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Colder than the Snow ((me and Houdini))

"I had some in the kitchen with the shoemaker", he told her, taking a slow sip of his own coffee cup that he had brought with him from the other room. "It seems fairly safe here. I think we could stay for at least another day, maybe by that time, they will be searching father out for us. But after we eat, I can go have a look around outside to see if I can find out if anyone's been looking for us."

"How did you sleep, anyway", he inquired.
 
Senka looked at him and she nodded and continued to eat slowly. She said "Alright, that would be a good idea, just be careful" she said to him. she took a sip of her own coffee before she continues to eat. She looked up and said "I slept fine" she said to him. "Why?" she asked him.
 
"I don't know", he answered. "I guess after what happened in the camp I feel a sense of responsibility for you, or maybe more like a debt to you. I know you're more than capable of taking care of yourself, but I just feel like I owe it to you to make sure everything is OK for you."

He sat down on the floor, looking up at her. "I feel like now that we're in this together, I need to know you better. Tell me more about the town you were from.", he said softly
 
Senka looked at him and said "I see...well...I'll tell you" she said softly. She ate a little more before she began speaking. "It was only a small town, population of about a few hundred people. Everybody knew everyone, and everything about everyone. On the outskirts there was a lake. It froze over every winter so the people would get their ice skates out and spend their spare time on the lake. After the lake there was a forest. We used to let the farm animals graze through it. If you continued down the maid road for another two days or so you would have hit the larger cities and towns. We were close to the border. We had been oblivious to the war. It hadn't clawed it's way into out lives just yet. I believe the term ignorance is bliss could be used to describe it" she said. She began to eat again slowly.

"The town square had the statue of the founder. She was a women and we called her Alecksandra. No one knew if that was her real name or not. The plaque on it did not read her name for some reason, but she was said to have been a beautiful maiden, with a sharp mind. Our town was ancient. It had been around for eons. It's not surprising that the truths that may have once been became the legends they are today. Later a fountain was built around it. The women in the statue was holding a bunch of flowers in one hand and a pick axe in the other that was used for farming. The town sprawled out form the square, most roads leading back to the square" she said eating some more.

"Today all that is left is a pile of ashes...."
 
As she gave her description, some things started to seem familiar to him. After all, he had been stationed in Russia early in the war, but so many towns were destroyed, he hadn't thought it could have the same town she was from. The statue with the flowers and the pick axe was something he had seen, and he was sure there couldn't be too many statues like that. He was anxious to hear more, taking a nervous sip of his coffee.

"It sounds like a beautiful town. I am very sorry that your townspeople lost it. If you can bear to talk about it, tell me about what happened when it was attacked", he asked her.
 
Senka looked up at him and she ate more slowly and said "It began as normal. We would wake up early in the morning to graze the animals in the forest. It was spring at that time. When he returned we would milk the cows and do the other jobs as normal. It was about midday when he first heard the Germans were coming. My fiancee had said that we should run. But the other people in the town said that they would just pass through. After all, what sense would their be in destroying a tiny town like ours. We were not part of the army. We were sorely mistaken. We never knew that they would attack civilians.

2 hours later we could hear the marching of the men and the rumbling of the vehicles and tanks. Contrary to our expectations, they did not just pass through. We could here a man shouting orders, in German. We could not understand. I did not speak German at the time. The men ran into all the houses forcing the residents out at gun point. If they refused, or did not do as they were told becouse they could not understand, they were shot in their own homes. They gathered all of us in the town square. The commanding officer began to speak to us in Russian...his name was Adalbrecht Newbury...thats what he told us it would be any way. He said if we co-operated, we would be left out of harms way. To bad for us co-operate meant giving up our lives with out a fight.

When they began to separate us, the men from the women, they pulled me and fiancee apart, they ripped mothers away from their sons and husbands wives from each other. No male was spared. Then they were made to line up infront of the guns. By that time it was too late. No one could save them. Tears were already spilling from out eyes. They pulled us away and they made us watch as the machine guns ripped into their bodies. The ground was soaked with the blood of the dead. They would not let us go to them. Any one who did was also shot.

They then dug a large pit and tossed them all into it, we thought they would at least show their bodies some respect. Once more we were mistaken. Now we women were all that were left. I told you what happened to those who resisted did I not...I do not wish to go into it in detail. All you need to know is that the German army is as brutal as it is incompetent. Most nights the soldiers were drunk indulging in their pleasures. It was surprisingly easy to escape" she said looking down as she spoke, the horrible memories flooding her mind.
 
