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To lost to sing? (Distain and nightsorceress)

Lily had not felt like eating for a couple of days, the thought of food just made her sick. Most of the day she had spent sitting in front of the fire place watching the flames dance. As she sat there came a knock at the door and she rose to answer it. She opened the door to see Namir stand there. "I asked you not to come here. I don't care what your reasoning is, But i have been through enough these past few weeks and i can not have you fluttering into my life again"
 
Namir looked into her eyes biting his lip lightly. "Please just let have a chance to explain myself. And pay my respects to both you and your father. I promise if after everything i have said you still wish to never see me again.... You wont even hear my name again."He looked into her eyes his fingers fidgeting nervously on something in his hand.
 
Lily shook her head "the lawyer told me what you were doing. and why you left me. And you should have known me better than to leave me behind for that, i would gone with you to help you be there for you. But instead you just leave. I thought i loved you. i guess now that was just some silly dream."
 
"I do love you! "He said blurting out before he could think."That theater... was not why i left you."His mouth stopped working again he was trying to explain it to her but he could not. "This is why i left you. "With that he ripped his shirt open buttons spraying her and the room behind her. A large pink inch thick scar spanned his stomach from one side to the other. Starting deep on either side nearly cutting him in half. With out a word he pulled his necklace off handing her the small locket opening it inside 2 tiny paintings one of him, the other a beautiful light skinned red haired woman."She was my wife, the mother of my son, the day after we had that made they died. This was my gift from the man who killed them before he died. " He pointed to his stomach tears streaming down his face. "I should be dead. Something kept me alive. When i started feeling for you... i felt like i was dishonoring her memory because being with you was keeping me from keeping my promise to her. "
 
Lily saw the scar she was shocked. Who and why would anyone do that to him. The he explained what happen to his wife. some of her anger had faded. "i'm sorry, but you should have told me, then i wouldn't have fallen so hard for you, I would have tried to just be friends with you. But the way you flirted and the way you cared made me believe that you were free to love."


((going to work))
 
Namir was losing his fight with himself to keep from crying as he looked at her. "I was not expecting to fall in love with you. "He lowed his head feeling like the scum of the earth. "When she found out she was pregnant, I was just a bard working the inns in Ireland. I was home a month a year at most. She made me promise that one day... when i could to build an inn in our home town and sing there. After she died i changed my name, changed my voice, i changed everything. But i had to keep that promise to settle down in my new home town and retire to a peaceful life of singing and sleeping at night in my own bed. "He looked into her eyes his hand shaking. "And i want you to retire to that small town with me. I wanted to return before your father passed so he could see you on stage. I am sorry i failed you there. "
 
Lily's head hung down. Her angry had faded as she looked up at him "Namir, you don't know how sorry i am for what happen to you. But asking me to move to that place you is not something i could do. I can't be just friends with you, i want more, i need more. My heart still cares about you as much as i don't want it to. I just don't know if you are free to love me the way i want to be loved. I don't want to always play second fiddle in your heart."
 
"Can i see where your father is buried? " He spoke softly looking at her."I would like to say good bye and continue to talk." He looked at her carefully taking back the pendant from her metal rattled lightly in his hands. He held a weak smile looking into her eyes he had only one way to show her how he felt about her.
 
Lily sighed softly "alright he is buried where the tree line starts. that was his face place to sit and rest after a long days work" she started walking towards her fathers grave. She didn't know what else to say or do.
 
Namir followed her with out a word saying a prayer in his mind. Once they had arrived at the grave Namir knelt down speaking softly to himself. He said good bye to her father then began to sing a soft sad song Lily had never heard before. As he sang he pulled a dagger from his boot and used it to dig a small half a foot deep hole. After cleaning the dagger and putting it away he laid the necklace and a small golden ring. As he finished the song he slipped the dirt over them and pressed it down. Once that was done he stood whispering. "Good bye my love I will always miss you. But i need to move on."He turned to Lily hoping she understood what he had done.
 
