Lessons in the Dark [ Jagd & Bear ]

Rultan, as per his usual, was full of carefully and emotionless explanations for everything. She was almost growing irate with the fact that as much as he did nothing, he felt nothing. There was nothing behind his words, no true regret that he almost cost her her life in battle. If Sunage had wanted to, he could have killed her rather than nurse her somewhat back to health and given her a chance at learning from someone else.

She still wasn’t sure what Sunage’s motives were for trying to influence her, but it was becoming steadily more obvious to her that he was more knowledgeable of her as a person that her own master had been in all of the time he had taken to get to know her. Perhaps she had never truly been meant to follow the path of the Jedi Knights and was instead meant to turn towards the Dark Side….

No, she was being too hasty. She didn’t even know Sunage, much less trust him.

Lina concentrated harder on her breathing, worked on steadying herself again before she made a decision that she regretted. It wouldn’t do well for her to lose control and storm away from Rultan in a huff to join the Dark Side with questionable figures that may or may not want to kill her in the long run.

But that didn’t mean she would forgive Rultan so easily, her arms crossing over her chest as she stared at the wall to give herself a focus point to aide in her controlling her emotions. “I only met one of the Sith.” She said after a while, debating whether or not to tell all of the information she knew. In the end, she decided to hold back some of it because she hadn’t made up her mind on how she felt about Rultan anymore, “He was a Zabrak. He didn’t give his name.”

Deep breath in to steady herself, followed by it slowly releasing. “He didn’t do much. He talked a lot. Asked questions. He let me go. Said that he didn’t want bloodshed.” She shrugged, did another steady breath. “He didn’t do anything to tempt me to the Dark Side. He just talked.”

Well, not quite. Her mind drifted to another piece of information that she was purposefully keeping out, but that was something she hadn’t made a decision about herself on how she felt. That had been a private moment between herself and Sunage and it wasn’t going to be shared so easily with Rultan until she knew how she felt about it.
 
His padawan was being vague. Too vague. It was frustrating but Rultan was the master of his emotions, not the other way around. Slowly he drew himself up from his seated position and walked across the room. He grabbed a computer pad and turned on the program that allowed for drawing to be done upon it. It took him a second as its not one he uses often but once the screen had shifted colors, ready for images to be traced upon its surface Rultan crossed the room quickly to hold out the computer to Lina. “Draw his tattoos. Those you remember. This is important for identifying which Sith it is.” The word Sith comes with an ever so slight hiss at the beginning. Those evil scum who had created this war and were now making it personal going after his student.

Dark eyes gazed steadily down at Lina. “What did he talk to you about? What were the questions? This is how they tempt you, to make doubt grow in your heart, in your resolve. Please, you have to help me so I can help you.” He pleaded with her. This was serious and she was not taking it so. He couldn’t even consider the alternative, that she was already tempted and that was why she hid information from her. No, she had to be acting flippant with the information because she did not see the enemy as the enemy, as a threat.

It was galling to think that the enemy could turn her so easily and so Rultan did not think of it. Instead he hoped against hope she did not meet the Zabrak he feared she had even though he already knew the answer, he was unwilling to look inside and confirm it.

The Jedi Master was having to work at his own control. Something that was part of the definition of who he was, now was something he had to work at to maintain. The engagement had rattled him, his student being kidnapped shook him and now having her hide from him was just too much. He hoped that the next words from her mouth, the illustration would rest his worry and allow his calm to once more reign supreme.

"If he didn't want bloodshed then why did he blow up the room we were in with his and our soldiers inside it?" Rultan asks softly.
 
It was too obvious that she was holding information back and she could tell it, but she was still reluctant to tell him anything further. She didn’t know what Sunage would mean to Rultan, but she did know that if she gave all of her secrets away then she would be left still grasping at straws. If she kept the upper hand on her master then she would have a better chance at making a decision. After all - he couldn’t even teach her the basics that she needed, so why would she continue to lean on him for deciding what was best.

