haunt her friends for making her come up here.

She had politely declined, but drunk Charlotte didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. David was also curious about her singing, knowing that she played and her moms performed professionally. And Bellamy had always liked when she sang to her at camp....though hadn’t been pushy like the other two. So Sasha had gotten peer pressured up here and was looking just a tiny bit pale. It was silly being this old and afraid of being on a stage...but that rational thought didn’t keep her stomach from tying itself up in knots.

She could sing quite well, but her nerves made her voice waver for the first few bars. Charlotte and David cheered for her...but the idea that it was just her friends and Bellamy listening to her helped calm her down a little bit, at least enough for her voice to clearly ring out for the chorus.

“And I can tell
When you get nervous
You think being yourself, means being unworthy ~
And it's hard to love with a heart that's hurting
But if you want to go out dancing

I know a place
I know a place we can go ~”

MUNA’s ‘I Know a Place’ was a pretty popular song in gay bars, and a lot of the crowd sang the chorus with her. Sasha had seen her mom preform many a time, and while she didn’t have Alex’s self confidence on the stage, she faked it pretty well. She managed to get through the rest of the song without her voice failing her. When it was over she just about ran off the stage in her eagerness to get down. Rather than take her seat back next to Bellamy, she slid into her lap instead, seeking safety.
 
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Sasha looked adorable. Even if Bellamy knew what she tried to go for with her outfit, she saw nothing but her cute little Bambi. Tomboyish or not, Bambi provided a lovely picture for the big bad Bellamy, and she wanted to eat her up.

Bellamy smiled, amused by her thoughts. "Missed you too," Bellamy responded as she watched Sasha look at her outfit with a splash of surprise in her eyes.

"Shush," Bellamy hissed at Charlotte, frowning as she turned her eyes back to Sasha, starting to get a bit nervous. The idea that Charlotte was right bounced around in her head, and she nearly started chastising herself for making a dumb decision, even if she felt proud to display her collar for the world to see. Just like with "I love you," Bellamy wanted to make sure to avoid scaring Sasha off by being too forward.

All the stares when she arrived, and even David's obvious confusion, didn't bother Bellamy, but the moment Sasha paused, she felt nervous. Fortunately, after a moment of agonizing silence, Sasha reached up, cupped her jaw, and kissed her. Then, when Bellamy thought she had reached the peak of happiness, Sasha said a combination of words that Bellamy craved more than anything else.

"You love me?" Bellamy asked on instinct, her eyes wide and sparkling as she revealed a bright smile. Happiness overwhelmed her, causing Bellamy to do nothing but smile like an idiot as Sasha reached up and removed the collar. Even with the removal of the symbol of their power dynamic, Bellamy remained chipper, as perky as anyone in the bar. In fact, she even smiled at David, giving him a brief moment of attention to spread her good news. She barely stopped herself from telling everyone like an excited grade-schooler.

---

From there, the night took an interesting turn. For once, Bellamy felt loose and up for anything, full of energy and confidence after Sasha's sudden confession. She drank a little more, showed plenty of public affection, and even agreed to sing at some point during the night. Charlotte definitely planned on making her live up to that promise.

Charlotte didn't know that Bellamy looked forward to her moment on stage, planning to sing to Sasha as if they were in a cheesy movie. She even had a song in mind, though her plan went up in smoke quickly. Charlotte was drunk, and drunk Charlotte refused to allow Bellamy her chance to be a love-struck idiot. Instead, she pulled her on stage for a song neither of them could sing. Bellamy questioned whether Charlotte even knew what song she chose, singing from the prompter with dead eyes. Why in the hell did she end up on stage with a tone-deaf Charlotte singing a song nobody could make good? Why in the hell was she singing something called Cotton-Eyed Joe?

By the time they got off the stage, Bellamy's pout had grown in size, causing her entire face to be an adorable mix of embarrassment and disappointment. Her voice wouldn't blow anyone away, but she could sing! She wanted Sasha to hear it, yet she ended up singing garbage with Charlotte. She hated everything!

---

Bellamy's horrible experience killed her compassion. So, when Sasha's turn came, she managed to be ruthless, smiling at her girlfriend, telling her that she believed in her, and adding an "I love you" for good measure. She needed to make sure Sasha knew that she loved her, in case her being forced on stage made her reconsider their relationship. Obviously, she couldn't let that happen.

Unsurprisingly, Sasha managed to sing well. While some people may assume her singing would be good because of her parents, Bellamy believed in her for a different reason. She believed in Sasha because she remembered her singing when they were kids, and she always loved her voice. The fact that the song hit her strangely hard only made her smile more, a loving look on her face the entire time Sasha remained on stage.

When Sasha returned, Bellamy wrapped her arms around the girl, happy she chose to sit in her lap. As she hugged her tight, she rested her chin on Sasha's shoulder, not doing anything more. Even when the urge to nip at her neck and ear appeared, she ignored it, remaining like they were.

"Your singing was as beautiful as ever," Bellamy said, her hands moving down and clasping around Sasha's, eventually interlocking their fingers. For a while, she didn't say anything else, enjoying the position and the surprisingly competent singer that went up after Sasha. It was only after a moment that she nuzzled at Sasha's neck and kissed her softly.

"Want to go dance? We haven't had a chance since the masquerade. It could be fun." Bellamy didn't know what to do at bars or clubs, but she wanted Sasha to have a good time. Without darts or pool tables, dancing seemed to be the thing to do. Besides, as much as she liked hanging out as four, she knew Charlotte wanted some time alone with David, and she wanted some time with Sasha. It seemed like the perfect opportunity. Though, she did shoot David a warning look before heading off with Sasha. If he even dared... No, she didn't need to worry. If anything, maybe she should have given Charlotte a warning about how to act properly.
 
