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Behind the Mask (butterfly0408/Kolath)

She cuddled close to him, resting her head on his should and her hand upon his chest, "Cameron... I have to know. You can't magically return for the grave and not tell me how. Not after so many years of wondering. Everett said you went missing in battle. That's all I have had to hold onto for all these years. Please?"
 
At the mention of Everettâ??s name Cameronâ??s jaw tightened his eyes closing again. His fist clenched before he reached for a goblet of wine taking it and drinking it down in one long motion. â??He told you that did he?â? sighing the anger left his body as he turned to look at her kissing her hair. â??I suppose that was true I did go missing in battle, but Everett caused it.â? his finger came up brushing over the scar on his face, â??He and I fought that day I didnâ??t even know why till he stood over me, all he said what, â??now she will be mine,â?? before he pushed me down into that dry well.â?
 
Paige's hand had been gently stroking at his shirt a few moments before it suddenly stopped. Right as he got to the point. Everett. Why had she not seen it? In all these years? At once a hundred times she should have seen it rushed to her memory. She could kick herself for missing it every time. "He.... he tried to kill you....... and I... I was going to...." Paige pulled away and ended up sitting on the edge of the bed, "Oh Cameron, you must hate me."
 
He felt her starting to pull away and was quickly behind her his arms wrapping around her from behind holding her tight enough that she couldnâ??t get away if she tired. â??No no, I donâ??tâ?¦not now.â? He sighed nuzzling into her neck lightly. â??Paige I thought you had betrayed me too in my years of brooding on it but after what happened down stairs I knew how wrong I had been.â? He kissed her neck lightly sighing, â??Forgive me forever doubting you love.â?
 
"Downstairs?" she questioned quietly. She could not recall what happened down in his dining room as more that just a distance dream. It was cloudy and patchy to recall. Her subconscious just let it go as she sighed, "I will forgive you, my love, but only as long as you can forgive me."
 
His hand brushed over her side a finger lightly brushing over one of her breasts as he held her nuzzling in closer. â??Forgive you my love? For what? You have done nothing that I know of that requires forgiveness. Where as Iâ?¦I have.â?
 
A small shiver coursed for a moment through her as his finger made suggestions her body found it liked. "For giving up," she whispered. "For... for letting everyone tell me I had to move on and... and actually starting to believe that they were right. For promising to marry that monster." She looked down at her hand to the big, impressive ring Everett had put on her finger. It suddenly felt like it burned her skin and she reached out to grasp it, ripping it off, and hurling it across the room. The sound of it clinking across the floor as it landed.
 
He took her hand as it was now no longer adorned by the engagement ring. Lightly kissing the spot that was once covered by it he started to break down into tears nuzzling her hand lightly. It hurt so much that her she was throwing all that she had away for him and after allâ?¦ â??Forgive me, Paige, I gave up on ever being with you againâ?¦when I heard you were engagedâ?¦I no longer waited for you.â? He buried his face into he shoulder.
 
She did not say any words, only the sound of a very small, shocked gasp could be heard from her. Her whole body went tense. Dear God, he REALLY had to have hated her! She had waited all this time, not even pleasuring her self with his memory for the thought of betraying his love and memory in some way! She had delayed her wedding for three YEARS finding reason after reason so she would not have to be with Everett in the way she only ever wanted Cameron to be. All that, thinking he was dead. He had known very well that she was alive and just... even if for a moment, only a moment, stopped loving her enough to give up the promise they had made one another. She didn't know what to say. Should she be mad at him? Should she be mad at herself? "Who?" was the only reply she could seem to form in her shock.
 
He sighed deeply still crying against her shoulder. He had felt her tense and knew how much this had shocked her. â??That is what is worseâ?¦I donâ??t even remember.â? He sighed slowly slipping off the bed and moving around standing with his back to the wall looking at her. â??Iâ?¦Paigeâ?¦you need to know when I was reported deadâ?¦it was because the other men in my platoon were all the ones who had tried to kill me.â? He sighed looking down at his hands for a moment, â??I caught up to one of them early on and he pleaded for his life giving me information on the othersâ?¦â? he looked up tears in his eyes again rolling down his cheeks. â??He told me you had been one of the main people that had wanted me dead, so you could get a richer man, then I saw the engagement announcement for you and Everettâ?¦I was blind with rage I didnâ??t know what I was doing.â? He sighed looking down again.
 
The look on Paige's face changed drastically the moment he mentioned his suspicion that she was in on the plot to kill him. It might have been the same look he would have gotten if he had actually reached his hand into her chest and ripped her heart out. She even had to clutch her breast there in the shock. "You........ you thought that I would..." her eyes started to fill with tears, face going pale, "that I would have wanted you....." she tilted her head up to look him right in the face, "How could you think I would EVER be a part of such a thing? Did you even come to look for me? To ask me for yourself?" Her face lowered in to look to the floor again, "Apparently not. All anyone had to do was look at me to know I was devastated. I have not smiled once since you went missing. And you thought that.... I..." she put her hands over her face and could not help but weep. This was even worse then thinking him dead. It was knowing he was alive and thinking so little of her to believe it was the truth.
 
His heart broke again as she began to weep, it was nothing like the feeling of betrayal that he felt when he had been told she had betrayed him and then the proof came in the form of that announcement. Stepping over to her his hands came up softly but firmly taking her shoulders pulling her close leaning his forehead against her hair. â??I know now, it was foolish Paige I never should have doubted your love; but I was told that less than a week after the war ended, and before the month was out there was news of your engagement to Everett. What was I to think?â?
 
