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Which OC would?

I deleted some of these, because Xana’s answers were spot on for them...

Sigurd: I wanna spice things up!
Thora: You know I’m allergic to chili.
Sigurd: I MEANT in the bedroom.
Thora: I can’t eat it anywhere in the house, Sigurd.


Sam: I’m a lesbiab.
Sam: Lesbiem.
Sam: Less bien.
Jackie: It’s okay, take your time.
Sam: Girls.

Sam: Being gay isn't a choice
Kieran lifts up Sam like a trohpy: It's a game and I am winning.
(There’s a whole thing behind this that may or may not ever happen...)

Erik: are you wearing my old shirt?
Sam: no.
Erik: …um
Sam: Ah’m wearin’ mah new shirt.
Erik: …
Sam: As in Ah stole yer shirt and you ain’t getting it back.
Sam: ...
Sam: ‘Course, yer welcome ta try...

Matthias: I like your new outfit
Rielle: thanks, it was 50% off
Matthias: I’d like it better 100% off
Rielle: the store can’t just give clothes away for free-
Matthias: that’s not what I meant
Rielle: -that’s a terrible way to run a business Hugh.

Algernon: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Colin: What if it bites me and it dies?
Algernon: That means you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Colin, learn to listen.
Sam: What if it bites itself and I die?
Algernon: It’s voodoo.
Kieran: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Algernon: That’s correlation, not causation.
Anne Marie: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Algernon: That’s kinky.

Anne Marie: I did something terrible.
Algernon: It’s okay, I have a shovel.
Anne Marie: Wait, what? What do you think I did?
Algernon: It doesn’t matter. No one will ever know.

Colin: My kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what i have to say.
Sam: Too unrealistic. Stick to bondage, like the rest of us.

Sue: Go tell her she’s cute. What’s the worst that could happen?
Willam: She could hear me.

Sam: So you’re dating Kieran, huh? Why?
Kieran: I’m right here.
Colin: Why not? Wouldn’t have been my first choice, but the universe has funny ways.
Kieran: Still. Here.

Captain Jack: Let's go get a drink.
Jenny: John, it's eight o'clock in the morning...
Captain Jack: Well, we'll get eggs too!

Shrikee: *unbuttons shirt* Damn it’s hot in here.
Quentin: Yeah, it is, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?

May, hiking: Man, it’s beautiful out here today. I love Mother Nature!
Jack, out of breath: MOTHER NATURE’S A WHORE.

Mercy: Marilyn, wake up
Marilyn: I’m not sleeping, I’m dead. Please leave flowers and get out

Captain Jack: When have I done anything rash or irresponsible?
Jenny: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.

Kieran, trying to end an argument: what, are you on your period?
Sam: i started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood, is that how you would like to end yours?

Aurelia: In your opinion what’s the height of stupidity?
Justine turning to Jeoram: How tall are you

Jack: When I first met you, I didn’t like you.
Max: I’m aware of that.
Jack: But then, you and I spent some time together.
Max: And?
Jack: It did not get better.

Fayette: There’s something I need to get off my chest.
Esmerelda: Is it your shirt? Please say yes.

Mara: Do twins ever think about the fact that one of them was unplanned? Do they think about which ONE was the accident?
Luke: I mean, pro-
Leia: I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY. IT WAS ME.

Will TurnerI thought you were dead.
Captain Jack: Do I look like the kind of man who dies?

Sam: wanna come early for lunch? maybe a quickie?
Erik: it's pronounced 'quiche'

Will: Can I tell you a secret?
Captain Jack: I wouldn’t recommend it, no.

Afodesia l: …the important thing is that you learned something.
Verrier: No, I didn’t.

Sam: Ah didn't drink that much last night
BD: You were flirting with Jackie
Sam: So what? She's mah girlfriend
BD: You asked her if she was single
Hackie: And cried when I said I wasn't

Algernon: What’s your blood type?
Sam: How would Ah know?
Algernon: How would you not?!
Sam: Who am Ah, Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood groups?
Algernon: You don’t know your OWN blood type, BUT YOU KNOW WHO DISCOVERED THEM?!
 
Corsair and Xana have been pretty spot-on, so here's maybe some alternatives? Some deleted because they were already perfect, one modified.

Sam: I wanna spice things up!
Erik: You know I’m allergic to chili.
Sam: I MEANT in the bedroom.
Erik: I can’t eat it anywhere in the house, Sam


Jackie: I’m a lesbiab.
Jackie: Lesbiem.
Jackie: Less bien.
Kieran: It’s okay, take your time.
Jackie: Girls.

Algernon: are you wearing my old shirt?
Anne Marie: no.
Algernon: …um
Anne Marie: I’m wearing my new shirt.
Algernon: …
Anne Marie: As in I stole your shirt and you aren’t getting it back.


Jack: I like your new outfit
May: thanks, it was 50% off
Jack: I’d like it better 100% off
May: the store can’t just give clothes away for free-
Jack: that’s not what I meant
May: -that’s a terrible way to run a business, Jack.


Jenny: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
John: What if it bites me and it dies?
Jenny: That means you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, John, learn to listen.
Will: What if it bites itself and I die?
Jenny: It’s voodoo.
John: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Jenny: That’s correlation, not causation.
Will: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Jenny: *with a look* That’s kinky.


Fenny: I did something terrible.
Hamish: It’s okay, I have a shovel.
Fenny: Wait, what? What do you think I did?
Hamish: It doesn’t matter. No one will ever know.


Erik: My kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what i have to say.
Anne Marie: Too unrealistic. Stick to bondage, like the rest of us.


Colin, arresting someone: You have the right to remain–
Kieran: A loser!
Colin: Nice.
Colin: But now, legally, I have to start over, Kieran.


Bastien: Go tell her she’s cute. What’s the worst that could happen?
Olivia: She could hear me.


Sam: I’m having some boy troubles.
Anne Marie: Just remember the quickest way to any man’s heart is through the fourth and fifth rib.


Hamish: Let's go get a drink.
Fenny: Hamish, it's eight o'clock in the morning...
Hamish: Well, we'll get eggs too!


Anne Marie: *unbuttons shirt* Damn it’s hot in here.
Algernon: Yeah, it is, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?


John, hiking: Man, it’s beautiful out here today. I love Mother Nature!
Jenny, out of breath: MOTHER NATURE’S A WHORE.


Viola: Olivia wake up
Olivia: I’m not sleeping, I’m dead. Please leave flowers and get out


Algernon, Holding up a broken coffee pot: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.
Erik: I did. I broke it...
Algernon: No. No, you didn’t. Samantha?
Sam: Don’t look at me. Look at Kieran.
Kieran: What?! I didn’t break it.
Algernon: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
Kieran: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
Algernon: Suspicious.
Kieran: No, it’s not!
Kieran: If it matters, probably not... Colin was the last one to use it.
Colin: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
Kieran: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Colin: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Kieran!
Erik: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Algernon.
Algernon: No. Who broke it?
Sam [whispering]: Professor, Madame LaMonte been awfully quiet...
Anne Marie: Really?!
Sam: Yeah, really!
*everyone starts arguing*
[Later]
Algernon: I broke it. I was angry so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.


Kieran: Have you noticed how hot your brother’s gotten?
Sam: [glares]
Kieran: ...Because I have not!


Sam: When have I done anything rash or irresponsible?
Jackie: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.


Sebastian, trying to end an argument: what, are you on your period?
Olivia: i started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood, is that how you would like to end yours?


Will: In your opinion what’s the height of stupidity?
Jenny turning to John: How tall are you


Jenny: When I first met you, I didn’t like you.
Elizabeth: I’m aware of that.
Jenny: But then, you and I spent some time together.
Elizabeth: And?
Jenny: It did not get better.


Sam: There’s something I need to get off my chest.
Jackie: Is it your shirt? Please say yes.


Anne Marie: I thought you were dead.
Kieran: Do I look like the kind of man who dies?


Viola: wanna come early for lunch? maybe a quickie?
Olivia: it's pronounced 'quiche'


Kieran: Can I tell you a secret?
Erik: I wouldn’t recommend it, no.


Anne Marie: …the important thing is that you learned something.
Kieran: No, I didn’t.


Jack Sr.: Am I adopted?
Jackie: No, you’re ‘Jack’. Why would anyone name you ‘Adopted’? Even if we wanted to, your name was already Jack when we adopted you


Erik: I didn't drink that much last night
Algernon: You were flirting with Samantha
Erik: So what? She's my girlfriend
Anne Marie: You asked her if she was single
Colin: And cried when she said she wasn't


Viola: Oh no. You don't want to date me. I'm a handful.
Olivia: [excitedly] I have two hands!!!


Jenny: What’s your blood type?
John: How would I know?
Jenny: How would you not?!
John: Who am I, Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood groups?
Jenny: You don’t know your OWN blood type, BUT YOU KNOW WHO DISCOVERED THEM?!
John: It was in the papers for a week. It was KINDA A BIG DEAL, Jennifer!
 
Okay, this one is a slightly different take, but I think it could also be fun. For however many characters you want, post:
Headcanon A: realistic
Headcanon B: hilarious
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Aurianna:

A-Would be a jock.

B- She is afraid of spiders. I am imagining her in her living room, spear in hand and knocking things off shelves to kill a tiny spider that crawled out from behind the bookshelf. Matthias considers reminding her that she possessed a metal arm, but refrains when he remembers the last time she punched a spider and left a hole in the wall. Instead, he talks her down and promises to hunt down the spider.

