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Burning Bridges (A lousy pun title for my journal)

I feel so light, this is all I wanna feel tonight, I feel so light, tonight and the rest of my life...

I feel a little bit stronger and clearer than usual. Kinda like I got something off of my shoulders while talking to one my best friends tonight. Like the song lyric up above, I feel really light and less tense. Which is always nice. I needed that nice floaty feeling for once. I missed it.

My friends are the best thing I have going for me. I know that the 5 people I trust the most in this world will be there for me through think and thin, and I will do the same for them. I love them. Home is where they all are. So I hope to go home soon. Here's to hoping.
 
Ah, someone's mad at me. Nothing new there.

And I don't even feel remotely bad about it. She frequently asks me to cover for her on the condition she'll do something for me, but the promise never gets kept. So I told her no this time, she got pissed off and hung up on me. Like that's apparently supposed to hurt my feelings. Well, guess I can mark that up on the list of people who're angry at me for one reason or another.
 
TheyDontKnowIBurn said:
*snip* ...Well, guess I can mark that up on the list of people who're angry at me for one reason or another.
Click to expand...

I bet my "Angry/Whiny Peoples" list is longer than yours. Because I win at pissing people off. I'll show you mine if you show me yours - that's what she said. :cool: I like to turn my list upside down and it becomes the "People I Poke with a Stick" list, but that's just me.

But anyways, good riddance, yeah?
 
Good grief, I feel unrationally angry today. I've wanted nothing more than to bitchslap the next person I came across, all day... Every little thing is getting to me and it's pissing me the fuck off. Even my anger is pissing me off. Grrrrrrr. Fuck the world. I'm just gonna grumble and kill small, cute, fuzzy creatures in videogames.
 
I am so fucking tired of people as a united group. I am losing people left and right. It's old. I can't talk to this person because I can't keep myself together around him. I can't talk to that person because they can't just be my friend. I might as fucking well burn all my bridges so that it doesn't hurt so much when no one's there for me. Psssh, fuck this. I'm turning off my give-a-damner. Only person I give a fuck about is myself.
 
I think I may have broken my brain trying to figure out all this stuff for trying to get into college. But I want it bad so it's okay. Time for this little birdy to take a flying leap out of the nest. Haha. Northwest College of Art, here I come! Come hell, high water, or the plague, I'm getting in. I just gotta figure out the details. Like how. And FAFSA... Which confuses me.
 
It's been a wee bit over a month since I posted here. But I do so on a positive note now.

The last month has been... Good. It's a trite word, and I know it, but that's the easiest way to describe it. I'm been a little bummed out here and there, but it hasn't been even a fraction as bad as it was before. I'm not lulling myself into false comfort, but this month has been a good one. I haven't cried in a few weeks. I haven't contemplated suicide in over a month. Things have been looking up. Landed a job. Now I'm just waiting for them to get my background check done. Got my state ID. I can finally prove I'm my age! Woot! Things are finally starting to come together.

As I said, I'm not letting myself believe that the depression is gone, but I am letting myself believe that I've been given a reprieve. And I'll use it to my advantage. The feeling may not stick around forever, but I'll sure as hell enjoy it while I can.

The ONLY things bothering me as of late are my terminal boredom (that's a constant) and the insomnia I can't quite seem to get in check. But I'm hoping if I really haul ass, they'll put me on full-time, and then I'll have health coverage, which will mean I can hopefully see someone to fix that problem.

Things are finally looking up, and on that note I bid you all a good night! ^_^
 
Dear Diary,

It's pretty much fucking freezing! And that's just inside the house. lol. I hate winter. Bleh. Bring on the warm, and fast. I am definitely a summer sort of girl. A nice cup of hot tea would be killer right now. But I am sooo not willing to get out from under the blankets. I guess that's about it.
 
So, it's 4:30 in the morning. Normal people sleep at this time of the morning. But I can't. Why? Because I huuuuuuuurt. My knee is swollen and made of ouch, and my foot hurts because I slipped up and sliced it open on a bedframe. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. And I have work on Saturday. DO NOT WANT! Oh wait... Yeah I do. Because work=paycheck=money=happy Burny. Now if only there were a legal way around that first part without being injured or ill or whatever. Oh well. C'est la vie. Also, I finally got a checking/savings account opened, so I can do commissions. Yaaaaay!
 
Fucking hell... Today would have been nice. Work was easy enough. I was feeling decent. But then my bitch sister's best friend comes up through the line at checkout. Fine. Whatever... I was civil and made small talk like we're supposed to. Then I realize that she's wearing a necklace of mine, which I did NOT loan her. That pisses me off. But I just ignore it and check things out. Inside, I'm fucking livid, though. Two reasons why.

1. This is the second time she's had that necklace, so she fucking KNOWS it's not my sister's and that she can't borrow it from my sister because it's mine.

2. This girl is not permitted in our house, and hasn't been for a while. The necklace went missing AFTER she was barred from being here. So that means she's been in the house without permission. Fucking bitch.

So I go and talk to dad about the fact that this girl has my necklace, and I'm pretty much 100% sure my sister let her borrow it. He does absofuckinglutely nothing. Doesn't punish my sister for having that girl in the house when she's not allowed here. Doesn't punish my sister for lending out MY belongings. Doesn't punish my sister for stealing MY belongings in the first place.

And the further the assholery, he says I'm not getting it back, because he doesn't want us associating with her, and that he'll replace it. Just one problem. It's a beaded necklace a friend custom-made for me for graduation. It can't be replaced. So basically I'm not getting a necklace back, that was gifted to me by a friend I no longer get to see, and all parties involved are getting off completely without recourse. Fuck. I'm so sick of this shit...
 
Now, I'm gonna rant a wee bit.

Let me start by saying, I'm not racist. I have white, black, mexican, asian, and all other sorts of friends. I don't give a fuck where a person comes from, it's who they are that matters.

That being said, I do however, have a problem with people whom come to this country knowing that while English is not the official language of the country, it is the most predominant language here, and yet the still refuse to learn it.

I work at walmart. I am damn good at customer service. I smile, I help out however I can. I ask how you are. I'm good at what I do. But nothing pisses me off more than when I am nothing but polite, try my hardest to communicate with someone speaking a different language so that I might provide the best service for the, and yet the refuse to cooperate with me. And I lied. There's something that pisses me off more than that. What pisses me off more is that, even when they refuse to cooperate, I still try my best to provide proper service, but they have the audacity to insult the fuck out of me in the other language. I may not be able to speak it, but I can understand quite a bit... I am fully aware when you call me a stupid asshole because I don't speak your language, you tools. I am trying my best to give you equal service to everyone else, despite an inability to communicate well, and you have the cajones to insult me?

Fuck you. I was born here. I was raised speaking the English language, like millions of other American children. I'm not stupid because I don't speak the language of your home land. If I were going to visit there, I'd damn well make sure to learn the language that is predominantly spoken there, so that I didn't come off as an arrogant douchebag, expecting them to speak my preferred language. But I'm not there. I'm here. In a wal-mart. In America. Where a good majority of the people speaking English, even if just a little.

So kindly learn English, cooperate when someone's trying to help you, or shut the fuck up. People who do that shit make others of the same ethnicity look bad.

And just to reiterate, no I don't hate people of other races. I hate arrogant douchebags who think they are entitled to special treatment, and then insult me when I can't give them said treatment, even after I've tried.

That is all.
 
That's not at all about racism, it's about idiocyism. A dislike for idiots, of all kinds no matter the skin color. I know very well what you're talking about because I too work at Wal-Mart. No matter what you do for the people who pull that crap you'll get the same response. Hell you could probably lick their boots and bow to them and they'd still curse you simply for the fact that they think they deserve to get away with anything because they're not from here. Luckily I have a few friends there who do speak a few other languages so I can always signal them for backup when someone's getting too irate with me. I hate how all other races get to pull the race card but when we try to for equality we're discriminating and being racist. It's utter poppycock and I entirely refuse to deal with it. You want us all to be equal? Then act like it. Sorry..didn't mean to go off on my own little rant. Just kinda know where you're coming from. <3
 
Haha, good to know I'm not alone in that one.

Know whatelse I've noticed? People buy wierd combos of things.

Like this one lady I saw. She bought a bunch of greasy, fatty, sugary, high calorie junkfood... And then she in the very same basket she has a box of diet coke and a box of slimfast. I'm like... "What...?"
 
They think it evens it out, when really if they were to just jog there buy some celery and jog home they could lose the weight.

People who let themselves go on purpose without caring about their health annoy me.
They say our idea of what someone should look like is wrong, when really they're just hiding behind that so they can justify their laziness. If someone genuinely has a problem that exercise and healthy eating won't fix then fine I feel sad for them. However, those who play the "Skinny isn't healthy" Card are just mad because they don't want to take the time out of their day to maintain their health. Yet they gripe at me or insult me because I like to exercise. The world is full of idiots and quite frankly, i'm sick of them.
 
Well, I can't say much on that front, as I'm not skinny. And I don't like the way alot of the skinny stars look. At all. But I am pleased with how I look. I like bigger woman anyway, because I dig the curves and rounds. lol
 
I'm not saying people aren't lazy, and complaining about it, but there's something wrong with a culture that looks at this woman...

Christina-Hendricks-Cup-Size-At-Emmys-2010-are-Real.jpg


... and says "OMG, she's fat!" Because there are plenty of people out there who DO say that.

And this might be the wrong forum for that discussion. :p
 
I third that.

I must have worded something wrong. I'm referring strictly to the people placing the blame on society instead of taking it themselves. There's nothing wrong with any weight range, it's the people who gripe at skinny people for being skinny or less skinny people for being less skinny that annoy me. They blame their problems on each other instead. It sickens me.

I most certainly would love her long time. Jeebus. Sorry for clogging up your journal btw. I can delete my posts if you want.
 
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