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What Scares You?

I thought of something; being perceived as lonely.

I like being alone, and I also like being around people. I try to maintain a healthy mix but I'm a little paranoid/scared that people might perceive me as a lonely person.
 
Falling from high up, being caught in a burning building, drowning, being kidnapped or imprisoned... all that normal stuff. But also dark, murky water, where you have no idea what might be in there with you *shivers*
 
Oh, man.

There's a lot of things that scare me.

  • spiders
  • the dark
  • most insects (I'm not scared of the cute ones, like roly polies, love bugs, and lightning bugs)
  • electricity (as in being electrified or the possibility of being electrified)
  • sticking my feet in natural water (ponds, lakes, river, ocean, etc). This fear is specific to dangling just my feet into these types of water and is due to my father JOKINGLY telling me that turtles would bite off my toes. I still can't get that out of my head enough for me to be "brave" and put my toes in the water.
  • lotus boob. NSFW image. I can't look at this picture for longer than a few seconds or I get the urge to physically harm myself. It makes the hair rise on my neck and makes me feel like I have to puke with just a glance.
  • falling, even from a short distance.


Aaaaand, now I feel like a big wussy.
 
Mine is kinda simple. I honestly do not fear a lot of the common things. I don't fear some animal. I don't even really fear death. I fear dying alone. It sounds pretty lame but I guess I'm just lame. As it is, I have very few people who are close to me. I've got my grandparents but they won't be around forever (And Lord forbid I die before them, that's not something would find very pleasing to carry with me to the afterlife). I have only a few friends that I'd call 'close' and I have no one special in my life. I suppose the worst thing I can imagine is having to make the trip to the afterlife without the comfort of having loved ones close by to wish me luck in my final moments.

Dying is one thing. It's inevitable. It's what comes after death that's got me worried.
 
HeyThereLittleBear said:
Oh, man.

There's a lot of things that scare me.

  • spiders
  • the dark
  • most insects (I'm not scared of the cute ones, like roly polies, love bugs, and lightning bugs)
  • electricity (as in being electrified or the possibility of being electrified)
  • sticking my feet in natural water (ponds, lakes, river, ocean, etc). This fear is specific to dangling just my feet into these types of water and is due to my father JOKINGLY telling me that turtles would bite off my toes. I still can't get that out of my head enough for me to be "brave" and put my toes in the water.
  • lotus boob. NSFW image. I can't look at this picture for longer than a few seconds or I get the urge to physically harm myself. It makes the hair rise on my neck and makes me feel like I have to puke with just a glance.
  • falling, even from a short distance.


Aaaaand, now I feel like a big wussy.
Click to expand...
Oh god. Lotus boob, wtf.
Well, that applies to the whole 'multiple holes or spots where they don't belong' thing. Any doctored photo can produce that same fear for me, at least.

While I like to say I am arachnophobic, it isn't like I've experienced an instance of seeing even a remotely big spider in person. And reading about them calms me down.

I am afraid of the idea that I would be considered less than average intelligence. I know this sounds a lot like anxiety, or any other more appropriate word. But, hear me out. When I take a roleplay seriously, if I get the notion that my partner is a bit of a stickler, I reread the whole post 4-5 times before sending. It isn't compulsion, or an ocd. And I know what an anxiety is. This is exactly the same feeling I get when someone invites me into their room, says they have a big fucking pet spider, and the cage is empty.
 
In real life I have been tortured by body and by mind so much that I really do not care what really happens to me in real life. In real life I have been suicidal and I understand some time in my life I will take my own life. And since I am an agnostic, I have little fear of an after life. Too be blunt, Hell or Heaven in my judgment is a punishment. If there is a real heaven and I was allowed to be their -- my internal punishment of a afterlife in Heaven is a punishment. I do hope they allow suicide in Heaven as a way out of.

To be fair, I really do not care for human life as I find it really boring. When you lose your fear of death and really find the Grim Reaper is really your friend. Having fear of something that really will not kill me is a void. Now, something that can bother me I have concern but not fear.
 
Needles, surgery, that sort of shit terrifies me. Anything cutting and entering my body is a no go. Injuries I'm just fine with, like a puncture or penetration wound, but the second something comes at me with a hypo, I'm sweating bullets. Snake bites or spider bites are dandy (maybe not the best choice of words, but I wouldn't be afraid/lose my shit) but I'll never willingly get a flu shot or get blood drawn.

And the storm surge of Hurricane Matthew, which may or may not sweep away my house and worldly belongings.
 
1) Hospitals/Operations/Doctors.

Reason: Spent most of my child hood in a hospital because of severe/chronic illnesses and basically being transformed into a lab rat as many of the problems I exhibited were things practically unheard for someone such as myself as there was no family history for it even dating back four generations...and some of these problems were something normally associated with different ethnicities verses what I am. For a kid this kind of thing is terrifying to go through and not understand why. I would ask constantly to have it explained to me so I could understand, I WANTED to understand. I wanted to know what was going on with my body and why. There is a reason why playing characters who's origins as science experiments have a rather violent streak as this is something relevant to myself. As I have aged I have had MORE problems CAUSED by Doctors and the non exact science of medicine than actually helped. Therefore unless I am left with NO OTHER RECOURSE I will go to a doctor. But only as a LAST RESORT.


2) PARASITES

Reason: FUCK THAT SHIT. The mere idea of creatures living inside my body is just....VIOLATING. While I do realize some parasites can be fairly harmless, most of these fuckers cause serious damage and even death should they be left untreated for too long. Just....NO. DO NOT WANT. FAIL. MY BODY IS NOT A HOTEL FOR OTHER CREATURES. FUCK OFF. NATURE OR NOT FUCK OFF.


3) Suffocation.

Reason: Looping back to my child hood of being constantly ill, I experienced more times than I want to remember an allergic reaction of anaphylactic shock, resulting in my throat closing up and being unable to breath. Gasping for breath and feeling yourself slipping away as your adrenaline surges and your heart is pounding in your ears your head feeling as if its ina vice and about to split open any given second....it's scary, especially for a kid and will leave a lasting mark for sure. The fact I almost died because of this...and know the suffering up until the point of near black out...no thanks. I've also experienced strangulation as someone attempted to do this to me in a fight. However I was more enraged than fearful in this particular instance.


4) Drowning

Reason: Much like with suffocation this was the result of being in a fight. After you've experienced this first hand it's just....NO. All around NO. Someone tries to drown you...it's going to leave a mark.


5) The Means by Which I Actually Die

Reason: DEATH itself does not scare me. The path to which I will take to get there does. After already dancing with death plenty of times through-out my life I really do not like any of the methods thus far of how I could die. I don't want to suffer or be degraded for that manner. If I could have a choice...I'd like for it to be fast and over as quickly as possible. I don't want to see or be aware of myself fading from existence, still fighting to hold on but know its all pointless yet instinct compels me to do it regardless. I'd rather be sitting there one moment then dead the next. No pain or a quick flash of pain then its over.
 
I have acrophobia, fear of heights. I dislike being carried. I dislike the feeling of my feet not touching the ground. I dislike looking out of windows from buildings, if it means looking down (looking up at the beautiful skyline is alright).

Then, I also have that fear of the dark, which I outgrew. Back then, I see... things. Or maybe I imagined them. Now, the fear of the dark is only because I can't see my way through and bump into things. If I can see in the dark (i.e. not so dark), it does not scare me anymore. In fact, I now prefer to sleep in total darkness rather than having a night light which I used to.
 
Everybody keeps bringing up new things to fear! XD

That lotus crap gives me nightmares now, Heylittlebear! >,<

I find I get scared by the little things, rather than being able to comprehend or really understand the concept of death. Like, even if I got cancer, I think it'd be hard for me to "get it" because it's just so large and incomprehensible thinking of never being here ever again. Like what? Nah, the sun comes up every day, type of thing.
 
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