C- This is sort of a Matthias-Aurianna-Rielle headcanon. So in my head, Matthias would flirt with Rielle by leaving love notes in books for her to find. A quirk he's tried to replicate with Aurianna, but has thus far gone unnoticed, since Aurianna doesn't read much. So, in an AU in which Matthis doesn't make it back from the assault on Baath-Me'el's keep, Aurianna retires to Monsford alone. Late in her pregnancy, when her mobility isn't great anymore, she takes up reading more seriously, and finds those love notes he left, all those months ago. T_T
 
I actually really like that Matthias one

Let’s see. Here’s a set for Quentin.

A: Quentin knits.

B: Quentin has knitted a gift for each member of the High Council. Gloves for Yoda, a rainbow stocking cap for Mace, a scabbard for Luminara’s lightsaber, and on and on. He makes a game out of delivering them anonymously, breaking into their chambers and leaving the gift somewhere prominent, and then leaving without a trace.

C: Shortly after becoming a Shadow, Quentin spent two years trying to track down his birth parents. He never found any trace of them, and that bothers him. A lot.
 
I've had to think long and hard about this one, but this morning I finally came up with a couple.

A: Kieran can double dutch better than many 10-year-old girls, and will murder you if you bring it up. I'm not sure even Anne Marie knows.

B: He got into smack-talking a 10-year-old girl once, and they settled it with double-dutch. He beat her handily, even though he was so tall by that point that he had to hunch over for the girls to get the rope over his head. He was 25.

C: When he was 6 his mother told him only faggots skip rope when she caught him doing just that with the boy he held hands with on the way to work. He never held Colin Yearwood's hand again after that, though as best friends they enlisted in the IRA then turned pirate together. Shortly before the start of the Meridian Society thread Colin died in his arms during a conflict with agents of the Crown. He hates himself a little more every time he goes to bed with Captain Drake, but at least he can say his name without inviting awkward questions.


A: Anne Marie started collecting porcelain dolls when Algernon gave her one for her eighth birthday.

B: Poor Algie was promptly roped into many a tea party with said doll.

C: Gustav would lock her in her room for days at a time surrounded not only by her own dolls, but by those he had collected for or from previous victims (she was not allowed to decorate her own apartments). After she killed him, she burned anything pink and frilly and smashed all of the dolls except one. That first one Algie gave her was knocked over and she regretted it before it hit the floor. She suffered a broken hand which was carefully reattached, but was put in a box for many years once Anne Marie hit her rebellious phrase. She's only recently been brought back out in the past few years, but sometimes she's still hard to look at.
 
Verrier

A: Verrier prefers books - particularly works in philosophy and magic and science - to the more traditional treasures that dragons tend to collect.

B: Verrier likes cats. Like, to the point that if he wasn’t a dragon he’d want to be a cat.

C: In the early days of the world, before the Dragonfall War, Verrier spent nearly a century masquerading as a god. During that time he became friends with several of the gods (Basltecer, Akhmin and Verdan chief among them) and developed a crush on Afodesia. He and Thanides never really liked one another, but Verrier felt a sense of acceptance that he’d always wanted but never found among his own kin. After Yavost’cherev hunted him down and slew three of the gods trying to draw him out, there was a moment when he would have joined the gods in retaliating against the Primirdual Dragons. But Thanides turned the gods against him, and the rest is bloody history.
 
What OC has the biggest family? How do they get along?
What OC has/is a mentor?
What OC has a huge group of friends?
What OC has a small, close group of friends?
What OC has, like, one friend?
What OC is the Mom Friend?
What OC really needs the Mom Friend around?
Which OCs are an old married couple (literally or figuratively)?
What is your favorite platonic relationship between your OCs?
What is your favorite familial relationship between your OCs?
What is your favorite romantic relationship between your OCs?
Which two OCs are the most different from each other?
Which OCs complement each other the best?
Which OCs get along the best with each other?
Which OCs get along the worst with each other?
Which OCs don’t know each other, but would get along great if they did?
Which OCs don’t know each other, but would hate each other if they did?
Which OCs would make the worst couple?
What’s the strangest way two (or more) OCs have met?
Which non-related OCs have known each other the longest?
Which OCs knew each other the shortest time before becoming close friends?
Which OCs spend the most time together?
Which OCs have fought with each other the most?
Do any OCs have friends they haven’t met in person?
Do any OCs have imaginary friends?

These are based around a single OC.

