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☜ ♥ ☞

Re: ☜ ♥ ☞ ~ Kitty ♱ Dreams ~ ☠

  • Indeed~ Probably blurry because I'm jittery on coffee atm - (YES MM, ASS TO MOUTH) - no biggy though, since BF will be taking the pics from now on. He got his Nikon D5000 recently o3o -hopes that means he'll want to get out more often- >.>[/list:u]
 
Re: ☜ ♥ ☞ ~ Kitty ♱ Dreams ~ ☠

>8U Not my fault I think of it now that you've installed it into me! -UNFs-

= Mini Update =

Eh, yeah, not really that perky these days. The stress of my so called 'diet therapist' is really getting down on me, but the family things dealing with my mother's depression is more important. Not really planning to bring anything of my own crap to the table, so to speak, because at the moment, my mom's life is more important than the irritation of therapy.

Other than that, schedule-wise, I know for sure I won't be online for certain days. This Saturday is my family birthday party my dad and late party for my sister's boyfriend. It's also going to be when I get to talk to my grandma face to face. She's quite old, so it's no surprise that we're all watching her health, but recently, she's been feeling random fibrillations. Turns out to be just too much coffee that week, but during the checks, they stated that she has diabetes. So... that's going to be a rough change in the grandparent's household.

Oh, so, back to topic. MIA'ing Saturday, maybe tomorrow/Wednesday for time with BF, and most of the Valentine weekend. Mainly because friends are coming back into town for the weekend. That, and because it's not just Valentine's weekend, it's Chinese New Years ^o^ I'm excited~!

Well, that's about it for now. Gotta kick it up with the studying thing since I'm falling behind a bit, but I'll try to be around as much as I can for RPs. Other than that, fun times, fun times~

<3
 
Re: ☜ ♥ ☞ ~ Kitty ♱ Dreams ~ ☠

= More Joys of Life =​
Yeah, been rather busy, but I hope Iâ??ve been replying enough for everyone to be content with my frequency. D= I know I hate it when an RP partnerâ??s just lingering around and never replies, so Iâ??m trying to not do that and trying to reply as much as possible. Probably should start being 'online' more often, for those who wait and check.

Other than that, life has been straining as well. Got into a fight with BF and we had a huge blow out, so I spent a good hour or two just cooling down after I got home. That was fun. Plus, my grandmaâ??s got the flu, so Iâ??m near panic every time my grandpa calls meâ??Iâ??m afraid Iâ??d get a call to state she has H1N1 or something and itâ??d go downhill from there. Sure, weâ??re all accepting that my grandparents are old and going to die one day. We even have the wills and everything planned out. But the thought of it due to a virus rather than natural deathâ?¦ that just hits home.

Iâ??ve been doing â??okâ?? in school recently, but the amount of work theyâ??re putting into us is stressing me a bit. Bogged down with lots of English classes and teachers nearly stating in firm and rude tones of what Iâ??m doing wrong and what I should be doing. My fooking god, do they not understand when I ask them to speak slower or with simple English words so I can understand? Perhaps itâ??s unfair of me to say so, but I hate it to death when they know itâ??s my second language and theyâ??re giving me a hard time about it.

But yeah. . . that was basically my bitching for the day. Gotta justâ?¦ relax and hope that all goes well.

</3
 
Re: ☜ ♥ ☞ ~ Kitty ♱ Dreams ~ ☠

â?¢ New Years â?¢​
WHOOOOOOOOO~

Yeah, that's basically about it. Can't wait for Sunday to come around. I'm not usually big on V-Day, but this year, I don't mind not doing anything on it except celebrating new years. Then again, I think I tend to like new years more than the holidays it's around (usually V-Day, once Easter, and Janurary stuff). Probably because of the desserts we get, and sometimes, I might get lucky money o3o

So, plans are to spend Sat with some friends, then Sunday's new years day, so family, friends, and all that jazz. Might squeeze in a dinner with BF so we somewhat celebrate v-day as well. No harm, yeah?

