Patreon LogoYour support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)

When RPers harass you for a reply

LadySerpentine said:
I tend to message people after a bit of not seeing them around to make sure they're okay--I don't mind long delays, so it's not a poke as such, more a 'I haven't seen you around lately, you got anything going on that's causing issues for you?'. Which serves the dual purpose of, if they forgot, being a pleasant reminder with no blame attached, and if they do have something going on, giving them an outlet to vent, potentially.

On the other hand, I tend to get to know my RP partners before starting things; I like getting a sense of the person, and I'd send that same message if we hadn't been talking even if there wasn't an RP going on between us actively.

For those of you who have said that even a single message is enough to turn you off of things, is that something you'd count as one? Or is the intent sufficiently distinct to make it less annoying to you, generally speaking?
Click to expand...

It's one thing to be like "Hello reply now please" and another to be "Hello how are you?" for me. The first is ugh. The second let's me come in and be like "Hello! I am fine! How are you?" and then I'll likely apologize for the delay on my own terms rather than feeling pressured, possibly explain why there's a delay, and that bit of conversation actually might make me more likely to reply - I'm on here and talking, which means I'm eventually going to open up an empty notepad file and at least try to write something.
 
Indeed, I have been harassed before on other sites. It's not fun. I always say that people should leave a week or even two weeks before reminding people. Even then, it shouldn't be the main topic of the PM. Asking how people are and what they're doing goes a long way, phrasing it as 'I haven't heard from you in a few days, are you okay? Oh, you haven't replied to our RP in a while too, is everything okay? I suppose you've just been busy, not a problem, get to it when you can' kind of thing can work quite well. No reason you can't make friends with your RP partners either.

But yeah I do have two horror stories where a guy really wanted to roleplay with me, though all the plotlines he came up with weren't interesting, and he wasn't a very good roleplayer so I didn't want to roleplay with him. I didn't like him all that much, but he liked me a lot which got awkward. So yeah, he basically tried manipulating me to roleplay with him with emphasising depression because I wouldn't and all that crap. I agreed, and he perked right up. Which was what I was expecting. Suffice to say we don't talk any more.

The second was a guy who was so obsessed with the RP we were in he kept reminding me about it every 6 hours or so, basically saying 'can you please post in our rp please? It's been ages'. And there I am, buried in work. Very inconsiderate.

Still, what can you do? People will be people. Like I said, a week - 2 weeks is my timeframe for reminders. If it's a month and nobody has done anything then it's pretty much dead.
 
CatachanDevil said:
Indeed, I have been harassed before on other sites. It's not fun. I always say that people should leave a week or even two weeks before reminding people. Even then, it shouldn't be the main topic of the PM. Asking how people are and what they're doing goes a long way, phrasing it as 'I haven't heard from you in a few days, are you okay? Oh, you haven't replied to our RP in a while too, is everything okay? I suppose you've just been busy, not a problem, get to it when you can' kind of thing can work quite well. No reason you can't make friends with your RP partners either.

But yeah I do have two horror stories where a guy really wanted to roleplay with me, though all the plotlines he came up with weren't interesting, and he wasn't a very good roleplayer so I didn't want to roleplay with him. I didn't like him all that much, but he liked me a lot which got awkward. So yeah, he basically tried manipulating me to roleplay with him with emphasising depression because I wouldn't and all that crap. I agreed, and he perked right up. Which was what I was expecting. Suffice to say we don't talk any more.

The second was a guy who was so obsessed with the RP we were in he kept reminding me about it every 6 hours or so, basically saying 'can you please post in our rp please? It's been ages'. And there I am, buried in work. Very inconsiderate.

Still, what can you do? People will be people. Like I said, a week - 2 weeks is my timeframe for reminders. If it's a month and nobody has done anything then it's pretty much dead.
Click to expand...

I once had a guy who was checking up on if I was "online" and so long as I appeared "online" he would message me almost every hour when I didn't reply.

I ended up having to block him.
If people expect constant responses back and forth - they should seek out mediums like Yahoo/aim/instant messengers.
Like this is a FORUM. Get out.

I feel you.
 
As a norm, I don’t send rp reminders. That’s not to say I haven’t. For me, if they don’t respond, then the rp is done. I have to be the last responder in a rp though. The only exception to that is if the rp is finished. I won’t force a reply just so I can be the last reply. I don’t want anyone to look at my history and think, ‘Wow. She just leave people hanging. She won’t reply.’ That’s not the case. It may take a while, but you will get a reply. Now if I haven’t heard anything from my partner, and I see they have started a new rp with someone else, then yeah. I know the rp is dead. That is actually the case recently. No hard feelings. None whatsoever. I just move on. If you don’t want to rp with me, I won’t force it. Have a nice life. Admittedly so I have more rps than I know what to do with. Lol. So if you don’t want to play with me, that’s fine. I’m a big girl. I can handle it. I won’t cry, but if you’re rping with me, and you don’t reply, don’t expect me to message me most of the time. In my request thread I think it even says I won’t hold your hand. I do have this one partner that I go back and for with on YIM, messaging when we’ve posted to the rp. We also plot there though, and we do talk. She’s a good friend, and I think highly of her outside of BMR.