Does OC have a hard or easy time making friends?
How did OC meet their best friend?
How did OC meet their worst enemy?
How did OC meet their significant other? If OC does not have a SO, do they want one?
How does OC get along with their parents?
Does OC have siblings? Do they get along if they do? Do they wish they had some if they don’t?
Does OC have or want kids?
Is OC/Would OC be a good parent?
What is something unusual OC has bonded with someone over?
What is the most important relationship in OC’s life?
How has OC been affected by their friendships?
How has OC been affected by their family relationships?
How has OC been affected by their romantic relationship(s) or lack thereof?
Who does OC consider they have learned their most important life lesson from?
Who motivates OC?
Who would OC do anything for?
Who would OC do anything to not have to deal with?
How does OC meet most people?
How long does it take OC to open up to people?
How much do OC’s friends know about their private life?
How does OC act differently after they know someone better?
Who is OC’s favorite person?
Who is OC’s least favorite person?
Is there anyone OC used to be very close to, but no longer is?
What aspects of OC have, consciously or unconsciously, come from someone else?


What OC has the biggest family? How do they get along? The cast of Redemption ended up as a big family.

What OC has/is a mentor? Aurianna had a mentor in Matthias, and was a mentor to Clara. And I have just decided that Clara was Mykel's mentor, just because it makes a perfect little circle.

What OC has a huge group of friends? Aurelia has a huge crew, and additional allies spread out over al-Nithiel.

What OC has a small, close group of friends? Kaydia

What OC has, like, one friend? Mercedes. Okay, maybe 3, but she's sleeping with almost all of them.

What OC is the Mom Friend? Aurelia is this to her crew.

What OC really needs the Mom Friend around? Lily.

Which OCs are an old married couple (literally or figuratively)? Aurelia and Yusef, on acocutn of being married in past life.

What is your favorite platonic relationship between your OCs? Clara and Aurianna or Justine and Aurianna.

What is your favorite familial relationship between your OCs? Lily and Mykel seem to be a rare healthy sibling relationship among my characters.

What is your favorite romantic relationship between your OCs? Very hard to choose, so I won't. I do go through periods where I am more interested in one over another though.

Which OCs don’t know each other, but would hate each other if they did? Aurelia and Aurianna, though it would be onesided. Aurelia is pretty derivsive towards Gods and Paladins, and she would judge Aurianna for her relationship with Matthias, whom she already hates (without having met him) because of what she knows about Faye's backstory. She wouldn't be able to begin to understand how Ari can forgive or love him. (All points that did not get explored much in the crossover thread, because I figured the intention was to keep things mostly light.)

What’s the strangest way two (or more) OCs have met? It's hard to top Aurelia and Yusef's first night, but they keep trying.

Which OCs spend the most time together? Kaydia and Quentin.

Which OCs have fought with each other the most? I mean want to say Yusef and Aurelia, but Kaydia and Quentin have had a handful of earnest saber duels betwen them.
 
Characters: Jackie Sparrow, Jenny Sparrow, Kieran Shane, Anne Marie LaMonte, May Swift-Palmer, Fenny Balloch, Hamish Balloch, Erik Heinz-Schmidt, Olivia Baccharin

What OC has the biggest family? Kieran is the eldest of six How do they get along? Fairly well, those who are still alive. All very supportive and loving so long as the status stays quo.
What OC has/is a mentor? Anne Marie's mentor was Algernon, though I suppose she could be considered to be a mentor to Sam
What OC has a huge group of friends? Olivia
What OC has a small, close group of friends? Kieran
What OC has, like, one friend? Jackie
What OC is the Mom Friend? Fenny (figuratively and literally)
What OC really needs the Mom Friend around? Hamish
Which OCs are an old married couple (literally or figuratively)? Fenny and John literally, Jackie and Kieran figuratively
What is your favorite platonic relationship between your OCs? Anne Marie and Kieran, or maybe Jackie and Kieran
What is your favorite familial relationship between your OCs? Hamish and Fenny or Jackie and Kieran
What is your favorite romantic relationship between your OCs? Anne Marie and Algernon
Which two OCs are the most different from each other? Algie and May
Which OCs complement each other the best? Hmm...probably Sam/Jackie, Kieran/Jackie, or Fenny/Hamish
Which OCs get along the best with each other? Jackie and Kieran
Which OCs get along the worst with each other? Erik and Kieran
Which OCs don’t know each other, but would get along great if they did? Jenny and Fenny
Which OCs don’t know each other, but would hate each other if they did? May and Hamish
Which OCs would make the worst couple? May and Algernon
What’s the strangest way two (or more) OCs have met? Jackie found Sam dying in a desert, and Viola tricked Olivia into thinking she was her husband
Which non-related OCs have known each other the longest? Anne Marie and Algie
Which OCs knew each other the shortest time before becoming close friends? Anne Marie and Kieran, and Fenny and John probably come in at the same amount of time (an hour or two)
Which OCs spend the most time together? Algie and Anne Marie...unless you count an unnaturally expanded lifespan, then John and Jenny
Which OCs have fought with each other the most? Kieran and Colin
Do any OCs have friends they haven’t met in person? Probably Jenny, maybe May, since they're the only ones who have the potential to make it to the internet age
Do any OCs have imaginary friends? Not that I'm aware of, but May's probably hallucinated a few and later on Jenny almost definitely hallucinates long-dead friends when she's sober

