The Musician's Overture [GGentleman x Soft Strokes]

[GrinningGentleman]

The early winter wind was bitingly cold, on this cloudy Friday night. But even with the biting cold, and the slight hints that rain or snow would be falling soon, the streets definitely wasn't empty. People was out and about, on the hunt for Christmas gifts, general shopping and otherwise socializing. The chatter was busy, and the clatter of shoes even more so.
In these busy streets, and the biting cold, it became all the more obvious to Cecilia, that she hadn't dressed properly for this trip. She wished she'd brought her large coat, with which she could've hid herself from both the cold, and the people around her. She didn't want to go in the first place. This wasn't her scene. Too many people. Too much chatter. She preferred the little town from which she came, where she could hide away in her apartment, when things became too much. Her anxiety was working up on her, trickling down her neck like an unwanted, cold water droplet. The social girl she'd once been, had been broken with a cascade of unfortunate events, and she'd curled into herself. A comfort zone of loneliness and self destructive thoughts. It wasn't healthy, she knew, but she was yet to find a way to cope. The loss of her muse. Death of her brother. The struggle to find a good job. Her abusive, now ex boyfriend, who'd been a desperate attempt at finding some comfort amidst all this, last year. Cards just seemed stacked against her.

And now here she was, dressed in her favorite white leather shirt, which her arms had to hug tightly around to provide any sort of warmth, as she rushed in a hasty walking pace towards the nearest bus station. Her hands where covered in a pair of black leather gloves, now hidden bellow each of her arms, in the tight embrace she put them in. Her long legs where covered with a pair of simple, tight jeans, also doing very little to keep them warm. What a stupid idea to go, in the first place. What was she thinking?
'Let's go to the City, Cecilia! Let's go to a club. It'd do you good to get out there again'. Sure, they might've been right, but Cecilia couldn't agree less at this time. The club was too crowded, her friends too drunk, too quick. She'd rushed out of there, without a word. She'd done that before. She'd learned from the best.
Thinking that thought, she could feel tears starting to prod once again, remembering her old muse, as she walked past a small coffee shop. Her eyes glanced halfly towards a few posters, trying to put her mind to other thoughts, when they noticed something.. Familiar. Something, she hadn't seen for all too long.
She stopped her rushed pace, as her eyes went wide, looking to the ground by her side. She turned around quickly, taking a few steps back to look at the poster she'd noticed again, a barely audible whimper escaping her lips. It was -her-. Vivian. Her first lover. Her only -real- lover, where love had gone both ways, and hadn't just been an easy lay. Her radiant green eyes looked out past her long, currently somewhat curly golden blonde hair, staring at the poster for a long while. A concert? An Orchestra? Vivian had made it? A small smile crept up on her lips, a tear finally escaping her eyes, as she giggled a single time.
She felt happy for her. Why? She wanted to stop, and remind herself that Vivian had left her. No word. No note. No text. No explanation, what so ever. She wanted to be mad again. Furious, as she'd been for so long. But she couldn't. She could only feel joy, to see that Vivian had made her passion come true. Taken her fate, in her own hands. Something Cecilia hadn't managed herself, or even really strode for. She could only respect that, even while her heart was breaking to pieces, all over again, remembering the good times she'd had with Vivian. When things weren't... What they where today.

Cecilia looked thoughtful for a moment, before looking down to the dates of the show. She looked excited, getting her phone out of her pocket, swiping it up to check the date. It was today. And there was still a few ours before the show started. Her smile grew again, as she opened the phones GPS, quickly getting a route to the show, before rushing towards it, turning up the music she was listening to, in the large headset hugging her ears. She checked her bank account as well, knowing it wouldn't be too strong, but she'd have enough. She'd have to. Christmas wasn't too hard these years, not really celebrating it at all anymore, and she figured she could make do with some cheap, unhealthy dishes for a few weeks. She had to go. Absolutely had to.

After calling the Theater the show would be held, checking if any tickets remained, she'd immediately reserved a seat for herself. She was lucky. She was getting a seat fairly close to the stage, as well as the walkway, knowing that she'd almost be late. This way, she could just scoop into her seat from the walkway, without disturbing anyone. Without being noticed.
Reaching the Theater, and heading in to take her seat, she realized all too suddenly, how under dressed she was for a concert. Everyone was dressed in their finest, and she stuck out like a sore thumb among the lavish dress' and formal suits. Her anxiety was stabbing at her nerves once again, as she walked down the stairs towards her seat, surrounded by chatter, and fancy dress' and suits. Everyone was staring at the blonde woman, with the headset on her ears, and the tiny coffee stain on her jeans. The stain was so tiny and insignificant, that she hadn't noticed when putting them on, but had later in the bus towards the city, and no one would be able to notice it in this dim light. But still it came up in her mind. Reminding her, how much she should't be here. But, she had to. Absolutely had to. She had to see Vivian again. Had to hear her play, again. She'd always managed to make her happy. Sometimes sad but in a good way. That sweet melancholic romance they'd so often played, was a pleasant kind of sad. The last few years, Cecilia's melancholy had been asphyxiating and painful. She wanted to be reminded. Reminded of Vivian. Reminded of her muse. Reminded of a fluffy, happy youth.

Finally getting her seat, she sat down, making herself as small as possible, for people to get past her, and so that her subconsciousness told her that no one would notice her. Some people did, but in truth, not many cared. It wasn't all too unheard of, for people to come to the theater, not dressed in their finest. But, Cecilia's self destructive thoughts told otherwise. Now, she just focused her green eyes on the stage, trying to drown in the music of her headset, until the show started, in which she promptly pulled it off her head, hiding it bellow her blonde hair, turning all her focus towards the stage, excitement and joy in her eyes, elegant fingers playing gently with the leather collar, and the small silvery adornment of a cat's paw on it. A memento, from the artist she came to hear.

 

[OldSS]

Taking a long moment to breathe in the small room backstage, Vivian Kaiser curled her fingers around her bow, holding her massive cello in front of her. The large instrument shimmered with a dark oak coloration, while the glistening strings danced their light about the room. The woman dragged the bow back and forth against the strings, while her other hand quickly moved up top to begin to drag her fingers back and forth against the strings to change the notes. Her body flowed along with the bow’s movements, and the warm notes produced by the room began to crescendo whilst she was preparing for her onstage performance.

Getting to this point hadn’t been easy. That was to say the least, and not to say anything of how strong and how long the girl had to fight in order to get to where she was today. Years of practicing, refining, tuning and disappointment had finally risen to her, and as her bow was dragged back against her body, a sigh escaped her lips. Vivian’s warm hair was pulled back against her scalp, rather than the natural flowing curl she’d place on her hair. She slightly adjusted a small pink bowtie on her collar, a trademark of her appearance that anyone who knew who she was would instantly be able to point out from a crowd.

The song tonight was a special one, and as her phone slowly buzzed with an alarm for her to get ready to go onstage, Vivian paused over her notes once more. The song had been inspired by her seeing an image of a young woman standing on top of a mountain, while lotus petals danced around her and swirled about, while the sun shone its last rays of sunset over the figure. The image had set off a chain reaction in her mind, and Vivian was debuting it tonight. It was a song she hadn’t named yet, and so for now it was simply labeled by one word: Overture.

Smiling, Vivian stretched her limbs, letting her black dress flow around her shoulders. As her incredibly strong arms began to carry the massive instrument along with her, Vivian’s dress filled with small sequins and reflective fabric caught the light of the hallway. The dress would make a lovely debut when she arrived on stage, and to her, that was all that mattered. The stage light, catching her dress and shining its warm, giving the audience her visage as she appeared to serenade them with her music, and to show them what exactly it meant to be a musican.


It’d been ten minutes since Cecilia had arrived in the theater, and at that moment the lights began to dim. A hush fell over the crowd, a few phones beeping with audio recording while an announcer walked upon the stage. The man was tall and was dressed to be very dapper and proper, whilst his back straightened up as he approached a microphone on the stand. As the audience whispered, the man tapped the microphone and gave the audience a warm smile.

“Thank you all for coming out tonight. Rather than have us sit on ceremony, instead tonight we shall go straight into the performances. I’m certain with all the rush of the holiday spirit, this will sate your need for relaxation, yes?”

A weak chuckle went through the audience. The man quickly realized his joke hadn’t worked and cleared his throat, “Ahem! Tonight, we have a special performance from a new up and comer in the musical field. Please, give a warm welcome for Vivian Kaiser, and her performance of her newest original work, Overture.”

A small clapping went through the audience as the stage went completely dark. Rather than starting right away, nothing happened for a few moments. The strangeness of this quickly resonated through the crowd as hushed whispers of worry began to fill the air, and a few patrons began to wonder if this was a mistake. No lights came on, and for almost thirty seconds, nothing happened.

Then, a sole note rang out. A long note that was drawn from a deep E note on the cello. Instantly, the audience hushed again as the curtains drew back partially, revealing a dark figure standing with their instrument. A moment later, a warm yellow light caught the figure, and Vivian was revealed in all her glory.

The girl’s dress glistened with beautiful yellow light, reflecting across her and casting a dazzling set of patterns across the stage. She stood powerful and proud with her instrument, the control over the massive weighty device evident in her stance. Not one bit of the Cello moved when she pulled her bow across the string again, and her eyes were focused down upon the instrument, and a small musical stand in front of her. Another figure appeared behind her, the conductor, and the two nodded before Vivian began her song:

(Overture- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ9RPTEkQW4)

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Cecilia's green eyes looked around the crowd when the lights started dimming, her anxiety gnawing at her again, fingers tightening around her seat, on each side of her tightly clasped legs. Her feet stretched themselves up on her toes, her knees pulling a little closer to her torso. This had been a very comforting position to sit it, as a child. Even with the discomfort in her crotch, it helped her forget she even had a package, back when she was extremely self confident about it. These days, she used it to be reminded of comfort. Forgetting bad emotions, like the ones rushing through her now. There was too many people. Too many eyes, that could turn in her direction. Logically speaking, no one would be looking in her direction, though. The music in her headphones, weren't loud enough to distract anyone, and draw attention towards her, and everyone's attention was either on the, still empty stage, or the friends and family they'd come in with, to avoid the Christmas chaos in the busy streets. But still, her mind was racing. Wondering what people thought of her. How pathetic she might seem, sitting her curled up. Small. Goosebumps ran up both her arms, as a shiver struck down her spine, her nerves almost leading her to rush out. Wasting the money she'd decided to invest in this experience, and just running all the way home. The trek would take many hours, and she wouldn't be home before next morning, but it'd be worth it. Kicking everything off of her mind.

But then the lights had dimmed down completely, and the announcer stepped on stage. She removed her headphones, turning off her phone completely, as she turned her attention completely on the stage. She nibbled at her lower lip as the announcer started, all of her nerves vanishing completely, when Vivian's name came up. A soft, inaudible sigh ran over her lips, as the announcer left the stage, and the room turned to darkness once again. The anticipation was throttling, excitement just growing, and growing, while waiting for those lights to come back up. Waiting for them, to show the star. The star of the show: Vivian Kaiser. Cecilia's old muse. The one person, she ever loved unconditionally. The one who taught her how to love. The only person, who ever truly broke her heart, and left her in pieces of her former self. But even with those thoughts in mind, she was still not angry. Vivian was -here-. Where she belonged. Playing in front of an audience. Her passion. This was right, and Cecilia knew it. She could not fault her for that. At least not right now. This was Vivian's night.

As the light came back on, showing Vivian there, on stage, Cecilia's lips grew a wide smile. There she was. As beautiful as she remembered her. Even more so. The dress and the light, gave her such and awe filled glow, making her beauty even more radiant. Water welled in her eyes again, as she watched Vivian prepare, her favorite tool in hand. Even her Cello looked glorious in this light, the two almost making a duet between just the two of them.
As the music started, Cecilia sank hard, her throat knotting up with a mixture of joy and sorrow, the melancholic song ringing through the large room. A tear started slivering down her cheek, a silent whimper escaping her throat as she started waving from side to side with the rhythm. She only took her eyes off of Vivian occasionally, in order to close her eyes, and flow completely with the music. Vivian's Cello was as beautiful as Cecilia remembered. The care, the passion. Tears where welling up and falling down both Cecilia's cheeks at this point, her radiant eyes doing their best to stay clear, so she didn't have to take her eyes off of Vivian for longer than seconds. She'd missed this. Missed just listening to Vivian practice. And this, was just so much better. Her heart started aching, thinking about how many beautiful hours she could've enjoyed Vivian's music, while she practiced. She could've been there for her. She would have, wouldn't she? Even if it meant they'd had to move to the big city? She was sure she would've. Any chance to listen to this music every day, she'd taken it. Even with the mistakes bound to happen during practice, Cecilia would've reveled in it. She could've been there, picking up Vivian's bow when she dropped it. Offering her coffee, when exhaustion frustrated her.

When the song ran to a close, Cecilia's cheeks where dressed in watery tears, as she joined in on the crowds roaring applause, jumping slightly in her seat as she watched Vivian, patiently waiting for the next song to commence. Cecilia was no longer leaning back, or making herself small. She was at the edge of her seat, with her hands on her knees, legs now more comfortably spread, compensating for her secrets. She didn't care about things like that right now. Her confidence was back, because there was Vivian.

 

[OldSS]

Music, to Vivian, was far more than simply an experience. It was a raw untapped well of emotion that flooded through one’s body, and that experience that came from it was nothing compared to the sensation. The song she’d composed was one that accented her instrument and accompanied it, and as the song began to slowly pick up, Vivian leaned her head backwards and let the rush of intense emotion flow through her as the choir began, and in that moment, something shifted in her.

Moving her body now in tandem with her bow, Vivian’s entire form was light up in the warm glow of the stagelights, whilst her torso’s twisting cast a multitude of dazzling and spectacular lighting across the room. Her bow drew long and slow strokes, pulling back quickly to finish off the note. Her eyes were shut tightly as she careened her head back and forth with the tune of her music. Many thought it was strange to be so involved with their music, but to Vivian, that was everything, everything that she could be, and everything that it should be. And when the music dipped down for her to begin her crescendo, Vivian let her muscles loosen and her body become fully entranced with the beat.

Each motion she made was dripping with raw passion. Every single breath that escaped her lips was filled with a desire to do one thing: live. Music exhilearted her to no end. And soon her strokes became short and quick, whilst her lips pursed together. Her breath began to skyrocket as she entered into her massive buildup to her apex, whilst her fingers moved higher on the strings of the Cello to raise the pitch. Soon enough the drums behind here were booming with her increased energy, the room itself filling with vibrations from the powerful beats. And the choir once again began to focus as the song became louder, more vibrant, beautiful as it continued to rush towards climax. The air itself became electrified as notes danced around Vivian, her thick hair dancing on her head while the lights suddenly turned blue, and then black at the last note.

For a moment, it seemed her performance was over, but that was not the case. Vivian panted and took a large breath before she extended her bow out to her right, letting it hang in midair like some sort of sword posed to strike. The lights slowly began to build once more as the piano started up again, this time in a flatter note than usual but still filled with passion. And Vivian did nothing as she let the music behind her bring the audience back down from their emotional rushes, only for the lights to suddenly blaze back on as the bow spun in her hand, flying back to the strings.

Now Vivian was playing in full force, her brow filling with sweat as she moved in perfect tandem with her instrument. No emotion was spared in her as she let her passion for her music spring free within her grasp, letting her body meld with her instrument. Suddenly the distinction between them became blurred as her bow moved faster, stronger, whilst her breasts pressed into the back of her instrument, her expression becoming tense as finally, gloriously, the music cresendoed again, leaving the room filled with their desires to become fullfiled by her Overture.

And finally, it ended. Vivian let out a small sigh as she dragged the bow one last time, and spun the bow in her right hand before letting it drop down onto one finger. Something that those who’d played with her for so long would know was her way to signaling the end of a performance. The audience ecrupted into cheers and a standing ovation, while Vivian herself remained silent for the longest moment.

As the applause continued, Vivian slowly opened her eyes. Looking down across the crowd, the woman let out a small grin of delight before bowing lightly, letting her gaze filter across the room. And as it did so, finally her eyes moved to the front row, looking across it, skimming over all of the new and old faces…

Old… faces? Moving her gaze back to Cecelia, Vivian’s gaze sharpened as her breath caught in her throat. While the audience clapped, a look of pure and utter dread filled her eyes, all whilst her gaze was focused on her former passion. Staring at her for a long moment, her breathing became intensive again, her chest actively heaving now before she quickly bowed again, before swifly picking up her instrument and scampering away offstage, clutching the wall behind her as she heard the orchestra go into their next number. But that alone wasn’t enough to erase the image… of… Cecelia…

 

[GrinningGentleman]

The intensity of the Overture was intoxicating, Cecilia's body swaying and tilting with it, along with Vivian herself. She knew this feeling, all too well. Remembered it, all too well. It should've brought memories that'd hurt, and it they would certainly hurt later. But right now, in this moment of pure bliss, Cecilia experienced only absolute joy. An old joy, she'd long since forgotten. The kind you only felt, when your heart was beating in sync with another's. Two people, enjoying something at the same level of happiness, that could only be described as breathtaking.
She felt it again. In sync with Vivian's emotions. All the woman's passion and raw sensation, spilled into a world of music. The kind of music you could only hear, from someone who truly felt alive with it. Someone who lived in the music, and didn't just live off of it. Vivian may have left for fame and success, unbeknownst to Cecilia, her glow had only intensified. While Cecilia had never needed any more then Vivian's Cello to feel her passion, the Orchestra definitely only added to the experience.

Subconsciously, Cecilia had placed a hand over her chest, her breath coming hard at this point. Like a long time smoker, having a hard time breathing. That knot in her throat, however, wasn't of the unhealthy kind. It was love. But not purely the kind of love, you experienced between partners, or family. But also a love for a craft, so beautifully sculpted, it could topple all obstacles. It felt like being young again. Problem free, in a world of chaos, and the desperate grind to stay alive. No worries about making enough money, to stay alive after the bills where paid. No worries about running into the wrong people, in a dark alley. No worries about not living up to others expectations. No worries. Only wonderful music.

Cecilia had forgotten this kind of emotion. Had forgotten what this kind of joy felt like. Music had always, and was still, her greatest passion, but she had no aspirations of grandure. She could never be as good as Vivian. Cecilia hadn't lost her pride in her work, but her confidence was null, and void. Her music, was for herself. Vivian's music deserved to be heard, while no one truly deserved it personally. Especially not Cecilia. Perhaps that is what pulled them apart? The fact, that Vivian's music needed to get out, while Cecilia's would always just be played in her own home, as well as the 'Last Stop' Tavern. Cecilia liked to believe that. Then, at least, she knew what the reason was.

As the music build to a close, and Cecilia's eyes finally opened, they where burning. Tears had welled up so heavily, that they where creating streams down her cheeks at this point. She inhaled a hoarse breath, as she watched Vivian's bow spin, before ending on her finger. The blonde woman practically jumped to her feet, hands clapping wildly, as a silent cheer escaped her lips. Her body was filled with so much joy that had to be vented, that she practically bounced in the spot. The rest of the crowd had raised to their feet as well, at this point, but there where no one else there. It was just Cecilia, and Vivian, because their eyes had locked. While Cecilia's eyes where met with dread, Vivian's certainly wasn't. Cecilia was smiling, a look of pride and adoration on her face. Cecilia's lips trembled, as she silently sniffled, still clapping a moment longer. But for just the few moments they looked at each other, Cecilia's expression changed drastically. The look of pride was still there, but the joy was waning out. Being replaced. Like it always did, pain, took it's place. Her emotions took a complete turn, from one edge of the spectrum, to the other, and she gave a cry as she turned around, starting to rush up the stairs in a brisk walk. This was going to be the last time she saw Vivian. Certainly. And that thought, hurt more then any abuse she was put through, a year back. Hurt more then breaking her leg, when she was hit by a car. More than losing her brother. What did she expect would happen? That the pleasant memories would just nullify everything? Make her forget about her loss, and finally move on. No. Not tonight. She called herself a fool, as her headset was brought over her ears again. Vivian had left the stage as well, in as much of a hurry as Cecilia left the seats. It was over. The final chapter in that book. Time to try and find a new one, a new pen, and get back on track. If any tracks still remained.


Cecilia went straight home from there. Her emotions where unable to calm, her eyes red, cheeks stained with tears. Her mascara didn't run, always using the waterproof. She was used to crying, at this point. She was used to pain. But still, she cried. Even as her expression turned a void of life, staring emptily at the passing trees and houses, on the way out of the big city. On the way back home, to the same old dreary place. Where she scrapped by, barely enough to stay healthy and functioning. She would have to call in on Yvonne, and put on an act for the next few Saturdays, rather than just playing a few songs. She needed the money now, having just spent the majority of her food budget, on another torturous cut on her emotions. This emotional state was perfect for a performance like her's.
That night, Cecilia fell asleep, dead drunk, lips stained red by the cheap red whine she'd engulfed herself in. Next day's early shift at the dry cleaners, was hell.

 

[OldSS]

“N-No, zat vas not her, zat vas not her…” Panting, Vivian clutched her bow tightly as she bent over the small mirrored makeup table in her small room, her makeup having begun to wash away as her tears permeated her face. The girl gripped her bow so hard she was forced to drop it in fear of breaking it, and in turn the girl’s fingers dug into her palm instead. Vivian let out a small wail as she felt her emotions welling up once more inside of her, burning so hard that the tears, now darkened with makeup, began to drip down onto the table, making her all the more upset and even more nervous as to what she was doing.

“Vere is no way zat vas her. She wouldn’t come all the way out here just for me… she wouldn’t… do that…” Vivian grunted hard as she felt a pang inside of her, setting her reeling as she felt her mind reset to square one once more. Her gaze faltered as she sensed her emotions welling up again, and she collapsed down into her chair as she stared at her ruined self in the small mirror, dim lights dancing across her face.

Shivering once more, a flood of memories that Vivian had let her mind repress all fought for the light. Memories of the two girls dancing together to their own music on recording, of their instruments making wonderful harmony together as they played not for music, but for fun. And most certaintly, the feeling of a lover both in her arms and inside of her, the two sweaty and stained from their passionate nights, but finding their fingers shakily strumming strings the next morning to the tune of their warm embrace.

“C…Cecilia… she… found me…” Grunting, the girl looked around side to side, trying to think of how she could approach this. Cecial’s face… it hadn’t been her appearance, but the way that her expression fell as the two stared at each other. How a girl, who had so vehemently tried to make herself better… no, no she couldn’t even think that. The way her eyes had filled with tears but her clapping, it’d been so… so… genuine, not without a single hint of malice… that… that face, staring at her while she strummed and played her way back to a point of pure emotion, and then seen it all crushed in a single instant.

The woman took a long moment to think, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her mind was swirling with the ideas of what she needed to do in order to fix this. But, was it even, her problem to fix? Yes, she’d created it but, she couldn’t fix this, could she? She wasn’t even sure what she could do to even begin to move forward with this. Her hands trembled as they found a small flyer of her performance.. .and a copy of Overture. They trembled in her hands, the paper starting to crinkle and soften as tears poured against them.

Suddenly, the pages were torn, and they were flying around the room. Vivian screamed out as she tore them up, throwing them into the air, and her anger growing when they simply floated down a few inches away. She stood up and grabbed them, tearing them again, and her face was wild with rage. She continued to tear and rip until her body finally couldn’t take anymore, and she fell to her knees in despair.

This feeling, rage, she hadn’t felt it in, so long. Seeing Cecelia had brought it forward again. That rage, it was festering insdie her, but, who was it supposed to be towards? Cecelia? Her carrer? She didn’t know, she didn’t know if she could know. Herself, that was too vague. She couldn’t place it, but she knew that she couldn’t just let it stay.

Still shaking, Vivian looked around the room. At her accomplishments. At what she’d done. She had to talk to someone, had to see this. She needed to know what was going on here. She had to talk to someone, someone…

She wanted to talk to Cecilia.

Her hands gripped tight again as she slowly stood up, grabbing her phone and dialing up Cecelia’s number. It’d always been there, blocked like the rest. Hundreds of voicemails all jumbled up and deleted in a fit of despair too great to listen to. And slowly she listened to the phone’s ringing, praying she would pick up. She didn’t.

Shaking, Cecelia slowly opened her lips to speak, but no noise came out. The voicemail tone started, and nothing still came. The German woman shook rapidly before finally growling and leaning forward, her muscles tensed too tightly, her mind wound too hard. She hit the end call button, a thirteen minute silence left on her phone.

She had to go and talk to her. Shivering, Vivian picked up her jacket and cello, sliding them on and putting the cello in a case she carried on her back. The massive instrument effortlessly moved up her back muscles as she slowly shivered, taking a step out. She needed to find Cecelia…

//Sorry I took so long!

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Her phone had paused the music it was playing, to chime a gentle, but insisting tone through her headset, on the way home on the bus. Not in an instant, would she have guessed who it was. She figured it was her friends.
'Where did you get to?'. 'We miss you, come on. This was supposed to be your night...' 'God damn it, Ceci.. You don't want to move on, do you? You enjoy being miserable? We give up.'
Cecilia imagined what her friends would say. Torturing herself even further, as she imagined her friends full of malice. The exact opposite of who they really where. Her friends would be supportive of her, till the very end. Would never give up on her. They'd stopped trying too hard, instead just spending time with her, whenever they could, and the times she allowed it. They where good friends. She appreciated them, more then they could ever know. She certainly didn't make it apparent enough.


Finding a woman like Cecilia, proved little to no challenge, if Vivian was truly adamant. She wouldn't find her around the theater, but she would know where to look. She knew Cecilia. She knew that she loved their home town, and if she had no reason, would never lead it. Another tink in the wheel of their love. Vivian needed to leave, Cecilia probably wouldn't.
Next to the bus stop of their home town, was a small motel, which mostly had several vacant rooms for rent. In any case, it was a great place to start her search. There, would be a young, tired woman. Asked about Cecilia, Vivian received the information necessary.
"Oh, Ceci, yeah I know her. You missed her with a few hours, actually. She looked like hell.. Yeah, she lives down by the apartment complexes. Her name'll be on the main entrance door, you can ring her bell. Buut, I'm fairly sure you ain't catching her tonight. That look on her face.. Know that one. Probably drowned herself to sleep on that Red poison she get's on the cheap down at 'The Last Stop Tavern'. Poor girl. In any case, if you wanna catch her, you can always just show up at the Last tomorrow evening. She plays there every Saturday night. She has a great voice. Quite unique. If you haven't heard her play before, I can definitely recommend it." The girl was a happy sort, even with the bags under her eyes. Renting a room at the motel would be cheap, and if qualities hadn't changed since before Vivian left, she knew it was quite commendable.

Should she try Cecilia's door, the young girl at the Motel desk had been correct. No answer. No life. Nothing. Cecilia was nothing, if not predictable. Trying the day after, wasn't much use either. Vivian's talent with music, was only outdone by Cecilia's ability to stay invisible. If she didn't want anyone to find her, no one would find her. And that day, she definitely didn't want anyone to find her. She want to work, tired, and with a roaring headache, wearing her simplest working attire. She hid away in the back of the laundry shop, only peaking out occassionally to clean tables, chairs and the floor. The rest of her day, was spent mending the headache with pills, and sorting papers for her boss.
After work, she wen't straight home, and straight to bed. She got off early on Saturdays, already being off around noon. Her heavy coat, lose pants as well as beanie under her hood, hide her frame completely. She was a Ghost, in a town that never moved on. Just where a woman like her was supposed to be. At least in her opinion.


On that Saturday evening, the Tavern was quite packed. Plenty of gentle, calm chatter. The Last Stop had never been a routy Tavern, and never would be, if the bar keep could help it. It was an elderly woman, still handling drinks and cocktails like in her spry youth. Her daughters helped her out on nights like these, and they where already busy handing out drinks to all the happy Tavern goers. Vivian would remember the elderly Barkeep to be Jenny Clarkson. She was a gentle old Lady, always nice to the children of the town. When Cecilia and Vivian had been young, Jenny had let them sneak in on Saturdays to listen to the acts on stage. It was more packed than usual, even with Saturday being the prime night. Several acts came up on Saturdays, but many came for Cecilia. And even more came, when they'd heard the news, which spread quickly in a small town like this. Cecilia was doing an act, rather than just a few songs as usual. These nights where special. So rare, and few apart, and it was a sight to behold every time. No one who knew Cecilia, was going to miss an act.
Cecilia knew this. She sat alone in the back, slowly stroking her fingers over the strings of her old Guitar, staring blankly down on it. Acts where taxing. Took a lot out of her, which is why she did them so seldom. Music and acting along with it, was no longer just a passion to her. It -was- her. Her music had become part of her, so she where what she played. She'd been preparing this act for a long time, and she dreaded it. Terrified, in fact. A part of the act, had been a big fear of hers the last few years. And now, she was here. Preparing herself. Preparing, for the great 'act'. Letting out every inch of her emotions. Every inch of her heart would be spilled out tonight. And she was afraid. So very, very afraid.

 

[OldSS]

Having to forge one’s own career meant that one had to be incredibly precise and accurate in tracking down leads and information. It’d been by pure word of mouth Vivian had been granted access into the small group called Musique de l'âme, or as it was known on the street ‘Soul Music.’ The group had been her ticket into climbing into her positioning, and Vivian’s inclusion had caused the group to go from occasionally getting to play at a nice club, to frequently getting booked to new events. The group was now absorbed into the full orchestra, and Vivian had since lost the connection with them that she had prior. Yet having to track down her entire positioning and lead after lead on a new place to play had given her a sort of street smarts, and a knack for figuring out where someone would go when they were finished with a particular activity.

Cecilia had looked incredibly upset, and that likely meant she would go to feel better. For a moment, memories of what that usually meant surfaced, but Vivian had to keep up the chase. So instead she’d tried to imagine what a depressed and lonely girl would be doing in the city in the first place. Likely with friends, maybe cast off and abandoned for the night? She wasn’t sure about that, but it seemed like a possible lead. From there, it’d been a bit of hearsay and a few stories from around the building that’d gotten her to figuring out the woman, in tears, had boarded a bus. Cross checking the bus’ location, it’d been a surefire assumption that Cecilia was headed back… home…

No, she had to stay focused! Vivian forced the memories down once more. She was here to talk and apologize to Cecilia, and to explain her actions. Not to sit here and wallow over the past. Vivian forced herself to quickly analyze the area, and a small motel stood out to her. Would Cecelia get right on the bus and go home? If she was drinking, not likely. Perhaps she would’ve stayed the night there, and tried to get herself in a more comfortable situation before she decided to go home without whoever she came with. So that’d led her to questioning the woman, and soon the information was given to her without much issue.

“Danke.” Her reply to the attendant had been short and sweet, just like she needed it to be. She had a location, and she had a time. It’d be a few days until the performance, but she had time to kill. The motel itself was a bit dirtier than she was used to now, but she’d lived life in the city with nothing. If anything, it felt almost, more correct to be in this sort of environment. Clean, but not to the point of being absurd. Cozy, but not in the sense to stay in all day. Vivian had checked out a room and quickly made her way back up via bus to get some clothes for a week, as well as her trusty Cello.

Vivian never left home without her cello. While she’d grown up playing the violin, when she’d been given the option to learn its more majestic cousin, she’d hesitantly taken up the offer. And in turn, Vivian’s body had molded into the new instrument, and she found that the two of them had become one. The cello had been a gift from the Orchestra, and she’d been allowed to keep it under the promise she would play for the group. It’d been a sort of, unofficial pledge she’d joined the orchestra for good, and that had been six months ago. Now, she and her device had become one together, and after having it painted a custom shade of warm chestnut with silver for the S-holes, she’d found the instrument she was meant to play.

Yet... strings had always been something she’d… shared. The more she treid to think about what she was doing, the more memories arose, and the worse it got for her. She recalled hours and hours of simply playing instruments to see what new notes would work, what melodies could be formed, and more importantly… what tunes would harmonize together whilst they shared a kiss between their stands. It’d been why she’d taken up the violin in the first place, why she’d started to push herself to learn…

Tears had begun to well up in Vivian’s eyes just thinking about it. The woman sniffed and shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts whilst she slowly leaned back onto her bed, shivering before she felt a long sense of complete need to rest. Searching had taken the entire day, and getting word by hearsay and guessing had been grueling on her feet and mind. But the memories themselves, wouldn’t go away. So, softly, Vivian let out a small whimper as her eyes closed, her body drifting into an uneasy slumber.
~
As Vivian entered into the warm tavern, a long sense of confusion washed over her. She’d never known Cecilia to play for crowds, or at least, not without her. Then again, it’d been almost a year since she’d left… things could change very quickly, very fast. Once inside, however, the sense of atmosphere rushed against her as Vivian heard the warm conversations and loud laughs of men drinking too much. Whilst she walked about, a sense of feeling, out of place had washed over her.

Since moving into the city, Vivian had been unable to shake being in formal attire. Even tonight, on a night that was meant to be casual, she’d gone in warm black heels and a beautiful black crop top, showing off her beautiful bellybutton. The top was made of fine silk with silver highlights, complimenting a set of silver earrings and a beautiful silver braclet. Her skirt was flowing but was still upscale, with more silver highlights. Her heels clacked when she walked, and it was clear she was drawing attention to herself.

Yet even as people stopped to look, Vivian wasn’t about to say anything. She was here for one person and one person only, and that was her Cecilia. She had to confront her, had to talk to her about seeing her at her performance… she needed to see her. She’d left her, yes but, she had to say something. She had to at least… at least see her, hear her music this time.

So, with her determination set, Vivian slowly forced herself to the front, annoying several patrons and finding a seta in the front row, third seat over. The girl sat down at a table, ordering a cocktail and a water whilst she waited… waited for her. Waited for Cecilia.

 

[GrinningGentleman]

The young woman taking her order, had looked Vivian over for a few seconds, but kept her peace, taking the order with a smile. When returning to the bar, she'd put a little haste in the last few steps, leaning in over the bar, to whisper to her mother and sister, who where both immediately interested, having seen gossip was on the way.
"It's fucking Vivian... Vivian is back." The young girl whispered, a look of slight worry on her expression. There where little chance Vivian knew the girl, Harley, since the two had never really been friends, nor talked, being several years apart. But Harley had sat in on some of Cecilia and her mother's late night talks, and heard a few description about Vivian, mixed with the slight memory of short glances. Jenny gave her daughter a stern look, in the process of shaking a cocktail.
"Language, young Lady.." She started, looking towards Vivian's table as Harley put in the order with her sibling. "One hell of a night, for her to show up. Hope Cecilia doesn't see her before she starts. Might just run off.. Or rush over to slap her face... God I hope not, but that girl is so unpredictable these days.." Jenny frowned lightly, a soft sigh finishing her sentence. Harley gave her mother a scowling expression.
"Language, old Lady..." She hit back, causing Jenny to smirk slightly.
"Hell isn't a swear, you little smartass.. Bill is waving for you, go take his order." They both snickered and giggled in tune, as Harley went off to take another order, while Jenny turned her attention back towards Vivian, and then the stage.

--

Back stage, Cecilia had started her breathing exercises. Her eyes where closed, as she hugged her Guitar close against her body, slowly swaying back and forth. Her breathing grew ecstatic, then calm as the wind, then held it. Rinse and repeat. Her eyes where flicking with anxiety, her head giving gentle ticks. Vivian was right in the assumption, that Cecilia usually didn't do crowds like these hence why her acts where so far apart. Too many eyes to judge. To hate. Dislike. So many different personalities, all judging her by her talents. A talent for music. But to her, it wasn't just that. They where judging her person. Her life. Because for her, those where synonymous with music. Her music was the raw emotions of her heart, put into tunes of a Piano, and a Guitar. So -that- is what they judged. Her heart.
But now was the time. The Tavern's jukebox had quite down, and the lights guy had given her, her queue. It was time. Time, to do the walk. So, she rose from her seat, breathing in another time, as she grabbed on to the neck of her Guitar, letting the other end rest on the floor, before dragging it along with her, through the short corridor, and then into view.

--

Harley had brought Vivian her order, just as the lights started dimming down, as did the chatter of the room. No. It didn't just quite down. It was silenced. Numbed. The few who still chattered, did only for a moment to avoid awkwardness, instead turning their eyes towards the stage.

The stage was dark at first, before a soft, gentle white light started shining in a concentrated area, revealing a large, bleach white Piano. By the Piano's side was a Guitar stand, in the back a wheeled chair, and stretched out over it was a Microphone. The silence persisted with the Piano in view, for only a few seconds. The gentle scraping of wood against the wood of the stage started creeping out from behind the stage. Finally, someone stepped into view. The woman who stepped into view wore a bleeding red dress, tight from her torso, where it revealed a gentle amount of her cleavage, just bellow the black leather collar on her neck. From her waist down, however, the red dress went free in curly waves, swaying with the slow steps she took. The dress nearly reached her ankles, only letting the audience see a little bit of her black stockings, before it met her black heels, that clicked with resonance through the biting silence. Over most of the dress, she wore an open, white leather shirt, with a few silver adornments on it's flopped out collar. On her head, she wore an equally bloody red bandanna, hiding her blond hair entirely, only letting a singular red, curled lock of hair, reaching far down in front of her right eye. It was clear that she had plenty of hair, the bandanna showing a bulge where her hair was probably tied up.
The woman drudged away, with a guitar dragged by the edge of it's neck, being the sinner of the gentle scrapping. Vivian knew this Guitar. It was an Heirloom of Cecilia's, having been passed down by her father's father, handed to her not long after the two first met. She'd been but a child back then, but she'd learned to handle it surprisingly quickly. The Guitar had a worn look, a few scratches and cuts in the lacquer, but that is how she maintained it. She kept it worn, and the over use of it didn't help that any bit. She put on new lacquer often enough for it to not wear down completely, and instead keep just the way it was. The way she liked it.

The woman seemed to walk aimlessly behind the Piano's back, about to walk past it, her eyes focused on the ground in front of her feat. But at the edge of it, she stopped, looking down the keys, before looking over the audience. Her expression was one of surprise, and confusion. She took a few steps back, nearing the microphone and seat, where she started looking around, as if looking for someone. She looked uncertain for a moment, before taking a few quick step towards the guitar stand, where she left her beloved, before moving back to take a seat.
She moved close to the keys, looking over them searchingly, before looking into the crowd. She wasn't scanning the room. She was avoiding eyes, but this wasn't obvious. She leaned in towards the microphone, just as she swallowed, finally filling the room with a little more sound, as the audience heard her wet lips click.
"Uh.. Uhm.. Hello.." She started, moving a little away from the microphone, tapping it as if to check if it worked, the speakers giving a gentle thud. She looked surprised, and sent an apologetic look towards the audience. She took a moment, before leaning in for the microphone again. "Sorry.. I.. Uhm.. My.. My name is.. Is Cecilia Loom.. I. I just thought.. Thought I'd play a song. For you.. I.. I ehm. I hope. That is okay." She explained and apologized, the shyness of her voice, showing in her face as well. The act was amazing, even though anxiety and dread was more her own emotions. Instead, she just looked shy, as well as far out her comfort zone. But even through this act, Vivian would know this wasn't truly Cecilia. Cecilia suffered form slight anxiety, had her entire life, but not this severe.

After clearing her throat, her fingers reached over the Piano, throwing a few glances over the bleached beauty, as if she was checking if it really was alright. There was a slight, gentle snicker in the audience, before Cecilia's fingers first met the Piano. She took the lighter tunes, as her fingers started dancing, playing the melody of a well known song. After a long intro, she looked over the crowd again, needing no eye contact with her fingers, in order to play the happy tune. And so, her voice started, a light, warm tune to her voice. She sang a song, Vivian might remember. Cecilia had adored it, since the first time she'd heard it in Toy Story two, when they where kids.
But the song was more then that for Cecilia, and this showed in her face. The genuine, warm and happy smile on her face, as she sang out the lyrics, of a deeply rooted love. The love she once had with Vivian. The song even fit perfectly when the time their love had taken a short break. When Cecilia had gotten worried about her sexuality. Weather women, was truly what she was 'supposed' to love. They'd been bullied a few times by other girls, but this hadn't lasted long. People weren't as prejudice here, as in larger cities, so Cecilia had gotten over it quickly, and apologized deeply to her true love.

And once the song drew to a close, Cecilia started slowly sliding further towards the middle of the Piano, one hand stringing gentle tunes together, leading her towards the next song, as her other hand moved the microphone along with her.
Her fingers started strumming together a new song, this time deeper, more chaotic. An instrumental, her lips remained closed, but her expression didn't pause. There was.. Confusion, on her face. The melody of the Piano, played the rushed, chaotic beat of a search. A search for answers? A search for a person? Reason? People drew their own conclusions, but Cecilia's heart knew the answer. It had been her desperate, painful search for Vivian. The search of her own heart, looking for what she did wrong. Was it her? Was it their music? Did she make mistakes?
The longer the melody played, the more depressed it turned, a deep melancholy in the tunes as she slid further towards the lighter. A lone tear had started treking down her right cheek, dragging along mascara with it, leaving a black stroke down her pale skin.
Even now, as she was looking over the crowd, she still didn't focus, or lock in on any eyes, as one song, slid towards another, once again sliding, this time towards the deeper notes, her microphone coming along. The song turned towards anger. But it was a desperate anger. A melancholic, desperate attempt at being tough. This showed in her face, as her body swayed with the melody. She lived in the music at this point, another tear starting to trek down her other cheek, her eyes pinched shut in painful grimaces from time to time.
This song was short, as the music turned more and more melancholic, Cecilia's expression, as well as her personal emotions, turning into deep depression. Her body started slumping, as she drifted towards the lighter side of notes, the song then turned into her personal heritage, her voice lighter, vulnerable. Even though this was her mother tongue, it wasn't any more natural than her English. This, however, was more pure. Showed where her accent came from, as she sang about how she wasn't going to fall. Wasn't going to break. The lyrics where desperate. Longing to be true. But it was clear to anyone, that it was the song of a woman hurt. Sad. Her body slowly swayed with it, but she never straightened up, staying slumped. hunched over. Curled together. Small.

As the song ended, a silence fell over the room. This allowed a few sniffles to be heard form the crowd, girls hiding their faces against their men, as they tried to hide how emotionally they got with the song.
Cecilia's fingers started very slowly building up a melody, while her back slowly straightened, her face still trying to hide, gaze fixed on the keys. Her fingers flew from the Piano, as she counted to four, one hand reaching up to rip off the bandanna from her head, throwing it on top of the Piano, causing it to spread out, creating a river of blood on the bleached white surface. She whipped her head first back, then forward, causing her now wild and untammed hair to cover her face, but not before revealing it's nature. At least four more streaks of black mascara and tears had stained her face, creating quite a mess of it.
With this song, Cecilia's body twitched and turned around in it's seat, while her fingers hacked away at the poor keys of the Piano, desperate playing as was commanded. She sang, and displayed a broken, crazy woman, who shifted and turned in her seat, legs unable to stay still, kicking down bellow the chair, then to the side, following the hair's frantic waves and whips across her face.
The crowd was surprised, enthralled and completely silent still. A few gasps had been exclaimed at first, one from Jenny the Barmaid. A few slight bounces on the chair, caused her white leather jacket to inch down from her right shoulder, revealing the goose bumped skin beneath.

When the chaos finally ended, her final word being exclaimed with a gasp, as Cecilia leaped off of her seat, pushing the chair back in the process, creating quite a clatter. She was flustered. Paniced. Afraid, looking down at what she'd wrought on the Piano, holding both hands over her heart. She shortly looked over the audience, before frantically grabbing for her Guitar. She picked it up, lifting it up to hug it close against her body, a silent whimper escaping her, as she started walking around the Piano. The spot light followed her on her way, decreasing in size to only light her up, letting the Piano disappear back into the background. Instead, a second chair came into view, with a double microphone stand in front, a microphone for her acoustic guitar, as well as her lips. Cecilia quickly sat down, shooting short quick glances around the room, before moving one leg over the other. Sitting like this was quite uncomfortable for her member, but it was the best one for her to play the guitar in. This revealed a bit more of the thin black stockings bellow her dress, and she hunched over her guitar with the look of someone embarrassed. Still afraid. She pulled her guitar close, licking her lips as she cleared her throat, and let her fingers strum the strings.

Here, her true talents shined through. The music she now played, was expressed with so much bleeding emotion, that even more tears welled up in her eyes. The pain within this melancholic instrumental was all too apparent, and a sound of gentle whimpers and sobs came from the microphone, even though she didn't sit close to it. Her body became one with the strings, swaying and tilting with every flick and tap of them. There was no song with this. No explanation needed. Just raw emotions. Just.. Life.

The melancholic song lead into an extension, getting even darker, as her voice started chiming in as well. This, was completely original. Bleeding from her heart, straight into the mind of the audience. She sang of the pain of loss. How the unknown, is harsher and worse than the known, even when only the known is absolutely permanent. She sang of desperate attempts of lashing out for love, only to be struck right back with even more pain. Of how memories can make you smile, only to tear you further down the bottles neck. A desperate swim in liqueur, only managing to numb any regular sense of logic. Any thought of moving on. Instead just sticking to what you know. Pain. Sorrow. Frustration.

 

[OldSS]

Back when she asked to join the Musique de Iame, Vivian had been asked one simple question. It was a question she’d tried to answer to the best she could, but she’d been unable to, broken as she tried to answer it, and forced to rethink the entire way she thought about herself. It’d been the night she’d played the most beautiful refrain for her violin she’d known, and in turn been called ‘tacky’ and ‘unoriginal.’ The question itself had still stuck with her to this day, and even now, as she watched her former flame walk upon the stage, the question still remained in her mind:

Vivian, what do you know about music? You know it’s an expression of yourself, you know it’s a passion. But what exactly IS music?

Never had that question become more relevant to her body than at the moment of seeing the girl she’d known for so long walk upon stage in such… uncharacteristic clothing. Vivian had always had a slightly more fashionable side to her, but she’d always been there to help push getting Cecilia out into public and facing her anxiety together. The very sight of seeing her having regressed, so very far into the darkness, it hurt her more than anything she could think of. Her fingers trembled as she tried to piece together what she wanted to say, but nothing came to her mind. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched Cecilia sit down, her eyes darting to the guitar on the stand and gulping as she recognized what it was.

The way that she introduced herself… it hurt her. It hurt Vivian inside to hear this. She knew that she’d hurt her friend, her lover, but this… no, this was beyond the worst case scenario. She’d, she’d done so much to hurt her. This was in contrast to her own performance, where her presence had dominated the stage completely, left no doubt in anyone’s mind who she was, and without a word had taken the audience by the throat. The words, the body language… it all made Vivian’s throat catch again as not only did Cecilia surrender control of the stage, but she had already taken herself down a peg in the mind of the audience.