She watched as he brought up the program in which he expected her to draw out the Sith for him so that he could identify him. Her lips tugged down at the corners but she forced her face to return to neutrality once again so that Rultan wouldn’t know that it displeased her to do this. Her eyes closed as she tapped against the screen, letting his face come to her mind’s eye - he was handsome in a way that was hard to explain, as the Zabrak were not quite the type that one would consider “cute”. The tattoos definitely added a strange appeal to him, as well as the horns that lined his head, but it was possibly the more human side of him that attracted her as well.

“I am not an artist.” She muttered, though her hand proved to have a decent enough skill at drawing once she got to it. And her hand was just as much a liar as her lips were, as the face that she drew was not that of Sunage, but of another Sith she’d seen only in pictures. Lina closed her eyes, sending out what she mentally referred to as ‘feelers’ once again, though she didn’t quite want contact yet. She was using it almost like a stress ball, as it soothed her rage to know she was more capable than her own master thought her to be. And frankly, it was a strange excitement to have a dirty secret.

Lina came back to paying attention to Rultan again, rolling over the questions that Sunage had asked her about. If she told all that she knew then Rultan would suspect her more than what he already did, so she decided that using the least amount of information was the best to give. “I don’t know,” She pinched at the bridge of her nose, “He wasn’t making sense. He kept asking about what I knew of the Sith and what I had been told.” All good lies had a seed of truth, “He made me painfully aware of how little I was taught.”

She didn’t like his last question, but it was one she should have expected, “Let me rephrase then - he didn’t want any further bloodshed. I don’t know why he sent me back. He didn’t kill me and for that I’m thankful. Maybe he wanted to send you a message that he’s more powerful than you.” She slid the last part in casually, gauging his face for a reaction of any sort.
 
There was no answer this time from Sunage. Whether distance or being in the presence of her Master or he wasn’t answering or something else, she was flexing her ability but no one picked up on the other end.

The picture was scrutinized and Rultan nodded slowly. This was not what he expected. He felt who it was they fought back in that spaceport and this was not that Zabrak. This was someone else. Someone who did not cause him such consternation. Why was she handed off from one to another or was he somehow wrong back there during the fight? How could this be? It seemed impossible he would make such a mistake. Yet here it was before him. Zabrak do not change their tattoos. Add to them rarely but this one was unlike in his tattoos let alone face shape or horns. It wasn’t him. This was some relief but it honestly troubled Rultan even more.

This threw him off as the rest of the information, what little there was came from the lips of his padawan. His brow creased ever so slightly in concern at the Sith’s line of questioning. “They want you to see errors in us and similarities with them. It is a gentle way for them to tempt you. Again, this is what the Sith does.” Yet she made another dig about her education. Rultan had to purse his lips together as he nodded. “I will speak to the Council about your education. Perhaps you are right.” Well that was vague and was certainly passing the buck upstairs but what this could mean for Lina was obfuscated.

Rultan perhaps was wrong in taking such a troubled, older student and especially taking her into war without her being even half trained. It could be the fault of his pride. After all he had been an exemplary Jedi in so many other ways and here he was with a student being tempted to the Dark Side. Steps would need to be taken to ensure that she was not lost to the Sith.

“Hm… I will have to thank him the next time we meet. So they did not cause you any harm? Or interrogate you about the Republics positions?” Rultan really had to rule out that his student had aided the enemy in any way. This was troubling. That the Sith had gotten to his student and perhaps implanted seeds of doubt caused the tiny muscle twitch at the corner of his eye. The challenge to his own mastery of the Force was neither here nor there. Rultan was not a conceited or prideful man. He could take such shots at his ego and roll with them.

“You should rest, meditate. I must go figure out our next move and speak with the Council.” Rultan advised simply as he took a couple steps back, still holding onto the computer pad.
 
Rultan was, externally at least, completely unphased by what she was telling him and the Zabrak that she’d drawn. It wasn’t a good thing that she was lying to her master, but it was a thing of necessity. She wanted nothing more than to be completely honest with him, but it wouldn’t do good if she admitted that she had purposefully withheld information away from him. That would most likely upset him as she was supposed to be telling him everything in situations like this. After all, that would be for the greater good, wouldn’t it?

