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Last Movie You Saw...

My new obsession: Michael Fassbender. Marathoning his movies today.

First on the list: X-Men First Class

For a prequel of the other films, it was very good. Formulaic, campy, actiony, CGI fun. I really only watched it for Fassy but I enjoyed everyone else as well. Except Lawrence. The way she looked in full Mystique form was like how cheap barbie dolls look - you know, when they have a bob cut but the hair plugs kinda fan out too big around the neck and shoulders? Really bad wig. Just, really bad wig. I was a bit disoriented by Fassbender's accent, though. Like, whoa... Not British... I don't know you! The "shoot me in the head point blank" scene was everything I was led to believe it was. <3 otp
 
Next on the list...
Okay, I got sidetracked by Charlie Day and went for Pacific Rim.

Already I can tell this is gonna be a good one. I have a major hardon for Big Robots fighting extradimensional giant monsters ever since EVA. I need more books and novels written about this. Screw zombie apocalypses. Fuck dystopians with dictator governments. Kaiju, please. I love this. It's about the people but there's plenty of big battles and the monster noises give me chills - I've loved that semi-mechanical synthesized crap ever since the first Jurassic Park. And how does Charlie Day steal the show? Seriously, and Ron fucking Perlman. They're secondary characters and yet I am insanely insterested in what they're doing and what they've got going on. Charismatic bastards.
 
Centurion

It was... basically that Clive Owen vehicle, King Arthur, except with Michael Fassbender. Literally. Everything about it was the same. Roman soldiers in Britain trying to take things over but it's not going so good because of the native Brit tribal people. The mysterious witch-like gal with dark brown hair who journeys with the roman soldiers and later paints blue lines on herself for battle or whatever. The Roman legion cut down to just a few soldiers, trying to journey back home. The small group of men that are left are total bros and it's cool and fun to see them together. There's the fat one that is jolly and loves to fight and it's sad when he dies. Seriously, everything was the same. Although I did enjoy seeing Fassy get beat up and bloody, running around half naked in the beginning.
 
Blood Creek

Really weird and convoluted plot but entertaining at least. I feel like I just watched two hours of Michael Fassbender running around a farmhouse set. The best part was the zombie horse. Seriously, that is one of my true to God nightmare wraiths - an insane, creepy horse that eats people.
 
Next on the list, Eden Lake.

Holy Christ. This really hits home to a very real fear of mine. The unrelenting cruelty of humanity at it's worst - the irrational, apathetic, consuming rage and desire for destruction and pain. I'm just cringing all over the place with this film.
 
X-men : The Last Stand
 
Shame

I...I don't even really know what that was. I think I just watched Michael Fassbender pick up women, sex them, and strut around naked for an hour and a half. And wear suits. And maybe there was something about this other woman, they were related and she tried to suicide and something going on with that? I dunno. Fassy dong. His shoulder to hip ratio is outrageous.
 
Counselor

Another one of those where I didn't feel like there was a coherent story knitting anything together. It was just a bunch of scenes where big name actors played cryptic characters who told each other allegories. Something something... drugs and a truck. I almost finished it but did not.
 
Maleficent. It was okay, with the standout parts being Angelina Jolie doing Maleficent-esque things. Don't go into this one excepting her to be a gothic/dark badass throughout.
 
100 Ways to Die In the West.

Eh. Had just a very few funny moments, unfortunately. A lot of fart and in your face-trying-too-hard jokes. Sarah Silverman stole the show. Liam Neeson was good, bless him. I enjoy Seth MacFarlane, but as an actor in this movie? No way. He tried too hard, and I actually appreciated him - in this movie - when he was actually sincere.
 
How to train your dragon 2. A great movie, but few sad moments.
 
X-Men: Days of Future Past

Holy!!!! I love everything about this movie! Not only was Lawrence's hair better - and not so "wiggy" - but the writing and everything was so much better than the first movie. And the casting was phenomenal. I loved the part with the Quicksilver the best - Jesus, I was so sad when they didn't take him with them. And just everything else with the time traveling and the fights and stuff blew my mind! It's been a while since I'd seen any ofn the original X-men trilogy though, so, it was hard to remember stuff that had happened or was supposed to have happened in the main timeline, in Wolverine's timeline and yadda yadda. But it was great! I wouldn't own any of the other X-men movies aside from the very first 1990's one.... and now this one.
 
Yes Man

I love that movie, it's so hilarious! But it's a little bit sad when you think about it...it's based on a true story that happened to someone who wrote a book about his experiences of saying yes to everything.
 
Ender's Game

At first, I felt like things were kinda clipped and rushed, but the more the film went on, the more it seemed to flow better. I was very pleased with how well it followed the book and the portrayals of the technology and the battle school and everything. And the kid who played Ender was a natural. I mean, there was of course that sense of distance where "this kid is really smart and a little too good/perfect" that I got while reading the book. And at the same time, the ending where you realize he is just a boy and you empathize so completely with what has happened to him - also the feeling I got while reading the book. Excellent movie but probably not one that I'd ever watch again, you know?
 
Maleficent

Eh. Seemed like a very trite and cliche vehicle to show that Angelina Jolie's still got it and is still relevant. Seriously, everything from the storyline of badass and betrayed hero turning villianess right down to the "fast forward through everything emotional or the least bit cohesive about any story anywhere narration". Oh, poor Angie, treated so horribly. Yeah! Now you guys gonna get it! She mad! She pissed! Blah blah blah blah blah... jesus, yes, you're so brave for being a breast cancer survivor, we get it.

I always thought it was an overreaction for King Stefan to burn all the spinning wheels in his kingdom. They either spent a LOT on bringing premade clothing into the kingdom for 16 freaking years or.... "And then King Stefan made the biggest nudist colony there ever was."
 
Identity Thief.

It had its funny moments, cheesy moments too. The ending was sweet. I did find parts of it dull though. Overall good movie; not the best movie ever, but I'd still suggest watching it.
 
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