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It's Time To Be Brave (Orion & Amaranthine)

It was reasonable to skeptical - no one lived to see this day without facing their fair share (or more than their fair share) of hardships. Had Alison mentioned that she wasn't quite comfortable with the idea of heading to Alexandria, Tara wouldn't have found herself surprised. Back when she had first found out about the place she had been skeptical too - the promise of a sanctuary after weeks on the move, trekking all the way from Georgia to Washington in hopes of finding security? Of course she had doubts when that security finally seemed like it might have arrived. She was always glad that she had taken the risk, though. It had been her safe haven after the storm.

The trip back home took several hours after they had left and overall Tara spent it trying to be cheerful and happy - maybe even break the so-far reserved girl out of her shell a little bit. It was just in her nature to be happy and friendly, and that would become very obvious very quick. She went on about how she and her friends had come across the safe zone months back, and how the people there had almost exclusively been amazing (she left out some detail when it came to the less than desirable members, though). She had been all smiles as they finally pulled up to the gate - until she saw the grim expression on Eugene's face, and he started to cry as they reached each other.

Over the next few minutes, Tara's life fell apart. Everything she had been holding since she left was gone - her best friend, Glenn, and her girlfriend, Denise, had both died. To make things even worse, it had been at the hands of someone they had sworn they had killed - Negan.
 
At first this new home looked like it truly could be something fantastic - until the name she never wanted to hear again was spewed from a man's lips. It was in this moment that a connection was made in Alison's brain: this was the community that she had overheard being talked about by Negan and the other higher-ranked members of the Saviors. They had wiped out an entire outpost, and in turn lost two of their own. Alison could forgive them for the deaths of those at the outpost with ease, but she could not forget what all this meant: Alexandria was not safe for her. Negan would return to take what he called "his" and there was little that anyone could do about it.

She didn't say anything yet. She didn't know how to say anything, especially not after the kindness Tara had shown her. While she did not outright lie, her silence was misleading. She should have spoke up then, but Ali did not. Instead, after all was said and done, she moved in to give Tara a hug. "I'm so sorry about your friends," she offered apologetically as she rubbed the brunette's back. "I know that you were really excited to see them again."
 
Tara's heart was broken - undeniably. She was left in tears as her friends told her of her losses, and the brunette fell to her knees in devastation. Tears welled in to her eyes until they overflowed, seeping down her face in a stream that only seemed to grow stronger with each passing second. Sobs escaped her lips and she couldn't keep her body from shaking - at the same time she had an intense, overwhelming urge to puke. Luckily she was able to hold that one back.

It was Eugene that pulled her to her feet and told her that things weren't over. Things couldn't be over - and Tara agreed. In that moment she became truly vengeful for the first time in her life, and she had a new goal in her life: to end the man who had ended her friends. After walking in to her house, she invited Alison to follow along, talk started to fall. Rosita was coming up with a plan, and Tara wanted in on it. Only after everyone left did she turn to Ali again. "I'm sorry about that - we're usually a lot friendlier. It just.. some really bad stuff happened here, and I'm sorry that I dragged you somewhere unsafe. I didn't mean to, I swear."
 
This was all crazy. Alison was devastated to find out that Tara's loved ones were dead, but with every second that passed she just got more nervous. In the end, the last place she should be was right where she was. How was she supposed to say that, though? How was she supposed to tell this caring, compassionate woman who had offered a home to a stranger in need that she had come from the place that had wiped out her loved ones? In that moment, Tara wasn't the only one who felt like she was about to vomit - Alison did was well.

She stayed quiet until everyone else was gone, though. Tara was the only person she knew even the slightest, and she wasn't about to tell her story to a while group of strangers. In her grief, Tara alone may still be a bad call. "no, no - don't apologize," she said in hopes of quelling the brunette's worries. "I'm... so sorry that this happened to you. I know you were really excited to get home. I'll do anything that I can to make things easier."
 
