☜ ♥ ☞

[iKitten]

â?? â?¥ â?? ~ Kitty â?± Dreams ~ â? ​

Table of Contents

• About ~ â?«
  Kitten's Workload ~ â?«
  Kitten's Woe ~ â?«
  Other Stuff ~ â?«[/list:u]

 

[iKitten]

~ About ~

~ About ~

Small tidbits about Kitten​

Name/Nickname: Kitten - Oh, so original >.>'
Age: 21
Occupation: Student
Other Gibberish:
Kitten is almost always in school, hates seaweed, likes to roleplay, believes she has ADHD, is slow and it doesnâ??t take a lot to distract her, and might reply slow to whatever you need from her because she needs to use spell-check, grammar-check, AND a translator (and thatâ??s not even considering the amount of distractions sheâ??d have to weed through). Even then she might not understand you; a drawback of having English as a second language. Use common words if you want complete understanding. :| Sad, she knows. Also, Kitten has a boyfriend! 8D So as much as she'd love to get to know you and be as friendly as possible, please understand that she will not be developing any romantic feelings for anyone.

 

[iKitten]

~ Kitten's Workload ~

Kitten's Workload - For RP Partners​

There are many reasons why there are delays for replies, so I thought Iâ??d post up the general workload I have.

In Real Life: Iâ??m a full-time student with a babysitting job. I take summer school, go out with friends, and exercise at the gym.

On BlueMoon: Some days, Iâ??m only on BM to help moderate the forums and chat; nothing else. I am always on 'lurk' mode. Just because.

â??â?? Tidbits to Know â??â??​

• â?¢ If either of us wants the RP to be dropped/changed, I expect weâ??ll speak up about it. PM me for any doubts of continuity.
  â?¢ I fluctuate in posting length depending on inspiration or whatnots. I won't measure you, please don't measure me.
  â?¢ I canâ??t do all replies in one day, but unless some reason is announced, I wonâ??t take more than 2-3 weeks to reply at the most.
  â?¢ I suck at multitasking, so donâ??t be peeved if Iâ??m focusing on only 1 or 2 RPs on the days Iâ??m RPâ??ing.
  â?¢ Just because I conform to the title system and claim that I'm a "dom", does not mean you can be the "sub". :\ I love you, I do. But I will drop you if you back me up into being that without asking.[/list:u]
  
  â?ª Roleplaying Status â?ª​
  This is mainly for my convenience to keep track of my RPs. Iâ??ve listed them in alphabetical order of the title for LOLZ.
  
  
  Male x Female -paused-
  • â?  A Shift in Power â?? Fem/Dom
    â?  Distorted Perception â?? Fem/Sub
    â?  Harvest Moon â?? Male/Dom[/list:u]
    
    Female x Female
    • â?  The Princess and the Dragon â?? Fem-Futa/Switch[/list:u]
      
      Male x Male
      • â?  Anything for the King â?? Doubles/Dom/Sub [MxM & FxF]
        â?  Cheap Paperbacks â?? Dom/Switch
        â?  Comment mai je vous servir, maître? â?? Dom/Switch
        â?  Foreign Exchanged Sweets â?? Switches
        â?  High School Romance â?? Switch
        â?  HM:MM Lucky â?? Switch
        â?  Lustful â?? Switch
        â?  Mail-Order Bride â?? Switch
        â?  Mizu â?? Dom/Switch
        â?  Of Knights and Princes â?? Doubles/Dom/Sub
        â?  Reflections â?? Doubles/Dom/Switch
        â?  Roleplay â?? Sub ?
        â?  Sun Sets, Moon Rises â?? Dom/Switches
        â?  The boyâ??s just no good â?? Switch[/list:u]
        
        Group/Misc
        • â?  Under the Shadow of the Eclipse
          â?  The Victorian Scandal ?
          â?  In the Army
          â?  Lunar Eclipse | The Northern Kingdom
          â?  FallOut [U/C]
          â?  Discord Gardens [U/C][/list:u]
          As of June 11th, 2010​

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Kittenâ??s Woe ~

Why *insert some benign being*, WHY?!​

This is where Kitten will place all that stresses her and makes her wonder.

Woes to Note:
1: May 29th, 2009 - This journal took a lot more work than she realized. ><
2: June 6th, 2009 - Hates feeling lonely! Where is the love?! (And I'm not talking about the song) <<
3: June 12th, 2009 - I'm bored, yet busy. Tired, yet awake. Mix feelings always drain and make me lost. @.@
4: July 3rd, 2009 - Gotta stop fixing up my request page. Seriously. DX

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Other ~

Other Stuff?​

Kitten's adpotables~ Clicky!