Lily watched as knelt to the ground. the words to his song were beautiful. The she saw the dagger come out of his book, she gasped a little not sure what he was doing. Lily watched as he dug a hole in the ground and placed a gold ring and a locket in the ground. "why did you do that. and if you were going to why didn't you place it with your wife?"
 
Namir stood and turned to her eyes filled with tears. "I do not know where she was buried. I... If you come home with me I will explain it on the way there I ... don't to talk about it now. "He spoke softly heading back to her house."Can i sleep here tonight. Even if you wish not to see me again after today can i sleep here. I don't have the energy to walk to town. "He spoke softly not certain just what she was going to say.
 
Lily looked down then up again as if she was thinking. "of course you can stay the night" she said softly and started to walk back to the house. Once at the house she looked at him "there is some stew if you would like something to eat"
 
He looked at her and smiled shyly his hand brushing against hers wanting to hold it. He wondered how much she new about him out side of what she had seen. "What stories had you heard about me before you met me that day?" He looked at her his fingers still playing against hers almost begging her to take his hand.
 
Lily felt his touch. something that she had missed these many months. "i have not heard much, i knew you were a great singer. And i heard some say you were handsome. that was about all though." she shrugged and fixed him a bowl of stew. "here you go"
 
With a sad sigh he took the stew and smiled."Thank you very much."He was grateful she had not heard about his promiscuous past. He moved to the table and sat down eating quickly he was staved and the stew was good."This tastes great thank you. "He looked at her wanting to hold her again but knowing she would probably never let him do that gain.
 
"i am glad you like it. there is more if you would like it" Lily took a seat next to him while he ate. She did not get any food for herself. she hadn't felt like eating for a couple of days. "So um how long are you staying?" she asked softly, she had a feeling knowing him he would live right away.
 
He looked up at her as he finished eating and looked up at her. "That depends really I am not sure."He wanted to tell her he was not going to leave with out her but he thought that it was far to soon. "I have something i need to take back with me. It really depends on that i guess."He hated having to twist his words with her but he had a feeling she knew he was talking about her.
 
Lily cocked her head to one side "and what do you need to bring back, perhaps i can help you. i know you don't want to be here longer than you have to" She bite lip a little. Lily hoped they would have more time to make up, perhaps even be friends again, but know that would not be.
 
He looked up at her staring into her eyes his heart melting as he did so."You. " He lowered his head and moved out into the other room setting on the couch he could not look at her anymore. He shook his head wondering just what he was doing why was he going threw this for a woman who hated him.
 
Her jaw dropped as he said that. Lily could not believe after all that happen that he would want her. She froze in her chair, but soon her legs started to move. and she followed him into the room "what, why, i thought after all that happen you would not want me with you anymore."
 
He yawned loudly wondering just what to say he was not certain what to do. "Because... You have a voice like an angel, you are the most beautiful woman i have ever met, and you treat me like a man not a celebrity. "He looked into her eyes nervously wanting so badly to make her understand how much that meant to him. "You are the first woman since i became Namir to not throw yourself at me. The first woman to not treat me like the singer but like the man. "He groaned looking into her eyes wanting to go to sleep but knowing he would not be able to any time soon.
 
"oh" she said softly. all of his reason were ok, but not the reasons she really wanted to hear. she hoped he would say he loved her. She couldn't nor wouldn't leave home just because of the reason he gave. "i can see you tired. you can take my bed. i think i am going to sit in front of the fire."
 
Namir shook his head and laid down on the couch yawning again."The only way i would lay in your bed is if you laid in it with me. Since that appears to be an impossibility then i will sleep on the couch. Feel free to watch the fire all you like i don't mind. "He closed his eyes relaxing already starting to drift of into a deep sleep. He truly did love this woman he was just to scared to tell her so.
 
Lily sighed has he made himself more comfortable on the couch. Instead of taking her normal seat in front of the fire she walked outside. she sat down on the ground looking up to the skies. She would normally sing to make herself feel better, but for sometime now she had not felt like singing a note.
 
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