Sasha blushed at Bellamy’s compliment, barely resisting the urge to duck her head and hide in her neck. She was very critical of herself when she performed vocally, same as her mother. But she accepted the compliment with a soft and thankful kiss to her lover’s temple. For awhile they just sat that way together, Sasha happy to just cuddle and watch other people preform while lingering nerves calmed down. But Bellamy asked her if she wanted to dance, and of course she wouldn’t say ‘no’. “That sounds perfect,” she smiled and hopped out of her lap, taking her girlfriend’s hand and leading her upstairs towards the pounding music.

Three drinks and six songs later, Sasha seemed to intent on dismantling Bellamy’s self control piece by piece. Years of ballroom and swing lessons had branched off to a brief foray into hip-hop and modern. She could do things with her hips that were downright unfair, and was right now busy grinding her ass seductively into Bellamy’s front, reaching up to grab the back of her lover’s neck while she tilted her head up and back to kiss under her girlfriend’s jaw.

Dancing had alcohol pumping through her veins all the faster. Right now all she wanted was the strong body behind her in a bed and underneath her. There was a little voice of reason somewhere in her head, screaming ‘You had a plan! What the fuck are you doing?!’ but she barely heard it over the thrumming bass of the music. She turned around, pressing fully into Bellamy’s front as she leaned up to kiss her. Sasha’s alcohol fueled lust had her bucking into Bellamy’s hips, nails digging into the other girl’s shoulders as she barely held back a moan. She broke for air, but still wanted her mouth on Bellamy. So she nipped her ear and growled, “I wish you had worn a skirt tonight...because I definitely would have worn my strap and fucked my gorgeous collared Puppy on this dance floor.”

Sasha bit at the sensitive flesh below her ear, sucking a little mark right there as a replacement to the collar. She was about to open her mouth and say more filthy things when someone actually -hit- her. It wasn’t hard, but it was definitely a hit. She whipped around, prepared to tell whoever to ‘fuck of,’ but was greeted to the sight of David dancing with Charlotte.

David was mouthing ‘Help me!’ over Charlotte’s shoulder. With those big pleading eyes, Sasha couldn’t say ‘no’. She turned back around and gave Bellamy a quick kiss. “I’ll be right back, okay? Maybe convince Charlotte to drink some water.” As drunk as she was, she realized that Charlotte was a little farther gone at the moment and was surely going to regret it in the morning.

“Hey David! Come do a shot with me!” Sasha shouted over the music, a smile on her lips even though she had daggers in her eyes. She should be dancing with her girlfriend and not saving David from whatever thing he needed saving from! Charlotte didn’t seem to too terribly mind being separated from her partner, going over towards Bellamy to hang out with her while the two of them disappeared to the bar.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, Sasha. I didn’t mean to hit you. Charlotte is just...making it very hard not to be...hard.” David cringed at his own phrasing as they escaped to the safety of the bar. “I don’t know what to do!”

“David, she’s been trying to mount you for like a week, at least.” Sasha laughed, ordering them two shots because if they were hiding at the bar, they might as well drink.

“She has?”

“Yeah, dumbass. She likes you.”

“Well I can’t sleep with her! We work together. And...you know...she’s -really- drunk right now.” David sighed, “She’s really nice and really pretty and I do like her...but I’m no good at this stuff. I’ll just ruin it and then it’ll be awkward at work.”

Sasha nodded. He did bring up several good points. But she thought it was silly to not take a chance if he liked her. “Maybe just escort her and Bellamy home?” David was the least drunk of the three of them, and honestly Sasha wouldn’t mind him seeing her girlfriend home on her behalf, as well as taking a chance to talk to Charlotte himself “Ask her on a date before you go? See if she remembers in the morning and if not, well, I guess you both can keep pretending you don’t like each other.”

——————-

“Bellamy, I love you like my own flesh and blood, but I plan on having very loud, very obnoxious sex with David tonight and will not be held liable for anything you might hear. So I’m going to need you to do everything in your power to go home with Sasha tonight.” Charlotte was drunk, but she was the kind of drunk that came with clarity! She was tired of David’s obliviousness, she knew he was interested. She could feel him holding back because he was innocent and chivalrous and sweet and it all just made Charlotte want to ride him and see just how many of those qualities stuck around in the bedroom.

Charlotte was a very picky woman...she didn’t just sleep with men that didn’t check all her boxes. David was handsome, he was smart, he loved animals, and he was a sweet beta male...and there were a lot of other little things that had interested her in their terrible hangouts at dive bars together. While she wasn’t the biggest romantic, she did have her standards, and though she may be drunk she was very aware of what she was doing.
 
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Bellamy's joy lasted all of fifteen minutes once they started to dance. She loved Sasha, she really loved her, but the smaller woman tormented her endlessly, turning what started as an innocent dance together into something lascivious. It left Bellamy a panting mess, her cheeks flushed as she tried to keep dancing despite her obvious desire. She wanted to keep acting perfect, resisting the urges that Sasha insisted upon poking and prodding time and time again.

"Sasha..." she whimpered her lover's name, looking at her with pleading eyes that fought against the mounting desire to take control and stop her once and for all. She struggled against her baser instinct, determined to show Sasha her good side.

"Cut it out," she kept protesting, but Sasha showed no intention of backing down. If anything, she appeared more determined than ever, the look on her face one of joy at Bellamy's hot-and-bothered state.

