Reaching Out To People

[HasturTheKing]

How strange is it to reach out to people on here without wanting to roleplay with them? I'm suffering a terrible case of writers block minute but I still want partcipate in the hobby and I see interesting people that I'd like to talk all the the time but I'm hestitant to so for fear of coming off as strange or unusual.

I honestly think one of my weakest skills when it comes to roleplaying is proper communication which I think would imrpove if I talked to more people but I don't know if people would appreach that.

 

[Fruit]

I wouldn't say it happens often but I don't see anything wrong with it to be honest. I've seen a lot of people explicitly state in their RT that they welcome OOC chatter. You might run into the odd few that don't welcome it but the worst they could do is tell you to stop.

 

[MaxMax]

I do reach out to people just for the sake of it, usually to give them a compliment, if I saw something particularly good in their Journal, Request Thread, or RP. Sometimes it's a conversation starter, sometimes not, I don't really come to those with any expectations so it's always a nice surprise.

 

[Jericho Z. Barrons]

It's the same risk as approaching people for rp. Some people aren't here for that and might find the contact strange or like they don't know how to respond because you want something different from everyone else. And it depends on your approach. I'm not a chatter box about nothing and I've gotten weirded out by folks on rare occasion who just randomly come into my inbox, "Hey, how was your day?" Excuse me, I don't know you. Besides that, if you knew me better, you'd know, I'm not someone who craves talking to people about nothing. I like genuine topics. A random PM about spiders or books from someone I've never talked to before would be slightly odd but I'd be totally game to chat without preamble or need for introductions. Just jump right into art or bees and wasps or movies. Ice breakers that you'd give to someone you just happen to be standing next to in line at the grocery store make me aggravated because we're not waiting in line, I'm actually busy doing something and you're interrupting me to talk about the weather or what I ate today. And who even are you? You know?

But some people are really sociable and are genuinely sitting there looking at the forum title page bored out of their minds. A random PM being casually chatty would be plenty welcome.

If you're someone who is really bothered by ghosting or getting rude declines, then be prepared. Because a big bulk of people who get a message like that will be waiting for you to get to the point or will be weirded out that you don't actually have one. You'd be better served making initial contact in the chatbox. That way you've set a baseline for casual communication. After chatting in the chatbox, people might be much more open to receiving a casual PM from someone that they've seen and talked to in there.

 

[MaxMax]

Because a big bulk of people who get a message like that will be waiting for you to get to the point or will be weirded out that you don't actually have one.

Haha, this is actually a very good point, I think I did a weird out a couple of people, who I now understand expected me to follow up with an RP idea.

 

[Jericho Z. Barrons]

Haha, this is actually a very good point, I think I did a weird out a couple of people, who I now understand expected me to follow up with an RP idea.

Heh, yeah. This particular rp site is designed specifically for rp approaches to occur through PM contact. You're not allowed to advertise or ask about rp in chat and you're not allowed to post in other people's request threads. So, that increases the expectation that anything received through the PM system is going to be an rp request.

 

[Cassandraks]

It really depends on the person I might think, I know for myself I am here to write if I make a friend fine but I am not looking for a lot of OOC chatter from everyone I write with. If you come to me about OOC chatter and no writing then it will be a no. But I believe I have also updated it in my thread, so that is usually the best places to check out like others have said.

The only other thing I can say, is be careful how you ask people also, as the only one I have ever had do that to me. It came off as creepy, and I am pretty sure he was looking to cyber.

 

[Staine]

As long as you're open to being told that somebody isn't really interested in talking, and can take it in stride without being rude so long as they do the same, I don't see a problem with it. The worst that will usually happen is you might get a "What is this?" or just silence, you might get a conversation. I very very rarely poke people ooc, but I know at least one person in this thread that I messaged just because they posted something about movies and I had an article they might find interesting. Possibly freaked them out, don't think it did, politely moved on after a short discussion.

Just be ready for rejection and I don't see the harm.

 

[Jericho Z. Barrons]

I very very rarely poke people ooc, but I know at least one person in this thread that I messaged just because they posted something about movies and I had an article they might find interesting. Possibly freaked them out, don't think it did, politely moved on after a short discussion.

*glances around*

Well, it was specifically about movies, so, no, it didn't bother me. If you'd started out talking about the weather, I mighta been leery though. See, but that's me. If it's something I'm interested in, I'll be interested in talking.

 

[Revelations]

I admit, I don't think I've reached out to anyone specifically for non-RP related interests on BMR. I have had a few people approach me for one reason or another to talk to me about various non RP topics however, and I don't turn down any attempt at discussion. I admit I use to be a bit wary when it first happened but between it happening a few times and becoming staff I don't mind it. I don't know if I have it in me to randomly message someone about an unrelated topic but that's due to my innate shyness and maybe a few other issues rather than not wanting to talk.