Lina was already acting like a Sith, though she didn’t consider herself to be really falling into the man’s grasp as easily as Rultan would surely think that she was if he were to ever know of what was going on in her mind. “No, he didn’t cause me any harm. I woke up and I was bandaged from where I’d been thrown and had been given some sort of painkiller because I should have been hurting much more.” She said, putting more seeds of truth in her overall lie.

“He didn’t interrogate me about our knowledge. He asked about mine.” She said, shrugging, “I don’t know what his purpose was but whatever he wanted from me, it was obvious that he didn’t quite get it because I don’t know what he wanted me to know.” No, but he did want her to do something - he wanted her to let herself feel her emotions, really feel them instead of pushing them deep down into her mind.

With Rultan’s last words she considered herself relieved of duty to speak with him, pushing herself from her seat and out of his room, “I’ll get some rest.” She murmured, giving him one last glance before she left for her own chambers. They were similar to Rultan’s in the fact that they lacked decoration, though hers was because she had no personal belongings to speak of.

She locked herself in so that she wouldn’t be disturbed, crawling into the comfort of her bed, wrapping herself up in the thin blanket that she had chosen for herself. She didn’t meditate in the traditional sense as much as she tried to get her thoughts into a steady stream. Sunage had wanted something out of her - perhaps he merely wanted to have another join the ranks of the Sith, or perhaps he wanted a student - but whatever it was she needed to figure out his purpose.

From the beginning she had been warned of them and how they would try to tempt her - they were vile creatures, so she’d been told, with nothing but their own selfish desires in mind. But wasn’t that every creature until they made a conscious choice to give up their idea of self? She had, after all, lived for years thinking of how she would get herself to survive, how she would claw her way to the top of the ranks and destroy anyone in her path to the top….

Was the way of the Sith really so different from her life previous to her discovery from Rultan? That had been her at the most basic of forms, the most true piece of who she was as a person. So why change just because some random man told her it was the path that she needed to take?

Her thoughts were only getting more muddled the more she let her mind wander, somehow always seeming to circle back to one thought that framed her smaller questions - what did Sunage really want from her?
 
A simple nod in agreement was given to Lina that rest was probably the best thing for her. It allowed Rultan to meditate upon the issue and figure out how he would approach this with the Jedi Council. The Sith wasn’t who he thought it was but another who he’d seen before and would have to pull up the dossier on. Still any Stih was troubling and this one was trying to leave doubts within his students mind which could not be allowed. Lina had been right though that her training was far from complete. Though only three years a padawan that was to be expected. Still something had to be done.

He was worried for her. Lina was Rultan’s first student and successfully getting her to be a Jedi Knight would further cement his position as a worthwhile Jedi and eventual candidate for the Council. Yet to do that she needed to be protected from the Sith, this war, from this galaxy until she earned her station as a Knight of the Jedi Order. Yet was his idea the best way of ensuring it. It was the safest and therefore seemed the most appropriate course of action.

Retiring to the holo room he contacted the Jedi Council and informed them of their encounter, Lina’s kidnapping, the Sith, one named Krulin according to the information they had upon the enemy and what the Sith did with her. There were varying ideas of what needed to happen next. One thought the campaign should be diverted to hunting down this Sith, others thought the pair should be moved to another theater of war away from the Sith, others thought it was best to continue as normal and see what transpired, while others agreed with variations of Rultan’s plan. In the end the decision was reached, the next step of the battle was decided and what Lina’s part would be.

Yet he decided to hold off informing her of the decision. She was still clearly shaken up from the events. Being so close to the Sith, Rultan couldn’t blame her. Clearly she was so addled she hadn’t even realized their attempts to tempt her to their side. With a heavy heart the Jedi Master went about his work, preparing for the next engagement with the Sith, sending out scout ships to see if they could discover where Krulin went. The day was not over.