Kitten's Gifts~ no clicky!

Kitten's Skillz (however little) O.O;

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Grand Opening!? Not really ~

(May 25th, 2009)​

(Yes, I know Iâ??m posting this in the AMâ??s/afternoon, making it the 30th. Wrote it yesterday night though and forgot to post it. XP)

Hmâ?¦so, letâ??s see. Today was suppose to be a relaxing day, but I ended up going to school to do some homework, and then traveled home for some fun family time. They basically ran right after they raided my fridge, but ehâ?¦got to love family I guess. I spent the day roleplaying, chatting, doing homework, and formatting this journal and watched a movie. Scooby-Doo movies never bore me for some reason. Child by heart? Probably.

I find that I like formatting these posts to something cute and hopefully simpleâ??it also reminds me why I liked GaiaOnline when I use to play it. That being said, I will probably make even more random posts in other threads for the hell of it and inter-link all of my â??topicâ?? posts together. I like playing with styles, BBCode, and formatting too much, so even if no one ever reads any of the stuff, itâ??ll entertain me.

Off of that thought, I feel a bitâ?¦schizophrenic while typing this. Who am I talking to? Some benign being? Probably not. Just a figment of my imagination that someone is actually reading this, or even better yet, Iâ??m talking to my future (and by future, I probably mean next week) self. Hence, the reason I feel schizophrenic. Kitten attacks Kitten with Scratch? Yeahâ?¦

Kitten levels up! Kitten evolves into... CATWOMAN!

So concludes the first day of this journal�not a good sign when I start combining Pokémon AND Batman. Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Meltdown & Kayito-San ~

(May 30th, 2009)​

Today was warm :| . I thought I was going to die of a heat stroke, but luckily, it cooled down fast right after the heat rise. Itâ??s supposed to just keep rising and for the week and I donâ??t think I can function correctly under this heat. Iâ??ve gotten too use to the cool weather, thatâ??s for sure.

Other than that, today has been another peaceful and relaxing day. I probably ate more ice-cream and sandwiches than usual, but I guess its fine, since I donâ??t do so often. Hopefully, I donâ??t over indulge into ice-cream this week.

Something to note today: my first thread RP in BM. *Celebrates* Yay, no longer a thread virgin~ Iâ??m RPâ??ing it with Kayito-San as a Het Master/Slave, so this is interestingâ??since I rarely play female in Het. Well, letâ??s hope it goes well. We ended on a long post from him, so Iâ??ll have to do a read tonight and tomorrow to write a good post. *fearful* Well, ending this post, so night to myâ?¦selfâ?¦.o_oâ??
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Not So Spiffy ~

(June 3rd, 2009)​

Blehâ?¦Iâ??m not feeling so perky today. The dot never likes me and always leaves me in pain. Iâ??ve been recently having writersâ?? block a lot and easily distracted, so I apologize to anyone who reads this and is one of my RP partners. My writing just hasnâ??t been up to speed and on top of that, Iâ??ve been doing slower replies. Hopefully everything sizzles down after the heat wave as well.

Other than that, that pass couple of days has been chaotic. Finals are next week, so I might go onto a hiatus, but Iâ??m not sure. Letâ??s just hope I get a good amount of studying in so that I donâ??t have to cram that last week. My friends and I are planning to go out after finals, so who knows. If I get enough motivation and find some time after finals, I might want to try my hand at a story and post it, but I wonâ??t do any commitments with myself for that one, since Iâ??m not sure my writing will get spiffy enough for a full story.

Itâ??s still relatively hot where Iâ??m at, so I blame the heat for my meltdown. Iâ??m not use to the heat anymore and if it gets pass a certain temperature, I think I stop functioning. xD Oh well, might as well stop gibbering.
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Down the Drain ~

(June 5th, 2009)​

I know I should probably place hateful things into the PvP section, but since this is a journal and it's not really hateful to anyone here, then I guess this is alright. Kitten has not been feeling...fluffy at all. >< I know its just hormones, but I'm really out of whack lately and can't wait until it is all over with. I hope I haven't been or will be rude too anyone during this time.

My RP has been lacking too, so I apologize to all my RP'ers. *bows* I know I have finals coming up, but I haven't been studying, since the material is either take home or something we went over already. But I guess the stress would always be there and it carries over and adds to my load of 'bleh'.