These are based around a single OC. (May, because I don't know much about her yet and this is a good character building exercise)

Does OC have a hard or easy time making friends? Easy
How did OC meet their best friend? He took her in after finding her homeless, busking on a street corner
How did OC meet their worst enemy? She doesn't believe in having enemies
How did OC meet their significant other? Jack moved in with her coz he needed a place to stay and she needed a roommate. Max and Jesse took her in. Nate was one of the people they served at the soup kitchen. (Because monogamy is for nerds)
How does OC get along with their parents? Her mother was her best friend until she died of cervical cancer when May was 12. Her father beat her like a ragdoll--which got worse after Helen died--until she ran away at almost 18 and she hides whenever he comes looking for her.
Does OC have siblings? Nope. Do they wish they had some if they don’t? She's always wanted a sister.
Does OC have or want kids? She'll have kids in the future, and while she doesn't plan on it she'll be delighted but also scared shitless.
Is OC/Would OC be a good parent? Once she gets off (most of) the drugs and leaves the cult she'll be...unorthodox, but loving and trying her best.
What is something unusual OC has bonded with someone over? She and her elementary school best friend played nuclear wasteland house in her father's fallout shelter.
What is the most important relationship in OC’s life? Currently the religious and personal relationship with Max, and always her relationship with Anne Marie.
How has OC been affected by their friendships? Friendship with the sort of men who prey on naive, desperate young women with nothing and no one has made her codependent and eager to please at the expense of her own well being, but I expect spending more time with Jack will slowly change that. Anne Marie approves very much of Jack as she watches this. Time with Max and Jesse has also left her highly religious, embracing non-traditional religion as she looks desperately for something to replace the strict unyielding Catholicism of her father.
How has OC been affected by their family relationships? Watching her parents' marriage has left her not believing in traditional marriage and family life, and terrified of being a parent because she doesn't want to be like her father. The naivete--choosing to see the good even in the irredeemable, often to her own detriment--developed as a sort of self-protection to pull her out of a very, very dark place she was left in after having to spend years alone with her dad, isolated from most forms of social contact. If she couldn't believe--or at least tell herself she believes--in the inherent goodness of humanity, that people get what they deserve, that everything works out alright in the end, and that her father was an aberration from that, it's entirely possible she would become suicidal. Anne Marie and (before his death) Algernon, however, did their best ti instill an inner strength in her that's mostly stuck, though she's less assertive and firm than Anne Marie would like.
How has OC been affected by their romantic relationship(s) or lack thereof? See: friendships, because with men May has a hard time separating romance and friendship at this point in her life, and in her current situation she takes on more of a mentoring role with women. Her future relationship with Jack will likely even her out a good deal, making her less flighty and naive without dimming her optimism.
Who does OC consider they have learned their most important life lesson from? Max as her religious leader, turning her to the true path of the Universal God Soul (Anne Marie will never, ever admit that this hurts her feelings)
Who motivates OC? Max and Nate, Jack later on, and always Anne Marie
Who would OC do anything for? Most people, but especially Max and later Jack
Who would OC do anything to not have to deal with? Esther and her father
How does OC meet most people? At rallies and service missions to shelters and soup kitchens, sometimes just on the street
How long does it take OC to open up to people? About three seconds
How much do OC’s friends know about their private life? Everything, except when it comes to her father. That's more privileged information.
How does OC act differently after they know someone better? She's much more physically affectionate, since she's aware not everyone is okay with that with someone they just met. Also, depending on the depth of the relationship, a little more willing to talk about her father.
Who is OC’s favorite person? Jack and Anne Marie
Who is OC’s least favorite person? Her father
Is there anyone OC used to be very close to, but no longer is? She had childhood friends she was very close with before her mother died, but gradually isolated herself afterward as the abuse got worse.
What aspects of OC have, consciously or unconsciously, come from someone else? She's taken her optimism from her mother and her religiousness from her father and Max. She gets her determination (regardless of its target) from Anne Marie and Algernon.
 
A: I'll Be Back. Don't move.
B: Not a problem, I hate moving.

A: Reading, writing stuff down, you like all that nerd stuff
B: Writing things down is nerdy? What do you do?
A: Just forget stuff like a cool person.

A: Hello people who don't live here.
B: Hey
C: Hi
D: Hello
A: I gave you the keys for emergencies.
B: We were out of snacks.

A: B, keep an eye on C today. They're gonna say something to the wrong person and get themself punched.
B: Sure, I'd love to see C get punched.
A: Try again.
B: I will stop C from getting punched.
A: Correct.


A: How do C and D usually get out of these messes?
B: They Don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

A: Alright, so you and I are married.
B: We're not married.
A: Relax, it's just pretend.
B: I don't wanna pretend.
A: Scared you'll like it?
B: Okay, if we're married, I want a divorce.
C: Are you two like this all the time?
D: Yes, yes they are.