Being alone somehow just made her feel worse, and as the blonde offered her comfort Tara fell in to her. Her arms wrapped tight around Alison's waist as her head rested on her shoulder, and in that moment she couldn't help but stain Ali's top with her tears. No words would ever make this okay - her best friend was gone, the love of her life as well. Two people she had trusted with her life she would never see again - she didn't even get to say goodbye, she didn't even get to go to their funerals.

What could she even say now? "Nothing's going to make this easier," she sobbed as she struggled to regain some control over herself. "Man, Ali - you would have loved them. They were such good people. Now... Nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing left and my bed is going to be empty and this house is and-" she'd started to ramble, lost in grief. She would dread that she had reacted this way when she calmed down.
 
"I'm sure that I would have," Ali agreed as she ran her hands through Tara's hair. It was a soft thing, meant to be comforting. All she could do at this point was hope to give he new friend some solace amongst the storm that had hit. It had become crystal clear that she needed to wait before saying anything about her past - but she didn't know if she would prefer to be kicked out for it or allowed to stay at this point.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Ali asked, as she figured that was the best call.
 
There really wasn't anything thst could be done. Tara had to mourn her losses, and nothing was going to bring her people back to her. Waves of emotion flooded her system and she couldn't think completely straight - Glenn was dead. Denise was dead. Everyone was in trouble because they'd had one job and they'd done it wrong. This was their own fault - her own fault.

And she just desperately didn't want to be alone right now - the fact that she was came as a consuming thought to Tara. Maybe she wasn't thinking straight, but she was able to come up with something. "Can you... Stay? Here? It was just me and Denise here, this place is... I just don't want to be alone please. Stay."
 
Stay with her? Did Tara mean in her home or her bed? Alison wasn't very sure - she also wasn't in a good place to say no to anything. The blonde kept holding on to the distraught woman in her arms as long as Tara wanted it.

"Of course," she agreed. Given that she was naturally a caregiver, it was hard to avoid pressing a kiss to the brunette's forehead. That felt a little out of place, though. "I'll do whatever you want, Tara. I don't mind staying here."
 
Tara didn't even know what she meant, she just knew that she needed to feel someone's presence in this moment. For the first time in what had now been an hour she was able to crack a smile - albeit a forced, feeble one.

"Thank you." She was completely, wholly appreciative of her new friend in that moment. Her grief was not Alison's to bear, yet the blonde carried in on her shoulders with grace. What had even gotten in to her? Tara had handled loss with ease in the past. This kind of reaction was... Intense. Either way, she sniffled and then finally backed away from the girl. "It... It means more to me than you can know - that you'll stay. I've never been here on my own."
 
Alison was genuine about wanting to help Tara feel a bit better, even if she wasn't very pleased about the community that she was in. The place seemed pleasant enough, but no amount of pleasant would change that Negan's presence loomed over here as well.

"Of course - it's no problem at all. I wouldn't want to be alone right now either... My brother, after all. I might not know he's dead, but he chances are..." She wasn't wrong. Tara wasn't the only one to lose a loved one now, and that was on Ali's mind as well.
 
Right - Alison had just been split from her own loved one. Somehow that thought helped Tara out a little bit - not because she enjoyed other peoples' grief, but because perhaps that meant she was the only one here who didn't want to be alone tonight. That was all that she could think about - how lonely this place was going to be now. Was it wrong to want to ask Alison to move in? Sure it didn't make sense for her to have the entire place to herself, but at the same time could she really ask someone to just shack up with her? She wanted to, though. Tara didn't want to stay in this house alone.

For now, though, one night would have to do. When morning came they could figure something out, something more permanent, but for now she could at least spend one night with someone. They could pass out together on opposite sides of the couch for all Tara cared. "I'm... I'm so sorry about that," Tara said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Do you want something to eat? I said I'd get you something to eat once we got here but I got... distracted. I'm so sorry." It was a blatant attempt to change the topic.
 
"There's no need to apologize," Alison assured. She had her chance to be weak and she had known for three days now that there was the chance she would never see Colton again. Tara had just found out that she had lost not one but two of her loved ones an hour ago. These were people that she had been sure she would lay her eyes on again. Of course she was going to be hurting, and Ali would never fault her for that.