I kind of feel 'betrayed' by some of my 'friends', but it's probably me just being bitchy recently. However, it does bother me that someone who says it's ok for me to talk about what I don't like and ends up judging me. We agreed that we would talk about things like that and that we both didn't care (people do bitch sometimes and it's natural to get it off their shoulders), and I spent almost months just hearing bitching after bitching about the people she didn't like (some around us), and finally, when I felt something I didn't like and told her about it, she started calling me names and stopped talking to me. And then she even went to the point of making fun of me and mocking me. @.@ We're part of this big 'chat RP', so it's half RP, half OOC, and because no one RP's with her, she just kind of 'lurks'. She now randomly throws comments about how 'bad' my RP is and bitches at other people for not wanting to RP with her one-liners that doesn't even pass 5 words in a sentence. ><' Not that her RP'ing is bad, it's just hard to RP with and she actually got mad for us telling the truth to her after she asked why no one RP'd long term ideas with her.

...but, yeah, so that's the not so fun story of recent times for Kitten. I hope my RP isn't really that bad, but if it is, I'm willing to try and change it. I'll probably look back on this and think I was childish, and I know I'll get over it (probably getting over it already as I type it off), but at least I noted it.
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Random Thoughts ~

(June 12th, 2009)​

Well, things are 'looking up' in my mood in general, so that's good. I've been getting headaches recently but I think it's just being on the computer for such a long period of time. I'll start cutting it down, but try to keep up with the RP's.

Recently, I just updated my request page, so I'm kind of hoping it works out with the cliche plots I made. <//< I've been getting lots of Het RPs, so I'm going to turn my focus on getting other types for now. Other than that I guess I didn't have as much as I wanted to post, so I might get back to this or not...oh well.
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ * [Updates on Kitten Included]

~ On the Hunt! ~

(June 15th, 2009)​

Well, this marks another day in my quest to hunt for roleplays. As of now, Iâ??m searching for yaoi and hope this continues to go well. Thereâ??s always the balance of finding too many partners and maybe none at all, so I hope to be somewhere in between.

Now that Iâ??m â??on the huntâ??, so to speak, Iâ??m going to search for good maleXmale RPs, not just â??yaoiâ??. Might as well expand my horizon, right? I feel slightly hypocritical because picky and yet not at the same time about my RPâ??s. As long as it falls within my mood, I wouldnâ??t mind whatever for the plot, pairing, etc. I keep my request page â??open to all typesâ?? because maybe someone would swing me towards that direction. Either way, I hope my RP partners are happy with what weâ??re doing.

As of late, I found that most of my roleplays are over PM, so I started a small â??systemâ?? of organizing them. I actually like this new method, so Iâ??m probably going to edge towards PM more than thread. Obviously, IM has fallen out of favor to me, but Iâ??m not sure if itâ??s 100% out of the question. Just at this moment, I suppose. I understand the uses of IM to chat, get to know, etc, but I think Iâ??ll stay away from IM RPâ??ing for now. For those who I have started with, I promise I wonâ??t chuck it~ Iâ??ll finish what we started and will stay with that medium unless you desire a change.

Lately, life has been getting a bit hectic, so Iâ??m not sure how everything is going to turn out. This of course, will effect how I can RP and my replies might edge closer towards my â??RP Frequencyâ? list (perhaps the 1/day to 3-4/week). But life happens, so I apologize. If at any time you donâ??t desire to wait that long for a reply post nor would just rather not roleplay with that frequency, Iâ??d understand if you want to drop our RP. ^^ Since Iâ??m not fully sure on if everything settles or not, I wonâ??t firmly state anything.

Aside from that, Iâ??m going to be jumping computers a lot, so if you donâ??t see me on a messenger or the chat, its probably because Iâ??m just squeezing enough time to reply and would be off. Yay for life happening, right? Well, thatâ??s about all the update about me I can think of. *ponders if anyone actually reads this, but there has been quite the hits* Then againâ?¦maybe I amâ?¦aloneâ?¦o.o Oh well, time for bed and no more dwelling on little things.
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[Kite Xiroh]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ * [Updates on Kitten Included]

<.<
>.>
-lurks-
Bwaha.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Random Thoughts #2 ~

(June 30th, 2009)​

Eh, nothing to say much, but just wanted to ramble. I've been having a strange week+ so far, with my friend getting pregnant, boyfriend and I having a huge fight, things slightly blowing over, and all the good stuff. I would like to blame my slow and odd replies on that, but I will have to admit, my muse has just been on vacation a lot. Either direction, I'm hoping to pick up speed again, if not find a new and steady pace.