A: What you're doing is illegal.
B: I'm not taking advice from you. You pronounce the "g" in lasanga."

A: You're drunk.
b: I am not. I only had half of four bottles of wine.

A: Why would someone want to hurt C?
B: Maybe because they met them?

A: It's really muggy out today.
B: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the lawn, I am going to kill you.
A: *Sips coffee out of a bowl.*

A: Are you decent?
B: Not morally, but I am wearing pants if that is what you are asking.

~*~

Ari: Reading, writing stuff down, you like all that nerd stuff.
Matthias: Writing things down is nerdy? What do you do?
Ari: Just forget stuff like a cool person.

Marta: Hello people who don't live here.
Lena: Hey.
Jeff: Yo.
Marta: I gave you the keys for emergencies.
Lena: We were out of snacks.

Mara: How did my mom and dad usually get out of these messes?
Valis: They didn't. They just made a bigger mess that cancelled the first one out.

Matthias: It's really muggy out today.
Ari: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the lawn, I am going to kill you.
Matthias: *Sips coffee out of a bowl.*

Olivia: Sebastian, keep an eye on Viola today. She's gonna say something to the wrong person and get herself punched.
Sebastian: Sure, I'd love to see Viola get punched.
Olivia: Try again.
Sebastian: I will stop Viola from getting punched.
Olivia: Correct.
 
Clara: I'll Be Back. Don't move.
Verrier: Not a problem, I hate moving.



Sam: Reading, writing stuff down, you like all that nerd stuff
Erik: Writing things down is nerdy? What do you do?
Sam: Just forget stuff like a cool person.

Han: Hello people who don't live here.
Mara: Hey
Leia: Hi
Kaalin: Hello
Han: I gave you the keys for emergencies.
Mara: We were out of snacks.

Professor Swift: Colin, keep an eye on Kieran today. They're gonna say something to the wrong person and get themself punched.
Colin: Sure, I'd love to see Kieran get punched.
Professor Swift : Try again.
Colin: I will stop Kieran from getting punched.
Professor Swift: Correct.


Elizabeth Turner:How do Jack and Jenny usually get out of these messes?
Will Turner: They Don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.


Kieran: Alright, so you and I are married.
Colin: We're not married.
Kieran: Relax, it's just pretend.
Colin: I don't wanna pretend.
Kieran: Scared you'll like it?
Colin: Okay, if we're married, I want a divorce.
Gertrude: Are you two like this all the time?
Sam: Yes, yes they are.


Marilyn: What you're doing is illegal.
Mercedes: I'm not taking advice from you. You pronounce the "g" in lasanga."


Yusef: You're drunk.
Faye: I am not. I only had half of four bottles of wine.


Delinda: Why would someone want to hurt Had?
Faye: Maybe because they met them?


Jack: It's really muggy out today.
Jenny: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the lawn, I am going to kill you.
Jack: *Sips coffee out of a bowl.*

Jenny: Are you decent?
Jack: Not morally, but I am wearing pants if that is what you are asking
 
A: I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
B: oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test


A: These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold


A: Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.


A: How are you and the lady friend?
B: Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.


A: i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
B: I give it a week.


A: Shut up.
B: I didn't Say anyth-
A: You were thinking. It's annoying.


A: Babe, pass me the butter.
B reaches for the butter
C reaches for the butter
D Runs in the door, stick of butter in hand "You needed me, Babe?"


A, banging on the door: B, open up!
B: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
C: They meant the...
D: Let B finish.


A: i hate it when people ask "what's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" like awfully bold of you to assume i've reached peak dumbass


A: Why are you always in such a foul mood?
B: Experience.


A: You brought a date to the crime scene?
B holding C's hand: It was either this or ice skating.


A: B, how do I get revenge on those who have wronged me?
B: The best revenge is letting go and living well.
A: C, how do I get-
C: Stab. Eliminate. Destroy.


A: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
B: They don’t have the koalafications.
A: Marry me.


A: Can I ask a dumb question?
B: Better than anyone I know.


A: Which country has the most birds?
A: Portu-geese.
A: wait…
B: That’s a language.
C: Portu-gull.
B: Nice recovery.
A: Don’t you mean re-dove-ry?
D: Turkey. How did we miss Turkey?


Person A: Would you please not B this into a worse situation than it already is?
Person B: Hang on, did you just use my name as a verb?


Person A: Yeah, but what’s their body like on a scale of B to C?
B: Sorry, buddy.
C: What? I’m the 10!
B: Sure you are.


A: Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are ya?
B: Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you.
A: Yeah right. What are you gonna do, punch me?
[B moves forward, making A flinch.]
A: Ahhhh! Not in the face!


A: B, there's a very fine line between not listening, and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life.