 

[Relicious]

Some people are very shy, and they don't approach you with their RP idea immediately, so when somebody might compliment me, or reach out with something without RP idea, do wonder if they just trying to approach me in round-about-way, or just showed appreciation and left.

I guess, there is no easy solution, to the problem, text only virtual conversations are lossy, and lack context.

 

[Trussed Maiden]

It's strange yeah, particularly here. I have nothing against it myself though, and my experience is from places where it's more murky - closer to 50/50, just want to say something or a segway into actual (attempted) RP.

 

[SoleAccord]

If you reach out to offer compliments or extend a discussion beyond a thread, I think that's cool, but not everyone else will think so. You need to take a shot and say what you want to say. Worst case scenario is that they don't respond, and that's not the end of the world. You might make someone's day though, so maybe that's worth the leap of faith.

Your call!

 

[Cydaea]

It's cool to me. Even if you're trying to get a partner, you can get a lot of insight with simple conversation.

 

[RedRose]

I love random (normal) pms

 

[Seranda]

Some of my partners, past and present do reach out to me just to say hello. I reach out to them as well. I don't normally send a message just to say hi, and I normally don't receive them. I wouldn't be opposed to them.

 

[Dark Horse]

I like it when I find a partner who is able to build the plot with me as well as just shoot the shit in general with OOC. It's like anything you just have to find the right person.

 

[Starchaser]

I actually haven't had a great deal of luck on here yet, but on another site I have a friend that I chat to regularly and have hardly ever role played with her. I personally would welcome anybody, male or female who wanted to just chat or be friends, but I know that is not what people come here for.

One thing I used to have a few years ago was a close friend that I could write well with on a daily basis and also talk to on a daily basis. We aren't friends any more (long story) but I miss her so much. I would give anything to have that kind of online relationship again.

 

[Ebony Blades]

As I'm new here I'm writing in reference to experiences on sites both similar and dissimilar:

Is it weird? Not that weird, we're all driven to connect in some way or the other.

Context matters though, want to start an 'OOC' discussion by talking about sexual stuff outside the boundaries of a specific or proposed RP? that is a bit weird, ten times more so on a site where it has no relation to the subject. Starting off a conversation with 'hey does your username reference niche nerd subject XYZ?' that to me is 100% acceptable. Either as a start to a pure OOC conversation or as a way to build up a connection and courage to propose an RP.

Do I send messages like that often myself? Not really. Despite my opinion on it I prefer to assume that people don't want general conversation unless they explicitly say so or I think they are heavily implying it. Or when they're just so fucking cool I have to give it a try...

 

[Paintedlove]

Sometimes, I enjoy just talking OOC to some people. I'm always interested in learning about what makes them tick. And PMs can be great for that because they basically give an archive as well. So yes, I'm always open to that sort of thing. As long as they don't start with excessive weirdness right from the start!

 

[Lady Irony]

You could just post an ad in the requests section stating you want to brainstorm ideas with people - without having to play them out?

It would allow you some interaction without having to worry about coming off as creepy etc.

 

[Trussed Maiden]

You could just post an ad in the requests section stating you want to brainstorm ideas with people - without having to play them out?

It would allow you some interaction without having to worry about coming off as creepy etc.

I've thought about this a lot honestly. Might be nice to get into something with the premise of just chilling and figuring out angles, which I'm sure can come off as more comfortable for some parties.

 

[Lady Irony]

I've thought about this a lot honestly. Might be nice to get into something with the premise of just chilling and figuring out angles, which I'm sure can come off as more comfortable for some parties.

I think it would be fun, sometimes i find I like the planning/discussion process but don't see a need to play it out because the planning has already accomplished that. To just talk about the characters how they might respond, plots etc

 

[Trussed Maiden]

I think it would be fun, sometimes i find I like the planning/discussion process but don't see a need to play it out because the planning has already accomplished that. To just talk about the characters how they might respond, plots etc

Yep. Too much plotting has hurt my ability to write badly.

It's weird, planning gives me a goodish idea that I can never use as easily, and just spitting it out even if the result isn't very pretty actually helps me see it better in the long run as well as actually execute it. I've had a few partners over time like that, maybe it's an underrated thing that should be explored somewhere.

 

[Lady Irony]

Yep. Too much plotting has hurt my ability to write badly.

It's weird, planning gives me a goodish idea that I can never use as easily, and just spitting it out even if the result isn't very pretty actually helps me see it better in the long run as well as actually execute it. I've had a few partners over time like that, maybe it's an underrated thing that should be explored somewhere.

Planning can be like playing it out anyway, it's just more of a highlights package than go through all the motions of a RP. I sometimes find the RP gets planned too much and there isn't any surprises left.

I like it when a RP grows a life of it's own so to speak and characters are just doing things that neither writer planned on and whatever RP map was worked out has gone out the window. Provided it's done intelligently of course.