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Would anyone review a sex scene that I wrote? (virgin IRL)

dachs1534

Supernova
Joined
Jun 19, 2015
I am a virgin IRL and I want to know how believable or realistic this sex scene I've written is.

I wrote a sexual scene for what I intend to be a full length novel. The sex scene is the ONLY part I'm willing to share because rest of it is in first rough draft stage (in other words so embarrassing I won't share it). If anyone is willing to just read the sex scene please send me a PM and I'll give it to you via google docs. The entire story (for context) is about an Italian American from Los Angeles, California with a heavy criminal background. He moves to the UK out of necessity because his criminal life in the states was catching up to him (a gang he used to a part of felt he betrayed them and wanted to take his life). He meets a very conventionally attractive woman in the UK that he meets via saving her from an assault from another man. She comes from a very prestigious background (she has a PhD from Cambridge, one of the top universities in the world and plus she has bloodlines to the royal family). Their backgrounds couldn't possibly be more different. Daniel (the guys name) also has a roman ancestor who was born a slave and then conscripted into the Roman military. Near the end of the book they come to terms with each other and discover each other. And Rose (the girl's name) also had an ancestor from that time period, and their ancient selves met each other while Daniel's ancestor was stationed in Britannia. Rose can offer Daniel help in getting his life together (as well as the myriad of other advantages of being with someone with those kinds of privileges and connections) and Daniel can protect her physically from just about anything.
 
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I'll also take a look. I'm not the most experienced myself but I do editing for people often enough that I have a sense for that part of the job, at least.
 
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