But, when the music began, suddenly that lump in her throat was gone, and replaced was Vivian’s entire being turning cold. She remembered that first song, she’d remembered even transcribing it onto her violin just so she could play it for Cecilia. But her performance of it, it was all wrong. It was wrong, in all the right ways. Her tone itself, it wasn’t what the song wanted to convey. This was a woman full of bitter dismay, depression and regret, and to her, the song itself was warped. Yes, her face was calm, her fingers were vast, but a song that was supposed to be full of love and looking back with years of memories was… was warped into this.

Vivian’s fingers began to curl up around the lip of the table as the first song came to a close, only for a sole piano key to stop the flow of music. Vivian was already on edge for this part, and as it slowly came to fruiton, it didn’t help her mood in the slightest. The cocktail was shakily downed in hand as she felt the rush of emotion inside of her, and in that moment the act only continued.

Searching, that was what Vivian felt. It was a serach, one that was powerful, driving forward, chaotic in its means to an end but finding a way no matter what. Vivian’s heartstrings were tugged, but she couldn’t quite place what she wanted. In her mind, she invisoined it: the nights in the cold and snow, trudging along with her sole friend in the cold and cruel city, her strings and bow. Walking through the streets with her head down low. Letting the rain get colder and turn to snow while whispering to herself she was on her own path. The search, for who she was. And yet while her mind started to reflect with an indifferent expression, her heartstrings throbbed, throbbed in pain of what exactly was there, and she couldn’t place why.

But Cecelia’s body was what made Vivian start to feel a tear well up inside of her eyes. This time, she knew why she was crying, and that didn’t help. The pain around the outside of her eyelids only built as she felt the chaotic nature of the tune building, but this time, it wasn’t form outside of her, but inside. Vivian was a master at using her music to get into people, but this music, it worked from the inside out. Her fingers dug harder into the table as she downed a shaky glass of water, only to find that her throat was now throbbing and sore. She was pouring tears, tears she didn’t know she was pouring.

Those tears, however, brought Vivian no solace. Without even realizing it, her entire mind had been turned into an emotional mess at the hands of the music, and now she was being told that the woman was not going to fall. And yet, once more she found that her mind envisioned her upon the stage, the shouts and cheers of those around her reacting to her scores, whilst her heartstrings were snapped and left a bitter sharp pain in their places. The two women, feeling different emotions. One, beaten and finally curling into their shell to say they won’t let others hurt them, the other standing proud and declaring it with the boisterous roar of a thunderous applause. And yet both were still crying, and Vivian quickly dried her tears before the last portion of the song began.

The music shifted again, and Vivian’s entire body was thrown off. This time, her emotions weren’t linear, they weren’t singular. They were mixed, jumbled up, tangled together and all thrown about inside of her. The sight of blood suddenly dancing around the keyboards, Vivian clutched at her chest. No, it wasn’t, real blood, was it? It was just the veil… and yet it felt, too real for her. The music had penetrated her, and now she was having her emotions tangled up around it. And as it continued to move inside of her, it only brought more pain, more anguish.

The others were bouncing. Not Vivian. She was doubled over as though she’d been shot, and to those around her, the expression she gave may have seemed that way. She was panting, but she couldn’t get air. She couldn’t get what she needed, she was depraved, the music, it was cutting her, cutting her badly. The music, it hurt her, it hurt her badly.

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Cecilia's eyes pinched out a well of more tears, tearing her eyes off the audience for a moment, her eyes a mess of red streaks and outlines. The wrinkles of pain and sorrow around eyes and across forehead, made her look far more mature, then she actually where. A young woman in her early twenties sat on stage, looking like she'd seen a lifetime of sorrow and hurt. And once they opened, and the wrinkles smoothed back out, her face was more of a hurt child. Abandoned by friends and family. Left to cry for hours, until no more tears where available. The sting in her eyes was familiar. Comforting, even. It made her forget the judging, analyzing eyes that befell her. The audience, all considering her story. Wondering what she'd been through. But none of them could know. None of them could imagine, that this had all been her life, painted by music and expressions. No one could. No one, but...

She cut mid rhyme, a gasp, and then deep surprised inhale, followed by the click of her throat as she swallowed. Her eyes had locked on Vivians. The pain. The sorrow. It had all been poured upon Vivian. Cecilia's eternal muse, abused by the very words off of Cecilia's lips. The strum of her Guitars strings. The bang of the Piano's hammers. Those instruments, that had once filled Vivian with glee, when practicing together. When playing new songs for each other. Expressing their love. Expressing all emotions they'd felt. They'd made each other cry before, but never in malice. This, had been malice. This, had been an attack, directly aimed at Vivian, and though not all dots might have connected, it was obvious Vivian understood enough.
Cecilia's lips trembled, ash er fingers wavered, but stuck to the melody, just slowing it down. Her expression turned apologetic, eyes pinching closed as she lowered her head, her blonde hair stroking against the microphones pop filter in the process.

Cecilia's fingers did the singing for a short while, before head head slowly raised, her green eyes looking out from bellow her hair. Her expression was had turned from anxious, pained and apologetic, to instead an entirely new emotion of the act. Or rather, the lack of it. Her expression was gone, as she straightened up her back, ending with her final two lines:

"Just help me understand. Help me see. Why our love was not meant to be.
Then.. Then, you can leave!
Then.. Then.. Then, you can leave!
But.. I'd really rather you stayed. Yes, I'd really rather you stayed. Our instruments, once again to be played.
Together...

The last lines was sung with the melody picking up again, only to end in the final sentence, and then word, whispered silently close up against the microphone. There was nothing practiced, or refined, with those last few rhymes. Those last few lines. The pleading. It was improvised. Imperfect. A horrible end to an act, was the audience not already sold. Her fingers strung a few more finalizing notes, before her arms stroked across her guitar, giving it a loving, lose embrace. Like Vivian, she had an end to her acts. That, was it. Her expression finally got back some life, as it tilted slightly, eyes begging as much as the lips did. Cecilia gulped silently, as she attempted to raise to her feet. Her legs wavered bellow her, causing her to stagger for a moment, before finally raising with her back straight. She held her arms out, one hand clutching hard onto her Guitar's neck, as she bowed deeply.
Right on queue, the crowd started clapping. It wasn't a wild roar, like the one at the concert. But the hands clapped together a song of it's own. A song of appreciation. Of petty. Of love. Several in the audience raised to their feet, rushing over to the stage, tears welling down their eyes as well. The three girls who came up, was Cecilia's closest friends. They all hugged, and cried along with each other, desperately attempting to comfort the actor, as if the entire act, had been entirely true. They knew.
Cecilia smiled to them, giving silent thanks to each of them, as light started welling into the rest of the Tavern, and chatter started very slowly picking up again, as people started trying to pick each other up from the emotional roller-coaster. Cecilia herself, had turned her eyes back towards Vivian. Her expression, as well as eyes, almost seemed demanding, now. The begging, had been mixed with a bit of anger, as they demanded that she stayed. The tears of one cheek had been stroked nearly away by a handkerchief, the black tears of the other only having gotten smeared, before the cleaner had been stopped. Her friends had been surprised, but when looking where she did, they all started walking towards the bar, leaving the actor alone.

Cecilia started walking, with purpose, towards Vivian's table. She carried her Guitar along, as she walked around the chair by Vivian's side, slumping into it with a thump. She sat with her knees together, feet apart, and wrist's resting on the knees, looking into Vivian's eyes, her expression emotionless once more. She sniffled lightly, before a whimper escaped her lips, fingers letting go of her guitar, letting it tumble to the ground, as she basically fell towards Vivian, pulling her into a heartfelt embrace. She cried out in sorrow once again, as she rested her cheek against Vivian's neck, hiding her face in her hair.
"I.. I'm sorry.. You had to sit through that. I.. I hadn't.. I'm sorry." She apologized. While she was still angry at Vivian for leaving, she'd never meant to attack her like this. It wasn't meant for Vivan's ears. For Vivian's heart, which it had stabbed. Her anxiety was gone. She didn't care. In fact, she could not care less, what anyone else thought. Right now, Vivian was the only one she cared about.

 

[OldSS]

In a sense, Vivian had already figured out this entire show was a single attack on their relationship. Not just to them, but to Vivian herself. To what she’d done to them, and what she’d ended up bringing upon this innocent and beautiful girl. Something that no one should endure, and yet had happened to the one girl who couldn’t handle it. Her music, there was only one work to describe it: broken. Utterly and completely broken. Filled with regret, with bitterness, with repressed anger that was trying to boil its way to the surface. All while Vivian’s own mind flashed to the memories she’d made whilst she was away from this life.

Vivian’s entire body seized up as she heard that gasp onstage from the woman who was pouring out her heart. The irony of the situation came upon her in full force, as one girl who had pushed the other out of her life was now being given the same reaction to one who’d been crippled by said removal of the other’s life. Her fingers were white and raw from clutching the table, and just seeing those eyes gazing upon her made her entire heart drop. No, not drop, that was too easy. Her heart was shredded into pieces and blended together into a mirth, made to froth and writhe inside of her whilst the piercing jab of music still made her emotions mingle together in unnatural ways. And all this, in a single moment.

Yet nothing that’d been said already hurt Vivian more, than those two lines. Those two lines took the arrow that’d been thrust into her and pierced her fully and then back through, spearing out her heart to show what it truly was. The slowing of the melody, the silence of the crowd, the sudden improvisation of the notes… and those simple, short words. In that moment, all the posture and grace that Vivian had carried with her into the bar was gone. In her place was a girl, standing back in front of the bed, watching Cecilia sleep as she clutched violin in hand. She was shaking as she quickly grabbed a suitcase from the bend, planting that last kiss on her head before dashing out of the door. An idiot who not only broke the heart of that young girl, but destroyed her entire life.

It was clear from Vivian’s eyes, that had hit her hard. The strong poise that she carried, was gone. There was nothing in those pupils, nothing there that could be formed. They were vacant, blank, a far cry from the woman who’d given her all at her performance the other night. This woman, she was different, a husk who felt the full weight of the actions she’d taken in life, and the full sensation of everything that’d happened because of those actions.

The audience clapped. Vivian couldn’t move her arms. She slowly looked up to watch the other girls embrace Cecilia, and even still she couldn’t move her arms. Her own face was stained with tears, tears that she still couldn’t place when or how they came about. But her entire form was a wreck, and anything that anyone could do to help her wasn’t going to do anything in the slightest.

Then, Cecilia started to walk towards her. Suddenly her eyes filled again, but now they were of a woman in fear. That anger, that burning anger in her orbs, the woman she knew would never be like that. Cecelia wasn’t the type for this, she wasn’t the one to have a life like this. But no, now she felt anger, she felt passion, and most importantly she felt determination pointed all towards her, and it terrified her. For a long moment, her breath stopped as she felt the sudden urge to bolt, to run, to go and hide long before someone could find her, to wait until morning and then go back home and cry…

As Cecilia arrived, however, nothing like what she thought happened, happened. Instead, she looked up only to hear a massive thud against the ground as the precious guitar hit it with force. Before she could say anything, suddenly she was pulled forward, and warmth spread across her body. Vivian’s hair came undone and provided refuge for the girl as the two sat there, one crying into the night, and the other looking unsure and confused as to who they were.

“I…I…” Trying to form words, Vivian’s throat was raspy and hoarse. The girl looked around the room, and eyes were trained on her. She couldn’t make words, she couldn’t even start to make sentences! She looked down at Cecilia and slowly, her hands came to wrap around her again, pulling her in tight and slowly sniffing before she started to cry herself, this time a soft cry that emanated through the warm air around her.

“I… I can’t… I can’t even…” Vivian shook rapidly, “V…vat wasn’t you… v-vat can’t be you..” She gasped, “Vat music… it vas all vrong… so vrong… I-I can’t listen to it, it’s vrong… it’s so, so vrong…” Her accent was thicker and stronger than the last time Cecilia heard it so… long ago.

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Somewhere deep inside Cecilia, she felt bad for the fear Vivian was now displaying. She knew she was stern, in the way she stared. The way she demanded. But she couldn't let her leave. She wouldn't! Vivian didn't just pop by, to be attacked emotionally by her old lover. Didn't just pop by to see her act, like Cecilia had. No. There had been a purpose here, or Vivian would've never returned to this dreary old town. Vivian had wanted to talk. And talk, she was damn well going to do! Cecilia wanted answers this time. This time, she wasn't going to run. This time, she wasn't going to let Vivian run. Vivian running, had caused all this. She could've moved on, and found a new muse. Or even gone looking for her old. She could've mourned her brother's death, and remembered him with joy. But Viian's disappearance, and her brother's death, no more then a few weeks apart? That, had broken her, beyond any immediate repair. She'd curled into a ball, and become a husk of the happy, loving person she'd been. Caring about the world. Caring about the people around her. Just.. Caring. That, was entirely this woman's fault!
At least, so her anger and frustration said. Her heart, was singing a wholly different tune. Vivian could not've predicted Franz's death. Could she, she would've not left when she did. Had she heard about it, she would've returned, and comforted her. She could not've predicted, that the defenses against her anxiety would break after this, she would've reinforced it. No. This was not Vivian's fault. And now, she'd attacked her old muse. The one person in the world, she'd ever loved unconditionally.

The surprise of the woman now pressed against Cecilia, was not unexpected. But her guilt overcame her anger, and she had to apologize. And as Vivian's hair mingled with Cecilia's, she stroked her cheek against the other's neck, resting her forehead against her as she started speaking. Cecilia sobbed solemnly, as she nudged her forehead against Vivian's skin, before hugging her even closer, even tightly at this point.
"I.. I haven't changed.. You know how I play.. Can't.. Act my way around that.." Vivian would know exactly what she meant by that, as Cecilia's teeth clenched together, trying to hold back a whimper, that still hoarsely groaned through gritted teeth. Playing who she was, wasn't anything new. Cecilia had always done that. Music was a part of her. Her blood. And the raw emotions on the stage, was indeed her's. Her life, as it was right now. As it'd been the last year.

Cecilia's arms tightened even further, as she groaned. The hugging grip was at a painful strength at this point, her muscles even tensing slightly as their upper bodies where pressed together. She held that painful hug for a few seconds, before releasing in a sad, whimpered sigh. Her arms slowly stroked off of Vivian's body, resting on her shoulder's for a few seconds, before slumping down in front of Cecilia, as she leaned away from the other hurting woman.
"You're right.. Though.. It isn't right. Shouldn't be.. At least. It is all wrong. This isn't what I should be.. Not what I expected, when.. When practicing in my father's garage. Definitely.. Not.. What I wanted." She explained, sniffling again, as her hand did a poor job of drying the all new tears away, only causing a thicker smear of makeup across her cheek. Her statement was blunt, and short. A hint. A suggestion. She wanted to hear it. She wanted to hear.. Anything.

Harley had slipped through the crowds, to place a glass of Whiskey next to Cecilia. She didn't speak, just went away again. She could see by the state of the girls, that this was not the time to interrupt. And, it truly wasn't. Everyone at the Tavern knew, instead sticking to their own business and talks.
Cecilia didn't even react to the glass being brought, just remained where she was, knees still pressed together, arms now resting in her lap, looking to Vivian with inquisitory eyes.

 

[OldSS]

The sensation of the girl’s body still clinging onto hers didn’t help Vivian in the slightest, especially as the grip began to constrict. Between the two of them, by virtue of height, Cecilia was slightly larger than she was. And while Vivian had worked on her own muscles to carry her livelihood, the pure emotion that the other girl was feeling was utterly constricting her. For a bit, it felt nice, welcome even. It was a wonderful and welcome feeling to have someone hugging her without wanting to place some dirty talk on her. But… the hug itself hurt, and the sheer force that was being compressed on her made Vivian’s sides start to throb and her chest start to hurt form the pressure.