Now on the flip side of that, if you message me about replying to our rp, I’ll apologize and tell you what’s been going on. My partners know I don’t always reply quickly. I don’t have a set work schedule, and I do have a life outside of BMR. I don’t get annoyed. I look at it as they care. They want to hear back from me. I haven’t had someone that did to the extent as some of you have mentioned though. Like I said, my partners are very understanding. So far, I haven’t encountered being harassed for replies. Reminded? Yes. Harassed? No.
 
Temptationist said:
I once had a guy who was checking up on if I was "online" and so long as I appeared "online" he would message me almost every hour when I didn't reply.

I ended up having to block him.
If people expect constant responses back and forth - they should seek out mediums like Yahoo/aim/instant messengers.
Like this is a FORUM. Get out.

I feel you.
Click to expand...

Oh gees, that's probably worse than mine. At least I got a break from it for a while, that's just annoying, but every hour? Constantly? Not great... hehe.

I feel you too, heh.

Indeed, if people want a constant stream of RP they should use chatroom roleplay, which I quite like. It gives a bit of a consistency and a focus that forum stuff lacks, but forum RP almost always has better quality since people spend time thinking about their posts. That's a whole other debate though so let's not get into that, hehe.

Some people need manners and patience and that's that, hehe.
 
I'm of a different mindset. I understand that real life happens. However I expect to be treated as well as I treat others. If I enter into a rp with someone and they stop posting without explanation yet are still constantly on the forum then I drop them as partners. I will do my best to let others know I won't be posting for a while and expect the same respect. No I won't pester them. I may ask if my response was received as so often recently messages both in and out have been going bye bye. But I won't say anything after that.
 
I hate it when people pester me for replies. I like to be notified if something happens though.
I have a busy job and busy college schedule. It'll come when I have the time.

Writing is mentally exhausting and I can get burned out quite easily.
Especially if the person wants to RP literally every day non-stop.

Knowing me, I usually just do it regardless but truthfully it makes me hate it.
I am now learning to just flat out say "no."

XD
 
I mentioned this in the other thread (by accident) but I'll repeat it here. I don't mind people checking up on me, nor do I never check up. After a few days of non-contact, I'll ask if it's still going. If no answer, cool, I'll look for something new. But what REAAAAAALLY irks me is this:

Someone posts they want to RP. No explicit rules or anything in their thread. I PM them, ask if they wanna RP. Not only do they not answer, no, they reply after I messaged them stuff like "I'm so bored, someone play with me." etc. I mean, if you didn't like my style of approaching you, or my scenes or whatever, that's fine. But gimme a simple "No.". Please, it's not that hard.
 
lil angel said:
I mentioned this in the other thread (by accident) but I'll repeat it here. I don't mind people checking up on me, nor do I never check up. After a few days of non-contact, I'll ask if it's still going. If no answer, cool, I'll look for something new. But what REAAAAAALLY irks me is this:

Someone posts they want to RP. No explicit rules or anything in their thread. I PM them, ask if they wanna RP. Not only do they not answer, no, they reply after I messaged them stuff like "I'm so bored, someone play with me." etc. I mean, if you didn't like my style of approaching you, or my scenes or whatever, that's fine. But gimme a simple "No.". Please, it's not that hard.
Click to expand...

This irks me too!
Sadly, I'm also a hypocrite because I sometimes don't reply when someone's has message me for a request that I made. I'm definitely guilty of pissing off a few people for that.

HOWEVER, it's usually due to poor writing (like slang, or bad spelling/grammar etc.) or because the person simply has nothing creative to offer and is expecting me to do all the work. I hate that.
 
Temptationist said:
lil angel said:
I mentioned this in the other thread (by accident) but I'll repeat it here. I don't mind people checking up on me, nor do I never check up. After a few days of non-contact, I'll ask if it's still going. If no answer, cool, I'll look for something new. But what REAAAAAALLY irks me is this:

Someone posts they want to RP. No explicit rules or anything in their thread. I PM them, ask if they wanna RP. Not only do they not answer, no, they reply after I messaged them stuff like "I'm so bored, someone play with me." etc. I mean, if you didn't like my style of approaching you, or my scenes or whatever, that's fine. But gimme a simple "No.". Please, it's not that hard.
Click to expand...

This irks me too!
Sadly, I'm also a hypocrite because I sometimes don't reply when someone's has message me for a request that I made. I'm definitely guilty of pissing off a few people for that.

HOWEVER, it's usually due to poor writing (like slang, or bad spelling/grammar etc.) or because the person simply has nothing creative to offer and is expecting me to do all the work. I hate that.
Click to expand...

Well, I find it completely acceptable to ignore someone if they clearly didn't read your thread or something like that. From what I've read from you, I imagine you clearly state what you DON'T want, right? So it's in your right to ignore that then. But, like, if I message someone and say "Hey, look, we share these kinks, I love that scenario, I'm so and so literate and active, would you like to plot or RP right away? and they ignore me AND THEN, on top, post "Please, someone PM me." in their threads, then... grrr... We won't be friends. I shouldn't get upset about it, but I find it incredibly disrespectful.
 
Everyone here is guilty of it lil. Yourself inclded.

Personally I'm of the mindset that no one on here is not worth my time. If I get a request I respond. If I've entered into a to with someone and they haven't met my expectations and then ask I tell them.

There is a personal disconnect online that cowards use to ignore people. They forget that others deserve some respect. Even if someone obviously didn't read the entire thread it's right to let them know. It offers them the opportunity to better themselves. By affording them the opertunity to better themselves we better our community.

No one here is better than anyone else. Just different, with different experience.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom