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αqвмєℓє∂‚ \\.

Re: υивємєякт \\.

Uh huh. Tried that. He felt even more neglected.

I'm really over emotional people who can't keep their head on their shoulders. Maybe that makes me a little bit of a hypocrite, because I have my moments, but this is getting really ridiculous.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

awww... there there. really, all you can do is what seems right to you. be true to yourself, etc. b/c you are an awesome person, my friend! hopefully they'll see you're not trying to neglect, etc. and just accept you as you are. which is, as i already said, awesome. <3
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

H a r r i e t said:
I'm really over emotional people who can't keep their head on their shoulders.
Click to expand...

D: I hope that doesn't mean me? <3 ; - ;
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

-Whips out his man card.- That's why I prefer retrosexualism, all this metro business just doesn't fit, gimme a nice fedora and classy suit and I work life just fine like a proper man.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

thanks for the bday gifts o3o
zmmhwz.jpg
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

I love you to fucking death, Jayne. I seriously do. But I can't handle the constant negativity you carry about with you. I don't mind baggage, I have some of it as well, but throwing your baggage into my life isn't always going to help you. And, it's going to make me more frustrated, and it'll most likely make it seem like I'm upset with you. I'm always here to listen, of course, and I'll always try and give you any advice that I can. But when you keep pushing yourself down, it gets to a point where I'm not going to bother trying to help you back up because you'll just do it all over again.


                              • Jayne says:
                                Why Are You Upset.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                You were kinda snappy at me last night for no reason at all. Kind of set me off guard, and now I don't want to really talk to you in case you decide to fly off the handle at me without warning.

                                Jayne says:
                                Its called PMSing. D:
                                I was bitchy at everyone.
                                Even Demon. He took it worse.
                                LOL.
                                Poor Guy.
                                You can hate me if you want. But I will never hate you.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                I didn't say I hated you.
                                I don't even think I'd be capable.

                                Jayne says:
                                ....
                                Just..
                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                Well, I just didn't really appreciate being bitched at for no reason. So I left to keep it under control. I'm over it.

                                Jayne says:
                                Okay.
                                I was thinking of erasing Jezz and Satire today. =(

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                If you delete Jezzy, I've no reason to have Hina, so she'd be going as well. And we still haven't figured something out for Satire and Reaper yet.

                                Jayne says:
                                I CANT DECIDe.
                                esogjaig D:
                                FORGIVE ME MY WEAKNESS
                                BUT I DONT KNOW WHY
                                WITHOUT YOU ITS HARD TO SURVIVE
                                Im sorry.
                                Im so so sorry.
                                Please.
                                Im a fucking idiot.
                                D:
                                And Im being a douche.
                                Sorry...
                                Please.
                                Just.
                                I've just.. felt ignored for the past 3 months.
                                Thats all.
                                Like.
                                No one gives a shit about my characters anymore.
                                And no one wants to roleplay.
                                And in the cbox.
                                And all that.
                                Like my characters are nothing.
                                Are boring

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                ... I thought you didn't even like the IC?

                                Jayne says:
                                And I just.
                                Feel like shit.
                                I TRIED
                                BUT
                                I hated it.
                                Because people ignored me.
                                So.
                                I gave up.
                                Because there was no point.
                                In trying anymore.
                                So I simply thoguht.
                                Fuck it.
                                And gave up.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                Well, if you asked before you threw your characters in there, it'd most likely go a lot smoother. o3o

                                Jayne says:
                                I feel so unloved.
                                Fuck.
                                No one talks to me the same way.
                                I talk.
                                And then everyone shut sup.
                                Like.
                                Im invisible.
                                I just...
                                have had those times.
                                Where I want to leave ZK.
                                But that would be stupid.
                                And immature.
                                Just for the fact that people are ignoring me.
                                Please.
                                Understand how I feel..
                                Ignored.
                                Isolated.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                But you're not, Jaynie. At all.
                                Everyone loves you. And your characters.

                                Jayne says:
                                I dont fele that way..

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                Aura even told me the other day that she thought Kodi was amazing.

                                Jayne says:
                                now im criyng all over my keyboaird
                                people just
                                dont tell me esiht
                                ano
                                crying
                                ..
                                i just feel so ... left out
                                LEFT OUT.
                                You all talk about each others characters.
                                ExcEPT MINE
                                THAT
                                IS HOW
                                I FEEL
                                I guess.
                                Im being boastful.
                                Or demanding.
                                See how I feel now?
                                I should just

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                I've always understood the feeling, Jayne. And, honestly? It comes from over thinking things. You get thoughts into your head, and they just get worse from there. Be up front with people, ask them. Leaving things for your mind to try and figure out all on your own is never a good thing to do.

