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Tanak's scribbles and thoughts

Twenty-eighth of May 2020, 28-05-2020.

I know I've said it a couple of times here, but every time the man in 1600, Penn.Ave, manages to baffle me with his actions. You really think you've seen it all, heard the most stupid things, but then something else comes up.

On Tuesday he posted a tweet about mail-in-ballots, that they were something of the 'far left' and only prone to rig elections. As per the new Twitter policy, it got tagged with a fact-check symbol. That the claim of rigged elections is unsubstantiated and people should read more about mail-in-ballots.
Seems all legit to me, someone posts something that is or is not true, and readers are adviced to read more about the subject.

But Trump flew off the wall, and went into a tantrum like a five year old kid. Actually, that's an insult to five year old kids, my apologies to them. On Wednesday Trump threatened to shut down all social media. Rather ironic, a man who is so worried that he (and the conservatives) are being censored, wants to censor all social media. But his spat wasn't over by saying that. He is really going to follow it up, as it is now been announced that he is going to sign an executive order. As I understand it is an order for upcoming laws the President wants to put in place.

Can Trump really shut down all social media? Twitter, Facebook, and all others that are not that well-known to me? I doubt it. The FBI couldn't even get unlocking tools from Apple for locked phones, saying it violated user's privacy. And in the country that boasts about free speech, censoring all social media, would cause uproar I think. It really would set the US on a path to become a new China. What if someone were to suggest that to Trump? 'Oh, Mr. President, by doing this we will become like China'. Would that person survive? I really can see it happening that Trump shoots that person on the spot.

On the day that the US death toll for COVID-19 passed the 100K mark (Trump promised that it would stay 'well below' 100K, in March he said that by April COVID-19 would magically disappear), it seems to me that Trump is trying to steer people's thoughts away from the virus, instead trying to rally his fans against social media. But for a man who uses Twitter as his only means of communication with the outside world, shutting it down, wouldn't that mean he's basically going to talk to himself? Or is that a silly thought?
 
Twenty-ninth of May 2020, 29-05-2020.

Yesterday I took most of the day off of the internet, I wanted to relax and read and watch some TV. But for someone who's online nearly constantly while awake, some people wonder if something's up, if I'm not feeling right. Nothing of the kind, it was more a case of, I'm always online and slacking on reading. So that was the only reason. I felt and feel fine, the weather is lovely as well, so I had a nice walk outside.
It's my son's birthday in a month and I'm buying some gifts so I can send them in a package to England, where he lives (with my ex-wife). So I took the opportunity on my walk yesterday to see if I could get him a birthday-card with a button. Those things, with the age on it, were a big hit right until last year, but this year nowhere to be found. (My son will be 8, so a button still is a suitable silly gift with his presents).
But instead I found something much nicer.

As some of you might know, the fat man you call Santa Claus, derives directly from the Bishop of Myra, who we call Saint Nicholas. Over here (and in a few countries more in Europe), we celebrate his name-day on the 6th of December. It's a day when children get gifts. Just like what you lot do on Christmas, although that means that I fear not many people know what we *really* celebrate at Christmas.
Anyway, it is a Dutch tradition to also buy a chocolate letter at Saint Nicholas, the first letter of your first name in whatever chocolate you like. One of the high street chains (jamin.nl, unfortunately in Dutch, there's no English page) is what you can call an old-fashioned candy store. And in November they sell chocolate letters galore. But to my huge surrprise, during the year, they also sell chocolate numbers. So I bought him a chocolate 8. It is so distinctively Dutch that I am certain it will be appreciated.

To finish today's entry, I want to come back on the executive order that Trump signed, It should make it possible that social media firms can be held responsible for the content their users post. And while it might not quite backfire in Trump's face, it will do the exact opposite to what he's trying to gain. If everything users post needs to be fact-checked, he himself cannot just post anything he wants. Then the U-turns on posts will be gone. It makes me wonder if he realizes it. If I can figure that out, as a normal guy who reads the news, it's hard to imagine the president of the USA cannot conclude the same thing.
But, it will be challenged legally, and off the table before we know it.
 
Thirtieth of May 2020, 30-05-2020.

This coming Monday, June 1st, at midday, bars and pubs, restaurants, cinemas, museums etcetera, can all open their doors again. I think I have already mentioned that. And I am going to go to the city center at around half 11, because I think it will be heaving with people, all wanting to be outside. I have taken pictures throughout Eindhoven when it was all quiet and empty and that's the reason I am going Monday, when it won't be quiet and empty anymore.

Especially bars and pubs, also those where you can eat, are working with a reservation system, and they can have a maximum of 30 guests inside, no matter how big or small the place is. But, strangely enough, for the outside area, call it beer-gardens, although we have a different name for it, the Dutch word for it is 'terras', which translate as 'terrace' (although in English it's also a row of houses), there is no limit on guests and also no reservation needed. And I think that's where the problems will start. Too many people for too few places, and social distancing, as the 6 feet is still a must, will cause problems. But we'll see on Monday and in the days and weeks to come. Next week it's going to be particularly warm, with temperatures close to, or even on 30C in Eindhoven (the warmest city in the country), I'm really curious.

Around the corner from where I live, there's a small bar, sort of like a community bar, located at a big square, which could have been a big road, if history had taken a different course. But that's another story, one I am very famliar with, and perhaps one for a future entry.
That bar does things a little differently, after the reopening. As guests, with a group of 6 at the most, you can rent a table for two hours. A maximum of two hours, you get your designed time-slot. It will cost you 10 euro per person per hour, so for a group of 6 a maximum of 120 euro. But, the good thing is, all drinks and snacks in that period of two hours are totally free.

