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Virgin Sex Writers: Fact or Myth?

shadowdreamer said:
kikora said:
Being a good writer means making someone believe what you are writing... But it does not always mean that you have to have done it yourself. It's like any other piece of art, you just have to understand the feeling, the anatomy, and be able to express it well. Like how an actor doesn't actually have to kill someone to play the role of a murderer well. Telling someone they have to have sex to understand how to describe it is just as silly. XD
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Silly, yes...but it happens and not just in the RP communities.

There are quite a few erotica writers and erotic romance writers who receive emails and/or IM's asking if they sleep around. Or if they've done everything in their books My standard answer is - I've never met a vampire, werewolf, feline shifter, traveled back in time, been on a space ship, or been a man. (I also write from the male pov in more than a few novels and novellas)

Write a non consent story, and sooner or later you'll be asked 'So, you're anti women and promote rape'.

The idea that an actor who plays a murderer, or a writer who writes a horror story, or story from the pov of a murderer, hasn't committed murder in order to get the details right doesn't appear to click with many of those who leap to the assumptions that revolve around those who write stories of a sexual nature. After all...that's different, right?
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My best guess would be that people simply don't view anything sexual like they would a "Legitimate" form of art. The taboo of sex in our writing turns even well written stories with good plots into nothing more than smut to a lot of people. Smut is meant to arouse and fulfill a fantasy of sorts, so anyone who writes about rape must want to rape or be raped.

Really it's still ridiculous. Sure there are topics I don't like to write about, or don't feel like I'd capture strongly so I avoid... But in whole writing is meant to be fun and a challenge in and of itself. Just because it involves sex shouldn't take away from the detail and thought that's put into the story itself.
 
I would say that, like in the most things in live, it is the mix that makes things work well.
In order to clarify this with the example of driving:
Without practice( having done it before) you won't get far in actual driving and you won't know a lot of situations that can't be described in theory.
However without theory( knowledge about what to do) you will either never get the license or end up with your friend the police for not knowing the rules ( compared to your angry partner when you tried something stupid in bed).

Mature role play depends as well on the writing skills, and well, that are skills that can not learned while having sex. At least not in what I can tell.^^

To go back to the beginning, everything mixed together maybe be the best basic for mature roleplaying in my opinion: Sex experience + knowledge ( sexual + writing skills)

And the language that is used in the role play should be spoken well enough.
*goes back into his corner knowing about his simple english skills*
 
Really anyone who thinks you can't write about something you haven't experienced is just flying in the face of facts. It's what fiction writers do all the time.
 
I think that people who write things inaccurate to reality need to either do more research on what they're writing about, or take more time with their writing.

Not having done it yourself doesn't mean you don't know how to portray it, just as B said. I mean, there are, of course, certain cases where the topic being written about is incredibly outlandish. But those stories need to be taken with a grain of salt.

If you're just writing about sex, I find that the biggest mistakes a lot of 'virgin' writers make is just not comprehending physics. Like not knowing if a woman is bent over her breasts are free to sway. It's simple things like that that usually leads me to believe some writers I've been reading don't actually have personal experience. But that could also just be from people who don't know physics.
 
                                          • All I have to say is...it ain't for everyone. Not everyone can take what they've seen, and turn it into literature as if they've experienced.

                                            I was writing erotica when I was a virgin. I watched a lot of sexy movies, read books of that nature, and looked at sexy pictures. It was pretty believable to my friends when they read what I wrote...and even to my mom one time when she found a page I accidentally left around. Boi...did I get a hefty ass whipping after a nice interrogation....questions surrounding my 'purity'.

                                            And after I had sex....nothing really changed about my writing really. Yea, I now knew what a penis felt like in my vagina but....honestly it was just like writing the way it was before I knew... I write a lot of bondage scenes, torture scenes....I've never experienced those things but, I have read, watched....I incorporate their feelings as if they were mine, and put them into my characters.

                                            Shit I don't know what it's like to be shot at, hit by a car, or drugged...but from doing research, and using enough visual material, not to mention common sense, I can manage in making it seem as if I've experienced such.

                                            Like I said before, not everyone is good at using the research method, and actually need to experience first hand sex... I'm lucky to have had a vivid imagination.

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Hmm, I found this quite interesting.

I don't think that being a virgin affects your writing. Obviously, it may if you're truly awful at writing and have absolutely no knowledge in sex at all - then yes, that may definitely affect your writing.

But for the average Joe with sexual education and who has good roleplaying experience can roleplay a good sex scene and erotic roleplay without having actually experienced what he or she is roleplaying.

For example, not everyone has done anal, or gruesome bondage, or taboo for that matter (etc.). The fact that sexual/ erotic roleplay is surreal and made up is what makes it thrilling. I mean, let's face it, we exaggerate in roleplay and manipulate situations to our liking (or at least, I do anyways >>) - because we(I) can! That's the beauty of roleplaying. :) You make your own world, with your own rules. It's beautiful <3
;D
 
Dameon said:
If you're just writing about sex, I find that the biggest mistakes a lot of 'virgin' writers make is just not comprehending physics. Like not knowing if a woman is bent over her breasts are free to sway. It's simple things like that that usually leads me to believe some writers I've been reading don't actually have personal experience. But that could also just be from people who don't know physics.
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That's just silly. :S Are you saying that in order to write a scene you have to have actually had sex in that position? That's not physics, that's basic anatomy. I really fail to see why anyone with basic understanding of the human body wouldn't know that breasts sway in that position. :S
 
kikora said:
Dameon said:
If you're just writing about sex, I find that the biggest mistakes a lot of 'virgin' writers make is just not comprehending physics. Like not knowing if a woman is bent over her breasts are free to sway. It's simple things like that that usually leads me to believe some writers I've been reading don't actually have personal experience. But that could also just be from people who don't know physics.
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That's just silly. :S Are you saying that in order to write a scene you have to have actually had sex in that position? That's not physics, that's basic anatomy. I really fail to see why anyone with basic understanding of the human body wouldn't know that breasts sway in that position. :S
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Haha! I agree.
 
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