Next weekend is Fourth of July though. 8D That's going to be fun, but I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing 100%. Hanging out with boyfriend would be nice, since we don't see each other a huge amount, with our different school schedules and his work. My sister might spend the firework show with us and so forth, but as I've said. Uncertain grounds we're walking upon here...however, I don't mind it, since I'm not one for planning out the entire day. Go with the flow, as they say, and we'll all hopefully have good times. ^-^
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Storing Post So I don't Lose This Crap <.<

{Plot Ideas}
(These are semi-tweek-able.)​

• [â?¥] * bold = role I want; preferred rating | PG-13 = I can do pure plot for this with some romance;
  NC-17 = I can do porn without plot for this| Help links for this RP/Other Notes.[/list:u]

  â?¥ 2 Sentence/Post RP Challenge â?? Yaoi/Yuri (Human/Human; Human/Neko; etc) | Switch | OC | PG-13/NC-17 | Thread only RP.
  To me, this challenge encompasses the typical brain-fart when one doesn't want to type that much to post and get the story going to testing a writer's ability to â??cut to the pointâ??. Obviously not all RPs are going to be like this type, but Iâ??d like to try it out at least once. This can be with any of my plot or yours, or just winging a general outline of Yaoi/Yuri, setting, and so forth.
  
  Idea of this:
  

  • You must have 'two' sentences (yes, thatâ??s right. Two periods) per post.
    Do not just post one sentence, that's not the point of what I want to try.
    Short but concise; try to get the story going and have a reaction within the limit.
    For guildance: Each sentence is about 17-24 words.
    Please try to keep the total word count in the range of 34-60 words.[/list:u]

  • 
    Kidnapper/Kidnapped â?? Yaoi (Human/Human) | Dom/Sub | OC | NC-17 | Refer to "Yaoi" Kinks
    However youâ??d want to play the kidnapping, but Iâ??d like to be the submissive one here (SURPRISE! 8D). This is the basic Kidnapper captures Kidnapped, trains the Kidnapped to be his sex slave, and the Sub eventually falls pray to the pleasure and Stockholmâ??s Syndrome. Yup, I want the twisted devotion. If you can pull this one off for me with flare, Kitten would give litters to your spores.
    
    Mail-Order Bride â?? Yaoi/Yuri (Human/Human) | Switch | OC | PG-13/NC-17| Wiki Help
    Always on the job, a chief police officer has decided that (s)he would order a bride online. With a small mix-up, a same gender person was sent to the officer, and until they can fix everything, the two would be stuck together. Would love blossom during that time enough that the officer would decide to keep this bride?
    
    Harvest Moon â?? Yaoi (Human/Human) | Switch | OC | PG-13/NC-17 | Help
    The story of the game is about the Harvest Goddess, who has sealed herself away because she believes nobody has love. Ian enters the scene because of a newspaper advertisement sent by Mayor Theodore, glorifying Flower Bud Village as a great place to start a farm. Once he discovers the stone-from Goddess, he is asked to find 101 Musical Notes that will become a melody to free her. The Harvest Spirits send the Harvester [Insert Your Character] to live with Ian and aid his search. However, the Harvester turns out to be more perverted than Ian thinks he can handle.
    
    The â??Helpâ? link will provide you with a list and description of each note. Iâ??d like to follow the general idea of the storyline, but have some twists on how Ian would find a note. The twists can be sexual, romantic, or silly. Of course itâ??s crazy to do a twist on all 101, so we can look through them and pick out the ones that seem the most fun to twist up and RP. This RP can be as long as you want or as short, depending on how many notes you want to find~
    
    Example:
    
    • Original = Note 4 â?? Cooking. Receive this note the first time you cook.
      Twist = Note 4 â?? Dining for 2. Share a first romantic dinner together.[/list:u]
    • 
      Hetalia â?? Yaoi (Human/Human) | Switch; Dom/Sub | IC | PG-13/NC-17 | Wiki Help Scanlations & Community Help
      Youâ??re not going to learn 100% fact-history from this, thatâ??s for sure. However, having a general knowledge on the character and who theyâ??re interacting with would be good (this can be done through Wikipediaâ??s search of the country or the two nationâ??s history together). This is open to a general interaction in modern day or a historical point in the past. Remember: Hetalia is taken with a grain of salt. ^^
      
      What I can play (in order): [Yours/Mine]
      
      • Any x Hong Kong/Russia/Poland (I'd like to be dom (if applied) with Russia please) ^^
        Any x Any[/list:u]
      • 
        School Girls â?? Yuri (Human/Human) | Switch | OC | PG-13/NC-17 | Picture
        The image is from a comic/manga called â??Yuriâ? I believe, but I just wanted to use the image. xD Iâ??d like to be the bluish-silver haired girl in the black. I think it would be cute for this to have a choice range from a non-sexual RP, to a semi-sexual, to a sexual plot; such as puppy-school love/crush to relationship development.
        