It was the next morning over breakfast when Rultan decided to inform his student. He sat there at the table with his bowl of soup, some bread and a glass of blue milk. He waited for Lina to appear, whom he greeted with a smile. “Please, sit. I have something to inform you.” He began as he gestured to a seat across from him at the table he was seated in the galley. He took a steadying breath as he gazed at her, still holding that smile. “You are correct. You are not ready for this, your training is still years away from being out here, let alone then becoming a Knight. The Council and I spoke and it was decided that the best option for you, to help you learn what you need and to be safe is to return to the Jedi Temple on Corruscant.” Which was in the center of the galaxy, the center of the Republic and no where near where Sunage or the Sith were. “There you will be trained in those early elements of the Force, to sense it, feel through it and utilize it. Once you are better prepared you will return to the front with me. Do not worry, I will visit as often as I can.” Rultan continued to smile as obviously this was the best thing to happen for Lina. She got the training she wanted, she wasn’t in harms way. It was a win-win.

The Jedi Master gazed at his Padawan awaiting her reaction to this wonderful news.
 
There were only so many times she could turn the situation over in her mind before she finally succumbed to sleep, and when she finally did manage to get some rest it was fitful, her dreams every bit as confusing to her as her reality was. By the time it was early morning, her body was rested but her mind still groggy. Dim memories of her dreams still lingered in her mind, bits of adventures that she could have had and fights that she should have won.

The lights were still dimmed in the main areas as she moved quietly throughout the place, taking the peaceful time to bathe herself, redress her wounds, and assess any damages that had been done that didn’t need any wrappings. She was, for the most part, unharmed by the battle they’d encountered, though she had a spot on her shoulder that required wrapping and bruises up and down her ribs were she’d hit a wall.

Lina was reluctant to join Rultan to break the night’s fast but avoiding him would only prolong what was to come. There was no avoiding him in such close quarters and she did still need to speak with him about what he had found out with the false information she’d given him.

She found him already eating when she arrived, the girl selecting a small but rather juicy fruit to eat as well as something in a bowl that she couldn’t readily identify. Her mask was back to being properly in place by the time she sat across from him, working at the bowl of mystery food as he talked.The Jedi Temple. The news - happy for Rultan - was bitter in her mouth and made the questionable food taste like ash. Or maybe it was ash.

Breathing exercises. Deep breath in. Her eyes refused to look at her master but her lips drew into a hard line. They wanted to send her to study with children and take her far from anything that would ever be exciting since Rultan was incapable of teaching her anything on his own. She didn’t fully realize the anger she was feeling until she noticed that the fruit she had picked up was bleeding down her arm from the pressure she was exerting on its tender flesh.

Another shaky breath. “As you see fit, Rultan.” She had dropped the ‘master’ from his name, as she didn’t see it fit to call him that since he couldn’t teach her anything more than how to breathe. ‘To hell with his decision. To hell with this all.’ All of the calming of the night went to waste, her anger so hot and deep that she could feel it down into her bones. Every inch of her felt like tiny creatures were crawling on her, small pinpricks in her skin.

Her appetite was gone, as well as her slowly thinning ability to hide the rage building in her. “I’m going to pack, then.” She muttered, cleaning up her breakfast as quickly as possible, stopping by the table before once again, “I’d like to pack in private, just so you’re aware.” Her voice was every bit as cold as his was emotionless, her mask managing to stay in tact until she had returned to the privacy of her room.

In that room she let it slip, let it boil out from her and let an almost guttural growl come from her chest as she vented it out. It felt unbelievably good to let the emotion loose, her fists aching for something to hit. In the end, she settled for destroying one of the few bits of furniture in her room - a modest desk with enough space for just one person. It didn’t fix the situation, but her anger did give her a release.

And it solidified a thought in her mind - they could send her wherever they wanted. But that didn’t mean she would stay, if she ever arrived at all.
 
The comment about packing in private struck Rultan as odd. “Yes, well we will meet with the shuttle taking you to Corscant in two days so you need not rush.” He offered as she walked away. Yet it was the way she said it, the emphasis, driving home that privacy was key. This was troubling for the Jedi Master. After she left he had to get up and ensure that all was well with her. Moving to her door to speak it was clear that opening the door was not ideal. Not that he knew it was locked but from the anger radiating from within. Her emotions were palpable and it was clear that the Sith had done something to her.

