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The Lady Doth Bitch Too Much (Athene's RL Journal, Comments Welcome)


20th September, 2017

Game finally ended a few nights ago. We lost. I'm not irked about the verdict, per se. But what I am annoyed at is the newest co-captain just didn't do her job very well. Hell, it was the very first time she was on the Slytherin team [namely because she used to be in Hufflepuff but transferred]. It just feels like someone who actually had experience should have been chosen. Point is, they weren't around nearly as much as they should have been. They should have known that no matter where they live, they would have been needed pretty often.

And because they didn't give it their all, they failed to be around to often edit, give strategy tips, etc. out. And it really did cost us in the end.

-.-

There's a certain amount of irony that comes in not being able to work; you find it [well, I do anyway] easy to criticize how horrible others are.

Soo .... I went with my parents yesterday to the SSA office in hopes of getting a more fair answer. They admitted I had been underpaid and informed me I was up for a re-evaluation. So I have a phone interview Friday with, hopefully, someone who will get this shit straightened out. Because, I do get their points. I'm married so yes, Vein's wages count as part of my income and whatever. But ... ugh. Know what you're fucking doing.

This proves they aren't, but are at least willing to make up for the fuck-up. x.x

With everything having slowed down, I'm finally seeing about getting back to the RPs here. Thanks for the patience everyone!

Until next time,
-Athene

P.S. Quick addition right now; please let me know if you want to drop/quit any thread I have going on with any current partners! I do understand muses are fickle things. But please talk to me about it, especially after I return from brief hiatuses like this.

 

26th September, 2017

Wanted to give a quick update and apology to everyone. Long story short, my mood's been on the more negative side of the spectrum. And - if it hasn't been obvious enough yet - it's been killing my mood to even write.

Sighs

I really hate moments like this. Fuck, I do. But I've tried forcing myself to write. Never works out. So .... I'm trying to find ways to get out of this funk. Or hell, identifying what exactly is the source would work just as well. I can't promise when exactly I'll get back to anyone, but I promise I'll do my best to get replies in ASAP.

Until next time,
-Athene

 
I'm sorry you have been in a bad mood lately.

Don't despair too much, and when you do find a way out I will be around to chat when you feel you want or need someone to talk with.
 

5th October, 2017

So this technically happened ....

Raises eyebrow as checks cell phone

Not that long ago. Stupid thing. I'll guess last week sometime, or close to a week ago.

Long story short, my mom dropped a bomb that I can't ignore. She's been advocating for me to get my license, help me get new glasses, and overall be nice because, apparently, her and dad are still going to try to move. They're gonna put the house up on the market [supposedly] by the first of 2018.

They think they hate Oregon?

News flash, ya dumb bitch; me and my husband do too. Don't get me wrong, there are some pros about living here. Great scenery and really fucking good minimum wage. But of all the places I've resided, this is by far one of the locations where I've been the most miserable. Houston and St. Paul - a bit more the latter - are where I have been by far the happiest.

All the same, we're trying to make our stay here work out.

Before we gave our daughter over and officially began to power-of-attorney exchange, I very perfectly remember one specific vow they made with raising our kid. They'd give her consistency that, at the time, we couldn't provide.

Sooo .... how is this moving bullshit gonna help do just that?

It is true that I almost never stayed in one school for more than 2-3 years. But they were at least in the same fucking city. I didn't move across state lines ever. Not before graduating high school, when my dad decided to change his career and where to live. Before then? No. I stayed in Houston, Texas.

And I know my parents didn't like it at some points in time.

Yet despite that, they stayed and raised me and my brother as best as they could. Particularly during the "loss of maternal grandparents plus legal/emotional bullshit from my aunt/mom's sister" life arc.

Now with my daughter being 11 years old and, as my mom has repeatedly said, in a very "independent phase", this is by far the stupidest thing they could even be trying to do. More so given there is no thought about her for their move. It's all about them.

You know what?

I hope the next few years become such a living hell for you that you remember your vow. You know, the one that said power-of-attorney isn't permanent? Just temporary? And that we've finally fulfilled our end of the deal. According to mom, we're not "worthy enough" to have her back despite finally obtaining stable housing. So I pray you have as much trouble raising her as you did me. Because the exact same mistakes are being made, some even worse.

You can't keep her away from technology. Not fucking forever. Yes, it can be dangerous. But so can actual people in real fucking life. Dipshits; you all know this. You've seen perfect examples of what you're afraid of happen to me. Even if mom's forgotten, I highly doubt dad has.

Unfortunately, he's also been severely pussy whipped by her somehow. Fuck if I know when this happened or even how. Much as I love him, I can't stand his wife. It's horrible .. but I sincerely regret convincing them not to divorce. Clearly, they should have. Because he deserves way better. I don't even know what he saw her in; though it's likely the old version. The mom who actually did her role as a parent. Because as she is?

That side of her is long dead, replaced by a cruel, manipulative bitch.

And as long as she's gonna stay that way ....

Well, I guess I gotta cut her out of my life. Again.

There was a time years ago where I refused to talk with her. I don't really wanna resort to that again, but I'm ready to. There's only so much of her verbal, mental, psychological, and emotional abuse I can handle. All the times I ask myself how I'm sane end up with me finding it more and more challenging to come up with answers.

Thus, while I still have the chance and ability, I'm gonna do what's best for me.

Where's this going, you're probably wondering?

Well ... since she only helped me for her own agenda, I'm gonna do everything on my own. Without her aid. Which means I'll be busy. And due to recent letters from the government hinting it's not worth staying on SSI for much longer, this includes looking for a job. I'm making way less, it's not even worth a chuckle. I could be making three or more times than what they're fucking giving me.

I'm done being screwed over by anyone --- well, in the not-so-good way, anyway. And only one person can do that in the best manner, my husband.

So any other methods, nope. I'm putting my goddamn foot boot down on.

As far as writing goes, I still have no idea when that'll happen again. But I do promise to keep in touch. If anyone has Skype and/or Discord, those are by far the easiest ways to get a hold of me at the moment. Those usernames can be found in my request threads.

Until next time,
-Athene

 

9th October, 2017

Like I promised in my last entry, I worked my ass off in finding a job. I think I may have accomplished that, despite having an insanely long gap in my work history. It's with the same company my husband is working for, and I chose them for a very specific reason. Unlike a lot of other companies, they give work priority to people with disabilities.

Mind you, there probably are other organizations like this. If there are, though, I haven't heard of them before sooo ... excuse my slight ignorance I may or may not have accidentally included.

Aaaaanyway, I have orientation tomorrow and if this goes basically the same as when my husband went in, I should be working pretty soon. It'll likely be weekdays only, which is going to further cut my writing time.

As if having a picky muse wasn't bad enough Ugh. >.<

If this has been too long for any stories I'm doing at the moment, let me know. I won't be offended. I'd love to assume I'll be back and writing later this week, but I have no idea, unfortunately. And given I've been away for much longer than usual, I can understand if other muses have faded from my partners. Just be truthful; that's all I'll ask for.

Until next time,
-Athene

 

23rd October, 2017

I'm here, I promise. Exhausted as all hell with trying to get a job. Mostly well ... aside from still not fully having my writing muse back.

However, partly in an effort to regain that and also it simply being something I've wanted to do, I have something to show off! A site/blog!

It's by no means finished, nor perfect.

Still, everything I wanted to get up and included is live and can officially be found online!

The site is here.
The blog is here.

Feel free to give it a look over if you want. I will try to add this to my signature [not sure if I have enough room/characters to do that, though], but will definitely put it up in my search threads or somewhere you can re-find these.

Until next time,
-Athene

 

24th March, 2018

I just finished watching the #MarchForOurLives rally live.

God(s) above bless all those teens. And even the pre-teens that had enough courage to speak up, really, including Martin Luther King Jr.'s granddaughter.

Allow me to back track a bit, I suppose, and elaborate why tthis is a big deal for me personally.

Despite being fortunate enough to have avoided gun violence, there are a few facts about my upbringing that don't change I was at a high risk. Being raised in Houston, Texas - in a very gang-heavy area, to be more precise - made the dangers of being shot very real. And if that wasn't high enough, I was zoned/assigned tto a public high school where a lot of fights, with and without guns, were supposedly common.

In an effort to keep me safe [at least I can assume that was part of the equation], I was sent to private schools. Every single year.

As such, when Columbine happened, I was in a private school. I'll never forget that day. We learned about the tragedy during Current Events. It absolutely shocked me to learn another young man my age - 11 - could somehow take a gun with them and actually kill people at their school. The other culprit wasn't much older, only 13 at the time. In all honesty, I still can't understand to this day how a teen and pre-teen were able to go through with such dire actions.

Suffice to say, Columbine was my trigger against gun violence.

I may write some pretty gruesome stuff here and on other sites. Condoning it, though, is a whole different story.

And despite not having any personal experiences with being held at gun point ... my empathy has been especially kicking ino high gear since the last several major tragedies have occurred. So to finally see a brave, smart enough group gather so many other supporters and take the first of many steps towards reducing unnecessary and unjust deaths .... it's very hopeful. Refreshing. It makes up for having started on taking these sorts of precautions later than usual, as I firmly believe this sort of movement should have happened soon after Columbine.

Better later than never; how true that saying is, now more so than ever.

I actually made a thread about what people thought of gun control several years ago, under my first alias here.

I wouldn't even begin to change my opinion. If anything, the Parkland tragedy has strengthened my belief; we do need for these teenagers to be heard. To be heeded. And, if all else fails, for the politicians too greedy/stubborn to take them seriously to be voted out.

I've never been so proud of this country, nor any group of people residing here before. Sad, but true.

Still, for the first time in a long while, I see hope. I can actually envision my daughter being able to go to high school and not having to fret about being gunned down. And goddamn, does it feel good to not have to worry about that.

These teenagers will accomplish many great, amazing things. I can practically see and feel it.

#NeverAgain

Never give up, for anyone associated with the #MarchForOurLives movement. You absolutely deserve to make the changes in this country and help turn it into the nation it should be; a safer one.

Until next time,
-Athene

 
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