        Detective/Criminal â?? Yaoi (human/human(maybe neko) | Idea 1: Switch; Idea 2: Dom/Sub | OC | PG-13/NC-17 | Refer to "Yaoi" Kinks
        Idea 1: Detective [You] is assigned to hunt down the Criminal [Me] that's on the run because of murder, robbery, etc. They have a few brushing here and there for different reasons, such as a chase, meeting in a random place and chatting (disguised), or even add in them be secret lovers that don't know each other's true identity (since they wear masks or something).
        Idea 2: A detective keeps a criminal captive in his home to 'protect' and 'punish' at the same time. [I can play either.]

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Blurb ~

(June 30th, 2009)​

I'M GOING TO SEE TRANSFORMERS II TONIGHT. 8D.....D8
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Blurb 2 ~

(July 7th, 2009)​

Bleh, I don't know what I'm doing recently. Friends, family, and all the good stuff have been taking up my time. Luckily, most of it isn't something bad and dramatic; just the same old stuff about hanging out, spending time, bonding. I'm greatful for it, but at the same time, sometimes it just feels overwhelming. Spending time with family is an important thing to me and I love spending time with friends outside and about, but at times, it feels like I don't get a moment's rest away from them. My entire weekends are being sucked up by my family, which aren't too bad, but then every morning, they expected for us to spend some time together. Oh well, this is better than the family not wanting to spend time together.

Other than that, nothing too big is on my mind right now. I will admit that recently, I've been getting annoyed with certain things I try not to, so it's been a bit of a ride. I'll get over it though, but until then--along with my family thing--I'd probably be slow in replies and would vanish a day randomly. It's not that I'm dropping the RP's I have, I just need to slow down. I hope anyone that reads this understands ^^. But now that I'm half dead, I think its time for some rest...maybe >.>
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Being Sick ~

(July 10th, 2009)​

Yay...sick again. I really get sick way too often for my own good, but since I babysit a lot, I guess that makes sense. Kids are germ carrying little things and if its not one kid, its the other. Oh well, a least its not too bad. I'm a bit out of it today, but yesterday, I was really chucking out the the RPs. Strange, since I should have been out cold. However, the flu is slowly getting worst--so that means it'll get better soon, hopefully--so today, I've been on a meltdown at how fast I can RP. Other than that, I'll be gone tomorrow since I need to hit the doctors for a regular check up. Poor guy probably has a mask over him every time he sees me so he doesn't get sick. xD

Oh well, not much to say but to just document my illness. Ta~
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

~ Being Sick II ~

(August 1st, 2009)​

Uh...just to document it yet again, I'm amazed I got sick within a month's time....again. =.= It's just a mild common cold though, so I hope it all goes well. Things have been really hot recently though (and sadly, I don't mean the playful hot), so I hope things cool down before I melt just stepping outside of my home. x'D

Oh well, Ta (again)~
Curls under the sheets and yawns, before falling asleep.

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

"Sometimesâ?¦Defiance hurts more than compliance."​

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

Feeling a bit crummy and dead...I think I'm either just exhausted or just moody from the heat. So...

BLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

Bleh-day just went a bit downhill. Hopefully things pick up. I understand I've been going in and out a lot, so I hope all of my role play buddies forgive me. Hopefully, things settle down, but as it is, with family and summer schedule, it's crazy to even try to make sense of what happens two weeks from now. On a brighter note, my birthday is coming (not really) soonish 8D.​

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

Sleepy....I feel strange today, and almost...lonely? o.o' Gosh, spending too much time with BF and friends that it's making me strange after I'm not with them. @.@ Hope to get out that funk, even though we're going to the Enchanted Forest (I don't know why....=.=) some time next week. Well, even though I hate stepping away and not being able to respond, I will admit that I'm having an eventful summer. @.@''​

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

Ugh....I don't know what's up with me recently. Perhaps I'm burnt out from family stress and all, but I find the will to role play being half here and half there. But it is a bit hard to role play at a steady pace when all my partners seem to get on the same time/reply at the same time. Oh well, must just be strange timing for myself, as it's probably them finally getting to mine - at least, I assume so, as I go in order from first person who posted to last. >.> I'm becoming a slow replier today though, since I had a fight with BF and...well, let's just say Kitten got emotional xD Oh well, it blew over and I hope things mellow out for a bit for the next few days. ^^'​