Yet Vivian endured it, all while hearing out what the other girl had to say. She, owed her that, at the very least. She was owed some pain for what she did, and what she did was still unforgivable. She had no way of knowing what happened after she left, but that image of her, still standing over the bed as she watched her naked Cecilia lay there, a smile on her face haunted her now. She’d pushed that night far away, away from her memory and towards the recesses of her subconscious. But, no, now those memories had fully returned… of the two making the most passionate and heartfelt love they ever had, as though to make up for what was now to lack; of the two kissing and sharing stories like they were going to see each other in the morning; of how Cecilia planted that last kiss on Vivian’s forehead before she started to drift off to sleep, only to know that she wasn’t going to be sleeping in the first place…

Act. Cecilia’s biting words cut through her like a knife once again, and this time Vivian couldn’t even mount the tiniest of defense against it. Vivian’s body burned again as she felt that knife get dug into her and twist around, only making her fingers curl up. Her breath was squeezed out of her as she wheezed in the tight embrace of the woman that was only growing tighter and tighter, all whilst her fingers were still clutching at Cecilia’s back, and the thought of her acting, acting on stage, even acting right now came rushing through her mind.

Then, the next dig, yet another one that made Vivian’ collapse. This time, when the hug was gone, Vivian physically slumped against the table, panting heavily as she stared at the girl in front of her. She had no answers, she had no rebuttal. Nothing she could say could soothe this Cecilia. This Cecilia, this wasn’t anywhere near what she remembered. The sweet, naïve and innocent girl she’d remembered, who struggled with her anxiety but played the most sweet and heartfelt of music, was now twisted by sorrow, anger and depression. Vivian gave her a long glare, sniffling slightly as she saw the other girl start to try to mop up her tears.

Wordlessly, Vivian reached into her pocket, slowly pulling out a hankercief she kept on her for times when it was needed. She had bought it recently, but she quickly took the glass of water she had and dabbed some cold water onto it, reaching up to slowly begin to rub away the marks of the dark makeup. The piece of cloth was utterly ruined, but all the while Vivian stayed silent, simply staring at her hands while she worked to clean up the broken girl in front of her.

“…Ceci…” Her lips forming the tiny nickname, Vivian’s fingers slowly pulled off of the table, “I… I can’t say, anyzing to vat… vat I must have done to you…” Looking to the side, she sucked in a long breath, “I-I don’t know vat happened but.. but… I… I made…” She stopped again. Was this a ‘mistake?’ Yes, but, was it? “I made a mistake. I, I came to talk to you…” She coughed, the pain in her throat from crying surfacing, “I-I want to… to tell you, vey I left, vat I did and vey I did it… but…” She looked around the Tavern, “I van’t tell you here. It’s too crovded… please, can vee, go somevere….. private?”

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Cecilia had felt the trembling of the girl in her arms, as her own constricting arms pushed all power away from Vivian. If she wanted, she could've carried her away with that grip. Thrown her to the ground. But none of this, was her intent. It was a rush of mixed emotions, coming through as a play of power. Her anger, wanting to hurt Vivian back. Her heart, wanting her closer than ever. Nothing was ever simple. There where always too sides to a coin. Two surfaces to a piece of paper. Right now, there where two sides to Cecilia. Battling it out, fighting for the last word in this given situation. Fighting for dominance of her mind. Neither side was winning, at this point. Both emotions showing in what she did, and how she looked.

Cecilia didn't even looked down to the handkerchief as it approached her face, only closing her eyes as her face tilted, wavering slightly from the touch. But she didn't pull away, letting the gentle hand clean her cheek. While it did, her head tilted against the touch, her lips curling the tiniest, pained smile. It only persisted for a short while, however, as thoughts of how long she'd missed this touch, and now that she felt it.. She wanted to feel it, but also wanted to slap it away. Rip the cloth away, and start screaming. Screaming in frustration and anger. Letting it all out, in a crescendo of curses and jabs. But she remained where she sat, her teeth gritting slightly again as she whimpered.

Her eyes opened again as Vivian's hand wavered, her heart already longing for it to touch her face again. She had to catch her breath slightly, hearing her nickname on the lips of the inventor. It had been Vivian, who first used that nickname. It'd stuck, and stayed with her through her life. She liked it. The sound of it coming from Vivian's lips once again, almost made her forget how many times she'd missed out of that feeling. Her anger, however, quickly reminded her of that.
Cecilia was silent, as she let Vivian spell her plight. Her plea. Cecilia sniffled lightly, as she looked down to her glass, her head shaking a few times, still having not moved any other part of her body. Her teeth pulled in her upper lip, biting at it, as she reached a hand up to itch the sting away from her right eye.
"I.. Don't believe you.. It wasn't a mistake. At least you didn't feel so back then. You where always passionate in your music. Aspirering. Always.. Had a goal. A purpose. I didn't." She started, turning her gaze back to Vivian's, her expression colder now. "This town was never a place for you, and your goals. Your dreams. You had to leave. And.. And it was -your- choice, not to tell me. Not to leave me a note. To not involve me, in those dreams. Instead.. Just.. Nothing." She expressed her true plight. The lack of knowing. Was she alright? Did she remember her? Did she regret? She had nothing, but the silver cat's paw on her collar left of Vivian. That, and a bleeding heart, of course.
"Regrets are easy. But.. You came back. Granted, only after I came by your concert, by pure, dumb luck.. Yet, you came. And I want to hear you out. She added, before looking down to her glass, her head tilting slightly. She reached out a hand, picking up the glass, bringing it to her lips, gulping down it's contents in one large lash. Her face grimaced, and she coughed slightly a single time.

"Fine." She proclaimed, clanking the glass down onto the table, probably a little harder than safely, the glass barely keeping itself together. She reached down in front of herself, picking her guitar up hastily, raising to her feet with it. She started heading straight towards the exit, pulling her guitar up under her arm. A patron of the Tavern carefully approached from the side, his wallet in his hand, proclaiming he wanted to buy her a drink. Cecilia held out her hand, avoiding the man with a shiver down her spin.
"Leave it with the Barkeep, Jenny. She'll send it down the line. Or don't. I don't really care, right now. Really.. Really not in the mood.." Cecilia proclaimed coldly, causing the patron to frown, more then a little offended. A pang of guilt immediately ran through Cecilia, causing her to look over her shoulder to the patron, without setting down her pace. Her eyes where still red, and her sorrow all to apparent in her expression. "But.. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed the.. Act." She thanked him, genuinely, up until the point she called it an act. She knew it hadn't purely been that, but she didn't want him to know.

Cecilia walked out onto the streets, her eyes fixated on the ground in front of her feet, as she turned towards the apartment complexes. A gentle layer of snow now covered the streets, snowflakes still falling from the sky as they walked. The snow stained Cecilia's dress, making gentle contrasts to the bloody red for a few seconds, before dying out, just getting it wet instead. She only paused slightly, stopping to look half way over her shoulder for Vivian, in case she decided to pay for the drink she'd gotten. But the second Vivian got into the streets as well, saw Cecilia and followed, the blonde girl continued her brisk pace.

Cecilia didn't stop her stomp, unless Vivian actively grabbed her, and held her back. Instead, just heading straight for the complexes, which weren't more then five or ten minutes away., which Vivian would know from the information she got the past night.
Reaching the complex, she lead Vivian to the second floor, and the furthest down one of the hallways. There, she got out her keys, unlocking the door, stepping inside. She didn't invite Vivian inside, but left the door open, letting her approach in her own time.

Compared to Cecilia's apartment, the Motel room Vivian staid in, almost seemed luxurious. Besides the electronic keyboard in one corner, as well as the note and guitar stand next to it, the place had the bare minimum, for a person to exist. In the middle of the small living room, was a couch, barely long enough for Cecilia to lay in, and a small coffee table in front of it. On the table, was a cheap boxed red wine, with a normal drinking glass next to it, with red stains at the bottom, clearly the sorry leftovers from the other night's return. Opposite of the couch was a small Television, with an old Dvd player on the stand bellow it. Up against the living room was an open kitchen, doing nothing to show what exactly Cecilia had to eat. Everything was clean, with the exception on the box on her table. Almost clinically clean. Even the lonely bookshelf on the far wall, was completely avoid of dust. There was also a door, which lead into the bathroom, which was closed when they entered.

 

[OldSS]

Whether she wanted to be right, Vivian knew whatever she said, she’d be wrong. What she did, even in her mind, was inexcusable. It wasn’t as though she had something concrete to say that she had to leave everything she’d ever known without even giving the girl a single note. She couldn’t point to some massive career opportunity that would make her great enough to move along in the world and become a new powerhouse in the music industry. Violin itself was a very common instrument to play, and she’d been rather narrow minded with her view of the industry at the time anyhow. So there was nothing that she could point to that would give solace to a girl seeking it, and as her harsh words once again cut her, she was again reminded of the situation that she was in.

The coldness to her tone, however, was what sunk Vivian’s heart the most. Cecilia had never, ever been cold to anyone before she left. Perhaps if they were so cruel that Vivian forced her to confront them, but even then it wasn’t cold and more forceful if anything. That force had returned, but with it a cold hearted slant that made her entire acceptance rather cold. Vivian didn’t even know what she had expected in the first place, but this, this immediate anger and malice towards her wasn’t it. And so when Vivian finally was said she could speak, it wasn’t met with a cry of success or a smile on her face, but rather a solemn nod and a tiny whimper at just how distant the one she knew had become.

Watching the interaction with the patron was brutal for her, if only to acknowledge again that everything had changed. The ol- no, she couldn’t keep trying to identify her by her past self anymore. By that logic, the old Vivian had been the one to make that awful decision, and not present her. Trying to separate the two would only bring pain and misunderstanding to her… and she already knew why she was doing it. After all, how easier was it to try and push ones problems off, rather than face them head on?

While Vivian had brought a coat with her, seeing the wind and snow whipped face of Cecilia only made her want to hit herself over the head for this. Cecilia, this anger this, this just pure rage. She shouldn’t dwell on it, she knew she should’ve left it alone, but she couldn’t. It was just there, and she knew it was because of her. She’d been the one to bring this upon her long lost lover, and now if she tried to do anything that would make her try to act like the past woman she knew, she’d only be steeping herself in selfishness.

That being said, when the two entered into the apartment, suddenly all the hopes and dreams for their conversation plummeted. Cecilia hadn’t lived like this the last time that she’d been here; the two had shared a small apartment, but one that was large, spacious and was almost big enough to be considered a small house. It was modest and beautiful, and Vivian had specifically prepped so that Cecilia would be able to afford the apartment if she kept working. Had, that meant that Cecilia had even lost the drive to work when she wasn’t there?

“Zis is a… vundervul place…” Vivian coughed as the two entered, that thought of her lover note even working…

Vivian didn’t want to entertain that morbid thought. Instead, slowly, Vivian took a seat on the couch, looking forward at Cecilia before she curled up slightly, her muslces tensing like they were ready to spring back out as she tried to control her accent she’d let run wild for the past year, hoping to reign in enough to speak.

“Alright… Cece…” Gulping, Vivian sighed, “Ze reason I vanted to see you vas… vhen I saw you, again, it vas as though, I’d seen a ghost. A ghost zat, I’d forgotten, but not forgotten. One that I’d pushed too far down, and it tore me apart. I couldn’t perform any encores that night, and I varely made it through the second showing. I, had to see you, because… I had to.”

“I… I know vhat, nothing I say tonight, is going to excuse vat I did…” Starting off firm, Vivian’s hands shook, “You hafe efery single vight to hate me, you have efery right to say that you vant me to leave, right now. I did, a horrible thing, because of what I vanted… and because, of vat I convinced myself, you wouldn’t benefit from in following me with it. And, before I can say anythink, I know, eferything is on me.”

“Cecilia… Ceci.” Vivian looked up, “You can… believe me about zis, or not, but zee night I levt you, was the hardest night of my entire life. I cwried myself to sleep, every night for so long, unable to contact you. But, I had to go forvard, and that meant I couldn’t vook back. And, even now as I’m sitting in front of you, I can’t gife you the veesons you’re looking for, for why it’s been so long since I sat vere… but, please… would you, visten to the reasons that I hafe?”

Shaking, Vivian gulped before averting her gaze, “Ceci… you vit vight in home here. You, you have such a vunderbul style of music, that blends, so wonderfully with zis place. But, every day I vas, here, I felt trapped. You learned the guitar, the keyboard, I couldn’t learn zem. All I could do was play my… my stupid violin.” Her fingers shook, “I loved my violin, but zat only made me hate it even more. I wanted to go somewhere with that… but, I alzo knew, you loved vat you had here, you loved it and you didn’t want it to fade. And efery day another letter of acceptance to a school turned out false, and false, until I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I didn’t vant to hurt anyone by leaving, but I knew I’d hurt you the most. It’d hurt far less if I were to just leave, if I vere to give you, one last night of passion and love to show zat I’d, never find another like you again. And that’s what I did. You, you were my life Ceci, but, I had another life that was, calling me, that was dragging me away, and it hurt. It hurt because I vanted to go along both paths..”

“You vuldn’t like it in the city,” Vivian continued, “I knew zat. I knew zat you’re pretend to be happy with me, pretend to like it, but you’d hate it, and you’d feel like you were nowhere. You vuldn’t want to be zere with me, and you’d vant to go home, each and every day. Rather than, compile that torment, I left you here…”

“I’m… I’m not, askink you, to forgife me…” Vivian gulped, “But, please, I ask one thing of you… even if I don’t deserve zis, please… understand why I did vhat I did…. And please, just understand for me, and I’ll, I’ll….” She gulped. She didn’t want to finish, “I-I’ll never show my face to you… again…”

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Cecilia didn't know what to do with herself now. She'd entered her apartment, and now she just.. Stood there. She might've felt shame, if that emotion wasn't throttled so easily by the feelings of anguish, anger and sadness. This wasn't a nice place, like what Vivian was most probably used to. It was a place to stay. Roof over her head. It was the best she could do, with the meager jobs she took. She looked over her place again, when carefully 'complimented' by Vivian. She grunted lightly a single time, shaking her head as she lowered her head, finally moving towards the Guitar stand.
"Wait till you see the toilet.. That's where the luxuries really shines through." She cocked a half chuckle, as she put the Guitar down, eyes aiming for the ground. This was a hint at the person Vivian knew. Probably the first one, that whole night, apart from the musical talent. Cecilia had always been very sarcastic, and loved to spin words of sarcasm. A trait she'd gotten from her family, bleeding a humorous, joyful sarcasm. Placing the Guitar on the stand, her fingers gently stroked the tip of her instruments neck, with a single finger, as she breathed in deeply. Hearing Vivian sit down, she finally turned around, looking down to Vivian for a moment. She stood there for a while, before finally breaking free of herself again. A part of her, wanted to just look at Vivian. Be in the same room as her, for an eternity, just to have a chance to look at her. But the moment she started speaking, Cecilia snapped out of it, heading towards her kitchen.

Cecilia listened, as she picked out two glass', filling both with water before coming back. She walked over to Vivian, looking down at her, clearly trying her best to get everything she said. Her accent. It'd gotten so much thicker. Cecilia had never wanted her accent to be choked entirely. She liked it. It was both charming and cute. Both reasons, Vivian probably wanted to throttle it. She placed one glass on the coffee table in front of Vivian, before turning around, pacing across the room slowly, as she listened, looking to the ground. Not everything was on her. Not her entire plight. She'd have to mention that, eventually. But that would mean reminiscing a cherished, but painful memory.
Cecilia leaned against the wall, besides the TV stand, slowly sliding down with her back against the hard surface, sitting down. She curled her knees close to her torso, but with her legs somewhat apart, allowing space for her member. She bit at her lower lip, as her eyes returned to Vivian's, taking in her explanation wholesomely. She took tiny, calculated gulps of her water, in between Vivian's words.

