My Bakery~ Updates on RPs and a bit of Cynicism

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Nerdy rant...

You know what grinds my gears? How people whine "Merrrrrr elves and humans in MMOs are so lame. I don't see why they even have them. They're so plain and anyone who plays them lacks creativity."

Bitch please. Just because I don't want my character to look like a fucking buffalo or smeagol's cousin, it doesn't mean I lack creativity, I just don't want to look like I should be locked in a cellar and fed snickers bars. I probably got enough creativity to share with those elitist assholes.

And quite frankly, feral-esque races aren't all that creative either! They're almost ALWAYS tribal or Barbaric in nature and culture. ALWAYS. Why can't there be an aristocratic feral race? What's wrong with that? Do you always have to go for the under dogs? Is this the only way to have fun in a MMO?

Well guess what. My character in this game is a human, who was RAISED in NOBILITY. My character's best friend is a pompus ass who doesn't like to get dirty (but will make amusing jokes and fight nonetheless). You can tell me I am lacking creativity all you want, I'm having fun.

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

I HEREBY CALL FOR REDEFINING OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS:

Nerd
Geek
Dork

Seriously. The last... lets say about 7 years, the word nerd has been thrown around for purposes of vanity and most people's desire to be nonconformist, and present themselves with a functional labeling that makes them feel like and seem like an outsider. Nerds have always been outsiders, the underdogs, the ones who drew the short straw, the weirdos who prioritized intellect and accomplishment while their peers worried about other aspects of their life. Nowadays we have hipsters who wear vintage Pokemon shirts, thick framed glasses, watch Doctor Who (not hating on the show), and worship Apples products claiming they're better than PCs without knowing squat about them. Of course they're like "Lawl I'm such a nerd!"

This just in... THAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A NERD! You are wearing a costume and using British shows as a means of looking nerdy.

To me a nerd is...
Intellectually inclined in a certain subject(s)... be it in math, science, technology, history, literature (liking to read doesn't qualify as literature nerd), and/or excels all around academically.

To me a geek is...
Someone who indulges in fandoms, and typically sedentary hobbies (ie. video games, anime, Harry Potter, table top gaming, etc.)

To me a dork is...
Someone who is socially awkward and/or strange, possibly brought on by a long time label that is one or both of the above.

You can be any of the above in any combination, but they are not each other.

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Might take me a bit to get to replies on my RPs x.x not home and finding it hard to reply.

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

I sense a dry spell coming on. I'm losing my creative juices. It's nothing against anyone whom I'm roleplaying with currently, I just tend to get like this every couple of months. I gotta finish up some stuff for financial aid, and I got a trip coming up and I'm stressing out about both. Friends bug you to come visit but no one offers to give you a place to stay... been trying to simply sort that shit out for months. Now I gotta make a solid date, sort out meet up with friends, got a half assed reunion to plan, but I can't come to a conclusion with the person I'm planning it with... she wants to go all party, I want to be a bit more modest for those who now have work and families.

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

First rant about my trip...

In a few weeks I am going out of town to VA to visit some friends. I was supposed to be going back and forth between houses and where I was supposed to stay, but the situation at home for one of my friends became difficult so I am now only able to stay with one of my friends, Vicki.

SHE IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET IN CONTACT WITH!!! The girl has been bugging me to come visit, offers to let me stay with her, I'm sitting here trying to make a concrete date, I just need to know what days are good for her, and she won't answer meeeeee. Asked her on Facebook, she told me to text her, its easier to get in contact with her that way. I did, and she never answers my texts.

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Second rant...

Okay, seriously. If you wanted your friend to come visit you, especially in the near future, why the hell would you avoid or ignore them? This drives me insane. For Vicki, knowing my luck, she lost her phone or something. I am calling her tomorrow regardless. But onto my other friend, another friend who has been wanting me to come visit, Jessica.

I swear I think she's avoiding me on IMs lately. I know for a fact that she is online. I see her post on Facebook, Tumblr, etc. I was texting her a little about something with the trip when I decided to ask her if she could sign onto MSN/Windows Live. She told me she couldn't because it wasn't working for her. I asked her what was wrong with it. She said that it was trying to get her to download an update when she signs in, and that it tries to make her download extra stuff that she doesn't want, so she doesn't want to sign in.