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ *

I've been needing a lot of rest these days, so my role plays have been hurting just a bit. Hopefully things pick up, but then again, sometimes, one needs to just sit back away from things and allow themselves to relax. I might need a break, but let's hope not, as I wouldn't want to lose plot and idea from some of my role plays. >.> We're getting to the good parts! But any ways, today as gone alright...not as stressful, considering I had to exercise like crazy in the AM's. I might want to take it easy tomorrow as well, just to get myself 'rebooted'. However, nothing too bad came out of me taking it slow today though, so life works out. At the moment, I'm a bit hesitant on taking new partners up, as I don't want to overload. Might consider someone if they ask, but meh...I'll let that float as well. Starting a lot of new ones at once kills the creativity sometimes, as I believe creativity in a plot grows over time. Sadly, not a lot of role players are willing to stick to it to let it grow. o.o I wonder if they are long term role players or shot just telling me they're long? To their definition "long" could mean 1 week xD. But eh, anywho, ending mini-random-rant~​

 

[iKitten]

Re: * ~ Kitty Dreams ~ * - From other area

¤ In the Beginning of Timeâ?¦ ¤​

Soâ?¦this is somewhat of a typing for release, and somewhat, just becauseâ?¦well, whatever reason we all type out journals. Going to use bluemoon like my facebook or whatever. Iâ??m going to start the first journal entry with somethingâ?¦ depressing, as something in the chat had reminded me of this fact, and itâ??s on my mind at the moment. I guess Iâ??ll start from the beginning and try to keep this short, as I wouldnâ??t want to re-read a long novel.

It started when I was in high school, freshmen year. The summer before had been rather fun parties and flittered around with all my friends in the high that we were all going to the same high school. Back then, it was the biggest thing that we would all go to different high schoolsâ??which I find funny, as college was almost devastating to us; sweat the small stuff, huh? But anyways, so in the middle of the summer, I was offered a job at a reptile store, of which was owned by my old elementary school teacher. I had known him since I was basically five years old, so I thought it was going to be fun and almost memory-revisiting. In my elementary, we had little pets in classrooms and a large orange and white python snake inside of the library. It roamed around without being caged, and if we wandered in, we could find him sitting somewhere on the bookshelves, or on the ground somewhere. Thinking back, it was a bitâ?¦farfetched and dangerous, but no one seemed to mind and parents back then didnâ??t care. The snake was harmless and had never once attacked anyone, but during story time, it would slither between kids sitting on the ground and allowed them to pet him.

But anyways, so back to the reptile store. There, I tended to the animals there, which consisted mainly of snakes, geckos, mice, crickets, tortoises, walking sticks, lizards, and frilled dragons (they were so cute <3). Most of the time, I was alone though, with my co-worker being the background guy that stacked boxes, did papers, etc. Whenever customers came in, they would see me instead of the other guy. Over the course of the year, I handled the store and cleaned around. Most of the time, there were snakes that needed to be tended to, and while some people find it cruel, most of the time, I would have to feed the snakes live mice, and check back to see if they ate it.

For almost a year, it seemed like a fun job, as I was used to snakes around me in my life. Only once had I been bitten, but it was with a small snake, and that little guy got head-bonked and released my finger. When the summer came again, I continued to work there, going about and doing the fairs that the streets had; showing off some of the little snakes for customers to see. Looking back over the time there though, I began to notice little things that were affecting my working ability. The strange â??surprise massagesâ?? that my boss popped up on me was sometimes alright, as I thought he had found me like a daughter he didnâ??t haveâ??well, he had divorced and only had a son that never visited him. As I continued to work there though, things got strange, as the guy that worked in the back got fired, which made me wonder what he had done to get fired. He had been rather fun to talk to during breaks, and we had had a date once before; mainly to get to know each other as co-workers.

Almost a month after the guy had been fired, my boss was around much moreâ??obvious, as there was no one else to do work around there. At least, thatâ??s what I brushed it off as. He would still continue the random massages that were mainly shoulders and back, which I will admit, I thought was alright, since a massage was a massage. Just little rubs on the shoulders whenever he passed by, and whatever. It became strange soon though, as he began to rub my stomach, and a few times, brushed across my breasts. The first time, I didnâ??t think much about it; brushing it off as a slip of the hand as he moved to rub my shoulders. Now, I admit I shouldnâ??t have allowed him to massage me in general, as it was strange as it was. But in my mind at the time (I was aboutâ?¦fifteen at the time), this was someone that I saw like a second father, and my dad used to stand behind me whenever I was doing something, patted my shoulders, and sometimes when I was doing homework, he would massage my shoulders and tell me how proud he was of me. Yes, my parents are saps, and they arenâ??t all traditional Asians. For two people who had escaped the Vietnam war, struggled in another country as teenagers, and married in the early twenties, they are wonderful people and grand parents.

