Personal Journal

[Cannonball]

Ye know. When I was young I had to deal with Social Services alot. I was something of a poster child for the 'do NOT grow up like him' squad. Forgot how much fun they are to deal with. Needed to get a new insurance card from those bright bulbs.. Told me I needed to call Social Services and get my address updated. Come to find out the twenty other times I called them they forgot to put it in the computer systems, in turn DSS couldn't get my card sent to my actual current address.

So I talk to Social security. Should be simple enough right? Nope. Seems that my sweet little Blonde godzilla spoke recently with them and said SURE he is living with me... Now I did say I missed her to be sure. But to lie to them so she could keep tabs on me? Pfft! Untrusting lil wench didn't want me in her life. Fine and dandy, but don't go screwing with a half Virgo's money! Makes the Leo half want to go out there and dour a bit of Draino down her gullet and clear out the stupidity that dwells within!

Other than that todays been peachy. Got a phone conference set up with SS later this week to straighten things out, did some glass blowing for a lass and she paid me for it, roomie is very docile for the most part without his drugs. All in all I don't mind the majority that has happened this week. A few flaky attempts at requests on this site. Wonder if I dealt with them under my older name.. Would they be so silly? Probally. The lasses these days are not quite like the older ones. Maturity levels are quite different when wanting a story to be told. Back then it was me that carried the plots and stories, now they want to dictate just what and how something is said. Pfft on that..lol

Other site is back up and running. Most are so happy since they couldn't log on for a few days. So long as I can play my games on it and chat a bit with the few friends I have then I am a happy camper. Face book has decent enough games to tinker with, but the mind set and mental capabilities of those I play with do not challenge me in the slightest. Twould help if my memory was a bit foggier, but even on this medication I still feel like I am dealing with chaps and half wits. Even at chess it takes no more than twenty or so moves and then on to the next opponent. Much better to play the single player games. One lass wanted to argue on FB that in a Scrabble game the word Xenobiology was not a word. If not then why did the silly game allow it to be played? Not my fault she played bio and I took it to its limit.

Oh.. And I am asked (told really) that I need to get out a bit more. The few folks about me that know me say I am spending way to much time hiding here in the wee room. Threatening to send me out on a blind date. ROFL! IF they were that dumb then they will get what they deserve. I will act an arse and go back home as quickly as I get to the date! Sides, I do come out. I do the dishes, clean up, do a bit here and there, then I go back and hide. My arm is still smarting as it is. Want to go to the quack and have it looked at but not till I get my new Medicaid card. I can handle the pain though. Figure if I can handle the phantom pains and the constant ache of the stubs, this lil wrist and hand issue is nothing.

Might splurge and get me a bottle of rum though. Kinda miss the stuff though am afraid I will get back into the swing of drinking a fifth a day. This mixed blood inside me tends to want excess in that arena. Plus with Lyrica and the norcos/oxy's? Not a wise thing to get hooked on. Do not want to end up like my aunt who killed herself with too much of the mixed stuff. I have lost so much these past couple of years, and yet I do not want to give up just yet. Legs or no, heart or no, teeth or no.. I am still alive. Got to take what comfort in that which I can find. Will try and write more later. Need to do some room cleaning. I feel sort of boxed in at the moment.

 

[Cannonball]

Heh! Is it sad that I completely meant to do this yesterday, but when I started I had something come up. Just like today it seems. On a light note Bigfoot went to see his pill popping ho bag yesterday. Ended up talking smack woth her out of town visiting for a funeral older sister. This took place while Cathy was outside trying to score pills on credit from some guy. Looks like Bigfoot and her sister really hit it off. They were chatting once he got back for hours on the cell phone. It was.. Amusing. Though today he is still chatting with her and she is hinting that she might just move back up this way.. That's great except she is trying to milk money out of him already. The promise of some females attentions make us men do stupid things. I for one know this. But there is a point where a line has to be drawn. I wager he bragged over how well he has been doing saving money. That in turn made the greed rise in that gals eyes and saw him as something to exploit. Oh well, on that time will tell.. As will my loud voice if she starts trying to vamp him and all the work he has put in to save like he has.

