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Destiny: Zeros not Heros (Alpha and PlatemailBikini)

Khwari sighed. "You do certainly act like one." He bobbed low before rising up again. "Normally I don't give out advice on how to seduce my guardian, but I hope moving past this childish behavior will follow. You must remember that Tiamat Enheduanna is a household name in the City. Most people want her. Hell, she's actually married to Lord Shaxx." Khwari had never seen the point of Shaxx's 'event'. Nowadays it was hard to find a crucible veteran that wasn't married to him... "Like it or not you're not doing much to stand out from the rest. So far all she has to go on is that you'd like to fuck her. Big whoop, so does everyone else."
 
"Most people are married to Lord Shaxx at this point. Hell, I'm married to Lord Shaxx and I didn't even want his stupid bow. Being married to Shaxx is really NOT that impressive a feat."

"I'm still amazed you where able to find anyone who was willing to partner with you. You're also the only person Shaxx chose to divorce."

A look of shock crossed Kell's face when the normally reserved Khwari chose to drop an F bomb in the middle of their conversation, wile the visor hid the look on his face, he did stop dead in track for several seconds before managing to stammer a response, "Look, I come out into the field with her, with banter and what not, we shoot things. Do I wanna get up in her business? Sure! Is it in the end of the world if I don't? No. Not unless she's said something about it? Wait? Did she say something about this to you?"
 
Another sigh. "No, she hasn't. But you need to pick a direction and stick with it. If you want to romance her, put in the effort. If you don't, please stop acting like a creep."

"Guys, there's voices up ahead. Cabal." Tiamat's voice spoke over the comms, causing Khwari to blink out, disappearing into thin air. "Also I heard you guys talking. Something about Lord Shaxx? You talking shit about my husband Kell?" She had stopped up ahead, standing at the ready at a door. "It's only a few rooms ahead now."

As Jacob and Sigg caught up, she gave them a nod, before opening thew door and throwing in a grenade. As the foes inside dove for cover, she charged in, rifle blazing.

"Me marrying him may not be impressive. But how many of us have slept with him? I count me, Efrideet and Mara Sov."
 
"Woah woah woah woah. I am not a creep." Kell protested, "I am a charming rogue."

"No, you're a creep."

"Why are you always so negative?"

"Because I hate you."

As they caught up to Tiamat, Kell pulled his cannon loose from it's holster and double checked the load. He suddered visablly when she mentioned sleeping with Shaxx. The idea of Shaxx doing just about anything that normal people may do boggled his mind. He had seen the Cruible Overseer drink coffee through a straw to avoid taking his helmet off.

Dispite his discomfort at her statement one thought did float to top and he had to ask it, as he threw himself into the fray, sliding across the floor to reach cover behind a pile of shipping crates.

"Im probably gonna regret asking this. But does he leave the helmet on?"
 
As Tiamat closed in to her foe, a phalanx, she lowered her gun and sprinted forward, her last round enough to break his shield. She delivered a quick pulse of void light to his face, popping it like a balloon.

Three more phalanxes and half a dozen legionaries were left in the room, and she was forced to retreat, ducking behind the same cover Jacob was occupying. She groaned, a few bullets having hit her after her own shields broke. She opened a healing rift, feeling the cold numbness wash over her as the energies healed her wounds.

"Oh, the helmet stays on. Always." She popped back up, firing a burst against one of the other phalanxes, not risking more than that. She shrugged, "Somehow he still gives great head though."
 
For the time being, Kell decided to let his partner do the heavy lifting, instead focusing his attention to the Psions on the catwalk overhead. There wasn't going to be any showing off this time.

"Sigg, I need a rifle."

Without any arguing the Ghost transmatting a scout rifle into the hunters hands. He popped up from behind the crate, presenting as small a target as his could before sucking in a deep breath. The shots landed in rapid succssion, one two three, but the forth shot went wide. The laser focus he had been in suddenly shattered by Tiamat's comments about Shaxx.

"Oh fuck. Fuck I do NOT need that image in my head." He shot back as he dropped back into cover, a rain of shots hammering against his crate from above, "I swear it's like you enjoy nearly getting my head blown off some days."

"I wouldn't mind seeing that "
 
Tiamat popped back up, this time tossing another grenade, which landed behind two of the legionaries, blowing them to bits in a burst of darkness. She reloaded her rifle, then switched out to her trusty Graviton Lance. A burst of fire, and another legionary exploded into void light, bringing another two down with him.

"Hey, it's the only way you're ever getting blown."
 
Shots flew back and forth, the smell of scorched ozone mingle with the sulfurly smell of spent gunpowder. The empty magazine dropped from his rifle to the floor with a clatter before he fed a fresh one in, "You thanatonauts are all the same. Always thinking about someone dying. You realize that's really morbid right?"

A stray energy bolt from a Psion rifle glanced off Kell's helmet, scaring the faceplate enough for it to obstruct his vision. He swore heavily and dropped the rifle, fumbeling with the clasps on his helmet before tossing it aside.

He wasn't a bad looking guy, simple and rugged with a squared jaw and a shaggy head of sandy coloured hair, a short beared covering his face. He quickly recovered the rifle and pulled his hood back up.

"Booooo, I hoped that would have splattered your brains all over the wall."

"Not the time Sigg."

He peering out from behind cover, taking count of the remaining troops, a few Legionaries, another Phalanx and that one fuckin Psion that had just ruined his favorite helmet, "Well, the good news is I think we already killed their commander. Bad news is they didn't stand down."

He turned his attention briefly towards their foes, "HEY, YOUR BOSS IS DEAD. IF YA'LL SURRENDER NOW WE'LL BE NICE!"

The offer was met with a focused hail of gunfire which Kell returned in find, putting down the Psion and the Legionaries.

That wicked playful grin crossed his face as he dropped the rifle and stepped out or cover, bringing his cannon to level as the Phalanx turned it's attention to him, it's shield flairing to life.

One shot slammed into the center of the shield, frying it's emitter, leaving the hulking brute vulnerable before a second shot penetrated it's skull, dropping it with a dramatic pop.

"Aaaaaaand that looks like the end of that. Come on. Admit it. You're a little impressed."
 
"Oh yes, very impressive. That was what? A psion, a phalanx and a handful of legionaries? Alert Saladin, we have a new Iron Lord on our hands." She got out from behind cover, shrugging her shoulders. "If you really wanted to impress you'd have-"

"Guardians, the signal is coming from above." Khwari chimed in, hoping to kill whatever ludicrous thing his guardian was about to say. He turned his eye to the ceiling. This particular room was taller than most of the others, and a ladder along the wall led up to a balcony overlooking the first floor. Tiamat pointed to the door on the balcony, a silent question. "No, further up." Above even the balcony was the roof itself, and a small hatch.

"Huh, no ladder for that one." Tiamat stated, noting the lack of access to the hatch.

"Must be for some crane or drone or something."

"Three meters ahead, on the floor."

"Oh, thanks Lollipop." Tiamat sauntered over to the broken off ladder laying discarded on the ground. "Looks like someone doesn't want us to get in there..."
 
Kell scoffed at the mention of the Iron Lord's, "Scout Master Salad Bowl and his troop of Wolf Scouts wouldn't know what to do with someone as damned skilled as me. Really, I think if anything, old Salad Bowl should step down, let me run things. Different time and different place now. We ain't fighting warlords no more."

He sauntered over casually to join her by the fallen ladder, Sigg porting in to hover above his shoulder as he came to a stop before looking upwards, "Well if whatever it is we're looking for is up there someone's gonna have to hold this ladder steady and let the other go.". He crouched down and took a firm grip frame, "I'll hold it, you climb."

"You just want to gawk at her behind when she climbs up."

"No I'm just being polite, after all, she is the greatest of all Guaridans and I am merely a humble gunslinger."
 
Tiamat giggled at the Hunter's comments about the Iron Lords. "I thought you Hunters were supposed to hate paperwork and administrative work?" She shook her head and began to ascend the offered ladder, shooting Kell a warning glare as she passed him. One that managed to convey 'don't you fucking dare drop me'.

As she climbed Kell got a magnificent view of her rear, almost straining to escape her trousers. Each step on the ladder brought with it another jiggle of her truly juicy ass.

"Ahem". Khwari cleared his non-existant throat, bringing Kell's attention to the fact that the ghost was hovering next to him, giving him a stern look.
 
Kell steadied the ladder, keeping an arm looped through one of the lower rungs wile one hand rested on the frame, "Well, if I'm in charge then I can decide if all that administrative shit is really nessessary. Spoiler, it isn't."

Out of spite for Sigg more than anything he kept his gaze away from Tiamat's ass as she climbed, as much as he wanted to he wasn't going to give either of the ghosts the satisfaction of being able to claim they where right.

He stared off into the middle distance, humming absentmindedly to himself before before the stern eyed ghost decided to get a little too close for comfort, "Can I help you with something?"
 
The ghost gave him the closest thing they were capable of to a glare. "No, nothing..." With a fizzle, he de-matted.

"You know," Tiamat steadied the ladder on her end, "I don't think that's quite how it works. Leadership and servitude are pretty much the same thing. All that admin work is necessary. Otherwise you're a shitty leader."
 
Kell started up the ladder, taking the first two rungs before kicking off and launching himself straight upwards to catch the top rung before hauling himself up onto the platform.

"Yeah, but organized leadership doesn't actually accomplish anything. It's nice and neat and all, but at the end of the day orders don't work. History prooves it. Imagine what would have happened if Shaxx had fallen back as ordered at Twilight Gap instead of rushing to clog the breach? We would have lost the whole city. Orders and the people who give them aren't always right."

"You keep acting like not following orders is going to some how get you a commendation when all it causes is more work for me."
 
"Without 'organized leadership' there wouldn't be a city to defend in the first place. I know I've been called an anarchist before, but that's not even anarchy. Even an individualist commune needs some guidance. I mean, you think a band of lone wolf Hunters roaming the wilds would be able to rekindle the Golden Age all on their own? Without someone handing out missions, you'd just be a heavily armed vagrant with magical powers."

As Tiamat finished her little rant, she turned around, spotting what had to be their target. A lone engram of archaic design sitting there on a little pedestal, in the middle of an otherwise seemingly empty room. She froze in place, watching the room cautiously, her ghost voicing her thoughts perfectly:

"That has got to be the most obvious trap in the solar system."
 
"Hey, back in the dark ages we were all just heavily aarmed vagrants and we managed just fine without structure. I mean....sure we had to contend with Warlords AND Fallen but we managed, everyone got through it ok and now......" He trailed off as he realized his own line of reasoning was taking him towards agreeing with her. Wile very few people could out shoot Jacob Kell, out smarting him wasn't that hard to do.

So instead he dropped the subject and instead focused on Engram sitting infront of them.

"Trap aren't that intimidating in my book." He said casually strolling over to the pedistol and with no hesitation snatching the Engram from it casually tossing it into the air and catching it, "Next!" He shouted into the nothingness, waiting for the trap to spring.

Sigg let out an agravated sigh, not for the first time that day, knowing full well that Kell would in all likelihood did in whatever trap he had just intentionally set off and he would have to rez him again.
 
A soft fizzle sounded as the engram in his hand begun to de-code itself. Flecks of light flitted to and fro as Kell's transmat started up, responding to the engram.

"Oh oh, that's not good." Tiamat backed off, opening a rift and crouching down in it as Khwari de-matted. In a flash, the engram vanished, replaced with...

A diamond. A perfectly cut diamond. Looking closely, Kell thought he could see something embedded in it. Something small, but definitely some kind of tech. It looked almost like a miniature-

"Greetings Guardians!"

- a speaker.

The voice that spoke was deep and guttural, but filled with an unnerving joviality. "If you hear this message of mine, it means you've fallen for one of the classic blunders: 'If something is obviously a trap, it must be a double-lie'. Not so, as you've now learned. Do not worry. I have no intention of killing you. Permanently."

Tiamat had perked up at the voice, and was now back over by Jacob, her rift still open and thoroughly ignored by her. She watched the diamond closely. A deep hum filled the air around them, as well as the stench of ozone. A clear sign of an incoming orbital laser. A sign Tiamat ignored, instead tapping the diamond.

"Emperor Calus? Did you shrink yourself and get into a diamond just to send us a mess-"

At that point the room filled with light, as the orbital blast incinerated them both.

And then, seemingly an instant later, they were back, revived by their ghosts. Although no longer on Mars, but standing in a small, blindingly opulent room literally covered in gold. The only visible opening, a blazing force field, a wall of red that blocked any vision of the world beyond.

"-age?" Tiamat finally finished, blinking and wincing in pain.
 
Confusion was a fairly natural state for Kell to find himself in. A few hundred years of his head rattling around inside his helmet had left his brain more than just a little scrambled after countless concussions. As Sigg always liked to point out that wile he was obligated to keep The Hunter alive, he was by no means obligated to make sure every single injury he suffered was mended. One time he had left Kell to suffer a particularly nasty case of food poisioning purely out of spite saying that he had no one to blame but himself for eating the ancient jar of nacho cheese he had found on a shelf somewhere in Old Chicago.

So when they suddenly found themselves standing in a very grandiose, and in his opinion, tacky, looking Golden room, he was only slightly more confused than usual.

He tilted his head to one side, inspecting the room around them, not even realizing he was still clutching the gem stone in his hand that Tiamat had been arguing with.

"Well. This is not at all how I expected my day to go when I woke up this morning."
 
"Welcome back guardians," Khwari said, hovering just above Tiamat. "To make a long story short, right after that orbital blast killed you both, we were nabbed by the Cabal. We are now aboard the Leviathan, no doubt for one of Calus' sick games."

Tiamat sighed. And this was going to be a short mission... A voice called out from the ceiling, the same voice from the diamond.

"Ah, you are finally awake. Now we can begin. Two prolific guardians, good candidates for my Shadows. But, you must pass a trial: the first one will begin shortly. You will notice I have left you your weapons, and the goal is simple! As soon as the forcefield opens, you will find yourself surrounded by the Hive. Clear them out, and escape without dying, and you will have passed."

Tiamat checked her rifle, confirming that it was still loaded, and gave Jacob a tentative nod. "You will have a moment to ready yourself. Ten... Nine... Eight..."
 
Kell clenched his jaw as he listened, checking over his cannon again as he heard the growls of the Thralls on the other side of the field. He hated Hive, something about them made his skin crawl and wile he'd never actually admit it he was feeling less than thrilled to be face to face with them in such vast numbers. He sucked a deep breath in through gritted teeth, trying to steel his nerves against the tide of flesh that broke against the field again and again, waiting eagerly to overwhelm the pair of guardians presented to them by The Emperor.

"You are really gonna owe me one once we get out of this one. Because this just went way beyond what you asked me to help with it."

He leveled the canon, training it on one of Thrall, his finger resting against the trigger, "Sigg, gimme something with a beat."

The Ghost let out a sigh and after a brief moment a track from Kell's vast collection of Pre-Golden Age Music began the play.

The field dropped and the mass of Hive rushed forward, Kell feathered the trigger, sending a round slamming into the leg of a Thrall, causing it trip and several of it's buddies behind it to trip over it's collapsed form.
 
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