Her teasing broke the final straw, causing Bellamy to release the cutest, most desperate whine of her life. Although the idea of Sasha fucking her in a bar gave her pause, it also sounded beyond arousing, sending her mind and body scrambling to understand her true feelings on the subject.

"I... I'll wear one next time?" she asked, intending it as a statement but not maintaining enough calm and control to display confidence in her current state. At most, she managed to summon enough rationality to carry a conversation, but her ability to retain control ended there.

Fortunately, David found himself in trouble as well, the two of them in equally precarious positions. The male, Charlotte's clear target for the night, reached out for aid, and in doing so, he saved Bellamy from offering herself up then and there. Dance floor or not, people or not, promise or not, Bellamy knew her willpower stood zero chance. If Sasha wanted something, she only needed to ask. Bellamy's entire being belonged to her, and denying her, even if she wanted to, seemed impossible.

Only, Bellamy felt as if she leaped from the frying pan into the fire, faced with an unreasonable demand that trapped her between hell purgatory and hell. On the one hand, the idea of listening to Charlotte and David have sex caused her to gag. She wanted no part of that, none at all. Just the mention of it sent her eyes darting for the doors, her fight or flight pushing her to get a head start on what sounded like the worst night ever.

When she calmed down, she realized that even listening to their stomach-churning lovemaking sounded better than going to Sasha's place. As much as she loved her girlfriend, she doubted her own self-control. If she ended up at Sasha's apartment, Bellamy knew that only failure awaited her. The chances of her withstanding an entire night of Sasha's teasing attention bordered nil, especially if they ended up sharing a bed.

"I'll give you some space, but I'm not going to Sasha's!" Bellamy shouted, surprising herself as she did. No way, she refused. Bellamy wholeheartedly refused to walk to the gallows of her own free will. She remained firm on that all night, planning for a hotel, somewhere to sleep the alcohol off and escape the two nightmares placed before her. If only that worked out at all.
 
“Bellamy Wainwright you are going to be an adult and go sleep with your girlfriend instead of doing whatever ridiculously convoluted romantic thing you’re doing!” Charlotte couldn’t believe this madness. Her friend had confided in her that she was on ‘dating probation,’ and as adorable as it was that Sasha wanted to court her properly...she needed her house back for a night goddamnit!!

Usually Charlotte stayed out of things when it came to Bellamy, but she wasn’t going to give her that courtesy this time. Nope. She wanted to go home with David and wanted to make sure her drunk naive friend was somewhere safe tonight. She knew Bellamy was an adult and probably capable of taking care of herself, but the girl was drunk and didn’t do this often, so Charlotte worried.

It took very little effort to convince Sasha that her girlfriend would be better suited going home with her to sleep off her drunkenness than coming home with Charlotte . Of course Sasha would take care of silly drunk Bellamy; she loved her after all. But Charlotte had said Bellamy was too shy to ask, so Sasha should try to make it look like it was all her idea. That wasn’t a problem either: running on lots of alcohol and very few inhibitions, Sasha couldn’t remember why Bellamy was supposed to go home and sleep in her own bed in the first place.

Someone should have probably warned Bellamy that Sasha was very highly suggestible as well as very handsy when drunk.

Someone also should have cut Sasha off from hard liquor two shots ago.

But! No one had. So Sasha was happily dancing with Bellamy again, less seductive and growly with this new level of inebriation. She was now at the cute, nibbly, and ready to pass out stage. The prospect of sleeping in her large bed all alone seemed like a miserable fate. She proclaimed that she didn’t want Bellamy to go home tonight, “I’ll miss you if you go back home...I want you to come back to my place.” What harm was there in saying ‘yes’? It was late, Sasha was drunk, she was probably going to just fall asleep anyways when she got home. Bellamy should be fiiiiiine.

The redbull and vodka she had drank earlier decided to really kick in about halfway through the short ride back to her apartment. Sasha didn’t know which way was up, but being in her girlfriend’s lap and kissing her helped her feel more grounded. Bellamy would have her hands full of a pushy, tuggy Sasha from the curb all the way up to the bedroom.

Sasha wasted no time herding her beautiful lover into her bedroom, walking Bellamy backwards until she stumbled back onto the mattress. She pounced on top with less grace than normal, a little unsteady in her technique but very obvious in her mission, she yanked off her button down and the lacy bra underneath, glad to be rid of those constraints. Then she ducked her head down, teeth finding the soft flesh of Bellamy’s neck as her hands began making work of her top...though getting distracted as her fingers traced over the lines of her abs.
 
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Bellamy deflated at Charlotte's insistence, but she had already formulated a plan. She decided to see Sasha home and then find a hotel for the night. At least then she could avoid choosing between a night of teasing or a night of horror listening to Charlotte and David do... things she didn't even want to imagine.

Unfortunately, Charlotte seemed intent on ruining her plans, ratting her out the moment she got the chance. She straight up told Sasha that Bellamy needed a place to stay for the night, and in her drunken state, Sasha agreed! She agreed! Bellamy found herself in the midst of panic, having no idea what in the world she was supposed to do. If she went home with Sasha, especially with how the girl was acting, she was in trouble.

"I can just go to a hotel..." Bellamy muttered at one point, but the response made her shut up. Charlotte glared at her, seeming to think Bellamy was so naive and innocent that she couldn't even get a hotel room safely. As for Sasha, she simply shook her head and told her that she would come home with her, not taking no for an answer. After all, she already lured her in by saying she would miss her. So, it had been decided, and Bellamy couldn't do anything about it.

