Patreon LogoYour support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)

Dark Dreams (A/A's and Journal)

July 6th, 2015

Doctor's Apt today, follow up for ER visit. Spent the weekend in a varying level of pain and agony. Doctor's office was a bit of a hassle filling out all the new patient paperwork. Get new prescriptions, as well as a knee immobilizer. Apparently Doc is concerned about how my leg will suddenly give out, which concerned me as well. He gave me some other meds to take as well, and said he was going to forward for an MRI. Leave office to head to DHS to file change of income and the situation going on. As well as pick up info for my friend to become my daughter's child care provider.

On way to DHS I get a call that the Wokman's Comp had no record of my claim, or file. I am confused because I am looking right at the paperwork from my employer with the information filed. Call up work and ask what's going on, and get told I need to come in and we can figure it out. Go to DHS that takes like 2 hours because of slow people. Finally get to work and talk to the manager - after waiting over half an hour. She takes the note I have that puts me on another week of no work, 'yay' me... And said she got off the phone with the boss... and says that she will REFILE my claim, because apparently it never got sent out properly. Also will refile it with the proper information, because the rere had put that I hadn't gone to the ER>

Mind you the paper I had given for the filing had THE ER INFORMATION RIGHT ON IT. I was in the ER on thursday night. SO now I have to wait for a call from the upper management of my job, to give me the information I need so I can call the Doctor's office and they can resubmit the MRI scheduling. Which will hopefully happen before the end of the week. I have ANOTHER apt with the same Doctor on monday to follow up on everything again and see my progress.

Mind you all this is going on and I still have my college placement exams on Thursday. SO I'm sooooo happy, no not really... I'm actually pretty livid right now.
 
July 12th,2015

So things have been really painful, but I am getting over it slowly. Had my MRI on Friday, after having to wait several days for SAIF to even recognize there was a situation going on. Not that it was their fault, apparently my work did misfile things, or the first claim was never filed at all. I am staying on top of things, and making sure to keep SAIF and my work informed. I keep in touch with the doctor if I have any symptoms that worry me, and I have been generally just trying to take care of myself as much as possible.

This injury has taken a large toll on my ability to write, or my want to write. I have been doing the best I can to try to respond within a certain time period, but sometimes I just have no interest in posting because I am in just too much pain.

Tomorrow, around Four pm, I will find out what the results of my MRI were. The Doctor told me at a minimum I will have to do physical therapy, and can return to work on a light/modified workload. If it's worse than that, the chances are I will need a readjustment that relieves the pressure on the nerve that is pinched in my spine, or even so far as to have a procedure to fix it. Either way, the option that is worse would end up with more time off, and more time for healing, before I can even consider coming back on a light or modified duty.

SAIF appears to be on my side, and they are doing everything they can to help me. I am just hoping that my job doesn't try to fuck me over because someone else wasn't doing their jobs properly. Here is to hoping for the better, and for hoping that my muse pick up continues so I can get caught up on everything I owe currently.
 
The Last 17 days

Well, this is going to be a bit of a long update. Last time we spoke it was the 12th of July, now it's the 29th. That's a lot of time to cover, but I can get you updated on quite a lot. So the MRI went well, the doctor was able to find out a lot about my back. Non-related to the Work Comp issues - we discovered I have arthritis, already, in my lower back. This could explain some of my pain, but not all. The Doctor at that point decided it was time to get me referred to Physical therapy. Which began a few days after the Doctor's apt.

The First physical Therapy appointment did not go well. Especially since my painkillers were not working. I was in so much pain that the Therapist couldn't even have me do any exercise. He gave me a book that talked about back pain, and told me to read it. I went home after that. But there was other news, that was a little more important to me at the time. I went to the college, the day before the Physical Therapy Appointment, and spent the entire day at the college doing placement exams as well as getting all of my Orientation stuff done. By the end of it all I knew what I was taking, how many credits I'd be taking, and I had a better sense of worth.

The Physical Therapist did tell me that I needed at least two appointments a week for at least the next four weeks, and also mentioned that I needed to get my stress cut down. So I spent the weekend cutting all of my controllable stresses. I was a little bummed at the fact that I would be under so much stress - in a sense, from all the constant appointments. But it was ok, because I know I will get better.

I went to the Doctor again, telling him what the Therapist said. He gave me a modified work note, and I turned it in. Work still wouldn't putu me on the schedule because they had no positions for the modified work the Doctor cleared me for. Two Physical therapy appointments later, I find out that I was supposed to be going to work on the THursday I had an appointment. I told my work that I could come in the next morning, for the shifts they scheduled me for.