Despite the hardening experiences that he had been through during the course of the war, he found it hard not to show emotion as Senka described the horrors she had witnesses firsthand in the early stages of the war. Yet, it was not the sheer sadness of the story that welled up emotion inside him, but the fact that he had been there himself! Once she mentioned the name of Commander Newbury, it confirmed his growing, gnawing suspicion that he bore part of the blame for her plight.

He had not killed anyone during the fateful raid. He was there as an officer, to relay instructions from the commanders. Yet it was so easy to absolve himself when he knew nothing of the cities inhabitants. Now that he had let Senka get close to him to some degree, it was not so easy to avoid feelings of guilt. He thought of all the people she must have known and loved. He resisted the instinctual urge to defend himself when she called the Germans 'brutal' and 'incompetent'.

He wondered if he should tell her as he listed to the conclusion of her sad tale. He realized that the least he could do is come clean with her. He sat up on the bed next to her, and rubbed his hand in small circles on her back, in an effort to comfort her a bit. She seemed a little more approachable now with her hair know, and no military uniform of any sort, kind of like a regular person. "Senka...." he began. "I am so sorry to have made you bring that horrible story to mind again. But having heard it, I think there is something I need to tell you."
 
Senka looked down at the ground as she ended her tale, her mind full of sadness. She closed her eyes. She would not cry though. She had spilled enough tears over it back then. She felt his hand on her back and she turned to him a little and said "What is that you need to tell me?" she asked him. She was curious but at the same time afraid.
 
He took his hand off her back before stopping, and gulping. "I don't know how to tell you this", he forced out, readying himself for whatever reaction she might have. It wouldn't shock him if she tried to kill him. "I just don't feel like it would be right to keep anything from you. I just realized that I was there under commander Newbury." As he watched the look of horror blanket her face, he quickly added "I didn't kill anyone. To be honest, I was horrified myself to some extent."
 
Senka looked at him and stared, her eyes filled with horror. She her breathing was quick and heavy. She could not believe it. She moved away from him her eyes seeming to start welling with tears. She looked at him and said "Don't try to justify your actions by giving me excuses" she said, anger invading her voice.
 
He wasn't surprised as she pulled away from him. "I'm not trying to justify my actions. I feel horrible about this. But, don't forget, I left my old life behind. I'm not your enemy anymore. If they found me, they would kill me, just as they would kill you. I can't blame you if you want to hate me. But I'm doing what I can to make things right. Even after I remembered, I could have hid it from you. But I want to trust you, and be worthy of your trust. So I had to tell you."

He hunched over, taking a deep breath. "Sometimes I think of who dropped the bomb that killed my own bride. But I don't blame them. As horrible as the consequences were, they were following orders. I blame the leaders who started this mess." He stood up and walked to the door. "I'm going to check the town to see what I can find out about those who are searching for us. If you're not here when I get back, I'll understand," he said sadly.
 
She said nothing as he left. She looked down. "Murderer's don't get to be sorry" she said as he left. She hung her head down and a tear roll down her cheek. She had trusted him. She thought he had been different. But he was the same. He watched them all die. He could have saved them. They all could have, but they chose their own fear and cowardice. She looked at her hands. She was just like them two. She didn't have to kill those men, but she knew that if she didn't they would just kill other people.
 
He pulled his emotions back together as he walked out of the house and onto the dirt streets of the town. He had begun to think that Senka was the best thing that had happened to him in some time. After all, she helped him move on from being centered on his loss. But he was sure she would be gone by the time he returned. Nevertheless, even if he was alone, he would need to find out if their pursuers were nearby. He knew the best place to find gossip would be the local barber shop, where all the old men sat around and talked all day. So he headed in there, asked for a haircut, and began some small talk with the locals, trying to keep the thoughts of Senka crying in their room off his mind. Maybe he shouldn't have told her. After all, ignorance is bliss....
 