Therefore, Bellamy's mind descended into chaos, wondering whether Sasha just didn't care about their little agreement or if the entire night was going to be focused on torturing her. She had a feeling things would be difficult either way, mainly because she didn't know what she was going to do. Making that decision only became harder as Sasha pressed against her, being way too handsy for a girl who wanted to wait to sleep together. Not that her being evil was anything new!

---

By the time they left the bar, Bellamy felt as if she were on the verge of breaking down. In the car, the journey into madness continued as Sasha insisted on sitting in her lap, kissing her the entire time. As handsy as ever, the entire ride ended up being a light display of voyeurism, one that ended with Bellamy giving the driver a rather scary look, daring him to keep watching. It wasn't really the man's fault, it was Sasha's, but she couldn't blame her adorable, drunk girlfriend.

Actually, she could blame her. No, she did blame her. Sasha was acting cruel, telling her that she needed to wait for sex and then taking every opportunity she could to tease her! Tonight was just a much worse version of the game they had been playing since they started dating, which left Bellamy needy and frustrated and Sasha amused. After all, it was Sasha who wanted to avoid going too fast. Bellamy didn't hate the idea, but after being teased and edged for so long, she lost her taste for it. Still, she was patient. She controlled herself... At least, she tried to. She tried so damn hard, yet Sasha wouldn't leave her be!

Bellamy was already struggling to hold it together when they reached the apartment, and by the time they got to the bedroom, her body was burning up, full of uncontrollable desire. So, when Sasha climbed on top of her and started yanking at her clothes, touching her body, she lost it.

Sasha bit at her and touched her abs, and while Bellamy stiffened, she also released a very frustrated, very unexpected growl. Even she didn't know what was going on with her, but before she could question herself, she had wrapped her arms around Sasha and switched their positions.

Now that she was on top, Bellamy looked down, a dark expression and hungry eyes boring into Sasha. Her girlfriend seemed surprised, but she didn't pay it any mind, her emotions taking control as she leaned down and bit her neck hard, leaving a nice, claiming bite mark. She even started to remove clothing and touch her, strong hands exploring a very responsive body.

However, when Sasha began to moan, clearly caught up in the passion as much as Bellamy, it caused her to pause. No, she shouldn't continue, she had promised! If Sasha woke up... She didn't even want to think about it. Therefore, after a few more kisses and a reluctant whine, she stopped, pulling back a bit and looking down at her girlfriend, at the woman she loved. She had agreed not to do anything, and here she was, barely able to stop herself from not only having sex but initiating it.

"I... I'm a beast," Bellamy groaned, her eyes looking at the mark on Sasha's neck. She already knew it wouldn't be easy to hide, and if she were honest, it was only the first of many things she wanted to do. She wanted so, so, so much more. She wanted to hear Sasha cry out. She wanted to have a night of countless orgasms and be hoarse the next morning. She wanted so damn much, and she was about to stop herself from having any of it. She hated everything. But she loved Sasha, and she didn't want to screw things up, not after doing so well for so long.
 
Sasha let out a soft yelp of surprise as her world suddenly turned and she found herself on her back. She blinked up at Bellamy, as if seeing her for the first time...which, in a sense, she was. Every time she had had the other girl, she had been on her back like a good sub. Now the roles were starting to reverse and her sluggish mind couldn’t figure out what to do with this turn of events. If she had all her wits about her, Sasha actually enjoyed the challenge that was topping from the bottom but because most of her sense had long been drowned out by too many Long Island Iced Teas, she couldn’t formulate a way to stay in control. Her brain decided it was better to just shut off and go with it, sending Sasha spiraling out further into easily understood, raw need. Bellamy loved her. Bellamy would take care of her. She needn’t worry about anything.

Before she knew it she was rolling her hips into Bellamy’s, helping her remove her top so that she could grab at her bare back to pull them tighter together, seeking more skin on skin contact. When blunt teeth sank into her neck, she moaned, back arching, heels digging into the mattress, “Fuck!” Sasha whimpered in frustration, starting to squirm now because she wanted out of these goddamn pants and to be fucked within an inch of blacking out already!!

Bellamy’s whine and the sudden loss of warm skin and firm muscle pressed against her distracted her from trying to get out of her jeans. Her lover was above her, looking conflicted and staring at her neck. Sasha thought her puppy was just upset at being too rough; the bite had hurt but it hadn’t been anything she couldn’t handle. It was silly for Bellamy to stop just over a little love bite! “You’re -my- beast,” Sasha giggled and cupped the back of her neck, urging her back down so she could kiss her. “Mmm...it’s alright sweetheart, you can mark me as much as you want. I like it a little rough, and I like belonging to you.” She’d probably regret those words Monday morning when she’d be wearing a turtle neck, but for now the honesty seemed like a good route to go, especially if it convinced Bellamy to take off her pants faster.

“Do you wanna get the strap Bell? Show me how tough my big strong Puppy is and claim me?” Sasha murmured as she nipped at her. “It’s in the top drawer of my dresser,” a different place for it now, not locked up in her case of toys. But that just was the natural migration of her strap when she had cause to use it more...plus she had set it aside for some special reason she couldn’t quite remember right now.
 
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You're -my- beast.

Nothing prepared Bellamy for those words. Her entire body and mind shook, stirred up by the implications and by what Sasha said next. She liked it rough, and she belonged to Bellamy. "I..." Bellamy's hesitance quickly started to falter, and her mind buzzed with thoughts that decimated her previous rationality. Sasha wanted to take it slow, and she agreed to it, so why did her mind fill with those of destroying the beautiful woman looking up at her from the bed.