"I wouldn't mind something to eat, as long as you will as well." She said that because she knew that grief came with the overwhelming pit in the stomach. The last thing anyone needed in this day and age was to willingly quit eating - as long as the food was there, preemptively starving one's self was a poor idea. "I can even make it if you want. You said that you guys have working kitchens here?"
 
"Mhm," Tara returned as she followed the girl in to her kitchen, She didn't mind doing the cooking - that meant she would have distraction from everything else going on around her. She also wouldn't say no to a hand, though. They would be able to talk and she could have someone somewhat close - it was all better than being by herself.

However, it didn't take long for Tara to realize just how hard the saviors had hit in their visit. Her cupboards may never have been truly fully, but now they were stark empty. Someone had come in and taken everything - which just made her want to cry all over again. As she stood with her hands on the cupboard doors she turned to her guest. "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize... We can go find something. That's no problem."
 
Tara looked so completely devastated that there was little for Alison to do other than step away from the cupboards and place her hand on the woman's hips. "Hey, it's alright," she assured - it felt like she would be doing a lot of that in the near future. Ali wasn't bothered by that. "I'm not really that hungry, so we don't need to worry about it right now. If you want we can go down to the pantry - I'm assuming you guys have one? - and grab something for later. I really don't mind." Alison spoke with honesty, and she hoped that Tara would see the truth in her soft smile.

This place wasn't where she wanted to be, but this woman needed a friend. Maybe, at least for a while, they could find a way to work around the obvious problem of Negan. Maybe they could even band together to put an end to the cruel man himself - though that sounded like nothing more than a pipe dream.
 
Tara wasn't even hungry - the grief didn't leave any room for food, and sustenence was barely a thought in her own mind. It was just another lovely touch that added to the catastrophic nature of the moment, and she was supposed to be able to help someone right now. She had offered Alison a safe place to just be and recover and maybe find her brother again one day, but there was no way to do that any more. The worst had already come down on them.

"Yeah, um... Let's go." She really doesn't want to eat, especially seeing how hard her own home had been hit - the four walls that she was supposed to feel safest in, now bare of her beloved and the little that the group had been able to scrounge together. Tara climbed to her feet to do the right thing, to get Alison some damn food even though the woman was insisting that she didn't want anything right now. Unfortunately the pantry itself would be stripped of almost everything as well.
 
Alison's heart broke seeing Tara look so sad, but there wasn't anything that she was going to be able to do about it. In fact, if she tried to speak up about her own experiences she would likely make Tara feel worse for having met her. It was a hard spot to be in. Alison saw so much good in Tara, so much happiness; her bubbly personality and need to bring light to others reminded Alison of the girl she had been with when the dead had first risen, Laura. People like that did not deserve to be broken down by the evil in the world.

The trip to the pantry was short and sweet - as expected there was next to nothing waiting for them there. The pair grabbed a can of chicken soup before heading back to their little residence, and then tried their best to settle in. Tara was in a worse off state than she was, so Alison got the stove running and once it was ready, she brought a bowl of soup over to the brunette. "I know that you don't want to eat and I understand why, but starving yourself won't bring anyone back. You should eat," she said as she placed the bowl down on the coffee table.
 
It was hard not to be a little fucked up. Death and suffering had been commonplace over the years and everyone had grown desensitized to it, but that didn't change how hard it could hit when it struck close to home. After showing Ali around, Tara curled up on to a couch in her living room, some of the only furniture left in the whole house. How many times had she sat on this very couch before, cuddled up to Denise?

While Alison kept herself busy, Tara allowed the grief to flow through her. The only way to not dwell on it was to let it just be - to feel it in all its power, let it throw through her veins, and in time the pain would lessen. She ended up being pulled away from her moment by the soft voice of the blonde that she had found, and Tara turned her head to look towards Alison. There was soup... Ali was right, she wasn't hungry, but it was a small token of care.

"... Thank you," she mumbled before leaning towards the table and grabbing the bowl. She had to fight herself to even take a bite, but Alison was right. Not eating was not going to bring anyone back. Come tomorrow, she might even be able to start planning how to get revenge on the saviors and bring and end to Negan and his path of destruction.
 
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