Nothing much to update on myself, I suppose. Things have been going the same as usual, just in and outs of life and time. Most updating for the past couple of days is that I had a midterm, I'm still running a slight fever, and I recently (today) cleaned my room. . . yeah, I rarely clean my room. Still, BF surprised me with new bed sheets, since I mentioned I was cleaning the room. Surprised he remembered that my old ones didn't feel as soft, and I love soft cotton sheets <33 So, guess I should start sleeping early or something, to cuddle upon new sheets.

Well, hope the weekend goes well. I'll try to pop in whenever I can, just to chat, do a reply or two, or something. BM, thou art a bitch, but I still luv you~

<3
 
Re: ☜ ♥ ☞ ~ Kitty ♱ Dreams ~ ☠

= Kittenâ??s Taste of Domestic Violence =​
So, I have a slight black eye forming against my high cheekbone. True fact: my boyfriend caused it. Truer Fact: my mom (yes, my mom) gave him a black eye once she saw me with it. First off, Iâ??d like to say Asian mothers are not to be taken lightly. My god, I had never seen an Asian boy fly like he did. Secondly, no, it wasnâ??t actually a fight we were in that caused it. Actually, it was while we were partying around, and he was telling some joke and swinging his arms along his sides. I, coming in from the other room, didnâ??t realize what was going on and BAM, hit.

Domestic violence, on the rise?! Not really, but for a moment, I had thought that, and was left shocked. I knew it had been BF, since I heard his voice, but I didnâ??t know why I was hit, so I was a bit in shockedâ??he had never raised his voice against me, even in fights, and we wrestle and stuff for games and all; heâ??s never hit me for any reason that was solely his anger, yadda yadda. Then I came to my senses, and he helped me up on my feet, nearly hawking me like he was afraid I was going to die. It wasnâ??t until an hour later, when my mom came into the room and saw our positions, did she attack like he was pointing a gun at me or something.

So, fun point of today so far? Weâ??re both stuck with sunglasses whenever we go outside for the next day or so.

<3/</3?
 
Whoa, well at least your BF lived to tell the tale. My mom most likely would have killed mine and left nothing for the cops to identify him with. Lolz. Interesting story nonetheless, made me think of this time back in elementary school when I was running down the hall with my arms forward to open the double doors, and my left hand slipped through an empty glass square that was supposed to be there and my face went BAM! and I gave myself a black eye. My mom was so heated yellin' and stuff, when I told her what happened she was speechless.
 
O_O My gosh! Self black eyes are never fun -rolls a boiled egg over it, despite it being years ago-

And yes, good thing my mom decided to punch him. She had a butcher knife in the other hand (she was killing a chicken at the time T_T)
 
= Dragging Along =​
Recently, Iâ??ve been feeling rather shitty. Not even sure why I feel this way, but nearly all of yesterday, I felt like I had no energy to do anything. Even RPâ??ing couldnâ??t drag me up, but then again, I think itâ??s because I was puffy on RPâ??ing as well. *inserts long rant of how sheâ??s annoyed with how rude some RPâ??ing people are, despite their RPâ??ing skill* . . . *end rant*

Yeah, other than that, I think itâ??s just because I was healing from having a fever. My familyâ??s doing well, Iâ??m just dragging myself along with depression at the moment. Not sure whatâ??s causing it, but it might just be inheritedâ??some chemical imbalance in me? Then again, life is just generally sucking in all directions, so maybe Iâ??m just going to bounce off of this once things get a bit better.

But yeahâ?¦ just documenting my damp mood, not really sure if taking up a long post is worth typing my tears out of me.

</3
 
not really sure if taking up a long post is worth typing my tears out of me.
Click to expand...

If typing up a long post gets the tears out of you, then its absolutely worth it! Our emotions are rampant beasts that just get worse if we hold them in so letting the tears spill out helps immensely and if posting about it helps with that release, then you should definitely post. The tears help cleanse you as they flow and they also let you know that you are alive and care. Both good things, in my opinion. But if you don't want to post about it, you can always talk to me. Anytime.