I can hear the Brits among you think, where is this place, I want to go there. Going to be a problem as the UK is closing its borders as of June 8th. They call it a measure to stop a second spike, but we all know it's because of Brexit. Nobody in, but also, nobody out. Mark my words.
 
Thirty-first of May 2020, 31-05-2020.

Let's talk completely random today.

The Netherlands were the third country worldwide to have numberplates on their cars, but the first worldwide with a national registration of those plates. It is possible to roughly guesstimate around what year a numberplate first was registered, but you cannot see where in the country the owner of the car is from, nor can you derive how old a car is. In The Netherlands a numberplate is always linked to a car (VIN-number) and not to an owner as it can be the case in other countries.

Since the beginning there have been quite a few unique letter/number combinations, because several letters (no vowels and a few consonants) are being used over here. It started with the combination LL-NN-NN (where L = Letter and N = Number), currently we are at L-NNN-LL, but the next series will be LLL-NN-L. And because we use only a smaller portion of the available 26 letters in the alphabet, The Dutch need a lot more combinations.
Take Belgium, their latest series is N-LLL-NNN and it has a potential of 17.5 million unique numberplates. With a country of just over 10 million inhabitants, they can go on for much longer than the Dutch can.
 
First of June 2020, 01-06-2020.

Who would recognize the following names, just by the name and not by googling them:
Robert Kincaid
Walt Kowalsky
Frank Horrigan
Philo Beddoe
David Garver
George Moseley

Blondie

Anyone? I'm sure there are some who think, I've got an idea, and if I were to put another name to the list, that amount would rise. Alright, the other name:
Harry Callahan

Yeah? Rings a bell?

Of course it does. Those names, among a whole score of others are all roles by Clint Eastwood. One of the most iconic actors and directors in the history of film, who turned 90 yesterday. And that for an actor who started with a small role in Rawhide, that didn't really bring him the start of a career he was looking for. And so he turned his eye to Europe, where in the 1960s an Italian director and an Italian musician were revamping the western. It basically finishes a circle, for it were the Europeans who were the original settlers in the US.

A couple of months ago I posted my film top 10 of all time in a journal entry and at one is another collaboration of those two Italians, Once upon a time in the West. I call that an Italian film and not an American one. I might be set in the US, but not a single shot of the film was done there. Following on from Once upon, Sergio Leone, having found Clint Eastwood (or the other way around?), made the Dollars trilogy, that made Eastwood unmissable. Dirty Harry followed, but he also found a forte in directing films.

And where his roles as an actor in those days were more or less violent ones, as a director he's made some extraordinary films.

And he's still 'busy' in the industry, not retiring. Even as late as November last year, a film directed by Eastwood was released and subsequently gained a nomination for the Academy Awards of 2020 (Best supporting actress). And that for a small film, with a budget of only 45 million. In current times, that's almost nothing.

A little late, but happy birthday Mr. Eastwood, onto the 100, in ten years time!
 
Second of June 2020, 02-06-2020.

I have made many mistakes in my life. Some were delibarate, others weren't, but everything I have done in my life I have done myself. Any decision I have ever taken has always been mine. Whether consciously or not, I can only blame myself. Some of the mistakes I have to carry with me for the rest of my life, but that's fine, as I cannot and willnot put the blame on anyone else for whatever I've done.

Everything I have done in my life, from the moment I knew how to make decisions - and they can be as small as turning left or right at a junction on my way to school - has led to me writing this piece today. Why did I join BMR at the time I did? I know why I left the RP-site I was on before, it was rapidly turning into a PG13 fandom writing-site and that's as far from me as possible. But why here and why at that moment? No idea, I could have gone elsewhere, but it would mean I''d never met some of you.

For some reason, I have always managed to see light at the end of the tunnel. Even in my darkets and most difficult moments, I have known where that path was going to take me. And from day one of those ordeals, I have focussed on that. Go to the 'light', focus on trying to learn from your mistakes, try to do better tomorrow than I did today. I have been in situations where others didn't survive. They got stuck in there.

And because of that ability, I think, I don't know what it is to be depressed. It's a word that isn't in my personal dictiionary. I also don't know what stress must feel like. And because of that, the not knowing part, I can't tell others that I know how they feel, because I don't. I can offer a listening ear or a shoulder, but that's about it. It's hard for me sometimes, because I wish I could do more for those people, other than express some hope. And even that can be taken the wrong way, because, well you can fill in the blanks here. All I can try to do is be there if those people have need of me, if they want to vent, or even shout at me. I can handle that, I take it as if I'm a spunge, but that's it. I can't offer advice, do this or do that. Or have you tried such?

I'm focussing on myself and those people that add value to my life. I'm not trying to please everyone anymore. Those days are gone. I''m not trying to gather a large group of people around me. Just a few people that I trust and who I could call or message in the middle of the night, if I would need it. Just like they know that I'm available when they have need of me.
Every year at new years day, I hear a lot of people making the most fantastical resolutions, of everything they want to achieve in the upcoming year. But you've got to deal with the hand you've been given and so I stick to just the one resolution. To keep breathing. It all starts with that. And whatever happens in a year? No idea, I'll cross bridges when I come to them.

Does the world go into lockdown because of a pandemic? So what? Just do your own thing. And it's easier for me than it is for others, I know that. As long as you keep breathing, you can take decisions, to try to be a better person tomorrow, for yourself and for those around you that you love and care for.
 
Third of June 2020, 03-06-2020

It's quite remarkable to see something changing in the rest of the world after yet another murder of a black manby the police in the US. It's not like we haven't been here before. There are plenty of examples, so no need for me to repeat them all.
But the public opinion in the rest of the world is shifting, Any news coming from the US will be shown or broadcasted in most, if not all, countries in the western world. The other way around I doubt that very much. But unlike other murders, people in western Europe are taking action, by protesting against it. Again, I really doubt if anyone from the US wlll hear about it. Or if they will hear about sports people making a stance.