Taking a steadying breath he wondered if he should interrupt or wait. The sounds of furniture breaking made it clear that giving her space now was important. Though perhaps this was a moment to teach her, to confront her. No, obviously approaching her when calm was best. Rultan turn and made it halfway down the hall before turning back around.

Approaching the door with some urgency, Rultan expected it to open but it didn’t. He touched the control pad and still nothing. Had she honestly locked the door? This was bewildering. What had happened to her? Another calming breath was needed before he touched the pad again, this time so he could speak to her through the little intercom.

“Lina, open the door. We need to talk.” The order given was simple, direct, calm and polite. Rultan practically lived the idea that you can attract more with honey than vinegar. He was honestly concerned for her and needed to find out what was going on, what the Sith had done to his padawan.

He struggled not to be overcome with anxiety himself as he awaited an answer. Brow knitting he worked on his calming techniques so he could approach this problem with a level head.
 
Lina could feel herself swinging between two different concepts in which she had to choose between - feel or don’t feel. She could choose to let her emotions go and really feel the rage that was building inside of her, or she could push it down deep where she shoved everything else and let it manifest later on in new and interesting ways. Sunage’s voice was in her head again, murmuring like a demon on her shoulder. Take note of her feelings. He wanted her to feel them instead of just pushing them away.

It tipped her over the edge, her brimming pot boiling over as the sanctity of her refuge was interrupted by Rultan’s voice outside the door. “Talk?” She practically bellowed the word through the door, feeling almost like a petulant child instead of a young woman, though she knew that if she opened the door that her frustrations would vent so violently that she would surely attack the man that had saved her life.

She was seeing red, lashing out instead for something more solid, her fist finding the door until her knuckles sang with pain and the heat of her fury was dimmed down to a point of where she could find words, whether her master wanted to hear them or not. Lina was still panting when she finally let the door slide open, her eyes finding the man that had pushed her until she had broken.

“You will die the same way you have lived, Rultan. You will die still calmly saying that you want to talk.” The words were said frighteningly calm for someone whose knuckles were dripped blood onto the floor, her fingers twitching gently as she glared at him. “But death, I think, would be no more different for you than life. You’re already dead on your insides. I can feel it rotting you. What is a man with no emotions but a shell?”

She wiped the blood from her knuckles on her robes, dabbing at her throbbing hand until it became a dull ache that was manageable. “Sunage was right about you. All you want to do is fill my head with lies and half truths.” The name slipped from her tongue before she could pull it back, but there was no retrieving a name that had already been spoken.

Lina removed her robe from her wound, assessing it slowly before looking back to her master, “I think it would be best you either say something worth hearing… Or give me the space to meditate alone.”
 
With the banging and the yelling Rultan wasn’t sure what to make of what was going on in Lina’s room. It was already out of place for her door to be locked. Was she dealing with the stress of having come so close to the enemy, of their interrogation and attempt to convert her. While of course she said such did not happen the Sith are an insidious lot. There was no doubt that something had occurred and now it seemed she was taking it out on her room. It was a sad situation and one he hoped time away from the front would heal.

As the door opened so did shock show upon the Jedi’s face. It was horrific what she had done to herself and the yelling was so unneeded, combined with the threats it was all just too much. Had the Sith gotten to her this much? Him dead inside? That was not what he had taught her. There was a great reverence for life within him, a desire to nurture and see things grow, like herself. He had taught her to appreciate what was around them, what the galaxy showed them. A person dead inside does not know how to contemplate their existence or appreciate the wonder of the myriad worlds they had traveled.

Yet then there was that telltale sign. She was concerned with emotions, as yet unnamed ones but now the corrupting influence of the Sith began to show and Rultan held himself back from shaking his head in disappointment.

Rultan was willing to wait, for her to finish lashing out at him. Sometimes a person needs a cathartic release but her release included something he had hoped he’d never have to hear. That name. The calm but concerned with a touch of confusion facade his face had carried disappeared as that name was spoken. There was a slow blink as his face turned to stone and then the tension grew outwards from the center, like a tide of ants pouring out of their colony when a pissy child floods their home. This was the third time in as many years she had witnessed anger upon his face and the second had only been earlier that day when they had face Sunage in combat.

“What did you say?” His voice snapped for the first time ever at Lina. Those dark eyes narrowing, focusing all of his attention upon her. Scrutinizing her. His hand lashed out to point behind him off down the hall. “You drew a picture of some other Sith, not him. You lied? You were with him and then lied about it. What else have you lied about as clearly the Sith were far more influential than you claimed. You say I speak in half truths, that is all the Sith do. They know no other way, they live in lies and use them to lure others, you to their doom.” His voice struggles to not yell and bark his bitterness.

This time when he issued a command it was as if he were in battle again. Working to save the lives of many. “You will tell me what this Sith did to you? What lies and half truths it was that he twisted into your soul and then…” The tendons in his neck strained as his right hand clenched up for a moment. “...you will go back to Coruscant and be questioned by the Council and retrained. It seems they have corrupted you so quickly.”
 
As wise as her master thought himself to be, he wasn’t wise enough to run away from his own pupil when she was at her most volatile. She had the chance to beat the life out of him but she restrained, simply because no matter how her anger boiled out to the surface she still couldn’t bring herself to attack him. He was not going to push her over the edge into the abyss where she couldn’t come back.

No, but he was close.

There was no preparation for his reaction to the name Sunage, and though she didn’t intend on him knowing the truth, it was a relief to her that he did know now. She could feel a ball in her stomach as she fought with conflicting emotions. There was a piece of her that wanted to come clean about it all and give Rultan a chance to redeem himself in her eyes and everything to return to normal. Then she wouldn’t have to deal with the troublesome thoughts that were in her head and wouldn’t have to return back for training. But that part was silenced almost immediately because he was still insisting on teaching her the same thing he always had - Sith bad, Order good.

Once again he was telling her just the basics, accusing them in a way that was almost childish. He made the world seem like it was black and white when there were really so many shades of grey in between that she somehow found herself sitting in. What way did she really align? She was so prone to giving into her emotions and found herself following them despite the training she had been given. Sunage hadn’t done much to her, but he had brought so many things to light that made her feel… Something. She didn’t know what it was yet, but it was budding and spreading in her (or was festering a more apt description?)

“What did the Sith do to me?” Lina couldn’t help but echo his question back to him, because those were the words that were making her focus harder on the throbbing in her hand and the pain that she was feeling. The scene of brief intimacy played through her head again, bringing her frustration to a boil once again. The problem was that he hadn’t truly done anything to her, he hadn’t done anything of substance but had left her with so many more questions and with so much confusion as to where she stood.

Lina wanted nothing more than to break the Zabrak’s hand for daring to touch her, but in the same vein she felt like she had enjoyed his touch. It had been foreign, but it had been the spark that set her smoldering fire aflame. She wanted to know why he’d touched her, because it bothered her too much. It was such a small moment but so much a mystery that she couldn’t shake it no matter how much she tried.

And yet here her master was, adding to the anger. What had he done to her? Had he made her feel something that she didn’t want to? Or had he truly done nothing at all? “The Sith did nothing.” Her tone was dripping with acid, her hands gripping into fists, one finding the hilt of her lightsaber, “Just as you have done nothing of what I was promised.” The acid turned into a growl as her anger finally came to its apex.

She was tipped over the edge, finally doing what she never would have imagined she would have done in her life. Lina drew her weapon on her master, her eyes hard and cold as ice, “What have you done? You have wasted air and trained me for nothing. You let me get captured by the Sith that you warned me so much against. You didn’t even teach me the basics so that I could get away in case I was captured. WHAT DID YOU DO?” She charged, her fury making her weak and strong at the same time. She was volatile, but for the first time in a very long time, she felt so very alive.
 
The human Jedi watched as his students resentment grew while he was frustrated with all the lying, that she had hidden the true identity. That it was him who had gotten to Lani. There was nearly no other set of events he worried about more or despised the possibility of.

Sunage was a distant memory, one Rultan had hoped had passed away into the depths of time, yet here he was being wielded as a weapon before him by his own student after no more than a couple hours with him. How was this possible?

How had it come to this? For three years they had been together. He had worked hard to train her in the lightsaber so she would be able to hold her own out in the war that the Galaxy was gripped by between the Light and the Dark. Sure, he could have left her at the Temple but this was a promise of adventure, of daring-do and now it seemed treachery. Rultan knew he was not the most personable person, that his personality was about as bland as the color eggshell or the flavor of tap water but he had given her the galaxy to explore, a grand war to be a part of. At the first sign of trouble to her and what, some promise from the other side and she was ready to jump ship.

As he heard the buzz of her lightsaber ignite, the electric glow against her features, that she was turning this weapon, one he had spent hours, years training her on against another Jedi, against him. It was unthinkable. Yet here she stood accusing him, declaring he had done nothing while she wielded the very tool he had taught her.

At first he kept his own lightsaber in its place upon his belt simply jumping back and twisting to avoid the deadly weapon. “I taught you how to defend yourself, I have fought beside you always, as I did against that Sith. I did not just give you up.”

Lina’s blade comes dangerously close which then causes instinct and training to cut in as Rultan’s own lightsaber came to life to help deflect her attack. “I searched for you as soon as I came too and gave chase. Even if they had not dropped you in a lifeboat I would have followed, fought, searched until you were safe.”

The laser swords clashed together time and again. Rultan was not her only teacher or sparring partner but was her primary, so he knew her patterns, her tells. He also had almost a decade of experience on his side. Yet each time their lightsabers smashed into one another, sparks flaring, illuminating the room and the combatants he thought about how the Sith had already infested his students mind, clouded her thoughts, corrupted her.

“I promised you to see the galaxy and be part of something that mattered. I have not betrayed that adventure which you desired. I have taught you at a pace that is quick for our Order and focused on the skills needed to keep you alive from all the blaster fire and reasonably faced enemies. This one time we were bested.” Rultan still spoke with more calm than one should possess given the conflict with his student both ideologically and physically. “Now you tell me, have you thrown in your lot with them? Turned away from the Light?” He did not wish to strike her down, she was his student, his padawan. She had been his primary social outlet for three years, a companion through all this war and now it was she that he crossed sabers with.
 
Rultan had been so many things for her in their time together, a friend and a confidant, a person that she had depended on when times had gotten rough between them. He had saved her from the rough life she’d lived before and had believed in her when even she hadn’t believed in herself. It felt so wrong to be bearing her arms against him but there was a part to her that enjoyed the poetry in their dances of weapons. He had taught her to use this weapon, and she had excelled with it.


Their movements almost evoked the emotions from her that would have ended the fight, her face straining as she fought within herself still over just how wrong it felt to turn against her own teacher. But no, he had earned her respect only for so long. He’d withheld information that would have been vital to her survival on her own. He’d made her dependent on him in so many ways and that was an unforgivable crime that she couldn’t just leave when he was asleep.


“You are wrong, Rultan,” She growled the words as they fought, because though he was usually right he had one thing severely wrong - he never taught her to fight. That had been in her blood, beaten into her brain, become her only way of survival until fighting was all she had ever known, “You merely handed me a new weapon.”


But he had gotten plenty of time in which to learn her style, to read her body and learn how she fought above all else. He spoke too much for someone that was in the middle of a fight, had too many words so that it made her feel like words were all he had. It only fueled her anger, made her push harder and strike faster than she had been. His last question made her take mental pause - had she decided to turn away from the Light side of the Force and turn towards the Dark?


The decision had been made for her already before she even knew the answer herself, because there was something that she could never deny - she wasn’t going to suppress her emotions. That part of her life was over. She was done hiding behind the veiled neutrality that Rultan lived his life in. It was a like living in a constant haze of restraint and self-hatred. She grit her teeth as the answer came from her, hissed through thinned lips, “Yes. I am joining them.”
 
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