A: This doesn't seem physically possible!
B: Nonsense. Modern-day technology makes anything possible! It was as easy as Shake-'N-Bake!
C: And I helped!
B: ...actually C, I don't really know if snickering in the corner all night like a prepubescent monkey actually qualifies as help...but it sure was entertaining.


A: Man B, you were asleep for a long time. What were you dreaming about?
B: Ohhhh nothing. I do not like to dream. I try not to think while I am sleeping.
A: That's pretty much how you function while you're awake too.


A: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.
B: I agree, except replace the word "non" with "extremely", and after the word "violent", include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire"!


A: I think this is what they call the calm before the storm?
B: I call it nap time. Which is right before food time. And then comes food-nap time! That is my favorite time of them all!


A: I don't want to be dead. I want to be alive. Or a cowboy.


A: B'll do anything for money.
B: That's not true.
A: It's not? I'll give you ten bucks to tear off C's arm.
A: (eagerly) Which one's C?


Person A: There’s nothing worse than people using big words they don’t understand just to seem smart.
Person B: I photosynthesize with this.


Person A: What up? I’m back.
Person B: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.
Person A: Death is a social construct.


Person A, from the 1800’s: I feel so gay!
Person B, from modern times: What?
Person A: You know, light-hearted. Joyful. Whimsical.
Person B: …yeah, the meaning of that word has changed. *whispers to Person A*
Person A: Oh. Oh my. Well, in that case… I’m still very much gay.
Person B: There you g- wait, what?


Person A: I slept for 12 hours but I might still be tired to let’s go for 12 more just in case.
Person B: A, that’s a coma.
Person A: Sounds festive.

***​


Lily: Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.


Kaydia: How are you and the guy friend?
Linora: Well, he's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.


Leia: Shut up.
Han: I didn't Say anyth-
Leia: You were thinking. It's annoying.


Clara: Babe, pass me the butter.
Sue reaches for the butter
Thora reaches for the butter
Sigurd reaches for the butter
Willam runs in the door, stick of butter in hand "You needed me, Babe?"


Lily: i hate it when people ask "what's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" like awfully bold of you to assume i've reached peak dumbass


Gwynn: Why are you always in such a foul mood?
Aurelia: Experience.


Mara: Dad, how do I get revenge on those who have wronged me?
Quentin: The best revenge is letting go and living well.
Mara: Mom, how do I get-
Kaydia: Stab. Eliminate. Destroy.


Pete: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Marta: They don’t have the koalafications.
Pete: Marry me.


Justine: Yeah, but what’s their body like on a scale of Matthias to Jeoram?
Matthias: Sorry, buddy.
Jeoram: What? I’m the 10!
Matthias: Sure you are.


Jeoram: Not so tough now without your weapon, are ya?
Aurianna: Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you.
Jeoram: Yeah right. What are you gonna do, punch me?
[Ari moves forward, making Jeoram flinch.]
Jeoram: Ahhhh! Not in the face!


Kaydia: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.
Scarlett: I agree, except replace the word "non" with "extremely", and after the word "violent", include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire"!


Kaydia: What up? I’m back.
Quentin: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.
Kaydia: Death is a social construct.



Sebelah: I feel so gay!
Marta: What?
Sebelah: You know, light-hearted. Joyful. Whimsical.
Marta: …yeah, the meaning of that word has changed. *whispers to Sebelah*
Sebelah: Oh. Oh my. Well, in that case… I’m still very much gay.
Marta: There you g- wait, what?
 
Sam: I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
Jackie: oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test


Linora: These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold


Clara: Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.


Kaarim: How are you and the lady friend?
Yusef: Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.


Aurianna: i solemnly vow to never ride crazy dick again.
Justine: I give it a week.


Jenny: Shut up.
Captain Jack: I didn't Say anyth-
Jenny: You were thinking. It's annoying.


Shelia: Babe, pass me the butter.
Mithras reaches for the butter
Arlin: reaches for the butter
Klynn: Runs in the door, stick of butter in hand "You needed me, Babe?"


Mara, banging on the door: Leia, open up!
Leia: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Han: They meant the...
Kalin:: Let Leia finish.


Captain Jack: i hate it when people ask "what's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" like awfully bold of you to assume i've reached peak dumbass


Clara: Why are you always in such a foul mood?
Verrier: Experience.


Marilyn: You brought a date to the crime scene?
William holding Mercedes’ hand: It was either this or ice skating.


Aurianna: Afodesia, how do I get revenge on those who have wronged me?
Afodesia: The best revenge is letting go and living well.
Aurianna: Verrier, how do I get-
Verrier: Stab. Eliminate. Destroy.


Sam: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Erik: They don’t have the koalafications.
Sam: Marry me.


Jeff: Can I ask a dumb question?
Pete: Better than anyone I know.