They have not done any drastic updates lately (I'd know... I use the damn program), and even then, Windows Live always makes the extra stuff optional downloads that you can deselect and not download, that is unless it's necessary for the program to run.

So a few hours later, I saw that she was on Steam. I IM'd her and asked her how her instant messenger troubles were going and almost right after I sent the IM, her status on Steam was changed to Away.

God damn girl, I'm trying to talk to you about plans that we're making, its not like I'm spamming youtube videos to you or something. And if you don't want to talk about it, have some balls and speak up. Don't treat me like some gullible child who will believe whatever bullshit you feed me. I'd have NO problem staying home. I am only going because those two bugged me to come visit them and they swear they miss me.

But what the hell? When I message you asking you shit about our plans you better give me an answer, don't avoid me!

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Got another stress out of the way... got my prescriptions refilled. I was afraid the doctor would make me come in for that... but nope. Called this morning and they said the doctor approved it so I just have to wait a day for them to call it in.

Finally got a hold of my one friend... she's been working, and she said she just kept forgetting to text me back. I guess I will text her later tonight, I'd like to secure some plans.

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Man I had the freakiest dream last night. It felt so real and thank god is wasn't.

I had a dream I took a job working as a nanny for some family. It was a couple with about... 5 kids, ranging from teens to infants. The oldest, about 17, was a teenage girl, the youngest was a baby boy, the middle were 2 boys and a girl, all ranging from 4-7. The job said live-in so I thought I was simply going to be living with them as they paid me, and I'd have the freedom to come and go when I had time off.

I was terribly wrong. First of all, the people were religious nuts. Real christian fundamentalists. The people thought that since I lived with them that they essentially owned me. Seriously. They wouldn't let me leave. If I even attempted, they'd hold me down and let the 17 year old jab me in the arms with an exacto blade and then lock me in the babies room. Any time I misbehaved this was my punishment. The husband was the worst of all. Every time we were alone, he would make moves on me, and he wasn't subtle. I think this was in spite of me, or some sadistic hope of getting caught and seeing his wife pummel me for making a move on her husband.

My clearest part of the dream was a night when I decided I was going to try to make contact to the outside world. I didn't quite remember the address so I was subtly trying to look at their mail on the table to get the address. I wrote the address on the under-part of my wrist. But the daughter caught me... she didn't catch me writing it on my wrist, but she thought I was snooping and told her father. They did the routine... he held me down while she jabbed the blade into my arm 3 times. They then noticed the mother was home... either from work or from grocery shopping, but the daughter rushed out to her mom. The husband then grabbed me and started kissing me on the neck and rubbing his hands all over my body. I pulled away and rushed to the babies room where all of the younger kids were watching a movie. He wasn't caught by his wife, and I figured he wouldn't display such behavior.

The wife came in to check on the kids. I had a blanket wrapped up around me. I had my cellphone with me, but her husband had taken away my charger and it was about to die, so I only had one chance. I texted the address to my boyfriend and added. "Call the police. Tell my mom." And that was it.

Some time later it began to storm badly. It was almost like a hurricane. The house was in chaos as they prepared for the storm and at one point I noticed someone left the door open. So... I booked it. Darted out the door and didn't look back. Down the road I ran into my friend Anthony who was walking back to work from lunch. His greeting was casual but noticed my urgency when I said I needed to get away from those people quick. He then lead me to his work place to hide. Unfortunately, his boss was a friend of my "boss". So he took me to his car to hide. Ended with his handing me his cellphone to use to make calls.

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Heading to Virginia today! Traveling by train

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Have fun!

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Thanks I had fun.

Anywho, this post is about a list I am compiling together to present to a certain someone about a certain someone whom I do not like.

Reasons I don't like Josh:
(Disclaimer. These are OPINIONS. Just because they don't bug you, doesn't mean they can't bug me)

1) His voice. He has the stereotypical redneck voice. It's amusing at first, but I think if I had to live with him, I'd end up finding a way to rid him of his vocal cords. Or find a way to give him perpetual laryngitis.