I'm sorry that you haven't been feeling well lately, from the fever and from feeling down, and I wish I could hug you and it would all be magically better but, while I'm good, I'm not that good XD But if you ever just want a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to vent to, you know where to find me. :BIG HUG:

Oh, and if you ever want to RP with someone who will never be rude, hit me up. I'd be honored to RP with you!
 
= Borrowing the Queen's Language =​
Dâ??aw, thanks DTD <3

And yeah, tears are sometimes good. Iâ??d like mine to come when they come though, and Iâ??m not sure inducing them via typing is a good thing. Maybe sometimes? ^^â??

Er, today, I spent it going back and forth via thingsâ?¦ generally feeling crappy and studying though. Getting better over the fever, but overall (and I donâ??t even know why), my confidence level is hitting rock bottom. Well, not confidence in who I am, how I present myself, and all that. But rather, of skills and whatnots. Got a test score back today, and that was a little boost, since it was a high score, but other than that, having someone tell me I sucked at English stabbed my metaphorical eye.

Truthfully, Iâ??ve been rather watchful of my English of late, and itâ??s leaking through onto BM when Iâ??m on as well. I think itâ??s best to apologize to my RP partners who are probably getting crap from me after theyâ??ve replied with something awesome. My replying schedules have been rough overall, but I think I want to step back, slowly go at replies, and pump out better ones. Iâ??m just going through a frustrated period of my own writing abilities (or maybe, Iâ??m just not imaginative enough and itâ??s my lack of plot?), so Iâ??m taking some measures/steps to see if I can prevent a complete burn-down and flame out on RPâ??ing. Iâ??m afraid â??taking a breakâ?? would mean quitting for months if I did that, so hopefully a bit of grinding down helps prevent that.

Meeps, went on a mini-rant-ish about that. Well, should be studying and I guess Iâ??ll get back to glancing at the book or so~

<3. . . ?
 
= Simple Delights? =​
Random excerpt, but I find little things please me easily. Guess Iâ??m a simple person? Well, as noted, Iâ??ve been down for reasons I donâ??t understand. But while opening a Dove chocolate, I decided to read the little message they have printed in there. I only eat one once a day if I decide to have one, and this one said: â??memo to self: youâ??re the best!â?. I actually smiled, before eating the chocolate. Eh, at least someone/thing agrees with me. Thankyou, Pamela, from Princeton, MA!

<3
 

Whoa and ur mom had a knife in her hand and chose to punch...hmm I believe my mom would have Chose to stab first and punch later. XDD
Anyhoo to your latest entry:
I feel that way when I get a really good fortune, inside of the fortune cookies. XD
 
= My Gay Knight =​
My gosh! Talk about deadly, Vali! xD And yes, little fortune things are nice to read sometimes. It brightens my day a bit~

Hrmâ?¦ so an update for today. I spent it at school and after getting home, I passed out in a nap, and then woke up to read a 200ish page book and write an essay on it. One, I really shouldnâ??t wait so long to finish something up like that, especially if itâ??s going to be 40% of my grade. Two, school was strange today.

So, Iâ??m usually one to mind my own business at school. Occasionally I go up to someone to say â??hiâ?? or whatnots, but generally, I keep to myselfâ??because of being a bit shy or just because people scare me. But anyways, so today, I was approached by this freakishly 6â??+ tall guy. I was sitting in the cafeteria at the time, so I nearly had to snap my head back just to look up. He wasnâ??t scary in the sense that he looked like he was going to kill me, but rather, he was intimidating because he was so tall.