Sasha's lovely voice, her every action, it all pushed at Bellamy, digging at the part of her that managed to cling to what she should do and not what she wanted to do. As if it weren't hard enough before she spoke about the strap, sending yet another burst of indecision and desire jolting through her, fighting inside her body and mind, keeping her frozen in place as she tried to come to terms with... everything.

Eventually, seeming defeated by her primal desires, she stepped back towards the bed and bent down, capturing Sasha's lips in a very fiery, passionate, almost dominant kiss. She no longer asked what the other woman wanted. She already knew. Even if the alcohol influenced it, they both wanted the same thing, and she convinced herself it was fine.

"I love you, Sasha." She kissed her again, every bit of desire pouring out of her. It seemed as if the dam holding her back had been breached, and there was nothing that could stop her. However, when she straightened back up and headed to get the strap, she paused. Her fists clenched and her breathing grew labored, the battle within her starting anew. Only, this time, it ended more quickly, and the confidence and certainty washed away.

Bellamy felt like punching something, feeling more frustrated than ever. "Damn it!" she cursed, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself down. In the end, she knew something to be true, which was that she couldn't stay in the same room as Sasha.

So, after finally calming herself down enough to turn back towards the delicious sight on the bed, she walked over and leaned down to kiss Sasha on the head. "I really, really love you. And I want to spend a long time by your side..." Bellamy paused, barely able to get the next words out of her mouth, "So we can't have sex tonight."

After saying that, she stood up and turned away, having to fight her entire being to do so. Nothing in her life had ever been so hard. The task was so difficult that she didn't even make a cute noise, appearing drained by every step she took. "I'll be on the couch tonight. I love you. Sleep tight." She practically ran away after that, not even bothering to get a pillow or blanket as she darted out of danger.
 
Sasha didn’t bottom often, but she was more than ready to see what Bellamy could do to her tonight. Their grinding and feverish kisses had her soaked, and her girlfriend’s professions of love had her trusting and reassured. Even though her lover had never used a strap before, Sasha knew it was going to be good because it was going to be with Bellamy. “I love you too, Bell,” Sasha panted as they broke away, eyes alight with eagerness and desire as the other girl slid off of her and moved towards her dresser.

Desperately in need of relief, Sasha undid the the button and zipper on her jeans, tempted to play with herself while Bellamy got ready. And then something terrible happened - her girlfriend paused, cursed, and then told her they couldn’t have sex tonight.

They couldn’t have sex tonight?!?!

WHY THE FUCK NOT?!?!

Sasha didn’t know whether to quietly pout or to throw a fit as Bellamy kissed the top of her head and then left. Every part of her body thrummed with arousal! Her underwear was ruined and Bellamy was just going to leave her here like this?!?!?!??!? This couldn’t be happening!!! “Argghfmph!!!” She at least had the decency to shout into her pillow to not wake the neighbors. She had never been in this state before, girls never told her ‘no.’ It had never gotten this far and then just been yanked away from her!

As frustrated as she was, she couldn’t stay mad. She had always insisted that Bellamy had final say, all her subs had. If she couldn’t respect her lover’s choice, then she was no better than that dickbag Jared. It pained her, greatly, but she pulled herself together enough to get out of bed with the comforter and a pillow, and make her way to the living room.

“I’ll be good,” she couldn’t keep the pout out of her voice, obviously she really, really, didn’t want to be good. “But I wasn’t lyin’ when I said I’d miss you...” She waited for Bellamy to give some sort of approval before climbing onto the couch with her. Without lust to fuel her, it appeared that alcohol just made Sasha very sleepy and in need of many snuggles. The couch was comfortable...but to say it was built for two people to sleep on it was a bit of a stretch. Sasha did manage to tuck herself comfortably under Bellamy’s chin and contour herself against the other girl’s body without being too close to the edge of the couch, and she soon passed out just like that.

————-

“Bell’s too hoott,” Sasha slurred in the middle of the night, still a little drunk. She nudged at her giant furnace until she woke up, “Real bed.” She pouted, nuzzling at her. Sasha was sleepy and didn’t want to get up, but was also uncomfortable and needed to move. Jesus, was she still wearing her jeans?! The discomfort finally won out, the idea of being able to stretch her legs and actually roll over without falling to the floor too irresistible. She dragged herself up off the couch, taking the entire blanket with her in the process and leaving Bellamy topless and in the cold. “Bring pillow,” she muttered, half asleep but managing to shimmy out of her jeans without dropping the blanket or falling over. Now that she was a little more settled, she took Bellamy’s hand, carefully leading the other girl back to her bedroom in the pitch black of the apartment.

Only when they both laid down did she share the blanket again, tugging at her girlfriend so that she’d be big spoon.

—————

Sasha woke the next morning to a pounding headache and the smell of something burning. She shot out of bed, stumbling her way out into the open living room/kitchen, where the source of the burning appeared to be Bellamy making her breakfast.

“Jesus Christ, Bell, you scared me,” relieved that her apartment wasn’t on fire, she leaned heavily against the wall and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She was trying to piece together what had happened last night and why Bellamy was making her breakfast, but everything was out of order and her head hurt. “Sweetheart, lemme help you,” she finally settled on that maybe some coffee and breakfast would help. But first, pants! Because apparently she was in just her panties and nothing else.

She went back to her bedroom, finding an oversized shirt and a pair of plaid bottoms to put on. Sasha was hungover, today was going to be lazy day. She brushed some of the mess out of her hair and pulled it back, eyes going wide as she saw the enormous bite mark on the side of her neck. “BELLAMY!!” She shouted, voice high in panicked surprise as she inspected the angry bruise her overzealous puppy had left. How was she supposed to cover this thing up?!?!!?! There was not enough concealer in the world for this!

