Just Correct: Me, plain and simple

The past twelve days have been very brisk and busy, and that is the simple reason why this post here has been late. There really isn't anything overly intense that has been happening in my life, but then I also don't share nearly as much as one might think. I try not to do to much of that, as I grew up around that. It is that old Southern "no one's business" way of thinking, I suppose. But I also know that things happening with me are not always interesting, so I let them lie like a sleeping dog.

The Fourth of July is not too far off, and that is something that I am celebrating soon, just like everyone else, and I just would like to say that I hope everyone's plans for it are going to be good. Not much going to happen here with me and mine, but my baby and I are going to have a simple old fashioned BBQ out in our back yard. Our families decided on that to be a perfect first time having a holiday together, and I have about thirty pounds each of steaks, chicken, brats, and pork butt roast that will eventually be pulled pork sandwiches. Everyone will be bringing a side or a dessert (which is great as my niece makes a mixed berry cobbler that will make one melt into a puddle of ooze it is so good), and I am really hoping that everything will come off without a hitch.

Well, two days till a great 4th of July celebration, and I think that good things have been happening. I just can hardly wait till it gets here and everyone will be having fun, and also enjoying the meaning of this great holiday coming up. I have had to borrow two other grills so that the BBQ-ing will not have to stop, and my baby and my best friend here will be helping with the cooking. My neighbors also are going to help and come over as well, and I am just having a swell time planning it after the last year of getting tied in knots.

A very good highlight has been that I, my niece, and nephew are all still enjoying our classes we are taking, and yours truly has really enjoyed learning what all those ballet terms and positions are. It has also made the riding lessons easier as I am much more flexible and loose in the hips as well. (my fiance just read that and is laughing at me for saying it, but it is true.) This is, really, shaping up to be a hell of a good summer.

Today is Bastille Day, the day when the French Revolution started. I have to say that today was very liberating all on its own just for being a fun day. It is hard to put into words, but it was just a day that gelled. My baby and I had the niece and nephew for the weekend starting on Thursday, and we are really getting into the reality that we may even pull off parenting ourselves. I am still nervous about that, but then who isn't that has reached that first time as a parent?

Today's a bit weird, so I have merely an observation:

If you cannot vote on someone's rights in this great nation of ours, how is it that at least 9 Amendments to the United States Constitution either say we can, or are ratified votes on either removing or bestowing rights???? Just a thought...

I had a lot of issues while not posting to my journal, not the least of which was that my baby had a time of it. The long and short was that we were both happy then intensely sad and it made me not want to talk about things. I don't think I should have to explain anything, as there is only one thing that could make a couple who love each other intensely joyous only for it to suddenly turn intensely sad and make someone not want to take about one's day to day life on a Journal thread on a board like this.

I am back, my absence caused by my allergies, then my sinuses... and then my sinuses evolving into a case of sinusitis. Not fun at all.... and I didn't enjoy the procedure either.

Today, I kind of got fed up. And I have reason. I read this article, and I REALLY think it not only sums up marriage situation, but rather also the situation in every relationship one can have. The reason this article got me fed up is because my mother, fiance, niece, sister. BIL, and just about every good friend and close family member gets what I mean about it talking also about other relationships except two people.. my soon to be brother-in-law and an ex-client. All one has to do is adjust for it being about a relative or other relationship, and you can see what they are so clueless on.


http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-surprising-things-wives-know-husbands-175700556.html

After illnesses, I lost three people who mattered a lot to me. One was an author I have come to respect, admire, and see as a friend. The second was a woman who was like a second mother to me. The third was a close personal friend who was going to be the matron of honor at my wedding. All within the last month. Had all the drama of my own this month, so that is the reason why I am just now posting on this journal.

Today was a very intense thing for me... as was the last couple of weeks. I have really gotten to the point were I just don't care about people's issues that are only founded on their own perceptions. I have just stopped censoring myself, and it really is something of a weight off the shoulders. There is nothing superior or special about it, it is just that I no longer have been letting certain social, ethnic, political, and religious (or lack of religious) sensibilities affect me.

The reason for this is that, both in real life and online, I have encountered far too many people that never like to deal with truth or reality. It is not that I expect everyone to adhere to how my life goes, rather that I have learned from experience that there are always going to be people who are stupid, full of shit, fucking nuts, or are all three at the same time, and those who are in the other 2/5 (and that is a generous portion to guesstimate, I assure...) either have to deal with them or grin and bear it and be polite.

I stopped doing that, as there is a time when polite needs to stop. I either speak my mind, just leave, or do both. I don't give people the opportunity to defend a nonexistent argument any longer. It is not worth it. My time and life are too important to waste it on those who are either terminally senseless, pompously inflated, bitchslap-worthy insane... those of the "enlightened educated elite" who are all three rolled into one.

I really it has been close to a month since the last time I posted on here. I have had a lot to do, and I have also had a lot of people support me in life, so I have been busy. There will be updates, but right now I am in the zone of happiness with just about everything in life. Contentment is a beautiful thing that some people really need to try.

By the way.. that Far Side that Larson drew showing God putting jerks into the world to just make life interesting.. it is true.

To lose is to win, and the one who wins shall lose.