At first, I had no idea what he was talking to me forâ??maybe he mistook me for someone else?â??but then I realized he was asking me to go to a party with him. At this point, I had thought he said something about a cult, and thought he was some freak. But it was actually some frat party, and his group was supposed to have each person ask someone new to join. Diversity, I suppose? Either way, I felt rather uncomfortable, mainly because I was feeling intimidatedâ??he was really flirty and bursting my personal bubble. Online, Iâ??m probably a whore or something. . . in real life, it takes some time for me to get used to being around people, and if they push too fast, I get scared. I blame my parents and their parental style of raising me; it screwed over my psyche. But oh well.

Anyways, so during that time while I was nearly frozen with a smile on my face and not sure what to say to this guy half coming onto meâ??he was all touchy and asking if I didnâ??t want to go, we could hook up and do something separately to get to know each other. Now, I donâ??t usually have people come up to me, so it was flattering, but such a rush that I didnâ??t understand that I was almost scooting backwards in my seat. Luckily, my knight in shining armor finally came.

BF got out of class early and decided he was going to pop by and eat lunch with me. So when he came, he saw that some guy was hitting on me. Now, one would expect that heâ??d step in and be all â??Hey, my GF, back offâ?. Instead, lovely BF decided to step up and grope said giant guyâ??s ass. I suck at quoting something I heard, but it was on the lines of BF asking the guy if he wanted to go on a date with BF AND myself; followed by plenty of ass-gropage and lewd suggestions.

Needless to say, said guy didnâ??t even say goodbye when he turned and just left as fast as he could.

Me? Iâ??m not sure if I should thank my BF or question why he automatically clung to another manâ??s ass like it had target rings on it.

. . . <3?
 
= Lifeâ??s a Bitch. . . and then it has Puppies =​
Yeah. No. Well, sometimes. I know being all melodramatic isnâ??t the best stuff in the world. Well, life has been rather cruddy, so I do apologize if it has been seeping out through me while Iâ??m online. I suppose itâ??s just the piling of a bit of stress here and there from various points in life, and Iâ??m trying to hold up strong. I guess today was a breaking point though, as I was rather groggy during my first classâ??the class agreed to meet up at 6AM to do a class study session for the final with the teacherâ??and sensitive overall.

Well, I ended up getting a phone call in the midst of it, so I stepped outside of the class to take it. It was mom; grandma had passed away. While this isnâ??t my American grandma of whom I am closest to in my grandma-direction-ish, this was one that I still have fond memories of visiting. My momâ??s mom (blood), so traditionally, she had been the grandma I grew up meeting the most. I tell myself and others that tears are nothing to be ashamed off, because theyâ??re emotions. Fucking cried my eyes out right then and there though, curled up like some lump of shit on the side of the hallway.

I find it a bit strange that I feel detached at the moment on that subject matter, because I think it just hit me and then left me a bit numb. I canâ??t go visit the family in Vietnam to see how things are holding up, canâ??t afford to go back to visit the grave and view the burialâ?¦ I think, because Iâ??m so removed from it all that I just cried for a loss and then my emotions forced itself into believing that sheâ??s still kind of hereâ??as I couldnâ??t see her before, and now I still canâ??t see her. I almost wished that I had married already, despite being so young, because I had wished for her to be one of my seatersâ??an honored member of the family thatâ??s given tea to during traditional marriages.

. . . yeah, depressing news that Iâ??m not sure how to handle, but just had to get it down so I donâ??t look back on the day and think I was some coldhearted bitch. Well, I guess the only thing I can do is to hold strong and move on. Life doesnâ??t stop just because one breath does, does it?

</3
 
= . . .Uh. . . =​
So, life continued on. Went MIA Fri/Sat unexpectedly, mainly because my family needed some time together. Other than that, nothing extremely special went on. The whole scare on my grandmaâ??s death? I hate my cousin in Vietnam nowâ??she had thought it was a funny joke to tell me. Fucking cunt. >_< Iâ??d forgive her if I didnâ??t hate her at the moment. Then again, Iâ??m in the middle of being glad that my grandmaâ??s alright; sheâ??s just doing her annual visit to the doctors for health check up.

. . .