Sasha let out a defeated groan. Well. She couldn’t do anything about it now. And she couldn’t even stay mad because her puppy was trying to make her breakfast/burn down her apartment. It was a shame they couldn’t have sex yet, because Sasha would definitely take Bellamy over her knee after their meal and spank her bottom red if they could.

She came out of her room, eyes narrowed as she gestured at her throat. “Bad Puppy!” she scolded, but didn’t yell any further. She hadn’t set up this boundary yet so it would be unfair to yell at Bellamy for this....even though she still had no idea how she was supposed to cover this thing up next week. “If you want to bite me, not up so high...lower so my collared shirts can cover it. Honestly anywhere is fine...I just need to be able to cover it up for work.” She came closer, wrapping her arms around Bellamy and giving her a tight hug to show she wasn’t mad, not really, Sasha vaguely remembered receiving the bite and thoroughly enjoying.
 
Bellamy never questioned her own sanity more than she did when she walked out of that room. Sasha was in there, she wanted her, and yet Bellamy said no. Why did she say no?! She screamed in her head, her fists clenched again as she resisted the urge to turn back around. She had to stay strong, though.

Unfortunately, staying strong meant a cold couch, all by herself, moping. She blamed Sasha! She was so mean, being all sexy and playful even though it was her choice not to have sex. Worse than that, she had outright told Bellamy to fuck her. She had said the words! Bellamy knew she was drunk, so it wasn't exactly some sort of test. But it sure felt like it!

Bellamy found herself getting legitimately angry, but not at Sasha. She felt angry because her own actions had pushed her into a spot where she had to torture herself just to prove she took their relationship seriously. If the younger her had been less fearful or the current her more vocal, things would have gone differently. Perhaps she wouldn't be seen as some untrustworthy person... Someone who would break Sasha's heart. She never wanted to do that.

Damn it.

She did the right thing for their relationship. What she didn't expect was that she would be rewarded for it.

As strange as calling Sasha appearing with a comforter and blanket a reward, the gesture was enough for Bellamy to know she made the right decision. Sasha loved her, really loved her. She loved her enough to want to be by her side despite being rejected, even while she was drunk. Without any ability to think rationally, Sasha still wanted to be by her side enough to ignore everything else and join her on the couch. She missed her... and Bellamy barely held it together when she thought about that.

"I really love you, Sasha, more than anything." Bellamy hugged her tight, bearing some discomfort just to make sure Sasha had enough room to get to sleep. She didn't care if she woke up with a sore arm.

---

Bellamy barely remembered moving to the bed, but she felt thankful for it in the morning. When she woke up feeling refreshed, as crazy as the night had been, and upon seeing Sasha's sleeping face, she felt as if she had won a great battle. She managed not to succumb to her own desires! It was a hard-earned victory, but she didn't want to end things there.

Upon deciding to be even more impressive than she already was, Bellamy thought to make breakfast. Sure, she had never cooked anything in her life, but she watched people cook. Living with Charlotte, she had even seen how easy breakfast could be. Crack a few eggs, fry some bacon, put toast in a toaster. Everything took care of itself, with no complicated recipes or anything! Her confidence quickly turned into a nightmare...

When Charlotte made breakfast, it looked easy! Bellamy was on the verge of panicking as a burnt smell filled the air, and if not for Sasha running into the kitchen, she might very well have run in there to wake her up. With a relieved sigh, she hugged Sasha like a savior would their hero and nodded furiously when she said she would help.

"Sorry, it's harder than it looks." Bellamy wanted to pout, disappointed that her efforts didn't pan out, but she smiled instead, happy to see Sasha up and about... and sober. It was really nice, right up until the moment Sasha found the mark on her neck.

"I... But... Sorry," Bellamy looked at her feet, scuffing them against the floor as she tried not to say it was all her fault, though it was. She couldn't be so enticing and not expect something to happen.

"I'll remember that... Though, I was a pretty good girl last night. After all, I managed to stop myself there after being told you liked it rough and... to fuck you with the strap in the top of your dresser. I barely held myself back." Bellamy teased her while being honest, still being a bit sour that Sasha pushed like that, and she had to say no anyway.

She then turned and kissed Sasha. "It's good to know that I'm -your- beast, though."
 
“Crap, I forgot about that!” Sasha frowned as some of the pieces from last night fell back into place. She couldn’t remember exactly what she said, but could recall the burning desire to be ravished....either Bellamy was giving her the abridged PG version of what she had said, or her girlfriend had put a stop to everything before Sasha could really get carried away. Either way, she was thankful. Earlier in their relationship she had just wanted to take things slow to prove to herself that they could date like normal people and that there was so much more between them than just the sex... But now that she acknowledged that she loved Bellamy, she had a surprise planned out for their one month anniversary and the end of her girlfriend’s probationary period. She looked even more relieved they hadn’t done anything, especially because she wasn’t sure she would have remembered all of it.

“I’m sorry... Thanks for being the level headed one last night.” Sasha leaned up a gave Bellamy an appreciative kiss, “I won’t rescind that offer though. If you want to once you’re off girlfriend probation, I’ll let you do anything you like because you’ve been so good.” Sasha grinned, pecked Bellamy lightly on the cheek, then moved to start helping around the kitchen. First thing she did was down a glass of water to chase the hangover away. “I probably should’ve warned you how I can get. I didn’t mean to drink that much, well, I meant to drink quite a bit, but not quite like that. And I get a little...handsy when I’m that drunk,” Sasha smiled sheepishly. ‘Handsy’ was probably the understatement of the year. Black out Sasha was a menace. While the hours of drunk sex she could have in that state were fun, it always gave her a roaring hangover in the morning.

