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A Dream Within A Dream (Captain Brandeau x Sketchyequine)

Alexander had a different idea for cleaning up, naturally. He should have rid the evidence of sex the way she had by rinsing the sticky stains from his lap but instead tucked everything away beneath the band of his boxers and yanked his jeans upwards, waist high. He even hurried more so upon noticing the haste in which Sasha dressed herself. "Wait, I thought that... Okay, I get it. But at least let me-" While urging that he help clasp her bra or zip up her dress, he showed her generosity plenty times afterwards but she managed everything herself to where he was of no use. "What's the rush? I'll put on a shirt and walk you to the-" he offered at last but she denied him again, stepping out the door and into the hallway of the complex.

Just as quickly as the door shut behind her, he flung it open and called out, even though he could no longer see her sexy, sauntering figure, "Don't you think you're overdoing it a little, Sasha? That's a really dirty trick, you know!" And his voice carried through the highs and lows of the building but there was no response and she was gone. "I mean, I'm not some guy you met at a damn bar." Alexander muttered to himself, once again shutting the door and locking it. By now his heavy heart weighed him down as he trudged his way back to the couch where he'd spend the night alone. The choice was entirely hers, however he did not expect Sasha to deny him like this, after he had opened his heart and welcomed her to see a different side of him. That was when he realized...

"I'm such a fucking idiot." His laughter was dry and the wounds were too fresh to sleep off immediately. Within the hour, Alexander was fresh out of the shower and the pull out portion of the couch was prepped with a simple blanket and a couple of pillows. He slept naked that night when sleep finally caught up to him. With Sasha racing through his mind all night it was tough, but he was able to find peace.

Alexander's dreams began when he opened his eyes to find himself falling from a great height, from the top of a tree judging by the looks of all the green flashing by. The impact between his face and the earth shook him out of his sleep however, and in reality he jolted awake with his heart pounding crazily. Feeling much safer around his familiar surroundings, it did not take long for him to calm down enough to fall back asleep. After a day like today, he was exhausted physically and mentally.

***

The dream picked up where it left off. After a fall like that these disturbing headache pains rung loud but he was able to distract himself admiring such a tranquil setting. His dreams were never this peaceful until recently the night before. It was hard to believe his dark mind could ever create anything this beautiful on its own, especially two nights in a row. He may need to drink before bed more often.

He had forgotten about the girl. The only one he could think about was Sasha as he strolled along an actual riverbank, bare feet sinking into the moist dirt every step of the way. That was until he saw a figure curled up in the ground while the wind carried her hair like a flag. He remembered the golden color instantly and hurried over, believing she was injured.

"Hey, Miss?" He awkwardly nudged her leg with his toes, wanting to ask if she was alright but it came out way different than he expected, "I'm looking for the nearest taco stand. Can you help me?" The words made no sense even to him as he said them. He wasn't looking for a taco stand, he wasn't even hungry.

"I mean, are you okay?" Without thinking, he knelt down beside her.
 
Emmaline was ripped out of her trance of self pity when he nudged her with his dirty, bare foot. She scrunched up her nose a bit in dislike before she looked up at him with tears still streaming her cheeks. “What are yo-” She was cut off by the man’s words and she furrowed her brow. What? A fucking taco stand? Se wondered, cocking her head to the side much like a confused pup. Her brow remained wrinkled and taunt as she just stared up at him in an attempt to understand what the hell was happening. It was only when he asked her is she was okay that her face relaxed again. “Oh… Well…. I guess I’m not okay.” She admitted before turning to face the man.

Unlike Sasha, Emmaline was much smaller than Alex. She was petite and much less curvy than the spicy latina who had been humping the man wildly before he had entered this dream land. However, she was still beautiful, at least here. In her dreams, Emmaline was able to revert back to the body she used to have before months of testing. She was sturdy and lean, even though she was rather petite. As she sat in front of him, she just stared. The woman was having a battle with herself. She couldn’t tell if this man was real or not. By all rational explanation he shouldn’t have been real. She had been coming here for years when they forced her into these comas, and never once had there been anyone else. Not to mention nothing here was really tangible. However, as she looked at him he seemed all too real.

“I haven’t been okay for a long time.” She shrugged, still gazing up into his eyes. Her own eyes, and unnatural shade of violet, were the result of one of the tests they had done on her. However, she found herself drawn to the uniqueness of them, she she allowed herself to have them even in this fictional world besides the painful origin of her unique irises. “But… That’s no matter. Who are you? How are you here? There’s never been anyone here…” She whispered, reaching up to wipe the last of the stray tears from her paper skin. “Only me… it’s only ever been me.” She mumbled. To the man, Emma probably looked like a crazy person. Maybe she was. She had been away from all things normal for so long that going crazy didn’t seem far fetched. However, she was afraid that her craziness would be enough to drive away her new company.

Bravely, Emmaline looked back to him and she reached out her had to cup his cheek. Her fingertips were as cold as death, and it must have felt as though an ice cold corpse were touching the man. Emmaline was no corpse, but would quickly choose death over the life she lived. Compared to her fingertips, Alex felt so…Alive. He was warm and soft. His cheeks held color that Emmaline herself had not known for a long time. Her fingers traveled over his prickly jawline, the knob of his chin, until eventually they settled over his lips. The moisture and softness of his lips brought a light smile to Emma’s face. She remembered what it was like to kiss a man. She remembered the simple pleasure of pressing her lips to another or having a male pepper kisses over varying regions of her body. It was a good memory, and, with an almost drunken smile, Emmaline withdrew her hand. She was satisfied.

“Your lips are those of a man who is in love.” She smiled, looking down to the dirt as she talked to him. “However, you dont look like the type of man who would so easily accept love evn from those who so undeniably feel it for you. You are a man with walls. I can see it in you.” She whispered before glancing back up through her golden lashes. Emmaline was a very insightful little scientist. Perhaps it came with the territory of being trapped in one’s own head most of the time. She saw things in people that she often had seen in herself. She had a feeling that Alex was a broken man, but there was no one better for noticing such things than a more severely broken woman. “You should tell her you love her.” She finally whispered.
 
He watched her immediately react to his unwanted touch but it shook her from her dangerously dark thoughts and caught her attention, though not being the friendliest interaction. His expression was apologetic and completely innocent since this dream experience was completely new to Alexander. Every movement he made was a challenging effort like a toddler first learning to walk and his speech was just as difficult as proven by his taco stand outburst. Until he could learn proper dream etiquette, he decided to keep his hands to himself. This was his second encounter with the beautiful stranger and so this was his second chance to introduce himself and ask her the many questions that occupied his mind since that morning. "Tell me about it..." The man answered when she confessed to feeling nothing but misery. He could not help but notice how her beauty was flawed by hours spent crying, the trails of tears streaking down her face, and the somewhat swollen lids. Beneath it all was the vibrant color of lavender in her mesmerizing gaze despite the hopelessness she shone. Having never seen nor heard of such an extraordinary eye color, Alexander found it hard to look away. Just as she had won his sympathy, the sunny weather blackened from heavy rain clouds that did not exist before and a light drizzle took place. He was forced further beneath the canopy, invading more of her personal space without permission.

Glancing down, he could see he was wearing the attire he'd chosen for dinner but he was sloppily dressed, or undressed, halfway. His shirt was open and his fly was down and flashed the dark blue color of his briefs. Alexander's jeans slipped a little past his waistline with every motion to get out of the rain. Even in the presence of the woman, he was unbothered by his current state and did nothing to fix himself up.

"...What do you mean? It's just a dream, right?" Alex examined these new surroundings once more, confused by the things she whispered about, mainly to herself as she questioned his existence. He could not understand a word. This paradise was built from his imagination, it's a dream, she's not real, so why would she say it's only been her here? This all can't exist when he's conscious and awake. He came to the conclusion that this woman here was a part of his crazed mental state, the damaged part that he suppresses thus creating a physical form as a release. It meant that his depression was worsening and he should not ignore it any longer. Maybe if he tried reasoning with it while it was here, responsive, and somewhat tangible.

"I'm Alex." he answered while offering an unsure smile parallel to her rather somber look yet her eyes held a longing need only her hand could fulfill as she reached out to caress his cheek with a frighteningly icy touch. The longer they lingered, the more uncomfortable he grew as her fingers freely roamed his facial features. The overall experience was just weird and he made it known, "Okay, you're freaking me out..." And he pulled away just as she did, uncertain if he liked the new look on her face afterwards or not. But from that brief and simple touch she proved her intuition to be her strongest trait, having revealed almost everything about his love life. He blushed, feeling exposed under her gaze, and immediately thought of the only one she could possibly be talking about.

"How...how would you know?" Alex feared the worse that if things were getting too serious with Sasha and they broke up, their friendship would also be ruined beyond repair and it would leave him with nothing. How could he ever explain that to her? That she was his everything? Literally the last good thing in his life? He shook his head no, "You'd never understand."
 
“My name in Emmaline.” The young blonde finally introduced herself before offering her hand for aa shake. “And I promise there are plenty of worse things I could do to freak you out.” She gave him a wink as she listened to him intuitively. This man was a suffering soul, and it was easy to see that: even for a woman who didn’t see much of anyone anymore. “I think I would understand a lot more than you give me credit for, Alex. Afterall, all I ever get to do is spend time alone and think. All that thinking teaches you a lot about yourself. Only when you understand yourself can you understand others.” She nodded, truly believing that was the truth and that he should listen to her. After all, she had a lot of wonderful arguments. What exactly did he have? She wasn’t even sure where he had come from, but based on his disheveled appearance he had had an eventful day.

That was the beginning of it all.

Over the coming months, Emmaline would see Alex almost every time he went to sleep. There were only a few time she would enter their world and not find her there. In those days, Emmaline was undergoing treatments under the hands of a wicked set of doctors. However, no matter what they did to her, she always made herself appear unscathed to Alex. She didn’t want him to know the truth about her, although it was kind of a bummer that he believed she didn’t actually even exist. Emma did plenty of existing just not a whole lot of living. Her life had been torn away, and now the only joy she had was seeing a man in an alternate universe that didnt even think she was alive. However, he gave her enough hope to stay alive and continue through test after test long beyond when the doctors thought she would die.

Sasha and Alex formed a romantic relationship following that fateful night that they first made love that would be remembered. After that? They fucked each other damn near every day. It was their favorite activity, but there was something missing there. Sasha saw into the black hole of Alex’s mind more clearly than ever before, and it killed her that the man was never able to let down his fucking guard: even when he was balls deep inside his girlfriend. She couldn’t take his emotional distance, and soon they started to argue. Time once spent making love was then spent shouting hateful words at one another. His detachment was bad enough, but as soon as he started bringing up the magic girl in his head who seemed to have all the answers Sasha walked out. He would listen to a figment of his imagination, but he wouldn’t listen to his own girlfriend? Ridiculous.

They had promised to remain friends, and they did still make efforts to see one another, but they didn’t come too close to one another and all conversations were compiled of useless small talk. Alex had been afraid they would break up and fall apart, and that was exactly what had happened. Sasha still loved Alex with all of her heart, but she was convinced the man needed to be checked into a mental hospital if he was going to keep talking to a girl in his dreams. The whole thing was just crazy: this kind of thing just didn’t happen in the slums. They were all too busy working to be crazy and Alex needed to get it together. Sasha would never let his delusions fly, she just didnt know how to set him straight. Not even Alex thought the girl existed, so why did he hand on her every word the way that he did?

One evening after work, Sasha pulled her coat over her caramel-colored skin and she started to walk down the dimly lighted sidewalk alone. She just wanted to go home and sleep, but then she saw that familiar shadow. “Oh…. Hi Alex.” She muttered as they finally made eye contact.
 
The sun had only just set behind the taller buildings of the city when Alexander clocked out of the system for the night. Then as he stepped out of the warehouse building further downtown in the heart of their crippling, oppressed capital, he soon regretted leaving his jacket at home but would have to endure the icy cold weather the entire walk there. His hands found warmth in the pockets of his old jeans and the exercise was sure to play its part soon; he was only a mile into the walk. He kept his green eyes to himself and fixed on the ground, counting cracks along the way but there was nothing that could distract him from Sasha. Their bitter breakup resonated in his mind at all hours of every day though he was still very much in love with his friend. Afterall, she was the greatest thing to ever happen to him. He had cherished, not taken advantage of, their close relationship since childhood. It was not something he could easily let go of. Those exact thoughts were written somewhere on a single sheet of paper in the form of a cliché love letter since he had a hard time expressing his feelings to her face. Now, whatever friendship left between them hung by a thin thread, and Alexander would give anything for things to go back to the way they used to be.

Streetlights flickered on as the shadows of dusk grew and merged with the night sky. In a matter of minutes it was an evening so dark it hid the less pleasing views of the ghetto neighborhoods. A few steps further and Alexander unconsciously walked ahead of another figure, her familiar scent reaching his senses before his eyes made contact, and the tip of his tongue held her name. She had still been in her uniform just like him so it was safe to infer she was also commuting from work. An awkward greeting was exchanged between them, "Hey, Sasha." Alexander attempted a friendly smile and closed a bit of the distance between them. "Just gettin' off?" His smile soon dissolved when he noticed she was walking by herself. She must know by now how strongly he feels against it. He would always insist that she get a hold of him under such circumstances. Pulling out his phone from his jean pocket to see no missed calls as well as catching the time on the screen, he sighed, "Well I'm really glad I caught you. Lemme walk you home. We can talk for a bit too along the way." And he extended his arm out to her, offering his hand for her to take.
 
Sasha offered a polite smile when Alex greeted her in return and she cleared her throat before looking down at the ground a bit awkwardly. “Yeah. I got off about 20 minutes ago. You know how it is. It’s a long walk, but it keeps me slim.” She tried to make a light joke as she offered the man another smile. She was angry with him and their breakup was still fresh in her mind, but the truth of the matter was that no matter what Alex did to her she still loved him. She would always love him. Her entire life the man was the only one that she could truly rely on. A few months of sex and arguing wasn’t going to change that and eventually, she knew, she would have to get over it so that they could move on with their future. She didn’t want Alex gone from her life; this was all happening because she she didn’t want to lose him at all. Breaking up with him was the last thing she wanted, but she just couldn’t deal with the heartache she felt anymore. How was it fair that he trusted a figment of his imagination over her.

When he offered his hand, she hesitated only a split second before she reached down and laced her fingers with his. Her pals were wrm from being shoved in her pockets her entire walk up until that point. Keeping her hands in her pockets and her head down, she had learned, were the best ways to avoid drawing attention. Sasha didn’t want any attention. She didn’t want sympathy from her friends or to be hit on by random guys on the street. She wanted to be alone and take the time to lick her wounds which, even after the months they had been apart, still bleed daily. She was far from healed. When sasha looked up up at him the tears welling in her eyes were obvious, but she didn’t acknowledge them. Instead, she started walking again and wiped her cheek with the sleeve atop her other wrist. And with a sniffle she tried to pull herself together again.

“Please don’t be mad I didn’t call. I don’t know how to do these kinds of things, Alex. I don’t know how to be around you and not feel a rush of emotions because of how much I miss you. But… you’re crazy and I just can’t fix that for you.” She sighed, giving his hand a squeeze. “Until you get over the girl in the head, you won’t be able to devote yourself to me. There’s just something about the way you talk about her.” She sighed, looking away. The truth was she was jealous of the girl. Alex connected with the girl in his dreams in a way he had never been able to connect with Sasha herself.
 
Her touch immediately comforted him, Alexander could not help but lean into her so their shoulders brushed as they walked to the end of the block. God, how he missed her. He understood her and could feel that very same wave of emotion she mentioned whenever he saw her. They shared a glance; her head tilted slightly up and her large eyes shimmering as tears threatened to fall. His best friend was hurting and his hands were tied, there was not much he could do. Alexander gave her hand a light squeeze before breaking the eye contact to glance down at his feet; he noticed they were in sync. "Believe me, I'm still getting used to it myself..." He visibly cringed when she called him crazy again. It was the center of all their arguments and he thought he made it clear that he wasn't crazy, Emmaline was just a part of his subconscious manifested into the form of some know-it-all psychoanalyst. Alexander opened his mouth to object like he had done so many times before but his jaw slacked, seeing nothing to gain if he started anything now.

In this world on the ground floor, technology and medicine doesn't advance like the prestigious and privileged in the district above their own. It is as if everyday was anew in the year 2017, though it was hundreds of years past. It was how the rich decided to segregate themselves from the other classes. And on this side of the world, they don't design new cars, they remake old ones. In the distance, the oldest car models drove through the streets, their rough engines and half reliable brakes could be heard in between the silences among them. He paused at the intersection before her building and turned to face her. There was no denying the pain he felt, the pain that clearly mirrored her own. "...Do you really blame me for all of this? I don't understand, Sasha. You ask me to open up more and when I do, you don't like what I have to say." His voice was light, soft, and full of emotion. To be honest, he was just as confused about their breakup now as he was back then. He was unaware of how jealous Sasha could be over a woman that didn't exist. "Sasha, the only thing I'm crazy about is you. Someday, I'm going to win you back."
 
Sasha shook her head. “No. I don’t blame you for anything, Alexander. In fact, I blame myself. I pressured you to have a romantic relationship with me, and then it didn’t work out. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have just kept staring at you and day dreaming from the friend zone rather than coaxing you to see things my way. If we hadn’t of slept together everything would be normal again.” She sighed as they continued to walk together. She winced when he spoke of having her again and she shook her head quickly, one ear spilling from her dark eyes. “No, Alex. We’re not going there. You aren’t getting me back. We’re friends. Just friends. That’s it. I can’t do that to myself again.”

Sasha stayed silent for awhile, just looking at the cracked and dirty sidewalk that passed beneath their feet. She just wanted to go home. She didn’t like all the tension she felt when she was around Alexander lately. She loved him, of course, but he also stressed her out. Especially with his talks of how much he wanted her back. Sasha loved Alexander, but she couldn’t go back. It had hurt too much the first time to walk out on him: doing it a second time would surely kill the young woman. No. Her heart was on guard now. “Alex. It’s time for us both to move on now. Maybe you should go get drunk at a bar and bring home a nice girl. It might help you get over me. We can’t keep dwelling on this.” She stated, stopping in front of her apartment building. She planted a kiss on Alexander’s cheek before nodding. “Goodnight, Alex.” She whispered before heading inside.

***

Emmaline was waiting. Usually Alex showed up around his time, but tonight he was late. It made her stir uncomfortably. Was he with Sasha again? She wondered as she stared with violet irises up at the dark sky. Alex didn’t think she was real and Emma didn’t have the heart to tell him differently. In months they had had no sort of romantic relationship the most they ever did was hug or hold hands like a pair of kids would on the playground. Yet, Emma had feelings for Alex. Being with him was the closest thing she had to being alive aside from the hours of agony she was put through for testing. She needed him more than Sasha did. Perhaps that was why the thought of him with the latina now instead of her made Emma so angry.
 
We're friends. Just friends.

Those words reached beneath his chest and gripped his heavy heart with such unbearable weight that his walk home from her apartment dragged time and he arrived at 2 in the morning. There was an uncertain piece of his mind that agreed with Sasha, that the two of them moving past this with new relationships should bring their crumbling friendship together again. Alexander thought back to earlier in the day, when
 
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