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Is anyone else REALLY tired of being ignored?

M

matttheman89

Star
Joined
Jun 12, 2017
Seriously, I can't think of much else that bugs me this much besides being ditched in the middle of an RP. It's incredibly rude and makes me feel like I've not only wasted my time, but that apparently I'm not worth their time as well. Is it that difficult to simply write back and say "No, thank you."? Is it that difficult to use a little common courtesy? I'm a person, damn it. Don't act like I don't exist, please. Especially when you're the one asking for people to come to you in the request threads in the first place.
 
I try to tell myself people can miss seeing posts or messages that can make for awkwardness at times on any forum or even when corresponding by email, when I don't hear from them in a timely manner.
 
Being ignored or getting no replies is part and parcel of RP, unfortunately. Rather than try to dwell on it, I find it best to move on. It sucks for sure, especially if it's a plot/partner you really wanted to write with, but overall it's something you have to sort of acknowledge as being a constant. Even with handles attached to usernames, there's a sense of anonymity and being able to just 'ignore' someone makes it a lot easier for people to do.

Personally it sucks when it happens to me, but I always seek to be optimistic about partners.
 
Yeah...getting no replies through a game - it happens. Don't sweat it.

What really gets my goat, though, are those people who bump their request threads daily...then don't bother replying to you when you take the time to express interest in writing with them because of their request thread.
 
Sync said:
What really gets my goat, though, are those people who bump their request threads daily...then don't bother replying to you when you take the time to express interest in writing with them because of their request thread.
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Yep.

Well I suppose they're too lofty to reply to plebeians like me in that case.

Though, back when I was a mod, I found it happened significantly less.
 
The excuses are the worst part as well as the honesty. When I wrote my guide on how to do a proper rp search one of the first things I mentioned was that you have to be honest with your partner but apparently that is not as common as I thought.
 
ShyRPer said:
I try to tell myself people can miss seeing posts or messages that can make for awkwardness at times on any forum or even when corresponding by email, when I don't hear from them in a timely manner.
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That's true. There's just that awkward interim where I'm wondering--if I bump now, will I appear pushy or impatient?

There was one time a few years back when the GM of a game elsewhere left, and I was in a bad mood and ended up going on a rant about it. Then it turned out they'd been in hospital having life-saving spinal surgery. Whoops. So now, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
 
It's part and parcel of roleplaying. Get used to it, block and blacklist the ones who ghost you for no real reason and move on. If you dwell on it, rant about it or generally just continue whining, then you'd be ruining your own roleplaying experience. I have a partner who hasn't replied in a month, but is online everyday, but I'm willing to wait. Another just replied after 2 weeks, just be patient.

Also, do other things besides roleplaying. Play games. Watch a movie. Partners have lives and so should we. It makes the waiting around a lot easier.
 
A partner having real life stuff happening I have no problem putting things on hold or just slowing down. As I tell everyone, I'm patient to the nth degree. All I ask is the occasional note to tell me you're still out there. I'm easy! :D <looks at Sync> No comments from the peanut gallery! :p

Being abandoned though... Those are the shits. One out there started great and slowly slowed down to one a month. I nudged occasionally and might get something or not. When I do get something the posts are great! <shrug> Good thing, least for me, is they are few and far. Most are great writers and people.
 
Another thing I’ve noticed is honesty is slim, including that from myself.

If someone messages me and asks to RP and I don’t think we will be a good match (Determining that from their posts and how they send the introduction) I would rather ignore them than get a “Well eff you!” When I say I don’t think we will be a match. I don’t know who will blow up on me or not when I say no. Even if you say it politely people still get offended. It’s like walking on thin glass a bit.
 
People can't always take rejection well. It's probably one of the things that separates grown ups from Grown Ups, especially on RP sites. I have turned people down for RP on this site and elsewhere, and the fact that they can go from decent to jerks at the drop of a hat does make it hard to try to keep that honesty going. As of late i've been trying hard to keep being honest though, I feel its a better policy.
 
What bothers me most is when you send a request to someone who has just bumped their search thread and they never respond. Why bother having a search thread if you're going to ignore every request?

And another thing I really hate is unclear search threads, but that's another topic for discussion.
 
What I also hate is when you start something with someone or get really deep into planning the story with someone, and then they suddenly start ignoring you. That's even worse than being ignored from the get go. They're giving you false hope. It's even worse when you see them bumping their search thread the next day. That's the height of rudeness.
 
The Quill said:
What I also hate is when you start something with someone or get really deep into planning the story with someone, and then they suddenly start ignoring you. That's even worse than being ignored from the get go. They're giving you false hope. It's even worse when you see them bumping their search thread the next day. That's the height of rudeness.
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This. All my fucking feels.
 
The Quill said:
What I also hate is when you start something with someone or get really deep into planning the story with someone, and then they suddenly start ignoring you. That's even worse than being ignored from the get go. They're giving you false hope. It's even worse when you see them bumping their search thread the next day. That's the height of rudeness.
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That's about summed up the last handful of folks that've contacted me. Really discouraging, honestly.
 
I can't speak for everyone, but having experienced both sides of the coin (Ignoring people and being ignored) I'd like to voice the other perspective.

I've had a few experiences where an attempt to politely turn someone down resulted in crazy stalker antics, it sucks and it's not fair. Being rejected can suck especially if you personally can't see a reason why but regardless of the reason you're given, there's always a reason. Sometimes the vibe isn't right, someones a mismatch of preferences is a deal breaker. I still make a habit of atleast telling people I don't think it will work out but I also have a list of immediate deal breakers that will result in not responding, I'm sure other people have similar rules.

In the past if I messaged someone about their request thread and I didn't get a response back, i accepted that there was something about my approach or my preferences that put them off, and that's fine because I've been on the other side where I see a request and I immeidately don't feel a vibe, I'll turn it down or ignore. It happens to us all, then we press on to the next adventure. <3
 
I'd rather read a no thank you or anything for that matter than be ignored or a new term to me ghosted after engaging in discussion on any subject. I try to do the same than to ignore someone or ghost them.
 
The Quill said:
What I also hate is when you start something with someone or get really deep into planning the story with someone, and then they suddenly start ignoring you. That's even worse than being ignored from the get go. They're giving you false hope. It's even worse when you see them bumping their search thread the next day. That's the height of rudeness.
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If it happens once I might feel it is being rude, but with so many people experiencing it, I think it's more like a trend than rudeness. Perhaps people have gotten so use to acting that way online, they don't even believe they are being rude anymore. I know some feel that sudden silence is better than typed or spoken rudeness.
 
I've tried not to take things too personally. If I get rejected or ghosted, and the follow up pokes don't receive a response, I let it go and go find something new to fill the slot. Obviously it would suck if you were deep into the roleplay already, but what's the alternative? Become bitter and jaded? Do it to somebody else because "hey, he did it to me so I'll do it to you"? I dunno.
 
ShyRPer said:
I'd rather read a no thank you or anything for that matter than be ignored or a new term to me ghosted after engaging in discussion on any subject. I try to do the same than to ignore someone or ghost them.
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Agreed. Made an offer to someone that I thought would be perfect because we sounded the same in stories. Got a polite no thanks and that's okay. Still like their stuff.
 
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