It turned out that the eggs were savable but the toast and bacon were beyond fixing. Sasha turned down the heat and then had Bellamy do the bacon over while she did the toast. “You know to put out a grease fire by smothering it, right? Water makes it bigger.” It had never really occurred to her before, but Sasha realized that Bellamy had probably never cooked. Whenever she stayed at the estate, Sasha wasn’t allowed to lift a finger because the staff did everything, and it must have been the same for the other girl. But for the entire time she had lived in New York, her mom had subjected her to chores. They could have easily afforded servants but Alex hated people waiting on her, and didn’t want Sasha growing up in that lifestyle. It had annoyed her as a teenager but now it made her a little sad that Bellamy didn’t have that...she didn’t have any memories of being a little pipsqueak and helping a parent in the kitchen.

Well, that was alright. Sasha could already see the two of them being together for quite awhile...at least the five months left to their internship. They had plenty of time to build lots of new memories together.

————

After breakfast and a shower, Sasha still felt like crap. She did manage to find an oversized Yale hoodie that had belonged to an ex and a pair of pajama bottoms that belonged to her mom before retreating to the couch. Both pieces would fit Bellamy comfortably when she got out of her shower. Still suffering from the remnants of her hangover, Sasha didn’t want to do anything all day but snuggle and lay about with her girlfriend. She even took a mid morning nap which she never did!

By afternoon she was feeling better, and a little more fun and flirty, enough to bring up the thing that had been on her mind for the whole week. “Did you ever get a chance to look at that list, Puppy?”
 
Bellamy smiled at Sasha, glad that she didn't seem completely stunned by what she did the night before. Perhaps her Bambi really did want to see an out of control Bellamy. Honestly, though, even Bellamy didn't know what that would have looked like. The bite, the roughness she seemed all too intent on delivering, all of that was just the tip of a very frustrated, very needy iceberg.

"It's okay. You're kind of killing me with all the teasing and asking me to sleep with you, but I'm surviving," Bellamy said, a hint of resentment in her tone, though it was all capped off with a smile and a peck on the lips. "I'll take you up on the offer eventually, though."

Bellamy moved from a chaste kiss to speaking in her ear, her hot breath and a sultry tone purposefully pushed forward to tease her cute girlfriend. "By then, perhaps I'll even have a better idea of what I'm doing," she said, following up with a bite to the ridge of her ear.

Sasha could be handsy, and Bellamy had to endure all of it, but it didn't mean she couldn't fight back a bit. Of course, she knew that all of her teasing would eventually come crashing back down, but she couldn't help herself. She liked pushing back, watching Sasha do the same thing she did when they were kids — get all growly when her authority was questioned or when Bellamy dared treat her like the cute Bambi she was.

For the moment, though, after a short back and forth brought on by the hellish night she had endured, they returned to the task at hand, which was Bellamy's absolute lack of skill in all domestic undertakings. As mature and capable as she was, when it came to cooking, cleaning, or taking care of basic things, she failed... all of it. Charlotte tried to teach her a few things, but they were too busy to also find time to shove twenty-something years of learning into their daily lives.

"I at least know that much. That being said, I'm not sure I would have remembered it," Bellamy said confidently, proud that she had some basic understanding of how not to kill them both, even if it was unlikely her inexperienced self would have thought that far if a fire had occurred.

Fortunately, Sasha was now by her side. After an initial disappointment that she failed to make breakfast, she got to work again, redoing the bacon under Sasha's tutelage. She kept calling her chef as she did, acting all serious and focusing on the crackling meat in her skillet. There was no way she was going to fail a second time!

---

The rest of the morning went really well, proving relaxing beyond Bellamy's expectations. After the last few weeks and the previous night, Bellamy had PTSD about Sasha and her touching. She loved it, she really did, but knowing it wasn't going to go anywhere drove her mad. In fact, after the night of edging phone sex, she had barely managed to hold back even in private. So, when their morning together turned into something lazy and comfortable, Bellamy couldn't have been more relieved. Finally, she had a chance to sit back and just be with Sasha. Of course, they had plenty of days like that, but she enjoyed them all.

Nothing good lasted long, though. Sasha soon looked at her and asked a question she somehow... somehow... didn't expect.

"Uh... yes... I did..." Bellamy responded in a choppy manner, already starting to short-circuit as she thought about all the kinks and her rather thorough research into a few of them. "Why?" she asked, looking at Sasha and gulping, already having a bad feeling about how frustrated she was going to be after whatever conversation came next.

---

Bellamy no longer knew what day it was. Her conversation with Sasha about kinks ended with her asking and saying a bunch of dumb, naive things that led to an afternoon of mental, sexual torture. She got to learn about spanking, about face-sitting, about... all of it. Yet no matter how curious or interested she was, she had to resist, only watching and hearing about things... Only adding more fuel to her nightly fantasies, where she finally got relief after what seemed like an eternity of being teased and taunted by her beautiful girlfriend.

By the time the firm dinner arrived, a day that all of them had been preparing for to impress their superiors, Bellamy was in rough shape. She still looked presentable, and she wore a very tasteful but sexy black dress, but internally, she was fried. She could barely think, especially when she saw Bellamy, and even Charlotte had told her she seemed on edge. It was going to be a rough night... One where she had to smile and make pleasant conversation like she wasn't a horny, frustrated, needy mess. She really needed a drink, or seven.
 