                                Jayne says:
                                shut up
                                Sorry.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                Degrading yourself isn't going to help you, either. So stop it.

                                Jayne says:
                                I cant ask people.
                                IM NEVER THERE.
                                Time differences.
                                Piss me off.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                You're here now.
                                Ask.

                                Jayne says:
                                I shouldve stayed off my computer.
                                For a good solid year.
                                And not talkk.
                                Or anything.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                What good would that do?

                                Jayne says:
                                Reality?

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                Weren't you complaining about not having friends earlier?

                                Jayne says:
                                I can make some?
                                Its a real world.
                                o_o

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                If you're willing to make friends, I don't understand why you were complaining about not having any.

                                Jayne says:
                                Your not helping.
                                >/

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                I'm just trying to figure this out.

                                Jayne says:
                                Nothing to figure out.
                                Im just gonna take a break for a bit. =)
                                All sorted.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                Your problems are still going to be here when you get back, but alright.

                                Jayne says:
                                What problems?
                                ;D
                                Keep. Moving. Forward.[/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u]


                                Her moods are getting worse. I get a headache every time she starts like this, because one minute she's solid and happy, the next she's an emotional wreck, and then she flips it around to being happy again. Every time I give her advice, she pushes it away, as well, but keeps ranting about how her life is so horrible, and no one likes her, and that her only actual friend is me. It's a lot to swallow, and right about now, I'm getting really sick and tired of having to put up with it. So sick and tired of it that my patience for her has really decreased, and I'm starting to get really short with her.

                                Sigh.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

Sorry to say, but I've seen that before in a friend of mine who happens to be on medication. It seems to me that she's either manic depressive (which is random bouts of happiness with sudden drops out into depression, if I remember right) Or she's bipolar. I'm guessing more bipolar.​
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

The best thing you can do for her, Harriet, is just leave her be. From what I'm gathering, she's trying to push her problems onto you, which isn't a good thing. Or you can give her a major reality check. I'd go with the former.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

I think the worst thing, is that she complains that no one pays attention to her while she has all of my attention. She complains that I'm her only friend, and then posts videos of her and a bunch of other people hanging out, and laughing, and enjoying their time with her. She starts getting emotional, and then tells me to forget it after she's e-balled her eyes out to me.

Jayne's my friend, so when I start thinking she's just looking for attention, I get really disappointed in myself for thinking like that. But, honestly, with how things are panning out, that's the only thing this behavior is pointing to. And it really fuckin' sucks.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

She probably is looking for attention. Probably because she' feels neglected in her home life? Or maybe because she realizes that you don't live to serve her and she wants every second of your attention? Harriet, a person who does that shouldn't be a friend. I have used to have one like that and she used to do the same thing that your friend, Jayne, used to do. Cry and bitch to me over the internet that "she wasn't getting enough attention, that she's so depressed." :/ I'm afraid there's nothing you can do for a person like that. She probably just is looking for attention and realizing that she's not getting it, she's reverting to the "nobody listens to me anymore, people don't like me and hardly talk to me" etc etc, to try and get your attention focused on her 24/7.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

I'll openly admit, that I'm a little shallow for not wanting to lose contact with her because she's a very good writer, and the plots / characters we come up with together are amazing. But, then I think "Is it really worth it?" After I lay everything out, it really isn't worth it. But at the same time, we were friends, y'know? So, no matter the situation, I still don't like the thought of breaking things off, even if she's acting like this.

I should've noticed when I had a small emotional break down, and I had been talking to her about it, and instantly turned it around so we were talking about her problems. I just wanted five minutes to let off some steam, and I didn't even get two.

Don't wanna sound like I'm picking on her every flaw, but she's also gotten / getting pushy as well. We write together, as it's been stated before, but sometimes I need to take breaks to regain my muse for a thread, or a character. Jayne doesn't understand that, or at least she acts like she doesn't, and she'll push for me to reply to her. I hate making people wait for things like replies to role plays, but if I can't push one out, I can't. Leave well enough alone.

I wont make any decisions about staying in contact with her or not until I've talked things through with her. I'm learning that if I want to get a point to her, I have to say it as bluntly as I possibly can. Maybe there is hope. Maybe there isn't. Either way, I wont lose sleep over it.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

Wait, you want to blow off steam and she turns it around and starts talking about her "problems"? That's...a little bit insane...
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

Mhmm. It's happened a few times, now, so I keep my issues / problems to people who will give me advice or possible solutions. Or, just for the sake of wanting to be an ear. It isn't a real loss that I can't talk to someone who lives around the world about feeling messed up, honestly. I just wished that if I didn't bring up the topic about how 'horrible' my life is, the subject wouldn't even surface to begin with.

I don't like ragging on her behind her back like this, because it makes me feel two-faced, but I created my journal for the main purpose to vent and rant. I just have to remember that I wont be hiding any of this from her at all, and next time we're online together, I'll be bringing it up.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

If she tries to flip it around to talk about her troubles, just turn it right back around. You don't need that kind of stress, especially from someone who thinks you aren't paying her enough attention.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

I actually made a list, so I wouldn't forget, on what I needed to bring up to her for whenever I saw her online next. There's really only so much I can do with a friendship online. I have a small feeling she might have been abusing the kindness I was extending towards her, because of how concerned and worried I've been over her, but I could just be over-thinking.
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

Some people do that, believe it or not. They take a person's kindness as their weakness and abuses it :/ I have it done to me all the time and end up having people try and walk all over me just because I'm a patient person. Like you said, there's only so much you can do with a friendship online. I wish I could help, and I'm afraid I might be making this situation worse just by talking to you about it >.< I suck at giving advice but the only thing I can tell you is that she might not really be a friend if she's using your kindness and abusing it :/
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

I'll keep an open mind about it and see her response. Like I said earlier, I wont make any decisions until I've talked with her and I get a better understanding of what I mean to her as a friend, or a so-called one.

I do appreciate the responses, though. From you and Hahvy. I feel better about it, now that it's gotten off my chest, and I can stretch out a little more. :D
 
Re: υивємєякт \\.

I tried not to rip into her. I think I did fairly well because of how frustrated I've been lately with her.

In case anyone's wondering, she calls me Farren because that's my SN on the site we met on.


                              • н α я я ι є т says:
                                Do we need to talk?

                                Jayne says:
                                No. Leave me alone.
                                Oh my god. Sorry. I'm just cranky. D:

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                Yeah, no. I get it. You're cranky, so you use it as an excuse to push me away. Because that makes me feel fucking wonderful.

                                Jayne says:
                                Erm. Okay. o_o

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                Look, I can't keep doing this, Jayne.

                                Jayne says:
                                Doing what?
                                Huh?
                                D:

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                I love you. To fucking bits and pieces.
                                But you keep pulling shit like this.
                                You bitch at me for no reason.
                                You tell me to leave you alone when I feel like you need to talk.
                                How do you think it felt for me to see that I was mentioned in a PM five times, and have no explination over it?
                                That fucking hurts.

                                Jayne says:
                                Okay.
                                Sorry.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                This is really wearing me down.

                                Jayne says:
                                Oh.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                I try to help you. Over and over again. And you push my advice away. Cloud it with more negativity.
                                And now this?
                                I feel like I just wasted my time becoming so close to you because you're throwing it all back in my face and leaving me on the curb.

                                Jayne says:
                                Sorry.
                                I am taking hormonal replacement pills for my I.D. They should level my emotional stress in a few days.
                                brb quick

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                I still want to know why I was mentioned in a PM to Eclipse. I don't want to feel like I can't trust you, but it's getting to be like that.

                                Jayne says:
                                In the personal message, I only mentioned you twice. I simply stated to Eclipse that I was becoming scared of you. That was all.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                You said five times in the cbox, but whatever.
                                Why are you becoming scared of me? What have I done?

                                Jayne says:
                                You are.. ranting at me like this.
                                I'm scared..
                                Of it.

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                You're scared because I've been taking all the crap you've been dishing at me and holding it in? I don't understand where you can get scared from me taking your emotional abuse.

                                Jayne says:
                                Im so confused with my head.
                                I think I should have not started the pill.
                                =(

                                н α я я ι є т says:
                                This was before the pill, too, Jayne.
                                You'd get upset. You'd come to me. I'd help. I'd give you advice, but you'd push it away. Or counter it with more negativity.

                                Jayne says:
                                I am not 100% Farren. Even my family do not know what is wrong with me.
                                I was diagnosed with I.D. So, they said go on the pill to get rid of it. -- Everyday I wake up, and I am in constant confusion of my surroundings. I am always tired, and I am always stressed. I break down for no reason.
                                Like right now. I am crying. Because .. of.. nothing?
                                I don't get my body.
                                I was scared to accept the advice. Because I thought it would not help.
                                Anyway.
                                I posted for you.[/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u]


                                She gave me a medical excuse. I'm at the point right now where I don't know what to believe. Either way, she changed the topic at the end, which put an end to the discussion, and I'm still left not knowing where her and I stand as friends.
 
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