Will: Which country has the most birds?
Marilyn: Portu-geese.
Marilyn: wait…
Will: That’s a language.
Mercedes: Portu-gull.
Marilyn: Nice recovery.
Will: Don’t you mean re-dove-ry?
Mercedes: Turkey. How did we miss Turkey?


Justine: Would you please not Aurianna this into a worse situation than it already is?
Aurianna: Hang on, did you just use my name as a verb?


Clara: Yeah, but what’s their body like on a scale of Sigurd to Willam?
Sigurd: Sorry, buddy.
Willam: What? I’m the 10!
Sigurd: Sure you are.


Verrier: Hrothgar, there's a very fine line between not listening, and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life.


Kaydia: This doesn't seem physically possible!
Quentin: Nonsense. Modern-day technology makes anything possible! It was as easy as Shake-'N-Bake!
Shelia: And I helped!
Quentin: ...actually Shelia, I don't really know if snickering in the corner all night like a prepubescent monkey actually qualifies as help...but it sure was entertaining.


Senzang: Man Itoku, you were asleep for a long time. What were you dreaming about?
Itoku: Ohhhh nothing. I do not like to dream. I try not to think while I am sleeping.
Senzang: That's pretty much how you function while you're awake too.


Kaarim: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.
Had: I agree, except replace the word "non" with "extremely", and after the word "violent", include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire"!


Hrothgar : I think this is what they call the calm before the storm?
Verrier: I call it nap time. Which is right before food time. And then comes food-nap time! That is my favorite time of them all!


Bart: I don't want to be dead. I want to be alive. Or a cowboy.


Senzang: Yusef’ll do anything for money.
Yusef: That's not true.
Senzang: It's not? I'll give you ten bucks to tear off Matthias’ arm.
Yusef: (eagerly) Which one's Matthias?


Will Turner: There’s nothing worse than people using big words they don’t understand just to seem smart.
Captain Jack: I photosynthesize with this.


Kaydia: What up? I’m back.
Quentin: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.
Kaydia: Death is a social construct.


Sam: I feel so gay!
Joe: What?
Sam: You know, light-hearted. Joyful. Whimsical.
Joe: …yeah, the meaning of that word has changed. *whispers to Sam*
Sam: Oh. Oh my. Well, in that case… I’m still very much gay.
Joe: There you g- wait, what?


Joe: I slept for 12 hours but I might still be tired to let’s go for 12 more just in case.
Claudia: Joe, that’s a coma.
Joe: Sounds festive.
 
Likes their music loud- Lindy (she actually runs a radio station for blacklisted music sometimes)
Would poison someone if given the chance- Anita, Adriana, or Lia
Always happy- Lindy (for now)
Afraid of spiders- Anyone with a brain-- those things are the physical manifestations of Satan's greatest fears
Would jump out of a plane- Golden Madeline for style, Lindy for fun, and Anita for reasons
Calls people ‘Dude’- Lia and Adriana
Wants to just lay down and not move- Adriana, and Lindy if it's a particularly shitty day
Has the perfect comebacks- Anita will subtly destroy you with such tact and logic that you can't come back from her insults, Lia will just outright roast you like a dragon on steroids
Can punch someone and the person they punched would thank them- Anita, Adriana, Amelia, and Lindy
Listens to everything but common sense- Lia and Lindy
Gives nicknames to others- Lindy
Likes to talk to code- Lia, Anita, Amelia
Doesn’t open up to others very easily- Anita, Adriana, and Lia
Is painfully obvious on who they like- Lindy
Would get a tattoo on a whim- Lia and Lindy if she was with friends
Has a strong eyebrow game- Lia
Would jump off a building- Same people who would jump out of a plane
Likes to travel- Anita, Amelia, and Lindy
Likes roses- Anita and Amelia are total rose sluts
Talks in song lyrics- Lindy and Lia
Is tol- Lia and Golden Madeline
Is smol- Anita
Would murder someone if given the opportunity- Anita, Lindy, Lia, and Adriana
Had a sad childhood- Anita, Lindy, Lia, Adriana, and Golden Madeline
Loves their parents- Anita, Lindy, and Amelia
Hates fish- Lindy
Questions everything- Anita for sure
Would keep up with celebrity gossip- Lindy and Adriana
Would make it rain in the club- Amelia if she had money
Likes hugs- Lindy and Anita if she knows the person she's hugging well enough
Kisses their partner good night- Amelia and Lindy
Likes to give piggybacks- Golden Madeline
Likes to sing in the vehicle- Lindy
Would join the circus- Lindy, Lia, and Golden Madeline
Could be a stand-up comedian- Lindy and Lia
Has bad luck- All of them
Likes pretzels- Anita, Lia, and Amelia
Loves the rain- Lindy
Can knock out someone’s tooth in one punch- Anita, Golden Madeline (could knock out teeth with a flick), Lindy, and Lia
Will kiss someone to steal their wallet- Anita and Lia
 
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