“Just curious.” Sasha grinned like the cat who caught the canary at Bellamy’s sudden change in demeanor. She had really just been wondering...but apparently the mere mention of the list had her girlfriend heated and bashful in seconds. “We didn’t get a chance to talk about it all week...so I just wanted to follow up,” Sasha prowled closer, climbing into Bellamy’s lap so that she could wrap her arms around her. There was no escaping this conversation. “What did you think?”

What followed was Sasha trying to sort out the list with Bellamy, but apparently her lover didn’t have a firm grasp on what some of the things were or why people would want to do them. Sasha gave her some pretty detailed definitions...as well as some naughtier examples, little fantasies of what she’d do to Bellamy if that were something she found interest in. Spanking was a difficult one to explain though...she hadn’t hurt Bellamy besides the biting and scratching. Those were spur of the moment things, not something as thought out or as targeted as spanking. So she had the bright idea to put Bellamy in that position! To have her lover drape herself over her knees and keep her ass up in the air. The response was immediate, even without Sasha touching her; the mere position put Bellamy into a mood and she tucked that knowledge away for later.

—————

Sasha had been counting down the days until their one month anniversary. It was juvenile, she knew it, but she had big plans for her and Bellamy this Saturday! On Friday they would have dinner with the firm, and then on Saturday she was going to take her girlfriend on a short hike, then take her to dinner at a really nice restaurant...and then come back to her apartment and make love to her properly.

Saturday couldn’t come fast enough! Especially with this hurdle of a dinner with the firm in her way. Having to prepare for a professional dinner on a weeknight really cut into her time for preparing for a big weekend. She had been rushing around her apartment Friday evening, trying to clean, get dressed, and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time. She actually had to call a car to pick her up and drive her to the venue, just so she had time to put her makeup on in the back.

One would be hard pressed to guess that Sasha had been frazzled and running around only half an hour before. At the banquet hall, she looked energetic and put together, absolutely lovely in a black dress that came off on one shoulder. She of course had her tattoo that looped around her left shoulder covered, but her right throat and collarbone were left bare, specifically to entice her bitey Bellamy. She had had to spend the entire week wearing high collars. Now that the bruise on her throat was gone she showed off the creamy soft skin that practically begged for the mark of a lover.

Sasha made her rounds during cocktail hour. Having grown up with one foot in the ‘normal’ world and another in high society, Sasha had an easy time chatting with everyone, even the maintenance workers and secretaries. She talked to Mr. Perth and a few of the junior partners for a little bit; Perth had nothing but glowing things to say about her after her first week and a half shadowing him in the courtroom. Then she excused herself to get a drink, settling on wine so that she didn’t get too sloshed. Then back into the foray, speaking to Mrs. Wynn and Mrs. Meyer this time. She was in no rush to find Bellamy, knowing they’d bump into each other eventually. It was actually better this way, she knew once she found her girlfriend, she wouldn’t want to leave her side.

When one of the servers announced that dinner would be served shortly, that’s when Sasha went searching for her girlfriend. She had seen her a few times out of the corner of her eye throughout the hour, but hadn’t acknowledged her past a little wave. As soon as she spotted her love this time, she sauntered over and easily slid her arm through hers. Only when the circle of people she had been chatting with disbanded to find a seat did Sasha lean up and give her a chaste kiss on the cheek, “You look beautiful tonight,” she murmured. She looked up at Bellamy like she wanted to do so much more than that little kiss, but she was very aware that they were at a work event and behaved.

Sasha’s behaving lasted about 15 minutes.

They had taken their seats with the other interns and had just finished their salads. The comfort of being with people who knew of the depth of their relationship relaxed her, enough that she let her hand wander over to Bellamy’s lap. She wasn’t doing anything incredibly inappropriate, just running her fingers along the firm muscle and envisioning those powerful thighs wrapped around her.

—————————

During coffee and dessert, a band started playing for the banquet hall. It wasn’t anything fancy, just some slow blues and jazz to end the night. A few of the older couples, including the firm’s partners and their spouses, had forgone their desserts to dance. By now most everyone was comfortably buzzed, fat and happy from a delicious dinner. There was still about an hour left to the dinner, plenty of time for people linger and chitchat or dance if they so chose.

“Come dance with me?” Sasha asked after they finished their dessert. She loved to dance, having taken lessons for years. As a child and teen she had taken lessons in just about everything. Sometimes her interest in things was fleeting, like when she had tried karate and clarinet. But dance and music had stuck with her throughout most of her formative years. It was a pleasant surprise that the partners had included this little bit of entertainment in with their delicious dinner. Dancing gave her an excuse to show off and touch Bellamy in ways she just couldn’t at the table.

She took her girlfriend’s hand and led her to the dance floor. A light tug put Bellamy into a closed position and a guiding hand on her lower back established Sasha as the lead. At first they were fine, the band played Freddy King’s ‘I’m Tore Down’. Doing inside and outside turns with a partner taller than her was a little awkward at first, but eventually they found movements that worked for them. And then the band played ‘I Can’t Quit You Baby’ and things just sort of devolved from there. Blues songs that ran on a slower tempo were smooth and inherently sensual with their crooners pouring their hearts out. Sasha had enough know how to be able to dance to such music without it being too sexual...but with Bellamy that proved to be impossible. It was far too easy to end up firmly against one another with her hand drifting lower down Bellamy’s back and her head resting under her chin. Guiding their hips together, Sasha led them through more intricate steps; even if Bellamy didn’t know them she’d be able to follow for the mere fact that Sasha left her nowhere else to go.
 
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