So, it was nothing that I thought too much of. When the touches got a bit personal though, just directed up at my upper body, it began to make me uncomfortable. I began to avoid the touches in general, not knowing what it was, but knowing that I didnâ??t like it. I was rather sheltered in this time of my life, as my parents were protective, and at the same time, no one that I had known had been through or spoken about this. School hadnâ??t mentioned anything about such things before, so this was all new to me. It began to make me not want to go to work, and while I was at school once, I overhead my teacher talking about molestation. It was a health class and there were things about mentality and all, so I wasnâ??t quite caught up with the terms at the time. But when I looked back at some signs, I realized that what was making me uncomfortable was his touches were not wanted, and aimed towards a sexual direction that made me uncomfortable.

Of course, I quite as soon as I could, and never even went to visit him or even talked to him. My parents are still in the dark about it, but I have told my sister. I began to ask for my dad to stop hovering over my shoulder to praise me, which he was confused at, but looked like he brushed it off as â??his little girl growing upâ?? (Iâ??m the younger/est sister). I know I should tell my parents or should have went to the authorities about it, but it was something I wasnâ??t ready to face and admit, but the guy that was my co-worker found out, and met with me. He learned about that as well, as he had always senses something strange. Seeing that I didnâ??t want to come out as a girl who had been molested, he moved to take the burden for me, and reported that the boss had molested co-workersâ??mentioning other girls in the past, that surprisingly, had testified.

I was part of the group, but I didnâ??t speak up, as I realized, I was the youngest there. A small part of me didnâ??t want to speak up though, as there were still some emotion conflicts that I had. Here was a man that I had saw as a second father, someone that had been my teacher since I was younger, a family friend almost, and someone I had trusted to help me guide me through small pockets of my life. The offer of the job was to be my first job and get me rolling, so I was thrilled at the time. As Iâ??ve said, I had never even touched subject with this in any area of my life, so it was almost too easy how it had happened. I wish I had been able to see it earlier, or I wish I had been stronger and known better. But I didnâ??t, and that was a sad fact. In Vietnam, he would have been put to death and probably justly murdered by my family, which was something that was not uncommon for the government to overlook. It was like a slap in the face and betrayal at the same time. He was trialed and proven guilty; and that was the last that I paid attention to it.

I soon found myself avoiding showers (yes, I know, gross), but I couldnâ??t stand undressing myself. For the first time, I felt dirty by being a woman. I think, like Oreoâ??s saying of how a womanâ??s greatest power is to make a man feel like a man, it works the other way around as well. A man can make a woman feel like a woman, and while some might argue differently, itâ??s just what I thought at the time that I read that quote. Things just went downhill for a bit, as I found that I hated my body and hated to be around my own father.

Umâ?¦this got longer than I thought it would, so Iâ??ll be wrapping it up for now and maybe revisit this later. To the point though, Iâ??ve gone a long way of recovery, and at the same time, things had turned out for the better. There are still some things that make me stray away from because of memories, but I try not to think too much about it and work on recovery. I suppose that because of this incident, I have issues about a lot of random things, which sadly, this chapter in my life led to something that affected the outcome of something that had been important in my life (of which Iâ??ll visit later, as Iâ??d like to rant and get that out of my stream too).

On a closing and brighter note though, I met my boyfriend a few years after this and from then, it had been a much easier road of recovery. Hmâ?¦should probably post something happy later, as itâ??s nice to balance out. Well, Iâ??d like to say thanks to MM as well, as he was right; the rant felt a bit relieving, and getting it out of my system lets me realize that I havenâ??t just drowned in bad pockets of my life.

<3

¤ And then...I found the Asian Messiah...¤​

So, I thought about posting something less depressing this time. Well, I guess itâ??s not so depressing now for me, but at the time of when it occurred, it was pretty crappy. Hmâ?¦in the most recent years, something great that happened in my life would have to be my boyfriend.

We apparently met in junior year in high school. Supposedly, as I donâ??t even remember him from that year. But then again, I think its because of my selective memory for such things. As I somewhat remember and of what heâ??s told me and others has told me, we were in the same English class. Junior English was almost an epic failure as we had substitutes that didnâ??t even speak English well. Now, Iâ??m not against non-native speakers, butâ?¦to teach an English class, I think itâ??s required to be able to speak without a heavy accent. I had troubles learning some things, and I couldnâ??t understand what she was talking about half of the time.