Yeah, I really donâ??t know how to respond to that. My breakdown was for nothingâ??in a senseâ??and I find it like watching a bad movie. Something thatâ??s there, not quite over with, but lingers. Sheâ??s going to get bad karma for doing that, Iâ??m sure. >_> Not that Iâ??d like to curse her, but damn. . . wtf, yeah? I think Iâ??m entitled to feeling like that.

But meh. . . just half floating backwards to BM, catching up on my usual set of giving a few minutes of my day to attempt recruiting, and doing replies. Finals are coming up so Iâ??ll be busy with that soon, and I need to schedule classes before Wednesday. Fun times, Iâ??m sure.

Well, thatâ??s my mini-update, I suppose. Aside from the scare, I think Iâ??m perking up overall. Weâ??re getting more sun this week overall, so itâ??s helping me get out and about and a fresh bout of air.

<3
 
= Whee. . . =​
@ HR: Yeah! That ho got whatâ??s coming to her anyways â?? she went camping (wtf, living in Vietnam is like camping already! -goes to hell- ) and ended up getting feasted on by the bugs >8U Itchy vengeance!

On a different noteâ?¦ I ended up getting pulled away from computer (and school) because of my motherâ??s relapse into depression. Itâ??s been rather hellish for the last two days, with doctor visits, random screaming fits sheâ??s had and the need to calm her down, and the oncoming slaughter of suicide plots. I swear, this is going to reflect badly on my psyche, I just know it. Probably going to drag over onto my psyche test next week actually, and then I would sound/seem like Iâ??m suicidal. Yeahâ?¦ thatâ??s not going to be good.

Well, slightly back now, with the need to catch up and an apology to all the RPs Iâ??ve fallen behind on. Iâ??ll do a catch up and hopefully, my mind is in one place long enough for me to reengage myself with BM. I know Iâ??ve been rather distant overall, popping in and out, so I feel bad when I just vanish in the middle of chit-chatting. Know that itâ??s not because I hate you (ok, maybe some of you), itâ??s because my mind is preoccupied and wandering.

</3
 
Look, I'll bring my Gasmask bong, you just make sure your mother is secured. Preferably with medical-grade restraints. Depression is as nothing before the might of THC!
 
= Kittenâ??s missing few hours =​
@ Try: Gas-masks kind of scare me D: But Iâ??m tempted right after the morning/afternoon I just had. Or didnâ??t have.

Ok, got on early in the morning, ready to get things back into the swing of things. Life was flowing, as always, and then. . .

I wake up a few hours later, wondering why Iâ??m so groggy, trying to advise my sister not to rant about her boss over the phone to some coworkerâ??not a good idea. Plus, there was toothpaste in my hair, which is rather strange in itself. Anyway, I was recently informed, my missing few hours was spent not in slumber, but in unconsciousness. My mother had attacked me, thinking she was going to take me with her in her attempt of â??going to the higher worldâ? (I think thatâ??s how it translates into English at least). Not sure what my familyâ??s thinking, but my dadâ??s brought my mom to the psyche, and my sister just informed me of what happened.

What Iâ??m wondering is why they didnâ??t think to bring me to the hospital to check if I had a concussionâ??I was knocked unconscious and I really donâ??t remember things leading up to it.

. . .

Iâ?¦ really donâ??t know. It explains the headache and disorientation I have at the moment though. Guess once my parents get done with the psyche, my family will have to have a â??meetingâ? and all that jazz. Eh, hope things go well~

</3
 
= Floating about =​
Just a small update on whatâ??s going on so partners are given the reason why Iâ??m popping in and out so often. Iâ??m not too behind on school, but I do need to do a bit of catching up. After the last entry, Iâ??ve been dealing with legal issues and personal issues. My family decided that if I felt it was safe to have my mother near me, then she could stay in the apartment during the recovery watch.

