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Liliana's Stories and Fan fic.


May 22, 2015
Black Dagger Brotherhood solo/fan fic. Told from an adult Bitty.

Where once I found peace, I now find torment. Once this use to be a place of joy now. Nothing but hurt and pain linger here, for all of us. Nothing would ever be the same again. It has been only a few days, since he walked out. Walked out on his family, the people that stood by him through the loss of his mate, the death of his young. The family that had fought alongside him, and cared for him deeply. But he threw it all away. He wanted nothing to do with them, with me. It killed me to know that I wouldn’t see him anymore in the halls. I wouldn’t see his smiling face. Nothing would ever be as it was.

It killed me. He was my best friend, the male that I would go to when I couldn’t go to others. He was the one that I told everything to. And now he was gone. I didn’t know where he went. No one knew, not even Lass knew. Well, if he did he wasn't’ telling me. No matter how many times I asked him. He would just shake his head, there was a sadness always in his eyes. I begged him to tell me. But, he kept it to himself.

I hated it. The one male I had come to love, was gone. I never should have said those four little words to him. Never. It ripped my world apart. And now what do I have to show for it? Nothing. Just the loss that comes with watching the male you love drive away from you. As you screamed for him to come back and not leave. Yeah that was what happened. It still plays in my mind every day that he is gone.

I find myself standing in the same spot, I was froze to hours after he was gone. I mindlessly walk here. I don’t know why. I wish that I did. I wish there was a way to take all this pain away. But, it was the last thing that I had to hold onto. I guess there was a hope that I would see his car driving back to the mansion. However, each night I stood here, for hours, it never happened. It was the same tonight.

Time seemed to stop as I stood here. I didn’t know what was going on around me. I stared down the drive, though tonight I sat on the edge of the fountain. Hands resting on the hard stone beneath me. Hollow eyes fixed to the drive. The silence was deafening. Just once I wanted to hear his voice, once more. Though I knew that it would make me want for it to last forever. A endless moment in time, that I wouldn’t lose him. He would always be here. There would be no fear of losing him. I could hold onto him forever.

I didn’t even notice there was something watching me. I didn’t notice much anymore. His voice carried over the distance easy. “Sweet pea…” Tohrment never called me that, why was he starting now? It sounded wrong on his lips. My voice not my own fell from my lips. “Tohr, why you calling me sweet pea. Dad is the only one that calls me that. I don’t know why you’re starting now. It sounds wrong.” Shaking my head. “Sweet pea, it's me dad.” I almost laughed, “Tohr, that’s not..” Flickering my hollow eyes to the steps of the mansion. “You’re not.” I saw Tohrment standing there, blinking my eyes many times. He started to melt away. There in his place stood my dad. It was crushing for it not to be real. Sighing, “Hey dad.” I knew that worried look in his eyes. But, I couldn’t take it away. “Hey sweet pea, come inside. You’ve been sitting out here for hours.” This is where I wanted to be at the moment. I knew I would find myself here again. So why move? And tonight might just be the night that he comes home. “I can’t dad, he might come home. I have to be here when he does.” I looked back to the long driveway. I felt dad come over to me. “He might sweet pea. But it's getting cold, and you don’t want to get sick. You know he wouldn’t want you sick.” Sighing I didn’t make a move to get up. “I’ll be fine dad. Don’t worry about me. Tohr will be home soon.” I could hear him sigh, but I didn’t look up. I knew what I would see if I did. He reached down and took me in his arms. He didn’t say a word and I didn’t fight him. Letting my head rest on his shoulder. Deep down I knew Tohr wasn’t coming back. But I didn’t want to believe it just yet. It was to soon. To soon to say he was gone to me forever.

Dad carried me up the steps and into the mansion. Life at the mansion had to go on, I could hear some of my Uncles in the billiards room. That is where they spent their off nights. I could hear Aunt Beth talking to Uncle Wrath about something. I could hear Uncle V and Uncle Butch talk about the sox’s. After a few moments it all just became white noise to me. Someone stopped dad, “How is she?” I didn’t even look to the person that talked. They were male that is all that knew. I could feel dad shake his head. Then the male just sighed and walked away.

I took what comfort I could from dad. He was always there for me, since I was a child. I knew that he was worried about me. I didn’t want to worry anyone. Right now though, I couldn’t help myself. I felt hollow, not who I once was. I don’t think anyone knew what to do. My Aunt’s and Uncle’s tried their best. I loved them for it. I just didn’t know how to move on from this moment. And I didn’t dare ask anyone. Because right now, I didn’t want to move on, I didn’t want to let go of him. No, I was going to hold on as tight as I could. One day things would change. I just didn’t know when.

I didn’t know where dad was taking me. All I felt was him sitting down with me in his lap, pulling a blanket off of somewhere, and covering us both up. Some movie was playing in the background. It sounded like the Goonies. One of the movies me and dad enjoyed watching together. He held me in his arms. I didn’t watch the movie, but it was nice just to be there with dad. I curled into him and under the blanket. This was would my peace for a little while. Until the world come back to crush me. I would take what I could get right now. Even when my world was falling down.
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