2) His language and word choices. Your mom and your aunt don't even like this and they don't know him. But it is true, his vocabulary and language has the sophistication of a crackwhore. Seriously, things are either "Bitchin'" or "Fucking retarded". He swears with every frickin' sentence, and he doesn't know how to not scream into his mic. He obviously never learned IN DOOR VOICES.

3) How ungrateful he is to his family. I can't count how many times he has sat and bitched about his family, when they obviously ask nothing in return, not even chores (seriously, what the fuck does he do around his house besides letting his dogs outside??? I've never seen him say 'brb need to do dishes'), when all he does is sleep all day, and play games all night. His parents are on fucking food stamps, and they had to use a credit card to buy him a computer because the brat wouldn't take no for an answer and accept that his family just can't afford it! To quote him word for word, I remember when he said this: "I keep telling them I need a new computer, but they keep saying 'not right now, not right now, we just don't have the money' well where the hell is the money going???" NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS, THAT'S WHERE! It's their income, not his!

4) How he constantly talks about this stupid supposed super-epic taboo webcomic that he's going to be making with furry porn, and even other sexual taboos with in-depth lore and story (which if you ask me, sounds like a rather chaotic and poorly drawn out story), BUT HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING ABOUT IT! What is stopping him??? Grab some paper and pencil and GO!

5) How he uses this 'stomach problem' as a crutch for doing anything productive that may make him a productive member of society. If you can sit on your ass all night, playing video games and screaming over vent, you can sit your ass in a classroom for 2 hours a day. Not that hard.

6) How he flaunts his huge porn collection and furry porn. I don't mind furries, and I get that people like porn even though I don't, but I don't want to SEE what he has and I think it is disgusting how he links furry porn as often as he does. HE SENT ME CORGI FURRY PORN! That pissed me off to no end. That is fucking disgusting and wrong on so many levels if you ask me. That's like sending someone lolicon because they said they want to have kids one day.

I'm sure he wants to compensate for his virginity, but god damn.

7) He bitches and whines sooooooooo much. When we all left WoW, god damn, it was like he was going through a bad break up. And how every time he reads an article, he acts like he's the first person to come to the realization that there are unjust things going on in the world. And he bitches like we're debating him about it or like we're completely ignorant to what he is talking about.

8) Aurora, pacifically. Enough said.

9) Long hair down to his ass, and lack of teeth. It reflects upon his personal hygiene.

10) How self-entitled he is.

11) How you two are so fucking inseparable online it is ridiculous. We can't even have SEX without him interrupting us! Do you know how much of a turn off that is?

I often feel like I am the third wheel and you two are the ones in the relationship. Sadly sometimes I do question whether he means more to you than I do.

The only game we have to play together online is Trine 2 and that is only because Josh doesn't own it. Anytime there is an online game... there he is! Don't even need to ask. Where one of you are, there is the other. Which makes gaming with you miserable nowadays because I can't even stand the sound of his voice. Just hearing his voice or hearing his name puts me in an irritable mood.

I've known Jessica almost 10 years now. We are both online gamers and we don't even revolve our online lives around each other that much!

Things I like about Josh:

Link

No wait, I like how he provides me with laughter because of how ridiculous of a person he is. I have never disliked someone who wasn't an ex this much.

RE: My Bakery~ serving fresh muffins daily

Adding this here as it MIGHT pertain to a return to the site.

You know what I hate about going on vacation? That post-vacation funk, or depression as I don't really like to put it, that you get when you get back home. I got to return to the place I call home, I got to hang out with many friends whom I love and miss and never get to see, I got to do stuff, nothing too exciting, just what we'd typically do when I used to live there, and it reminded me of what my social life used to be like x.x I don't really have any friends here where I live (Michigan), so I don't get out much.

I also escape the chaos of my house and family. While I love them, they are much too loud for me and the house is too crowded for my liking. So I return to that as well, and it just puts me in a bad mood.