Those of you, in the US, with social media accounts, Instragram, Twitter and the likes will have seen the blacked out posts for Black Out Tuesday.

But, while it is good, no even recommendable, to protest against police brutality, which still seems to be the norm, countering violence with violence can never be justified. It is fully understandable, but that doesn't make it right. It's not a maths-equation, where two negatives make a positive. All this looting is pretty pathetic in my view. It doesn't add to a peceful solution and only widens the gap between people. Not that anyone will give a toss about my opinion though.

Would there be a connection between the current lockdowns and the mass protests? Could well be. That there are people who seize this opportunity to go out. But it also means that there's been a huge spike in infections with COVID-19 over the past 24 hours. Kind of ironic though, protesting against one thing and putting yourself at risk.

But still, like I said the other day, will this change anything? I still very much doubt it. I hope there will be change, but I fear the opposite.
 
Fourth of June 2020, 04-06-2020.

As a man from a different era, I grew up in the 1970s and 80s and started roleplaying in 1992, my world looked and looks a lot different than that of many of you. Furthermore, I come from a country where things have always been much more open. Porn for instance has never been an alien thing. Magazines (yes, children, I grew up without the internet) were openly to be found in newspaper shops, supermarkets and bookstores. And of course, we have plenty of sex-shops. We've always had them, just on the high street.

Sexual education started early, often at home. Seeing your parents naked was pretty normal and more often than not sexual education would be given at primary school (up to 11, 12 years in age). And in those days it was pretty normal for a girl to get the pill as soon as she started her period. Not to encourage them to have sex, but to teach them responsibility. Every female would be swimming or sunbathing topless, and female students would apply for a University student special in the Dutch Playboy.
There's a funny story about that, someone I know very well, a male, was part of a fraternity, in his second year at University, when one of those specials was being published. And his fraternity was asked to stand around a girl who lifted up her already short dress, exposing her pussy and ass. I remember there were about 16 young men (ages between 18 and 22, 23) around said girl and of those men all but one looked at the camera. Only the person I know was looking at the girl. Something I would do as well, obviously.

Anyway, when I started roleplaying, the internet wasn't as it is now, and the topics for roleplaying were much more limited. Fantasy, sci-fi, historical and slice-of-life. That was basically it. And that suited me very well, I got a chance to learn the ropes and at the same time improve my English - as most of you will know by now, English is my third language.
I was told, and taught, that descriptive writing, was the best way for roleplaying. Describe your character(s), describe scenes and settings, where I learned to roleplay, pictures were unheard of. It was simply not done.
Just like anyone else who has been doing this kind of fun for longer, I've had my times out and away from roleplaying. and every time upon returning, things were changing. But the biggest changes, for me personally, were to realize upon my last return to roleplaying, nearly two years ago now, that fandoms are a huge thing.

Most fandoms I don't know, never heard of them. I don't have subscriptions to streaming services, and the whole superhero films (everything included) go beyond my grasp. The fandoms based on books are more often than not what I would class as young adult and playing in pokemon worlds? Really. But then again, to me that's as strange as the girl I once met who wanted to roleplay as a My little pony. Sexually.

And of course, I know full well that the offering in the female request thread section goes in waves, some times there willl be more requests to my liking and other times, barely any. But I do notice that the times between what I prefer and like and have plenty to react on become lenghtier. As I started this piece, I am from a different era, and more and more I realize that my time in roleplaying could just as easy come to an end, because I have lost touch with the reality females want to write about.

It's not all doom and gloom for me, for I am certain there will always be one or two females that are like me, that stick too to what I want to write about. At the moment I have two of those, with plays I am thoroughly enjoying.

One last remark. As always, please keep refraining from commenting here. If you wish to approach me, send me a PM or add me to Discord at Tanakalian#9311. My door is always open for a good chat about this that or the other.
 
Fifth of June 2020, 05-06-2020.

In the mid 1970s, I lived (with my parents of course), almost in the same street as I do now (on my own, of course). They're adjacent to each other. The area is one of the oldest remaining close to city center Eindhoven, even though it's not quite 100 years old. But that's not very surprising, as Eindhoven was bombarded three times during World War II. Twice by the allies and once by the Germans, and technically that last one was *after* the war, one day after, to be exact. The allies bombarded the city center to try to demolish the Philips fatories. In those days Philips was already a multinational, a global player, and like any other factory in occupied territory the Germans used it to their advantage.

To the left of where I live, the city center is straight ahead from my point of view, is an area called Philips village, built in the early 1900s for employees of Philips, and it is also where the stadium is. The occupant PSV (Philips Sport Vereniging, founded as a factory team in 1913 and until 1929 you had to be an employee to be able to play for them). Philips was omnipresent in Eindhoven, not just this close to the city center and even *in* the center, but further out as well.

In the early 1970s Philips and the city council had crafted a plan to make a better connection between the factories North and South of the city. It would be a big road, two lanes each side, and of those there are very few here, even less now. When my parents moved in their house, the first preparations had started for the road, it was going to cut right through the heart of the area I live(d). The old street was dug up and it was mainly a lot of sand and some bricks in the middle of the area.

Soon after our move, my parents became part of an area committee and after hiring a lawyer, they started court cases against the city council to get the planned road off the table. And in those days that was pretty much not done. The city council, like the doctor for instance, were almighty people/institutions, where people who had studied for the matter knew what they were doing. But the city council wasn't ready for the court cases, unprepared and all. I remember, from the stories, an anecdote, where the councilor was asked by the judge to point on a map where the road was going to go. And he failed miserably. When the judge subsequently asked my dad, who by then was the chairman of the committee, if he knew where the city council wanted the road, he could point it out almost with every corner and bend in the road.

In those days, Dutch law still allowed cases like this to go to the High Court (that has been changed since) and every time the committee won. The road never made it, the plans were abandoned by the city council and a marvellous square was opened in 1992.
My parents weren't part of the committee anymore, in those days. In 1978, in the midst of the crisis, my dad had a heart-attack at the age of 34. Ironically enough it was a match of PSV in Europe that gave the final trigger. And my mum insisted that we'd move away. But we were invited for the opening of the square. And in 2016, I moved back into the area. I don't think I'll be living here the rest of my life, I am renting an appartment and I still hope to get a house for myself some day. Rent or purchase, that doesn't matter so much. But here? Too expensive, most houses go in the region of half a million euro.

The area, called Vonderkwartier, has a website, but it's in Dutch. But, on the first page it has a nice aireal view of the area, with at the far left the stadium of PSV and straight ahead the high-rises of the city center. The square isn't on the picture though. The picture can be found here:

www.vonderkwartier.nl
 
Sixth of June 2020, 06-06-2020

Today, 76 years ago was D-day. But that's not what I'm going to write about.

Last Monday at exactly midday, bars and restaurants, concert-halls, museums etcetera were allowed to reopen. I've already mentioned that. And because it was a bank holiday (second day of Pentecost), it was busy at the bars and restaurants, but manageable. And even more, people were trying to keep to the distancing. For bars and restaurants there's a maximum of 30 guests inside, who all have to make a reservation. But for the terraces, that limit doesn't apply, nor does the reservation-duty. During the week it wasn't as busy, certainly not Thursday and Friday, because the weather gone from gorgeous to atrocious.

I just been for a short walk, and it seems that I am the only person still trying to keep my distance to others. The city-center is heaving again, and because Belgium and Germany have lifted the ban on travelling OUT, they're all back here too. Funnily enough there still is a ban on Dutch people travelling there. I had a coffee at my local, which was still officially closed (they won't open until 4 this afternoon, but for me the guy working there opens the door. He told me that last night it's been carnage, no distancing, large groups of people. And today in the city center idem dito. And I am not a horrible person, so I'm not going to wish on anyone catching the virus.

Also this week were large demonstrations in all major cities in the country, some too large (for the distancing measures), against racism in general and the murder of George Floyd in particular. For Americans that will probably come as a surprise, that other countries protest against what is happening in the US. And while I thought, and wrote earlier, that I didn't think there would be any change, it seems that there is a slight shift. Ex military leaders are speaking up against Trump, Church leaders the same. The action at that Church close to the White House hasn't done Trump any favours I think. And while Trump might just lose the elections because of everything that is happening this year, the divide between people in the US only seems to get bigger and bigger.

Change is definitely coming, but I still wonder if it's the right change. Only time will tell.
 
Seventh of June 2020, 07-06-2020.

I'm having a lazy day today. Even though I had my morning coffee at the fairly normal time (for me) of 6.30am, I haven't done much since. Checked and played a few games on my phone, but that's about it. I'm about to have my lunch, a typical and very traditional Dutch lunch, just a couple of sandwiches and in a bit I'll probably turn the TV on. And I might write a reply or two in a play, depending on the speed of my partner in said play.

Tonight at 8, there's another classical spaghetti western on TV, The Good, the Bad & the Ugly, so that's my evening sorted as well. Tomorrow's another day.
 
Eighth of June 2020, 08-06-2020

Up until 1953, the national railroad from the north to the south, cut right through the heart of Eindhoven. And especially the crossing in the city center, also called 'The crossing of sorrows', was infamous to wide outside the city itself. Philps and its factories were located on the center side and most employees lived in an area called Woensel. A distance of a mere mile could easily cost an employee an hour, just because of the waiting time for the railroad-crossing. And everybody knew it had to be different, so in 1953, after a 6 year built, the High Railroad was opened. And while it saved many people long waits, it gave the city 7 extremely boring tunnels.

In those days, the 1950s right up to the 2000s, livening up the city wasn't a priority. Of course, as of the 1980s there was a lot of graffiti, and there's even a lowered cycling roundabout dedicated to graffit, but to make grey concrete tunnels into forms of art is a novelty here.

Over the course of the past decade it's really changed, but not just those seven tunnels, wherever you look, you can see murals and other forms of art. That is, if you know *where* to look. I know plenty of people who never see any of the hundreds of murals in Eindhoven. And sometimes they do see them, daily even, but don't really register them. And for some reason, I do. I spot them in the strangest of places, hidden in small alleys, on electricity-buildings, on walls not quite visible from the main roads.

I can't show any of the many pictures I have taken. They're on my phone and I wouldn't have a clue how to post them here. So you all will have to believe me that there are real gems among them. But, ironically enough the most beautiful one I have seen over the course of the last few years isn't in Eindhoven, but in a smaller city called Helmond, only a 9 minute train-ride away from here. If only I could show them. Oh well, you lot will have to come visit Eindhoven and its surroundings, once this whole crisis is over.
 
Nineth of June 2020, 09-06-2020

Interesting article on several European news-sites today. There's been a research into how many extra deaths there would have been had in 11 European countries (the scope of the research) nothing been done against the spread of COVID-19. The outcome is that in that case, in those 11 countries, over 3 million (!!!) extra deaths would have occurred. Nearly 700,000 in the UK, 600,000 in France and Italy.

I'm not a specialist, and most definitely not a medical one, so I cannot say if I have to believe the research. I have no reason to doubt it, that's for sure, but that doesn't make it true or not. Because, as it is stated, a lot of assumptions have been made.
The reason I'm mentioning the research is that I have heard several people say (not here, let that be clear) that we shouldn't have done anything, that it was just a flu and that it wouldn't have been that bad. Well, I hope they too will read this research. And then think again.
 
Tenth of June 2020, 10-06-2020.

For the first time in four months, I was able to visit my psychologist again yesterday. Techinically it's not been *that* long, the only appointment I had with him was exactly a month ago, but after everything got closed, those professions didn't do personal visits anymore, only by phone.
I've been seeing him for about four years now, upon my return from England I was really struggling with a few things and I needed some guidance. Nothing to do with depression or the likes, but in my life I have made plenty of decisions that didn't turn out so well. I wanted to figure out if those decisions could be linked by any means (they can't, I know that now). In the first two years my visits to him were more frequently, nowadays it's once every three months. Just to do a bit of catch-up, how things are going for me and stuff.

After talking about the whole corona-crisis and how it had affected me (not really, as I have mentioned here before), he asked me about my roleplaying and from there we had a bit of a chat about porn. Because you see, porn for me, enticing porn, comes from books. The written word does a lot more for me than pictures or video's. I get really turned on by reading erotic or pornographic books and a well written roleplay reply can do the same for me.

Of course, I stem from the pre-internet era, I grew up with books, and by the time online porn took a flight, I had made my own experiences and porn stuff (not literally, it's a matter of speech for me). And to this day, I get much more turned on by books. There's been a few online video's that I like, but they can be counted on the fingers of one hand.

As for the several threads of NSFW images, for me personally there is a lot of the same. No matter how nice and hot it is to dominate a girl, most of the images posted here are about intercourse and that gets a tad boring after a while. Always the same or similar fucking? Surely there's more to be found? As I always say, any guy can fuck a girl hard, but that doesn't make them a Dominant or Master, that entices so much more. And again for me personally, the act of intercourse is only a very small part of domination. Sure, it's fun, but there are many other things that are much more fun.

I'll still keep reading and looking at all the threads here, to see what excites other people, but there are only a few who really hit the right notes for me, with their postings.
 
Eleventh of June 2020, 11-06-2020.

One of the more funny TV programs is a Belgian program called Villa Politica. It is live broadcasting of the Belgian Federal parliament. And in corona times it means that per political party only one member is present, instead of the whole faction. And there are representatives from the federal government. Mind you, this is a temporary government, after the last regular one fell in december 2018. There have been elections, but up to now no new government has been formed.

At the moment there is a French speaking prime minister, who is obliged to do her speeches half in Dutch and half in French. But as it is, their Dutch isn't the best, to put it mildly. It's a big problem and has always been, that people from the French part of Belgium refuse to speak Dutch. The other way around there's less objection to it. And that refusal to speak Dutch goes very far. If you happen to want to start a company and the head quarters of said company happens to be below the language line (yes, dear reader, there is an actual language border in Belgium), all documents have to be in French. For the full 100%. If there is one word of Dutch in there, the document becomes null and void (I speak from experience).

But, in the same breath, in any official document in Belgium it is not allowed to have foreign words in there. And with foreign I mean anything bar Dutch, French and German (the three official languages of Belgium). A microwave wasn't allowed to be called a microwave in Belgian contracts for instance.

There is no country in the world that is as divided as Belgium is. And it reflects itself in just about everything there. Where in The Netherlands the football competition was cancelled because of corona, the initial decision to do the same was done much earlier in Belgium, but no official statement has been given up to today. Instead of trying to come together to make the best out of a very bizarre situation, it seems that in Belgium they all want what's best for themselves. And that just doesn't work, in my opinion.
 
Twelfth of June 2020, 12-06-2020

This will be a piece where I write a bit like the Devil's Advocate.

When I grew up, in the 1970s and 1980s, there was a slight shift in the Dutch approach to Germany. Not much and most certainly not in football, the rivalry between the Germans and the Dutch is unprecedented even to this day. But, the Dutch were more and more told that we shouldn't keep holding modern day Germans for the atrocities their fathers and grandfathers committed in World War II. That it had been so 'long' ago (35, 40 years was in those days a long time). It really wasn't the fault of Germans who were born after the war.

Anyone getting to where I am going?

A couple of weeks ago, after the murder of George Floyd, I thought that there would be some protests, but nothing much would change. And while that might or might not be the case in the US, I don't know because I don't hear or see enough of that, in Europe there's been some real stuff going on. All kinds of statues have been vandalized and pulled down, in Bristol one was even thrown in the harbour.
Because, so the protesters say, *every* white person living now, should be held responsible for what happened 300, 400 years ago. And that just doesn't sit right with me. I'm all for change for the better, but for everyone. Not for some, where others will be pushed into guilt.

And I know that the Dutch weren't the best all those years ago. The Dutch East (and West) India company provided the slave ships, and in Indonesie we weren't the best 'masters'. But should we try to wipe out the whole history? Or should we try to learn from it?

My main motto these days is to try to make the day ahead a better one as the day just gone. For myself, but certainly also for others. I really don't give a shit what colour your skin is, if you're a jerk, you're a jerk, and if you're a good person, you're good. And if I cross the road, because I want to keep my distance from you during this pandemic, it's not because you're white or black or yellow or purple with green dots, it's because you're coming to close to me and I have no idea who you've been in contact with.

If you erase a whole past, future generations can't learn from the mistakes they made and to me that almost automatically means that similar mistakes shall be made in the future. If we don't teach our children that everybody is equal, they'll be more likely to venture into avenues leading to renewed segregation and racism.
Taking the statue of Columbus down, because 'thanks' to him slavery could exist is really over the top. The Romans, some 1500 years before Columbus held slaves, should we erase them too?
 
Thirteenth of June 2020, 13-06-2020

Last night I met up with my best friend for the first time in four months. Over the years there's been times we didn't see each other for a year or even longer, but since my return to The Netherlands we've been seeing more of each other. I've known him for 42 years now and despite the fact we haven't got a lot in common, it works. That's how it goes with friendships and especially after such a long time you really know who true friends are.

When I moved to the UK, in 2007, he told me that all his friends lived abroad, one in Argentina, me in the UK and one in New Zealand. The UK is doable from here, but New Zealand is more than a day flying. Sadly though, his friend in New Zealand, a guy I knew as well, who was in our class the final year of primary school, died last year due to MS.

But back to last night, my friend and I had a good catch up, since his relationship ended he's been discovering the wonderful world of internet dating and it's funny to hear his stories. His preferred choice for women is totally not mine. Those of you that know about my writing or have written with me, will know that I have a thing for large age differences, where he won't go under 45, and even that feels young to him. And where I am very to extremely dominant, he's at best a switch, but leaning to the sub side. But, via Tinder he's met a woman now who confessed she loves being tied up, and so I could give him some tips on how to 'torture' her.

We've also been making plans for a couple of trips to Germany, to the south and the east, on two separate occasions. To visit some cities and hopefully to go watch some lower league football. It's so much nicer to watch lower leagues, have a few beers (or a lot of beers), watch crap football and still have the time of your life. Tickets will be cheap, the beer as well, and if we get some good travel arrangements, we could be off for a week or ten days. But not this year or the first half of next year. But that's also the beauty about plans, you make them and then see when you can get to realize them.

But the most memorable thing, for me personally, was his admission that he takes inspiraton from me. The way I am dealing with everything and never feel down or depressed by it. It's a very big compliment and something that really did me a wealth of good. And so I know that at least for one person in the world, I'm doing the right thing, by trying to make today a better day than yesterday. And tomorrow a better day than today. For myself, but also for others.
 
Fourteenth of June 2020, 14-06-2020

An early entry today. It's 7..45am here, but as per usual I've been awake for nearly 2 hours. Sometimes I am wide awake even before 6. When I am too awake to get back to sleep, I get up, make myself a large mug of strong black coffee and check the games I have installed on my phone. And when I've finished that, I get up properly, to come online here and on Discord.

But this weekend there's an event on TV, which is pretty awesome. In a normal year, this weekend the 24 hours of Le Mans would be driven, arguably the biggest car racing event in any given year. Most certainly one of the oldest events still running. But because of COVID-19 the real 24 hours has been rescheduled to the end of summer. And instead a vritual 24 hours was arranged and is happening as we speak. They started at 3pm yesterday afternoon, local time. Amazingly enough, some 50 to 60 teams, each with four drivers, are taking part. So, some 200 people, mostly men, but some women too, all have a simulator set-up in their homes anywhere in the world.

It's a huge operation, to get it technically working, and since it's the first time on such a large scale it's not without faults and flaws. In the 7th hour of racing, there was a server crash, which lasted half an hour, but it was solved. Roughly half to three-quarters of the participants are gamers, and the rest are real life racers. And there's some quite big names there. Charles Leclerc, of the Ferrari Formula 1 team, Max Verstappen, the Dutch driver for Red Bull Racing, Fernando Alonso, two time real winner of Le Mans, Rubens Barichello, to name but a few.

It's a shame though that the virtual race isn't broadcasted for the full 24 hours, unlike the real race, instead several repeats of other sports are being shown. I'll have to wait until midday today, to see where things are at. But I do know, by looking on t'internet that our very own Max Verstappen and his team are out of the race. A server-glitch meant that the computer took over from the driver and it couldn't be fixed. It would have been quite something, if Max could have won it, in any normal given year a young F1 driver like him would never be allowed to take part. Perhaps at the end of his F1 career, like Fernando Alonso did, but not now. It isn't to be.

Yet, the fact the Le Mans organization have managed to get this virtual race going, I am certain that there will be follow-ups. Esports really will be part of the future, not just traditional sports, but also the Esport gaming. And perhaps in a few decades from now, traditional sports will be gone and all people watch is virtual stuff. Who knows, I don't think I'll be part of that world anymore.
 
Fifteenth of June 2020, 15-06-2020

I've been debating what to write today. I've been thinking of saying something again about the anti-racism protests in Europe, but I am self-censoring there. It's going in a direction that is more divisive than anything else.

There's a nice thread in the Out of Character section, about the last movie one has seen. As I have mentioned here before, I have all the time in the world, for various reasons. But, and I have mentioned that too, I only have 'normal' TV available to me. In the beginning of the global lockdown, domestic TV channels were struggling what to broadcast. At first it was a lot of repeats of repeats and some channels still do that. After a little while, a couple of weeks, BBC2 and the two German national channels ARD & ZDF started to show a lot of films. Old films mainly. German TV sticks to their own, but they do really good fairy-tales and crime films & series. In Germany they still believe it's better to dub all foreign films, which to me always feels stupid as hell.

Seeing Clint Eastwood, as Dirty Harry for instance, and then hearing him speak German is utterly ridiculous. Over here, in The Netherlands, we've always subtitled our foreign films and series. And that also helps in getting to learn foreign languages.
BBC2 has been showing a lot of old RKO films, but they've now moved into the 1950s and are showing westerns. Because a lot of those films I never saw before, and they are the latest films I (have) see( n), I add them to the evergrowing list in the Last Movie you saw-thread.

I doubt anyone else posting in there takes notice of what I put, just as I have no clue about any of the other films posted there. I highly doubt any of those other films would be of interest to me. One look at one of my earliest posts here, about my top 10 in films, should tell anyone the kind of films I'm really interested in. But, that's how people work. To each their own, if we'd all be interested in the same things, this world would be a piss-boring place to live on. No, it's good we're all different, and because of our differences, art is around.

The great Arthur C. Clarke even wrote that in his book Childhood's End. Where an alien race, on order by something even more powerful, put an end to all and every conflict on earth, the first thing that happened was that art disappeared.
 
Sixteenth of June 2020, 16-06-2020

This morning I've been to the hairdressers, for the first time in four months. And while that is neither a shocking nor an exciting message, if you are reading this and you happen to be from the UK, you might be thinking 'why'?

You see, for all you others, in the UK hairdressers etcetera still haven't opened, they're also still arguing what to do with primary schools and non-essential shops have only just reopened. And to make matters stranger, or worse, that depends on how you look at it, since last week Monday all travellers into the UK have to go into a two week quarantaine.
That two week period is bizarre, because any Brit with suspected COVID-symptoms only has to self-isolate for 7 days, so why impose two weeks on others?

The whole dealing of the UK is being critisized, one of the first measures they took was to lock everyone over 70 away in their own homes. So to say as to protect them from the virus, but at the same time all kinds of sporting events still went ahead. By the time it was really too late, and the UK went into a quite strict lockdown, the one thing they didn't do was close the borders. They remained open for anyone, right up until June 8th, when it was broadly reported that Europe would reopen their borders. But, as I wrote last week, I am convinced it's just a little play of Johnson and his government to 'warn' Europe that this is what it means for the UK to have their own sovereignty back.

The UK has been economically hit far harder than other European countries. For instance, where The Netherlands is seeing a downfall of 6% in April, in the UK, over the same period it's 20%. But then again, non-essential shops never were forced to close here, even though the larger chains still closed their shops.

Now that on mainland Europe the strictest measures are being rewinded, the UK follows a different path, basically the only thing they are following Europe in, is the restart of sports. Because, that seems to be much more important, that a bunch of men run behind a ball and try to score more goals than the opponent. I specifically say men here, because the Women's Premier League has been cancelled for the rest of the year. And of course the very essential business of gambling (betting shops) are open as well, horses are running around the course, cricket will be restarting, rugby is difficult, because of contact.

And schools should be open, but that's a whole piece in itself. On mainland Europe most countries have reopened their primary schools in full, in the UK they're still debating if it's a good idea. They know that children are both less likely to catch corona as spread it, but on the off chance that they do, school leaders and parents aren't sure that children should go back to school. And so the government is using another measure of pressure. They have stopped the school-dinner voucher scheme per the 1st of July. It means that 1.3 MILLION children, eligible for the vouchers don't get it anymore. Yes, dear reader, in the UK there are 1.3 MILLION children who have a parent or parents who earn less than 7.4K in pounds per year. I get more on my benefits alone.
If you don't read the top bit, and only this, you'd think the UK is a third world country, with so many children living in poverty.

But, and I want to conclude with it, why am I writing all this, what's my interest in the UK and why am I so bothered how terrible they are doing. I have mentioned here before that I have lived there for 9 years, my son still does. He lives with my ex. And if the UK really is going bankrupt, the way I am foreseeing it to happen, with a no-deal Brexit not far away as well, that will have its effects on him. and on me (and my mother) visiting him. He won't notice much of it yet, in about a week and a half he'll be turning 8, so he has a whole life in front of him, but what kind of life will that be if my ex loses her job and they land in poverty as well?
This thread here is my way of venting a little bit, every now and then, so you'll have to forgive me for that.
 
Seventeenth of JUne 2020, 17-06-2020.

I've been sleeping very bad the last couple of nights, being wide awake around 3.30 or 4. There's no reason for it, I believe I've mentioned my terrible sleeping pattern here before. But since today I've been keeping away from the internet, I'm going to keep this sweet and short. Tomorrow, if something interesting happens, I'll probably write more.
 
Eighteenth of June 2020, 18-06-2020

Books are a strange phenomenon. Not in the sense of the tangible thing that a book is, various different sizes, but in general the same, cover, pages, end-cover. No, the strange-ness is about the content. What is it that makes a book good? Because taste, personal taste, varies for everyone. But can a book that I find bad, still be good? And who decides that?

Since the reopening of Dutch libraries, I've made two trips there, the first time I found two (out of four) books that made up a quartet with a similar kind of topic. And those two I found good, although I have not finished the second (and thus renewed it), The four titles are:
Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke (read)
Stand on Zanzibar by John Brunner (still reading)
Ice by Anna Kavan
Earth Abides by George R Stewart

Four novels that we now call dystopian, but at the time of publishing were classed as science-fiction. There are many more of such books, written a long time ago, so why those four are grouped together I don't know, you should ask the Dutch publisher (of the Dutch translations).

On my second trip earlier this week, I managed to get my hands on Ice and read it already. And I found it terrible, I couldn't get in it, I didn't get the idea or the plot and after finishing I still wonder what the fuss is about. The George R Stewart book I haven't found yet, but that will come undoubtedly.

So how does this work, I wonder, why do I find one book good and the other not? A similar example, To kill a mockingbird by Harper Lee. I only read that book a couple of years ago and I found it hopelessly outdated. Yet, to this day it's classed as one of the best books in American history. Of course it's about taste, but that doesn't cover it completely.

Take fantasy, I have read and still read a lot of fantasy books, my favourite series (not surprising) The Malazan Book of the Fallen. To me personally nothing comes even remotely close. Even more, where a lot of people swear by George RR Martin's Game of Thrones, I really don't get that. I managed chapter 4 in the first book, before chucking it away. I really don't see what the hype is all about.

If you thought I was going to give an answer to my question here, how does it work, liking one book (series) and hating another. I have no idea. I don't think I'll ever find out, it's a mix of personal taste and the style of writing, I am assuming, but even that's a guess. Who knows.
The main thing for me is that people keep reading books, proper books, words on paper. And whatever it is you like, have fun and enjoy!
 
Nineteenth of June 2020, 19-06-2020

Today is Juneteenth, or so I have read, the date that the last of the states, Texas, signed away slavery, after the civil war.

But, that's totally not what I am going to write about. No, I want to touch the subject of dark roleplaying. Whenever I see a female request thread with the word dark in the title, my heart jumps a little bit, only to settle down very quickly as my meaning of dark is totally different than that of most other people. I think I have mentioned that before and it's even possible I've already had a piece about it. I've been writing these pieces since the end of January and I really don't reread any of them and keep a record of what I have and what I haven't written about.

I'm not a fan of using words like dark or taboo or kink. They all have some sort of negative connotation in my ears and mind. If two consenting adults come to an agreement, whether that is in writing or in real life, what on earth is dark about that, or taboo, or kinky? In fact, isn't it the most beautiful event to meet someone who has a similar taste as yourself and you get together on a path to fulfill your ever need, desire and craving?

And, no matter how strange it might seem in the eyes of others, insolong as those two adults totally agree. Respect each other's wishes and dislikes and stick to it, how can such a relationship be naughty or wrong?
I often declare myself to be in the gutter. I love it there, but I am face-up, looking at the light. I am not a man for the faint-hearted, I write things that a lot of people shy away from. The main thing though for me, is that everything I write is possible to take place. Realistic settings, with realistic people. I don't write anything outside slice-of-life, for the pure and simple fact that it's that genre where I thrive. I draw on a lot of my personal experiences. And some things I make up. Not because I wouldn't do those things, just that they've never happened.

But, to each his or her own, I just wish that there would be one clear 'translation' for the word dark, so that I won't be disappointed over and over. Because, I have plenty of time to write more, there's just not enough on offer for me.
 
Twentieth of June 2020, 20-06-2020.

The weather forecast for the coming week is hot. And although I realize that my idea of hot will be 'nice weather' for some, I'm not used to temperatures of 31 Celsius. Last year we had record highs of a little over 40 Celsius, which for a country that has two sides against a body of water, and quite northern on the map is extreme. It's dry too, much too dry, we've not had significant rain for months and if the trend is going to continue like this, in not all too long temperatures of 30 Celsius aren't an exception anymore, but the norm.

And while I realize that some people will disagree with the following, it's clear and obvious that it's all down to global warming. During the early weeks of lockdown, when most people were working from home and barely anyone used their cars, air quality improved by a lot. So it is possible to do something about it. It's just a shame that it took a pandemic to make people aware of what actually is going on. Not that it has changed much, for now that everything is slowly reopening and people go out and about again, the same quality of the air is going down the drain again.

So yeah, we're still in June and we're already heading north of 30 Celsius, and I am not looking forward to that. It'll be suffering for me and drinking lots of water. This morning at my usual weekly shopping I bought ice-cream. Very cheap ice lollies on two sticks. There's 12 in a box, so by next week I'll buy another box.
And for the rest, I am not going to do much today, there's a lot of football on TV and I love my couch *grins*.
 
Twenty-first of June 2020, 21-06-2020

When I left the previous adult roleplaying site I was on, I did that for the sole reason that in my opinion said site was heading rapidly towards PG13 and too PC. I find it strange if people come to a roleplaying site dedicated to ERP and then try to change such a site for it to become sandbox. There are plenty of roleplaying sites dedicated to PG13 writing.

But it makes me wonder if that is because of the times we're living. Not the whole pandemic, but the influence of social media. I've mentioned here before that when I grew up the norm was for girls and women to swim and sunbathe topless. And because it was so normal, nobody blinked an eye. Nobody took notice, apart from a few young boys for whom it was very exciting to see boobs galore. But over the years, and I think it comes down to smartphones mainly, you won't see anyone do that anymore. With a smartphone you can take pictures almost unseen for anyone, pretend to look something up and a picture is taken. And not only that, a picture is posted on the internet within a flash.

I get that, I don't think it's a good development, because in my personal opinion it goes hand-in-hand with the world going much more prude. For me the only thing that counts is that if two consenting adults (!!!) can agree on what they love and crave, there is nothing naughty about that. Or kinky, or dirty. Why is having sex dirty? Why do we have to speak about naughty when all we mean is fun?

There are still places in the world, too many places in the world, where sexual education is seen as a bad thing to do. Because, or so it is often said, it will only encourage teenagers to have sex if they know what they do. I don't agree with that. I think the opposite is closer to the truth. If teenagers were to realize better that sex can lead to babies, and that as a young girl having to carry that weight with you and give birth to a baby, they will think harder about having unprotected sex. But it has also got to do with how a country is, of course. Over here it was pretty normal for a girl to get on the pill the moment she started her period. That was at a time that the average age to get a first period was around 13. Nowadays that average age is younger, with girls as young as 9 having a first period. I don't know the reason for that, all I know is that in the few cases I was close enough to know those girls, it was quite a traumatic thing, why them so early?

The pregnancy rate for girls aged 15 to 19 in The Netherlands is 5 births per 1,000 females, with 3 of those coming from adult girls, so aged 18 and 19. There are first world countries where it is 3 to 5 times as high as that, and there have been countries where it was 11 times as high (but that country is seeing it drop significantly in the last two decades). All children here get sexual education at primary school levels, and very often it is normal to talk about it at home. Would that be a reason why the rate is so low over here? I don't know, it's very well possible.

Sex is something good and fun, the days of sex to produce offspring have long gone and only appear in books these days. And writing about sex is also good and fun, especially on those sites that give room for consenting adults to weave a story together. About fantasies that can go beyond what is allowed in real life, but are still crafted by consenting adults, adhering to the rules of those sites. Let's try to keep those sites alive and not change them into PG13 sites.
 
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