Senka closed her eyes. She held on to the ring in her hand. She sobbed softly. After awhile she stopped and regained her composure. She would not let it get to her. she wasn't weak like that anymore. She was strong. She wiped away her tears. She thought about leaving. She had survived on her own. But she didn't want to and the feeling was frustrating. Why did she not want to leave. Why was she so intent on staying with him. She frowned angrily and she sighed to her self. He would be surprised to fin her still there
 
Josef discovered at the barber shop that two soldiers with a dog had been through town, asking about a man and a woman possibly dressed as German soldiers. It appeared that they had passed on to the next town after not turning up anything. As he headed back to their hired room, he passed some street vendors. He didn't know why, since he knew that Senka likely wouldn't be there when he got back, but he felt he needed to come to her with a gesture of kindness. So he stopped at the street vendor and bought a bright red apple, and a single white rose.

She didn't seem like the type to desire a bouquet of flowers, but he thought that any woman would like such a beautiful thing in a time of despair. The apple too, was tastier than any of the rations they had packed. As he trudged up the steps and opened the door, he was mildly shocked to find the redhead there, still on the bed, remnants of dried tears in her eyes. "Hi," he mouthed quietly. "I'm glad you're still here."
 
Senka heard him come back in. She looked up at him before she looked down for a moment and said "Hello" quietly. She looked down when he said that she was glad he she was still here. She put the ring back in her shirt and looked up at him for a moment. She found it difficult to look into his eyes,
 
"Listen, Senka", he pleaded. "These are for you", he said, handing her the rose and the apple. "I know it's not much, but I felt awful, and I didn't know what else to do. If you want me to leave again until you finish collecting your thoughts, I will."

He sighed and sat down on the floor before continuing. "I thought about it, and even though there wasn't much I could have done, I wish I could go back to that fateful day, and do what I could to stop the suffering of your people, even if I would have perished in the process. At least my death would have meant something."
 
Senka looked at him as he gave her the rose and the apple. She looked at the rose and looked at him and back at the apple. She then said "No...I'm fine now" she said looking down. She closed her eyes as he spoke.

She looked at him and said "It was your life or there....natural instinct is to protect your self. You did the human thing...I should not blame you for that" she said looking down.
 
"You can blame me, and I would expect you to," he responded. "But allow me, please, to repay what I can to you, to deliver you to safety, and then perhaps I will feel that I have satisfied a small part of my debt. And then you can go your way, and won't have to see me again."

"I'm just so sorry", he pleaded with her. "For what it's worth, I found that the soldiers looking for us have already passed through the town. We can leave here tonight or tomorrow and continue on our way."
 
Senka looked a him as he said he wanted to repay his debt to her. She looked down when he said he was sorry. She said "Well then I suppose we can leave tomorrow then..." she said softly. She looked at the rose before closing her eyes and saying "Thank you for the flower and the apple"
 
Her tone seemed to be far more mild now, and he felt comfortable staying. Part of him, knowing her past, wanted to believe she may still off him in his sleep, but he felt that he knew the 'inside' Senka now, and knew she wouldn't do it. "Your welcome", he replied. "That sounds reasonable. We'll hide out the rest of the day to be safe, and leave in the morning." He signed, exhausted from the stress of making his confession to her. "So... what do you think you'll do once we get to Switzerland? Return to your call of duty immediately?"
 
Senka looked up at him when he asked her weather she would returned to her position in the army straight away. She looked down and said "I do not know" she said softly thinking about it for a moment. It was her duty right....she was obliged to do so right.
 
He looked out the window, wondering how much time he would have left with her. Enough to get to know her, he hoped. He felt a connection to her soul somehow, distant as she could be sometimes. As he gazed out, he observed a snow begin to fall. It didn't take long before everything outside had a fresh coating. "Do you like the fresh snow, Senka?", he asked. It's peaceful, but I suppose it will make things tough for us traveling tomorrow."
 
Senka looked at him and said "Yes..I do like the snow" she said softly. She closed her eyes for a moment "We used to always run around and ply in it, even if by the end of it we got sick...".She looked down and opened her eyes. "Father always said to not eat the snow...we would get sore throats.." she said quietly.
 
He could not help but show a big ear-to-ear grin when she described how she used to like to play in the snow. He too, loved to play with his brothers and sisters in a fresh snowfall. "It brings me back to childhood, too", he said, eyes off in the distance. An idea suddenly came to his mind. "Hey, do you want to take a walk with me in around town in the snow? I know it's an idea more suited to a couple of children than two runaway soldiers, but maybe it will help us forget the things weighing on us for a moment. We could sneak out without the shoemaker noticing."
 
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