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Even In Death (Tag: Mr Master)

TheyDontKnowIBurn

TheyDontKnowIBurn

Supernova
Joined
May 10, 2009
Location
The Asscrack of nowhere, WA
Name: Emmalyn Nichole Rose
Age: 19
Appearance:
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Talking. People always talked. Talked and stared, and even whispered. People were good at spreading news around that wasn’t theirs to spread. So good at it, that the whole town knew who Em was. She was the girl who had survived the car wreck that had killed Allan Theores a week ago. Some said it was her fault for not driving. The reports from the coroner said he had a lot of alcohol in his system.

So now they made it her fault. The blame always had to go somewhere, so why not blame Em, and add a little insult to the already great injury she suffered. Physically, she was fine, but mentally, she was a wreck. That made her the best kind of target for their accusations and blaming.

Well, when she was sober. Which as of late wasn’t often. Since the accident, she had taken to drinking a lot. And doing other things. Popping pills. Doing whatever drugs she could get her hands on. It took her away, and made things a little less painful.

That night as she pranced down the sidewalk, it was clear she was on something. Truth be told, she had downed some pills. She wasn’t sure what they were, but she had a nice, floaty sort of feeling going, so she really didn’t care what they were. She talked softly, as though someone were walking along side her.
 
Name: Nicholas Thomas Brewer
Age: Just turned 20
Appearance: look and see

Walking. He had to walk, had to move, had to try and get tired and work himself to where he could sleep. Just a week since Allan had gotten himself killed, drinking and driving, and when he had time to think about it, it made him crazy inside, made him realize how close to death everyone actually was, and he had to do something, had to work it out, take his mind off of it. So he took long walks, and nobody thought much about it, those who even noticed him striding along in the dark; it's only Nick, taking a walk. If only they realized he was out walking most of the night, they might worry.

He'd heard people talking; it wasn't that large of a town that he could avoid the gossip and rumors. Some people blamed Emmalyn Rose for the accident, saying if she'd been driving, Allan might still be alive. But Nick knew how Allan was about things. He would have insisted he was fine, would have refused to give up the keys. He was always a little strong-willed, and he'd been lucky before. Not that night.

But anyone who'd bothered to look could see Em was hurting. She blamed herself as much as they blamed her; it broke Nick's heart just a little bit every time he saw her pretending not to notice people staring at her and whispering. He'd never spent much time alone with Em, hadn't really gotten to know her as well as he'd wanted, back when she and Allan had been together; just one of those happenstance things. But now it seemed almost like he was the only one who saw how much she was suffering. Her scrapes and bruises from the accident were already gone from her flesh, but he could tell the real injuries were much deeper.

That's why she was in his thoughts when he turned the corner around the side of the closed convenience store and saw her, prancing unsteadily, muttering something soft and indistinct to the air next to her. He was struck by her suddenly; he'd always found her attractive, but suddenly seeing her in the night, ethereal, unearthly, certainly high as a jetliner, if not a satellite, but still beautiful, and damaged -- it struck something inside him, and he felt tight in his chest and sad and desperate to speak to her. He justified that she could be on a bad trip or something, and might walk into traffic at any moment. So he walked toward her and put himself right in her path.

"Em? Emmalyn? Hey, how are you?" He tried to meet her gaze, get her attention. "It's Nick, remember? Hey, nice night for a walk, isn't it?"
 
Emmaline looked up when someone called her name. He identified himself, but for the moment, she couldn’t make a solid connection between his face and name. It was as if she was on some other planet, far far away from this world. The farther away, the better. Away from them. Away from their words. Away from their looks. Away from the rumors, and the guilt. Away from all of that, and closer to Allan. That was just where she wanted to be. Always closer to him. She let that thought carry her off her a few moments, but then she remembered he was still there, and had greeted her. It wouldn’t be proper to ignore the greeting.

“Oh... Hello...” She said, in a drifting tone, light and airy. She held a sort of dreamy air about her right now. “Nick... Nick... Nick... I do believe I know you...” She said with an airy little giggle. “Hmmm... Ohhh! Okay... Allan just reminded me... Nick. His friend, right?” She said with a smile, looking rather proud to have remembered. As he mentioned it being a nice night to walk, she nodded. “Right... Night... It was a night, when it happened, you know... Bad things happen at night... Very bad things...” She said in a sort of distant whisper

“Always night when things happen... But perhaps it’s not the night’s fault... Perhaps it’s the people out at night... The girl who didn’t take the keys away, ya know? The dumb bitch who let her hammered boyfriend drive himself right into a tree... What a dumb bitch...” She said, bitterly. “They talk about her a lot, ya know. Say how it’s her fault...” Em said, loftily. “They’re right... What a loser... Couldn’t even protect her own lover...” She said. Then she looked Nick dead in the eye. “Guess people are just stupid... She, me, her, I... All Em, all stupid. As good as a murderer...” She added, quietly. It was clear she was totally lost as to who she was talking to a where she was.

A few moments past with her gazing off into space before she turned to look at him once more. “Oh, hello! Nick, right?” She said. She looked to the side. “Yes, love, I know... We need to get home sometime soon... Allan, dump that can. You’ve had to much.” She said, talking as though he were standing right next to her. She looked at Nick, and this time with tears in her eyes. “Nick, make him stop... He’s going to get himself killed... I can’t make him stop... He won’t give me the keys...” She whimpered, frightenedly. Whatever she had taken, it had down quite a number on her mind.
 
Oh, God, he thought, it's worse than I thought. Not only was she far gone, she had heard every whisper and slight and taken them all into herself. He was at first too shocked, and then too saddened, to interrupt her. But when she appealed to him directly, he had to try and help. She was breaking his heart, already.

"It's going to be okay, Em," he said quietly, moving up beside her. He hesitantly put an arm around her shoulders, in an attempt to steer her, get her walking again. "Look, let's take a walk. Let's... um... let's let Allan sober up a bit. He, ah, he won't leave without you, right?" Nick didn't like playing to her hallucination, it didn't feel comfortable, too much like lying to her. But he also knew in this state, she wasn't likely to respond to sensible discussion. Even if he tried to talk out her problems, she was so high, he wasn't sure she'd remember it when she sobered up. Might as well try to lecture the river.

He moved them down the street, in the direction she had been going. "The night can be a problem, yes, Em. But it's not all bad. It can be beautiful, if you look at it with the right eyes." In part, he was trying to guide her trip back into positive areas, but in part, he was being honest. He had his reasons for walking half the night away, but he could have just as easily tired himself out on the exercise bike at home, or lifting his roommate's free-weights. He chose walking for the aesthetics.
 
She tried to make herself small against him as he put an arm around her shoulder. Then they were walking again. “Nick, what about Allen?” She asked before he got the change to explain. She kept looking back as though he were still standing right there. She said, resisting his attempt to steer her. “Allen, come on, please?” She pleaded with the air behind her.

“It’s going to be okay?! He’s got the keys, Nick!” She said, desperately. “He’s had way too much tonight, and he’s got the keys...” She said, her voice getting lower. Soon though, she stopped fighting the direction in which Nick was steering her. “You’re right... He won’t leave without me... He’d better not, if he wants to get laid anytime in the near future...” She said with a light smirk. So she walked with him. Or rather, pranced, and somewhat stumbled about. She probably wouldn’t remember this little occurance tomorrow, but she really did own him. “Soooooooooo... Where are we going?” She asked as he did a little spin.

Then he started talking about the night. “So... Beauty isn’t always a good thing...” She said. “It’s often a mask for the deadly nature of things.” She said in a moment of startling clarity that somewhat resembled sobriety. “Buuuuuuut, we’re all going to die someday, so might as well enjoy the view while we can.” She decided with a nod. Her steps started to waver a bit. “Hmmm... I’m a little dizzy...” She said with a giggle. Seemed she was nearing the end of her night. She took a few unsteady steps forward before missing one and falling to her knees. “Oh... I’m a little tired...”
 
"Um... sure. Enjoy the view. That's what I try and do."

When she stumbled and fell to her knees, he felt panic rising. Isn't this how it always went? They take a lot of pills or something, they get high, get sleepy, and then get so relaxed that their heart stops. Not on his watch; he wasn't going to let her pass out until he could be reasonably sure she wasn't going to die on him.

"Oh, no, you don't," he said softly, kneeling beside her and levering her arm over his neck. "This isn't a place to rest. We need to keep going until we find a better place. Um, Allan can come along with us, if you like. But let's walk..."

Would it be bad to acknowledge, even just to himself, the tiny little charge he got when Em spoke of getting laid with a smirk? Or was it just a human male's reaction to a human female referencing sex? Well, either way, she wouldn't remember it, most likely, so he tried to ignore the images of her the casual words had brought to mind and focused instead on getting her moving again.
 
Her head felt kind of light and spinny. She shook it but couldn’t quite shake that feeling. Admittedly, the scenery was kind of trippy when you were seeing it in the ways she was. But it was still a little bit uncomfortable. She really wanted to go to sleep right now. That sounded really good. Nap time for Emmalyn.

Or not. Next she knew he was pulling her up, having her hold on to him. “Alright.... If you insist.” She said, looking around. “Allen, c’mon... Gonna go walk somewhere...” She called wearily. “So, where are we walking to?” She asked. “Ya know what? We should go to the zoo.” She said with a spacey laugh. Never mind that the it was late, and the zoo was closed. She was too goofed up to think that far ahead.

She seemed to notice thinking just briefly to himself after she mentioned Allen not getting laid. “Something wrong?” She asked. “Did I say something to bother you?” She really hoped she hadn’t because if she had, she couldn’t remember what she had said, so she couldn’t adequately apologize to him for saying it. She looked back. “Allan, stay away from that store. You don’t need more to drink... It’s bad for your liver, you know?” She said. She thought for a moment. Was it the liver? Or maybe the kidney? Or the spleen? She couldn’t remember,
 
"I wouldn't say 'bother,' no, Em. You're cool," he said, trying to ignore her constantly talking to Allan. It was hard enough missing his friend; being reminded of him, Em talking to him like he was still around, that was a stab of pain he hadn't expected. But it was only partly the pain of missing his friend. He also worried about this poor sweet young woman, as well.

"And I think the Zoo is closed. We could go to the park downtown, but we can't sleep there. Do you want me to take you home?" Her place, if he recalled correctly, was on the far side of his own; if she really got bad, they could stop in at his place and change clothes or call an ambulance or something.
 
“Oh... Alright.” She said with a nod. She began to sing lightly as they walked. She actually didn’t have to bad a voice. It wasn’t really steady though, for how messed up she was. “Give me a reason to believe that you’re gone... Cuz I see your shadows so I know they’re all wrong... Moonlight on the soft brown earth, it leads me to where you lay... They took you away from me, but now I’m taking you home...” She was just singing to herself, calm enough for the time being.
“So no zoo then... Sad...” She said, quietly.

He asked about taking her home. “No... Not there... Don’t wanna be alone there... Don’t wanna...” She said, looking up at him. “Too quiet...” She added. “All that lives there are memories... Don’t wanna remember...” She said, quietly.

Em began to lean a little heavier on him. Her mind was starting to get a little fuzzy. “Can I stay with you tonight?” She asked, not looking at him. She did not want to be home, it seemed. She was dead set against it. Home was bad, because she was there alone.
 
"With me?" Nick was surprised, "Well, sure, I guess. Yeah, you can stay." He thought about what she had said, about memories, and realized yes, home alone might be a problem. Maybe they could contact her parents, or family, or friends or something; he realized he didn't know a lot about her background, and that made him feel like a bad friend. But he resolved to be better, and moved forward from there.

"It's a bit of a walk, though. Guess we better get going." He actually intended to take a longer route, because he needed any excuse he could find to keep her walking, keep her nominally awake until the effect of the pills had passed. He didn't know that much about overdosing, but it was generally accepted that falling asleep was bad if you were in danger of succumbing to the drugs. He'd take off-key singing and hallucinations if it would keep Em from dying on him.

He had a roommate, but the guy spent every night over at his girlfriends' place, and claimed the little apartment was cheaper and safer than a storage unit, anyway. So Nick wouldn't have to worry about anybody confronting Em while she was out of it, or when she was sober and vulnerable. And he could keep an eye on her better there; he knew where all his meds and first-aid supplies were, and where the bathroom was if she started throwing up. It seemed like it would be a good option after all, the more he thought about it.
 
She smiled a little as he said yes. That was good. The thought of being alone all night was none to appealing. As for family, well, they were out of the picture. She had stayed when they all moved to a huge city, and they had cut ties with her, because of her choice to do as she pleased. So it was just her and Allen. Now it was just her. Perhaps misery didn’t love as much company as people thought it did. But then she realized that at least for now, she wasn’t alone.

Em shrugged. “I don’t mind a little walk.” She said with a nod. She had been walking all night. She could handle it. If she could stay on her feet. So they walked. Her body ached, and she wanted sleep, but she didn’t complain. She wasn’t really in the position to complain. When offered a kindness, there was no sense in complaining. Thinking back, she wondered how many pills she had taken. She knew it was more than she should have, but they made her feel good. She didn’t know what they were either, but meh. Didn’t matter.

“Soooo... How long until we get there?” She asked, out of curiosity. She was eager to get somewhere where she could sit down. “When we get there, perhaps we can have a few drinks.” She said with a flittering sort of laugh. She wasn’t talking water. She wanted something harder. Perhaps whiskey or something. As long as she wasn’t thinking about Allen, she could drink. And at the moment, she wasn’t thinking about him. She was too tired to do so.
 
"Maybe. Maybe we can have a few drinks. But let's pep you up, first... wouldn't do to pass out before you drink, would it?"

And there was an issue he hadn't considered; how does one tell the difference between simple tiredness and potentially lethal drug overdose? At what point would she come down and then just be exhausted? He didn't know, and that was a problem.

Not that he intended to let her drink, anyway. He had some booze; not a lot, but a few bottles. But he wasn't about to let her drink with the pills still in her system; isn't that what they always said was a killer?

It was like she wanted to die. When he thought about that, he realized it was true, even if she didn't know or admit it to herself. She didn't want to think about Allan anymore, she didn't want to deal with the looks, the guilt, the memories, all that she'd been talking about... it was so obvious.

And yet, the realization helped him not at all. Because he wasn't going to let her suicide if he could help it; how could he live with himself if he did that? What kind of person would allow another person's guilt to eat them up like that? No, he couldn't let her do it. But he was damned if he knew how to help. And he was dead certain if he suggested a hotline or counseling or something she'd turn the idea down flat. She was the type. And yet without that kind of professional help, what could he do?
 
“Not gonna pass out...” She said. “See, I’m peppy!” She said, trying her best to look hyper. She wasn’t. She looked tired and ready to drop like a rock.

God, right about now she wished for a couch, a bed, or something soft to sleep on. She was just about ready to fall asleep standing. She really was whooped. She could tell he seemed worried, but she couldn’t rationalize why. She felt fine for now. A little out of it, but fine, none the less.

She yawned a bit. “Hmmm, you’re not going to let me drink at all, are you?” She asked, reading the look on his face. She knew when people were trying to appease her, high or not. She had always been good and telling the true intents of people.

Truth be told, she didn’t think about dying. She just thought about getting away from the memories. That was all she thought about. Just getting away. Escape by any means. And being drugged up like this was a means of escape. Who cared if she overdid it? What did she have to lose anymore? Not much. Nothing worse missing anymore.

Em sighed. It was getting hard to keep her eyes open by this point. “Are we almost there?” She asked, softly. She was almost dragging her feet. Whatever she had taken was making her extremely drowsy, and she was ready to let go of consciousness. She leaned on him a little as they walked. She felt a bit heavy for her own legs at the moment. But the problem was, that even while her body was tired, her mind was awake, and her thoughts scattered.
 
"Well, yeah, I wasn't planning on it," he admitted, chuckling. "I mean, you got enough in your system, don't want to harsh your mellow."

He had time to think it out, though... they were still a good mile or so from his apartment. He'd keep her moving, keep her awake; it wasn't like they were going particularly fast, anyway. He was nearly carrying her as i was. All the same, he kept her going. "Hey, hey now, don't fall asleep. I know you're tired, but here on the sidewalk is no place to take a nap. Come on, keep going. Hey, what's your favorite song, hm?