"That's a lie!" she snapped throwing her head back to look up at him. Suddenly she felt like she was on trial, defending herself. "Everett ASKED me to marry him time and time again, but I never said yes until I didn't have a choice! It was 8 months after I finally accepted you were not coming back! The lands failed that winter my family was going to be on the streets! I would have done it, but my parents would have died living like that! I had to agree to marry him so he would aid us and save them! It was eight months damnit! Not a week!" Now she was not only upset, but mad as well.
 
He pulled back looking at her as the words of accusation crossed her lips with almost venom on them. He growled his eyes flashing hard as all his old suspicion came flooding back over him the only thing keeping it back was the truth that she was still a virgin. â??I donâ??t care what story you have made up for yourself to salve your conscious! I saw the announcement with my own eyes I still have the thing it rips my soul out every time I see it and think about what I did!â? he growled still holding her tight by the arms but losing some of the softness, as he became mad as well.
 
The rage was wild now as she stood to yell back it him, "You don't trust me! You say you love me but you won't trust me! It was MONTHS Cameron! I mean, don't you think I would know how many nights I cried myself to sleep thinking about you! I would remember how many times I thought about joining you? The only thing stopping me was that I thought you loved me to much to want me to do such a thing! It seems I was wrong! I should have done it long ago! You don't love me and Everett was only lying to get between my legs! What do I have now!?"
 
His hands tightened on her arms growling deeper. Pulling away from her he went over to his desk and throwing everything on the floor he pulled out one thing a old and weathered paper used to post announcements on a village public board. His eyes were on fire as he came back over to her looming above her, â??How could it have been months!? When I spent months after I saw this regretting what I had done in my anger even though I was sure you were already in Everettâ??s bed!â? he held the paper in front of her face forcing her to look at the bold print stating the engagement of Everett to her less than a week after the war ended. â??How am I supposed to keep loving you after seeing that!?â? he grabbed her arms again this time being very rough as he pulled her around and pushed her back against the wall though it was hard it was not enough to hurt her. his fist slammed into the wall just a little bit above her shoulder breaking into it a little as he cursed. â??But as much as I tried to hate you for what seemed to be a clearly defined betrayalâ?¦after that initial rage and stupid actâ?¦I could only love you with all my heart and hope that something wasnâ??t right!â? tears of anger and sadness mixed on his cheeks as he ripped up at himself inside.
 
There were times during the struggle from one side of the room to the other, the force and the shoving of the paper in her face that she tried to fight back and refuse to follow him, but he was to strong for her. She was like a ragdoll in her hands. Before she could say anything, a knock came at the door. "Lord Montros! Is everything alright?" called a servant.

There was silence for a moment before she meekly whispered, "This is me, telling you that that ISN'T right....... yet you still won't believe me...."
 
He looked up at her barely registering the knock as he looked into her eyes nodding slightly. â??Yâ?¦yes Markle everything is fine.â? He leaned his head forward pressing it against her forehead sighing deeply. â??I do believe you Paige, I can see the truth of what you are saying in your eyes, I always could.â? He paused breathing deeply, â??But I donâ??t know how to rationalize the truth you tell me with what I saw at that timeâ?¦how can both beâ?¦â? he stopped his head snapping back again as realization dawned on him, â??That son of a orc, I will make him pay for this.â? His hands had softened on her arms she could easily move again and he wouldnâ??t stop her.
 
Her blood was still boiling, but having him rest his forehead against hers was almost strangelly soothing. It always had been in the past. She had missed the power he had over her to make her feel. Just feel. Even as he pulled back, she was still resting so calmly, daring to wrap her arms around him and rest her head upon his chest, ignoring it all.
 
He felt her wrap her arms around him and it cooled the rage that was boiling near the surface for Everett clearly the man that had planned to make everyone think she was engaged to him. he reached up stroking her hair sighing softly as he held her close again for the second time. He nuzzled into her hair softly, â??Iâ??m sorry Paigeâ?¦I never meant to doubt you, and I was so scared to come back here and see you happy with someone else.â? He sighed again gently lifting her chin to look at him, â??I should have known that it was too farfetched to be true. I know you better then that you would never betray me for any reason, let alone something so petty as money.â? He leaned in slowly to kiss her lips but giving her plenty of time to pull away.
 
She did not pull away at allShe didn't pull back. She only leaned in closer, deepening the kiss. She was so desperate for his lips, his love, she could not care anymore about anything but this. "I love you," she whispered against his lips before going back into the kiss. "I love you," she whispered once more when she hand the chance, diving back again for more kisses. More love. She needed to be reminded that he loved her.
 
He was right with her gasping out I love yous between kisses. He pulled her away from the wall as the kissing continued. It wasnâ??t long before he fell back on his bed his hands staying wrapped around her to pull her down with him as they had often in the hay loft of her fatherâ??s barn. He kissed her again, â??I love you so much Paige, forgive me I never mentâ?¦â?
 
"Mmm, pardon me...." kisses, "for saying this.... but..." more kisses, "shut up Cameron! LATER! Talk later!" She was starting to get a little wilder. Again, just like in the hay loft.
 
He smiled not being able to agree more. His hands brushed up into her hair gently working the combs and braids out letting it fall loose and free through his fingers as he kissed her deeply. He pulled her close deepening the kiss pouring his love into the only woman he had ever loved and wanted to show her just how much.
 
Soon he was laying under a sort of veil of her hair. The long golden locks cascading down all around his face and hers as she lay over him, glancing down at him as she occasionally pulled back between her kisses to mutter her words of love. But her face was still filled with tears and they started to overtake her words. Eventually, she could not speak anymore. She could barely even kiss him, so she moved to rest her head against his chest, crying softly as she lay there, her hair sprawling out over his chest.
 
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