Cecilia's speculations, had been somewhat correct. It had been her aspiration, and goals, that'd lead her away from her. In a sense, it had been Cecilia's own doing. She hadn't made it clear, just how deep her loved wen't. How far she might've gone for it. But. She was possibly right. Cecilia might not've left with her. Might not've joined her. But having the choice, meant everything. If it'd been that way, she would've understood. She could've replaced one sorrow, with another, when her brother died. Mourned him, and gone back to her own life, remembering both of them, fondly. But she never had that chance.

When asked if she'd listen, Cecilia had pulled her legs a little closer, now resting both arms on top of her knees, and her cheek on top of those, eyes gazing towards Vivian in her couch. One of her hands slowly spun the glass of water in it, causing the clear liquid to swing around in a slow dance of obedience. Her head slowly nodded, but she gave no answer, just looking to Vivian with empty, thoughtful eyes. And as Vivian started, Cecilia took in a hoarse breath, gulping a single time as she listened. At the mention of what Cecilia had learned back then, a tiny smile crept up on her lips. The Piano, had been a chore. It was purely Vivian's fault, that she hadn't given up on that. Luckily, she'd kept fighting with it, and eventually learned to play it, while singing as well. Now, it had become a second breath. As easy as stretching your muscles out in the morning, in order to walk straight.
Then, when Vivian called her Violin stupid, she looked up with an expression of light shock. She'd never thought she'd hear that from her. She'd loved her Violin. It was a glorious instrument, far from overrated, as some proclaimed. So many emotions could bleed from a bow, and the instrument who's strings it strum, did not have to large. Personally, she would never understand Vivian's plight there. That passion, to learn more, where more where to be learnt. Cecilia never had that. Music, was a way of expression, to Cecilia. The ability to express emotions, she otherwise couldn't. If something fell natural to her, she stuck with it. She'd never learn another instrument, than the two she already knew. She didn't want to, and didn't feel she had to.
But she understood that was how Vivian felt. Not even extremely surprised, once the shock had subsided. Vivian had wanted more.

When mentioning she didn't want to hurt anyone by leaving, Cecilia's eyes closed, stroking her cheek against her arm, as she hid her face from Vivian's. Bad things often happened, with the best of intentions. This, was one such thing. More and more speculation arose from Vivian's side. Thinking she'd known what Cecilia would've thought. How she would've felt. She had been so painfully wrong n the assumption that leaving without a note, was best for her, how could she think she knew anything else? Cecilia could feel her anger building at the assumptions from Vivian's side. These empty promises, that she thought she knew best. It may have just been spur of the moment claims, but it stuck with Cecilia. 'You wouldn't like it in the city'. No maybe not alone. But maybe, just maybe, she could've come to like it, by Vivian's side.

When asked to understand her, Cecilia slowly rose her head to look back up. But when saying she'd leave again, her eyes whipped back to Vivian, as both hands slapped down on the floor.
"Nee, Vivya! Nee.. Dat kun je niet... You can't just.. Assume, to know what I want.. Especially not anymore. I'm not sure that I don't want to ever see you again.. How can you assume so? Unless you don't want me to!?" She proclaimed loudly, before almost gasping in shock at her own reaction, as well as the water that'd now been spilled on the simple linoleum floor. She'd learnt something new about herself that day, if nothing else. When flustered, and angry, she turned to her mother tongue. She'd not done that, for so, so long. She didn't like it. She felt bad. But the frustration had to get out. Had to leave.
"You assumed you knew best.. Back then. And you now see, how that ended up? You got better.. You managed. You got.. Stuff.. Look what I have? All I have, is my.. My music. And.. And even that, has been tainted by the pain I felt. You made me vulnerable, in a time when I needed to be strong. Strong for my family's sake. Strong, for my sanity's sake. That.. That, could've been avoided, if I'd been given a choice. I could've been strong, at the funeral! I could've hugged my mother, to settle her tears! But, I didn't... I was feeling the weight of not one, but two loss' that week. But if I'd at least understood why I had to lose -one- of them, I could've maybe managed. But.." Her lips trembled, moving the back of one hand in front of her lips, as she started whimpering again, tears welling up into her eyes again, as she averted her gaze, looking down by her side instead.

She took a few moments, before explaining. She didn't want to. She didn't want to remember her brother's face. Lying pale, and scratched in the coffin. Slowly, she managed to pull herself together, placing her hands close by her sides, pulling herself close up against the wall.
"If.. If you'd.. If you'd just given me a chance.. A chance to chose." She explained, moving both arms to hug herself, uncomfortable pain in her expression, as she looked around for something. Anything. But she'd never find the thing she looked for. "That choice, could've meant.. Everything. You might've been right. I probably wouldn't have left with you. But.. Maybe you're wrong. I was strong.. Back then. You'd found the best in me, and I.. Loved it.. But.. You took that with you. Disappeared, along with the darkness of night. You'd build me. Stacked up my confidence. My voice. And.. All that.. You tore down, with one foul swoop." Cecilia whimpered, lowering her gaze into her lap, fingers digging into her sides at this point, as she hugged herself painfully. Her spine shivered, as her eyes whipped back up on Vivian, a low sneer escaping her.
"So I chose -not- to understand! I want to chose this time, and I don't want you to leave. Not yet!" She shouted again, demanding that Vivian say. Demanding that Vivian face up to what she'd wrought. But in all truth, she was begging. Begging for Vivian to help her, find out what she wanted. Anger, hate, frustration, love, sorrow, joy. All these emotions where welling through her, and she couldn't control them. Couldn't understand them. Couldn't grasp any of it.

 

[OldSS]

In honesty, Vivian had expected Cecilia to collapse into tears and beg for her to stay with her again. She knew the old Cecilia, and she knew this new Cecilia. But neither of them would ever be angry at her in her mind, and so as she heard the slamming of hands down on the table, Vivian’s entire body jerked backwards in surprise. The feeling, the force of passion behind her former lover’s hands, the anger in her voice, all of it yet again stripped Vivian of the feeling of confidence and righteousness that she’d thought she’d feel, and when the girl was done, she didn’t know what there was even to say at this point.

Whether she wanted to be right, she knew she was wrong. Vivian had done all of this, on her own whims. She hadn’t included Cecilia in her decisions, and she knew that, above all else, had been why the woman had broken down. She knew she should have gone to her and told her the plans she had, told her what she wanted and then had a definitive answer from her, but instead she shied away and hid, hid away from what she wanted. Vivian’s lips trembled as her hadns gripped the couch, her body physically leaning back against the cushions as though each of her words were physically weighing her down.

“C…Ceci…” Vivian shok her head slightly, if only to hide the tears flowing in it, “I…. I von’t leafe, again, if zat’s vat you vant. I just vanted to… to gife you zee choice this time…” That was a massive lie on her part, but she wanted to give Ceci solace. Not that she would leave -she couldn’t leave after seeing her again- but that she’d said it to give her the choice. But she also wanted the girl to be calm and collected, rather than filled with anger and malice.

“I know, I know, zis is all my fault…” Vivian’s fingers curled up, “I nefer thought, what zis would do to you. i… I told myself you’d just move on and zat’d be it, but, you didn’t. You didn’t move on. And, I just made you go backvards when you neezed to go forwards more than anything…” Sniffing, Vivian bent over slightly, as though now that weight was dragging her towards the floor, “I-I nefer vanted to hurt you… You’re zee last person in the world who deserves to get hurt like zat…”

“But I couldn’t stay!” Vivian gasped, “You saw zee letters, Ceci! You watched me get rejected time after time after time! Fiolin plafers, a dime-a-dozen zey said! And, I vanted more! I vanted to be given the chance to shine, to finally do vat I vanted. And… and our music, beautiful as it was, wasn’t going to cut it!” She hissed, her own anger flowing forward now, “I had to do somethink! Efery day you told me I vas cut out for zis, zis wonderful career! Well, I took that chance! And now I hafe it!”

Growling, Vivian jerked her head up, only to catch Cecilia’s eyes once more. Seeing those orbs… those beading, glistening orbs again, that anger she had vanished. Those yes filled with bitter regret and anger, those eyes that should’ve been happy, joyful and more. They broke her once more. Vivian’s body slowly slid back down against the couch, her muscles not wanting to support her with that. She wasn’t the one who had the right to be angry now.

Selfishness, that was what caused this. Vivian had taken matter sinto her own hands, and in turn, all this had happened. Her body trembled as she started to cry, tears pouring out of her face again as her eyes burned from all the crying that she’d done. A silence fell over Vivian. It was a full minute of silence, broken only by sobs and tears. She couldn’t form words, not with those eyes trained on her…

So, slowly, Vivian brought a hand to her face, staring down at Ceci’s lap. Taking a moment to shiver, she let out a small whimper, “Y…You still spvead your legs out ven you sit down…” She let out a weak chuckle, making gesture to the way the girl sat, “I’d always poke you right there when you did that… you alwfays found that funny…” She sniffed, “….zis… zis is all my fault…

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Cecilia seemed to physically calm down a bit, when Vivian admitted she wasn't going to leave, that it had merely meant to be something she could chose. Cecilia wasn't sure that was entirely true, however. It hadn't felt like she was given a choice. She wasn't even sure she wanted that choice anymore. Her life was a mess right now, Vivian's was.. Right. She, was in a place that she belonged. A place she should be. Why should she be dragged down, by her pathetic ex-girlfriend? The fact that Cecilia was hurting, didn't give her the right to hurt Vivian back. Did it? Maybe it did. Just a little?
These thoughts ran through her head, causing her to give a slight whimper again, her emotions battling once more. Of course it wasn't fair. This wasn't entirely Vivians doing, and she knew that. It had been an unfortunate chain of events, that had caused this. Vivian just needed to understand.. How bad, it had hurt.

Cecilia couldn't look up, as Vivian continued explaining. Saying she hadn't wanted to hurt her. Cecilia stroked her hands against her sides, fingers pressing gently into her leather jacket, sniffling a single time. But when Vivian raised her voice, her redened eyes turned up to the woman again. Sure, Cecilia had seen Vivian angry before, but. It had never been directed at her. And, she still wasn't sure it was. This was.. Frustration. She wanted to believe, she'd done the right thing. She couldn't stand, having caused Cecilia this much pain? For some reason, Vivian's anger felt good. Felt, like it wasn't just Cecilia, who had mixed emotions. Who had two parts of her, vying for both her aggression, as well as her compassion and understanding.

When Vivian's tone changed, looking down to Cecilia's lap, the blonde's head tilted slightly, looking down to her lap. It took a few seconds, but that comment finally caused a genuine smile on the girl's face. A bit of color even seemed to gather in her face, as her cheeks flushed lightly.
"F.. Funny.. Yeah. At least. That's what I told you.. Ever noticed.. After we grew up.. And when you did that? How often it lead to smooching on the couch, or.. Sneaking off to have sex in my dad's garage? Yeah.. Drove me crazy, when my hormones starting having a say in things." She giggled lightly through her nose, closing her eyes with pleasant memories, her head tilting a little further. And this had, been a pleasant memory. Remembering lying on top of Vivian, bodies pressed against each other, in a dance without music. Her body shivered slightly, as the smile of pleasant memories slowly dimmed, and her eyes opened again. Her fingers where tangling with the now empty glass by her side, her fingers twitching. Her hormones where now racing as well. She wanted to touch Vivian again. Wanted to feel her body, as she tasted her lips. Wanted to taste the pleasure of her sex again, more than anything in the world.

Cecilia's eyes stared at the glass by her side, as her body was rushed over with emotions, blinking a single time, biting down on her lips.
"You where beautiful, on the stage.. I don't think, I've ever seen anything more beautiful, in my life.. Except maybe, when you where naked, in the bed by my side.." She started silently murmuring, her eyes trailing back up to Vivian's, a hint of a smile still on her lips. "Yeah.. Yeah, I did see the letters.. And I did hurt with you, each time you got rejected. But.. Every time you did, I didn't feel myself dragged further from you, and towards this town. Every time you did, my.. My urge.. To leave.. To join you.. Had you gotten a letter, accepting you into a school, across the country?" She stated, turning her eyes towards the window behind the instruments, her head slowly shaking. "I would've left this stupid town, and not looked back." She stated, barely murmuring the statement, as her eyes dropped down into her lap again.

"You.. Do, deserve your career. You did deserve better, then I could provide." Cecilia stated, as she started weakly trying to stand up. Her hands had to support her, against the wall behind her as she did, her legs trembling slightly. "You deserved an Orchestra. Instruments, that where mainstream, and actually had a chance at a breakthrough. Not. Some.. Guitar, to make Indie music, in a Garage with.." She admitted, stopping when she stood, leaning against the wall, still behind her back. She raised the glass she'd brought up with her, turning it in her hands, as her body trembled again. But, this tremble, wasn't nerves. It wasn't a pleasant shiver. It was her anger, coming out to show itself on her skin, as it goose bumped along her arms.
"But I deserved more too!" She demanded, whipping her eyes back to Vivian's, the grip of the glass in her hand tightening. "I deserved.. So much more, then an empty bed, and a fucking shattered heart!" Cecilia growled, tossing the glass she was holding towards the kitchen, causing it to shatter against the floor out there. The toss hadn't been close to Vivian, but it still shocked Cecilia herself, putting a hand in front of her lips. And, she'd cursed. Badly. She never did that. Practically, never did, at least. Sure, she did in her mind, when thinking about things, but she never said the words. Where had that come from?

Cecilia cried out, pushing away from the wall where she stood, her expression seemingly wanting to say more, and not to be interrupted, but she couldn't find the words. She paced towards her instruments for a moment, moving her hands to her face, squeezing it firmly, and stroking her hands into her hair, finally finding words.
"You talk.. As if I should hate you.. Above all else, I should hate you.. Only, hate you.. But.. But I can't! I.. I so wish I could, Vivy. Hating you would.. Would be so simple, but that hate wouldn't be fair.. Or.. Maybe it would, but.. I just can't! I can't hate you, for doing what was right for you. Even though, maybe I should, because what was right for you, destroyed me. Twisted my music, broken my heart. But I can't, because I still lo!" Cecilia's hands had basically started pulling at her hair, at this point, when she stopped herself from talking, having stopped by her Guitar, now leading against the wall by it's side. What she almost said, was so true, but she didn't want to say it outright. She groaned softly, moving her hands back to her stomach, hugging it tightly, wanting to hug the churning of it away, which obviously didn't help. Her eyes looked back towards Vivian.
"I.. I think. You should leave. Just.. Leave here, but.. Stay in town? Do you have.. A place to stay here, where.. Where I can contact you? I think we both need to. Think. At this point." Her lips where trembling at this suggestion, whilst her body was shivering uncomfortably. But she did need to think. Need to try and figure out, what exactly she wanted. Vivian'd said she wanted to give her a choice? Well, she'd have to wait until Cecilia actually knew which choice she wanted to make. She wasn't just going to throw this chance away, on the raw emotions she felt tonight. She wasn't going to let this mixture of emotions, make her choices.

 

[OldSS]

“Y-Yes, zee vere fery… fery… intense…” Rubbing her thighs together, Vivian’s mind started to dart to some of the more… lewd memories they’d shared. Even at a time like this, the sex was something that Vivian couldn’t get out of her head. It’d been a shock to meet a woman who had a member, and one that was so… well endowed at that. Yet after a long while, Vivian had completely accepted it. And with that acceptance had come accepting it into her body, and that was what she couldn’t forget. Cecilia was a passionate lover, and who was decipetful in how she acted. Vivian’s cheeks flushed as she recalled nights of ropes and being shoved against the wall, of exploring and smacking against her body. And yet, it was all for their own enjoyment, and something that Vivian had held so dear, she’d kept her night with Cecilia as her last all this time.