Well, he apparently had joined the NHS that I was part of that year as well, so that he could be near me. BF, for the sake of avoiding his name and titling him all sorts of things, told me he had liked me during that year, so he trailed me. I found it rather cute, like a puppy that would follow who they liked and hoped to get petted. So, basically, the entire year went by, and I barely noticed him. It wasnâ??t because I meant to be rude, but it was because he was the shy, geeky little Asian boy with glasses that just never spoke to anyone outside of his group. It was hard to notice someone if they didnâ??t talk to you often, right?

We did interact a bit though, as the group had to get together and work on projects. Apparently, he had gotten my phone numberâ?¦somehowâ?¦(I still question how the heck that happened, as I JUST got my cell phone that year, and no one had my numberâ?¦). School went and passed, and over the summer, we met each other ONCE (yes, just once) by accident. We were getting off of work and we had apparently worked in the same general area. His Max had troubles and stopped halfway, so by the time it got to my stop, he was still on itâ??usually, he would have been on the one before mine. So we saw each other and I do not know how, but I placed a name to a face and got it right. Whoots~ The meeting was brief, as we went our separate ways to go to the bus andâ?¦that was basically it for that summer. Nothing special in my mind, but he thought it was like fate or something.

Well, come senior year, weâ??re part of the NHS thing again, but this time, I was president of the club. I had to interact with the others much more, so I was able to talk to him and all that stuff. Barely even noticed him though, but I guess, this leads us to the DAY OF JUDGMENTâ?¦not really, but similar.

On such a day, we had to go to this nursery that was near our school, to get gardening supplies, as we were making a garden in honor of a security guard that had died during that year. It was fitting, so the entire club was working towards it. Admittedly, we had such a short time that it came out a bit hashed, but the years that were after us fixed it up well. Well, on that particular day, something magical happened. Sadly, no, it wasnâ??t rainbows and sunlight kisses. Rather, it was freezing (near end of fall and towards winter), and we were all clucking our teeth together while we suffered and tried to pick out the best topsoil for the garden.

When I saw that he didnâ??t know how to effectively warm up his handsâ??he was shaking them in the air and slightly rubbing them against his thighsâ??I walked over to him with intent to be a good Samaritan. Because Iâ??m just that coolâ?¦but not. Anyway, I cupped his hands within mine, held it close together as if he was cupping something as well, and showed him how to use your own breath to warm it up. We had long sleeves, so I told him that if he buried his hands in his sleeves and did the same thing, heâ??d warm up faster and keep warm longer.

And THATâ?¦was what made him get the courage to ask me out later that week. He thought I liked him, so he went ahead and gave me this green floppy disc that I donâ??t even remember lending to himâ??but apparently I did do so. BF was very insistent that I took it back, as he had written something on there for me. With the type of guy he is, I automatically thought that he was just thanking me, so I placed it in my backpack andâ?¦completely forgot about it. By the time I got home, it wasnâ??t until my friend called me and asked me to find a file, did I attempt to check that disc (by accident, as I couldnâ??t tell one disc from another) and found that word document he left me.

It was titled my name, and so I clicked and read. What entailed was the creepiest shit I had ever read. No joke. At first, it started off rather cute, as saying how he liked me since junior year. And then, it took a strange turn of how he had been interested in my personality, and how I interacted with things and people. So, instead of telling me in junior year, he just (and in his words) â??sat and stared at you. Watched you.â?â?¦ uhâ?¦can I say â??stalker?â? So I continue reading downwards, and lo and behold, he quotes the Bible on the â??loveâ??. Letâ??s say I panicked and called my friend back, asking â??wtf?!â??. Well, one thing led to another, and I ended up calling him later onâ?¦or well, textâ??ed him, and told him we could talk about it on Monday (as it was Friday when I got the disc).

By the time Monday came, we skipped lunch together and got out into a parking lot to talk. To be honest, I donâ??t remember what I even said, or what he said, but I know that from then on, we became BF/GF. However, what I DO remember from that was that literally after lunch (about 35 minutes), the ENTIRE Asian community knew we were together. He was like some Asian Jesus or something, and they were all staring. Least to say, I was freaked out. And so started the strange beginnings of BF and I, and it has been an odd road indeed. Heck, I just skipped a year or two of my escapee years, where I did a lot of random stuff that sent me into worlds I had never been exposed to. Butâ?¦thatâ??s for another idea and thought, as Iâ??d rather think of BF and I for happier thoughts.

<3