He hoped to get her talking about herself, talking about things that interested her. He was happy to learn more about her; he didn't really know her all that well, much as he felt attracted... and he wondered how much of that was him feeling like he wanted to help. He knew he had a bit of the "white knight" complex going on, and he hoped he wasn't responding more strongly to her just because of that...
 
“Awww, you’re no fun...” She said with a smirk. She stuck her tongue out at him. “Just one drink? I’ll split with you...” She suggested.

As they continued to walk, she was almost asleep on her feet, but he kept waking her up. She blinked and shook her head. Oh how she wished for a little sleep. But he seemed dead set on her staying awake. “Favorite song is.... Hm... I think it’s a toss up between “Memories” by Within Temptation and... Hmmm, “Missing” by Evanescence.” She said with a nod. “What about yours?” She asked. “Or do you have more than one favorite, too?” She asked.

Soon she realized she was starting to come down. And with the end of the high came some unpleasant symptoms. She felt a little queasy now. But she figured it was nothing she couldn’t handle, so she didn’t bother to mention it at all. She figured it was just a side-effect from whatever pills she had taken. It would go away. She yawned as she awaited his answer about the favorite song.
 
"Song? Ah, well... I'm a classicist. Oh, don't get me wrong, I like a lot of the newer stuff, but you really want to get my favorites, you got to go back. I think lately, I've bee more into The Ramones' 'Blitzkrieg Bop' for something fast, and for something more romantic... well, 'Melt With You' by Modern English has always been good for me." He chuckled. "My mom was always into the British New Wave when I was growing up, so I got exposed to a lot of that. Modern English, Adam and the Ants, Fine Young Cannibals... I could sing you songs, Em. You have no idea. But we're always drawn to the music that plays in our formative years, aren't we?"

She still seemed tired and loopy, but perhaps there was a change in her step, in the way she stumbled? He couldn't be sure, until she said something about it. He hoped she would start to come down soon; he couldn't keep her walking all night, and they were drawing ever-closer to his place. They had a ways to go, but he hoped he wouldn't have to do one of those scenes from the movies where he put her in the shower and kept patting her face to keep her awake. He was willing to go far to keep her alive, but he didn't want to have to dip into cliche, if he didn't have to.
 
She listened as best as she could, but she was quickly becoming uncomfortable. There was no sky-highness to protect her from the unpleasant after effects of her pills. She bit her lip and nodded. "Ah... That's uhm, cool..." She said, quietly. "Perhaps sometimes you can sing to me... Just not now..." She said. Her head was beginning to feel a little achey, and her stomach was churning. She wanted to wait until they got somewhere to take care of it all. She was totally unaware of his plans to keep her moving for a while. She figured she could handle it until they got there. Surely she was tough enough to manage just a little longer, right? She thought she was.

Well, until her stomach more or less started churning in overdrive. She stopped. "Ughhh... No more nice floaty feeling..." She muttered, wincing. She looked up at him. So much for ignoring it until it stopped. "Oh man... How far are we?" She asked. She needed something to settle her stomach. Badly.
 
"It's a few more blocks yet..." he said softly. "Look, if you're feeling sick, we can pause for a minute, sit on someone's front steps or something." He was encouraged by her discomfort, in an odd way. He didn't like her feeling sick, but it was a sign that she was coming down, and that meant she was on the farther side of her danger peak. That was good; he was actually running out of time, because they really were only a few blocks away from his apartment.

There was a part of him that was thrilled that she wanted to stay at his place. Any heterosexual guy would love to have an attractive young woman like Em to come home with them. But that attraction was leavened by his essential decency, in that he didn't want to take advantage of a woman when she was out of it on drugs and such, and also by the fact that they both were grieving over the loss of Allan. He knew losing a friend was hard enough on him; he couldn't imagine what she was going through, not really.
 
She bit her lip. “I d-dunno... I think...” She paused a minute as her stomach started a particularly violent wave. She held herself as it passed, then shook her head. She felt out right awful. And then it hit her. Like a ton of bricks. “Gonna lose it!” She squeaked out as she rushed to the nearest bush, and made sick. The heaves were fierce, and shook her body as she emptied her stomach into the foliage. She had never felt so icky in her life as she did in that moment. She thanked the gods above that her hair was tied back.

When finally she stood up again, she looked wobbly, but just a wee bit better. It seemed she had gotten rid of whatever was so proving to disagree with her stomach. She shakily walked back towards him. “Sorry...” She said, knowing it couldn’t have been all that entertaining to see her barf. “C-can we just go to your place now?” She asked, her lips trembling a bit. She was a mess, but it looked like she would get better. No lasting damage.
 
"Of course, of course," Nick said, offering her an arm. "It really is a couple of blocks away, Em. And I've got a spare toothbrush, if you want..." He'd half-followed her to the bush, but he realized she had it well in hand, and backed off. He was feeling a lot better about her chances of recovery at this point, as well.

"So I won't feel bad if you don't actually want me to sing to you, you know. People say a lot of things when they're in that floaty place, and it seems like you're out of there." He chuckled gently. "If you just want to curl up and go to sleep, that might actually be best." He pointed. "It's up ahead, you see that place with the green bulb on the porch? That's me."
 
She sighed. “Hehe... I just... Have a really ugly headache stirring...” She said softly as she stood along side him. Em looked as he pointed ahead to the porch with the green bulb. She nodded. “Right... And the toothbrush would be great...” She added. She looked at him and gave a weak smile. “Really do appreciate all this...” She said. “It’s better than waking up in a ditch somewhere.” She explained.

Then she began to walk. Her steps were neither long, nor confident, with her feeling as she did, but they succeeded in getting her where she wanted to be, which was indoors. “I’m not being intrusive or anything, am I?” She asked, as she made it to the porch, and waited for him to let them in.
 
"No, you're fine. My roommate barely lives here, and I've got nothing going on. You're welcome to stay. In all frankness... I could use the company." He fished out his keys and let them in. The place was the first floor of a duplex; the people upstairs had their own entrance door. He led the way in and flipped on the light.

It wasn't a big place, it was actually kind of narrow. But it was mostly living room, with some kitchen in the back and two smallish bedrooms, one almost entirely full of boxes and junk, like a storage unit. That door was ajar when they came in, so Em could see. Nick ushered her in and closed the door behind. "Do you want to sit down, or you want to see the bathroom and the toothbrush?"
 
Em nodded as he explained that she wouldn’t be an inconvenience. “Oh... Okay...” She said with a nod as she watched Nick unlock the door. She followed behind him, looking around at everything, trying to get a feel for the place. She thought it looked comfortable, albeit small. Her home was rather large, but really shabby, and in need of repairs.

She followed him through, her eyes settling on the door which showed a mess of stuff, things, and miscellaneous junk. “I’m guessing that’s the roommate’s room, huh?” She said, looking at the door before continuing to follow him. “I can sit down later... I really need a tooth brush... This is really disgusting. She was eager to fix the problem. “So, just direct me to the bathroom, and a toothbrush."
 
He led her back toward the kitchen; the narrow hallway had a bathroom separating the two areas. In there, he dug around in a drawer and found a package; it had been a two-pack of toothbrushes, but only one was left. He handed it over. "There you go, it's yours. Feel free to use anything you like; toothpaste, mouthwash, whatever. I'll be out there." He squeezed past her and closed the bathroom door behind himself.

His was the rear bedroom, the one just off the kitchen, and he stopped there, first, sweeping all his dirty clothes into the hamper in the closet, doing a quick look-over to make sure there was nothing too embarrassing exposed. Then he went to the closet and grabbed some sheets, and a light blanket, and carried them out to the living room. He was stretching them out on the couch when he heard Em coming out of the bathroom.
 
Em had since brushed her teeth. As bad as the sick-taste had been, she'd banished it with a thorough brushing, and then a double shot of intensely minty mouth wash. Even if she looked a mess, she at least had minty fresh breath. Not like it mattered because she wasn't getting kissed or anything. She then noticed him in the living room. She leaned against the door frame, watching him set out the sheets.

She took a breath. "You didn't have to make my bed." Em said with a shrug. She fully expected to sleep on the couch, and she also fully expected to make her own bed and clean her own mess.
 
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