Yet passionate flames were so often quenched by the pools of despair. The reality of what they were in now came crashing down again onto Vivian, and no amount of memories could stop that. The girl’s fingers curled around her own glass, slowly taking a trembling sip as she nodded, staring into the dark red fluid. Nothing that Vivian could muster would even dent the emotional pain that her friend was feeling. The way that Cecilia was shifting between depression and anger stunned her, and it left her speechless.

As her speech became hate filled again, Vivian’s glass trembled hard in her hands. The girl bit her lip as the liquid sloshed inside of the cup, tiny drips spilling out onto her lap. Vivian couldn’t justify herself here, nor could she make any effort to defend. In this, she’d been prepared to deal with the depression, but not this rage. The rage itself was justifiable and she knew where it was coming from. Yet unlike the sadness, nothing she could say, do or give would make that go away. One could console one who was upset and give them solace. But anger was a fire that had to be burned away, and that alone was terrifying to her.

Her silence, however, was broken by a small gasp as the glass shattered over the kitchen floor. While Cecilia looked surprised, Vivian looked terrified. This wasn’t her, this wasn’t Ceci. She’d found some completely different girl, one who only had the girl’s form and was simply using her to make her upset. Cecilia would never had thrown that glass, never have gotten that angry. She’d have curled her fists together and talked to someone… talked to… her. Vivian couldn’t deal with this, she couldn’t cope with it. Her eyes were filling with tears again and she nervously turned her head, moving away from Cecilia as the revebration of the glass’ shattering filled the room.

When the mention of her being worthy of her success was brought up, however, Vivian wasn’t sure what to say. In many respects, she did deserve it. She’d forced herself to grow and aggressively hunted down what she wanted, and even now she strived to be the best and the most consistent of all the solo performers in the orchestra. Yet coming from the source of what she’d begun from didn’t make her feel any solace. Right now, in that moment, she couldn’t decide if she did, or if she did not. Seeing what deserving it meant only made that decision that much more difficult for her.
“I… I think you’re vight…” Shaking, Vivian slowly stood up, laying the drink down and slowly coughing, “I’m, staying at the motel by the bus stop. I’fe reserfed the voom for a veek… I thought it’d take, much longer to find you.” Wincing, Vivian coughed slightly, “Just… let me know ven, you want to get into contact with me again. You, hafe my number still… don’t you?” Vivian slowly lowered her gaze as she recalled hearing that sole voicemail opening message the previous night, and thus she knew that Cecilia had to still have it.

“But… before I go…” Slowly, Vivian made her way forward towards Cecilia, getting down on her knees before the shaking girl. Staring into her eyes, Vivian slowly sucked in a breath and leaned forward, planting her lips on the girl’s forehead. She held them there for a few seconds, letting her savor the small kiss. Pressing her forehead up against Cecilia’s, Vivian slowly whispered, “I von’t… I von’t leafe you, again.”

With that said, Vivian slowly stood up, giving her a soft look before she turned, taking her phone out and checking the time before slowly opening the door to the small living space, turning around to give Cecilia a last look before she made her way out into the night. As the door closed behind her, Vivian wanted to feel some sort of relief, some sort of feeling it would be alright. Yet right now, at that moment, all she felt was remorse…

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Hearing Vivian agree that leaving was probably best right now, a shiver went down Cecilia's back. Was it though? Wouldn't it be better, to just get all that anger out of the body, and then find a way to build up from there? Wasn't that. What she used to do? Talk. Talk about her anger, and get it out that way? Cecilia barely remembered, anymore. But it was right. Leaving now, was probably best. Cecilia had so much pent up anger in her body, at this point, that she felt she was about to exploded. She -had- used to talk about it, she remembered now. She talked it out, usually with Vivian. But Vivian had been gone. A week later, so was her brother, Franz. The two sole people, Cecilia used to confide to. There was no one else. She could talk with her friends, but they'd never really been able to remove the pain. Only dull it. Lull it away, only for it to resurface. She'd turned to alcohol, which definitely didn't help, and she knew it. Only made things worse.

Cecilia nodded a few times, having been told where Vivian stayed, a short sigh of relief exclaiming from her. Not far away. She wasn't leaving, to a place Cecilia was going to have to mentally prepare, and then torture herself to get to. Not the big city, with all it's lights, foreign sounds and strange people. Just, the Motel. She nodded again, when asked if she had her number, having seen the missed call, when checking her phone in the morning. There was even still a heart, in place of one of the 'V's' in 'Vivy'. She'd just.. Ignored it. Figuring, Vivian had wanted to hear how the song was. Or maybe, asked her not to show her face again. Tell her, that the big city wasn't her stage, it was Vivian's, and she should just stay far away. So she had.
"I do.." She agreed, silently, looking down into her lap again.

Her eyes moved up, however, when Vivian asked for one last thing, without saying what. She blinked lightly as Vivian approached, her back shivering slightly, as she stroked her legs together. She watched Vivian kneeling down, then closed her eyes as her soft lips met her forehead. A rush of warmth went through her body, as the soft lips met her skin, her head turning slightly, but never moving from the kiss. She took a harsh inhale, leading to a hoarse sigh, when the lips left her skin again, and she was promised that she wouldn't leave. Cecilia wanted to smile then, but she couldn't. Just sat there, writhing in her own pool of emotions. She gulped, as the door to her apartment was opened, and then closed again, only then looking up from where she sat. She placed a hand next to her, changing position as if she wanted to leap up, and rush to the door. Rip it open, and call for Vivian to 'come right back! They weren't done!'.

But she staid. And she staid for a while, before she finally made herself stand up, and walk over to her couch. She looked down at the spot where Vivian sat a moment ago, a smile actually curling on her lips. Vivian, had been on her couch. Her new couch. Only now, did she realize, how many nights she'd wanted that. How many nights, she'd wanted Vivian to be sitting on her couch, so she could have her head on her lap. -In- her lap, as well. A whimper escaped Cecilia, as she fell over the black couch, her red dress sprawling over it, much like her bandanna had done earlier. She stroked her cheek against the area Vivian sat earlier, the warmth still present. She realized how weird, and even somewhat creepy, this could seem to someone else, but there was a comfort in it. Emphasizing the point, that Vivian really -had- been there, and that it hadn't just been a dream. A nightmare? No, a dream. One, actually come true. Vivian had been back, and what did she do? Had a tantrum, and destroyed one of the four glass' she had, and sent her away.
She lay on the couch for hours, without even considering sleeping, just curling herself into a ball, thinking.

What could she have done differently? How could she have done anything differently? Her anger had been pent up for so long, not really talking about it with anyone. She'd talked about her sorrow and pain, but never her anger. She hadn't released it, in any ways. She hadn't exercised it away. She hadn't talked about it. Now, laying there, she was so certain, that there was another thing she used to do with it.
Cecilia moaned softly, when she realized it. Vivian. They hadn't always just, talked about it. She'd used it, to please her lover, knowing that Vivian liked it. She liked the sting of a slap, and the bonk of a wall. Cecilia hadn't used her anger to abuse Vivian, she would have never actually hurt her. But she had. Many times. Tied her up. Slapped her. Pushed her against walls. Only to make love to her, so good, that neither could really walk straight afterwards. Especially not Vivian. And she'd.. Loved it. The roughness aroused her. She now remembered the first time she found out that it did. They had been playing their instruments, when Cecilia.. Tripped? She couldn't really remember what happened, but she'd grabbed for something to support her, and got a hold on Vivian's hair. She'd yanked it a lot harder, than when a comb gets a hold of a knot, so she'd been about to apologize. But Vivian had neither winced or whined. She'd moaned. She remembered that sweet flush on her face all too well. Also remembered what happened afterwards. How the two, had started exploring this new venture. They where young, still trying to find new, and exciting ways to enjoy each other's bodies, and from that point, Cecilia had found a way to explore Vivian's. One she loved.

As memories and thoughts played around in her head, Cecilia's breath had started catching, slightly. There had already been a stir in her body, from when she mentioned and memorized having sex with Vivian, but that stir was growing stronger. Turned from a spark, to a downright forest fire in her stomach, and she felt her member starting to tighten against her underwear. She always wore man's underwear, how could she not? It had been extremely embarrassing the first time she'd tried it on, but it was obviously more comfortable for a woman, with her package. So, while it wasn't charming, it was necessary. These where one of the times, she knew why.
Cecilia gulped, as she exclaimed a low growl, punching at the back of her couch, trying to get those thoughts out of her head. But she couldn't. She sat up, her face flaring with it as well now, as her fingers dug into the soft cushions of the couch. Her anger was building up again, now, but not at Vivian this time. At herself. She'd let her leave her apartment, when really, she needed her here. Right now. She needed her to take that anger away. She needed to push her against a wall, and make her feel what she'd been missing. What they'd both been missing.

Cecilia's eyes looked towards her door, as a shiver went down her back again. She had a choice, this time. She could do, exactly what she wanted to do. She'd felt powerless to do this, for so long. She had to act on this. She had to do something. She was aroused, and she'd seen hints of Vivian's longing as well, hadn't she? She'd flushed, when remembering, right? Right.
With one huge pulling together of emotions and mental fortitude, Cecilia managed to get off of her feet. That was all she needed. She rushed towards her door, ripping it open and locking it swiftly behind her.

Cecilia had this determination on her face earlier today, as well. At that time, she'd also been moving towards Vivian, but with different intentions. Back then, she'd wanted to apologize. Right now, she wanted.. She wanted to feel something. She wanted to feel, something different then just hate, and pain. While she wasn't sure she could dull all of the hate she had, for what Vivian had done to her, at least she could mix it with something else. Something, she hadn't felt in so long, and something she -needed- now. She hadn't paid any notice, to the fact that the snowing had gotten wetter. The drops where heavier, and turned to water on her body immediately, and it came down faster. She was soaked in a matter of minutes. The Motels weren't more then twenty minutes walk from the Apartments, but before getting there, her hair was completely soaked as well, leaving it in wet locks down her face, the red one now showing that it was a lot longer than the rest. That one red lock, reached all the way down to her breast's, where the wet lock now stuck onto her skin.
Cecilia basically barged into the small office with the Motel clerk's desk, where the young woman, having the night shift for the entire weekend, gasped with surprise.
"Oh. Hey, Ceci. Great performance tonight." She complimented, resting her elbows on the desk. Cecilia managed a small, but insignificant smile, nodding a single time.
"Thanks, Nat. Uhm.. Someone reserved a room here, not long ago.. A.. Vivian? Vivian Kaiser?" Cecilia asked carefully, knowing full well that she wasn't supposed to give that kind of information out. Even to friends. And Natalia, as she was named, did look careful, making a slight grimace as she turned to the screen by her side.
"You know I'm not supposed to.. To tell you.. Wait.. Vivian? The Vivian?" Cecilia winced slightly at that remark. She knew that people gossiped, which was why she tried her best to avoid people all together, these days. Natalia had no way of knowing about Vivian, if someone else hadn't gossiped about her. But Cecilia was at a point, where she couldn't care less. She just nodded a few times.
"Oh, dear.. Yeah, she's in 2-5. Right over there." She explained, pointing towards the room in which Vivian staid. Cecilia nodded a thanks, and head straight towards it, with the same determination.

Reaching the door, she moved a hand up to knock, before a pang of doubt stopped her. Surely, Vivian was sleeping, at this point, right? She shouldn't wake her up, surely she needed her sleep.
The doubts where pushed aside, as her knuckles knocked against the door, her subconsciousness taking over. Vivian had left Cecilia, while she was sleeping. And never had Cecilia hoped for anything more, then that Vivian had woken her up then. She was going to wake her up, if that is what it took. Cecilia needed her. She needed to feel something else, then just all this anger. And there she stood, soaked, her eyes battered red by the tears earlier. But there where no tears on her face now, and not just because water would've flushed it away. But because it wasn't sorrow, carrying her right now. It was anger. And it was lust. This probably showed on her face.

 

[OldSS]

Most people who’d undergone pain would say that going home after an incident would be the worst part, having to deal with the aftermath of their emotional outbursts and what was happening. Vivian, however, felt nothing as she walked. The cold wind was biting through her, and she could sense that rain was coming nearby, mainly due to the odd twinge in the air that she’d learned to avoid having a delicate instrument with her at all times. Yet now she walked through the streets alone, each step pressing on the cold stones underneath her and making her that much more worried as to what she was going to do.

Walking alone through the empty streets… that brought back memories. Vivian recalled the first days she’d walked through the city, violin case on hand and a suitcase in the other. The snow was blowing and she’d become wet down to her core from it, and the people around her gave her looks of confusion and slight worry as she made her way through the streets. Yet that had turned to a simple dismissal, and she’d realized she was lost. The snow had turned into a blizzard, and it was too white to see. Vivian had panicked and tried to rush for shelter, and she’d found a bus stop. But there weren’t any other buildings nearby, so she hadn’t been able to find anything…

She’d panicked as she huddled her frigid body into the corner of the tiny little contraption, and almost cried. She was cold, tired and her limbs were freezing, and yet nobody was coming for her. Nobody here knew who she was, and nobody was going to rescue her. The phones were down, she had nothing to keep warm with, and she knew she was going to get hurt if she stayed out there for so long.

Alone… she had been utterly alone. The stop had been located beside a massive parking lot, and so to her, it’d looked like she was in the middle of nowhere. Vivian had been forced to stay there for almost an hour, freezing as she tried to figure out what she could do… but she had no ideas to. She was going to die if she stayed out there, and the feeling of having sex with Cecilia that past day had long since faded into terror.

Vivian slowly entered into the motel, not saying a word to the lady at the desk. She had a vague recollection of her, but it was a feeling of trying to place a single name in a sea of them. So she paid her no mind and simply made her way to her room, opening the motel room and letting out a sigh of despair as she quickly fumbled at her clothes, ditching them and tossing them aside as she made her way into the shower, turning the dim lights on while turning the faucet all the way up on the hotter end.

That blizzard had lasted three days, but Vivian wouldn’t have lasted long out in the cold. She didn’t know what she could do, and she had only one option left: to move forward. She had to find someplace to stay, someplace to be safe. She’d been left with no other options, nothing else for her to be able to do. Vivian had forced her body upwards into the air and started to walk straight ahead.

The hot water cascaded down Vivian’s skin as she let out a long sigh of relief. Her hair distangled and fell down her backside, letting her slightly tanned skin show off to the shower’s walls. She gripped the soap slightly as the memories flashed even more now, more than before, and she sniffed as she recalled the next bit.

She’d finally felt a building, felt something against her hands. She’d followed its outline, trying to find someone or something. But nobody had been there, nobody had been answering. She couldn’t see them, and her yells were being lost to the wind. She would freeze, she had to do something.

Vivian gripped the sides of the shower. Now, in her hands, was her violin again, uncased as she’d gripped the bow with the last of her strength, dragging it across the highest pitches she could. She’d dragged the bow back and forth whilst the wind tore and ripped away the notes, playing with all her frozen and cold fingers could play. It hadn’t been any song, just her playing notes, trying to get attention, someone to hear her and let her inside.

The notes had kept going, but Vivian hadn’t heard anybody. The bow had shook as her notes faltered and she was too cold, and she’d collapsed onto her knees. The snow had thankfully given her some cushion as she’d fallen, and the tears she was crying were being torn away before they fell. She’d dropped the violin into the snow, unable to move as the cold tore away at her body. Just as the door to her left opened and a cry of utter shock filled the air.

She’d lost her violin that night. They’d found her suitcase with her, and even her bow, but not her violin. The bow had been frozen to her hand and the suitcase handle was near her other, but that violin had been gone after the two days when the snow had cleared. The family had been nice to her, a simple couple that’d moved to the city recently and heard her playing outside. They’d been nice enough to house her until the storm passed, but that violin wasn’t there when the snow cleared.

The hot water above her stopped as Vivian pulled her hand away from the knob. Stepping out, her now hot and glistening gorgeous body was quickly wrapped in a towel. Vivian was far too tired to do much more, and so she simply held the towel over her body as she made her way over to her bed, collapsing onto it and soaking the pillows with her hair. Her pride, her poise was missing, just like that violin. And as she felt her face hit the pillows and the need for sleep overwhelemed her, she couldn’t help but see that violin turn into Ceci’s curled up body…
~
It’d been an hour since she’d passed out, and the knock on the door made Vivian groan heavily as she was dragged out of her slumber. The girl let out a mumbled groan as she slowly got up, yawning as the knocking persisted. Her eyes were dead and her hair was a mess from sleeping, and it was still wet from the shower. Grunting, Vivian looked around her room, her eyes sleepily finding the door and giving a long groan before slowly gripping onto the towel under her, lifting it up and gently wrapping it around her body before groggily making her way to the door.

Opening it just enough to let her face be seen, Vivian yawned heavily before looking blankly out the door, “Vat is it? It’s… it’s so late…” She yawned, still holding the towel to her body with the other hand. Her bleary eyes focused on the body in front of the door, the light behind her making it hard to focus on, “…Ceci..?”

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Cecilia had knocked about three times, before she was about to give up. Vivian had surely been exhausted. Or maybe, she'd even left? Had she gone back to the city, after all? Had she abandoned her again, even thought she promised not to? That thought subsided most of her anger and hatred, turning it into dismay and sorrow instead. But within all of that, was a slight glimmer of.. Hope. Natalia hadn't told her, that Vivian had left, so surely she had to still be there? Natalia never asked for people to pay up front, so she'd know when Vivian left, and paid, right? Vivian would -not- just walk out, in the middle of the night, without paying. She may have done an abysmal thing, leaving Cecilia behind, without even a word, but she was not going to steal hospitality. Cecilia refused to believe that.
Maybe she'd gone back to the Tavern? Gotten drunk? Cecilia had certainly considered that, when first Vivian left. But somewhere, she knew that wasn't true.

And when the doors lock was undone, all of that sorrow was removed completely, and back was that.. Feeling. That longing. Seeing Vivian's hair a jumbled mess, didn't help to deter that. That itch. It was late. And at that moment, Cecilia had considered just. Apologizing. Apologizing, and letting the woman go back to sleep. She deserved sleep, and rest. She'd come back, after all. And she'd staid, as she promised. But no. She couldn't now. Her lips moved, as if she wanted to speak, but she couldn't. Instead, she gulped, her expression remaining determined, and. Longing.

Cecilia reached out a hand, gently putting it on the opened door, trying to push it open a bit more. She wasn't forceful with this. She wasn't demanding. She was not here, to take something Vivian didn't want to give. Cecilia was many things, but she wasn't malicious. If Vivian wanted to sleep. Wanted Cecilia to go away. She would go away. But if Vivian allowed Cecilia to open the door, she'd step through it. Up close to Vivian, to the point where Vivian would have to look up, and Cecilia down, their slight height difference coming in play. Cecilia nibbled at her lower lip, her expression not foreign to Vivian, if she could recall. She'd had that, every time the two'd had a long day, and Vivian left the shower. It was a look of longing. Of something as simple, but powerful, as lust. And if Vivian still did nothing to deter Cecilia, and that lust, her fingers would wrap around the edge of the door, closing it behind her, and lock it. Without, even for a second, taking her eyes off of Vivian's.

Once the door was locked, Cecilia quickly reached out, grabbing Vivian's arm in a firm grip, turning them both around, to push the other woman against the now closed door. She wasn't completely gentle, in the act, the slam against it giving a sound thud, as Cecilia stepped closer. Their breast's met now, rest of their bodies close to doing so as well, as Cecilia's head tilted down by the side of Vivian's, their cheeks touching. Cecilia was breathing heavily, her warm breath touching Vivian's neck. Both her hands was holding Vivian's upper arms now, keeping her in place, pinned between the blonde and the wall. It almost didn't mater now, what Vivian said. Almost. If Vivian made it perfectly clear, that there was no inch of her, who wanted this, Cecilia would stop. But only then.

Cecilia tilted her head, pressing the edge of her lips against Vivian's cheek, as if she tried to tilt the other woman's head upwards. Lead her, to meet her lips, without taking full initiative herself. Seconds later, she let their lips meet. Her body was wet and cold, shivering, as she stole a kiss from Vivian, if she didn't immediately give it back. Her right hand stroked down from it's grasp of Vivian's arm, to the side of her towel, grabbing gently on to the cloth. Her hand then pulled, just lightly, letting Vivian's skin bellow the cloth feel her finger's presence. She pulled outwards, trying to move Vivian's body with the wrapped towel, letting their abdomen's meet. Cecilia still wore her large, red dress, but even through all that, when Cecilia pulled a bit harder, Vivian would feel the bulge, hidden beneath the red dress, inside underwear.
Cecilia's lips got harsher, her kiss pushing Vivian's head backwards, in a heated fit of passion, as a low groan escaped her lips as well. In that second, Cecilia pulled downwards on the towel, trying to pull it from Vivian's body, and expose her skin to the cold, wet clothes on Cecilia.

Amidst all this, Cecilia's mind was hammering. Screaming. Uncertainty was pushed aside, but it was so by force. Her anger and lust, had pushed it aside completely, choking it down into a tiny voice. This left behind a hunger, for something she'd missed for so long. Uncertainty. Anxiety. Anger. These where all common, and something she felt all too often. But lust, had been so far apart, since that painful week. But now, it was back. And it was roaring.

 

[OldSS]

Music itself involved having to recognize when something was happening, and make a shift to match it. Vivian had learned this during an onstage performance, when one of her strings had snapped. The audience had gasped, and her mind had doubted what to do. But it was still a performance, and the song was still going. And so Vivian had been forced to rearrange the composition on the fly to adjust for the notes now unplayable, and while the performance hadn’t been her best, given that she’d been thrown such a massive obstacle to overcome in literal seconds, the audience had still found the piece amusing and she’d walked out with a smile on her face.

The look in Cecilia’s eyes was one that Vivian recognized. That look of longing, that look that said that she needed something from Vivian. That something that only one of them could give to the other. And in that moment, Vivian’s gaze darkened before softening, and in that moment her fingers slowly released from the door, taking a step back so as to let the threshold open, and to let Cecilia enter.

Vivian stood as she watched Cecilia closed and lock the door, and a sudden twinge of heat began to rush through her. The feeling of want, the feeling of desire. Not lust, but a desire to have the other with them. It slowly rose inside of her fingertips, beginning as a spark that set them all ablaze with a light burn. But as she heard the clicking of the lock, that burn turned into a flame that trickle up her arm, moving into her shoulders. As it spread further inside of her, she watched Cecilia turning to look at her. The two didn’t need to say anything, neither of them needed the other to respond. That recognition had begun that flame, and now that it was lit, it was clear what was going to happen.

The sudden motion startled Vivian, and she let out a loud gasp as a dull pain shot through her backside. She was about to whimper, but that was when Cecilia’s breath was now against her shoulder. The feeling of wet hair against her cheek, the breathing, she felt like prey being hunted by the predator, one who’d come back from the last hunt to finish off what it’d missed. Vivian’s breath hiked as she heard that breath coming, growing stronger as the moments went on. Hands were holding her upper arms firmly to the door now, and Vivian couldn’t move. She was trapped, trapped by that predator, and she had to face its anger.

That thought should have scared Vivian. It should have made her throw off the predator and run. But… but something about it, it excited her. The dominance, the anger, everything about it was making that flame kindle higher. She was being filled with desire, desire for her punishment, desire for her fate. And when Cecilia took the lead on the kiss, Vivian didn’t protest to it. For a long moment she did nothing, and instead let Cecilia take it from her. She needed that kiss. And with that taken, when she came in again, this time Vivian panted, letting her mouth open and letting her take the kiss in its entirety.

Predator, taking its prey. Cecilia wasn’t gentle with her. Vivian’s back was being forced hard against the door, her arms weren’t being allowed to move. And even when one was, her arms were brought together above her head and held like handcuffs together. She wans’t moving, she wans’t leaving. She couldn’t escape her fate. She deserved her fate.

A tug on the towel made Vivian gulp lightly. The feeling of being exposed, of this happening this fast, for a moment the prey reconsidered. That passion, that lust, it was still there, but she was doubting it. She couldn’t grab the towel though, she couldn’t hold onto it. She shivered as the feeling of fingers dragging across the surface of her skin, but likewise she was afraid to be revealed. She moved her head up slightly to get away from the kiss, but Cecilia dragged her back down from it.

The towel came off just as easily as Cecilia wanted it to. Vivian let out a whimper as this happened, but now her body was revealed again. Gorgeous and flawless skin, sides that screamed of self care and will, a sculpted frame that hadn’t changed at all. Her breasts were still those smaller but perky orbs that pressed up against Cecilia’s body. But more so than that, now the cold and wet body against her own made Vivian shiver, and the discomfort of it rang through her form. But at the same time, that bulge was now shoving against her belly, and the soft glistening form of two lower lips beckconed beneath her. Vivian gasped, but she didn’t move, didn’t fight. She was prey. Cecilia was predator.

 

[GrinningGentleman]

Cecilia once knew Vivian, all too well. She still remembered the signs. The little ticks, that though the woman whimpered, and gasped, she wanted it too. Maybe didn't need it as much as Cecilia did, but she wasn't going to resist. And true to Cecilia's expectations, she didn't. The same catching of breath, and shivers of her body. This wasn't purely discomfort. The fact that she had to steal the first part of the kiss, only worked to excite the 'predator', causing her to inhale a breath sharply, when Vivian finally gave in, opening her mouth to let the kiss be consensual. The passion in that kiss, was unmistakable. There was still something in Cecilia, that loved Vivian. If Vivian hadn't caught it earlier, when Cecilia nearly downright said it, she would there. Her tongue parted from her lips, touching gently against Vivian's lips, before making it's way inside her mouth, demanding a dance with it's partner.

Both Cecilia's hands moved Vivian's arms up, before just her left hand was left behind, holding on to the girl's wrists, keeping them up. The other hand started it's tug at the towel, but it wasn't as much hesitation, as it was.. Taking her time. Even in this moment, she made sure Vivian wouldn't resist. She wasn't going to take away her choice. That had been done to her, and it'd hurt so severely, that she wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Especially not on Vivian.
But when the other girl didn't resist, the grip of Vivian's wrist's tightened, hard enough to stop the flow of blood to Vivian's hands if it stood on for too long. And in that moment, she ripped the towel off of her naked body, leaving her exposed to the elements. Exposed to Cecilia. And only, Cecilia.

Cecilia's paused the kiss, panting heavily against Vivian's lips, before moving close, as if to continue it, but instead bit on to her lower lip. She tugged lightly at it, biting a little harder. And harder. She bit hard enough for it to sting, at this point, as her right hand grabbed on to Vivian's side. Cecilia didn't even think about the coldness. The discomfort it might bring. Subconsciously, she might be thinking, that this was perfect. They where stark contrasts of each other, in this moment. The cold, and the warm. The successful, and the failure. The Predator, and the Prey.
Cecilia's teeth let go of Vivian's lip, as her eyes closed, nudging her forehead against Vivian's, inhaling sharply again.
"You.. Shouldn't have left. Shouldn't.." Cecilia whispered, grimacing with pain for a few seconds, before pressing their lips together with even more force, pressing Vivian against the wall again. The kiss would probably even push Vivian downwards, if it wasn't for Cecilia's tight grip of her wrist's above her head. Although Cecilia wasn't that much higher than Vivian, she would've seemed it now, and probably felt it.

Cecilia's grip of Vivian's wrist's finally lightened their grip, but didn't move immediately. She kept pushing the wrist's against the wall, as if she was hinting that she wanted them to stay. Stay in place, even though they'd be given their freedom a few seconds later. And so they where, as both Cecilia's arms reached up to her shoulder's, pulling her white leather shirt off of them, with a little effort. The wet fabric stuck to her skin, but she managed it fairly easily, tossing it towards the door handle, managing to hang it there. If Vivian had moved her arms, Cecilia would put them right back with a forceful push. She wasn't adamant about the wrist's staying together, just wanted her arms up. Wanted Vivian sprawled against the wall, and vulnerable. Like Cecilia had been for a year now.
Vivian hadn't gotten to talk yet, either, if she even wanted to, their lips still entangled in that long, intense, passionate kiss. Her right hand continued the chore of undress, reaching back towards the back edge of her dress, just around her shoulder blades. Her other hand reached out, stroking it up Vivian's arm, still making sure it staid. Like a prison guard, keeping an eye on it's charge.

Cecilia's fingers didn't have to fumble long, before undoing the knot on the strings of her back. Vivian wouldn't have seen this, but the dress Vivian wore showed the skin of her back, pretty far down, almost to her waistline. A pattern of black lace kept the two sides of the dress tight against her body, said string now loosened, allowing Cecilia to pull to the side. The dress gave quickly, allowing Cecilia to push the strings over her shoulders aside, and start pushing it downwards. It was lucky that the dress wasn't actually not that tight, at this point, fairly easily pulled outwards, over her luscious hips, in order to let it drop to the floor. Taking a step, Cecilia kicked it aside, sending her heels away as well in the process. Now, there was only a simple, cheap white bra, underwear and knee high stockings, between the two bodies in the room.

Cecilia couldn't wait any longer. She needed to feel their bodies together, and she took that. Both her hands moved to Vivian's arms, making sure they staid where they where, before slowly stroking downwards. Her hands where still cold, as well as little wet, creating a cold layer of water behind it. They stroked down to Vivian's sides, before grabbing on to her firmly, and pulling their bodies completely together, only the size of her ample bosom keeping some of their skin apart at this point. She stroked her hands around Vivian, putting her in a firm, but loving embrace, finally letting their lips part, causing her to gasp for air. She'd forgotten to breathe, and even if she'd been trying, it would've been hard around the heated intensity of the kiss. She either completely ignored how cold her body had to be against Vivian's, or she just forgot to think about it. But that cold, wouldn't last for very long, considering how warm Vivian was. She was burning, sending shivers down Cecilia's cold body, due to the sudden change of body temperature. Her lips moved to kiss Vivian's cheek, only to bite the skin she'd kissed gently. As she did so, her hands started roaming, one stroking down the other girl's back, not stopping until it had a handful of Vivian's bottom, squeezing it firmly. Harshly, even. Her left hand stroked upwards, cold fingertips stroking up Vivian's spine, until they reached her neck. Here, her fingers stroked outwards, holding on to her for a few seconds, as her lips kissed further down Vivian's head, soon biting on to her neck, definitely leaving a bite mark that'd be there for a while. However, after the bite, her lips turned to kissing again, kissing around the now stinging skin. Her hand also continued upwards, curling into Vivian's hair, only to tighten nearly into a fist, pulling at the girl's hair.

Cecilia didn't speak again. She just took, and she gave. Getting the full feel of Vivian's pristine body once more. Her own, weren't nearly as well treated as it used to. Barely visible lines around her stomach, showed the signs of someone not eating well. Her skin was a little more pale, than it used to be, having caught very little sun. Cecilia was slightly worse, for wear, but there was no doubt, that nothing had changed between her legs. The bulge of her fully erect member, pressed against Vivian's abdomen, giving her a good idea, of what was coming. Even being this cold, Cecilia had no problem readying up. She'd needed this. For so, so long. Her member had been untouched, by other's than herself, since Vivian left. Other parts hadn't, but Cecilia was not going to mention this to Vivian for.. Possibly a long, long time. Hopefully never.