We have people come over rather randomly and frequently to check up on her, but so far, things are going at a sluggish, yet even pace. I know, I know. I probably shouldnâ??t offer to be around my mother so soon after what happened, butâ?¦ Iâ??m not about to throw my mother out into some psych area so she could get help away from her family. Sheâ??s my mom, you know? And she feels bad enough that she had a lapse to cause what happened; nothing means more to my mother than family and her kids. While sheâ??s back, Iâ??m not allowed to be alone with her for now, but thatâ??s alright, because my father wants to be around us for comfort as well.

Well, life continues on, I suppose. Gotta just keep chucking at it. I find it almost strange at how things just spiral into a messy so quickly, but then again, itâ??s out of my control. Oh well, gotta keep a positive attitude or Iâ??ll get consumed by depression @_@

<3!!!!
 
= Update =​
Just a brief update. Been truly in and out, in the on and off days kind of deal. Headache isnâ??t going away, and the medicine they gave me to ease things make me nauseous, so I donâ??t want to take them. Other than that, sister is fighting a legal battle now with the place she got fired from; sheâ??s having vocal problems and got fired because she wasnâ??t able to get sales, despite the fact that they put her in drive-through, where she doesnâ??t have enough time to speak with a customer to get sales inâ??itâ??s strangely all over the place.

Anyways, so yeah, things are rough, gotta keep a strong head and all. Earlier, one of my teachers was pissy because I had been out of it for a few classesâ??mainly because of the family issue with my mother and the wok I was hit with. . . â??but anyways, so she firmly believed I had no idea what I was talking about. Ignored my raised hand for the entire time we were having a class discussion, and when the guy next to me spoke out and asked her why she would glance over me and not pick me (he noted that she was being rude), her excuse was that this was an important test matter, and that my broken English would have made it hard for others to understand the subjectâ??like it would distract them from the main topic and general understanding.

. . . I donâ??t know how I sound exactly, but Iâ??ve been told that I have only a hint of an accent to my English. I can speak full sentences and I donâ??t stutter THAT much. . . Now, I know that people (and I admit I do it too), crack racial jokes at times. Only do it when you know the people around you are not offending, and if you accidentally offend, be prepared to apologize, yeah? What she said was straight forward, firm in what she believed to hinder the class discussion. I think 80% or so of the class are 2nd language learners. . . half of them looked like they were deeply offending.

Iâ??m rather offending myself, and Iâ??m not sure if it was an excuse to exclude me, as I hadnâ??t been to 2-3 of these classes (over the span of my â??outâ? time), or if she truly thought that because I was Asian, I wouldnâ??t be able to ask a coherent question. Not sure how to take this really, but itâ??s leaving me to feel a bit down. Not enraged â??downâ?, but ratherâ?¦ moppy.

</3 . . . ;-;
 
Honestly, it sounds like you might have grounds for an administrative complaint, or at least something you could take to your Dean. Because that's not fair, it's not right, and you've got a whole class-full of witnesses. Just a few who agree to support your claim would be more than enough.

That kind of thing needs to be whacked when it rears its ugly head, or it'll just keep coming back. Um... assuming you're not playing whack-a-mole, in which case coming back is the entire point of the game.
 
*hugs kitten*

stupid bitch. yeah. she's exactly that. it burns me that ppl can be so damned ignorant especially when they're in positions of authority like that. it truly boggles my mind that such ppl fall through the cracks and thus gain such power. i do hope you file a complaint and that some sort of action is taken against her. she deserves it. too many times such things get overlooked or the person merely receives a tiny tap on the wrist just for show. these sorts of ppl need to know that what they're doing is wrong and offensive and that ppl will not stand for it.

so cheer up. don't let some stupid person bring you down. she's the idiot and the one who must go down.
 
Thanks you two <333

I talked to my sister and her BF, and they said to report it to the dean as well. I suppose I'll attempt to email or call him first thing tomorrow. Her BF said to call so that it proves I speak English without a heavy accent. So yeah... got a plan of a bit of justice~

-hugs- <333
 
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