I really having known what to put here, as sometimes I don't think my life is that damn interesting. I think that is the point, as we all try to come up with ways to make things in our loves seem overly dramatic, when in reality they are not. I am not dissing anyone, as we all go through things that seem big when they happen. I am just trying to keep perspective, as life has to go on after things are done. I will say this though, I have come to accept there is no such thing as "out of the blue" or "blindsided". One always has a way of seeing things, even when one doesn't want to admit they did, and that can be both good and bad. Soon, my family and I, as well as my baby and hers, will be celebrating Christmas together, so we are going to put all that has happened in the last year to bed and begin anew, just like old Scrooge did and I hope all others will do as well.

Both Hanukkah and the Solstice are past, and soon both Christmas and Kwanzaa will be here. I am glad for that, as I love this time of year, and wish all a Happy Holidays. I love and cherish so many in my life, even those who get mad and stay mad at me. That is what is so great about this time of year, as one can love and let go.

My baby and I have duck, chicken, lamb, and venison as the meats, as well as plenty of veggies, stuffing, etc. We are going to get to have a full house, and I am so excited as she and I get to cook together. She told me that was one of the things that showed me we are perfect together, is that I knew how to make quiche and souffle. Anyone know what that means? lol

Anyway. Happy Holidays to all.

Today's journal entry is on the subject of role-playing in a group when you have a GM/DM/NARRATOR/STORYTELLER/ETC. This is one of the few times I am blatant about things.. and also a bit of my snarky but always true sense of humor...


The explanation of why a group of gamers may show nothing but disrespect to the person running the game... especially those with an overinflated sense of worth..



http://22.imagebam.com/download/uTQ4i_BgZbah8Gruql0J2g/15629/156287335/motivator7dddc07ecfc460e14cdedc7cc68a854f41038222.jpg




http://55.imagebam.com/download/-1AL-80Cy7T3hH5CodZCHA/15629/156287332/motivatorc99dc5968f51c8f842e1a86f1e22cbc06501c4b9.jpg

I really screwed up the best friendship I ever had, and I have only myself to blame for it. That person will most likely never talk to me again, and it was for the stupidest reason/excuse there is. I was afraid that person was getting too close, and I didn't want to seem like I needed anyone. It is that simple, and because of it I also pushed away some others who really wanted to be my friends and of course now that I did that there most likely is no reversing that either.

All I really can do is say that I apologize for that. I also have to really weight if this journal is going to continue as well, seeing that I just don't know if I have reason for continuing it. I don't even know who reads it or why, but I feel that those who seem to be need to know that until I really get that straightened out in my head and heart, it at least will be a while.

I may start writing in here more regularly, I may not. Some things that just hit like a train have to do with many issues that just don't belong on a board like this. One thing is for certain. The people who know and understand will never be forgotten. More update at a later time.

I just thought of something very insane.. even for me. I noticed how many people had read my sixty-something posts, and it just struck me.

I would like to answer a question from anyone who reads my posts. As long as it is a legitimate question, I will answer it honestly.

No tricks.. no bull. I am totally serious. If it is a simple yes or no, you will get that answer, but I really am curious as to what someone would ask. Some would think that is not a Journal entry, but considering we put the answers to questions we ask ourselves.. why not?

Well, after being away, living my life for six months, I have my answer. But that is perfectly fine.

In the time I have been away, I have been living my life, and getting a consultation from a doctor for a surgical procedure that I am planning on getting done before the end of the year. It is going to improve my life, help me with my diabetic condition, and allow me much more freedom as well.


That is really all I have to post now. I will give specifics when I get them myself.

File today's long overdue rant under "What the???"

I should have known better, but I attempted to embark on a role-play on another board with someone I had been burned by in the past.. someone who had allowed baggage from the real world to ruin more than a few role-plays. Now, honestly, I really don't care if she ever finds a good role-play partner. I have the slowest burn fuse of anyone most people will meet most of the time, but right now, the fuse is gone. If somehow she reads this, my advice is be like the inspiration for Carly Simon's song "You're So Vain": just let people assume you are a bitch and not reveal it so they can see for themselves.

Now the thrust of the point and expounding upon it.

IF YOU CANNOT DIVORCE YOUR PERSONAL BAGGAGE FROM HOW YOU ROLE-PLAY WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS ROLE-PLAYING PERIOD!!

The above is not just about sex or relationships of any kind, as I have never not played with that female without immediately sensing that she has baggage from every relationship with every male in her life coming along for the ride. There are men who do it too, and if you cannot do it, you don't need to role-play at all. If you cannot leave it out of the session, you need too much help dealing with real life and fantasy isn't going to help you.

That is done, and people can now go back to feeling I am an asshole for speaking what others probably have said that I just wrote. Truth is defense against libel and being insulted just for being honest.

---

Oh.. a happy to quote about.

I have lost almost 40 pounds. WOOT!!

I am amazed by how people will screw up what is working for someone else.

I had to dry out from it in order to post about it, but here it is. There are always people who, even if it is a horribly bad idea, that will screw with something that is working for someone else when it comes to their health and well being.

It has been a while since I posted here. The short and simple explanation for that is that real life has been so much more of a ride, that this had to wait till I had time. No one's fault, just the simple reality.

Now, about all of what has happened in the last six months that had me away. Did some traveling, hung out with my friends and family, and kept my list of things I want to do going and been checking them off. I wasn't off brooding or being filled with angst, rather I was having fun and dealing with life. It has been a gas.

It is very possible to have a life and also to write role-plays and stories expressing the things that we do on this board. It is very realistic to put things on here that used to weigh you down into a character and just let it be on here instead of in your life. The simple truth is.. you have to want to. You have to want it to be left here and not always popping up into your real world.

You got to want to live your life instead of letting something (or someone) else run it.