I am still in a lot of pain, and have been going back to work on severely modified duty. But right now, right now I have some major news on my head. At the Doctor's apt yesterday, the Doctor decided I need another MRi for something my knee is doing. He is probably going to send me to an Orthopedic Doctor soon. Unfortunately, it was mostly in relation to the fact that my Doctor thinks there is a displaced Tendon - because I am still having inflammation in my knee that was injured.

Physical therapy is doing well, and I'm getting ready for Kumoricon. Baby is growing well, and generally I'm trying to get better at keeping people up to date. I'll start working on it a bit more.


On a small note, my FAFSA should be completely cleared through and I'll be going to school in the fall! I'm taking Math 60, because I want to take a step back and make sure I have my mind properly refreshed on math. I'm also going to be taking a Writing Composition course, which will help me increase my writing skills even further. Other than that, I needed one more class in order to get my full time student status, so I selected Japanese 101. I'm going to begin learning languages not my birth language! I will keep doing this all through the two years I need to gain the 90 credits for my Associates of General Studies degree! I am so excited to be expanding my knowledge, and attending school! This is going to be one of the most amazing things possible for me.


Going to college means one very big thing for me, it means I can prove everyone wrong and prove myself right. I will be making something of myself, and I will make a better life for my daughter than some people said I'd be able to. So take that life, I'm going to ride through the trials and celebrate the good times!
 
July 30th

I got the email today! The one that told me I had been approved for my student grant! I nearly jumped to the moon when I found I qualified for the full amount available! Further than that I was actually shown some really awesome student loan information. I think, with the right application, in the future a Student loan would actually be a really good idea for me and my family. It would help me build credit, and I wouldn't borrow as much as they were offering. It could be an affordable way (With payments of 50$ a month!) for me to build credit and pull myself out of the hole I'm in.

With my Award finalized and my Pell Grant available... I just have to wait till next Friday when my classes open for registration! I am practically crying with joy, honestly. I am so excited to be going to college. Each term I do I earn more credits and can register for classes even sooner!

So today I had physical therapy, we discovered new more disturbing issues with my knee as well as a new discovery that something in my back keeps popping and grinding during specific activities. My physical therapist is a bit concerned and told me to watch out when I was doing my practice exercises. I've been trying to get in at least two walks a day, usually manage at least one, that are at least a 10 minute walk. I'm going to have to modify a few thigns, and build up a little system for me to do walking. Mostly because it's bloody hot and I'll need the appropriate gear to facilitate this.

Oh yes, what my work did - they basically had me go straight to work after physical therapy. I was thrown into the drive through, again, and then put on to watching videos. My manager seems rather annoyed that I made sure to tell her that I need to come in late on Friday next week - because of classes registration. I also gave her my scheduled Physical Therapy appointments, so now she has absolutely no excuse for scheduling me that close to my appointment.

I'm still in a lot of pain, but I'm advancing. Making a game of it, as best as I can. I know I need to physically get better, and as I get better I'll be more able to do things I really want to do. I'm also looking at the possibility of getting a membership at the local gym, as expensive as it might be, so I have a better outlet for exercise. If anything I can make an hour for myself each day,after I have it, and ask one of my house mates to watch my daughter so I can exercise.

Anyways... I think that's it for now.
 
July 30th to August 15th

Well this is a bit of a stretch to catch up on. I can't believe I kept holding off on writing another entry. I was just so tired, and constantly stressing. It's been a bit chaotic, honestly, and a bit bothersome.

So, MRI was done, on August 4th. Which was a bit of a stressful day, the MRI on my knee was done - and then I had to head on back home. Called up to find out about my appointment, for physical therapy, only to find out there was a mix up in the system. We adjusted it, I got my scheduled appointment on time. But once again 'misadventures' with Burger King. I stopped by to double check the schedule to find out when I was working. There was some serious discrepancies of when I was and wasn't supposed to work.

A bit of an understanding, before I was even hired I made it clear I couldn't work Monday through Wednesday due to child care options. They not only tried to schedule me to work on the SAME Tuesday (later in the day) That I had an MRI and a Physical therapy appointment, but they tried to schedule me to work the Wednesday right after that. One of the managers, the nicer one - the newest one - sat me down to fix the issue. Because she at least remembered what I said. Turns out she got in trouble for 'fixing' the schedule issues.

Which also had me scheduled to work during a time that I requested to come in later, it wasn't really a request, I pretty much told Burger King that August 7th was my class registration day. That I was not going to be even be able to come in till after a certain time. Turns out they tried to schedule me RIGHT in the middle of when I had to schedule classes.

The nice manager helped me adjust everything, and I continued onward with all of my appointments and traveling. August 7th I signed up for my classes. I am officially a College student, and that's a big giant middle finger in the faces of the people that constantly told me I'd never make it. I'll be taking a Writing Composition class online; Mathematics, Ballet, and Japanese will be on campus. I'm already working on getting other things arranged as well.

I had my Doctors Appointment for the MRI this last Tuesday, and it seems all is good. Though I have some arthritis in my knee too, which absolutely baffles the Doctor because I'm only 26. Well, those with really flexible joints to sometimes have more issues. But it's ok, I'll be talking to my Primary care provider about that.

Work this week was not pleasant, on Thursday I had to go to work before I had physical therapy. Even though my shift was only two and a half hours on Thursday - reduced hours... - I was still near crying by the end of the shift. Between the strangely bipolar way my Manager kept changing her mind about my position, to the fact that it is obviously My fault that I was the only one working front counter and someone ordered 12 milkshakes at once - so it's my fault when I couldn't expedite several orders at the same time as making all the milkshakes. I was doing exactly what I had been taught to which was follow the orders based on what is on the screen.

Ever since I got back from being injured, and ever since they started me on Drive through work, I have been having more and more difficulty with the job. The last four times I worked there was literally absolutely no break, which I generally got a small 10 minute one in the middle . Everything collapsed down around me on Thursday when I was standing at the french fry station and I couldn't see for a good span of time. My world literally narrowed down and my hands caught me on the counter by the french fry area. I just stood there staring. That's when the manager decided to scream at me for a customer walking out, because the guys in the back weren't making burgers fast enough - so it's obviously my fault... when I hand't even had a chance to get to them yet.

I went to physical therapy after the day from living hell, and ended up nearly collapsing in a sobbing wreck in the therapists office. My physical therapist was visibly angered at the way I had been driven at work, when I had given them a notice of my appointment the week before. Obviously since the Doctor released me to full work that meant that my job could ride me into the ground and put me away without proper clean up. this effected my physical therapy appointment, as it made it nearly impossible to do most of my exercises. Because I hadn't been given a break I also hadn't been able to eat anything - thus I had been unable to take my pain meds.

They also made me stay late and I barely caught the bus I needed to make it to my physical therapy on thursday.

The good news was on Tuesday after physical therapy I ran into a woman that is interested in giving me her bike. Since I did a kindness for her, and she heard some of my story when we were on the bus, she wanted to help me. I've been working on those details with her over text.

I have been working to try to make sure I have all my school stuff arranged, get caught up on all my writing (again), and make sure that I am keeping my place clean. Overall things have just been piling up on me mentally and I just want a /real/ break.

All I want right now is like two days for me to vanish into a hotel room and not have to leave unless I want to leave. Just two days to do whatever I want.

Yes I have my Anime convention coming up, of which I will be an Assistant manager at, but that's not really the kind of break I am looking for.


I'll try to get better at updating all of you.
 
August 16th

Exhaustion, that's a good word for today. Exhaustion. My daughter isn't sleeping well, she was up really late last night. She didn't crash until 1am, and then spent the next four and a half hours being in and out of slumber. I couldn't get to sleep till about 5:30 am, because she was constantly waking up. I'm not sure what's wrong with her, but unfortunately there wasn't much I could do. My husband watched the baby so I could try to sleep in a little this morning.

After I got up, somewhere after only about 6 ish hours of sleep, I came downstairs to help with my daughter. She managed to crash for her usual nap, and I passed out with her. After the nap was over we started cleaning in the house. we are getting a lot of cleaning one today, as well as laundry. Tonight i get to put a lot away, and tomorrow I get to finish everything up.

I am going to try to work on all my writing, but I'm also planning for school. I need to get a good bike lock, and safety gear. Also gotta work on getting a bike repair kit. I plan on biking partially to school, and then taking the bus for other parts. I'm really interested in making sure that I can get super healthy, and so I can do well in Ballet.

Anyways, I'm just mostly exhausted. I'm trying to stay caught up...
 
August 17th-19th

What can I say, time got away from me again. I wanted to stay caught up on everything, and was just dealing with everything that life invovles. Getting lost in the stress of preparing for college, finding out I had no scheduled work hours for this week. I think that's their way of giving me the finger for turning in my two week notice. Since this isn't a right to work state... they really aren't required to give a Part time employee hours. But whatever, that's just one more thing to stress me as I try to make ends meet.

Because my husbands pay increased a little bit we had a 60$ drop in our SNAP, which is going to stretch the budget even thinner. Looks like I'm eating ramen quite often now, hey look College student diet! Not joking, I'm going to be eating Ramen. My daughter will always eat well, even if I do not.

Working on getting my bike, friend had to hold it off till this paycheck - how can I complain? I'm getting help getting my bike, I shouldn't be a pushy brat.

I have to go get my School ID, and I also have a friend showing up from Florida at the end of next week. Husbands birthday is monday, and on lighter news I may also be seeing my crush on that day too. Yay me!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom