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Feedback on my RT please?

A.Storey

Moon
Joined
Nov 29, 2024
Hey there BMR!

I am rather new to THIS forum, and to using forums for RP writing - this is my first one. I was previous mostly active on Discord RP servers before deciding to take a break from writing.
Decided I'd like to try rediscovering my muse here! And with that comes a slightly new way of doing things...

Would you mind giving me your feedback please on my RT overall?


Are the plot outlines well written? Do they have enough substance without being too prescriptive?

I'd appreciate advice on how to improve it.

Thanks!
 
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i didn't do a full scan, but at first sight the font and font size threw me off, so it was kinda hard to follow. even tho the font is readable, the overall "vibe" it created made it hard for my eyes to know where to look, so it felt a bit overwhelming trying to go through what you'd written.

i would either just make the font default or pick like times new roman or georgia. and then keep the font size the default size (15).

if you need or want any help, don't be afraid to pm me ~ i'd be happy to help!
 
Thank you! Those are easy enough to fix - done and done. I don't like Times New Roman admittedly, so I went with Georgia.
Hope it's easier on the eyes now?
 
yes!! and then i would also try to not use too much italic in all the info about the plots.

i would maybe leave it like this (so that only the genres/themes/tropes) is in italic:

(A) The Menacing Company
Possible genres/themes/tropes:
power-play dynamics, forced proximity, revenge, mind fucks, teasing
Rivals to Lust, cheating, infidelity
Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:

  1. Junior New Hire x Senior Manager;
  2. Rival/Enemy Co-Workers;
  3. Mentor x Mentee;

but now it's definitely easier to read! and your overall thread looks more than okay.

or, actually, you might want to move the "about me" section up over the plots, as people often tend to use that information to decide whether or not they will bother looking at your plots. because if you're not already a match, they don't want to "waste" time reading your plots. so move that up, so potential partners can see what you offer.

and instead of linking to your about page, you can add it to your thread ~ that will make people happier. when all the info is in one place.
 
and instead of linking to your about page, you can add it to your thread ~ that will make people happier. when all the info is in one place.
I second this. Most people will give your thread only a furtive look to see if there's anything that interests them, so you should make sure that all essential info is readily visible. I think you've done so really well both with your bullet points and your plots: the pairings and themes are clearly presented, and if one of them catches the reader's eye, they can click the spoiler for more details. However, needing to click a link to get essential information adds an extra layer of friction that the reader won't bother with on their first scan. Plus, as someone who's made the same mistake before, I can guarantee that no one ever reads anything that's hidden behind links.

That aside, though, I think your thread looks really good. I hope you get a few bites soon!
 
Thank you both!
Fair enough. I see your point in keeping as much pertinent information on one page and avoid/minimize the use of extra links to other pages.

I'm trying to balance RT layout and organization with another piece of advice I read, about getting to the plots and ideas ASAP... still some fine tuning to do. I'll get on that!

I'd really appreciate thoughts on the plot wording and details - did I include enough information to paint a picture? Or did I narrow the scope too much?
 
if you have a lot of plots and want to organize them more, i'll recommend adding a tab section and separating each plot in there. that's a bit neater than adding a lot of spoilers, or having a mile-long request thread.

your plots have a enough information ~ it's all about visuals and organizing them.

quick example:

  • Possible genres/themes/tropes: power-play dynamics, forced proximity, revenge, mind fucks, teasing, rivals to lust, cheating, infidelity

    Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:
    1. Junior New Hire x Senior Manager;
    2. Rival/Enemy Co-Workers;
    3. Mentor x Mentee;

    Two rivals, YC and MC have a bad history between them from many years ago (back in high school/college), given the chance they would absolutely want to make the other person's life utterly miserable!

    They went their separate ways, forgetting about each other for a long stretch of time - until they ended up working together at the same company together. Worst of all, YC is in a senior position above MC. MC wants to make a strong positive impression in their new role and company; YC wants to make a very negative impression upon MC.

    Soon after MC joining, the company is bought out and merged with another company – both MC's and YC's jobs are potentially on the line if their overall team performance isn't up to standard.
  • Possible genres/themes/tropes: seduction, mutual lust, losing inhibitions, igniting passion, inappropriate relationships, forbidden affairs, romance

    Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:
    1. Professor x Student;
    2. New Professor x Final Year Student;
    3. Competing Professors;

    YC was a successful smut and relationships author, and became a guest professor teaching creative writing, due to their great success and popularity. As acclaimed and infamous YC may be – ironically, despite being 'the academic and industry expert' their actual love life and recent book sales have been dismal. Unhappily married to an uninterested partner – who disapproves of YC's subject matter – and with their publisher pressuring them to release another bestseller, YC is lacking the passion to conjure another book – their source of inspiration has been eroded.

    MC is an older, more mature student who is forced to enroll in YC's class. MC does not enjoy the subject at all, preferring to focus his attention on his true passions and interests (TBD). MC is abrasive, confrontational and defiant with YC – although still respectful. MC's backbone intrigues YC, as someone who is energetically following their dreams and passions, despite having to go through something unwanted. YC sees MC as source material for their next bestseller.
  • Possible genres/themes/tropes: seduction, prey vs predator, mind games, mind control, lust, thriller, dark humor

    Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:
    1. Professor x Student;
    2. Coworkers;
    3. Neighbors;

    A succubus/incubus demon needs to feed on the lustful energy of humans. It does this by tempting them, promising pleasure and whatever else as lure and bait to seduce the human. But there are consequences to doing so in the modern age, namely headlines and newspaper articles about missing people - it ends up all over social media and before it even decides to find its next victim, its cover is blown, and a horde of people are trying to track the demon down. Maybe for a night of passion, maybe to hunt and capture it for testing or imprisonment? Maybe just to destroy it?

    No... that simply will not do. The demon needs to be covert and hide in plain sight, disguise itself as one of the humans, walk among them to find and stalk its next target without the spotlight. The demon is trying to survive and remain undetected but inevitably... there are always clues and traces that raise suspicions. How long can the demon stay hidden for? What lengths will it go to remain hidden and survive? And what happens when those suspicions result in raised alarms, when its trail is exposed and followed by a hunter?
 
yes, here. feel free to format the text differently within the tabs!

Code:
[TABS=650x350][slide_header]  [B]The Menacing Company  [/B][/slide_header][slide]
[JUSTIFY][SIZE=3][I]Possible genres/themes/tropes: [/I]power-play dynamics, forced proximity, revenge, mind fucks, teasing, rivals to lust, cheating, infidelity

Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:
[LIST=1]
[*][I]Junior New Hire x Senior Manager;[/I]
[*][I]Rival/Enemy Co-Workers;[/I]
[*][I]Mentor x Mentee;[/I]
[/LIST]

Two rivals, YC and MC have a bad history between them from many years ago (back in high school/college), given the chance they would absolutely want to make the other person's life utterly miserable!

They went their separate ways, forgetting about each other for a long stretch of time - until they ended up working together at the same company together. Worst of all, YC is in a senior position above MC. MC wants to make a strong positive impression in their new role and company; YC wants to make a very negative impression upon MC.

Soon after MC joining, the company is bought out and merged with another company – both MC's and YC's jobs are potentially on the line if their overall team performance isn't up to standard.
[/SIZE][/JUSTIFY]
[/slide]
[slide_header]  [B]Inspiring Forbidden Literature  [/B][/slide_header][slide]
[JUSTIFY][SIZE=3][I]Possible genres/themes/tropes: [/I]seduction, mutual lust, losing inhibitions, igniting passion, inappropriate relationships, forbidden affairs, romance

Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:
[LIST=1]
[*][I]Professor x Student;[/I]
[*][I]New Professor x Final Year Student;[/I]
[*][I]Competing Professors;[/I]
[/LIST]

YC was a successful smut and relationships author, and became a guest professor teaching creative writing, due to their great success and popularity. As acclaimed and infamous YC may be – ironically, despite being 'the academic and industry expert' their actual love life and recent book sales have been dismal. Unhappily married to an uninterested partner – who disapproves of YC's subject matter – and with their publisher pressuring them to release another bestseller, YC is lacking the passion to conjure another book – their source of inspiration has been eroded.

MC is an older, more mature student who is forced to enroll in YC's class. MC does not enjoy the subject at all, preferring to focus his attention on his true passions and interests (TBD). MC is abrasive, confrontational and defiant with YC – although still respectful. MC's backbone intrigues YC, as someone who is energetically following their dreams and passions, despite having to go through something unwanted. YC sees MC as source material for their next bestseller.
[/SIZE][/JUSTIFY]
[/slide]
[slide_header]  [B]Succubus Among Us[/B]  [/slide_header][slide]
[JUSTIFY][SIZE=3][I]Possible genres/themes/tropes: [/I]seduction, prey vs predator, mind games, mind control, lust, thriller, dark humor

Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:
[LIST=1]
[*][I]Professor x Student;[/I]
[*][I]Coworkers;[/I]
[*][I]Neighbors;[/I]
[/LIST]

A succubus/incubus demon needs to feed on the lustful energy of humans. It does this by tempting them, promising pleasure and whatever else as lure and bait to seduce the human. But there are consequences to doing so in the modern age, namely headlines and newspaper articles about missing people - it ends up all over social media and before it even decides to find its next victim, its cover is blown, and a horde of people are trying to track the demon down. Maybe for a night of passion, maybe to hunt and capture it for testing or imprisonment? Maybe just to destroy it?

No... that simply will not do. The demon needs to be covert and hide in plain sight, disguise itself as one of the humans, walk among them to find and stalk its next target without the spotlight. The demon is trying to survive and remain undetected but inevitably... there are always clues and traces that raise suspicions. How long can the demon stay hidden for? What lengths will it go to remain hidden and survive? And what happens when those suspicions result in raised alarms, when its trail is exposed and followed by a hunter?
[/SIZE][/JUSTIFY]
[/slide][/tabs]
 
yes, here. feel free to format the text differently within the tabs!

Code:
[TABS=650x350][slide_header]  [B]The Menacing Company  [/B][/slide_header][slide]
[JUSTIFY][SIZE=3][I]Possible genres/themes/tropes: [/I]power-play dynamics, forced proximity, revenge, mind fucks, teasing, rivals to lust, cheating, infidelity

Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:
[LIST=1]
[*][I]Junior New Hire x Senior Manager;[/I]
[*][I]Rival/Enemy Co-Workers;[/I]
[*][I]Mentor x Mentee;[/I]
[/LIST]

Two rivals, YC and MC have a bad history between them from many years ago (back in high school/college), given the chance they would absolutely want to make the other person's life utterly miserable!

They went their separate ways, forgetting about each other for a long stretch of time - until they ended up working together at the same company together. Worst of all, YC is in a senior position above MC. MC wants to make a strong positive impression in their new role and company; YC wants to make a very negative impression upon MC.

Soon after MC joining, the company is bought out and merged with another company – both MC's and YC's jobs are potentially on the line if their overall team performance isn't up to standard.
[/SIZE][/JUSTIFY]
[/slide]
[slide_header]  [B]Inspiring Forbidden Literature  [/B][/slide_header][slide]
[JUSTIFY][SIZE=3][I]Possible genres/themes/tropes: [/I]seduction, mutual lust, losing inhibitions, igniting passion, inappropriate relationships, forbidden affairs, romance

Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:
[LIST=1]
[*][I]Professor x Student;[/I]
[*][I]New Professor x Final Year Student;[/I]
[*][I]Competing Professors;[/I]
[/LIST]

YC was a successful smut and relationships author, and became a guest professor teaching creative writing, due to their great success and popularity. As acclaimed and infamous YC may be – ironically, despite being 'the academic and industry expert' their actual love life and recent book sales have been dismal. Unhappily married to an uninterested partner – who disapproves of YC's subject matter – and with their publisher pressuring them to release another bestseller, YC is lacking the passion to conjure another book – their source of inspiration has been eroded.

MC is an older, more mature student who is forced to enroll in YC's class. MC does not enjoy the subject at all, preferring to focus his attention on his true passions and interests (TBD). MC is abrasive, confrontational and defiant with YC – although still respectful. MC's backbone intrigues YC, as someone who is energetically following their dreams and passions, despite having to go through something unwanted. YC sees MC as source material for their next bestseller.
[/SIZE][/JUSTIFY]
[/slide]
[slide_header]  [B]Succubus Among Us[/B]  [/slide_header][slide]
[JUSTIFY][SIZE=3][I]Possible genres/themes/tropes: [/I]seduction, prey vs predator, mind games, mind control, lust, thriller, dark humor

Suggested Pairings – variation from #1 may require modifications:
[LIST=1]
[*][I]Professor x Student;[/I]
[*][I]Coworkers;[/I]
[*][I]Neighbors;[/I]
[/LIST]

A succubus/incubus demon needs to feed on the lustful energy of humans. It does this by tempting them, promising pleasure and whatever else as lure and bait to seduce the human. But there are consequences to doing so in the modern age, namely headlines and newspaper articles about missing people - it ends up all over social media and before it even decides to find its next victim, its cover is blown, and a horde of people are trying to track the demon down. Maybe for a night of passion, maybe to hunt and capture it for testing or imprisonment? Maybe just to destroy it?

No... that simply will not do. The demon needs to be covert and hide in plain sight, disguise itself as one of the humans, walk among them to find and stalk its next target without the spotlight. The demon is trying to survive and remain undetected but inevitably... there are always clues and traces that raise suspicions. How long can the demon stay hidden for? What lengths will it go to remain hidden and survive? And what happens when those suspicions result in raised alarms, when its trail is exposed and followed by a hunter?
[/SIZE][/JUSTIFY]
[/slide][/tabs]
Is this the only way to make it?
 
Is this the only way to make it?
make what? the tabs? yeah, pretty much. but you can change the size of the tab, and put in more sliders if you want.

feel free to pm me if you want any help!
 
make what? the tabs? yeah, pretty much. but you can change the size of the tab, and put in more sliders if you want.

feel free to pm me if you want any help!
I'm starting getting the hang of it although still a little bit messy, I might come for you for help :coffee:
 
I'm starting getting the hang of it although still a little bit messy, I might come for you for help :coffee:
pls do! you can format the headers as you please too. i just made them very simple in the example. my inbox is always open ☺️
 
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