So then today I respond to my partner who is feeling much better so she says. After that I get all stupid and start thinking how I miss so much. The sway of Nessie's hips and the feel of Cristal's lips. Silly things like that. Even going further still in my drowned love life to some of the others that meant so much to me for one reason or another. One that stood out in those thoughts was Missy. Between her and Tina I was one happy young camper. Tina was grand. All I could ever hope for and I messed it up by being a horn dog fool. Missy though left me due to her life needs.


My pen pal wrote back. Profuse in appologies over taking so long to write back. She has a nice name. Lindsey. I know she lives on the same coast and that she once was a teacher. All the rest was things I shall not repeat yet for I have no idea what would be fine TO repeat. She is a few years younger than I. Not that it matters. I remember back when I was younger how I felt I knew more through experiences than many. It was true then as it is now. My expertise is just in the negative areas of life while hers is more upbeat. I love me some upbeat folks. That is until I turn them into pestimists. Bah! Won't happen. I will put on a decent mask and keep this one laughing. Not all that hard to do considering the pranks I have had happen in my life, or should I say to my life?

Had to redo all the dishes thus far from earlier in the morning. First time in ages since the AC was cut on and it spit up like a baby! Water and dust mixed together into a grime that would make Jamie Farr's big ole nose curl up on itself. Now though it sounds like those next door THINK they can play obnoxious music. Me thinks I must respond in kind. They want rap? Time for death metal!

 

[Cannonball]

Skipped a bit on purpose this time. Had to deal with Mope Master Bigfoot. He was so excited over the prospect of that lil lady coming over only to find that she decided against it since the viewing was/is today. He is taking her though.. hould be heading out righ about now from her families place to head towards High Point. That is a pretty damn good ride too..lol This means that for the afternoon I have the place to myself. So Pandora is on music I will enjoy, for this eve will be a disaster most probally.

I figure leaving now would get them there somewhere around 3 give or take, then even if they only stick around an hour or so.. That will put them getting back this a way about six or seven. If she intends to stay the night he will still need to pick up that mattress and air it up, which tacks on another hour. By the time all that's done and said she will be too exhausted to do much. I am sure he will try though..lol He got up early this morn and started cleaning. Even got him to use some pine sol on the toilet! Miracle it is, trust me. This is a man who puts dirty dishes in hot water and considers them clean.

Found out she supposedly has cancer in the head and neck area or something.. Might be true, though if that is the case I will be contending with anothr Audry or Blonde Godzilla in behavior if she is about and he isn't. What is worse is if she does stay over her sister the pill hopper might show up just to see if she can score anything. Hell the nut had the nerve to ask Bigfoot last night that if her sister stayed over here could she as well! When he told me that I think my neck veins and tendons popped a little cause he backed out of the room quickly and assured me she would not be doing so. Good thing too cause where the fuck would she sleep? The bed out there that he would be buying should seat just two, and I think he reserves that for whom he intends to screw. That would leave just my bed.. I do NOT want that company! It may have been months since my last sexual encounter, but I can abstain for as long as it takes! Hell I have said it before. If I really wanted something to release a bit of sexual frustration I could get a hooker damn it. Not one hat I would worry over catching something from at that! ROFL! In the very least I got my hands and an imagination/memory chock full of past adventures of the sexual sort. I hardly need her to give me any satisfaction.

Even told him that. He laughed and made it clear to me what the prob was. She had never been turned down with one of her come ons until she met me. It's not that she isnt pretty in a conventional sense, but her type sickens me. I am far from wealthy in the large digits, but I do alright with what I have. People like her see that and start to drool. I am not her ATM, nor do I want to tolerate whining and pining over dollars when they oviously have no sense.