I've been a big grump lately and I haven't had much drive to do anything. When I got back home, I did nearly everything I could think of besides sitting on my ass at my computer. I ran out of things to do pretty quick. I even deep cleansed my closet. I donated 2 trash bags full of clothing and shoes and a whole box of old stuff that isn't worth donating or keeping.

But my mood has been improving, so I think I am reaching the end of my funk.

Had a bad day.

Can never get a break from this financial aid shit.

This stuff is really starting to stress me out. I am a very good student, and I work hard, and I understand that yes, I am an adult, and yes, I have to take charge of my responsibilities and take any consequences I face if I fail to keep up those responsibilities, but this... I don't know...

It was Monday morning, 8 AM, and I was in my graphic design class. As our assignment, we had to take specific photos, shop them so that they were nicely contrasting, and then draw a black and white image over a few of them. We were working in Illustrator, this was our first assignment, and as far as the teacher is concerned, many of the students time working in Illustrator. It was mine, but I am familiar with photoshop and other image editing programs, so it hasn't been impossible to grasp.

I was trying to draw over my image, and I wanted to use my preferred method of drawing, using the caligraphy tool (basically, just freehand trace it since I do draw on the computer a lot). But with most drawing tools, the program would give me the circle and slash symbol telling me "No, you can't do that."

I checked to see if I was in the correct layer. Was I in a template layer? Was my layer locked? Nope, all was clear, so I asked the substitute (oh yeah, major detail, our teacher wasn't in that day, so another graphic design teacher was subbing).

Me: Could I get some assistance please? I'm trying to color over this image, but every tool I try to use to color the image isn't working.

*I proceed to show her*

Her: Well you're not supposed to be using those tools anyways (not true). You're supposed to be using the line tool (we CAN use it, but we're not SUPPOSED to).

Me: The line tool isn't working right for me, some of these curves are too close together and it fills in automatically in the wrong spots and then I can't see the image to correct it, so I wanted to just color the image in by hand, I'm used to that. (If you don't know illustrator, it'd be hard to describe)

Her: Well you're not supposed to be doing that. You were told to use the line tool (not true!).

Me: I recall him saying that we could use any method we saw fit, just as long as we got it done.

Her: Well you're a grown up. You know what is expected of you and you're expected to get it done.

I never got help that day. So I emailed my teacher right after class and explained what happened. I told him that I had asked for help, but I don't think she quite understood what I was trying to ask (trying to be nice...). I explained my issue in the program and asked for extra time in class to work, or even after class since I wasn't able to get the help I was asking for in class, and I have limited time to work in the computer lab. I got no reply.

Wednesday at the beginning of class, I asked him if he got my email. He said yes, and I found this completely rude:

"Do you think I would leave my class in the hands of someone who didn't know what they were doing? When I assign you something I expect it to be turned in on time no matter what. It is your job to make sure it gets done."

Urgh!! Am I just bad at explaining things? I COULDN'T get it done! My final product would've looked like I let a 3 year old do it with the way I was supposed to be working on it.

I then explained that despite my question, she kept insisting I use the pline tool when I wanted to use the calligraphy too.

Him: Well when that happens, that means you had your layer locked.

Me: I did check, none of my layers were locked.

Him: Were you working on a template?

Me: Nope.

Him: Were you even in the right layer?

Me: Yes, I am an avid layer checkers (because I draw my drawings by layers, its habit).

Him: Well if it happens again, let me know.

And of course, that day, the tools were all working for me. So I had to do 2 days worth of work in one day. Then I completely forgot that to turn our work in, we had to mount our work on boards and print, which cost money. I wasn't sure if I had enough money to do all of that. I had to do an IOU because I was 20 cents short -.- And then when I was cutting my board, the damn exacto knife decided to go in the wrong direction and magically slide under my barrier somehow...

Wasn't a good day yesterday.

No idea what is going on with me. I just lack the drive to do anything. I'm not exhausted, I'm just tired. I get home from class, and I just want to sit on the computer all night. And even then, when I'm on the computer, I hardly do anything! I mostly sit on Tumblr, pop into other sites, like this one, aimlessly, and that is it. I haven't signed into Guild Wars 2 for a week now. It took me an hour just to get my ass up and walk across my room to grab my flash drive. I feel so lazy and I hate it.

My boyfriend definitely lost points of masculinity...

Next weekend we're going to a convention. And not far from the convention is greektown. I love greek food, and there is a bakery there with cute sweets. I hardly ever get to go there, so I asked him if he'd come with me to greektown (I don't want to walk around alone). He just kept saying "No. It scary", and at first I thought he was joking, but then I finally asked him if he was just joking, and he admitted he wasn't, and said that he doesn't trust the city.

I even went onto google maps and showed him how short the walk would be. I just don't want to make the walk alone. Still, he resisted.

I told another friend of mine how my boyfriend was asking, and I didn't even need to ask that guy if he'd escort me instead, he just offered with little hesitation. This friend gets 5 points to chivalry.

I feel so silly crying over this, but I feel like I officially lost a friend for good today. As in I will never see or hear from him again. It's almost like he's dead and I don't even know if he is alive.

Years ago, when I was playing WoW, I had an online friend named Paul. He was in his 40s. A married man with kids, I remember he was IT at a school in England.

I only knew him about 2 years tops, but he was a really nice person. He was the most patient player I had ever met. He and I once ran a kid through Oculus. The kid was a level 80 warrior, tank built, and it was his first time playing a level 80, and his first time tanking as he had actually bought his character. Somehow, he and I managed to instruct him through the entire dungeon with little casualty.

Eventually, I had to quit WoW because I couldn't afford it anymore. Did I mention Paul was my guild master? This guild was the very first guild I ever joined. It was filled with family men--- guys who were married with kids who all used WoW as a little escape. It was like being in a guild filled with big brothers and uncles.

I began to miss them, so I made a pathetic attempt to get a trial and sign on to say hi. Thanks to Blizzard, I pretty much couldn't talk at all. I made a troll, ran to Orgrimmar, and wandered around looking for someone. I found Paul! I followed him, waving, spamming emotes, but I guess he didn't see. I late messages him on Facebook and told him of my little stunt lol.

After that, our guild fell apart and he joined a raiding guild. He told me through Facebook that he had decided to quit WoW because all he had left in the game was raiding and he couldn't stand the elitist attitude that many players did indeed have.

I'd IM him on occasion. I'd comment on his stuff on Facebook, he'd comment on mine. But then one day, he just disappeared off of Facebook. His account was deactivated, and he never signed into MSN again, which he usually did on occasion.

It's worried me deeply since then. I can only pray he decided to separate himself from his online life.

I could only suffice in the fact that I had his email. I could email him and ask how he's been doing.

I tried that today.

I got an email back saying this email didn't exist

Is it really that bad to have some skepticism and to give tough love?

Last week, my friends and I had a scare because another friend of ours made a post on Tumblr insinuating she was going to commit suicide. Now let me explain something... she has done this multiple times. Or well. She likes to be very public about how suicidal she is. The last incident we had, she claimed she called a suicide hotline and the guy on the line told her that yeah, her life does suck and she should get it over with.

I immediately called BS.

1. Those calls are monitored for caller protection.
2. It's ILLEGAL.

Another friend of mine, a mutual friend with this suicidal friend of mine, immediately came to me and told me that our friend needed our help and support. I was honest and told her I honestly felt it was bullshit. I honestly didn't believe that actually happened, and I'm sure it was just a stunt for attention.

She got pissed at my lack of support for our friend and told me she couldn't believe I was going to believe some asshole from a suicide hotline over my friend. Um, yeah, I am. I have been friends with quite a few liars in my day and I have seen many girls pull extreme stunts all for the sake of gaining attention or sympathy.

Same thing happened last week. Friend came to me and told me our friend needed our support and help. Again, I told her I think she was just whining for attention and sympathy. My friend is blindly loyal to people, and I admire it, but at the same time... she ends up wasting too many tears and stresses out over friends when in the end... there was nothing to worry about; That is what pisses me off to no end. These people use something that's tragic and a very real thing in the world to scare their friends and make them worry sick over them, when in reality, they probably weren't even planning on it in the first place. It is taking complete advantage of those who care about you, and it is utterly deceptive.

Again, my friend got mad and told me I don't understand what it's like to go through depression. I'm sorry, but let me tell everyone in the world who suffers from depression something they apparently do not realize... EVERYONE HAS SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION! YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE! It's a part of life. Sure, not everyone's depression is chemical depression, thus the bouts may not last as long and it isn't as susceptible to coming back once the person has gotten through it, but depression is depression whether it's chemical or brought on by real world issues. So before people go using that excuse "You don't know what it feels like!" I can almost guarantee you that 90% of the people around you have gone through bouts of depression, and most of us make it through just fine.

So depression is NEVER an excuse to abuse false suicidal tendencies. I mean seriously, to quote my friend, "...and after work tonight, I'm ending this shit for good." and her hashtag was #shutupforever.

Why after work? Most people who want to kill themselves just do it or they plan silently so no one can stop them. Many of the people I know who have genuinely attempted had done it spur the moment. Most showed no sign. She supposedly wanted to kill herself and just get it over with, but apparently she had to go to work first...

I honestly lack sympathy for people who pull shit like this. I've seen far too many people pull this crap before. My high school best friend pulled this shit countless times and even threw me under the bus for her own benefit on more than one occasion. I'm done with people who do this.

Of course I pissed me friend off for having this mentality, but oh well. I'd rather have some skepticism than to naively believe every word my friends tell me. Just because I think someone is BSing me, doesn't mean I'm going to call them out on it, I'm just not going to shower them in cuddles and love like they're expecting me to.

If you want support from friends, then fucking ask for it. Don't sit there and lie and try to fish for attention and sympathy.

Which bring me to my final point. A SWELL example of what I'm talking about.

Earlier this week on Tumblr, there was a post going around that some girl made in honor of her friend (Jackie) who had committed suicide. She told an anger filled story about the girl. She was an active cosplayer and was dating some guy, a fellow cosplayer. He ended up cheating on her with some girl and broke up with her for the girl he cheated on her with. After that, the guy and his new girlfriend started picking on her and harassing her, calling her ugly, fat, and recruited others to bully her. She couldn't go to cons without getting bullied. The harassment only continued online. She eventually deleted all of her online accounts but left one final note telling people she couldn't handle it anymore. And... she killed herself. Attached was a picture of the girl on her webcam with glossy eyes.

People on Tumblr were disgusted and reached out, showing praise and support for this poor lost soul. In their posts, they'd say stuff like "She wasn't ugly. She was beautiful, inside and out! And because of some people's heartless bullying, someone is dead!"

Surprise surprise... it was fake. It was ALL BS. Now, Jackie did indeed exist. She did not delete all of her online accounts... this was how it was proven to be fake. She created a fake alias on Tumblr, posing as a friend of hers, and wrote a fake memorial post in her honor. But, she was alive and well, and there was no evident bullying on any of her online profiles (after it was publicly revealed to be fake, people even urged people to NOT harass her for her stunt for obvious reasons).

How many people shed tears over this? How many people's blood boiled as they read the tragic story of Jackie, a girl who killed herself? How many rushed to spread the news and the story to share the horrible reality of bullying?

And in the end, the girl was alive and fine.

That is UTTERLY despicable. You NEVER FUCKING JOKE about suicide! It's a REAL thing that people endure everyday, be it the deceased, or their loved ones. If you're thinking of harming yourself, you need to seek help IMMEDIATELY, you don't fucking advertise it on the internet like some threat or guilt trip. Do these people have any idea how distressing it is for those around them to have to read and listen to that??

AMEN!

Haha, glad to see someone actually agrees on some of my points. I did all I could and I did report my friend to Tumblr and Facebook for her threats of suicide. And I will do that every time she does it... but I am just getting tired of people who do this, or stuff like this... and I'm not trying to stereotype but everyone I know who does this is a girl!

It's like these girls feel that their only way to get support, sympathy, attention, and love is to pull the damsel in distress card.