But enough of that. Think I will play a bit on FB and see what sort of things I can get into. MY rp partner went MIA as of late and I only saw one possible prospect worth the time to write. Sides, I have pen pals and all that which I should check up on.

 

[Cannonball]

t's about half past 3 and Bigfoot just got home not long ago. Then had to go out, then had to come back, then had a guest over that was male and not female..lol

It was so nice today for the most part. I did miss the chance to go on the zombie walk. Thought not many would show for it was too hot and I was hurting. Damned if I shoulda went! The guy sent me some pics of the event and told me all about it. For one there were plenty of ladies in that small town in Daisy Dukes. Told me they did the fun run.. I woulda chased them on my hands and ass if needed. Great incentive to get guys to join dontcha think? Or at least the bi and lesbian community.. =P

Second part to that was who showed up. See the event was for folks like me.. And two leggers had to run it too! ROFL! But seriously. I am as jealous as the second man. One man kissing the sweet nectar of a lass compared to a man (me it feels like) who is kissing a dogs rump. Some of the cast from the Waling Dead was there promoting this function and he got autographs all over his damn costume. Admit it folks.. I am Charlie freakin Brown.

Now onto his end of things. Bigfoot went to the viewing, but since he borrowed his mothers van he ended up with his desires father, her youngest and older sister and the wee ones boyfriend all going along with. HIS gal went in a seperate car and had a crowd with her.. So no alone time for the love birds.

To make matters more interesting she had a bit of a heat stroke due to not eating and the eat combined. Plus she had to drive on the way back.. And then add in her getting a flat. All of which Bigfoot had to try and be there for her. Guess it made an impression. They only know each other for a few days and they already say they love one another. She does not understand that he only wants sex really. Once he has had her a few times and she interferes with his own fun or work time? He will start to screw around.

Though that will take some tie, for when he returned from that incident... She had to run out of gas on the way to Hardee's. They ended up calling him to go not once but twice to get enough fuel to get her home. Plus he bought her BC powders AND a few packs of smokes. Rule of thumb to myself, keep almost all his cash from here on out so she does not spend it.

How can she spend it you ask if she does not even live in the same state? Simple. She is moving in with her father up here. Supposedly to help her father babysit and to be with Bigfoot. Question for anyone of these 250+ that looks at this post in passing over the months and years to come.. Would you go on an extended trip and not have enough extra to afford your own stuff? Cause if you don't or figure someone else should catch the tab? Sorry but I think you must be a mooch!

OH and before I close this out. My rp partner is back and actualy culd pop out three seperate additions to our lil play. I love her to pieces, I really do. She is sooo upbeat and relaxed in attitude I have a hard time being my cranky self. =P Sure I tell her about disappointments with the zombie walk and the like, but I actually do it in an upbeat 'It'sokay;' manner. I know to most their partners in these games looks for self satisfaction. That may hold true to her as well, but she is so freakin sweet.. Reminds me of my favorite food in the world. Sugar Cubes. Don't go all horse jokes with me. Those things are hard to find! Druggies use liquid shit on the cubes in order to mask what they truly are. Soo most stores in my state refuse to even sale them! My kingdom for a sweet square damn it! G'night!

 

[Cannonball]

Oh this one has to be quick because my eyes are still watering!

Went out tonight to eat something quick after doing a salvage run. Only place nearby we could sit in was a Subway. Silly booths leave little room for legs so I allowed Bigfoot to put my chair away near the front door. Didn't think much of it until a lass in her 20's I would say sat near us and started joking/flirting. I did assume at first she was doing so with him and not I because comon.. ROFL!

I was mistaken however. She after a time became more and more blunt with whom it was she had attentions for. I tried to play it dumb. After all she was nearly half my age. Didn't work. What did work was when she found out I was a bit short in the leg department. She quickly backed off and we started to pick on her. In her anger she made mention of being in a relationship with one of 'my type' before and that she refused to 'settle' again. Oh boy. This I had to correct quickly. I asked how she thought she would settle when it came to me. She spoke then of not being able to travel due to the stubs, then went further into saying that I would be unable to enjoy life to its fullest thanks to my disability. I all but died! Bigfoot looked at me as she spoke and when she was finished joined me in about 20 minutes of laughter. We had to ask for replacement sandwhiches thanks to her comments and our tears.

The word 'can't' and a handicapped person do not readily apply to one another. We might have to get inventive to get something done, but that tis all in realative I.Q., not because we are unable. Plus considering the fact that we had been lifting, were dirty as hell, and tired.. It made for an even funnier situation. More to come after I calm down and rub out muscles that were never meant to lift driers unassited!

 

[Cannonball]

Today was one of those fuck humanity days. Decided instead to lay about and watch that Daredevil series a bit. Only gotten through the first few episodes, but it isn't as bad as I thought. Sides, with the roomie being in a tizzy over his new gal it seems best for me to try and forget the world a bit.

My understanding is the gal is heading back home tonight or tomorrow morn one to pack up and move on back up this way. Of course he is damned and determined to spend time with her.. So he rode over to her families house only to find she was not there. this might be a guess on my part, but considering her sisters behaviors combined? Their whole family has what I consider bad blood.

Harsh I know, but that saying that the apple doesn't fall far is an understatment sometimes. One sister is a known thief and drug abuser, the other youngest is not only the same, but had to have her child put into her fathers custody just so it would not be removed. Then this one. Aye.. she has cancer. She smokes pot. She is never where she says she will be when she says it. She has thus far 'been gifted' with many items from Bigfoot, not excluding small cash sums. Once she gains these lil monetary items or cash itself she vanishes and he can't find her. Coincidence? I think not. But I have to meet her to see what she is about. They say that women speak on multiple levels while we men can hardly muster more than two. Some may go as high as three, but those end up being relationship guru's or some tripe. Me? I see them for what they are. I do not even bother with the communication aspect.

I knew in the past that some of my relations were terrible mixes from the get go.. But I needed and wanted that companionship in this life so badly I was willing to overlook many things. Well. Ignore.. Nope.. I just closed my eyes and rode the sexual gravy train..lol Luckily for me however, this newer generation of females are normally so crass and determined to be tom boys' that they are easy as fuck to read. Stance, the avoidance of eye contact, the dialation of pupils, even the modulation of voice makes it less and less difficult to see through the crap they spew. This one is probally no different. Cancer or no, any woman that can throw in there with the I love you syndrome after only seeing someone tree times? Yup. They got something in the agenda other than mere friendly or sexual interest.

As for myself? Tis a new month and most of my check will go out to fix all the crap that he has yet to. The house bills will come secondary ttis month. Got that fine to clear and the truck payment that needs be made. Plan to just take over his finances period at this juncture so that it is all said and done. Tired of it, of him, of almost everyone today.

Only thing besides the series I enjoyed was reading a few of the request threads. Even messaged one of them. It had me laughing a bit so I had to. Did get one response back from them but no worries about rping with them. Putting a smle on my face was more than sufficient. I have my one partner who has and is great, even if she is so busy that she hardly can keep up. Between her and FB and the other site I frequent I can stay as busy as I like when online. Hell moreso than this buck would like. The wrist is still bugging me and the fact that my pharmacy is being lax is not helping. Lyrica is what keeps me from balling up like an armidillo some days, and I am down to my emergency supply.

 

[Cannonball]

Tis about half past nine and Bigfoot is over at his girls place I think. Was supposed to bring her here for some nook nook, but considering how lazy and self absorbed he has been? Best if he doesn't. That and he wants to make sure I do not meet her. If I did who knows what I might say or do at this point.

He came in earlier today and talked about getting a rock. I told him off. Said that if he damn well intends to waste his money and time on that shit then A he does not need my financial help and B he will lose his gal in short order. Considering he has been so busy chatting with her on the phone that he has failed to get my refill of meds and I have been lending him a few, failed to get diner, failed to get the bills paid short of rent (and the rent was only paid because she showed up looking for it in person before he ran off), nor has had time to even get groceries? Aye. He does not want to bring her within twenty feet of me. I would belittle his ass and put him to work all at the same time.

Wanting one rock does not sound all that bad, but I know one leads to five.. And he wants it because he got paid his monthly state check. Bite my hairy ass! I earned today close to half a K working my tail off. It takes him the majority of the month to make that much. He has all those things I bitched about earlier to contend with. Fines, bills, payments, etc. Keeps telling me that these people are trying to tempt him into smoking it. I do not care. If Jesus himself came down and told me he was allowed to smoke it I would run the savior over. Simple as that. I have no more pity or compassion in that area.

This Irish born fella has no more nine left to give for a few days. That well is run beyond dry. Tis why I do not bother with role plays at this point. MY regular partner has made no attempt to respond in a couple due to real life, and these young lasses whom i contact are the sort that I ould not really relish much contact with. They are to say in the least less than reliable. It is for fun that I write outside of this, not to appease anyone or thing. Listen to me. I sound rather hate filled don't I? Think it is a lack of female conversation in my life. Last person I spoke to was an old friend on another site. She hardly speaks English and German is one of my weaker vocabs so it makes it rough.

Aye, I do have lasses here I can talk to or go out with.. But when I think of it my heart says no. I do not want or need the added aggrivation of humoring them with small talk, and if it were some sort of date? I hardly feel that I could open up to one and risk anything of importance. She though is a wonderful woman when we breach the words problem. She sent me pics when I was on that site so many years ago, and they made me gasp in wonder! Only problem with her and I besides that is distance.. Well that and she is dating someone. We agreed a long time back that our fliting was just for fun. Mostly because of that other man. I do not want to give my best to someone only for them to give their best to someone else.

Sure we would do a bit of verbal cybering to a degree. Mostly what we would do if we met one another. But now let's be realistic. I am in a chair and she is young.. I do mean young compared to me. I think she just now turned 28 or something like that? Mind you Cristal was younger than that when I first started dating her and that was years ago.. Plus it lasted years to boot. She was 18 when we started dating and we stayed together till she was what? 26 I think? Age is not a prerequsite for love.

Speaking of Bigfoot. Just now got back. Took so long because he took her out to eat at the Golden Corral. Brought me back Mc.D's. One box of chicken nuggets and a small frie. I gave him 60 to get us all a meal and they spent close to 50... Okay.. Time to eat and deflate my anger.

Okay. That was a decent meal. Plus they just left after about an hour of being here. ~Snerkle laughs~ I tried to stay clear of the situation but she decided NOT to put out while I was here. Whata hoot! I heard her talking about it with him. She said she would take off her pants but not her top 'out of respect'! Oh geez! But seems she has a new phone.. Wonder whose money was used to buy it? I pray it wasn't Bigffot. If so and he didn't even get laid?! Whata rip off that would be! ~Is just laughing his arse off~

Now though I am thinking of watching me some more Daredevil. Tis the episode called Stick. If I am right Stick was the eacher of Elektra n the comic book series. It should be good. But first I have to ask something mentally general that's bugging me. I look on that wee counter of views and it shows me over 400.. Seriously? Why in the world would anyone want t peek in in, no less 3 or 4 hundred people/times?! I can sum up in a few words who I am to save anyone effort in reading this. I am a crotchety old fart who in his life has had many loves and many losses. Now go and write some good erotic stuff to make me proud and git! Shew I say! =P

Seriously. I don't care who reads this stuff. I rant and rave quite a bit, but I do it because I care about the folks close to me. I may have lost my legs, but never my heart. Maybe tomorrow I will write out why. I was a mean lil bastard in my younger days until Tina. That lass changed me more than the loss here of my legs. She in the end showed me what love really was and no one to this day di what anyone could for me and to me. Now see ya journal I got me some sows to watch!